Please spread these words forever, Storyteller

call your girl Bluetooth Speaker the way I made a temporary connection with her that she will always remember

Just remembered i filmed myself brushing my teeth because i blindly trusted someone on the internet. All time low...

I thought this was fake, but no, it appears you cannot open the door to a Tesla model S from the outside if it's not powered. Somebody legit died because of this.

You go to a gentrified artisan burger joint and there's a burger called "The Budd Dwyer" for 14$

And if you don’t say you want it with “the works” they give you nothing but a crusty burger on a brioche bun that’s mashed to atoms with your first handling of it. Now, I ain’t one of them fancy-ass city folk you youngin’s are talkin’ about but I think I might know a thing or two about good country cookin’ and that just ain’t it. Keep your brioche. Keep your Dwyer. I’ll just take a Bud and head on down to the pasture, gnaw on a cow down there. That’s good country livin.

Love where you're taking this joke, but you should Google Bud Dwyer.

I’m tired.

At least he was an organ donor.

Never forget the guy who didn’t remember to hit anon before sending himself hate mail

Shaggy isn't even his name, its his nickname. Man's drowning in so much pussy they started calling him "fuckboy" in british

tumblr polls have amplified the human need to vote on things. this place just became the roman senate

i hate when a pump dispenser like shampoo or soap gets low and you have to jack it off and make it cum

tiktok is a biblical plague btw

everyone on this post saying shit like “uh bluh you can customize your algorithm!!1!!!” is MISSING the point. this person got it tho