A shit filled ((quite literally)) one shot.
So quick story, me the dm decided to make a fun goblin one shot for my players. Just wanted to do one for the funsies and to try out some if the Tasha's classes.
So its a group of 5 players, and me the dm. One of them is my wife, who's character I made for her since she didn't have the time. I made her the new tentacle warlock class from Tasha's fathomless I believe it's called, just cause hey you can have fun with tentacles right?
Well...she decides that all of her tentacles...are made out if poop. Yup. And she decided for some reason she had been collecting everyone's poop for some reason. Don't worry we'll get to that.
So the one shot was a bunch of goblins in a village who had to go and collect a magical orb in a bathhouse in the nearby human town. Because reasons.
So they get into the city by having all of them being in a trench coat and somehow rolling high enough to convince the guards they were a normal human. Totally normal.
So they get to the bathhouse and have to fight a Bathhouse Drake, third party creature from Kobold Press's Creature Codex. They fight and beat the drake collecting the orb and escaping using the bath drain nearby to take the sewers home.
One thing I didn't mention was this goblin clan the players are from are called the coach penetrators. No one is sure if that is a sexual thing, or if it's because of the hatred of the local kobold clan that they hate, and in turn hates them. And of course they run into the kobolds in the sewers.
Hkwever they do hear them before running into them, and hear that the Kobolds want the same orb they want. So the players have a great idea. Collect as much poop as they can in the sewers... and make a SHIT ORB to give to the Kobolds.
So they run into the kobold and there are 5 normal Kobolds, and one Swolbold, again Creature Codex monster. And to avoid a fight, the players convince them they will give them the shit orb...in exchange for poop from the swolbold. AND THEY FUCKING SUCCEED. AND COLLECT THE SWOLBOLD POOP.
So after the tentacle poop warlock collects the Swolbold...shit, she hears a voice in her mind... "Good, you've collected enough my servant. Ha hah!" With a Mickey mouse accent.
So they return to the village successful, with the actual orb, which can heat their mud baths and rewarm their soup.
However there is a little bit more to the ending. Where my wife's character, with all the shit she created, made a shit pentagram and use it to summon the ultimate shitlord to this world. MICKEY FUCKING MOUSE.
"This world is mine now... Ha Hah!"
But yup. That is the one shot. I know it's long but I figured I'd share this story.
TLDR; my players are bunch of goblins who use shit to avoid a fight, and then use more shit to summon the ultimate shitlord Mickey Mouse.
