Tealeaves and Thorns

There was a but coming. Horatio could tell by her tone. It wasn't her agreeing that it was funny, it wasn't her seeing the humor in it. There was sarcasm in her voice. There was vexation and hurt, but he didn't dare say anything yet this time. He waited. He waited and let her say everything she needed to say. He waited to let her get all of her frustration out because he knew, he knew a lot of this was her hormones from the pregnancy. Which she had warned him about and he'd been prepared for it. Or rather, he thought he had been. It was just different when he was the cause of her vexation and hurt. Something he'd been doing good avoiding. Until now... clearly.

But he wasn't going to run. He wasn't going to walk away. God, no. He was going to stay right here with her and let her get it all out. he was going to stay and make it right. She needed understanding and patience and he was one of the most patient men in the world and this, not even this would change that.

Being called a liar, normally, would upset him. It'd make him feel hurt, but he knew she didn't mean it. He knew it was the hormones talking, and so he didn't take it to heart, but it didn't mean he wouldn't reassure her either, because he knew that's what she also needed in this moment. Reassurance, understanding and patience. Which he had plenty to give her. Always for her.

"You know me, sweetheart, I would never lie to you." He reminded her gently, head tilted as he watched her, not moving towards her just yet, but not putting more distance between them either. He let out a soft chuckle, his eyes never leaving her. "You are my whole world, after all." Horatio stated without a second thought, which probably wasn't the greatest of things to say right now, but she usually loved when he talked about how beautiful she was and how important she was to him. Probably not at this precise moment, though, but still. Nor was his question about how long he'd have to go without touching her, but it was his way of acknowledging that he messed up and that he was prepared to do anything and everything to fix it.

That and his chuckle. Why was he chuckling? Was he chuckling because she was so fat it was getting comical. That she was so large. Absolutely being a planet was the funniest thing in the world apparently. A scowl settled on her face.

She actually rolled her eyes when he said about his appetite for her being unending. The look on his face, god, like he thought a suave line would do the trick. Him and Maddie had both teamed up against her because they thought all this was hilarious and what was next. Everyone else was brought in on the great joke that was Maria right now?

"I love you." He echoed without hesitation, because he wanted her to know, needed her to know, that he had meant it. That he didn't say it just because she did. He said it because he wanted to, because he meant it. Because he was deeply, deeply, in love with her. It was a love so real, so profound, that it consumed him daily. Since their first kiss, and even before that, she'd occupied his mind every day. His dreams, too, even, and rarely did he dream, but when he did, he dreamt of her. Every morning he looked forward to either waking up with her, or seeing her the second he got to the university and every evening, he looked forward to seeing her after classes and falling asleep with her in his arms. The mornings, or nights, they were apart, all he could think about was the next time he'd see her. There was this... emptiness within him he felt without her. It was the unmistakable feeling that the brightest part of his day was missing.

It was love. Everything he felt with her, and without her, was love. An all consuming, life changing love that Horatio Caine had never experienced before. He'd never felt anything like this with, or about, anyone else, and he knew, he knew in some ways it was dangerous, it was risky, because of that power imbalance between them at school and because of the difference in age, or rather, he used to think it was. Because she had made him start to see differently. Because she had a way with quieting the doubts in his mind. He'd spent so long convincing himself that he needed to stay away from her for her sake, but then she'd reach for his hand or smile at him and that fear would dissipate.And Maria knew. She knew what she wanted. Even with the years between them, Maria was capable of making her own decision, she was capable of knowing what she wanted and what was good for her.

With everything that the two of them had in common even with the age difference, with how happy they were when they were together and how they couldn’t stand even the thought of being apart, how could a love like this be wrong?

It… wasn’t.

What they felt, what this was between them, it was real and strong and beautiful. It was... everything. And he couldn't keep the words to himself any longer. It didn't feel too soon. It felt right. It felt right to tell her that he was in love with her.

"You've given me everything already, sweetheart. Because you've given me you." Horatio assured her, not wanting her to think she had to give him anything else. Not wanting her to think that she, that her love, wasn't enough because it was. It was everything to him. She was everything to him and he needed her to know that.

