take me to paradise

So before Steve could open his mouth and say something you were not yet ready to hear, you beat him to it, tossing a piece of opened mail on the counter. 

Steve blinked down at it, frowning once more as he glanced between you and the paper before him. “...my driver’s license renewal card?”

You huffed, leaning closer and stabbing your finger at the date of birth printed on the card stock. “Your birthday is in a few weeks! And you haven’t mentioned it at all!”

“Oh.” Steve’s big, broad shoulders lifted as he gave you a sheepish look, a rosy flush staining his cheeks and working its way to the tips of his ears. “I just… didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.” 

“Well what if I want to?” you glared at him. “You were just going to rob me of the full birthday experience?” You made something close to jazz hands that had Steve choking down a laugh because you did seem genuinely irritated by this. “That’s so selfish of you, Hercules,” you finished with a huff, crossing your arms for good measure.

Even though he was able to suppress his laughter, Steve wasn’t able to do the same with his smile. He grinned big, blue eyes twinkling with a very fond sort of mirth as he rounded the counter and pulled you into his arms. 

“You’re right, omega, I’m the worst.”

“Truly!” you nodded in agreement, your own lips twitching as Steve interlocked his hands at the small of your back and kissed your cheek. 

“Next year, I’ll be sure to set monthly reminders for you about my birthday so it’s always top of mind,” Steve murmured, kissing your other cheek. “It won’t be obnoxious at all.”

You nearly giggled, but were able to maintain your stink eye as you gave him an unimpressed look. “You better,” you hmphed, realizing your mistake a second after you spoke. 

That you didn’t object to the fact that you would still be here–with Steve–a year from now.

You hadn’t really thought much about the future since you were a young omega, still brimming with hope and not yet beat down by the state of the world. 

But now… after months of being in Steve’s orbit, of… whatever this was between you–because you still weren’t ready to admit that you were together–the thought of this whole thing not being temporary, of it being your future, of Steve being your future… 

Well, it was an idea that you didn’t hate.

You could tell by the warmth and softness in Steve’s gaze that he was thinking along the same lines as you, but again, you just couldn’t with what ifs, and big feelings, and more. 

Not yet.  

“So,” you cleared your throat, pretending to fiddle with the collar of Steve’s t-shirt so you could escape his intese gaze for a moment. “What would the perfect birthday look like to you?”

Steve was quiet for a moment, for more than a moment, and you felt a swirl of anxiety in your stomach, worried that you had upset him by side-stepping the almost emotional landmine. 

But when you peeked up at him, Steve’s gaze was just as warm and soft as a moment ago, and he was giving you a small, boyish smile as he replied, “I think I have an idea that we’ll both enjoy.”

A few weeks later, on Steve’s birthday, his idea came to fruition, and for the first time in a very long time–maybe ever–you really were getting the full birthday experience, even if it wasn’t your birthday.

But that didn’t make it any less perfect.

Because Steve had driven you upstate to a small lake house in the middle of the woods. 

You couldn’t remember the last time you had been out of the city, and it truly felt like a slice of heaven to be surrounded by nature and quiet and have Steve all to yourself on his special day.  

His special day was just part of the week-long vacation he had surprised you with, and he really had planned it all so perfectly. The fridge and pantry were stocked with your favorite prepped foods and takeout, so neither of you would need to cook. And he had gotten a cute little birthday cake, along with lots of other treats, from his favorite bakery. 

And now, you were both enjoying the gorgeous tranquility around you, as you and Steve sat on the dock out back of the house, watching the sun set over the lake. 

You gave a quiet sigh of contentment as you sank back in the circle of Steve’s arms, allowing your head to fall to the side as his nose skimmed up the side of your throat as he took his time scenting you. 

It was actually the first time you two had ever done this–scenting outside of sex–and you didn’t hate it. You were kind of obsessed with it to be honest.

In fact, you had never been so squirmy in your life, your mind pleasantly hazy and quiet for once as you gave a soft chirp when Steve pressed a kiss to your unmarked mating gland. 

“You smell so good, omega,” he murmured against your skin, inhaling deeply and purring with satisfaction as he basked in your scent. “You always do.”

Your inner omega chirped up a storm, loving Steve’s attention and admiration as you turned your face so you could nuzzle his nose with yours. 

Steve kissed you gently, his eyes so soft and happy as he told you, “This really is the perfect birthday.” His lips touched yours again, lingering this time before he pulled away and breathed, “Thank you, omega. I mean it.”

As he often was, Steve was so earnest in his words and feelings, but something about the sheer affection for you that was coloring his alpha scent had you feeling shy, and a little cranky to be honest. 

Because you were still getting used to how much Steve made you feel and want, even after knowing him for months. But you shoved down the minor flare of irritation that you knew was a defense mechanism, because you would not be bitchy with Steve on his birthday. 

So instead, you playfully rolled your eyes, murmuring, “You’re such a sap.”

“Only for you,” Steve grinned. 

Your scent spiked with your own joy–and something wanting–and he huffed a laugh.

He leaned in and kissed your mating gland, laughing again as you squealed and tried to squirm away, overwhelmed by how sensitive that part of you was, especially under Steve’s attention. 

“How do you like it?” he rumbled, eyes twinkling as you huffed and twisted in his hold to glare at him. 

For a moment, you just gave him the best stink eye you could muster, and then, you pounced.

Of course you knew that Steve was letting you “attack” him as he fell back against the dock and took you with him. But that didn’t make it any less silly or fun as you wrestled with him until you straddled his hips and had his hands pinned above his head, preening your victory. 

“Well now that you’ve got me, what are you gonna do with me?” Steve husked, his eyes noticeably darker as you hovered over him. 

For probably the millionth time, you were nearly struck dumb by how gorgeous Steve was. His skin smooth and flawless, his golden hair gleaming in the setting sun and now perfectly mussed. And his eyes–those pretty blue eyes–so expressive as he watched you, as he waited for whatever you deemed came next. 

For a long, quiet moment, you just stared at each other, and then your eyes flickered down to another feature of his that you sure did love–those plump pink lips. 

Those plump, pink, kissable lips. 

“I have a few ideas,” you finally replied before swooping close and capturing his lips with yours. 

Steve groaned into your mouth as you traded pinning his wrists for framing his face between your hands. You made your own sound of delight when you felt his touch at your hips, his fingers pressing into you, holding you tight and urging your body against his even more.  

Your lips teased and tasted until both you and Steve were breathless, and when you finally pulled back enough to raggedly inhale a gulp of air, you paused for a beat, your eyes dancing as you said, “I want smores.”

“I want more too,” Steve immediately returned. His big hand cradled your cheek and tried to reel you back in for another kiss, but you pulled away. 

Giggling as you sat up over him, you shook your head, lips curled into a playful smirk as you tutted, “Keep it in your pants, Hercules. I want smores. You promised we’d make them using that little fire pit on the back deck.”

For a long moment, Steve just stared up at you, uncomprehending, gaping. And it was nearly enough to make you cackle, but then he blinked owlishly, his brain rebooting, and he didn’t look disappointed at all as he said, “Oh. Right.” Instead, he gave your hips a squeeze, his grin boyish as he continued, “I’ll go set it up now.”

You couldn’t help the dreamy sigh that bubbled past your lips as Steve helped you to your feet. Because he really was so good, so perfect.

