Tealeaves and Thorns

He could feel his nerves starting to calm, the beating of his heart with them, and he let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. He suddenly felt better about this whole thing, less anxious, less scared, and even though that could change the second they walked into the courtroom and saw him, he also knew that with her by his side, he could do anything. There was no doubt in his mind about that. She was his greatest source of strength.

“Big game. Yeah.” He nodded, which was a pretty fair analogy considering how important it was to win this thing. Not that the trial would finish today because it was only the start, but the first day of trial would be just as important as the last. And that actually reminded him of the upcoming big game tomorrow night. The final playoff game that would either get them into the championship game or end their season and god, he hoped it was the former. And he really hoped that the trial, whatever happened today, wouldn't throw him off his game tomorrow. He needed to be at his absolute best for the final playoff game. He didn't want to let his team down... or Maria.

When her hands moved to his tie, he arched one brow and looked down before smiling when he saw her undo the top button button of his dress shirt, followed by fixing and straightening his tie. Already, he felt better. He hadn't realized how uncomfortable the buttons had been until she undid that top one, easing some of the pressure and tightness on his throat. He felt like he could breathe a little easier now and he nodded, leaning into her hand when she touched his cheek. It felt incredibly intimate. Her fixing his tie like that and in that moment, he could see this happening again. He could see this in their future. When he was getting for work in the morning or if he had some big event with the precinct... and it wasn't until she spoke again that Horatio was pulled from his thoughts once more, this time they weren't ones that made him uneasy or anxious or agitated. But rather the opposite.

"Yeah." He nodded, threading his fingers with hers before they exited the bedroom and headed for his mom's car. He let Ray sit in the front so he could sit in the back with Maria, holding her hand the entire time - keeping himself grounded and anchored with her touch, with her presence. The car ride was mostly quiet, awkwardly so and he wished they'd been able to ride with Maria's parents instead, but he knew his Mom needed him and he'd already spent enough time being distant that it started to eat at him. He didn't want to be angry with her. They needed each other today.

Once at the courthouse, they exited the car and he stopped to look up at the large building in front of them, his hand squeezing Maria's as though to keep himself grounded. After a moment, he started looking around. Like he was looking for something or someone. Was he already here? Was he--

"Horatio." Hearing his name, Horatio quickly turned, only to find it was Nick that had called him. By his side was Trudy, Harvey and even Al. "Ray. Madison." Nick greeted them with a warm smile and Madison smiled in returned. Ray nodded and Horatio managed a small smile, his hand still threaded with Maria's.

"I wanted to let you know that Daniel is inside." Nick informed them and Horatio tensed just hearing his name. "Remember, do not say a word to him. He isn't allowed to say anything to you, either. If he does, say nothing." Not that Nick thought they'd willingly go speak to him, but he knew Daniel. He'd likely try to provoke them into doing or saying something. "The three of us will be seated at the Plaintiff table," he looked at Horatio and Madison. "Ray, Maria, Trudy, Al and Harvey will be seated right behind us."

The only reason Ray wasn't sitting with them was because even though he'd witnessed the abuse, he hadn't received it in the way Horatio and Madison did, but he was still going to be called as a witness. Something Horatio wanted to protect him from, but Ray insisted. And both Nick and Harvey agreed it would help the case. It made sense to Horatio, but he just... he wanted to protect his little brother. Keep him safe. But he knew, and understood, the importance of Ray being a witness on the stand.

"It isn't open to the public, so it will just be us in there. Okay?" Nick told them and Madison seemed relieved. Horatio nodded. He hadn't said much, but he was listening to everything Nick had told them. "Are you ready?"

"Yes." Madison answered first and then looked to Horatio, running her hand down the back of his head. "Horatio?"

"Yeah." He nodded and inside of the courthouse they went.

They entered the large building and it was bustling with people. Some at work, others likely here for other trials and they stopped in the lobby until they were directed with where to go. They turned down the hall, heading for the courtroom, itself and were stopped just at the end of the hall right after turning.

And it took only a second for Horatio to realize why.

Because there he was. Standing at the door of the courtroom, waiting to be taken inside. Dressed in a suit and tie, instead of the prison attire, and across the hall, they locked eyes. His father was looking right at him and Horatio felt his jaw tighten, at the same time his hold on Maria's hand tightened, too.

