ok context. i ~13M really like this girl 14F (in love with might be a bit strong but seriously she’s so cool).

we’ve kissed before, but overall our relationship is just really confusing and complicated and i think she likes me back? but i don’t really know for sure?

we’ve known each other for about a year now, but we know each other well. she and her brother 16M have been helping me out ever since i ran away from home (yes, i know i’m young to be doing that but there’s a lot of pent up guilt there that i do not want to get into), and i’ve been living with them ever since

i know a year isn’t a long time but i feel like she and our other friends are the closest thing i’ll ever get to having a family again yk?

but i guess i’ve been really stressed recently, and we went to see a really shitty play together that was just awful, and it feels like she sees me as this immature little kid and not boyfriend material. which is fine!! like i don’t want to force myself on her i’m just stressed and anxious i guess

and we were talking about our relationship and i leaned in to kiss her and i guess it was the wrong moment.

she was a bit mad and left, and i feel terrible.

i feel like i shouldn’t have been try to force a conversation about this because she’s really stressed and confused too, and it was definitely a bad move to try and kiss her.

like, there’s a literal war going on, what was i thinking trying to talk about feelings?

also, in case some people are worried about the age gap: it won’t really matter in like ten years anyways, and technically i’m older than her (was frozen in ice 100 years ago, which might be worse but the point is i love her. that wasn’t my point. you know what my point is.)

Figured that since Ozai looked so young in his portrait, that must mean it was made shortly after his coronation, or thereabouts, so applying that logic here, ZuZu stills looks young and handsome. The dragons, I know, that event was meant to be kept secret, but counter argument, this painting doesn’t necessarily say, “Hey, Dragons are still alive—here’s a map!” It’s just a bit of artsy-fartsy majestic embellishment. Also, I feel like Zuko might want to rebrand the Fire Nation, just a little, you know, after the 100 year war. So instead of just pure fire iconography, he brings things back to their roots, aka, the dragon. More dragon iconography!!! In this portrait, Zuko isn’t the one firebending, it’s the dragons, the first Firebenders. And in the meantime, he’s holding out a White Lotus. Now, I tried to use my Google Fu to find out if there was ever any symbol in Japan or Korea or China that meant “peace,” but my search results came up empty, so I figured that perhaps the lotus could become their version of, say, the olive branch. A discreet and tasteful way to include such a major part of the final battle while having a double meaning. Also, take note of the fact that he’s holding it with BOTH hands. In Japan, when one offers a gift, you always do so with both hands. And while I know it may look a little strange, Zuko towering over his friends—bro—this was always going to be Zuko’s Firelord portrait. He was always going to be the main focus. He just wanted to also include his friends and commemorate the day the war finally ended/his coronation. Anyway, that’s all for now… hope that wasn’t too much… and if anyone has any ideas for how to make it even better, pls let me know.

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