And he was all yours. 

Preening for a different reason now, you looped your arm through Steve’s, pressing close to his side as you two began to slowly walk back up the dock. 

You felt mischievous as you glanced over and drank in the still flushed state of Steve’s cheeks, the way his lips were still kiss swollen, too.

“After smores, then I’ll give you more,” you teased, shooting Steve a wicked grin. “You can spend the rest of my night fucking me full of your cum and keeping me on your knot, birthday boy.”

Steve tripped over his own feet, making you burst into laughter as you grabbed onto him to help steady his steps, enjoying the way his flush deepened for an entirely different reason now as he shot you a stink eye. 

“You’re such a menace," he muttered, but he was already grinning again as he wrapped his arm around you and tugged you flush against him. “But you’re my menace.”

“Well happy birthday to you,” you chimed, laughing into Steve’s side as he pressed a kiss to the crown of your head. 

He held you just a little bit tighter as he murmured against your hair, “You’re the best birthday present ever,” rumbling his content as you caught his hand with yours, twined your fingers together, and stayed tucked close as you cleared the dock and made your way back to the lake house. 

—

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Chapter Two

The dull, thrumming ache between your thighs was the first thing you noticed when you finally woke up.

You hadn't slept the whole night through — after the first round of sex, you'd dozed for an hour or so, before waking to find him still naked next to you. One thing quickly led to another, and you'd ended up on top of him, riding him hard. He hadn't even pulled out when you collapsed on his chest and drifted off again.

The third time, he'd settled behind you, slipping inside you with ease. He muttered in your ear, telling you how perfect you felt and how good you were being. He took his time, fucking you with a slow purpose, bringing you an entirely new kind of pleasure.

(Keep us, keep us, keep us, your hindbrain had chanted — and, honestly, you couldn't be sure that the words didn't leave your lips too.)

So, when you woke, you felt thoroughly fucked in a way you'd never experienced before. But, more than that, you actually felt sated. The part of you that craved and needed physical intimacy was silent. You didn't roll over to reach for him, desperate for another round, and you didn't slip your hand between your legs as you'd done so many mornings as Rick snored beside you.

You were... content.

Snuggling down beneath the thin sheet, you breathed in his scent and the scent of what you'd spent the night doing. It was enough to have you finally rolling onto your side, hand searching the bed for him.

Only, he wasn't there.

You were alone.

Sitting up, you glanced around the room. His bedroom. The door to the en-suite was open and he was nowhere to be seen. The alarm clock on the nightstand read 13:27 and you felt a wave of embarrassment. He'd probably been gone for hours and you hadn't even noticed.

Your body ached as you sat, clutching the sheet to your naked form, looking around for your clothes, but your dress was nowhere to be found. All you could find were the tattered remains of your panties, set aside like a trophy atop a set of drawers.

You waited a few more minutes, hoping that Steve would return, but the house seemed silent around you. You couldn't just stay in bed waiting for him all day. Besides that, you really needed to pee.

Pulling the sheet with you, you slipped into the en-suite, taking a moment to glance around first at the large claw-foot bathtub, then the large shower cubicle. The room itself was bigger than your bedroom...

Or, well, not your bedroom anymore, you supposed since you didn't have a home to go to.

You did what you needed to do and lingered for a few minutes, cleaning yourself up while casually looking over Steve's things, indulging yourself and sniffing a few of his toiletries. It was no wonder he smelled so good. During the course of your snooping, you found his laundry hamper and decided to grab the shirt on the top of the pile.

Enveloped in his scent, you wanted nothing more than to return to bed and wait for him to return, hoping that he'd fuck you again. (And again, and again.) But you couldn't. For all you knew, he was waiting for you somewhere else in the house, desperate to get rid of you now that he'd had his fill.

It was a sobering thought and exactly what you needed.

With your panties torn and ruined, you had no choice but to slip out of his room in nothing but his shirt. Thankfully it came down to your knees but as you walked through the long corridor you still felt practically naked.

You hadn't noticed just how big the house was last night but now, in the cold light of day, you realised that house probably wasn't the right word. Mansion was more like it.

You turned a corner that led onto a landing with a double staircase, one to your left the other, closer to your right. Glancing over the banister, you looked down at the large entrance hall and spotted someone. She had her back to you, so you cleared your throat as you made your way down stairs, alerting her to your presence.

A maid, you realised. The house was so big they had a maid.

She looked at you like it was perfectly normal to have a half-naked omega roaming the halls of the house. Maybe it was, maybe you were just the most recent in a long line. Fuck, could this day get any worse?

"Sorry, I'm looking for —"

"Mr Barnes is the only one here right now and he's in the kitchen," she said with a friendly enough smile but the tone of someone who had better things to be doing. When she noticed your confusion, she waved her hand. "Down there, last door on the right."

You muttered your thanks and started towards the kitchen, hoping that Mr Barnes was Steve and that he'd at least offer you some breakfast before kicking you out.

Your heart sank at the sight of Bucky, leaning over the counter, waiting for the coffee machine.

You stepped back, wanting to retreat before he noticed you, but —

"Morning, doll. Want a coffee?" 

The tone of his voice should have bothered you almost as much as the smug smile on his lips, but something else caught your attention, something you hadn't noticed the night before. 

His arm.

Or... not his arm. It was a metallic prosthetic.

What had happened to him?

Fuck, was it offensive to want to know? Were you staring? Why were you staring? Oh god, did he know you were staring?

Swallowing around the lump that had firmly lodged itself in your throat, you managed to nod. "Uh, yeah, coffee would be great."

If he noticed or cared that you had been staring at his arm, he didn't let it show. He just turned his attention back to the coffee maker. "You take it with cream or sugar?"

You remained in the doorway, warily eyeing his back — and not at all taking in the way his tight tee-shirt showed off his toned body.

(Imagine digging our nails into those shoulders, that voice in your head crooned, holding on tight as he fucks us.)

You couldn't tell if it was the fact he was being nice to you or the very real idea that spending a night with an alpha had rewired you on some baser level, but it took everything you had to keep your distance from him.

"Yes," you said, then, "both. Three spoons of sugar, please."

He gave a soft laugh that sent a strange thrill through you.

(Yes, make him happy. Make him want us.)

"That's a lot of sugar for someone who's already so sweet." A cold shiver crawled down your spine, both from his words and the way he looked at you when he turned, mug in hand. There was a hunger in his eyes that was all alpha. "Here you go, doll."

He didn't hand you the mug, he just placed it down on the counter beside him, waiting for you to go to him.

It felt like a trap. 

You lingered in the doorway for a few seconds, torn between refusing the coffee and getting out of there, and showing him that, whatever this was, he wasn't going to get to you. Stubborn pride had you going for the second option, and you instantly regretted it.

His nose twitched as you took that first step, then the corner of his lips tugged upwards. Your quick attempt at cleaning yourself up clearly hadn't been enough to beat his sensitive alpha senses.

"So, was it everything you hoped it'd be?" He asked before you could even reach for the mug. His gaze slid down your body, the look so brazen that it almost felt like a physical caress trailing down to your bare legs and back up again. "I could hear you, you know. With the way you were moaning, anyone would think you'd never been fucked by an alpha before."

Your cheeks heated and your thighs pressed together of their own volition. It didn't take long for him to put two and two together, his grin growing wider.