Madison looked away, visibly uncomfortable and Ray looked pissed. Harvey even noticed because he decided to step in front of Ray, as though silently trying to prevent him from doing or saying something that would land him, and this entire case, in trouble.

Horatio didn't look uncomfortable. He didn't look scared. No. If anything, he felt angry, too, especially when his father had the nerve to smirk at him. Was he fucking serious? He was smirking?

In that moment, a renewed strength filled Horatio. A determined look settled in his eyes and he felt an unshakeable resolve take hold of him. If looks could kill, his father would be six feet underground right now.

"H." Al called, placing his hand on his shoulder. "You good?"

Horatio's body was almost rigid, still glaring at his father in the distance until he disappeared into the courtroom. "Yeah. I just want to get this done." He said, ready to help throw his father in prison for everything that he'd done to them, to his family. He'd make damn sure that he never came near them again.

That was never going to happen again. She was always going to be here. She knew, given what he wanted to do as a career, that she might not be able to keep him safe, keep him unhurt and always keep him happy. She knew though, she would always be here. He would never, ever have to be alone in those things. She would never let him be alone and she would always do her very best to bring him back to being happy.

Maria kept her hand in his all the way, squeezing every once in a while to let him know that she was still there. That she had him.

When Maria heard that Horatio's dad was already here, there was an anger that simmered inside her. She didn't feel nervous, she just felt angry. She felt a need for justice in her chest. When they actually saw him, that anger bubbled up and Maria had to remind herself that she also needed to be calm. As much as she wanted to march up to Daniel Caine and give him a piece of her mind, she absolutely couldn't.

Instead, Maria looked at Horatio, she studied his face. Squeezing his hand in return. The weight of the moment, the situation, didn't call for words and so they were all waiting in relative silence. Apart from Harvey, Nick and Al who seemed to have their heads together about something. Some last minute notes or something Maria figured. Her dad and Harvey had not stopped working on the case since they'd taken it, and she'd even helped where she could.

When they got to move into the courtroom and he hesitated, Maria put a hand on his chest when he kissed her, when he pressed his forehead against hers.

"I love you, okay?" She smiled at him. "I'm right here and I've got you, not matter what happens. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."

Gasping, he quickly reached over to his nightstand to turn on the light, then he turned back around to Maria - and froze. She was bleeding. It took him a moment to realise that there hadn't been an intruder, that Barney hadn't bitten her. To realise that this was his doing.

She realised she wasn't talking and looked back up at Gareth. God, he looked devastated, he looked like shame was touching every fibre of his being.

"It's okay, it's okay." Maria reached out, taking the tissue from him and putting it against her nose. The instinct was to hold her head back but she knew she wasn't supposed to. "Gareth, Gareth I know you didn't mean to, it's okay." Maria said. "I need to-" Maria got up from the bed as the tissue quickly filled with blood. Maria flicked the light on and moved to the dresser and her mirror.

"I think I might need some ice." Gingerly, with the hand not holding the tissue, she touched her cheek. She didn't think it was broken. Had he hit her cheek first, then her nose had been extra collateral? God, she hoped her nose wasn't broken. It didn't look it. As she was looking in the mirror she caught sight of him.

When she moved to stand directly in front of him, leaning against the table, it was taking everything in him not to pull her onto his lap like he often did. But he refrained. He kept his hands on his lap - ignoring the twitch now and then simply because she was close enough to touch - and kept his eyes locked with hers, his head tilted back just slightly as he waited eagerly for the first question. He wasn't really nervous. Chemistry was one of his best, and favorite, subjects, even in high school, and he was good at retaining information, but it was a little different being put on the spot and the last thing he wanted to do was answer a question wrong right in front of his wife. Especially after having just read the pages that had the answers on them. No. He was focused, determined and ready. Especially with the reward waiting for him at the end.

She waited a beat before the word correct left her lips. Then, because she wasn't going to give him exactly what he wanted all at once. She moved her hands under the top she was wearing and unclasped her bra. Maria pulled it out from the sleeves without showing him any skin- well, maybe a sliver of her stomach where the top lifted above the line of her jeans. Then she dropped it onto the table.

When he asked her for a kiss she watched him, that look, the look he was giving her now was irresistible and any other time she'd have said yes, she'd have given into him instantly. However, she knew full well if they started kissing he wouldn't be able to stop. Then she'd be on the table with her legs spread before he'd answered anymore questions.

Maria had to be strong.

