DRRR!! Secret Santa

He shouldn’t take the bakeries for granted.

Not that he ever did, but sometimes you forget to be grateful for the little things in life.

Such as the beautifully made cakes which were neatly frosted, elegantly decorated and most importantly—

Premade.

What made him think he could do this…?

The time was— who knows? Fuckin’ early, that’s for sure (like, 4 AM, maybe?).

It was late enough for it to still be dark outside, but early enough for his friend-turned-girlfriend Erika Karisawa to still be sound asleep in their shared room.

And because it was so early, Kyohei Kadota didn’t dare turn on the lights to the kitchen, lest he alert her to his attempt at a christmas surprise.

Using headphones, he listened to this video on his laptop about how to make christmas cake— he had this recipe printed out, but figured watching someone do it would help him through the process.

So as carefully as he could, he measured out his ingredients (that he bought specifically for this-!), using the glow of the laptop to see (‘Note to self: don’t ever do this again’), and pretty easily put the ingredients together (save for when he missed the bowl, and got flour on the counter, and he then cursed—).

But here’s where he came across an issue that he previously hadn’t considered.

There was no way in hell he was going to hand whisk eggs for that a whole eight to ten minutes.

But the noise of the hand mixer was sure to wake Karisawa up.

So now he had to figure out what to do.

‘Should I….? No….? Yes?? I mean… Hand mixing it…..? That’s so….. No…. I barely have time for that….. The bathroom has an outlet….? That’s a horrible idea what if she has to go to the bathroom— What if you had just bought a cake— all of this coulda been avoided. No time to berate myself though, I guess so…. Ah…. how far away from the room can I get….?’

So with the chain of thoughts, he came to a conclusion.

He didn’t hate himself enough to not use the hand mixer.

Ultimately, he decided that the “best course of action” was to stand in the corner, as far away from their shared bedroom— (listen the kitchen isn’t near their room, but he doesn’t know how loud the hand mixer is, and, well, sound travels) as the appliance’s cord would allow him, and try and use his body to help with muffling the sound.

Needless to say—

“Aaah?~ “ the door to their room opened. He knew, and he didn’t have to even look. “What could possibly be going on in my kitchen at this hour~ “ While her voice was tired, he could hear her commonly-used, mischievous tone.

— that didn’t quite work, did it?

He chose not to stop the hand mixer, you know, because well. He was caught, so he might as well get these eggs beat— let’s just not let them over mix…..

He felt some sort of impending doom as her voice got closer, if he had to be honest.

“Is it aliens~ Are there aliens in my kitchen coming here to reveal themselves?!” she chirped. How can a voice that tired be that excited? “I bet their spaceship broke and they needed to reconvene in our kitchen~ Woah…..” She then paused. “….it could just be Santa…. I mean- It’s Christmas… I think…. “ She kept walking, and he could tell she was grinning. “Is it Christmas or Christmas Eve? Do you think-” a gasp “What if Santa’s an alien?! It’d make sense-!! How else do you get gifts all around the world that fast?!” But she laughed, and jabbed him in the sides (wait when did she get behind him?!), which caused him to tense up, yell a loud ‘Fuck!’ and very nearly drop the eggs and beaters. However, because he only very nearly, and did not actually drop them, he sighed, extremely relieved.

“Good morning, Dotachin!” She grinned, real wide, and he meekly replied.

“‘Mornin’…” but he couldn’t help but smile a little himself. Caught red-handed. Whoops

“I think it’s a lot better to see you in here, than aliens—”  “It’s even better to see you in bed, asleep, though, so tell me, Dotachin…. What are you doing.?”

He turns off the beater.

“Oh you know…… stuff….”

“What kinda stuff?”

“Corner stuff” “Naturally.”

“……”

“……”

“……”

“….Dotachiiiiiiiiin-.” “Ah…. I was….. Tryina’ make a cake, see…? “ “I cannot see, actually, because you haven’t turned the lights on!” But she couldn’t help but snicker. “Of all things to do this early in the morning—!” She shuffled away to turn on the light, and both needed a good minute to adjust. Kyohei looked at his eggs, briefly, decided that they were done, and so he shuffled over to the kitchen counter and put the eggs and hand mixer down. Erika looked over at the laptop.

“Ooooh…. Dotachin was trying to be nice and make homemade Christmas cake! Silly guy shoulda just made it with me and that woulda been more fun!”

“Ah…? Do you wanna do that?”

“Duh-!”

Kadota couldn’t help but laugh, as he went over to Erika and gave her a small kiss on the lips.

“Thanks, Karisawa.”

“I got you to thank for trying so hard just for me this early in the morning—” “I got you to thank for giving me somethin’ to try so hard for—”

And Erika gave him a hard, menacing stare resulting in Kyohei growing a tad bit nervous.

“Wh-what’d I do.—”

“How can you say something so perfect! How can you be so perfect!” “Huh? I’m not perfect-.”

“But Dotachin, you are—! I’m so lucky to just be with you-…. “

“Hey hey, I’m lucky and more than happy to be with you too-”

“You’re doing it again!” “Doing what again?”

“That!”

“What?” “Kyohei, do you really know how much you mean to me?” “…. More than I could ever realize, huh?”

“…. That means you realize, then, yeah?” “…….. I guess.”

“So do you realize we’ve gone into an infinite cycle-!?” “If I do, then wouldn’t the cycle stop?”

“But if you realize it stops, then it’ll keep going-!” “………….Let’s go back to the cake-”

“Yeah!”

And so they mixed in the flour (folded in, actually), along with the butter and milk into the eggs, lined the cake tin, poured the batter into the tin. Then they put that in the oven to bake, hulled the strawberries,  cut all but eight of them for the top of the cake, and finally made some syrup (because the recipe calls for that, so let’s not skimp on that…. Though to buy cherry brandy just for this…).

