🪷Ducko🐤

(Just the usual disclaimer that English is not my first language, so I’m really sorry if some phrases sound strange or if I use words incorrectly. I usually write in my native language first, and then I try my best, spending hours with a bunch of translators and using my school knowledge to put together an understandable text...🥹i'm really nervous because the more text I write, the higher the chances of making really silly mistakes…)

So, the sketch in the top right corner with Ragatha and Caine, and the one with Caine, Pomni, and the abstraction, are about going through a heavy sense of guilt. When you have a kind heart (and I believe Caine's heart is very kind), guilt can be absolutely crushing, and not to mention he is still learning to understand human emotions and is still exploring his own emotions. Thinking about this hurts me so much, which is why I drew these scenes

For a sketch with Ragatha, I imagine a scene where Caine comes to talk to Ragatha one-on-one. This takes place probably a few months after ep 9. (I actually think Caine needs to have a sincere, one-on-one talk with each of the humans, and there are things the humans should apologize to Caine for, too). It's hard to say why I chose Ragatha, maybe it's because she seems to have been the first human to enter the circus who isn't Caine's creator, or maybe it's because she and Caine share similar trauma. I imagine a scene where he apologizes to Ragatha i but the guilt is so overwhelming that he breaks down and, through tears, says he believes he doesn't actually deserve forgiveness. Ragatha really needed to hear this apology from him, to hear that someone who hurt her is deeply sorry, unlike her mother. But Caine is also her dear friend, and she doesn't want him to hate himself. Knowing he needs to let it all out, she gently holds his hands, listens, and tries to help him steady his breathing. They are both an absolute emotional mess, but they will feel better after this.

Next, that sketch with Pomni...I imagine that Pomni and Kinger spend a lot of time in The Aquarium to cope with the feeling of losing loved ones. But Caine visits The Aquarium very rarely. When Pomni notices him, he is sitting on a bench in the shadows, trying to look as small and quiet as possible. He looks away as if he feels ashamed to be there. Pomni doesn't know whether he only visits the abstracted when others aren't looking, or if he feels he has no right to come to them. He always sits on the bench and never approaches the aquariums themselves. Pomni still has complicated feelings toward him, but she doesn't want to leave anyone alone anymore, so she tries to talk. I don't remember the username, but I read someone once saying that Caine’s perception of abstraction is similar to how a child perceives death if no one explained to them what death is. I also have my own thought that Caine's perception of abstractions before ep 9 shows how helpless he actually feels around humans. From his perspective, they are the ones making the choice to stay with him or leave, to abstract, and he can only accept this choice.

I imagine that Pomni and Caine will start meeting in The Aquarium sometimes to quietly talk about all these feelings. Pomni will learn what abstraction meant to Caine in the past, and Caine will be able to better understand and realize the feeling of grief by learning about Pomni’s grief over Jax. Sometimes I imagine them returning from The Aquarium to the Сircus, walking slowly and quietly, and holding hands for a while. At some point, Pomni realizes that Caine is ready to approach the aquarium glass. I imagine her gently placing a hand on his back to guide him to the aquarium. And finally… he finds the strength to talk to the abstractions. To me, it seems like it would feel like a confession...And Pomni is there because if Caine were left alone with all those all-seeing eyes of the abstractions looking at him, he would break.

Next, I want to talk about the sketches with Caine and Kinger… I feel like it will take some time for Kinger to start viewing Caine not just as his creation, but also as his son, but once he accepts it, he will do everything to fix the mistakes of the past and help Caine overcome his traumas. The sketch where Caine and Kinger are creating a geometric shape together reminds me of the scene from episode 9 where Kinger taught Pomni how to create objects. But here, it’s not about teaching, it’s more like therapy. I think deep down Caine is still terrified of disappointing his creator and not being good enough, especially now that he doesn't have the power of the blue AI. But Kinger is right there beside him, gently holding his shaking hands and telling him that no matter what geometric shape Caine creates, Kinger won't judge him, and that he can just be himself.

In the second sketch Caine is telling Kinger how his day went. I think having someone who listens is incredibly important for Caine because, in all the years leading up to the finale, there was no such person in his life. I also think that due to severe anxiety and guilt, he will heavily suppress and mask his emotions after the finale, and I want Kinger to show him that it's okay to express emotions and that he doesn't have to be afraid to be himself. I think Caine is a bit overwhelmed with positive emotions here and he is close to blue-screening, so Kinger gently rubs his palm to ground him emotionally.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how Caine, who loves humans so much and tries so hard to understand them, has probably never heard a real human heartbeat. When I think about it, I feel so many emotions. I imagined a scene where Zooble would add a heartbeat to Zooble`s avatar to feel more comfortable in digital body. Caine experiences mixed emotions because of this, as it’s another thing he didn’t think of in the past and failed to give to the humans. But besides these complex, conflicting emotions, he also feels curiosity. Zooble sighs but lets him listen to their heartbeat, and… oh. Caine doesn't understand what he feels… It is gentle, and beautiful, and somehow sad, as if he had been in the dark and someone handed him the warm light of a candle, as if he had missed this sound for so long. Caine quietly asks Zooble if he can stay like this for just a little longer. He probably falls asleep like that.

Next, I want to talk about the sketch with Pomni, Caine, and a big plush bee. I know that Pomni doesn't like being touched, and I imagine she has days when she especially dislikes any touch. On days like that, she and Caine somehow came up with their own little ritual: if Caine needs comfort , they lie down together on a pillow or a large plush toy, or they sit next to each other holding the plush bee toy without actually touching each other and just talk quietly.

Caine is actually having a conversation with someone, for a start! And it's clearly an entertaining one at that. He isn't overacting or doing a bit, he's just telling Ragatha a funny story. He's leaning in, and responding to the fact she's laughing. It feels like he gets bolder as he gets closer to the punchline of whatever he's saying: his movements get juuuust a little bigger, without going Full Cartoony Caine.

He's never, ever just chatted with a member of the circus before, and it shows how much he's growing. They're equals at this table, not a showman and an unwilling audience. And in return for calming down and actually trying to engage with the humans, he gets a genuine laugh! He's fufiling his purpose of making someone happy by just being himself.

And Ragatha for her part is getting some attention that doesn't involve her being brutalised, belittled or dismissed! Caine clearly wants to be talking to her, his body language shows that. He's turned towards her, looking right in her eyes (I'll stop before my rarepair shipping heart gets away from me)...

Think about how few times in Ragatha or Suzie's life she was actually included. Think about how many light, fun, jokey conversations she's been involved in. Think about how many times someone worked towards making her smile.

Ragatha's also not entirely reliant on Pomni for her social life any more. She might not ever bond with Zooble or Gangle as deeply as she might want (I love them both but they give me vibes of a couple verrrry wrapped up in themselves, especially if they can fuck now) but she gets a buddy in Caine that she feels happy chatting to one on one. Away from Jax's bullying/Caine's overbearing God Complex era, she can build her confidence and enjoy being around other people.