(Pu’ar comes home to Yamucha’s swanky cabin when the semester lets out at Shapeshifting University)
Pu’ar: I see the two empty bourbon glasses in the sink … Have you been drinking with the foxes again?
Yamucha: (is at his tiny table eating Bachelor Chow with a spoon that looks so small in his garage of a fist, shirtless after sleep, appearing very much like a hairy middle aged man): Oh no … I just had some company over last night is all…
Pu’ar: You’re not still rebounding from when Tenshinhan broke up with you are you…
Yamucha: No no … Just a guy friend ….
Pu’ar: Oh well that’s good. Anyone I know?
Yamucha: Eh .. shoot Pu’ar .. it was just Vegeta is all…
Yamucha: Yeah … you remember before you left for school that he was starting to loosen up at Guy’s Night .. you know he can actually be pretty decent company if you’re willing to put the time in and drill past his unsociable and unseemly exterior…
Pu’ar: Yes I remember that but I can’t believe that you’re actually hanging out? Still? That was a while ago. He’s not, like, sick of you yet?
Yamucha: WOW. Really feeling the love Pu’ar.
Pu’ar: How is it that you’ve got Vegeta domesticated and hanging out with you??
Yamucha: Well, I’m just charming is all.
(silence. It feels tense for some reason.)
Pu’ar: I know you’re charming, but he’s not. How is he good company for you?
Yamucha: …Geez, I dunno. Why all the questions? You know you wouldn’t have to ask if you hadn’t left. Maybe see for yourself next time he’s over.
Pu’ar: You know I’m trying to get my Master’s -
Yamucha: And you can’t come back on the weekends?
Pu’ar: It’s tough breaking away from school every week like that, I can’t afford the distraction!
Yamucha: Well I’m sorry that I’m just a DISTRACTION from your VERY IMPORTANT LIFE GOALS.
Pu’ar: You know it’s not like that-!
Yamucha: I know, I know, I know, I’ve heard it. Look I’m- … I’m tired, okay? I didn’t sleep much last night. You’re back now, let’s .. let’s just move on.
Pu’ar: … “Next time he’s over,” huh? You think he’ll be back?
Yamucha: Presumably. Probably. Possibly. Maybe.
Pu’ar: …He come around often?
Ymaucha: (puts spoon down) …. Pu’ar….
Pu’ar: …You didn’t sleep much last night?
Yamucha: It’s not like that-
Pu’ar: Oh you think it fit to lie to my face now?
Yamucha: Oh you think it fit to accost me in my own cabin now?
Yamucha: My cabin, your cabin - Vegeta’s around more often than you are, is it his cabin now too?
Pu’ar: You can’t be ser- He’s married, you know!
Yamucha: Maybe. Not that you’d know. You’re always away at Two-Faced University.
Pu’ar: Yamucha, I’m sorry. I thought that I’d be good to go but now I see that I shouldn’t have left you alone. I didn’t realize that you were not handling well the breakup with Tenshi-
Yamucha: Don’t even say his name, this isn’t about him! I don’t want to hear his name. Look he’s a swell guy but I’m past him. He can go train in that waterfall all alone if he wants to so bad I’m not gonna stop him. I’m over him. This isn’t about him. I’ve moved on. I have other friends now.
Pu’ar: What are their names? Jack Daniels and Brandy?
Yamucha: QUIT IT PU’AR. You know I’m a Bourbon man now.
Pu’ar: Vegeta’s not your friend.
Yamucha: What do you know about friendship Pu’ar.
Pu’ar: I’m your best friend!
Yamucha: And Vegeta’s around more than you are!
Pu’ar: YOU CAN’T BE HAVING GAY SEX WITH VEGETA!
Yamucha: WHAT OF IT? WHY NOT?
Pu’ar: BECASUE! BULMA WILL KILL YOU!!!
Yamucha: SO? I’VE DIED BEFORE, I’LL DO IT AGAIN!
Pu’ar: (tearing up) I DON’T WANT TO LOSE YOU AGAIN!!!
Yamucha: (even though it hurts him to say) YOU ALREADY HAVE..!!
i dont know how to end this post