All they had to do now is whip the cream, which was an easy task in itself (just watch and make sure it doesn’t go to butter, but it really shouldn’t go further than the “soft peak stage”)

“That looks good, Dotachin, I’d stop there.”  And so he did, and she took a bit on her finger to taste. “Mm! That tastes nice, here, Dotachin, you try!” she scooped up some more on her finger and brought some to his mouth, which he opened.

‘Cept at the last second, she booped his nose.

“Whoops~” she laughed, eating the rest off her finger.

“Hey…” he smirked playfully, taking a dallop of the whipped cream and smeared it on her cheek.  “Now there’s more on you than me-” and he grinned triumphantly.

“…Do you know what this means, Dotachin?”

“Oh no-….”

“Oh yes-”

Deadlock.

And suddenly.

Total.

War.

A grab for the bowl and for as much whipped cream as they could.

Cream flew.

Overhead, underhead.

On their heads, even.

Somehow, “A little goes a long way.” really applies when you’re chucking whipped cream around your kitchen at 4:49 in the morning.

It was over as quickly as it started.

“Ah shit…..”

“….Whoops”

“Did we even have this much?”

“………….. Who knows anymore.”

“Well, maybe we should buy a cake now-”

“Yeah but we gotta clean up-”

“…Well, maybe we should buy a cake now-”

“It’s like 5 AM, no one’s open-”

“ I bet someone’s open.”

“I’m getting the mop and bucket.”

“I bet we can order one online and then pick it up later~ I’ll do that-”

“…. You made this mess too you know-” “Yeah but you were the one who wanted to make the cake and so rudely woke me up with your ‘corner stuff’.”

His face went red, and she snickered, then walked over to him and planted a kiss on his lips.

“The Second Years this year have decided to do a Secret Santa between classes 2-A, 2-B, and 2-C.” The male classroom representative announces from the front of the room. “We have names from all three classes split between baskets, and you will take one when the basket comes to you. Price limits on gifts is 1200¥, or within that range. You’ll need to bring in the gift the last day of classes before the holiday.”

“Remember, because it is a Secret Santa, you can’t tell anyone who you have!” The female representative reminds them cheerfully. “On the last day of classes we’ll have baskets outside of each classroom, and you can simply drop off the gift before homeroom. The gifts will be passed out at the end of the day by the class representatives.”

The representatives don’t ask if there are questions, and no one in the class asks any. The basket is handed off to the first student in the row, and it begins its trip around the classroom. By the time the basket reaches Shizuo in his corner of the classroom, there aren’t that many names left.

As Shizuo takes a name from the basket, he wonders who it’ll be. If he’s lucky, it’ll be someone from his class, who he can sort of figure something out for. If he’s unlucky, it’ll be someone from one of the other classes, or worse.

Name taken, the basket goes to the next student. Shizuo takes a deep breath, and tells himself he can’t get mad at whoever he gets. There’s no trading, and because who he has is supposed to be a secret, he absolutely cannot give any tells to who he has. So he braces himself and looks at the name of the student he’s shopping for.

And, well, if Shizuo does crack his desk again, it’s not noticeable, right? And he didn’t exactly give away who he has. After all, there are a lot of students in their year that piss him off. It could be anybody.

—-

“Hey! Shizuo!” Shinra’s calling him as he’s leaving for the day. Today’s a lucky day – Shizuo doesn’t have to stay after school for detention, and he doesn’t have any community service that day either.

Shizuo turns to face Shinra with slight reluctance, not wanting to deal with Shinra’s boisterous attitude at the moment. Really, all he wants to do is go home and put his secret Santa person out of his mind.

“What is it Shinra?” He says instead of telling him to piss off. Even if he told Shinra to leave him alone, Shinra wouldn’t. After being what could loosely be referred to as friends since elementary school, Shizuo has learned there is no way of getting rid of Shinra until Shinra wants to leave.

“I heard about who you got for our class’s gift exchange!” Shinra chirps cheerily, walking beside Shizuo as they leave the school grounds together. Shizuo freezes for the barest of moments, before continuing on. “And I was willing to give you some gift ideas if you needed them! Which of course you do! I mean, of course, if you’re actually going to get them a gift at all.”

“What the fuck do you mean?” Shizuo growls before he can stop himself. “Of course I’m going to get them a fucking gift, that’s the whole point.”

“Well, yeah.” Shinra blinks, taken aback like Shizuo’s statement confused him, before shrugging and rolling with it. “I just figured that because of who you picked, you wouldn’t want to get a gift.”

“You don’t know who I picked.” Shizuo says, though the statement falls flat, as if he’s unsure whether Shinra really knows who he has or not.

“Yeah, yeah! Whatever you say, Shizuo-kun.” Shinra waves him off, like he’s dismissing the conversation as well. “Still! If you need gift ideas, he’s been really into mythology lately, especially Nordic. Good thing it’s not Celtic, or I’d think he’d be after my darling Celty!”

Shizuo grumbles, and then is happy that they’ve reached the street where the paths separate, because it means he doesn’t have to hear Shinra rave about his maybe-fake-maybe-not girlfriend for the third time that day.

‘Mythology books’. Hah. What a laugh. He doesn’t need help finding a gift for his secret Santa.

Shinra doesn’t even know who he has anyways.

—-

Shizuo had told himself he would get the shopping for his secret Santa out of the way immediately, before too much time had passed. Ideally, he had wanted to get the shopping out of the way by the 13th.

Realistically, this unfortunately did not happen.

Which is why he’s at the mall, the day before they’re supposed to take in their gifts, trying to find something, anything, for his secret Santa.

Of course, thankfully, this is the most stress he’s encountered all week, considering that his biggest source of stress hasn’t been in school for some reason. Not that Shizuo cares, but it is suspicious. He might have to track him down at some point during break to see what he’s been up to. Nothing good, undoubtedly.

Shizuo is perusing the bookstore in hopes of inspiration (he is not taking Shinra’s advice, Shinra’s advice was stupid, besides Shinra doesn’t know who he has) when he runs into the flea bastard.