"No-" She said fully anticipating a whine. "Because if I do, you won't stop- I won't be able to stop, and for one, you need to learn restraint, for two, the terms were that you need to get all five questions right."

She paused and swallowed, he could probably tell she was just as turned on as he was given how pert her nipples had become, which were now very visible through her top.

"Question 2." She said clearing her throat. "All of the following have a standard heat of formation value of zero at 25oC and 1.0 atm except..."

Horatio’s heart melted hearing her say those words, that sense of belonging and home settling over him. There was just something so special, so beautiful and heartwarming, hearing her his surname spoken in her voice, woven so naturally with her first name. And it struck him just how naturally her name and his fit together, how they flowed together so effortlessly as though they'd always belonged. It was a comforting sense of permanence that he'd never experienced before in his entire life. Permanence and belonging. He'd only ever felt either of those with Maria. Hadn't ever felt them until her.

His smile widened with each name she spoke out loud. Her own, then Maddie's and then--

He stilled.

Nicky Horatio Caine.

Nicky Horatio Caine.

Those words seemed to stop time for him and he looked almost stunned. His brows lifted, genuine disbelief washing across his features as the emotion settled in, evident in his eyes. They... hadn't discussed a middle name for Nicky and Horatio didn't even think about that until this moment when she slipped his first name in there. Again so effortlessly and it stirred something deep within him. It wasn't often the Lieutenant was rendered speechless, but this was certainly one of those moments.

They'd agreed on the name Nicky, named after Maria's father. One of the finest men Horatio has ever known, and he wanted to honor him, wanted his son to carry a part of Maria's father with him and to hear Maria suggest his own name, well, it meant a lot to Horatio and it showed in the smile on his face, it showed in the way his eyes shined, locking with hers when she turned slightly to look at him. "I guess we, um, we never did come up with a middle name, did we?" He chuckled tearfully, what with having been so focused on his first name and all and he'd been about to say more when he felt him kick. Felt it against his own stomach, his smile reaching his eyes as he let out a soft laugh. "Does, us, does that mean he approves?" He asked, sliding his hands down her sides and moving them to the sides of her belly, as though trying to reach his son. "What do you think, little man? Hm? You like that name? Nicky Horatio Caine?" He asked, his voice heavy with emotion, deeply moved by Maria's suggestion.

And as though their son heard him, he kicked again and Horatio's face absolutely lit up. If that were even possible with how elated he already felt and looked. “You know, most think it’s a funny sounding name. But not you, huh?” He grinned, clearly enjoying the conversations he had with him. "Seems there's a tradition of naming after family members, isn't there?" He pointed out with a grin. Alice being Maria's grandmother, Trudy being her mother and now Nicky, after her father. He loved that. It was beautiful to Horatio.

"You like it?" She asked him, even though she already knew, could already see the answer writ large on his face. When his hands moved between them, to the bump, Maria kept her eyes on Horatio's face.

She was so lucky, she couldn't thank the universe enough for bringing him to her, bringing him to them all. Horatio was the most amazing man she'd ever met and that was saying something given her dad and Harvey were also pretty amazing. She just, she wanted to give him everything, absolutely everything and she knew if she said it out loud he'd say she already was and then he'd look at her like she was the most beautiful thing in the world.

She adored him for that, she loved him so much for it, but it didn't stop the want inside her. It didn't stop her feeling this sort of need to give him everything he'd ever wanted.

The returned kiss was instinctual, natural, holding onto him for just a little longer, her hand had moved down to his shoulder.

He had the widest smile on his face talking about their future and the amount of children they'd have. Most guys would hate talking about this stuff. They didn't even want to think about having kids. Including his friend Gary, but Horatio was pretty sure he and Kristin had a thing for each other. They just didn't want to admit it, especially Kristin. She was always acting like she couldn't stand him, but they were all good friends. Archer was a little more similar to Horatio in terms of someday wanting a family, but he didn't see that happening anytime soon. Horatio, though? He did. Not right now, of course, but... he could see it. He could see his life with Maria. Them in their little apartment with their kids and eventually moving into a bigger house when they had more.

"Oh, we're definitely having a girl. With your hair," he smiled and brushed some fallen hair behind her ear. "your eyes and your smile." He kissed her softly then with a chuckle. He could see them having a girl that looked exactly like Maria and maybe a boy that looked like him. "Five girls, three boys... you just want us outnumbered, don't you?" He teased, but he didn't mind that. Not one bit. "And if we really want eight kids, sweetheart, we might have to start working on it now.." His words trailed off as he dipped his head to kiss at her collarbone, but he was only kidding, of course. They were absolutely not ready for children right now, but the baby-making process and practice? Mm, now that they could continue doing.

