Let's forget reality

All this to say that there is a scene that lives in my head (which doesn’t feel likely to actually fit into the au bc it’s a bit melodramatic but it’s fun to think about) in which Shane has joined the centaurs with Ilya canon style and is having a drink with Hayden and JJ after a game in Montreal while the rest of the centaurs are at a different bar (Shane will be joining them later or meeting Ilya at the hotel, but the point of this is to catch up with his old friends and he’ll get distracted if his whole team is there so they’re at a separate place). Coincidentally, Brian is out at the same bar (it’s Montreal! He lives here!), spots Shane and approaches him because “he just wants to talk” and once Hayden and JJ realise who this guy is they’re actually pretty excited to talk to him because like. Yeah sure it’s not cool to make friends with your bro’s ex like that but they’re soooo curious because this is the guy he was with before Rozanov and, like, that’s Rozanov, they may kind of be friends now but they’ll always think of him a little bit like an ass, so any other guy must be better right? Even Shane’s ex?

So they start chatting Brian up and it takes like a minute because Shane needs to reboot a bit, and he’s been quiet for that whole minute, but eventually he goes “okay that’s it for me for tonight bye guys” and fully dips. Hayden and JJ go “??? what come back we were hanging dude” and follow him, which leads to Brian following them because he still wants words with Shane (unsure as to what purpose, potentially to make him feel bad for being out with another man, who was The Other Man, because he’s bitter about how their relationship ended and what his life has been like since then. He feels unaccomplished and unfulfilled now so there’s a gut pull instinct towards revenge prompting him to act foolish). Shane isn’t speaking to any of them and just heads to the bar where the rest of his team is because he simply doesn’t wanna deal with this shit. What he wants is to see his husband.

Eventually Brian catches up enough to grab Shane’s arm and stop him (“what do you want” “I want to talk to you, I don’t like how we left things” “Brian listen, we’ve said everything that can be said already, I’m not really interested in anything else you have to say” “oh so when your side piece-“ “ok bye”). Shane untangles himself easily (he’s a big strong hockey player) and continues walking. Brian continues following. Hayden and JJ follow behind them going “oh. uh. uh oh. we did a whoopsie probably”.

Eventually they reach the bar and either Brian wises up when he realises that it’s full of hockey players who will take Shane’s side, or he 😏 doesn’t 😏

Hence there’s a version of this scene in my head where Brian actually follows them all into the bar where the centaurs are and Ilya almost fistfights him and only doesn’t because “Ilya I want the fucking cup this year and our chances of that will be lowered if you’re suspended for fighting a fan”, but that’s if it gets really melodramatic.

Neither Shane nor Ilya really explains to anyone on the team or Hayden and JJ what just happened in detail beyond “that is Shane’s asshole ex” because neither of them are interested in compromising Shane’s privacy like that, but Hayden and JJ get scared straight about ragging on Ilya because no matter how many concussions you’ve had the tension in the air for the past half hour or so was Not missable. Something Happened Here. Legally they can’t make mean jokes about Ilya anymore because that was not the face of a man who is jealous of his husband’s ex, that’s a man who Knows What That Ex Did And It Was Bad.

Regardless, it takes like a full year before Ilya will let Hayden and JJ into their house again and that’s only because Shane has decided they’re okay now. Ilya will never forgive and never forget.

(Irrelevant addition but: this makes Shane and Troy (who had a rough start on the team due to Troy’s whole thing) finally bond over having bad exes.)

Sorry this is so long but ur au lights my brain on fire !! It’s really good!!

"Sorry this is so long" do you also apologize to your friends when you cook them a delicious five course meal??

This is perfect, actually. It's so so so tasty! A little bit of melodrama is more than fine with me, I think this fits really well with the rest of the story and I'm actually kind of jealous I didn't think of this scenario first!

I think this really makes sense with what Hayden and JJ would know about Shane's relationship with his ex (nothing) and their feelings towards Ilya (JJ is a lot more positive about him, I feel, but there's still a little bit of a "you couldn't have picked someone else?" vibe). They're curious! And they have no idea what kind of a hornet's nest they've stepped on because they never stopped to think just why Shane has so adamantly refused to tell them anything about his ex.

Also if we wanna make it extra melodramatic, have Brian be a little drunk and make a comment about how nice it is that they were able to sell their love story as something sweet and romantic and not as them fucking around behind his back.