“Ah, Shizu-chan!” The asshole greets with a shit-eating grin. “I would have never expected to see you here. After all, doesn’t one need a basic level of reading to understand books? Oh, or are you after some picture books? That’s probably the highest level your protozoan brain can understand anyways.”

“Izaya-kun.” Shizuo growls in response, clenching his fingers tight into a fist. They’re in a bookstore, he tells himself as he does his best to restrain his anger. He can’t cause any property damage this close to Christmas or his mom will get upset. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Such foul language!” He admonishes instead of answering the question. “Mind the children, Shizu-chan! Didn’t your mother ever teach you not to swear around impressionable kids?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Shizuo swears again, because he can, and because, “I don’t see any damn kids.”

Then, a smaller voice pops up.

“What does fuck mean, Iza-nii?” It’s followed by another voice quickly and excitedly chanting,

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”

Standing with the bastard are two little kids, wearing matching outfits and hats – one with an M and the other with a K on it. They also are wearing little backpacks, both of which have leashes leading from them up to where Izaya’s holding them.

Izaya sighs, like Shizuo’s the one who’s personally offended him this time instead of Izaya’s mere existence offending everyone alive.

“Meet my sisters, Shizu-chan.” Izaya introduces. “Mairu,” He indicates to the kid wearing the hat with the K, who’s still chanting fuck like no tomorrow, “and Kururi.” He indicates to the kid wearing the hat with the M on it.

“Nuh-uh!” Mairu denies, stopping her chanting to point to the hat she’s wearing. “I’m Kururi, Iza-nii!”

“And I’m Mairu.” Kururi nods in agreement, or whatever their names are. Shizuo doesn’t really care.

“Whatever you say.” Izaya waves them off without humoring them. “They’re identical twins, so who knows. Maybe I am wrong. Maybe Mom and Dad mixed them up at birth and we’ll never know who’s really who.”

“That’s awful asshole.” Shizuo snaps at Izaya. “You can’t just say something like that to your sisters.”

“Might as well start the existential crisis early.” Izaya shrugs nonchalantly in response. “They were going to come up with it one day, no harm breaking it sooner rather than later.”

The twins are just staring at the two of them, watching the back and forth banter of the two teens.

Eventually, one of them – Shizuo doesn’t remember nor does he care – interrupts, tugging at Izaya’s shirt sleeve.

“Iza-nii,” She whines. “I thought you said you were going to take us to see Santa!”

And it must be Kukuri, or whatever the K sibling’s name is, because the other girl starts chanting “Santa!” over and over again like that will hurry them up.

“Well I must get going,” Izaya says as if taking his sisters to see Santa is a chore. He starts to leave, the twins bouncing along ahead of him. Then, the asshole calls back, “You must get me the name of your trainer, Shizu-chan! This is the longest I’ve seen you go without breaking anything!”

And, okay, yeah, he might’ve flipped the entire table of Teen Bestsellers. But only the table was damaged! None of the books. That Narita book totally had a bent cover before Shizuo flipped the table. Definitely.

—-

[Heiwajima Shizuo: what do you get someone for christmas?]

[Celty Sturluson: What do they like? That’s always a good place to start!]

[Heiwajima Shizuo: i don’t know.]

[Celty Sturluson: Who’s it for?]

[Heiwajima Shizuo: it’s for our class’s secret santa exchange]

[Heiwajima Shizuo: i can’t say who it’s for. it’s not in the spirit of things if i do.]

[Celty Sturluson: Ah.]

[Celty Sturluson: Well, candy’s always a good fall back!]

[Celty Sturluson: If it’s a girl, a stuffed animal probably couldn’t hurt either!]

[Heiwajima Shizuo: …]

[Heiwajima Shizuo: you’re getting shinra candy again aren’t you]

[Celty Sturluson: !!!]

[Celty Sturluson: N-No!]

[Celty Sturluson: What would give you that idea?!]

[Heiwajima Shizuo: no reason]

[Heiwajima Shizuo: even if you gave shinra candy for the umpteenth time in a row he’ll love it celty]

[Heiwajima Shizuo: he’s weird like that]

—-

Shopping is hard. Especially for someone you barely know. Shizuo makes three laps around the mall, getting more and more frazzled with each loop, as he wracks and wracks his brain for gift ideas. Time is ticking down, and he can’t help but get more and more frustrated with each lap he makes.

It’s the fourth or fifth lap, and he’s infinitely more frustrated than he was on the fourth lap, when he runs into Izaya again, this time down one small child. He doesn’t look panicked, per se, but there is a definite edge of composure that has been lost that Shizuo is used to seeing on the other teen.

“Mairu!” He’s calling out as he drags the other girl by the hand down the strip. “Mairu! Where are you?”

Not looking where he’s going, the asshole fucking runs into Shizuo.

“What?” Izaya says after he runs into Shizuo, confused when he hits the equivalent of a brick wall. Then, like it’s Shizuo’s fault, the flea has the audacity to accuse him, “Watch where you’re going Shizu-chan.”

Izaya attempts to brush past Shizuo with his sister, but Shizuo catches him by the wrist before he can leave.

“You should be the one watching where they’re going Izaya-kun.” Shizuo drags out the flea’s name, lifting up his fist instinctively to punch him in his smartass mouth. “Don’t you think you should be apologizing to me?”

“Apologize? For what?” Izaya tugs at the grip Shizuo has on his arm, but can’t break free. “I have nothing to apologize for. And, if you’ll excuse me, I am in the middle of something important.”

Shizuo’s about to say something back, maybe something like yeah, the flea’s in the middle of something – the middle of getting punched – but someone else jumps into the conversation.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” Shizuo and Izaya crane their heads behind them to be greeted by none other than,

“Ah, Shishizaki-senpai!” Izaya crows, almost happily. “What a coincidence running into you here!”

“It’s not school hours,” Shishizaki ignores Izaya for his own lamentation instead. “Do I seriously have to be separating you in public too? I’m not your mother.”

Both of them are about to say something, but Shishizaki cuts them off.

“Whatever. I don’t care about your reasons.” He waves his hand to silence them. “I was just looking for Izaya anyway. Got something you lost.”

