TUB OF DOUGH

1.  A fresh bag full of McDonald's Double Hamburgers. 

2.  Stargazing at night.  

3.  Minecraft being like an infinite, living Lego world.   I have a map with a large city, a seaside town, several villages, many cabins, an ocean liner with rooms for 300+ people, a submarine, and massive open pit mine - all of it fully furnished and decorated, with hidden items and portals. 

4.  How soft I'm becoming all over... a soft, soft heaviness.

5.  Napping in the morning.

6.  Popcorn Chicken

7.  BIG deli sandwiches.  Size of your head-type sandwiches, loaded with meats, pickles, mustard, and whatever they put it them to make them the most delicious things on Earth.

8.  Pools - being in safe, shark-free water with room to float around and experience the sensation of weightlessness.

9.  How my nipples became sensitive and sensual for the first time once they started stretching out and fattening up.

10.  Eating until I'm exhausted.

11.  Movies that can make me silently cry every time I watch them.

12.  When a cat wants some love and attention and also doesn't want to slice you apart with razor blade paws.

13.  Going on drives on back roads and dirt roads to explore and take landscape photos.

14.  Learning the REAL lyrics to songs I've been singing along with incorrectly for decades...  "Thriller", "Bennie and the Jets", "Lay Down Sally"....  yeah, I was comically off...

15.  Movies that can make me giggle like a ninny each viewing.  "The Naked Gun", "Pee Wee's Big Adventure", "The Holy Grail"..

16.  TV episodes that can make me giggle like a little school girl during each viewing.   The Simpsons, Futurama, American Dad....

17.  Wasting countless hours on the internet.

1.  Ads for gasoline-fueled cars that feature windmills in the background.

2.  Geographically clueless people.   Mankind has one planet.  One.  We should know what it looks like and the basic information of every region. 

3.  People who ask questions and bather on during movies.

4.  The sorry state of:  The Discovery Channel, the Learning Channel, and the History Channel.

5.  How the first warm, beautiful day in Spring is always tainted by the smell of 4 month's worth of frozen animal poop thawing.

6.  Cold McDonalds food.

7.  How clothes over 5xl are designed - the design is simply made bigger and bigger with each size, including the neck hole, sleeves, and crotch... so at 8xl, the sleeves are baggy parachute pants, and the crotch is down past your knees and baggy enough to hold a beach ball.   

8.  The Walking Dead.  I used to love it, and now it's this boring sludge of talking about nothing and busting heads made of brittle fine china and CGI jelly.   I just don't give a shit about one single character anymore.

9.  Horror films that fall apart in the final act.

10.  Drivers that let in other drivers ahead of them, even though there is no traffic behind them.