also did anyone consider putting ilya in a bathroom with a handful of drunk girls?? I'm sure that would fix him
now i need a fic of Ilya in a club, sometime when Shane is with Rose, looking depressed as fuck, taking the wrong turn and going into the women's bathroom. He immediately apologizes and is on his way out when the drunk girls are like nooo you look so sad whats wrong. And Ilya knows he's a public figure and he should get out but it feels so good to be asked so he leans agaist the wall and tells them (cryptically, vaguely) about his Montréal girl, and years later when Galina asks if he's ever tried therapy he says no but he realizes he's kinda lying because that night, he did group therapy
omg hes in a groupchat now.......hes doing brunch......
thank you @81tunameltsfor the tags these are everything
Wrote a comment about this, but it just kept getting bigger, and then I named the drunk girls and now I’m attached, I love them okay?
The drunk girls in the bathroom aren’t connected to hockey in any way. They don’t care about hockey, they don’t really recognise Ilya’s name or face (“did you hook up with [famous model]? Think I remember you on her instagram once”). So Ilya doesn’t have to perform his hockey persona, or pretend to be Lily like in Montreal WAG chat fics, when he’s with them. He can just be sad over his Montreal Jane ghosting him and then going out with someone else someone who’s gorgeous and perfect and who parents would love, while Emily rants about her shitty boss and Nina cries over her asshole ex that cheated on her, and the group gives advice and hugs and increasingly implausible death threats to whoever hurt them.
At brunch the next day, Mel gleefully tells them all about the antics of her dumpster fire cousin getting super drunk at a wedding and starting a fight with the mother of the groom. Ilya tells them he’s a professional athlete, and gets a ‘oh that’s cool, explains the incredible body like damn dude drop the glute workout’ but then they move on like it’s just another job because none of them know or care about hockey, and Priya’s office job has way better gossip (because Dan is hooking up with Margie, but Dan’s wife Sarah’s department is merging with theirs and it’s getting MESSY because Sarah is totally hooking up with an intern and not being subtle about it AT ALL and Dan looked ready to throw his coffee mug in the intern’s face on Friday).
Ilya gets to be a normal everyday person whenever he’s talking to the girls, not a hockey superstar, and it means he has a support network of people who aren’t linked to his job and don’t subscribe to toxic hockey norms. He doesn’t want to talk to the WAGs or his team about his depression because he doesn’t want to reveal any vulnerabilities or let the team down, but can open up to Emily about it because she’s been on antidepressants for years and very open about her mental health struggles. From then on, he can text her a 🧠 on his bad days and she’ll immediately spam him with pictures of her dogs. Nina talks about supporting her sister through her Eating Disorder recovery, and Ilya eventually asks for advice on how to talk to Jane about her incredibly restrictive diet.
Priya’s girlfriend Grace doesn’t like clubbing but she comes to brunch sometimes (she’s a night shift nurse) and on her rare nights off she can apparently drink even Ilya under the table (Ilya has never seen this and refuses to believe it because no one can outdrink a Russian). Priya vents to Ilya over text a few days later about how her parents view her relationship/sexuality as a phase, and nag her about needing to grow up and marry a respectable man, and how hurtful it is to see them dismiss the woman she hopes to marry someday as a fling. And she feels guilty talking to Grace about it because Priya at least still has her parents. Grace cut her parents off after they made it clear that they would never accept Priya into their family because of her skin colour. But Priya can’t cut her parents off without every extended family member calling to berate her for it, and her mom’s got health issues, and she really really wants them to be at her future wedding so she’s desperately hoping she can make them accepting if she can just get them to understand that Grace is The One. Ilya confesses he’s bisexual and his family suspects and hates him for it, but if he ever came out he could never go home and he’s not sure he’s ready to close that door. They delete their text thread for Ilya’s safety, and at the next brunch, Priya gives him the tightest hug she can.
When he and Montreal Jane make it official, his return to Boston is heralded by a celebratory brunch with the girls. It helps numb the ache of no longer waking up next to Shane everyday.
Ilya’s move to Ottawa is barely questioned by them because they don’t know anything about the teams involved, just that he’s moving to be closer to his partner, which makes total sense, they knew he was gone for her ever since he stumbled into that bathroom twoish years ago. But they all insist that he better still come to brunch whenever he’s in the city! He’s still a Boston Bitch even if he’s no longer living in Boston. Ilya does not cry about this.
When Shane and Ilya are outed, the girls flood the group chat with support and love. Priya and Mel have to be talked out of hunting Brad down and feeding him to Emily’s dogs, with Ilya pointing out that the dogs will get indigestion being the deciding factor against their planned revenge.
They all get invited to the wedding, and descend on Ilya like a shrieking swarm. (Shane is initially a bit awkward and overwhelmed by them, but he’s grown fond of them because Ilya showed him the supportive messages from the group chat. They fiercely tell him he better take good care of their friend, and their protectiveness immediately makes him more comfortable with them). Ilya dances with all of them during the night. Someone makes an awkward joke about them being past hookups and Ilya pulls a face and waves the comment away. “Not hookups. We are Boston Bitches. It’s a sacred sisterhood of brunch and booze.”
When the Centaurs play in Boston, the Boston Bitches join them at whatever club/bar they go to to celebrate. Shane sits at a booth with his ginger ale and talks to Grace about her ongoing house renovation projects. Some woman tries to flirt with Ilya on the dance floor and Priya hipchecks her away from him, dragging Mel into a flailing dance that keeps the other woman from getting close again. Shane has to swallow his laugh.
(Turns out, Grace can outdrink Ilya. Shane has to drag his drunk husband out of the club while Grace smugly walks out holding Priya’s hand).