And the third-year pushes a small girl towards Izaya and Shizuo.

“Kuru-nee! Iza-nii!” She whines, throwing her arms around her sister.

“Don’t know how she got lost, don’t care how she got lost.” Shishizaki says. “Keep a better eye on your siblings next time.” He eyes Izaya and Shizuo before suggesting, “Better yet, why don’t you just leave already. Best way not to lose them again. And if you do, they won’t be my problem.”

“Well, if Shishizaki-senpai says so, then I suppose I have no choice but to listen.” Izaya shrugs, speaking as though he has no choice in the matter – which really, Shizuo knows, either of them could be petty to stick here, and Shizuo is feeling petty enough to do so. But Shishizaki coughs and gives him a pointed look.

“Look,” He informs Shizuo when he still hasn’t released the flea. “I don’t care what you two do in your free time. If you want to beat him up on your own time, so be it. All I’m saying is at least have the decency not to do so in front of his sisters. They’re too young to watch you beat their brother to a pulp. Wait five years, at least then they’ll be able to find entertainment in it.”

“Harsh.” But there’s no real offense in Izaya’s tone when he speaks up.

Reluctantly, Shizuo releases the flea, who releases his sister’s hand long enough to rub at his wrist as if Shizuo has done any real damage to it, then he grabs both girls hands and starts hauling them towards the mall exit.

As they go, Shizuo and Shishizaki can hear Mairu crowing,

“Shishi-nii is so amazing Iza-nii!”

“Yeah, yeah, you can tell me about it later.” Izaya responds sarcastically. “First, understand that if you ever run off like that again you’re getting grounded for a week.”

“Boo!!”

And then they’re gone.

Shishizaki is still there, and Shizuo knows that a secret Santa gift is supposed to be, well, a secret, but he is desperate for ideas. Celty didn’t really pan out, and there’s no way he’s taking any advice Shinra gives him. Besides, it’s not like Shishizaki is in his year, so he can’t tell whoever he has what he’s getting them.

So, he bites the bullet and asks.

“Um, Shishizaki-senpai?” He asks before the upper year can leave. “Can I get your help with something?”

“Depends.” Shishizaki says hesitantly. “If you’re asking for help beating up Izaya, as much as I’d like to I can’t help with that.”

“No. Um, our year is doing a secret Santa gift exchange, and I wanted to ask you for help for gift ideas.” It’s a stretch, but Shishizaki might be the best person for him to ask.

“I can try?” Shishizaki replies, not very confidently. “I don’t know many of the kids in your year, but I can make an attempt.”

“I think you might know this one.”

And Shizuo tells him.

And Shishizaki’s eyes light up.

“I think I know the best gift.” He tells Shizuo.

—-

His wrapping of the gift isn’t great, especially because he refused to let his mom just wrap the gift for him. Shizuo did let her walk him through how to wrap gifts a few times, watching like a hawk as she wrapped some of Kasuka’s gifts to demonstrate. He even practiced a few times on things like his textbooks before wrapping the actual gift.

Still, at least the gift is wrapped, and it doesn’t look like a completely failure when he drops it off in the basket outside of the classroom as he heads to homeroom. Everyone’s abuzz about the gift exchange, and the class representatives have had to shoo a couple lurkers away from the baskets when some students had tried to sneak glances to see who had who.

Once the gifts are turned in and class starts, so starts the long wait to the end of the day for the students to see what they received. The anticipation of the gifts, not to mention that it’s the last school day before break, seems to make the time pass even more slowly than usual. It seems to take twice as long for the bell to ring to dismiss students to lunch than it normally does.

“I thought we were supposed to turn in the Secret Santa gifts before homeroom?” Shizuo asks Shinra, when he sees the other student pull a wrapped gift out of his desk.

“I did!” Shinra cheerily informs Shizuo. “It’s just that Izaya and I exchange Christmas gifts too, so this one’s for him!”

“You’re joking.” Shizuo says flatly, and Shinra merely blinks at him in confusion.

“No?” He says, pausing in thought for a moment before coming to the conclusion, “Oh! I’m sorry, I never even thought to ask if you wanted to join in our gift exchange.”

Of course, that’s not what Shizuo’s upset about, but Shinra has always been one to miss the point of things.

“Happy Christmas.” The flea interrupts whatever Shizuo would have wanted to say by announcing his presence by dropping a gift wrapped in snowman paper on Shinra’s desk. There’s three candy canes taped to the gift, and at least a dozen more poorly drawn ones littering the wrapping put in the ballpark of the snowmen’s stick hands.

Seeing Shizuo and Shinra’s bewildered looks at the gift, Izaya unnecessarily elaborates, “My sisters insisted on helping to wrap it.”

“I can see!” Shinra agrees, picking up the gift and flipping it over in his hands, inspecting it. “How old are they again?”

“Five.” Izaya says, like five is the most terrible age to be. “Six in February.” Shinra nods absently like he was listening to Izaya but Shizuo’s pretty sure he isn’t listening at all. Izaya swipes his gift off the desk and makes his exit before Shizuo can so much as raise his voice at him.

“Later Shinra, Shizu-chan.” Izaya bids farewell to them and is gone to wherever he lurks for lunch on the daily.

After lunch, the rest of the day passes as slowly as the morning. Each class is torture as the clock ticks ever nearer to the anticipated gift swapping and release for break.

Then, at last, the final bell rings and the class representatives announce they’ll be passing out gifts. As they split the gifts and get ready to pass them out, they tell the students to wait until everyone has a gift before they open theirs. Then, the representatives each pass out half the gifts to the class. It’s the female representative – Shizuo can never remember her name – that hands him his gift, giving him a shy smile.

“Happy Christmas, Heiwajima-kun.” She tells him, setting the gift on his desk before hurrying to the next student.

“Happy Christmas.” He says back even though she’s gone, and inspects the gift. Shizuo wants to shake it, to get an idea of what’s inside, but he’s afraid that if it’s something fragile it might break. And then he thinks, who the hell would give him something breakable. Still, he doesn’t shake it for the one-percent chance that whoever was his secret Santa did.