"Shit, no wonder you were so eager." He stood away from the counter and took the smallest of steps to put himself between you and the door. "No wonder you were so willing to put out for an alpha who won't keep you."

You turned and shifted, trying to create some space between you, only to find yourself backed into a corner. Pressing yourself back, you tried to keep your head high, defiant, but you made the mistake of taking a steadying breath, breathing in his scent. Your head swam as he closed the distance, stopping in front of you and caging you in with hands on either side of you.

If you screamed, would someone come to help you?

(Why would we scream?)

"I can't blame him," Bucky muttered, bowing his head and pressing his face into the crook of your neck, just as he had last night. He inhaled and your legs trembled. "You smell fucking delicious."

"You're a pig," you said, but your words lacked any sharpness.

He was disgusting. The whole situation was disgusting but — fuck, you could already feel that familiar, needy heat blooming inside you.

"I think you like it. I think you get off on me treating you like shit," he continued, pressing closer, letting the tip of his nose graze the length of your gland.

It was so brazen and unexpected that you froze, letting him press as close as he wanted.

"N-no. You're wrong," you said in a breathless whisper. "I think you're disgusting."

"Liar," he said, taking another deep inhale. "You're dripping under that shirt. I can smell it. Did he not satisfy you last night? Did the good guy routine not do it for you? Were you faking all of those screams?"

Stubble scratched against your sensitive skin as he pressed a wet kiss to your gland. You let slip a keening whine, unable to control yourself. Another deep breath filled your lungs with his scent, distracting you as he lifted you and placed you on the counter. 

Bucky stepped between your legs and you felt the cold press of metal trailing up your thigh — his fingers. He was slipping his fingers between your legs.

"He won't keep you," he muttered again, his tongue slipping out to lave your gland, causing your whole body to jolt, trying to push closer to him. "But, before he lets you go, I'm sure we'll have plenty of fun with you."

(Yes, yes, yes — oh fuck, yes, your hindbrain cried, fighting to overwhelm your common sense.)

At some point you'd raised your hands to push him away, but now they just sat on his strong chest, gripping his shirt, unable to let go. You were at the mercy of your biology as his fingers reached the apex of your thighs and a single metal digit ran through your embarrassingly slick folds.

"Did he tell you that we share sometimes?" He muttered against your neck with another wet kiss while his finger teased your clit. "Bet you'd like that, wouldn't you? Two alpha's fucking your tight little —"

He pulled back, leaving you dazed and barely breathing, an uncontrollable want thrumming through every fibre of your being. You let him go, though your hindbrain mourned the loss of his touch. It wasn't until he'd returned to his spot by the coffee maker that you had the sense to close your legs.

Just in time for Steve to appear.

Steve looked at you, then at Bucky. 

"What did you do?" He asked, not sounding angry, just put out.

"Nothing," Bucky grunted. Steve's gaze hardened and fraction and Bucky headed to the door. "If you don't want to share her, you should've said."

Steve stepped aside, letting Bucky leave. His gaze followed after the other alpha before slowly turning back to you, taking in the sight of you in his shirt, perched on the edge of the counter.

"Sorry about him."

"What's his problem, anyway?" You asked, slipping off the counter as casually as you could manage.

Steve let out a laugh. "That's a long story, sweetheart."

Ignoring the way your legs were trembling, you grabbed the coffee Bucky had made for you and took a slow drink, watching as Steve moved closer. 

This time you didn't shrink back — when Steve moved towards you, it didn't feel like a predator hunting its prey — you watched him over your mug, and let him cage you against the counter just as Bucky had.

The thrum you felt inside of you was different with Steve. You still felt an uncontrollable want but it wasn't enough to render you senseless. 

You kept drinking until he plucked the mug from your hand and put it back on the counter. His arms slipped around you and, before you could even think to ask what he was doing, he kissed you.

His tongue pressed against the seam of your lips and you eagerly parted for him, letting him kiss you with a deep hunger that quickly reignited the sparks that Bucky had lit inside you. There was something primal and claiming to it, like he was trying to wipe away whatever might have just happened between you and Bucky, like he knew but he didn't care.

And you let him. You gave yourself to him, wrapping your arms around his waist and pulling him close.

It didn't last and, despite your hindbrain wanting nothing more than to be bent over the kitchen counter and fucked within an inch of your life, Steve pulled back. But he didn't go far. His hand took yours and he all but pulled you from the kitchen.

You eagerly followed after, assuming that he was taking you back to bed, but instead of turning right at the top of the stairs, he turned left, leading you in the opposite direction from his bedroom.

You wanted to ask where he was taking you and what was going on. More importantly, you wanted to ask if he knew what Bucky had just done — you wanted to understand their dynamic and what Bucky had meant about sharing. Was that what you were there for, or would Steve see it as a betrayal if anything happened between you and Bucky?

Packs were always complicated. It was why you'd never considered joining one. In some packs omegas could belong to their alphas or to the whole pack. You weren't sure how Bucky and Steve worked — hell, you weren't even sure how many people were in their pack.

But Steve must have known. Not only did he seem to know Bucky well, he must have been able to smell him on you...

So, clearly that meant that he wasn't angry about it.

Your thoughts stopped as you were pulled into a bedroom. It was smaller than Steve's room, empty, with nothing more than a bed, a wardrobe, and a set of drawers. There was a door leading out onto a balcony and, beyond that, in the distance you could see the city.

He let go of your hand and turned to face you.

"What do you think?" He asked.

You gave him a confused look. "Of what?"

"The room — your room."

"My..." 

Words failed you. There were too many things you wanted to ask, so many things you wanted to say. He was just giving you a place to stay? Why couldn't you stay in his room with him? From the way he'd kissed you in the kitchen he clearly still wanted you...

"You need a place to stay and we've got plenty of space," he explained. “That is... if you want it...”

(Stay... stay for the alpha. He's giving us a gift. Thank him. Thank him.)

The little voice was right in the worst way. You needed a place to stay and he was giving you that. You should be grateful and not ask too many questions. No one had ever just done something nice for you before. There was always a catch, always something that they wanted before they gave you anything. But Steve was just offering you a place.

You surged forward, catching him off guard. You kissed him the way he'd kissed you in the kitchen, with an eager intensity, giving yourself over to him. But it didn't feel like enough. All of your senses felt like they were cranked up to eleven and you needed to do something.

Dropping to your knees, you started to fumble with his belt, then his pants.

"You don't have to —" he stopped short the second you reached into his pants to grip his cock.

His arousal spiked as you started to stroke him, his scent helping you forget all about Bucky. You took a deep breath and allowed yourself to get lost in it, to let your hindbrain take the wheel and take whatever she wanted. For the first minute, you were content to stroke him, watching as he got hard in your grip, letting you see just how big he was.

Then you leaned in, chasing your hand with your tongue as it striped up and down the considerable length of him. It wasn't long before pre-cum started to leak from his tip and you made a show of greedily licking it up. His breath caught and your whole body heated. You were pleasing him, making him gasp. You were in control.

You gave a slow and sensual lick, swirling your tongue around the tip of his cock before sliding your lips over him and slowly starting to take him into your mouth. Your movements were deliberate and slow to begin with, wanting to show him not just that you appreciated his offer but that you were worthy of it, worthy of a place in his life. Maybe he wouldn't claim you, but did that really matter if he was willing to keep you safe?