"We don't have to have eight kids." Maria teased and she giggled when he started to kiss her collarbone, her hand snaking around to play with the hair at the base of his neck. "How many do you want? What do you want? Do you have names? I know I'm not the only one who's thought of this stuff."

"Though, one should mix up one's desserts, just like you should with your veggies for five a day." She told him with a mischievous grin of her own on her face. It was honestly a miracle she wasn't more unfit and unhealthy than she was given how sweet a tooth she had. She walked a lot though, and they went to the gym, plus there was all the lifting and moving things around she did during the day.

"Are you squinting? When was the last time you had an eye test?" Maria asked him as she started to pull files out of the bag on the side. "I think we get them free through work you know, or maybe we get a voucher..."

"I know, I know it's not going to be easy and I know you won't have as much time as me. What you lack in time, though, you do make up for in clearance-" She teased, letting out a short laugh. "As much as I love Eve, and trust her, I don't think we should tell anyone yet. Especially not Bond. We bring people in as and when we need them. That being said, I don't think it's anyone we would trust with incredibly sensitive information." Maria reassured him as she put the files on the table and then moved to look at the leaflet in his hand

His lips broke away from her for a moment, though, a mischievous glint in his eye as he looked at Maria. “You were saying?” he breathed out.

Maria's eyes were still closed when he broke away, lips still puckered waiting for his lips again and it took a beat before she opened them. Giving him a look that said she had no idea what they'd been talking about and frankly, she didn't care.

What she needed right now was Gareth's lips on hers. Was his skin against hers, was him in her arms.

Aside from all of that, they just... had a lot of fun together. Whether games like this or going out or just hanging out at home watching movies on the couch. There was never a dull moment. Never a boring moment for the two of them. They loved being together, loved spending time together. They were still practically inseparable.

At one point during his reading he looked up only because he heard her singing. It was soft and soothing and beautiful and he found himself gazing at her for a few seconds, loving how happy she seemed to be and then he returned his attention back to the textbook. He was almost done. And a few minutes later, he finished but went on to read the questions, though he wasn't sure if she wanted him to write down his answers or if she wanted him to answer them out loud. So he asked just in case and her answer had his eyes lighting up again. Oh, he was very excited for this.

The way he made her feel, it made her act powerful. Horatio made her feel like she could take over the world. He made her feel that absolutely anything was possible and honestly, as long as he was there, anything was possible. She could be anything, do anything.

"If dinner was going to burn-" Maria replied, raising a brow. "-I'd be putting it to warm, or we wouldn't be doing this at all."

She'd actually changed what she'd been cooking, all because of what she'd suggested. Originally, she'd been trying a Moroccan beef recipe, with a few tweaks she'd managed to turn it into a stew and that meant it needed to simmer for a while. If on low it could simmer even longer.

"Alright." She said thumbing through the book to the first question. Maria moved to stand opposite him, putting the book on the table and locking eyes with him. "Which one of the following thermodynamic quantities is not a state function?"

@tealeavesandthorns asked:

[ hold ] – for the sender’s muse to hold the receiver’s muse by the face / neck gently and brush their thumbs along their cheeks to get them to focus on them.

-----------------------------

"Do you want to go over it again?" "No. I'm fine."

"Are you fully prepared to take the stand tomorrow?" "Yes."

"Do you need more time?" "No. I want to get this done."

"Are you sure you're ready, Horatio?" Stop asking me that.

Horatio.

Stop.

Horatio.

STOP.

Horatio?

Maria.

Her name. Her voice. Her hand on his shoulder instantly silenced the voices inside of his head and pulled him back into this moment, back into the present, with her. His eyes locked with hers through the mirror where he'd been standing for the past several minutes, going through the details of the upcoming trial over and over again. He thought about last night, having been put through a mock trial and asked questions about his father and about the abuse and he answered each and every question without fail. His voice didn't falter, not even once. He didn't break. He was ready. He felt ready.

