Just another Slytherin bitch

-Doesn’t button his jeans when he’s at home. What’s the point?

-Messy, messy sheets. They’re cozier that way.

-Reads muggle tabloids as a legitimate source of news. It’s important to stay updated, you know.

-Stretches out all of Harry’s sweaters so they cover his hands. Smacks people with the sleeves.

-Cried at The Notebook. Won’t admit it.

-Opens the windows at night so he can listen to the traffic.

-Pencil chewer. Finger tapper. Temple-rubber.

-Cat person. Dogs terrify him.

-Very good at braiding. He braids Harry’s hair when he sits in front of him.

-Needs reading glasses. Won’t admit it.

-He can’t cook but he can make a mean cocktail when given the chance.

-Can get on the good side of literally any employee at any store. The king of unfair discounts. They all love him. Harry hates it.

-Would rather listen to the rain or the sound of Harry while he sleeps than music.

-Writes poems. He never shares them.

-Wins every game of Balderdash he plays. Every single one.

scorpius: mic drop

Draco being the dramatic bitch we all know he is

Harry Potter is into jocks. Harry Potter is into jocks that, specifically, could kick his ass at his favorite sport.

And to both their surprise, Malfoy lunges forward and does just that. It’s rough. It’s desperate. But after a moment they stop. And they’re just standing there glaring at each other. Like their both so pissed that they did that.

Harry shoves Malfoy off of him and says, “Always knew you were a poof” and Malfoy snarls back, “Like you weren’t begging for it, Potter.” They walk in opposite directions and don’t talk about it again.

A few days later Malfoy is reading a Potions textbook in the eighth year common room and Harry flops down on the sofa beside him and proceeds to lay his messy, unwashed, fresh-from-Quidditch-practice hair on Malfoy’s lap.

Everyone around them stops what they’re doing to see what will happen. But neither Draco nor Harry make any comment and act like it’s the most normal thing in the world. Harry closes his eyes and acts like he’s gonna fall asleep. And Draco keeps reading his book.

After about five minutes Draco finally snaps, “When was the last time you washed your hair, Potter? I’ll have to throw these trousers out after this.”

And Harry, without opening his eyes, yawns and says, “Anything to get you out of them, Malfoy.”

“Look who’s a poof now.”

“Says the one with a hard on from just my head in his lap.”

“Git.”

“Prat.”

“Fuck off, Potter.”

Then Harry yawns again and Draco turns back to his book.

And then Harry legit falls asleep still with his head in Draco’s lap.

In Charms later that week, Malfoy insists on being Harry’s partner. They fight and say the nastiest things to each other the entire time. After class, they’re still fighting, but holding hands all the way to the Great Hall for lunch. When they part ways, Harry scowls and makes an obscene hand gesture while Malfoy gives him his best derisive sneer.

A few nights later, Harry wakes up to find Malfoy cuddled up to his side, fast asleep.

“Malfoy.”

No response.

“Malfoy.” he whispers a bit louder.

He prods the other boy’s shoulder who then wakes up with a start and immediately looks pissed.

“What.”

“How long have you been here?” Harry can’t help asking.

“Does it matter? Go back to sleep. It’s two in the morning for fucks sake.”

Malfoy lies back down, curling himself around Harry again, and closing his eyes.

Harry rolls his eyes, but then looks down at him for a moment. He can’t see too well in the dark and without his glasses, but Malfoy’s blonde hair and pale skin almost seem to glow. He can just make out the peaceful look on his face and for the first time ever, he sees Malfoy as Draco. An 18-year-old kid.

“Wait.”

Malfoy looks up, thoroughly annoyed. But before he can say anything, Harry catches his lips in a deep kiss. It’s open. It’s hot. It gains speed quickly. But all the while, still soft. And sweeter than Harry would have ever thought anything could be with Draco Malfoy.

Harry pulls away suddenly and lays his head back on his pillow. Slightly breathless and with a small smile on his lips he whispers, “Fuck.”

…haven’t we all…

………

OH COME ON DONT TRY AND ACT COY, PEOPLE. I know this is you right now as you read this sitting alone in your room probably :

Ligabus Filium (Tessa Crowley, 41.5k): Bdsm Drarry at its very best

It Started in the Shower (chickenlivesinpumpkin, 124k): So gloriously hot that all it takes is hearing “little cat” to make me shiver. Possessive, dominant Harry & sexy, sexy Draco.

Big Dick Come Quick (Calanthe, 204k): Basically one giant (heh) PWP featuring hung!Harry & size-queen!Draco, with an extra dose of feels and adorableness.

Unhook the Stars (jad, 72k): Draco’s a professional Dom & Harry takes it like a champ. The writing is fantastic, the sex is scorching, and Draco drives around in a yellow Lamborghini named the Honey Badger & terrifies Muggles.

How to Handle an Enemy & Turnabout is Fair Play (who_la_hoop, 18k together): The Slytherins play Truth or Dare. Epic wanking ensues. 