Moaning, you started to bob your head, following the movement with your hand, making sure no inch of him went untouched. Even though this was all for him, you quickly felt your own arousal starting to build. One glance up at him through your lashes was almost enough to undo you.

When his fingers slipped into your hair, you moaned around him, some part of you eager to give up the control you'd literally just been celebrating.

His hips jerked forward, causing the crown of his cock to nudge the back of your throat. Your eyes watered and you softly gagged, but you didn't stop, sucking in your cheeks as your free hand gripped his hip. The sound of your wet lips on his skin coupled with his heavy breathing had you fighting the urge to slip your hands between your thighs — or worse, grinding yourself against his boot.

You relaxed your throat and managed to take a little bit more of him. His fingers twitched in your hair and his gaze darkened with want, obviously enjoying the sensation of your throat around him. You gulped and tried to swallow, tried to take more and more, feeling needy and greedy, desperate for everything you could get. A tear rolled down your cheek from your watering eyes, but you paid it no mind. You were enjoying yourself too much to stop.

Muffled moans started to spill more freely from you, each one vibrating around his cock and causing his hips to jerk. You trailed your tongue up and down him, tracing the thick vein on the underside of his cock, giving him everything you could to try and make him happy before giving him what he really wanted.

What every alpha wanted.

Control.

You found his hand on the back of your head and gave it a squeeze, silently giving him permission to take over.

A low sound came from the back of his throat, a purely alpha sound that made you tremble. His grip tightened on your hair, almost painfully so, and he started to move his hips.

"Such a good little omega," he grunted.

(A good omega for our alpha, your hindbrain whined.)

You had to grip his waist to keep yourself steady as he set a faster pace, chasing his pleasure. His groans were the final straw — you couldn't help yourself, you had to slip your hand between your thighs and sate the urgent need inside you. There was something about him being in charge that made you lose all control and act every bit the omega.

"Are you —" he didn't even have to finish the question.

The sight of you on your knees in front of him, his cock in your mouth and your hand between your thighs had him practically growling. And that just made you want more.

(Yes, yes, yes... make the alpha happy, make the alpha keep us. We want to stay with the alpha. We want this. Over and over and over.)

Your fingers teased your clit with a rough and desperate rhythm, trying to keep time with his thrusts. You stared up at him feeling an odd sense of contentment washing over you, like you were exactly where you needed to be.

Pleasure quickly began to build inside you. It had been building since your run-in with Bucky and, now, it was approaching fever pitch. 

Steve gave you a warning before he came, but you had no intention of stopping, and hearing him groaning your name was more than enough to push you over the edge too. You swallowed thickly as finished in your mouth, making sure not a single drop went to waste. The taste of him on your tongue was intoxicating, and you already knew you’d never have enough of it.

When he was done, he slumped back against the set of drawers, tucked himself away, and offered you a hand up.

Your legs trembled, but you managed to stand again, eagerly pressing your body to his as he snaked a possessive arm around your waist.

"I can’t keep you," he said with a soft exhale. "I won't claim you, but..."

That one little syllable hung in the air, giving you a small slither of hope that your life was finally going to get better.

"But?"

"But there's a place for you here, if you want it."

"A... place?" You had a thousand questions but you weren't sure how to ask them. You were still trembling from your orgasm, still pressed so close to him, wrapped up in his arms and in his scent.

"Stay here and I'll take care of you. All your needs, all your urges," he said, brushing a stray strand of hair away from your face. "I'm willing to do everything an alpha would do for their omega, except claim you."

"You'll take care of me?" You asked. Steve nodded. "What do you get out of it?"

"I have urges too," he shrugged. "My line of work makes it hard for me to have an omega, but you just sort of fell into my lap, and I can't resist a damsel in distress."

His line of work? How did running a club (several clubs) make it hard for him to have an omega?

"There's plenty of space here, and I have the money to support you until you find something more permanent," he continued. "And besides, I want more nights like last night..."

Your legs trembled and you pressed yourself closer to him. He was going to let you stay so he could have you there any time he wanted to fuck. Maybe it should have bothered you, maybe you should have wanted more, but your heart had been wounded by Rick and you didn't want to go through that again. You didn't want to get attached if he didn't want you the same way.

"Okay," you said softly, pressing your face against his chest.

(We'll make him want to keep us. Make him want to claim us.)

"Good, I'll take you to get your things," He looked at you and smiled. "As much as I like seeing you in my clothes, I need to be able to think about something other than your body. I checked the security footage from last night,your ex left with your purse. We'll get everything of yours and you'll never have to see him again."

It was as if he'd already known that this was how things would go — not the blowjob, but you agreeing to stay with him and unofficially be his omega. Again, it should have bothered you, should have at least given you pause to wonder if you were being manipulated or used just for sex, but the scent of his arousal was still thick around you and the taste of him lingered on your tongue.

"But, I should warn you, there are rules to living here with us," he said, cupping your cheek and making sure your eyes were on him.

"Rules?" You repeated, a lump forming in your throat. "What kind of rules?"

His thumb brushed over the apple of your cheek, in a tender but possessive way, making you want to agree to anything he asked of you.

"You can't go out on your own — if you need to go somewhere, either me or Bucky will take you," Steve said. "Anything you see or hear here needs to stay between us, no matter what it is or how important you think it might be. And I need to know that I can have you whenever I want to. If you find another alpha who's worthy of you and you want to leave, I'll let you go, but until then, you're mine."

You lost yourself in his blue eyes and rich scent and nodded. Losing some of your freedom was a small price to pay if it meant being looked after by an alpha like him. If it meant being in his arms and in his bed.

He smiled and slowly released you from his grasp.

"There's some clothes in the drawer — you're a little bit smaller than Nat, but you should be able to find something that fits."

"Nat?" Your head swam as you took a step back, some desperate part of you protesting the slightest space between your bodies.

"Are you jealous, omega?" He asked, not even bothering to hold back his smile.

"No, I just..." 

Okay, so you weren't jealous, but if this Nat was another omega, you knew you would be.

"She's part of the pack," Steve explained. "Another alpha."

You frowned. Alpha's were rare and it was unusual to find two in a pack, never mind three. "Another alpha?"

"We're not a typical pack," was all he offered. "Have a shower and get dressed, omega. Get yourself settled in, then come downstairs. I'll take you to get your things."

He left before you could think to stop him and your hindbrain mourned his loss as if you'd never see him again. You wondered if you'd ever get used to being around alphas and the way they made you feel. It didn't quite match how you'd expected it to be, but you certainly weren't complaining.

Once he was gone, you slipped into the ensuite bathroom and took a quick shower. Then you started to familiarise yourself with the room, easily finding the clothes that he had mentioned. Whoever this Nat was, she was bigger than you — not surprising, given she was an alpha — and the first pair of jeans you tried on almost drowned you. Even her leggings were too long.

You settled for a light, summer dress — it was still too big, but the loose fit wasn't quite as noticeable once you cinched the waist with a belt. And you felt a lot more comfortable not wearing panties with the dress. That was a line you didn't want to cross; it was all well and good borrowing some clothing, but wearing someone else's underwear was another matter entirely. You found a light grey jacket in the wardrobe that matched the blue dress, and that just left shoes.

Padding back downstairs, you could hear Steve and Bucky talking in the kitchen.