Then she was kissing him. She was kissing him with that love that she had declared out loud just seconds ago, pouring every piece of her heart into that single moment, and he was kissing her in return. Pouring every bit of his heart into it, too. A kiss with that same love and devotion that she kissed him with. His tongue pushed against her lips, begging for entrance, and when he felt her lips open against his, his tongue was on hers instantly. He moaned into her mouth and pulled her closer, pulled her against him until there was little to no space left between them. He kissed her deeply and passionately, kissed her feverishly.

Her breath was coming out in soft pants when he pulled away, when he asked her what she wanted. The question was easily answered. It was him, she wanted him. She wanted everything with him. She wanted them to have a life, a family, a house together. She wanted a future that was full of him, of this, of this house and this feeling.

"You." Maria said and then he was kissing her again. She pulled back just slightly. "I want you-" She was blushing then because what she wanted was so much deeper than just him. She wanted them to be intimate, she wanted to be connected to him. She wanted to take the final step, she wanted to make love to him.

Horatio's smile was wide as can be when he presented his gorgeous fiancée with the keychain he bought for her the second he saw it at the store. He thought it'd be a cute, funny gift for her - something that might her smile and even laugh, one of their many inside jokes and something they laughed about only days ago when they found out she'd been craving, and sneaking, the dreaded cereal she had once loathed with every fiber of her being.

"Mhm, I did. I haven't given it to her just yet." He said, because he wanted Maria to see it first. But the way she looked down at it... something seemed... off. She was quiet for a good several seconds and he wasn't sure if it was because she was studying it or if something had happened today while he was out. But something was wrong. Maybe... maybe this wasn't a good time to have given her the gift, maybe he should have--

"Fantastic, this is fantastic. Now I can walk around with a constant reminder that I'm craving something awful and it's making me fat like all my cravings are. Constant reminder that I'm turning into a bloody fruit loop.

Horatio's heart dropped into his stomach. Shit.

"Wait. Wait, sweetheart, h-hold on, that--" Horatio was panicking a little now and he looked down at the keychain, then at her, and quickly pocketed it. What the hell did he do? He really should have thought this over. She hated the cereal. She hated it. More than she hated anything, really, and he really screwed up. "That wasn't my intention, sweetheart. I didn't mean-- I only thought--" except he didn't. He didn't really think, now did he? He'd never seen her so upset. Well, not with him as the cause. "You're not turning into a fruit loop and they're not making you fat. Our son is getting bigger, that's all, sweetheart." He reassured her. "You're beautiful. You've always been beautiful and you will always be beautiful." He wasn't just saying that to make her feel better. To fix the damage he just caused. He meant his words. He always did.

Fuck.

"You thought it would be funny, you and Maddie and and that's fine because in a way it is funny. It is funny that I have no control over my body and now you're lying to me and and and..."

"By the way you don't have to lie to me about being beautiful. I am fully aware of the entire planet I am turning into because your son and apparently me have an unending appetite for ridiculous things." Maria stopped when he said about how long he'd have to go without touching her. Logically she knew he was being nice but she was completely frazzled and feeling it and it really was a testament to how safe she felt with Horatio that she felt safe enough to have a moment like this. She was going to feel terrible about it later though.

He nodded when she agreed to wait. He knew they were both very eager to be married as soon as possible, but he wanted this to be the wedding of her dreams. The wedding she may have dreamed about when she was a young girl. The wedding she dreamed about even now. She deserved to have the wedding of her dreams and Horatio was going to give that to her. He was going to do everything in his power to make it the best day of her life, or at least one of them. They still had a lot of planning to do, though. Not just for the wedding, but for the baby, too. There was a lot to do, but given the baby was going to come before the wedding, they needed to prepare for that first. Buying all of the necessary furniture, getting the walls painted, and buying decorations to match, but they mostly waiting to find out if they were having a girl or a boy.

He laughed with her when she remembered Felix the cat. He hadn't ever seen the cartoon, but he just knew the name and that it was another older show. "Yes, ma'am." He laughed more as he scratched over the name until the letters were completely covered. "Well, Joseph I think sounds okay, but Joe sounds a little different, I suppose. I guess I'm not quite sure how to explain it." He chuckled, then added, "No Karen." They were both in agreement on that and after she closed the magazine, he closed the name book and set it aside before moving himself down so he could lovingly kiss her belly, his warm fingers caressing it just the same.

It was how excited he looked, how ready he looked to meet them. It was how much he already loved them, how much he loved every little thing, how he loved everything that was to come.