As the representatives finish passing out the gifts, the male representative from one of the other classes hurries in and starts whispering to the representatives. They all are frowning, and Shizuo wonders what’s going on.

“Did anyone not turn in a Secret Santa gift?” The male representative addresses the class. Everyone in the class turns and mutters to one another, shrugging, but no one raises their hand to identify themselves as the one who didn’t hand in a gift.

“Please,” The female representative asks. “If you forgot, or didn’t have the money to spend, that’s fine, but please come forward if you didn’t hand in a gift. We currently have a student in one of the other classes who hasn’t received a gift.”

Still, no one comes forward, so the representatives shake their heads, and the other class’s representative disappears, probably to meet up with the other class, or his fellow representative.

“All right!” The female representative of Shizuo’s class says with as much cheeriness as one can after finding out one of the students did not receive a gift. “You may open your gifts now!”

Shizuo looks at the nice wrapping on his gift, and wonders if it was the female class representative who had gotten it for him. She had seemed like she was nervous giving it to him, but a lot of the female students are nervous around him… Still, he takes much more care unwrapping his gift than his fellow classmates. His mother has always told him and Kasuka to be careful unwrapping gifts so they can reuse the paper, and Shizuo isn’t about to stop that simply because she isn’t here. Not only that, but because he’s fairly certain that it was the female class representative who got him the gift, and he doesn’t want to damage her precise wrapping of his gift. He carefully peels off the tape holding the candy cane on the wrapping, before undoing the tape at the edges.

Under the snowman wrapping paper is a box, and in the box are several different stress balls of all shapes and sizes. Some are shaped as animals, some are solid colors. There’s even a cow one, that’s rocking back and forth as he pulls the stress balls out to look at them. It’s a thoughtful gift, even though in Shizuo’s past experience he’s torn through all stress balls he’s tried using before.

Still, he can set these aside as one of the most thoughtful gifts he’s gotten from someone who’s not his family.

—-

“Wow! I didn’t think you’d actually go through with it!” Shinra accosts him as soon as he’s through the school gates.

“What are you talking about now Shinra?” Shizuo sighs. He just wants to get home and enjoy his break. If he’s lucky, he can turn on the kotatsu and enjoy some enka on the TV for a little while until his mom gets home.

“You know, not getting Izaya a gift!” Shinra chirps. “Seeing as you had his name, and he’s the only one out of the entire second year that didn’t receive a gift!”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Shizuo snaps. “I didn’t have the flea’s name.”

“Of course you did!” Shinra insists. “Why else wouldn’t he get a gift?”

“How should I know?” Shizuo clenches his hand in a fist and resists the urge to deck Shinra in the face. “I didn’t have him.”

“Then who did you have?” Shinra retaliates, tone disbelieving. He’s fully convinced himself that Shizuo had Izaya’s name.

“Sharaku-chan’s.” Shizuo says immediately. “You know, the girl who’s in the martial arts club with Shishizaki-senpai? I think her name is Mika-something.”

“Oh really?” Shinra still seems skeptical. “What did you get her then?”

“The autobiography of some martial artist she likes,” Shizuo throws his hands up in exasperation. “And no, I don’t remember the name. Shishizaki-senpai helped me pick it out last night.”

“Uh-huh.” Shinra nods, and yes, it is obvious that he still does not believe Shizuo, but Shizuo is giving up. There’s no point in trying to convince Shinra that he didn’t have the flea’s name when Shinra’s convince that he did. Shinra tilts his head to the side and says rather uncaringly, “Incoming.”

It’s the only warning before something wet, cold, and hard slams into the back of his head. With a roar, Shizuo whips around, furious, looking for what asshole threw something at him. There’s not enough snow on the ground for it to be a proper snowball, but a touch at the back of the neck confirms that someone was immature enough to throw a mudball at him.

And not just anyone. Standing across from him, just down the sidewalk, is none other than Izaya, red-faced with an out-of-character look of fury on his face. Reaching down, Izaya picks up another mudball and chucks it at Shizuo. This time, Shizuo tilts his head out of the way, and hears the distressed cry of Shinra getting hit in the face with it instead.

Izaya turns and flees, obviously intent on having Shizuo chase him.

And, well, if Shizuo doesn’t chase after the flea, it’s simply because he wants to get home. Not because he feels bad for the flea.

—-

Extra:

10 years later:

Shizuo-san opens the door after Mairu and Kururi have been knocking on it for at least 45 minutes. They had arrived at Shizuo’s apartment immediately after school, intent on asking this specific favor of him. The twins had even checked with his boss to find out if he had work today or not! (Which he didn’t, which means Shizuo has been an absolute jerk, making them freeze out in the cold like this!)

“What the hell do you want?” Shizuo demands as he all but throws open the door, glaring down at them.

“We need you to do something for us!” Mairu informs him cheerfully.

“Something.” Kururi nods in agreement. While Shizuo is busy glaring down at them, the twins invite themselves into his apartment, sliding past him with the same ease that they do to their brother when they visit Izaya.

“And what’s that?” Shizuo sighs, turning to face the twins as they plop themselves down onto his couch as if they live there. “If it’s about my brother you brats can just scram already.”

“We need you to buy wine for us!” Mairu says, kicking the bottom of the couch, leaning backwards to check out as much of Shizuo’s apartment before he inevitably kicks them out.

“Wine.” Kururi echoes, checking out the apartment as well. Her eyes catch something and she elbows Mairu in the side, nodding towards something. Shizuo, so oblivious as he is, doesn’t notice it.

“Why the hell would I buy wine for you?” Shizuo asks. “I don’t know the kinda crowd you girls hang out with, but I don’t supply alcohol for minors. Find someone else.”

“Please?” Mairu whines, dragging it out annoyingly long. “Kuru-nee and I aren’t actually gonna drink it! We just wanna get it for Iza-nii for Christmas!”