Sex, Lies, and Veritaserum (lettered, 18k): Veritaserum induced dirty talk about their deepest, most intimate fantasies. 

Bored (Vorabiza, 9.5k): The Gryffindors and Slytherins are trapped together, and Harry keeps them occupied by getting his dirty talk on.

Unknown Pleasures (birdsofshore, 10k): The Room of Requirements thoughtfully summons Draco & a wide variety of bdsm fuckery for Harry.

Rather Than Love (birdsofshore, 7k): Draco gives Veritaserum to Harry to make him discuss their sex life in front of strangers. 

Draco at Nineteen (birdsofshore, 5k): Draco’s turning 19 & having a difficult time of it, so future Harry (who’s dating Draco) uses a time turner to come visit him on his birthday & help him… relax. 

Endowment (dictacontrion, 11k): Finally, a hung!Draco fic! It’s so yummy- Draco spends most of it preparing Harry for his huge cock (aw yeah), and when they finally fuck, god. It’s electric.

Potter’s Parselprostate (and the Chamber of Secrets) (dictacontrion, 17,5k):  Draco fucks Harry to unlock his Parseltongue and get the map to the Chamber of Secrets. 

Simulacrum & Finders Keepers (slashpervert, 8k): Draco, being an enterprising gentleman, decides to make a replica of his cock (that’s linked to him, so he feels what it feels) & send it anonymously to Harry. 

Don’t Think Twice (firethesound, 28k so far): It starts with Harry spying on Draco wanking in the Prefects’ Bathroom & progresses in a most delicious manner.

Another Mask Behind You (lettered, 117k): Draco’s a prostitute and Harry unknowingly hires him (Draco came up with a potion that slightly changes his appearance). It’s hot hot hot.

IDK My BFF Hermione? (lettered, 19k): Draco wears eyeliner, leather, silver necklaces, and dances on tables. Harry finds this very intriguing. 

Hung Like a Horntail (lumosed_quill, 2k): Draco is determined to get up close and personal with Harry’s huge cock. #goals

Touch Me Fall (lumosed_quill, 23k): Harry hires Draco to try to get him out of his system. It works about as well as you’d expect.

It’s The Love of the Chase (that Created the Ride) (lumosed_quill, 14k): Harry and Draco are Auror partners who get off on the adrenaline rush and fucking in public.

Remote (Sara Holmes, 7.5k): Harry & Draco’s fight over the remote takes a most delicious turn.

Punishment (dysonrules, 15.5k): Draco and Harry make a bet over their Quidditch game, resulting in spanking aplenty.

Let Me See You Stripped (Down to the Bone) (traintracks, 24k): Harry & Draco are strippers who are paired up to dance together. The sexual tension is sizzling

Hurt for the Right Reasons (traintracks, 4.5k): Angry Quidditch shower fucking

Draco Malfoy is NOT Attractive & Harry Potter is an Arrogant Prick (sophiefrench77, 6.5k together): Despite both claiming to find the other repellent, Harry and Draco are unable to resist shagging like mad.

A Tale of Horns, Mating Rituals of the Winged Predator, Claws that Catch, Dragon Riding for Beginners (Pushdragon, 35k): Harry’s a professional Quidditch player and Draco’s preparing to go ride a dragon. Needless to say, Harry’s the one to ride a dragon here.

Inevitable as the Tide (cassiafrankincense​, 5k): Beautiful, emotional, intense sex that reads like poetry 

The Ties that Bind Us (Faith Wood, 28k): Harry and Draco are (literally) bound together, and put their proximity to good use.

Obsession (Faith Wood, 4k): Harry finds himself obsessed with Draco’s ass. Understandable 

Daydream Series (Faith Wood, 12k): Draco buys 100 Patented Daydream Charms featuring sexy Harry, and quickly becomes obsessed with them.

Three Potters (Faith Wood, 2k): Draco uses Patented Daydream Charms to shag three Harrys at once.

Preparation & Blush (closet_bound, 7.5k): Draco gives Harry an introduction to the glories of gay sex.

Making a Politician Shut Up: A Lover’s Guide (Lokifan, 7.5k): Harry helps Draco unwind from his day with the help of gags & spanking

While we’re on the topic, from my masterlist:

“Suffer The Children” oldenuf2nb NC-17, 32327 words Summary: Draco Malfoy has learned via painful experience that the least complicated way to go about things is to not allow himself to care—about anyone. After all, he’d tried that once without success. But now he finds himself thrust into a situation where maintaining the armour around his heart simply isn’t an option.

(except remote by sara holmes bc its been deleted from ao3? i couldn’t find it)

thank you @themalfoymanner @dictacontrion @ani-mage and of course @drarryking for this wonderfully smutty post 

and now i am making my way through other rec lists like dictacontrions and @potter-loves-malfoy rec lists. i just really love rec lists

all these fics were amazing and loved them all, but if anyone wants my thoughts on each one, or a more in depth look before they start a certain fic, feel free to ask or shoot me a message.