( on semi hiatus. )

hey guys, derek’s mun here !! lately my muse for derek has been dropping (yes it’s making me sO SAD) so i have decided to take a few days or so off just so i can breathe and hopefully gain inspo back for him. i will not be dropping previous threads as that is completely unfair and i enjoy them very much as well (i have some on queue anyways). if you wish to contact me i’m always on discord: derek#8724 . i am beyond sorry for those who are left hanging, i promise dez will be back :”) okay, love you all, pls love derek, and i’m sorry again !

it was a moment like this, a time derek misses the most. it wasn’t that he hated his life now, in fact, he loves it more than words can ever describe. but the people before the fame, the ones who knew him as just derek kim- those are the ones he holds closest and dearest to his heart. erin, being one of them, was someone who was always there for him, whether it be because he was alone or simply because too many people doubted him, she offered her comfort and friendship which derek is beyond thankful for to this day. “chips from your mom, huh? you mean for yourself?” he snickers to himself, eyes roaming around the store filled with their favorite snacks, “erin-ah, are we pigging out today? if we are, you gotta keep it a secret from my manager, he’d kill me and besides, you’ll protect me, right?” derek cups his own cheeks gently, batting his eyelashes to create a playful image for the latter to agree upon his wish. “if that’s the case, you know how i am with ice cream, let’s go!”

“I mean, whatever you say, I guess?” It wasn’t that he was fearless regarding plenty of things that scared most people, he only found himself to be more interested than afraid. Call it weird if you will, but Derek was not one to freak out in front of others, no matter how anxious he felt. “Oh, thank god”, he breathed a sigh of relief as the latter reassured his knowledge of that one particular word, before looking up at Hanjae with an offended look casting upon his face. “Hey, hey, hey! I’m a rapper! And..I’m twenty?”, he exclaims, trying his hardest to justify his frequent usage of the word ‘yo’ as it is something that comes out of his mouth almost every time. “Okay, okay, sorry br-- I mean, oh, Hanjae, the name’s Derek. And I mean why not? Wouldn’t it be cool? Oh wait, what the fuck- you’re not going to kill us, right?” The questions that he fired towards the latter ranged from optimism to well, intimidation. After a still moment of complete silence, Derek nodded as he understood the other’s intentions, something he would do to most people. “Ah, I got you, I got you. I mean if you’re hungry, do you want something that- you know, isn’t human?” He cracks a small grin before giving the other a thumbs up, “You want me to sing or some shit? You know, people pay for this. But I'll get going.”

DEREK: hey! sometimes you leave your stuff too, no?

the words that left the female’s mouth was a bit frightening as feelings of worry washed over his entire body, mostly due to the remembrance of having the exact same mindset a few years back. derek wasn’t an expert on idol life, not at all, but he sure was experienced after dealing with the media, fans, or even antis that documented almost every detail of his life. “xia, please take a step back. pause for a moment and breathe because you’re stressing yourself out.”, he stated upon taking note of the frustration in the latter’s eyes, “yes you can, you can do this, and trust me, i won’t let you slip. why don’t we just- take your mind off of things for now, forget about the press, the false rumors- just, take a breath, yeah?”

gazing at the admiring sight in front of him, he was put into a light trance whilst taking a moment to clear his fully occupied mind. the question that the other emitted caught him by surprise, especially after taking note of his sudden curiosity. “ah, well, not originally. you see, all my life- well, 8 years of it, I always yearned for a way to escape my reality, you know, being mistreated and all. it wasn’t until i started to drown myself in music and found my passion in bboying that i realized becoming an idol seemed like the best way to get away from my past,” the younger took a pause as he reminisced about his aspirations before a lengthy sigh left his lips, “though, a company emailed me about being a trainee, which is where i found my talents in rapping and singing.” although his answer caused him to feel nostalgic, the interest for the latter’s occupation increased to which a similar question arose, “good question. now how about you? what made you want to study music and write lyrics of your own?”

DEREK: pleeeeeaseeeee, for me?

He had taken the precaution of shoving the wallet into his pocket, careful not to forget it the second time. As the two stepped outside, Derek took a deep breath as the club they were in seemed too congested for his liking. “Ah, what a lovely name you have. The name’s Derek, pleasure to meet you, Miss Sakura.” Although he was beyond thankful for her kind action, he felt a slight amount of guilt as well, almost as if he owed her something. “Actually, about that, would you care to eat out sometime? My treat, trust me”, he replied, unintentionally dismissing the fact that he was an idol, “Or, is there anything you really want to have at the moment? I mean, with my wallet, I could get it no problem.”

derek beamed as she happily informed him of her mother’s support for his group, even if he already dubbed her as his own mom. he was always one to admire every single one of his fans, but of course, the encouragement from the jungs gave him even more strength to continue pursuing what he loves to do. he thought of her as one of his closest friends, if not the closest, as erin was by his side during his trainee days, being one of the few who actually spoke english.  “ she’s coming? right now? ”, he asked, expressing his excitement considering he hasn’t seen her family in quite some time now. “ w-wait, i have to get your mom something before she picks us up, flowers? ” he smirked, completely aware of the awful pun he just made using her mother’s nickname for the latter. “ okay but seriously, you think i’m coming over empty handed? after all you guys have done for me? ”, derek insisted with panic coloring his words, “ holy shit erin, let’s go inside this store real quick? please? i’ll...get you something too i guess. ” of course, he was going insane for a moment, only because he was slightly nervous upon seeing her family- it wasn’t that they were dating, no, but he would be lying if he said he didn’t absolutely adore erin, “ c’mon, ya love me, don’t you? ”, he laughed whilst tugging the other’s wrist.

me thinking about replies: holy jesus fuck i need to reply or they'll hate me oh my god i have to reply right now im fucking sweating lord save me

      stretching his arms from exhaustion, he let out a jaded yawn before aimlessly roaming the TKO dorm to occupy his mind. he would usually be out skateboarding his heart out, or even playing some video games, but today felt like one of those days. reaching the kitchen, his eyes widened upon seeing the elder rummaging through the shared refrigerator. “oh sh-- oh hey...andy hyung....haha....uhh...what’s up?”, derek had a feeling in his gut that andy was looking for his leftovers from the other night, the ones he had previous devoured in the morning, “so, nice weather today, right?”, he asked in hopes of changing the subject.

pausing for a moment to allow the female to finish her statement, he nodded his head slightly to indicate his understanding, “yeah, i get you. but what happened? wanna get your mind off of it?”