im what the kids call... horrible

"hear me out" and it's a picture of the most fuckable building you've ever seen. c'mon now.

“hear me out” and it’s the fucking dildopolis

Plastic bong

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ohhhh shit. target is recalling their up & up baby wipes (fragrance free & fresh cucumber scented) because they're contaminated with Burkholderia cepacia complex and Burkholderia gladioli, multiple people are reporting discoloration & infections. i just got a call about it cuz i had purchased those but i've already gone through them 😅 so no refund for me. but im fine. if you have these they're saying you need to immediately stop using them and bring them back to target for a full refund. this bacteria can cause life threatening infections in children/infants and people with compromises immune systems (ESPECIALLY cystic fibrosis!!) and i know lots of other chronically ill people follow me!!!!

been playing a video game with my housemates lately and the other night I was trying to persuade my boyfriend in law to join me in hunting for the current boss in an underwater temple map and I truly got like. possessed. started out going "come on brother... it's all fine in the brine... we're all set in the wet..." and ended up saying shit like "nobody's frantic in the Atlantic... it's always mail call at the whale fall..." truly incomprehensible

thought y'all might like to know that last night he contributed "I'm gonna cream in the stream" and then hastily clarified that he just meant enjoying a delicious ice cream cone in the water

Hey op kinda buried the lead. This isn't just some illustration. ITS THE ABSTRACT.

one musruum..

i bet that mario and luigi dont get pussy

And? Do you?

we’re not talking about me right now