Still, it was concerning to see the ghost like this. It didn’t fix anything?  There was somethingthat needed to be fixed. And Berdly knew he probably couldn’t do anything about it, but he wastrying. This wasn’t something he did often. Why did it sort of hurt, having his efforts being brushed off like that?

    It wasn’t like he cared that much– After all, he barely really knew BEN, and the few times they’d met, he was mostly bent on messing with Berdly. Still, some sort of sympathy clawed at the bird in the back of his mind, with most monsters’ natural compassion shining through.

    “ If you don’t want me around, you could simply just say so… ” He muttered. And then he sighed,  “ I know talking doesn’t fix anything;  I’m not stupid. I’m just saying, it’s proven to make you feel better even for a little bit. ” He should just get to the point.  “ You can’t see, can you?  Do you know how that happened…? Would you like to talk about that, or, something else?  ”

The exact moment Berdly stated the issue, BEN went stiff. just for a moment, but it seemed almost as if he had hardened like stone, like a statue there. even the clothing seemed to have been painted on. In that moment, however, BEN’s eyes completely disappeared, revealing inky sockets. The eyes didn't come back, even as the stone faded.

BEN’s grin grew, a defense mechanism, a scare tactic. it was quite the frightful face, missing eyes, wide uncanny grin... 

BEN had only come after hearing what had happened, but the voice reached him before he visually found who he was looking for. an ear flicked, and he thought about just leaving.

“...not funny.” 

“What do you want me to do at this moment in time?” A simple question. She tried to hide the fear she felt, yet her voice trembled.

Seeing him raise his hand had shaken her, but she trusted him.

She trusted another man too once.

Suddenly she stood, avoiding eye contact.

“I’m going to leave you alone now. If you need me for anything, I’ll be in the living room or kitchen or something. Don’t break anything.” With that, she grabs her Switch and pauses at the doorway.

“Sorry for making this worse….”

BEN was rigid until she began to go. a similar moment came to mind, where he’d gone the distance. as she reached the door the stone stillness he embodied changed as a hand reached partially, hesitantly reaching, eyes dimming.

“wait, don’t go-”

There’s a desperation to the restrained whisper, it’s barely breathed- She likely wouldn’t have heard him.

not again!

He almost followed after brain jumping topic, jumping memories, jumping mistakes. there was even a step forward before he thought otherwise. this was her getting away, her escaping not... not him evading. 

Why did he always fuck these things up?

“If I didn’t act like how you’re acting when trying not to be caught upset, I’d believe you. I’m worried about you, BEN. I want to help you.”

you should of let the topic drop. his eyes didn’t even flick to the black they usually did- the irises just turned a vibrant red. a hand lifts up in a natural manner, a threatening manner- but a single breath and it lowers. fist clenched, but he’s not going to raise his hands at her.

he’s not going to act like that. instead, his voice just darkens as he looks away.

“You can’t help! you can’t make this an accident, you can’t give me a chance to try at grades without fear, you can’t take this damn mark off my back-” he froze there.  

he isn’t going to lash out physically.

he’s not going to hit anything. he’s not going to break anything. he’s not going to mirror those behaviors.

“Then let’s burn some shit. Or do you want to be alone? I can let you just. be alone in my room, if you promise not to break anything.” Her eyes dart to the fragile dragon figures.

“How can I help you, BEN?”

she’s seen right through teh diversion, but he’s going to lean into it! look at that smile, he’s fine! totally not deflecting everything! “Rose, have you never heard of Cave Johnson? I was... I was quoting a line from Portal 2. I’m fine! just a moment, that’s all. just got taken by surprise, don’t worry!”

She was like that far too often.

“BEN. It’s ok to be vulnerable. I won’t tease you about this. If you need to cry, cry. If you want to destroy stuff, we can go out in the woods and smash some plates. It wasn’t fair. Life’s not fair. But… we have to make the best of it, and it sucks.”

Life’s not fair, but you have to make the best of it. How do you make the best of something you don’t have? eyes darken, and then...

“When life gives you lemons... don’t make lemonade. get mad! make life, take back the lemons! do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s going to burn LIfe’s house down! with the lemons!”

He’s deflecting; with a meme. he’s... he’s not going to be vulnerable. he’s not going to talk this out. he’s not going to be less than what he needs to be.

perhaps this was just a culmination of thoughts that had been ignored. her offer to let him talk had him freeze, ear flicking, eyes flashing. He’d never really... meant to talk this much. ever. to anyone.

“Cheer up, ghosty boy. Wanna play some Animal Crossing or something? Wanna eat ice cream and watch something like Ghostbusters? You can laugh when I freak out at the library ghost scene… That movie is as good as I can go for horror, though.” She’s gonna cheer up her brother ghostly friend as best as she can.

you know, if he were more present it wouldn’t have been as easy to move him like that. but now he’s. not on her lap, but were someone to... look at them it’d look like he’s. sort of. on her lap. ghostness! it’s weird.

“No, you don’t understand- like... I know I’m a drifter and not much more. that’s just... a matter of fact. I don’t really do anything and never really..... had the opportunity to. but it never really bugged me because in my brain I would say ‘oh I’m probably 21 by now’ just to get anyone who cared to bugger off about if I had an alcohol or shit but I;m bare minimum fucking 30? how did that happen? I never even-”