hell or highwater

               mundungus  fletcher  was  a  lot  of  things  —  but  ariel  would  rather  sleep  with  lupin  then  say  he  was  an  enabler  .   ironic  ,   of  course  (  he  was  probably  one  of  the  only  people  in  the  castle  who  could  out-drink  her  )  ,   but  ariel  had  learned  in  the  last  year  that  dung  wasn’t  just  good  at  drowning  in  firewhiskey  —  he  was  damned  good  at  being  her  friend  .   so  when  ariel  snuck  into  her  favourite  classroom  only  to  come  face-to-face  with  this  ,   her  friend  ,   a  bottle  of  firewhiskey  in  her  hands  ,   she  couldn’t  help  but  swear  underneath  her  breath  .   even  just  the  sight  of  him  was  enough  to  kill  the  mood  ,   the  need  to  drink  .   which  sounds  like  a  bad  thing  ,   maybe  ,   but  was  one  of  ariel’s  favourite  things  about  him  .   he  looked  after  her  ,   even  when  she  told  him  she  didn’t  need  it  .   ❛  fancy  seeing  you  here  ,   ❜   she  smiled  ,   not  even  bothering  to  hide  the  bottle  that  hung  by  her  side  .   /   @duhng​

ariel wasn’t the happiest girl he’d come across at hogwarts       .       she was     ,     as the kids say     ,      quite fucking depressed     .       but dung liked her---- cared more about her than he did most people these days    .     watching someone desperately try to keep the pieces together was admirable      ,      she was admirable      ,       but he rarely told her such      .        his beliefs were evident though in the softness he showed her     .       while the boy’s heart was pure       ,      his mannerisms typically showed the opposite of this     .       he liked to fight and liked to drink-- those weren’t things the pure of heart were known for        .        the blond tucked his harmonica back into his flannel pocket upon seeing her enter      ,        an eyebrow cocking up as he eyed the bottle hanging by her hip    .        ❛        those keep poppin’ up faster than we’re puttin’ ‘em away     ,      kid    .      do i gotta start worryin’?        ❜

         。•  * ☪     her  gaze  flitted  over  the  wizard    ,    noting  that  his  disorganized  appearance  had  nothing  to  do  with  the  possibility  of  running  late  or  the  unfortunate  ailment  known  as  being  upset      .    but  she  supposed     ,     with  subtle  curiosity      ,    that  his  whole      ‘i  can’t  be  bothered  with  appearances  or  manners  because  i’m  fighting  against  the  man  and  all  he  stands  for’    bit  was  a  selling  point  for  his  persona     .     evie  wondered  if  it  was  too  far-fetched  to  call  him  a  prostitute     .  

                             ❛    but  is  it  YOUR  word    ?        ❜

             ❛      or  did  you  steal  it  from  someone  who  couldn’t  pay     ?     .     ❜      

                              god, the kid loved when that silver-tipped weapon of hers was used against him.

                              ❛   oh, THIS word     ?    i earned it the ol’ fashioned way, in a poker game ‘gainst a bishop ----or a priest---- one’a’em catholic fathers     .  ❜       he paused  ,   holding nothing in his hand but gazing upon it like a freshly-washed granny smith.  ❛   looks like a good, honest word too, if y’ can see pass the robbery, exploitation an’ diddlin’ kids .  ❜

      。•  * ☪     ❛  well  isn’t  THAT  an  interesting  development   .  ❜     

he hopped up     ,     shock electrifying his green eyes    .    he tucked the stolen pocket watch into his jacket, removing the incriminating evidence out of sight       .      a sheepish look replaced the fear    ,      a guilty hand running through his locks as he tried to gauge evie’s reaction     . 

