Diet Pepsi

i don't want to go to work tomorrow i want to hang out with my close personal friends shane hollander and ilya rozanov

i dont like when shane is characterized as being a color coded spreadsheet super organized and neat guy. that's not him. he's in a pressure cooker of his own design but he pays people to do the admin for him. he pays for an interior designer and a stylist and a perfectly balanced meal delivery service. his mom manages his calendar. shane wants so badly to outsource control to someone else who can tell him how to be shane hollander. he does not have a fucking color coded spreadsheet

Enough about sadness and the closet! I think Shane Hollander is an absolute ball on vacation. I think he likes that vacation is an organized time to relax, sanctioned off from training and working and winning. When he actually lets loose, like when they go to Ibiza after the wedding, he’s the guy in the bar who’s like “gimme a drink with a little umbrella in it Ilya, like in the movies” and he and Ilya are the type who would meet like a random couple in their hotel and talk to them at the bar for hours and see them in the lobby and be like “oh look it’s you! Enjoy the sunshine!” And Shane would post a screenshot of the weather app showing 80 degrees and sunny every day to instagram and be like “when will it end amirite?” And he’s got the sunscreen and they’re on a gay beach and he realizes he can put sunscreen on Ilya’s back and they’re just a couple guys on vacation with other apathetic gays and for the first time he blends in while being his real self! He’s got so many patterned shirts and tiny shorts for Ilya to ogle him in! He wants to get fucked every day but he also wants to go on excursions to waterfalls and shit! Think of their inside jokes from vacation! For months into the next season they’re like “that guy with the penguin statue is coming to get you” and nobody knows what the fuck they’re talking about! Shane wants to see the world with Ilya outside of hockey rinks! And maybe inside. Ilya there’s a game in Switzerland just over the border I think we can make it—

ⓘ Tip If you feel unfulfilled by how you spent your time today, you can stay up late to try to combat the sense of dissatisfaction. This will ensure that you feel even worse tomorrow.

ao3 down but i keep getting the most fantastic looking hollanov recs on my fyp 😭

MAKE CONCERTS CHEAP AGAIN

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance! Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid

They should make a content label for ai posts like they do for mature content so I dont ever have to fucking look at it