BabyGirl

I hate feelings dude whose fucking idea was this

whatever at least I give good head

you want to be romantically attracted to someone? the thing that killed romeo and juliet?

*genuinely absorbed zero information* got it

religion is so fucking funny the world is just too beautiful there must be a higher entity behind all this. lets oppress women

wedding dresses are white specifically so that if the bride goes axe-crazy you can rest assured you will see the blood stains all over her and it'll be sick as fuck

i guess i'll go fuck myself (skips away merrily)

I'm always down to meet a cat

gf that sends selfies x bf that sends back a picture showing how hard he is

would it be too clingy of me to crawl into your lap every chance i get

After we compare hand sizes let's see how big my hands are compared to your throat.

Fun fact: for some reason men that compare themselves to golden retrievers on hinge do NOT like being told “bark for me dog”