Let's forget reality

Ilya: [barely listening] yeah for sure. Should I buy this Rolls-Royce in yellow or red?

"What even is riding? What is governer general? So many weird English words. Don't get me started on history. Why do I have to remember there was strike in Winnipeg a hundred years ago? Was Scott Hunter there?"

The clip goes somewhat viral, but it doesn't spread far until he's doing a post-game interview where one reporter, after asking their question about the game, asks, "Where does the name 'Canada' come from?"

"What?"

The reporter kind of embarresedly repeats, "Where does the word 'Canada' come from? It's on the Canadian citizenship test."

Ilya stares blankly for a moment then says, slowly, "It means village, I think. From Indigenous language? Why are you asking questions from citizenship test?"

The reporter shrugs. "You said you were having dfficulty studying for the test. Maybe it helps with studying?"

And THAT clip goes viral along with the first. It starts a trend of reporters asking questions from the Discover Canada study guide whenever the opportunity arises. It starts as a bit, but soon people get in invested and genuinely want to see Ilya pass his citizenship test. Fans start asking him questions from the study guide too, whenever they meet him at official events or out and about.

(She then also prints a dinosaur and adds it to the tree, like on the top of the tree)

Shane: who is this, baby?

After lunch they are seated in the den, fondly flipping through old photograph albums, when Ilya spies one that makes him lean over and squint. In the way of disposable camera film from the early aughts, it is grainy and overexposed, but there are no mistaking the warm brown eyes and pouty lips of Shane Hollander, looking blank faced at the camera. What comes as a surprise are the bleached blond ends of his dark hair, styled into crunchy looking spikes with obscene amounts of product.

Ilya emits a noise that can only be described as a squawk. Hand clapped to his mouth, because he barely trusts himself to speak, he chokes out, "What is...this?"

Yuna glances over nonchalantly. "Oh, that. Shane begged me to let him get frosted tips when he was 12."

Ilya will die. He will die right here, gagging on suppressed laughter, and Yuna will be forced to clean the mess of his remains off the berber carpet.

"I think he was trying to emulate some boy band he was obsessed with then. NSYNC maybe? I thought it was a bad idea, but David convinced me to let him try it out. Shane was going through a moody period, and he thought it might help."

"And-" Ilya squeaks in way too high a pitch, then clears his throat. "Ahem. And did it?"

Yuna thinks. "Hard to say. God, he was a bit of a bitchy preteen." She chuckles. "He had a poster of Lance Bass taped to his closet door. In hindsight, I should have guessed the gay thing much earlier."

Ilya can no longer contain his laughter. He doubles over with it, waving his hand and wheezing, "Sorry, sorry." He wipes tears from his eyes. "I can have this picture?"

Yuna shrugs. "Sure. The poster is probably still upstairs in his closet, if you want that, too. I've been meaning to clear it out-"

DING DING DING DING.

Thank you. The nature of being closeted is what makes him reserved- it’s self preservation.

I think once he’s been with the Centaurs for a good few years and they’re all completely comfortable, he sometimes comes out with shit out of nowhere that makes Ilya blush a little.

Dick was called in because jason was away in another city right now. Dick immediately told baby to apologize, which he did begrudgingly. However, before they could leave the scene, the other boy’s father muttered under his breath about “unruly, defective omegas have unruly pups.”

Journalist: Batman is clearly in the employ of Bruce Wayne, who is clearly funding him-

Gothamite: Yeah, no shit.

Journalist:

Gothamite: What? You think we didn't know?

Journalist: But-

PART ONE

Fuck Ilya Rozanov by @marysuehasting

~ Soulmate AU! Ilya burnt his soul mark the moment he got it, without ever reading it. Shane knew this. He also knew the Russian refused to look for that fated person who would know him inside and out. So, perhaps it wasn’t the smartest of Shane when he brought up the slimmest possibility of them being soulmates after they hooked up. And now he was being ghosted.

Lipstick Stains (3/3) by @divi_d

~ By day, Shane is an assistant at The Rozanov Firm, surviving his boss's temper and drooling over the CEO's son. By night, he performs as a drag queen, doing the odd burlesque show and, on one particular night, getting drooled over by the CEO's son.

to build a home (4/4) by @foxriverblues

~ Childhood friends to lovers! A day after Ilya asks Shane if he’d marry him when they turn thirty, Ilya’s mother dies. Within a week, Ilya and his family return to Russia, leaving behind nothing but an empty house next door. Eighteen years later, Shane stumbles across a comment on his Instagram that brings back a flood of memories, emotions, and feelings that he’d thought were long buried.

the courtship of ilya rozanov (4/4) by @cherrylillies

~ After the tuna melt meltdown, Shane meets Rose Landry, has several deeply inconvenient revelations, and decides to do the only sensible thing: win Ilya back with sincerity, logistics, and a frankly alarming amount of emotional effort. Ilya, meanwhile, mistakes every tender gesture for the kind prelude to an inevitable goodbye.

we go on walks (11/11) by @tootsonnewts

~ Firewatch AU! Shane decided to spend a summer in the woods as a firewatch after his ex Rose politely informed him he was gay while breaking up with him. There's an Eldritch god of the forest that Shane swears is stalking him (and might be trying to rizz him up).

Arranged (7/7) by @Bubble_bath_frenchtip

I’ll call this my compilation of Shane Hollander emotional h/c fics :}}

Something You Can Fix (series) I cannot recommend this enough, truly. It’s based off the idea that somebody records Shane & Rose’s conversation and posts it online.

Dig Two Graves this is a very, very good fic with a very very well-written breakdown from Shane and it’s also a very tough read. There is a graphic self-mutilation in this fic so read with caution!!!

Change, Like the Sky Shane unintentionally attempts suicide after getting outted in this one, so, please, read with caution!

A Year Safe in Your Heart I’ve recommended this one before, it’s a time travel fic where Shane has a. tough time. I really find the way his emotional health is discussed very compelling.

Crystal, Come Right In less of a breakdown fic but I really like this one, it’s an expansion on a possible version of the Club scene where things go differently. Bit of a spoiler, I guess, but it does have a happy ending :}

One Day I’ll Watch as You’re Leaving (and Life Will Lose All It’s Meaning) this is a Hollanov break-up fic + Shane’s very passive in this one so just keep in mind that that is the Shane you will be reading about. Additionally! Shane deals a lot with his suicidal thoughts in this fic, so keep that in mind.

How to Be a Rogue another tough read, please be aware that this discusses Shane being sexually assaulted and it being public knowledge.

It’s All Canadian Vodka’s Fault yeah so Shane thinks Ilya died and this is him Reacting. I really, reallyyyy like Shane’s internal monologue in this one

(Incomplete) Ilya; My Ilyusha there is truly so much potential here, this is another time travel fic and I’m Very obsessed with what’s been written so far. Book!Shane gets sent to TV!Universe and, unsurprisingly, there are problems with this. Very veryyyy good so far!

This isn’t totally what you mean BUT I would be remiss not to add a big fav of mine :}