“Well.” Shizuo says, cracking his knuckles. “When you put it that way…”

For a moment, Mairu thinks that’s changed Shizuo’s mind.

Until he has both twins by the hood and is depositing them outside.

“Your brother can rot in hell for all I care.” And he slams the door behind him.

“Well that was a bust!” Mairu kicks the dirt outside Shizuo’s apartment complex.

“Shinra?” Kururi suggests, and Mairu sighs and throws her hands up in the air.

“Well why not! Either him or Celty should be willing to do so.” She grabs Kururi by the arm and they start down the street. “Or that guy who wears a gas mask who hangs around his place.”

The twins share a look, and then shake their heads in unison.

“Kidnapper.” Kururi states simply.

“Yeah, you’re right, he does look like a kidnapper! So maybe not him.”

As they reach the crossing, and are a block away from Shizuo’s apartment, Mairu busts into raucous laughter, Kururi giggling next to her.

“I can’t believe he still has that cow!” Mairu howls, bent over, tears in her eyes.

“Know?” Kururi manages over her giggles.

“Do you really think if he knew Iza-nii got him those he’d still have it?!”

“No!”

And the girls keep laughing all the way to Shinra’s apartment.

“Ah, I had already planned a surprise for her.” Shinra sighed.

“You know you shouldn’t get too upset over it, she is making a lot of money from this.” Shizuo told Shinra to make him feel better. 

“True… but still, can’t she just take ONE day off?! Is that tomuch for a man to ask?!” Shinra said in a dramatic tone while clutching his chest, “I even cooked a nice meal for all of us and brought the karaoke….”

“I woulndn’t worry too much. Celty-kun knows what she is doing.” Shingen said to Shinra.

Meanwhile, somwhere in the darker parts of Ikebukuro…

“Can I please jus have the money… Shinra’s probably waiting for me back at the apartment" the dullahan with bad taste is men typed.

“Alright, alright… I guess I’m having hotpot alone again” the young information broker named Izaya said to the courier in front of him as he counts and hands her the money.

“Maybe if you tried to be more decent towards others you would not have to spend your days alone" Celty typed and she took the money being handed to her and put on her helmet. She then rode away on the motorcycle-shaped horse. With the money she had just gotten she would be able to buy the perfect gift for Shinra.

Back in the apartment…

“Where is she… Its 10:00 PM already and we’re not eating without her,” the strange man with glasses said.

“Well I’m getting hungry, but we should wait for Celty” Shizuo said as he twirled around the chopstick nervously.

“Maybe we can use the karaoke machine we rented!” Emilia suggested excitedly.

“Hmph! I wanted to have Celty hear me… but alright then.” Shinra sighed.

“Okay! So who wants to sing first? How about you Shizuo?” Emilia asked.

“Eh? Well I guess I can give it a try.” Shizuo hesitantly said as he stood up and went toward the mic. By the end of the song however, he was passionately singing his lungs out.

“Wow Shizuo! I didn’t know you had that in you.” Shinra teasingly said.

“Shut up” he just mumbled back. He probably wasn’t able to talk too loud after that singing session.

“Ooh! Shingen and I have something to sing!” Emilia told the others.

“Oh now do we?!” Shingen exclaimed. That’s when they got into an intense duet of “What I Like About You” which caused Shinra to gigglea bit becaue it reminded him of Shrek and Fiona’s duet during the Far Far Away Idol special. After that was over Shinra knew it was his turn. He was saving this song for later but it was the only decent one he found. As soon as the song was starting he heard the door open.

As Celty walked in with a bag she heard distant music coming from the living room. And that was when she saw it.

Pointing at her was Shinra, singing “I Want to be Your Lady Baby” at the top of his lungs while pointing at her.

What the…!?

When the song was over he went over to Celty, smiling. “What took you so long? You know you almost missed my grand performance”

“Sorry… Its just that I had a job. And I was also looking for this” Celty explained and then handed the bag to him. Shinra opened the bag and was shocked to see what was inside. Inside the bag he found the cutest cat he had ever seen.

“Ooh, this reminds me of Celty!” Shinra exclaimed.

“Huh? What about it?”  Celty asked.

“You are both really cute!” Shinra said as he ran to hug Celty, who was… flustered?

“This is cute and all… but can we eat now that Celty’s here?” Shizuo asked.

“You haven’t eaten because you wanted to wait for me? You know you didn’t have to right?" Celty quickly typed, feeling a bit guilty.

"Haha don’t worry! It was definetely worth the wait. And now we eat!” Shinra said, with the cat still in his arms.

They ate a nice homecooked dinner while laughing and talking.

Meanwhile at Izaya’s

“Well Celty’s head, I guess its just you and me… yet again.” The young information broker told the head in front of him. “Humph! I wanted to have some fun with Shizu-chan today! I guess itcan wait until tomorrow.” He said with a grin.

    Slipping on some sweatpants he snuck out the bedroom door, closing it slightly. From the sounds of the muttered swearing and furniture being bumped Izaya assumed they were in the living room. Izaya was a room and a hallway away, he had plenty of options for a weapon in those areas.

    He crawled his way out of the hallway and somersaulted to the breakfast bar in the kitchen, checking to make sure the robber saw nothing. For some reason this person kept walking to the Christmas tree and then to the coffee table and back again. Was this person really gonna rob their presents? Izaya sometimes wondered what his humans had come to in their actions. He reached for a frying pan and a kettle, his plan was to put the kettle on this person’s head and then bash it repeatedly with the frying pan. He stood up slowly, put the pan on the bar ready for use and held the kettle above his head about to throw it down.

    The lights came on… Shizuo felt oddly cold and in a daze he reached out for Izaya only to find bare silk sheets. Shizuo sat up and rubbed his eyes, confusion evident in them. He reached for his phone to see if maybe Izaya had a job and texted him to let him know. Nothing...He took note of the time on his phone, 2:40 A.M. Where could his boyfriend be at 3 in the morning?