She nodded, trying to swallow back the tears that were glazing her eyes and threatening to fall.

He never even thought he'd ever get to celebrate Father's Day.

But he was. Because of them, he was a father.

"I'm sure, sweetheart. I think I'd like to spend the day here with you two and maybe go shopping later in the week. It'll also give us a little time to decide what we want to shop for first and where we'll want it to go in the nursery." They'd need a dresser, a crib, a chair, a changing station - all sorts of things that were necessary inside of a nursery. Things Horatio had been researching and before buying all of that and bringing it home, it would be best to first decide where they wanted it. If they wanted the crib in the middle of the room or against the wall, if they wanted the changing station next to the window. God, he couldn't wait to go shopping for all of that, though. And now that they knew they were having a boy? They could plan even more for it. Color scheme, decorations - he was over the moon about this and it showed. It showed in his eyes how his mind was thinking about it all, and then Maddie was asking about finding seashells and painting them, making him smile even more. She seemed alright with not going shopping today.

He couldn't help but chuckle at how quickly she fired off all of her questions, seeming more excited about going to the beach and swimming than she had been about shopping. "It wouldn't be a day on the beach without collecting some seashells, now would it?" He grinned. He loved collecting seashells with her. Seeing how her face lit up at every single one she found, even the broken ones. "I think we can do all of that. But on one condition," Horatio said, his grin widening at the way Maddie tilted her head, waiting for the condition. God, she looked adorable.

"You share all those hermit crab facts with me while we're collecting the shells. Deal?"

Maddie's face lit up. "Deal!" She giggled happily, kicking her little feet. She loved sharing the things she learned and she really loved when her Daddy and Momma wanted to hear all about them! It always made her want to learn more!

"The, uh, swimming like a mermaid thing, though... I think she might be better teaching you that than me." He chuckled, not quite sure he had what it took to swim like a mermaid. "Momma's beautiful like a Mermaid. Far more beautiful, actually." He said, meeting her gaze, then, with a warm smile. He didn't even want to imagine himself attempting to swim like a mermaid. He'd look ridiculous, he was sure of it, but if it made them smile...

"Then, even though it seems like it's already decided- we'll spend the day here, and you know, on the beach." Maria smiled at the two of them and she maybe even blushed a little as Horatio called her beautiful, she gave him a look that said everything. That said she loved him, that said she'd be kissing him right now if they weren't sat across from the table from each other. That said she adored him for complimenting her and that also said he was flattering her far too much.

Maria put a hand on her belly. "Of course I'll come with you. You'll need someone to carry your bucket." She teased. "I'm going to need to put some extra stretchy pants on though, or a dress, because your little brother has gotten bigger over night and now momma doesn't think she can fit in a lot of her pants."

Maddie giggled when Maria stuck her belly out and patted it.

"I think you should wear a pretty dress momma and then, hmmm and then maybe when we go shopping we can get you some new ones. I can help you choose." Maddie offered, and then she got up from her chair and moved towards Maria putting her hands on her belly and leaning in talking to Nicky. "Now, you listen to me in there okay. Don't get any bigger, not until momma can buy her pants, okay."

Maria gazed down at her smiling and ran her fingers through Maddie's hair.

"I would love for you to help me choose." Maria said. "And you know, Nicky has to listen to you because you're his big sister. Just like the boys have to listen to Erin. And he is listening, I can feel him moving."

"Can I feel him momma?" Maddie said moving her hands around his bump.

"It'll be any day now I promise. You know you're going to have to pick some music for him to listen to as well. He'll be able to hear it."

His grin turned into a warm smile when she mentioned Sunday morning cartoons, his mind thinking about it. “I’d like that.” He said, his voice barely above a whisper, sounding thoughtful and hopeful. Because he would. He would love being all cuddled up with Maddie watching the cartoons he used to love as a kid. Seeing her enjoy them, giggling when something funny happened, gasping when it was surprising and just always smiling. God, he could envision it so clearly, so easily and it showed in the way he went quiet with that tender smile on his face.

