The Peel is an offshoot of the Onion but honestly if someone told me this was real slam poetry I wouldn’t even question it

Say that!

is there anything better than kissing a cat’s soft belly

kissing a sleeping cats soft little forehead and hearing them go brrrrrb?

god you’re so right

Trying to match this energy

what;s the point of having animals if you won’t let them on the furniture, you stupid bitch

I like being invited to things. I don’t necessarily like going But I like being invited.

hello 911? hi yeah omg sorry i know it’s late and this is probably so annoying like i hell don’t wanna bother you haha, like i know you’re probs mad at me, are you mad at me? actually don’t answer that it’s okay haha. omg this is so stupid like i sound like such a crybaby right now, like for real i’m listening to myself talk and i’m like “aaahh you’re so embarrassing!!” haha like … omg haha i’m so… anyway. what was i saying? oh right. so i was just stabbed in the chest and