"How long?" Bucky asked, and you stilled a few steps from the door.

"As long as she needs." Steve.

"Do you think it's safe keeping her —"

"I'm not keeping her, Buck."

"Does she know that?" Bucky asked, and you could picture the smug look on his face.

"She knows. And I set some ground rules for her. She won't get in the way. She's a good omega."

(He thinks we're good. We are good. We'll be the best he's ever had. We'll make him want to keep us, your hindbrain squealed.)

"Yeah, and you know why that is, don't you?" Bucky said.

"Enough, that's not —" Steve fell silent.

You waited a beat, then started to worry that they knew you were there, listening in. When they didn't continue, you started to move, walking into the kitchen as if you'd only just come downstairs.

Steve's eyes raked up and down your body, his gaze causing gooseflesh on every inch of skin he looked at.

You forced a slow breath, reminding yourself how acute the alphas' senses were, and how easily they could tell when you were aroused. But, when you allowed yourself a glance at Bucky, you realised you couldn't tell which of the alphas was affecting you the most. You hated it. You didn't want to feel any emotion inspired by Bucky aside from annoyance, but you couldn't say with any certainty that the weakness in your knees was all because of Steve either.

"Are you ready to go?" Steve asked.

"Yeah, I just need my shoes," you answered.

Steve's gaze dropped to your bare feet and — fuck, how did that turn you on? You wished that you'd spent more time with alphas in the past, just so you could understand how much of what you felt was normal and how much of it was just them. 

"They're by the door. I had them cleaned for you."

Your eyes caught Bucky's as you turned to leave the kitchen, and heat instantly started to pool low in your stomach. As much as you wanted to hate him, there was just something about him, something that made your insides thrum with a hunger you couldn't explain. He was a disgusting pig but, somehow, the draw to him was stronger than it was to Steve.

Shaking your head, you pushed the thought away. You'd ignore it. Ignore him. Steve was the one offering to look after you, the one that wanted you around. Steve was the one who'd get your attention.

It took less than a minute to find your boots and pull them on. A skitter of pleasure ran through you just at the sight of them; cleaned and shined, looking good as new. If this was how thoroughly Steve was going to look after you, then you were going to have a very comfortable time with him.

You'd just have to make sure you avoided Bucky from now on...

"No," Bucky said as you returned to the kitchen.

"You heard Sam, he needs me to deal with it," Steve said, shooting you an apologetic look the second he noticed you. "I need to go take care of something at the club. Bucky is going to take you to get your things."

"What? No, I —" you started and stopped just as abruptly when Steve’s eyebrow raised at your very quick protests. "I can wait."

"Sweetheart," Steve said softly, "it's okay, Buck'll take good care of you. Besides, if you're sticking around, you two really should get to know each other."

Bucky's words from earlier rang in your ears; did he tell you that we share sometimes?

"Fine. I'll take her." Bucky spoke before you got the chance to think of an excuse.

"Great." Steve pressed a kiss to your forehead and left, barely giving you a second to even wrap your head around what was happening.

It felt like all the air had been sucked from the room. 

Bucky said nothing. 

You said nothing. 

You waited for a hole to open up beneath your feet and swallow you whole but it never happened.

"C'mon then, doll." The words felt like a death sentence as they left his lips because you weren't sure what being alone with him again was going to do to you.

But you followed after him as he led you out the side door to a dark SUV and got in when he opened the door for you. The only words you managed to speak were your former address when he asked for it. Then, you spent the whole ride across town awkwardly staring forward, not wanting to look his way. You tried your damnedest not to breathe, not wanting his scent filling your nose and lungs.

If Bucky noticed any of it, he kept it to himself, seeming content to just quietly drive you across the city.

Neither of you spoke until he pulled up outside Rick's building.

"What are you doing?" You asked as Bucky got out of the car.

"Helping you get your things."

"You're not coming with me."

"He put his hands on you last night, there's no chance I'm leaving you alone with him."

The look on Bucky's face told you that there was going to be no reasoning with him, but that didn't stop you from trying. "I'll be fine. He's never been like that before. And, besides, I hit him first..."

"Seriously? You think that makes it okay?"

No. You didn't. But it had taken Bucky saying it to make you realise it. You shouldn't have lashed out at Rick, but he never should've raised his hand to you either.

"Fine," you grumbled.

You didn't say another word as you led him up to the little fourth floor apartment that had been, until last night, your home. It wasn't until you reached the door that you started to wonder what you were going to find if you knocked — had he already moved Cindy in? Were you about to interrupt some tender moment between the two? Would you be able to face her without breaking her nose?

Fortunately, when the door was answered, it was just Rick. In his boxers. Looking bruised and hungover.

"You came home?" He said, almost sounding happy to see you, but that stopped the moment he saw Bucky lurking behind you. "Oh..."

"I just want my things," you said, trying to keep any and all hurt from your voice. You hated how you suddenly felt, standing in front of him like an open wound, and you felt like such an idiot for ever thinking that there might be a future with him.

Rick looked at you, then at Bucky before standing aside and letting you in.

Bucky followed after you like an unwanted shadow as you stepped into the apartment. Compared to Steve's house — or was it Steve's and Bucky's? — the apartment was small, little more than a shoebox. It felt suffocating to be back there after just one night in an actual mansion.

Rick followed Bucky — though he kept a very respectful distance.

You tried your best to ignore both of them and focused on gathering your things from the bedroom. You started with the more expensive things; your laptop and drawing tablet.

No one said anything until the silence got to be too much for Rick.

"Is this how it's going to be now?" He asked. "The silent treatment whenever we're in the same room?"

"There is no now. I'm getting my stuff and then I'm gone," you said, keeping your back to him as you unplugged your printer. "We're never going to be in the same room again."

"Look, I know I fucked up and things didn't pan out the way you wanted them to, but we could still be friends. You don't need to run off with an alpha you don't even know."

Bucky gave a low grunt that had Rick looking close to shitting himself, but the alpha didn't say anything.

You turned to glare at your ex. "Friends? You raised your hand to me. I never want to see you again."

"Fuck, do you alway have to be so fucking dramatic? You hit me first, remember?"

"Yeah and you deserved it."

Rick shook his head and let out a bitter laugh. "I should've known better than to date a fucking omega — this is why I chose Cindy over you. She doesn't get emotional over dumb shit."

It was strange in hindsight how often he'd made comments about you being emotional or for getting upset. Worst still was how often you'd allowed yourself to believe him. For eighteen months he'd made you feel like you were too sensitive just because you were an omega, and you'd let so much shit slide because of it.

"Yeah, well I hope you make each other miserable. I feel sorry for the baby,' you snapped back.

Rick took a step towards you but thought better of it as Bucky straightened.

"Just get your stuff and get the fuck out." He turned and walked out, leaving you alone with Bucky again.

"He cheated on you?" Bucky asked once the beta was gone. There was an anger in his voice that you didn't understand, partly because you'd assumed that he already knew but mostly because you didn't expect him to care.

"What d'you care?" You said, turning your attention back to your packing.

He was silent for a beat, then; "he usually talk to you like that?"

You shrugged, still not sure why any of it mattered to him.

"I should've broken his fucking jaw." 

It wasn't some idle threat. He started towards the door, giving you no time to think before moving. You put yourself in front of him, hands on his arms, trying to stop him.

