uhhhhh hi smile

brazilians, imagine you’re a famous futebol player and are about to hit the winning penalty kick at the world cup finals. accidentally, the referee tosses a christian baby at you. would you still kick the baby to the goal and win the hexa championship, and sacrifice the christian baby?

NO OTHER PLANET IN OUR SOLAR SYSTEM GETS TOTAL SOLAR ECLIPSES!! THE SIZE AND DISTANCE OF OUR MOON FROM EARTH AND THE SUN MAKE THE PERFECT CIRCUMSTANCES TO GET TOTALITY!!! THE EARTH AND MOON ARE SOOOO COOL AND OF COURSE OUR SUN!! I LOVE LIVING ON EARTH I LOVE YOU EARTH I LOVE YOUUUUU MOON I LOVE YOU SUN

big tshirt that says MY INTERPRETATIONS MUST HAVE A STRONG BASIS IN THE SOURCE MATERIAL on the front and THIS IS FUN TO ME on the back

“mom coded” “sister coded” “wine aunt coded” what if she’s his friend instead. you’re actually allowed to be friends with women

I know that “fwiw” means “for what it’s worth.” I know that. But every time I read it, my brain translates it to “fwom what I wemembew”

I just can’t believe some of u are soooo young u didn’t experience the early 2000s at all like even briefly . U were born and ur mother door dashed you home from the hospital

actually i was in the NICU for a couple weeks after being pieced together by surgeons but whatever lmao

That’s because she used klarna. To pay through 4 easy installments with no interest

english major brain: words can evolve and develop as a society goes on. the way a word is used is its definition. it's pointless to hold onto the idea of right vs wrong words human brain: THAT IS NOT WHAT LARP MEANS!!!!!

Larp is the most immersive, passionate, creative, and knowledgeable nerdy community I have ever had the privilege of being a part of. How the hell did it end up being used as an insult to mean "fake fan"?! Linguistically, it doesn't even make sense either cause it's not a word; it's an acronym. Live action role player has no place being used instead of poser, phony, faker, or any of the other myriad of words we already have for this kind of situation. And the only excuse I've seen people use when this is pointed out is some bull along the lines of "it sounds funnier to say larp". Good to know you value the sound of a word over the fact you're using the most dedicated people a fanbase can have as an insult intended to mean the opposite.

Friends, romans, people who are nonbinary except at work, lend me your ears,

WTF this is masterful, 10/10.

Other people have said this in notes, but the Bulwer-Lytton contest involves writing the most absurd opener you can think of and submitting it to the contest. It's not a judgment like the Razzies or the bad sex in books award or something; it's a game. Diana Murtaugh of Baltimore is to be congratulated for this win.

i just think it's kind of cool that it's basically impossible to cut off both of your own hands by wielding the knife yourself. like a snake eating its own tail or some shit.