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if i look back, i am lost

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hello vonnie
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@dontcxckitup
Total drafts: 1
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Incorrect MI6 Quotes:ย 0
ABOUT || RULES || OPEN STARTERS || MEMES

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Ralph Fiennes
Ralph Fiennes
Ralph Fiennes
// Listening to Taylor Swift while making a painting of Henry Irving.
What a time to be alive.

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// God I hate this. Now that I have the outlines I have no fucking clue what to do with that drawing. Pure pencil? B&w brush pens?? Just black???
Ralph Fiennes Coriolanus
Sir Henry Irving reciting Henry VIII (1898)

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Rachel Weisz as Summer Hartley in Definitely, Maybe (2008) dir. Adam Brooks
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Gareth spoke her name and her spoke it gently enough to pull her, even for an instant, from that catastrophic maelstrom of bereavement.
She suddenly realized herself, looking down to the IV she'd torn from herself and taking a step back towards Gareth, towards safety, as she cowered from the nurse.
"I can replace itโ"
"No," the nurse answered, not unkindly. "Lay back down. You need your rest, Mrs. Mallory. Let me."
Vera nodded mutely. She allowed the nurse to replace her line.
When the nurse finally left them, Vera turned her attention to Gareth. The pain in her eyes was simply impossible to miss. She was not wasting her energy on trying to hide it. "I'm trying, Gareth. I'm trying." Her voice cracked. She leaned her head back against the hospital pillow and tried.
Vera was silent, pensive for a long time. For some, she stared determinedly up at the tiny dots in the ceiling plaster, but for most, her eyes remained shut. She swept tears away, but not for long. After the fourth or fifth swipe, she gave up on that.
"I want confirmation." She swallowed. "I need confirmation before I give up on him. I just... I can't abandon my husband there's a possibility that he's still... Alive. Do you understand? Do you understand what I need?"
His gaze darted over to the nurse when he once again called Vera "Mrs Mallory", and he couldn't help but think that it actually had a nice ring to it. Of course, though, he also knew it was better to not get used to it - especially because he didn't think calling her by that name mad anything easier for Vera right now.
Only when she lay back down in bed, Gareth finally sat on the chair again, reaching out to gently take her hand in his. The grip loose, so she could just pull her hand out if she didn't want him to touch her. With his other hand he tenderly wiped the tears from her cheeks once she had given up doing it herself. It broke him to see her like this. Usually Vera was the strong, content woman always with a remark on her lips. Seeing her like this, though...
Gareth nodded his head. "I do." And he did understand. Hell, when he had been told his wife had died, he had wanted to see her. He had needed the confirmation that it was really her, that they hadn't made a mistake, and even then, standing in front of her body, his mind had refused to fully accept the fact. "I will help you. I won't leave your side, Vera, I will...go with you and do everything you need me to do - unless you ask me to leave. Because I won't."

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She bit her lip as she watched him start to calculate how to get up. With a glance above her, she wondered how they would actually get out of here. This wasnโt like the movies and some grand escape plan. That was survival.
When she turned back around, Ophelia saw him jump and reach the edge of the opening. She bent down, carefully using her good arm to do her best to help pull him through. Thankfully he was able to do a lot of it himself too.
โWhat do we do now? Do weโฆ climb the cables up? Is that even an option?โ Thatโs what they seemed to do in movies at least. Just above her seemed to be the doors to the floor they were caught between. Maybe that was something. It could at least get them to stairs and have an easier out. โWhat about that?โ
Once he had managed to pull himself up with Ophelia's help, he crouched down on the lift and closed the lid. Just to be on the safe side. Then his gaze followed Ophelia's, darting up the cables, then over to the door. They did have to calculate and not run into this head first. They were still being under attack, and those people could easily wait for them outside the lift doors. Which meant, the stairs probably weren't all too safe, either, considering neither him nor Ophelia had a gun on them. Well, to say the situation was tricky, would have been an understatement.
"We don't know what's behind those doors," M concluded. "The cables aren't safe, I..." he frowned, glancing at the walls. "You see those?" He pointed his finger at the walls. "They are some sort of ladder for maintenance staff. They would be safer, though...I suppose not any easier to climb. We could try and climb one or two floors up and then try for the door." M looked at Ophelia again, then her arm. "Do you think you can actually climb?"
โWell, I could certainly do with five minutes here or there to take a break when Iโm not assisting you. Villiers and Tanner sometimes make my head feel as if itโs spinning with all their needs.โ Not that she minded too much, it made her day go by faster. However, it still proved to be a hectic day when she felt pulled in several directions.
At his laugh, Ophelia smiled wider. It was good to see him more relaxed now than she often saw him back at Six. โLarry? Oh, absolutely heโd do a better job. I think we should turn it over to him at this point anyway. Heโs seen, what, six different PMs? Might as well, heโd be more qualified than them Iโm afraid.โ
"That cat probably knows more state secrets than anyone else in the entire country," he joked, before becoming more serious again. "Look. You are allowed to tell them if it gets too much. We are all just human, we need breaks, we need some time to ourselves." M shook his head. "Sometimes...just...leave. Go outside for ten minutes if the world isn't burning. Of course stay in reach and keep your phone with you, but if it's just to get them coffee: I hereby give you permission to tell them you can't at the moment." He offered Ophelia an encouraging smile.