"Don't. Just... just leave it." You said. "He's not worth it."

You instantly realised your mistake. Too close. You were standing far too close. And, just as it had earlier, his scent started to infect you. Bucky followed as you stumbled backwards, and you found yourself pressed against the dresser. His gaze dropped to your lips and your heart started to race as he crowded you.

"What are you doing?" You hissed, daring to glance towards the door, making sure Rick wasn't lurking.

"Finishing what we started this morning." His head bowed and he let his lips ghost against yours. "I know you're not wearing anything under that dress..."

You almost lifted your face to force his lips to do more than just graze yours but the last vestiges of your common sense won out. Slamming your hands against his chest, you pushed him as hard as you could.

Bucky barely moved.

"Back off," you told him, despite the voice in your head pleading to let him bend you over the dresser and fuck you hard while your ex sat in the next room.

A low sound vibrated in the back of his throat and his head dipped again. He inhaled deeply and a tremor ran down your spine, heat licking through your core and giving him exactly what he wanted. Then he pulled away, grinning.

"Suit yourself," he shrugged. "Hurry the fuck up."

Two boxes, a suitcase, and a backpack later, your entire life was packed away, and you were ready to head back to your new home and figure out just what the fuck you were going to do.

A/N : See what I mean about people being assholes in this one? Don't worry, the why's will be explained in later chapters. Anyway, thanks for the great response to the first part of this, I'm really glad people enjoyed it, and I hope you like what I have planned for it going forward.

Again, there's no set upload schedule for this one, but there is a tag list or you can subscribe to the story on Ao3.

As always I love and appreciate every like/comment/reblog and keyboard smash of love. Thanks so much for reading! Hope you all have a great week!

Taglist :

@buckysbbydoll @s0uz4s @bartonsparrow25 @insomniac-astronomer @am-3-thyst

You have a soft heart, and that’s not always a good thing, your mother once told you when you were a child. A litter of kittens was born near your house, but it appeared they’d been abandoned far too young. With no idea how to care for them, they died, and you spent the afternoon crying in your mother’s arms as she consoled you as best she could.

Her words echoed in your head, and they were never more true.

You held back tears as you tossed the scrubber into the bucket of dirty water and sat down, giving your tired knees a break.

Luck was rarely on your side, much less so when you happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time several weeks before.

Housekeeping at a small motel wasn’t the most glamorous job, but it paid well enough to support you while you took online classes at one of the community colleges in the city. The motel was also a ten minute walk from the rundown apartment you shared with a roommate. It wasn’t the best side of town, but you didn’t have a car and the walk wasn’t long. Still, nights were always more tense, and when you heard an anguished groan coming from a drug store parking lot, you regretted not accepting a ride home from the janitor.

Two men were fighting, but it was difficult to see. The only sources of light came from the flickering orange glow of the street lamp and the sickly green light from the store. Still, you could see enough. One of the men was about your age, and despite his smaller stature, you saw him pummel the other man into a bloody mess.

You gasped, and the assailant looked at you with wide eyes. For a man who nearly killed someone else with his bare fists, there was something guileless about him. It threw you off. So much so, you weren’t prepared for the tidal wave of misfortunes headed directly towards you.

The first misfortune was seeing that harmless looking boyish face. Next, when the police arrived, they asked for a statement, which you gave.

It was just dark enough in the parking lot that you didn’t notice the patches that adorned the man’s jacket, or else you would have kept your mouth shut.

When the victim regained consciousness, he pressed charges, and you were asked to testify. You did.

It was the right thing to do.

You didn’t realize you hadn’t just poked the hornet’s nest; you set it on fire.

Peter Parker was the youngest member of the Avengers, a branch of the notorious biker club that ran along these parts.

It was always ambiguous what they did, but it wasn’t on the right side of the law, and people knew to stay out of their business. Regardless, they had money, and their lawyer, Andy Barber, was one of the best. Peter was let go on a technicality and the case never went to trial.

Shortly after the whole ordeal was dismissed, the chaos started.

It was tolerable at first. A random call in the middle of the night, a note left for you at work with a scribbled message telling you to watch out. Other than restless nights, you went by unharmed-- no one had approached you, and no one had hurt those around you.

Things only escalated from there.

The motel you worked at was robbed with a crude ‘A’ carved into the front desk, the Avengers’ calling card. It wasn’t a secret why they were targeting you, so your manager fired you if only to protect himself and his staff.

The police either didn’t know what to do or were paid for their indifference; any attempts at contacting them were met with harrowing silence.

Days were drawn out as you applied for jobs with no success and were running on nearly no energy from stress and lack of sleep.

The vague threats stopped for a week, and you hoped they got bored of terrorizing you.

No such compassion was sent your way.

You came home from a promising job interview, but you didn’t even need to enter the apartment to know whatever game they were playing wasn’t going to stop.

The front door was kicked in, the frame splintered where the latch tore through. Glass from the shattered windows and wood chips littered the floor.

Dread almost made you leave, not wanting to see the inside of the apartment. But you had no choice, and upon walking through the door, you gasped. Bookshelves were upturned, furniture destroyed, personal possessions broken and scattered about.

Your room was in a similar state-- broken picture frames, ripped up clothes and bedding. Luckily, your roommate’s bedroom was unscathed. You were relieved initially, but blanched when the implication sank in.

They knew which room was yours.

“You just had to fucking say something,” your roommate hissed when she came home to red and blue lights bouncing off the apartment complex. She cried when she saw the state of the living room.

“Danielle, I-” you started.

“Save it. Just get the fuck out.”

Not wanting to cause her any more grief, you nodded and left. Staying with anyone you knew would mean risking their safety, and you couldn’t do that. You didn’t have much in your savings, but you sold what little possessions you had left and stayed in a motel on the other side of town.

You prayed they’d lose interest.

A rock was thrown through the motel window, shattering the glass and your hopes for any peace. You woke up with a jolt, ice running through your veins, heart racing.

The rock had a note tied to it.

Scribbled across the folded paper was an address. Your sister’s. She lived in the city-- close enough to harm if they so wished.

Panicked, you ran out of the motel room and winced when you felt a shard of glass embed itself into your foot.

Standing outside was a man, and you realized just how hollow any hope of escape truly was. You never stood a chance.

The blinding light of the motorcycle headlight obscured his features, but you knew who he was.

Steve Rogers, leader of the Avengers.

“What do you want from me,” you asked, voice raspy from the weeks of accumulated anxiety.

“I have a deal for you. You work for me, and we’ll leave that sweet sister of yours alone.”

“And if I don’t accept?”

“She wouldn’t be the first person I killed.”

His eyes were cold, empty.

At least he gave you the illusion of choice. .

You were terrified of him at first, but he largely ignored you as long as you stayed out of his way. It was easy to fall into a predictable, if not lonely routine.

Steve made you his housekeeper and “let” you stay in the small guest room as payment for your work, leaving you entirely financially dependent on him.

His house was old but rather far from the other houses from his street. Prior to you working there, it was a complete mess-- empty liquor bottles and various food wrappers strewn about, scuff marks and dirt caked floors, layers of dust on unused surfaces.

