Eating Disorder Recovery

Seriously... This is a long question and requires some backstory.

Mentions abuse and self harm do not read if it can trigger you.

My dad used to be both physically, emotionally and verbally abusive until I was 12 with occasional bouts of anger and hitting/shoving until I was 15. That being said it was never really as bad as some other people. Due to this I have never really been close to him but have always longer to have a relationship with him that was similar to my younger brother (he never hurt him and outright favors him). As a result of this abuse, my dad verbally defeating me and calling me fat everyday and some bullying at school I have developed some serious mental illnesses. I started self harming in 8th grade, have serious social anxiety, general anxiety, major depression, and recently have developed an Eating Disorder at 16(last year) and have been through treatment. I have wanted to mend our relationship for a long time, but Everytime I open up about my emotions he shuts me down. When I relapsed with SH he ignored me for three days, after he just told me he didn't understand and never would. He has called me selfish, and has frequently gotten mad at me for eating my safety foods. He told me, a person's with anorexia, to stop eating. I opened up about his word choices he refused to change and said I always attack him. He continues to invalidate my emotions and refuses to see how his actions are causing many triggers in my daily life and isn't willing to change. He has said that if I make one more mistake that he will not let me go to college, will not support me and then go to court to declare me legally inept so he can still make all my decisions. He refused family therapy. Thankfully my mother has been so incredibly supportive of me during my recovery process(he never hurt her).