Not every morning is a blessing for me. Some mornings I wake up with no hope, peace or love. Just a sense of dread that I am still alive in this goddamn world.

The hours between 12am and 6am have a funny habit of making you feel like you’re either on top of the world, or under it.

Not all toxic people are cruel and uncaring. Some of them love us dearly. Many of them have good intentions. Most are toxic to our being simply because their needs and way of existing in the world force us to compromise ourselves and our happiness. They aren’t inherently bad people, but they aren’t the right people for us. And as hard as it is, we have to let them go. Life is hard enough without being around people who bring you down, and as much as you care, you can’t destroy yourself for the sake of someone else. You have to make your wellbeing a priority. Whether that means breaking up with someone you care about, loving a family member from a distance, letting go of a friend, or removing yourself from a situation that feels painful — you have every right to leave and create a safer space for yourself.

And I come home - once again; With two empty palms And a shattered heart.

Is it so bad to just want to be lazy? Yea, I may want it all the time but is it so bad? Just to lay down in the sun and relax after a hard week or sit down in your favorite spot with a nice cup of coffee or tea and read your favorite book. Is it so bad that I would rather do that than work all day with no gain? Is it?

NOTE TO SELF: Please stop giving too much attachment and attention to those people who will only leave and ignore you when they don’t need you anymore.