It was a stark contrast to his bedroom, which was remarkably organized-- bed always made, the few mementos he had were always perfectly in place. Even his clothes were neatly folded or hung. You didn’t understand the discrepancy until he and the rest of the Avengers stumbled in, piss drunk after their usual bar closed for the night. They tossed beer cans on the floor, yelled at each other, and moved about with little regard for both the house and for themselves until they passed out and left the next morning or afternoon.

It took you a week alone to get the rest of the house in order, if only because every other day, the core group of his gang would come in to undo a lot of your progress.

And if things got too easy for you, Steve made work for you.

With a heavy sigh, you moved the bucket to the trail of muddy footprints and got started cleaning again.

***

The air from the dryer enveloped you in comforting warmth as you unloaded the last load of laundry for the evening, looking forward to calling it early for the night. Maybe you’d study for your upcoming literature exam.

Of course, Steve never made things easy for you, and as you were folding the last few shirts, the front door opened with enough force to shake the house.

You inwardly groaned.

It wasn’t too late into the evening, and you only heard one set of footprints, so maybe Steve was alone. You also hadn’t heard his motorcycle or any others, so Sam must’ve dropped him off with his truck. He’d do that occasionally.

You quickly folded the last bit of laundry when he stumbled past you, holding a half empty bottle of whiskey.

You didn’t know if he could make it up the stairs and rushed out to help him, draping one of his heavy arms across your shoulders.

“What are you doing?” He grumbled and shot you a mildly irritated look when he noticed you.

“Helping you up,” you strained when he put more of his weight on you, as if to prove a point. You could barely hear his dark chuckle but you certainly felt the deep vibrations from his chest. He simply moved his arm off your shoulder and continued walking up with relative ease.

“S’not the first time I’ve been drunk, girl.”

Sighing a little, you grabbed the basket of folded laundry, and followed him up. You wanted to put away his clothes and be done with the day.

The bed creaked when Steve sat down to untie his boots. He peered at you curiously when you set the basket on the opposite end. Once his boots were off, you grabbed them and headed towards his closet.

“Left side-”

“Bottom row,” you murmured.

“Observant little thing, aren’t you,” he said after another swig of whiskey.

“You’re just very consistent and organized. At least, in your room,” you froze after saying the last part, unsure whether or not he’d take umbrage with your words.

The laugh that followed was even more unnerving.

“Fair enough,” he said and placed the bottle on the nightstand with a thud. “Got tired of cleaning up after the others.”

“I feel like there were easier ways to hire a maid,” you sighed and retrieved the basket, gauging his response. He only smirked at you, oddly playful, and you wondered if he was always so easy going when he was drunk.

Without another word, Steve began to shed the worn leather jacket followed by the tight white shirt he wore underneath, and you immediately focused your gaze on the floor, missing the amused gleam in his eyes at your apparent bashfulness. You hoped he couldn’t feel the heat that bloomed across your skin at the sliver of his stomach you managed to see before looking away. While you could assume Steve was built based on stature alone, you weren’t prepared to see the cords and bundles of muscles that framed his body.

Slowly, you put his clothes away, trying to ignore him as best you could. He would probably pass out soon and with any luck, he’d forget about the whole interaction.

“Easier, sure, but this is so much more fun,” you heard him whisper in your ear, his hot breath tickling your ear, and you shrieked in surprise.

The house was old and creaky. How a large man like himself managed to walk across the aging wooden floorboards, drunk out of his mind without making a single sound was impressive, though you were too shocked to really dwell on it.

Instinctually, you moved away from the direction of his voice but a strong arm wrapped around your waist and turned you so you could face him. The movement threw you off so you placed your hands on his chest to steady yourself, immediately removing them when you felt taught muscle and coarse hair beneath your palms.

His blue eyes peered at you inquisitive, searching. You felt like you were burning under his gaze.

“You’re a pretty thing, aren’t you,” he nearly whispered as the hand splayed on your lower back wandered to your side where he ran it up your body slowly, just narrowly missing your breast. You could smell the whiskey on his breath which mingled with the scent of leather and wood that always seemed to follow him.

“Steve…” you nearly whimpered.

“You know, when the kid told me some idiot was ballsy enough to press charges and some bigger idiot was even more ballsy to corroborate the story, I was expecting some dumbass suburban soccer mom who didn’t know any better. Woulda been easy enough to scare off,” Steve hummed the last part and his hand rested on your neck, teasing your pulse point with a rough thumb.

“I was surprised to see you at first. Oh so sweet, oh so naive,” he cupped your face where stroked the ball of your cheek with alarming gentleness. “Made sense though. You probably didn’t even know what you were getting into.”

“I didn’t,” you said so softly, as though you were afraid any loud noises would set him off.

He held your gaze a little longer, before laughing a little, the smirk on his lips never quite reaching his eyes. He let you go and returned to his bed where he grabbed his jacket.

“Leave the rest of the laundry here. I can put it away.”

You nodded and quickly left his room.

Things changed slightly from there. While Steve wasn’t necessarily nicer to you, something difficult to gauge to begin with given how little he interacted with you prior, he did stop making messes just for you to clean up. It was a small olive branch, but one that made living with him less hostile. With that, you weren’t as skittish being seen, and you had more time to get to know both him and his friends.

They’d congregate at Steve’s place at all hours of the day or night, watching a football game, shouting over each other, and other drunken nonsense. You mostly stayed away, but one night, Steve asked you to bring him a beer when you walked by to do the laundry, and from there, they often asked you to do the same.

They weren’t awful otherwise. None of them tried to touch you, and some were even polite.

Bucky was Steve’s best friend and practically his brother. He was relatively mild mannered though snippy at times, especially towards Sam, another close friend. Sam was charming and treated you like a person. On a Sunday afternoon, you were removing bottle caps from several beers when he saw you and offered to help.

“Steve’s not that bad, he… he’s been through a lot,” he told you as he gathered a few bottles.

“He threatened to kill my sister,” you murmured.

Sam sighed, “yeah he doesn’t always mean what he says.”

Occasionally, you’d see Thor, a surprisingly boisterous man with a thundering laugh who always thanked you when you’d hand him a cold beer.

Then there was Peter.

You avoided Peter at all costs at first, unsure if he held a grudge. But in time, it seemed like he was by far the most docile out of the group.

“Sorry about… this whole thing. I wanted to drop it but Steve wasn’t having it,” he sheepishly told you when he cornered you one evening.

“Oh, uh, it's okay,” you sputtered out, not trusting him initially.

Over the weeks, he proved himself to be genuine in his original statement, being the only one who went out of his way to keep you company.

“Who are the new guys?” You asked Peter one night. As usual, the main gang stumbled in drunk-- Bucky, Sam, Thor, and Peter. But with them were two faces you hadn’t seen before.

“Rumlow and Rollins,” Peter scoffed. “I’d stay away from those two.”

“They’re not your friends?”

“Nah, they’re from a different club. We’re mostly friendly with one another and our territory overlaps a little so it’s best to keep the peace.”

“What makes them so bad?”

“I just don’t trust ‘em is all,” Peter mumbled.

You weren’t about to argue with him and stayed even more out of the way when they were over, though it was inevitable they’d find you.

“Oh what have we here?” You heard a voice call behind you as you transferred a load of laundry from the washer to the dryer. You jumped a little at the sudden sound and looked over your shoulder where Rumlow leaned against the doorframe. “You must be the help Steve mentioned a while back,” he mused.

