dread

This might just beat my Valentine's Day comp for "Worst Case of Gas I've Ever Had"...

It turns out that if you stuff your lactose intolerant tummy with junk food, a whole tub of ice cream, a LOT of inulin gummies, then add yogurt with oats and beany chili with lots of melted cheese to the mix...you get a very persistant and unsubtle case of gas...

Follow my very gassy day as I wake up around 3-4 am after farting myself awake and laying down trying to rip as much as I can before I have to go into work...and then continuing to rip massive farts as I get ready in the bathroom (keep an eye out for another cheek flapper ;) )

Once I get home after holding in about 20,000 pounds of gas pressure I lay back in bed to try to soothe my poor bloated and rumbly tummy, but eventually I decide to just get out of bed and go about my day. The farts were literally NONSTOP...once I sat down at my computer it became a bit of a hassle to keep getting up to record so I just filled my computer chair with warm, fetid dairy gas for the rest of the day...

It was so bad my housemate even asked "What is giving you so much gas?" after I came out of the bathroom...they have no idea that I'm making this kind of content hehe...

Here's a lil fart for ya

That green smoothie once again tore my guts up...my belly was gurgling and groaning as soon as I got done chugging that mix...and the gas came on really strong hehe. I'm sad to say that the effort my body put into digesting all that smoothie mix made me fall asleep for about two hours, during which I farted myself awake a few times.

After I got home from Easter dinner yesterday I decided to try to record my impromptu case of gas. Sadly I was mostly deflated after (not so subtly in spite of my best efforts) ripping ass all evening at my parents.

I’ve been craving Taco Bell if anyone wants to help fuel me 🤭 I thrive on compliments and treats 🥹