And it grew even more when they started to talk about the wedding. Images of that day now filling his mind. Maria looking absolutely breathtaking in her dress, walking down the aisle, towards him, their eyes meeting across the room and staying on each other the entire time. Never leaving, never straying. Not even for a second. Maddie having left a path of flower petals, looking just as beautiful in a matching dress of her own. The sharing of vows, slipping on their rings, kissing, dancing, cutting the cake - all of it. He could see it all so clearly and it was making his heart beat harder. It was making him feel warm all over, making that smile reach his eyes that were shining with love and excitement. God, he couldn’t wait.

He wanted to marry her as soon as they were able. He wanted to marry her as soon as possible, but he wanted her comfortable. He wanted her to be able to enjoy the day without becoming easily exhausted and without the risk of illness that came with being pregnant. He wanted this day to be perfect for her. To be exactly as she envisioned and hoped for. She deserved that. She deserved everything.

“Then we’ll wait. As soon as you’ve recovered, we’ll marry.” He said, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. Because it wasn’t just after she’s given birth, it would be after she’s had time to recover. He wanted to make sure she felt well enough on their wedding day. And he was fully prepared to do everything possible to make her recovery smooth, too. He’d make sure she got all the rest she needed. He’d was even thinking about taking some time off of work so he could stay home with her and help with the baby, maybe a couple weeks if his team could manage. Which he believed they could. They were more than capable. It wouldn't just allow Maria some time to rest, but it would allow them some time as a family.

He wrote down Noah and Ethan, then wrote down Sawyer and Theodore, as well. Theo and Teddy for short, which he did like, but when she said Felix, he couldn't help but grin. "Isn't there, um, isn't there a famous cartoon cat named Felix?" He asked, then laughed. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. It's the first thing that came to mind." Which meant they probably wouldn't be using that one either. Or maybe it would still be an option. He wrote it down just in case. "Isn't it interesting? How some names are more fitting for certain generations than others? Joe is another that comes to mind. Karen, too." He wasn't quite sure how to explain it, but Maria would understand given what she said about the name Ron.

"We'll wait." Maria nodded because she knew he was right; they were both right. It would be better; it'd be more fun and less stress too. He was right about the recovery too because she hadn't actually thought about recovery. About how there was additional time after giving birth, probably because when she'd given birth to Maddie she hadn't felt like she had that time, she still been recovering from Adam, and then there'd been court and preparing for that on top of being a new mother. It wasn't like she had chance to really take stock. She just had to get on with things, even with her dad and Harvey there.

"Oh god, there is a cat called Felix, good catch." Maria laughed, shaking her head and closing the magazine for a minute as she looked over at him. "Veto it, take it off and scratch it out," She said. "Joe? Do you think? I've never minded Joe or Joseph, what makes you think of it as a for a certain generation?" Maria asked him curiously. "I do agree about Karen though."

When Horatio moved to press his lips to her belly, Maria put a hand on his head, carding her fingers through his hair and smiling down at him.

So now that they knew, now that they were together, there was no having to hold themselves back. There was no wondering. There was no uncertainty. And so, they were always flirting. They were always touching, always kissing - they were constantly physically affectionate and inseparable. They felt comfortable with each other, and with that, bold and daring. He often said things that made her blush, that made her weak and the knees, and he loved it. He loved being able to elicit those reactions from her like he was doing now, just with his words, and she was doing the same to him. She was a lot bolder than she used to be, both with her words and her actions and he loved it so fucking much. She was sexy as hell and he wanted her to know that, he wanted her to feel and believe how beautiful and sexy she was.

The air between them had changed a little, but not in a bad way. No. It felt charged. Thanks to their flirting and the way she was acting, her silence and how she was shifting in her seat now and then hadn’t gone unnoticed by him. She was turned on, wet between the legs and the thought made his shorts tighten. Even more so when he began to talk about having her right here, right now in the table. The way she looked between it and him made his cock twitch, wondering if she was actually considering it. He was resisting the urge to slip his hand underneath the table and feel exactly what that image, that idea, did to her but then she shook her head, saying not here and she was right. He knew he was right but fuck, arousal was a dangerous thing. It made one’s judgement foggy and yet… yet they were still maintaining eye contact. She was still shifting in her seat, like she was still thinking about it.

And so was he.

The way he was talking about her naked and spread out, Maria swallowed. A noise left her when he talked about her pulling him in for a kiss, when he talked about touching her. It was involuntary and almost a whine. Breakfast was forgotten as she just stared at him, her eyes starting to fill with lust and longing.