🌑bliss🖤

🖤🖤🖤🖤Why is life such an extremely depressing experience? I'm tired of constantly going back and forth with myself over and over. I get that I need to be focused on myself but idk why I cannot seem to do that. I'm always bothered by what someone else is doing. I want to be independent and happy. I can't seem to do that. I am tired of feeling this way. I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing. I can't even seem to motivate myself. Some days I just want to give up. Some days are too much to deal with. No one cares if I'm here. Really. I don't know who loves or needs me. I wish I had the answer. I wish I knew.🖤🖤🖤🖤

🖤🖤🖤🖤Why am I so sad? Why fucking mental illness. Like it isn't bad enough to have diseases but no ur mind gets to be fucked up too. Well just wanna say thanks for that. I really love being mentally ill. I love waking up feel no desire to do anything. To have to fake how well I am. To have people believe I'm fine because I'm so tired of making them feel bad or clueless as how to help me. I want to disappear or something. I've been this way so long I don't know how else to feel. People who don't understand or care don't get what it's like to deal with this on a daily basis. They think medication will solve you. No, it just temporarily numbs you. That's all. Depression is terminal. It makes you addicted to your sadness. I wish I could fix it. I wish I loved myself. I wish I cared. Just a little more. But I dont. I don't get it. I don't want to be this way. But whatever nothing will probably ever change.🖤🖤🖤🖤

No one would care if I disappeared off this Earth. Name one person, really. Tell me why any of this bullshit is necessary. Good people die and bad ones live. What kind of fucking justice is that? We all just use each other. Does anyone really love anyone? If so, what's it like?

🖤🖤🖤🖤It's all just so scary right now. I'm afraid or what's gonna happen to me, will anything ever be normal again? Let me say thank goodness I have been taking medication otherwise I would have been losing my mind by now.🖤🖤🖤🖤

🖤🖤🖤🖤Addicted to Tumblr, kinda saw it coming. I wanna be on all the time. Well, at least I found my thing🖤🖤🖤🖤

🖤🖤🖤🖤You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout I'm telling you why, you're all gonna die. Seriously STFU I can't stand it dumbass neighbors and their dumbass kids🖤🖤🖤🖤

🖤🖤🖤🖤At least I'm not the one who has to feel bad about anything. I'm trying my best and I know that is all that matters. I don't even care anymore. I feel like my friends are becoming acquaintances but what can ya do?🤦🖤🖤🖤🖤

🖤🖤🖤🖤Life is nothing but a tragic story. You live your life in pain and misunderstanding you feel no one is on your side. Maybe I'm right about that.

🖤🖤🖤🖤Okay then. I see where I stand and where everyone stands. It's all good I don't need anyone to tell me or express to me anything. All I have to do is look out for myself. And that is fine. Not like I haven't been doing it all this time. I'm just tired of thinking I have a team. I'll always be a loner. It's who I'm supposed to be I guess.🖤🖤🖤🖤

🖤🖤🖤🖤All I do is blog and complain what if I'm not cut out for college? What if I'm too dumb? I have to edit an assignment cause I was having trouble with it. I know like it probably isn't even a big deal but I feel really stupid. I just want to get something right in my life for once.🖤🖤🖤🖤

🖤🖤🖤🖤Everyone is just in it for themselves. Friends use you to get to where they dispose of you like garbage like "here I'm done with you" even if you're a great friend. I may not be perfect but I always love and care but I guess that means nothing.🖤🖤🖤🖤

🖤🖤🖤🖤What would happen if I said goodbye to everyone? If I just cut everyone off? Would anyone come looking for me? Knock on my door and say"hey where you been?" Would they feel worried or at all concerned? I feel so disconnected however I hate and love it very much🖤🖤🖤🖤

🖤🖤🖤🖤I want to quit and burn the place down. I want to leave this town. I want to travel, with my cat. I want to bring Sonny back so he could meet his brother. I don't understand life. You make me depressed and suffer my whole life. By the time I finally start enjoying it, why do I feel like it'll all go wrong then? 🖤🖤🖤🖤

🖤🖤🖤🖤Honestly it is so terrifying how those dark places in your mind still exist, no matter how much you try to escape them there they are. Waiting for you. Life ugh I just don't get it🖤🖤🖤🖤

🖤🖤🖤🖤Life is so exhausting I would like to stop now🖤🖤🖤🖤

🖤🖤🖤🖤The sad thoughts never go away🖤🖤🖤🖤

🖤🖤🖤🖤I want to see the world and explore. But then I remember how tired I am. I'm only getting older and all I wanna do is stay home and forget everyone I know or the people I feel fading from me. Life is so confusing and difficult where am I supposed to go from here🖤🖤🖤🖤