[Redacted]

FUCK. honestly just FUCK. We missed a very important day yesterday.

what was yesterday, cat?

I’m not missing it this year.

i’m not procrastinating. i’m allowing the story to ferment. like kimchi. or a crime scene

chunnibyou guided meditation

Breathe in. *Feel* the demon energy welling up in your cursed eye. Breathe out. Relax your phantom dragon wings.

not to explain the joke but it's funny cause both chunni and meditation involve intense bodily visualization, notions of transformation and becoming and the question of selfhood, and overly serious affect. but the tone and cultural associations between them are radically different. meditation is taken seriously while chunni is absolutely not. and so the ideological function of the joke is to take meditation less seriously while taking chunni more seriously. and so they collide in the middle, a middle where their wreckage become accessible for what it is. that's why it hits.

I was just talking to @rednines about how this post bares humorous similarity to an actual ritual; the Stellar Transvocation from the Dragon Book of Essex. Down to mystically significant language regarding assuming the body of the Dragon.

i have a croissant related grievance

the entire appeal of the croissant is that it is a layered pastry item. it has a light flaky texture. the layers are in there specifically to create a fluffy, airy eating experience. that's the intention of the lamination process. having so many layers of butter and thin pastry dough make the croissant puff up when it's baked so that when you bite into it the pastry has a texture similar to puff pastry. the entire point is to fill the pastry with air. therefore any trendy hybrid variant of the croissant such the "cruffin" or the "cronut" or the worst offender of all the "croffle" which involve jamming the unbaked croissant or compressing it into a flat shape completely betray croissant as it was originally intended. they defeat the nature of the croissant by forcing it into something it was never meant to be, removing the unique core of its identity, killing its appeal and thus its entire reason for being. now am i saying you can't enjoy a cronut or croffle? of course i would not say this. you can enjoy any pastry you want to enjoy because it's your time on earth. i want you to enjoy your croffle. you should enjoy your croffle. also, you can commit any sin you like and i can't stop you nor do i want to. i won't hear your arguments because you don't need to convince me. but you must understand, as you eat it, that the croffle should not exist. it is a mistake. it is an insult not only to the croissant but to me as an individual. i am not french

This reads as someone with a strong moral code (people should be free to experience joy without arbitrary regulation, you don’t have to like what other people like but your discomfort is your own problem) trying to maintain their faith in a time of hardship (they keep doing weird shit to croissants)

ill be so honest this read of my character in such a fraught croissanted context has me tearing up with the raw joy of being seen

i really fuck with it when my oomfs start their posts in media res. they'll open it with a phrase like "it's just funny because..." and then i look at their blog to see what's funny and. nothing.

It's like how Beowulf opens with a call to attention.

posting is exactly like beowulf

give it up for what i didn’t know before by ada limón everyone please clap for what i didn’t know before by ada limón

“He would not fucking say that” except its the badly written source material so he did, in fact, say that

he did fucking say that but they don’t know him like i do

Grace is one of the most classic things to fall from

That and the monkey barrrsssss