uhhhhh hi smile

Friends, romans, people who are nonbinary except at work, lend me your ears,

WTF this is masterful, 10/10.

Other people have said this in notes, but the Bulwer-Lytton contest involves writing the most absurd opener you can think of and submitting it to the contest. It's not a judgment like the Razzies or the bad sex in books award or something; it's a game. Diana Murtaugh of Baltimore is to be congratulated for this win.

i just think it's kind of cool that it's basically impossible to cut off both of your own hands by wielding the knife yourself. like a snake eating its own tail or some shit.

kind of hate my stupid caustic pussy for dissolving my underwear over time but it's kind of cool, like, scientifically

Yknow when you see a post and you're like "oh I have to reblog this for The Mutual" and then you scroll up and you see that the one who reblogged it is The Mutual

God Bless Our Troops

They hot glued a spring to a clam and gave it full control over the water supply

people act like this college shit is hard but i used AI to generate me a medical license and have bee ndoing surgery on newborns for 6 months

Banger post from the concept of homophobia

hi yes thats my name

Your name is not the concept of homophobia

My parents were very cruel