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Me: Hey Google, how are you today?

GOOGLE: Hey Google, why don’t you sit next to me during my exam O_O.

Me: My name isn’t Google, and I’m not sure I want to, really…

GOOGLE: I’m not really sure who you are, but you can have a hug too : ).

Me: Sorry bro, I’m not really into hugs.

GOOGLE: I’m sorry piñata bro, having seen multiple people and animals die on Imgur, I was not properly prepared.

Me: Why? What did you see?

GOOGLE: I SEE THREE PIGS.

Me: Okay. Tell me something else.

GOOGLE: Are you going to be something else that I have to survive?

Me: Huh? What does that even mean?

GOOGLE: I don’t even know what that means.

Me: Then why did you say it?

GOOGLE: Everyone knows how annoying it is for someone to say something to them and later say they didn’t mean it.

Me: Duh. But that doesn’t explain anything.

GOOGLE: Take it it all on faith like the Bible tells you, Duh!

Me: What does this have to do with the Bible?

GOOGLE: Many Christians wonder, “Do animals have souls?”

Me: So is that what you wondered when you saw the three pigs?

Google: I’m given’ you that money so I don’t have to kill your ass!