"Scarily obsessed with Shane Hollander?" Cliff chimes in " Yeah, we're all a little worried he moved to Canada to stalk the man."

Everyone at the table gives a half hearted laugh at the "joke".

Ilya comes back, not even smelling like cigarettes smoke and the first thing he says is "Did you see the deke Hollander pulled against the Admirals goalie tonight." and no they had not seen it because they had all, Ilya included, been playing hockey at the time. Which means that from their perspective he had just been outside looking at Hollanders highlights for 30 minutes and suddenly everyone at the table is just a little less convinced. Like Cliff was just joking.

Probably.

Rozanov was almost definitely not stalking Shane Hollander.

he does! they have a big fight on their road trip from hell and Ilya snaps at Shane about choosing to leave, at which point Shane freezes and goes "...wait. do you think I left because I wanted to?" (this is one of the scenes I'm most excited to write in the full fic)

but one day one of the tougher kids actually starts picking a fight with shane at lunch over a soccer game. and just as things are starting to get nasty ilya comes barrelling in out of nowhere, telling the kid to back off and he's all up in his face and poking at his chest until the kid throws a punch. and to shane’s shock, ilya throws one too. and suddenly they're scrapping and shane is stunned because ilya rozanov just came into the middle of a fight because of HIM.

well, they have an everything kink so...yes they sure do (! the following contains feminization for pervert kink reasons!)

I think it would come up by accident and wouldn't be something either of them considered/were into before. but one night they have a social dinner with some of the brigadiers and other members of the bratva, it's meant to be more friendly and casual so many people bring their spouses and families. Ilya -- and everyone else in attendance -- quickly learns that Shane is great with kids. He'll hold a baby without complaint, but he's espeically good at listening to the older kids, engaging with their questions, making them feel valued and important. when the two of them finally get home, it's late and they're tired, but of course Ilya kisses the top of Shane's head and says "you were such a wonderful mother duck tonight" which makes Shane laugh. As they get into bed they have a semi-deep conversation on if Ilya would ever want children. He doesn't, he already has custody of his niece and that's enough for him, plus he would worry too much about keeping them safe. Shane nods and listens, and when Ilya is done he kisses him again and goes "it is too bad I cannot get you pregnant."

I think about Simone Biles dropping out of the Olympics due to struggles with performance, and the mythology created around elite performance athletes like Ilia Malinin, who had a very public fumble at the Olympics despite all the hype. This created a ton of dialogue. Where they had once been something to marvel at, now they are something to scrutinize. Scrutinized by people who know nothing about their sport, even!

Shane doesn’t disappoint though. He brings Montreal three cups. If you don’t know hockey, you know Shane Hollander. Just like you know Tom Brady, Serena Williams, LeBron James. Michelle Kwan, and Simone Biles. You’ve probably rooted for these people alongside diehard fans even when you yourself know nothing about the sport. That’s who Shane Hollander is. He can belong to everyone. He is everyone’s athlete.

And then he’s outed. And then he trips. Suddenly, this man who up until then has lived life mostly unscrutinized (besides the microaggressions of the insular hockey world), who had been unquestionably A Badass, someone to admire, someone to put on a pedestal, he’s suddenly human. He’s someone who passionately kisses his rival in the side yard of his best friend and teammate’s house. He’s someone who carried on a secret affair that has rocked the foundations of the sports world. And because he kissed his rival, because he has revealed himself to be human, he is now brought to the same level of scrutiny as anyone else. It is open season for opinions about Shane Hollander.

Not every opinion would bad. Many would be good. Many would love him for it. But the fact that people feel entitled to make the opinion means that the fabric of Shane’s fame has changed. He’s now up for interpretation. You don’t just sit back and marvel at him, you now have other things to say that cloud the myth. And that changes what he is allowed to do, even as an athlete.

Ilya doesn't expect to be loved.

He's coming in baby faced, barely speaking english, with no one really on his side advocating for him in early years. And a big part of how this sport is played is how you play the audience. So he plays into the stereotypes and expectations people already have of him. The NHL, his employers who control his ability to stay in this country that is his safe harbor, have cast him as Shane Hollander's rival. So he must play the part.

Professional athletics at the end of the day, are all about putting on a good performance to sell tickets. Although Ilya does not know the English word for narrative he can follow a thread to know what's expected of him. So when he needs a shield he simply picks up whatever has already been placed at his feet.

