Duke Nitro

does anyone have that gif of a penis growth ad thats a guinea pig that stretches out rly long and a girl says “hot!” and the guinea pig spins around pls i need it

YES!!! YES!! YES!!!!!

it's extremely funny reading historical accounts of Spontaneous Human Combustion because it follows the normal historical trend of other 1800s paranormal phenomena where it stopped happening as much right around the time cameras were invented and stopped happening entirely when everyone started carrying mini cameras in their pockets, but unlike most others of its ilk, it was effectively replaced by this mysterious phenomena where alocoholics would spill liqour on themselves and then fall asleep smoking a cigarette and turn into a fireball. nobody knows if these two things are related

i was gonna do more but thats all i could think of

things have been bad for me lately

no one with any amount of power brave or enlightened enough to call what the western world is doing to children segregation. children are segregated from public life. children are a legitimate oppressed class

what else do you call it when third spaces place curfews for when children are allowed in, when public squares hire cops and guards to boot out any kids they find for "loitering"; when arcades and theatres and entertainment spaces mandate ID checks regardless of if their content is age-inappropriate or not; when parks for kids are constantly sold off for more property development, when public transport is gutted and tickets are converted to card-only systems, when micromobility devices are progressively outlawed under the moral panic pretense of "youth hooliganism", when cash is phased out of retail such that children have no legal means of purchasing anything independently? what else do you call it when children are completely barred from sharing space with adults on the internet? if we earnestly believe that children are an oppressed class who require liberation then we must analyse these things using the same language that we analyse all other class dynamics

the novelty of having pets really does never wear off i’ve had my cat for ten years and i still look at him strolling around like can you believe this. a cat. is everyone seeing this. he’s alive he has bones and all. unbelievable

this website is always finding new and exciting ways to prove this image true

stop deactivating

i thought we all agreed we were here forever

i hate the take that people on tumblr are all shut ins who are like kink posers because all they do is kinkpost and don’t go to the fetish club to practice Real Kink. first of all a lot of people on tumblr who kinkpost do practice kink offline they just don’t act haughty and weirdly gatekeepy online about it. secondly there’s a lot of people on here who through a variety of uncontrollable circumstances simply do not have an offline social life and posting online is how they express their sexuality and being weird to them is actually kind of shitty. and lastly i’m not going to get eaten by a dragon or fuck a slime girl in real life. that’s just not feasible.

“there’s an ai tool for that” okay ?? there’s probably an ed sheeran song for it too who gives a fuck

hey did ya'll know that ed sheeran is working on a series of 6 albums named after media player buttons and the first one released last year and the last one is to be released posthumously on the day that he dies

That doesn't sound right but I don't know enough about Ed Sheeran to prove otherwise