Until now. Until this moment standing in front of the mirror dressed in a suit which was starting to feel a little too hot now. Beads of sweat started to form on his forehead and his heart started to race, his nerves becoming erratic, betraying how calm and composed he felt last night. But this was different. This was real thing. Last night, he hadn't looked his father in the eyes when detailing everything he'd done to him, but today... today he would. He hadn't seen him in weeks, since that night, the night he almost died, and the idea of seeing him hadn't made him uneasy until today. He admittedly felt ashamed for feeling unsettled at the thought of seeing him again. He was supposed to be strong, he was supposed to be brave. He knew he was safe, yet he couldn't shake the memory of his father beating him from his mind. He couldn't quiet the voices constantly asking him if he was ready or if he was okay. All of it was getting to him and it showed in the way his shaky hands gripped the sink of his bathroom as he looked into the mirror, lost in thought. Lost in the dark corners of his mind.

Until Maria said his name. Until she touched him. Saving him.

Her hand slid down his arm and to his hand, loosening his grip on the sink and letting go entirely, turning to face her completely when she gently guided him to do so. Then she was moving her face to his hands, holding him gently, encouraging him to focus on her which he did so easily. Like she was his safe haven, his saving grace, his anchor, his light in the dark - because she was. She was all of those things and more.

He visibly relaxed in her hands and let out the breath he'd been holding and he closed his eyes for a moment, the voices and unsettling images in his mind having faded thanks to her. "I'm sorry." He murmured, shame in his voice and in his eyes when he opened them again, but there was also relief and warmth present in them, love and adoration, as well. All for the girl in front of him. "I thought," he sighed, shaking his head. "I thought I was ready, 'Ria. I mean, I... I am." He quickly corrected. "I am, I promise, but it's just... it's real today, you know?" Because he was going to be there.

When he pressed his forehead to hers, her hands came up to cup his face and she leaned in to press the gentlest of kisses to his lips. She needed him to know he wasn't alone, at all, she was right here. She needed him to know he was strong and she needed him to have faith in himself.

"You are ready Horatio." Maria said firmly. "You are, okay, it's just like a big game okay. The nerves and everything. You've got this and I've got you." She pulled back just slightly so her eyes could meet his. Then her hands moved to his tie; she undid the button beneath the knot, then she adjusted it so it wasn't so tight and so you couldn't see the top button undone.

He hadn't changed just yet since he'd just gotten back into the bedroom after cleaning up and he became focused on her and how beautiful she looked and how lucky he was. She was, indeed, glowing, and he couldn't help but think about how... different this was vs that day in the hospital when she was looking at herself in the mirror after everything that happened. How she was smiling now, how radiant she looked. God, happiness looked beautiful on her and he silently vowed to protect that smile for as long as he lived.

He loved that she was just as excited to marry him as he was about marrying her. His heart fluttered each and every time Mrs. Caine was said out loud, whether it was said by her or someone else, and this moment was no different. "Officially". He echoed with a smile. It was the way she used that word because in every way, she was already Mrs. Caine. They were each other's in every way. His heart was entirely hers. He was hers entirely. But she did have a point about needing to figure out the surnames and his heart fluttered with each name she said out loud with his at the end, his eyes shining with unbridled joy and love and his smile growing. A chuckle fell from his lips at the last one and he kissed her shoulder when she said he was going to be amazing with him. "And you, sweetheart, are already amazing with him." He praised her right back, tearing his eyes from hers only so he could look down at the bump for a brief moment.

"As for the names," he hummed thoughtfully. "I think it's really what you'd prefer. If you'd like to keep the Bloomsco name. You've gone by it for so long now, I wouldn't want to take that from you." Well, not that he'd be taking it away. She'd always be a Bloomsco, that would never change. "Though I suppose it would be a lot to write down whenever you're filling out any kind of paperwork." Horatio teased with a grin, pausing as he really thought it over, his expression softening.

It was interesting, the relationship people had with names. When Maria had talked to Harvey about it, he'd always said it just 'felt right' to be a Bloomsco rather than a West.

Now, Maria supposed, for her and Maddie and Nicky, it felt right to be a Caine. Their names with Caine after them just sounded right. Correct. Like it had always meant to be that way.

Maria had her hand on his, her fingers tracing little swirls on the soft skin of his hand. She looked up at him in the mirror but then turned her head to look at his face.

"Caine, Caine feels right, correct." She told him. "Maria Alice Caine, Maddie Trudy Caine, Nicky Horatio Caine." She turned slightly, then, only slightly, though because the bump was starting to put more and more distance between them when they were facing each other.