    He was about to lay back down and ask him about it at a more reasonable hour when he heard quiet swears in the living room. What’s he doing in there? Shizuo got up and wandered into the living room, in just his boxers and turned the light on… Izaya and Shizuo stared at the intruder with complete shock and disbelief written on each of their faces (Shizuo’s had a bit of angry expression as well). There, standing next to the coffee table was Shinra holding a tiny cube shaped package with an overly large red bow on the top.

    “Oh hey guys” god damn that dopey smile. Shinra, (narrowly avoiding a stupid rectangular metal paperweight, that Izaya just HAS to have all around the house, to the face) knelt down by the tree and placed the tiny box next to the rest of the gifts. Turning to Izaya he winked and gave out a rather suggestive ‘later~’ and sauntered out of the apartment.

    By this point Izaya had put his weapons away and tried to calm down his raging boyfriend muttering swears and something about ‘waiting til the morning’. He went over to the fridge and started to prepare a drink that he knew would help calm him. “Shizu-chan you need to relax,” he handed Shizuo a glass of warm milk, “Is that better?”

    The blonde took small sips  in order not to harm his tongue and then set the glass in the sink to be washed in the morning. “Let's go back to bed, it's too early for this.” Shizuo held his hand out for his boyfriend, hoping he’d follow. When no hand grabbed his he turned around to see the raven pick up the paperweight...and the velvety box. Shizuo made a lunge for it but Izaya sidestepped around the coffee table. Setting the paperweight on the table he looked at the tiny box.

    “Hide this so I don’t find it.” He closed his eyes and held it out to the blonde. He felt the box being lifted out of his hands and heard his boyfriend moving around so he assumed he had hidden it. Izaya opened his eyes to see Shizuo kneeling in front of him slightly blushing.

    He scratched the back of his neck and looked slightly to the side, “I didn’t plan on doing this til tomorrow but… Izaya, you’ve made me the happiest I’ve ever been in a long time. Despite how we were in the past, I realize I can’t live without you in my life. I want to protect you. I want you to never question if I love you. So will you forever be the Beauty to my Beast?” With that the box opened and inside lay a simple black band with a small ruby band in the middle.

    The raven couldn’t even speak, instead he knelt next to Shizuo and took the ring out of box. It felt so much heavier than it should have. It was just a simple metal band but the meaning behind it meant so much more. He slipped the ring on and he knew. Izaya looked up and caught his now fiance’s gaze, he couldn’t help giggling. “Why did Shinra have this?”

    “Well I couldn’t have you snooping around and finding it so I gave it to Celty for safe keeping, guess Shinra found it and wanted to play Santa.” Izaya couldn’t stop touching it, twirling it around his finger. At 3:13 in the morning Shizuo proposed, didn’t matter what he had originally planned cause this felt absolutely right.

    Shizuo stood and held his hand out, Izaya grabbed it and together they went back to their bedroom. They both were smiling and could hardly sleep, to excited and giddy for the this new chapter of their lives. Since sleep was completely out of the question they stayed up talking about everything and nothing, telling each other sweet nothings. It was complete bliss.

    Izaya awake at 9 in the morning thinking about the best sleep he’d ever had.     “Mmm, morning sleepyface.” Shizuo’s voice was always a wonderful thing to wake up to. He was about to tell Shizuo his wonderful dream when Shizuo grabbed his left hand to hold and then he saw the ring. The biggest smile bloomed on his face. “Would you like breakfast beautiful?” Izaya nodded and they made their way to the kitchen to prepare the morning meal.

    “Shizuo, we’re out of milk. Can you go out to get some while I finish cooking?”

    “Anything for you~” Shizuo put his shoes on and made sure he had his phone and wallet. He opened the door and was about to step out when he noticed two gift bags on the ground, addressed to Izaya and himself.

    Izaya had poured coffee for himself and was about to take a sip when…

    “SHINRAAAAAAA”

    Almost spitting his coffee, Izaya put his mug down and went to the front door to see his fiance gripping two bags. Confused he took one and looked inside, immediately shutting it with his cheeks radiating red.

Being an assassin, few people knew Egor. Of those few, most only knew him as the Philosophical Killing Machine, a deadly assassin who never brought weapons to battle, preferring to improvise with whatever he could get his hands on. As an assassin, he was impossible to contact. Any who wished to hire him would have to use specific channels, and hope that he contacted them.

However, there were several exceptions. One was, of course, Lingerin, the head of the arms dealing organization Egor ultimately answered to. Another was a certain representative from the Nebula corporation, a group Egor frequently worked for. The third and final exception was downright bizarre; a pair of eccentric high school girls, twins, who had once saved his life. Though he had already worked to pay them back for their aid, the Russian still gave them his contact information.

Whenever his phone rang, he could be sure it was one of those three parties. Lately Nebula had been the one to contact him most frequently, so as his phone begins ringing, and he answers, he expects a greeting from Shingen Kishitani. But the voice, or rather voices, that respond when he answers are the ones he expects least.

“Hello, Egor! I sure hope you’re not busy, Kururi and I need your services!” Mairu says, cutting straight to the point.

“Hello,” Kururi adds, her mellow voice serving as a counterpoint to Mairu’s energy.

“Good evening. Actually, I do happen to be free tonight. What did you need?” Egor asks.

“Well, we were going shopping! And two lovely young ladies shouldn’t be wandering around this late all alone!” Mairu explains.

“It’s dangerous,” Kururi adds.

“I’m going to be carrying all of your purchases, aren’t I?” Egor asks, knowing exactly where this evening will be going.

“Well, any gentleman-ly escort would do as much! Please say you’ll meet us?” Mairu asks, pouring on the charm as best as she can.

“Please,” Kururi says, a request lacking any of the passion of her sister’s, yet compelling all the same.

~X~

Of course, it was a summons he could not refuse. Though Egor had, in theory, paid back what was owed to the twins, he could not help but feel as though he was obligated to help them when asked. If asked why, he would likely make some excuse about the twins’ strange dichotomy of opposite personalities intrigued him, saying he simply wished to observe it more. But in reality, it was refreshing to spend time doing something so innocent and mundane when his usual jobs ended so violently.

