Just a Witch

they found the culprit and turned their cock back one hour

i lowkey ship tumblr ♠ twitter now

Obsessed with animals that don’t immediately understand something and just tilt their head about it. Does it make any more sense at a 45° angle, bud?

Whatever or whomever they saw and judged, I agree. I never need to know the specifics.

god you're so fucked up lets make out

i think my ideal job is being paid 50$/hour to sit on the computer doing whatever i want at an empty rented office space for mysterious employers definitely running some kind of money laundering scheme and just needing me to keep up appearances of one of their shell companies but im not like, in on anything and no one can charge me for anything

I'd be the perfect front for your shady company. I always look baffled, I'll never be able to pick you out of a line up, and odds are good I'll forget your name ten minutes after you tell it to me.

ok so there’s a game me and my friends play called “don’t get me started” and basically someone gives another person a random topic and they have to go on an angry rant about it and it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to us at parties and car rides so I highly recommend playing sometimes with your friends

I love this idea. We used to do things like this in Improv.

Related game: “THINK ABOUT IT.” You’re given a random topic, and your job is to build it into an epic conspiracy theory, the crazier the better. You end your rant with a serious face and the command that your listeners “Think about it.” 

Another related game: Illuninati. Similar to Think About It except you are given 2 completely different topics and you have to connect them to each other in a wild conspiracy rant

Rb to safe an awkward hang out

me and my friends play “World’s Greatest Expert” where one of the other players says “Hey, I heard you’re the world’s greatest expert on ____” and you have to give an in depth (and probably completely false) lecture about the thing you’re the greatest expert on. Other players are allowed to ask you questions.

The version I learned was ‘Ah Yes’ in which someone gives you a work of art or famous landmark and you go “Ah Yes, the ____” in a posh accent while making up the most wildly inaccurate history of the topic. Bonus points for how hard everyone laughs.

is anyone else on this hill or is it just me and sisyphus and kate bush?