                         ❛   look     ,  ❜      he said with a shrug    ,  ❛   i’m a man of my word       .  ❜

                      — if there was one thing that made night rounds more interesting, it was finding students attempting to sneak around past curfew. there was always two or three students that she would catch more often than others - James for example, or even Alice sometimes - but the one she caught the most, was a mister mundungus fletcher, whom she she affectionately called dung. it wasn’t hard to decipher who was talking to themselves in the bathroom, especially with the thick accent and slurring of words, and delphia merely sighed as she opened the door to the lavatory, crossing her arms as she stared down at the drunken student. “dung, how many times am I goin’ to find ya like this?” she said with a sigh, mildly exasperated but still smiling down at the boy

❛     as many times as ya’ come lookin’    ,    what kinda question’s that     ?     ❜     standing up made the boy realize he much preferred the cool and filthy floor tiles to standing     .     he sunk back down     ,    heavy eyes slowly trailing back up to the woman with the crossed-arms    .     ❛     gonna make a safe bet an’ say if you make another round    ,    i’ll be here but slightly less vertical.     ❜    

“…how in the…?” jo was hoping for a goddamn moment of peace in the lav, not a drunkard with a strange affinity for roleplay. “how have you survived this long in life, fletcher? this is embarrassing. you are an embarrassing person.” 

❛     you’re not not right         ,     ❜          he mused      ,       shooting her a half-assed finger gun      .      mundungus rubbed at his face as a smirk faded      ,        trying to force down the creeping nausea      .         ❛     but don’t let me stop ya’ from doin’ your thing      ,       i’m just gonna go hurl in the corner     .      ❜

          。•  * ☪      ❛    figures   ,   ❜    fabian  started   ,   brow  arched  as  he  leaned  lazily  against  the  bathroom  entrance   .     ❛   even  drunk  you  isn’t  wantin’  to  go  home  with  ya    .   ❜     a  smirk  formed  easily  across  his  features   :    there  was  something  mischievous  about  it    ,    something  akin  to  amusement   .    leave  it  to  his  friend  to  get  wasted  in  a  damn  lavatory   .      ❛   alright  ya  drunk  piece  of  shit   ,   c’mon   .   jesus   ,   ya  smell   .   what  is  that   ?   piss   ?    ❜

❛     i’ll have ya’ know, drunk me knows that other drunk me knows that    ...    ❜   he paused, not coherent enough to keep an elaborate joke running     .      ❛    well he knows somethin’    ,    and that’s that i’m a catch     .    ❜        he was mumbling incoherently    ,    hardly catching onto fabian’s words as he tried to walk forward and away from his buddy before he yelled    .     ❛     an’ fuck you   !    i smell n’ taste like peach trees      !    ❜

                。•  * ☪    he  had  the  worst  luck  with  bathrooms   .   every  single  time  the  poor  kid  had  to  pee   ,   there  was  SOMETHING  in  the  way    ,    whether  it  be  a  perverted  ghost  or  a  drunken  housemate    .   clearly   ,   he  just  needed  to  stop  drinking  water  altogether   .    ❛   uh  oh   ,   ❜    roen  cringed   ,   unsure  of  what  to  do  as  he  rushed  forward  with  his  arms  wide  open   ;   worst  case  scenario   ,    dung  would  fall  on  the  lanky  wizard  and  break  one   ,   if  not  several  of  his  bones   ;   or  best  case  scenario    ,    he  would  engulf  the  older  student  in  an  unwelcomed  hug  and  potentially  get  punched  in  the  process    .  alternatively   ,   he  could  look  at  though  he  were  doing  an  interpretive  dance   .   luckily  dung  was  possibly  too  drunk  to  remember   .    ❛     too  much  chocolate  milk   ,   huh   ?    ❜    he  joked  awkwardly  while  trying  to  keep  him  upright  .

❛     ya’ know that shit your folks nursed ya’ on     ?     ‘cept i poured with a lighter hand     .     ❜     a half-cocked grin tugged at the right of his lips     ,     amused at the boy’s presence     .   dung was a fan in spite of what a constant stream of insults and jests would lead the younger boy to believe      .     he tried walking on his own     ,     pushing away from the wall with the intention to use the momentum to get his feet going     .     instead, the drunken child’s feet tangled with roen’s and sent dung ----- full dead weight ----- crashing into roen     .      they both stumbled into another wall     ,     the boys heads conking together furiously as roen was suddenly caught between a skull and a hard place    .   ❛     sorry princess   ,    that        ---- BELCH-----       might leave a bump    .     ❜