Nonetheless, as he approaches the two girls, he finds himself smiling. By the end of the night, his arms will likely be laden with countless shopping bags, but if it’s anything like the last time, Egor won’t really mind that.

“Greetings, Mairu, Kururi,” Igor says, nodding to each of them in turn.

“Hello,” Kururi says, and the silence she leaves is immediately broken by Mairu.

“Oh, great, you’re here! So we can go on and get started then! Alright, so I think we should start by going here, then…” Mairu begins listing place after place, obviously having planned out their evening extensively. By the end of her list, Egor is wondering how they could possibly cover that much ground in a single evening.

“Too much,” Kururi says, giving voice to Egor’s concern.

“No way! I bet if we hurried we could make it to all of them! But I guess we wouldn’t really have much time in each store…well, okay, we’ll just take our time and see what we can get to,” Mairu concludes, before leading the strange group to their first destination. Kururi falls into step beside her, and Egor follows behind them.

~X~

Several stores and shopping bags later, the twins are leading Egor on to yet another shop, when they seem to catch sight of something rather interesting.

“Why do you think he’s wearing that, Kururi?” Mairu asks

“Sick?” Kururi suggests.

“No, I think that would be overkill, even for a germaphobe! Ooh, I wonder if there’s some other reason…maybe a more private one?” Mairu says, making some fairly bold claims about a total stranger’s personal life.

But as Egor tries to piece together their conversation, he catches sight of the man they are talking about. And, at that same moment, the man catches sight of him.

“Egor?” the oddly-dressed man calls out. He wears a stark white gas mask, and an equally white lab coat, all over a black suit. Together, it gives him an intense look that might have worked in some of Tokyo’s stranger districts, but stuck out in Ikebukuro. “Oho, that is you, isn’t it? And what are you doing out here with two young ladies? You aren’t, perhaps, a father and never told me?”

“No, Shingen, it’s nothing like that. I just owe these two a great deal,” Egor explains.

“Ha, you can’t get out of this that easy, Egor! You already paid us back, so you’ve gotta come up with a better reason!” Mairu teases.

“You do,” Kururi adds, nodding.

“Haha, I like these two already! You don’t need to explain yourself, Egor. But why would you owe them in the first place?” Shingen asks.

“Well, the night you gave me that job I failed…they’re the ones who found me and got me treated,” Egor says.

“Well, then, it seems I owe them a great deal! After all, it’s hard to find a good Jack of all trades like Egor here. And without him, I would have to find a new driver…or actually learn how to drive myself!” Shingen says, teasing Egor. “Anyway, you two seem vaguely familiar…you wouldn’t happen to be a pair of vampire twins visiting Japan, would you?” he asks, making an oddly specific shot in the dark.

“Oh man, that would be cool! I bet we’d get to meet Carmilla Saizou and everything!” Mairu gushes.

“Not us,” Kururi says, taking the question more seriously. “Izaya?”

“Oh, yeah, that’s probably it. If you’ve ever dealt with Izaya Orihara, he’s our big brother,” Mairu offers.

“Dealt with him!? That little snake once stabbed my son! Didn’t even send him a get well card or anything! Of course, since he made up half of Shinra’s entire friend base, my boy didn’t want to press charges,” Shingen says, “If it were up to me, he’d have been at the full mercy of the criminal justice system!”

“Not surprising,” Kururi admits.

“Yeah, that definitely sounds like something Izaya would do,” Mairu adds, nodding.

Thinking it might be a good idea to change the subject, Egor interjects, “Did you come out alone, Shingen? I notice Emilia is not with you.”

“Oh, she’s just lingering a bit in the last store we were in. The lines were rather long, and she said it was fine if I went on out,” Shingen says, explaining his wife’s absence. “I’m glad she did, because I ran into you! She’ll be so happy to see you, too, once she comes out.”

“I’m not sure the young ladies here will want to wait around…” Egor says, not wanting to ruin the twins’ evening on his account.

“Awh, come on, Egor! I’m so eager to see who would marry Shingen that I’d wait around for hours! Does she wear a gas mask too?” Mairu asks.

“Not as much as I’d like! I try to tell her how filthy this city air is, but she insists on only wearing it sometimes,” Shingen answers.

“Oh, so that’s why you wear it? I thought there might have been more to it,” Mairu says, “After all, some people have a ki-”

“Stop,” Kururi interrupts, pinching Mairu in the side. The energetic twin yelps in surprise, letting the subject drop.

The ensuing silence doesn’t last long, however, as an obviously foreign woman with a matching gas mask pushed up onto her head and lab coat steps out of the store behind Shingen. Neither of the twins feel the need to ask if she is Shingen’s wife, thinking it’s rather safe to assume she is. That assumption is proven true as she locks arms with Shingen, and greets Egor.

“Oh, it is Egor!” she exclaims. “Hoping this evening is treating you well!”

“Greetings Emilia,” Egor answers, obviously familiar with the woman and her strange version of Japanese. “I certainly can’t complain, and it’s a pleasure to see both you and Shingen.”

“Ha, not as much as a pleasure as you’d like though, huh Egor?” Shingen teases, though it could easily be interpreted as flirting. A swift elbow from Emilia puts a stop to it, however.

“Not in front of the young ones, dear,” Emilia scolds her husband.

“Oh, man, no way! I want to hear all about this, and the details are very welcome!” Mairu cries out.

“No,” Kururi says, shutting her sister down just as Emilia shut down her husband. “Late,” she adds.

“Oh, man, you’re right, we need to get going! It was nice meeting you two, and I’ve still got a lot of questions about those gas masks!” Mairu says, as she and Kururi turn towards the next store on their list, taking their leave.

“It was a pleasure seeing you, as always, Shingen. And you too, Emilia,” Egor says, nodding to each of his friend-client hybrids, and following after the twins.

“I hope to be seeing you soon, Egor!” Emilia says.