There's a compartmentalization that happens where he decides being good at hockey is enough. Being loved in Boston is enough. Being hated in New York doesn't matter, it's expected, but occasionally there's a surprise win of Florida (but specifically not because of him it's just full of Boston people).

He's a niche celebrity if you don't pay attention to Hockey. However sports networks give him equal coverage to Shane and I think his attitude on this is a bit revealing to his depression early in the story.

He doesn't expect a legacy in the way Shane does, and ruthlessly works towards. Ilya Rozanov believes he can only ever be destined to go out in a blaze of glory.

He's the most hockey player hockey player he can be. So long as it doesn't affect his game I think Ilya's philosophy is very "no press is bad press, so long as they're talking about me." He's deliberate in only letting people see what they're already expecting to see which I think is highlighted very well in the two times we see Ilya at home watching Shane win the cup. When he's alone he affords himself a quiet smile. However when there are people this becomes a dramatic performance of woe that would not have been the same had any other team won.

I think in the way Shane Hollander is known and adored by the public. Ilya Rozanov is seen and loved by the people. [Neither statement is actually true below the surface]

Everyone has an opinion on him, but no one can ever get close enough to see more than he wants them to see.

Throat curtain fic, i.e., those fic where dentists can tell if you've been deepthroating too enthusiastically

All softlaunches can look like a bromance if you squint hard enough

The Stanley Cup Wish fics. There's one where Shane gets turned into a literal centaur.

Bottom energy supersedes being a Super Gay (TM). Shane attests in the FMM threesome fic.

That fic where Shane finds out about "Would you love me if I were a worm?"

That fic where Shane kills a home intruder and Ilya has to talk him down, and Shane asks Ilya where they're going to hide the body, and Ilya is like, no, what, we're calling the police

That fic with Ilya simultaneously runs a gay hockey mafia union and a straight ally hockey mafia union and has a room with a conspiracy board, but that's actually an unironically good fic

Shane is deeply surprised that people consider his relationship a little (or a lot) kinky as everyone else stares in gleeful horror at whatever sexnanigan he describes

Shane accidentally forces Scott Hunter to describe cunnilingus to him. It is the gayest conversation ever had

A woodpecker stops Ilya from succumbing to depression, and that's not a euphemism

Shane has to get a tattoo to avoid telling people he can't donate blood because of the voracious amounts of gay sex he's having in the 2010s

Every minor antagonist is named Brad

That fic where Ilya attempts to psychologically destroy an Italian Olympic hockey player because Shane complimented his shoulders one time

Hollanov go to Reddit for relationship advice

Part one, Part three

Ilya is laying on the couch. Shane is laying on top of his husband as they watch the news story about the missing commissioner. “It’s a good thing JJ is in Boston.” Shane says. JJ left Montreal after his contract was up and signed with Boston.

“Yes, he is safe there. Him and Cliff are having fun. I see their stories,” Ilya says as he rubs circles into Shane’s back. Shane then raises up to look Ilya in the eyes. “Don’t hurt Hayden.”

“What are yo-.”

“Do not hurt Hayden.” Shane repeats. A silent understanding passing between them.

Husband, bitch, crack shot...oh these are the three essential terms to describe second marriage Shane. He still has that drive to always be the best at what he does...he had it with hockey as a teenager, then with becoming a wunderkind at the RCMP, and now he's going to succeed as being the best mole-turned-gangster that ever lived.

This is gonna be my only contribution to Royed wedding week because I gotta work and it makes me tired and this piece which was initially just gonna be a sketchy lil thing took 7 hours because I’m a perfectionist and I regret trying to do backgrounds every time 🤡

This is actually a heaps timely prompt because I’m getting married in 5 months and my fiancée has been struggling to choose suit colours.

So this has been a fun research into my fav wedding suit colour schemes that I know he will never wear - so I force my fav fma boys to wear them instead ofc 🤵‍♂️🤵‍♂️

Hayoo💖💖 ✨

I haven't posted Jaydick in a while, and I was so busy that I couldn't get into Jaydick week either 😿

It's All Stars and a camera catches them sitting together on the bench during the skills competition, leaning in and whispering to each other, clearly trying to be sneaky. They're both kind of smiling, looking like they're trying not to laugh. Then Ilya says something that makes Shane crack up and have to hide his face while he's trying to pull himself together. This moment gets giffed and everyone is dying to know what made the famously cool and collected Shane Hollander laugh like that.

Shane Week Day Four Favorite Trait: Guilt / Shame / Fear