He took a step forward and you took one back, trying to keep as much distance between you as was possible. Unfortunately, the laundry room was little more than a storage closet and your back hit the wall, coaxing a small whimper out of you. You didn’t fail to notice how the sound seemed to light up his eyes in viscous curiosity.

“I gotta say, I wasn't expecting you to be so… cute.” He did little to hide the contempt in his voice.

He made no effort to hide how he purposefully dragged his eyes over your body. You wore practical clothes-- leggings and loose shirts or sweaters. It didn’t seem to stop him from appreciating what he could see anyway.

“Gotta hand it to you, it was kinda brave to stand up against one of Steve’s,” Rumlow continued to get closer.

“She didn’t know who we were.” You heard Peter and sighed with relief. Rumlow turned around. “Come on, leave her alone, she’s just trying to work.”

“You sweet on her?” Rumlow smirked.

“I just don’t get off scaring girls,” Peter stood his ground but you could see the worried glint in his expression.

Peter was strong. Far stronger than he looked, but Rumlow was seasoned and nearly twice as big.

“Come on, we’re just having fun, right girlie?” Rumlow looked back at you, daring you to object.

“Yeah, it’s okay Peter,” you pleaded quietly, not wanting things to get out of hand.

Rumlow nodded and left the small room, bumping into Peter’s shoulder as he walked past him.

“I hate that man,” Peter mumbled once he was clear. He got closer to make sure you were okay. “He hurt you at all?”

“No, I’m fine,” you assured with a small smile. “Thank you.”

It was a tender moment, something you hadn’t experienced in awhile.

“What’s going on here?”

You heard Steve and your eyes snapped to where he was standing in the hallway.

“Rumlow was being a dick,” Peter said and walked out of the laundry room. “She’s fine though.”

You watched Peter disappear, leaving you with Steve. The look he gave you was difficult to read. His brows were furrowed slightly. While he didn’t look angry, he still looked bothered.

“Is there something wrong?” You asked.

He shook his head, face relaxing into something neutral.

“No, it’s fine,” he sighed and left you alone with your racing thoughts.

***

Steve was in the garage, working on his bike, which gave you time to clean his room. It was almost always immaculately clean, but you still liked to give it a dust over. Gingerly, you brushed the duster over the various surfaces in his room. It was easy since he had so few mementos on display. The only notable thing was a picture frame that was always face down.

You shouldn’t have looked, but curiosity got the best of you and you lifted it up. A photo of a beautiful woman stared back at you. Her eyes were serious but kind, and she carried herself with a measure of confidence, as though she could command a room the moment she walked in.

“Didn’t anyone tell you it’s not polite to snoop around?”

You jumped a little. You figured you’d be able to hear Steve in time to put the photo back, but you could never underestimate how quiet he could be when he tried.

“I’m so sorry,” you quickly put the frame down, making sure to handle it with care. “I was just curious, but that’s no excuse and-”

“Relax, sweetheart,” you heard Steve as he neared you.

You couldn’t relax, not when you still didn’t trust him, and you quickly gathered the duster to leave when he stopped you with a heavy hand on your shoulder.

“Do you drink at all?” He asked.

You looked at him, confused.

“I… not really,” you said.

“Have a glass with me.” He walked out of the room and nodded towards the door for you to follow him.

Frozen in fear, you weren’t sure if this was some ploy. He glanced at you when he saw you hadn’t moved and chuckled slightly.

“I swear, I’m not gonna hurt you.”

You followed him to the living room where he poured some amber liquid into a glass and handed it to you before pouring himself significantly more.

“Sit.”

You did.

“So obedient,” he smirked, almost in something akin to appreciation.

“Is there something wrong?” You asked, trying and failing to sound confident. You only grew more panicked when he sat next to you, the outside of his thighs pressing against yours.

“You really are a skittish little thing,” he mused as he brought the glass to his lips. “Drink.”

You remained quiet, not sure how to react, so you took a sip from your cup. You winced as the liquor burned your throat. Wanting to get away sooner, you downed the entire thing with a wince.

“The boys think I’m going too hard on you,” Steve mumbled after swallowing a good swig of whiskey. “Peter especially, but the kid’s got a soft heart.”

“He doesn’t seem like he’d be in this world,” you said, starting to feel lightheaded.

“And what world does he fit into?”

“Something nicer.”

Steve didn’t respond and you were afraid you upset him. Before you could look over, you felt calloused knuckles brush your cheek and you jumped a little.

“So sweet,” Steve murmured.

Heat bloomed under the skin on your face at the comment.

“Would you have really killed my sister if I didn’t come with you?” You sputtered out, wanting the silence to end. Perhaps that was the wrong question to ask, but it had been weighing on your mind since your small conversation with Sam. The liquor wasn’t helping you make better choices, either.

Steve smirked a little, lazy, amused.

“No.”

“So were you lying about killing anyone?”

Steve sighed and poured himself more whiskey before grabbing your glass and giving you a little as well.

“No, I’ve done that,” his voice was low, quiet. “Did a couple tours overseas,” he said. “Former military. Army.”

Steve’s not that bad, he’s been through a lot, Sam’s words echoed through your head.

“I’m sorry,” you said quietly.

“It’s where Bucky and I met Sam, so it wasn’t completely bad.”

“You knew Bucky before?”

“I've known him since we were kids.”

You nodded but didn’t say anything else. You wanted to ask about the woman in the picture, but given you’d never seen her around, you had to assume something bad happened.

“Peggy,” he said as if reading your mind.

“What?”

“The photo. Her name is Peggy. She was my fiance.”

You could hear the longing in his voice and the pain woven through it.

“What happened?” You asked. “You don’t have to say, not if you don’t want to,” you quickly added on.

He glanced at you, his eyes soft. You weren’t used to seeing him so vulnerable. It made the rough outlines of his face disappear, and he looked wildly different, younger almost.

“Got shipped overseas. Saw things no one should have to see, did things no one should have to do. I came back and I wasn’t the same,” he sighed. “I got angry a lot, didn’t want to get help for it, drank myself away.”

As if to prove a point, Steve finished his glass and grabbed yours, which had remained untouched since he poured you another drink. He drank that too. He placed both glasses on the coffee table.

“If you think I drink a lot now, I cut back considerably. Didn’t do that until after she left though. She couldn’t take it anymore. Couldn’t watch me destroy myself.”

“Is there any way you could rekindle things?” You asked.

“No. She’s moved on. Has a nice little family now. I’d be an ass if I came in and ruined all that. ‘Sides, I’m not much better than I was before.”

“I’m sorry,” you offered after a small pause.

“It’s not your fault,” he mused. “But thanks for sharing a drink with me.”

He left the glasses on the coffee table and walked upstairs to his bedroom.

***

After that night, Steve seemed to teeter on the edge of being kind and cold.

There were soft moments, where he’d help you fold laundry or dry dishes as you washed them, asking you questions about yourself-- what was your childhood like, do you have any dreams about where you’d like to go in life, what sort of music you liked.

“You wanted to be a dentist?” He nearly laughed, leaning against the counter as you wiped it down. “What kind of kid wants to be a dentist?”

“I dunno, I always liked teeth, I guess,” you shrugged.

He shot you a perplexed look before shaking his head in amused disbelief.

“What changed your mind?”

“I hate spit,” you smiled.

“Yeah, I guess that would be a complication there.”

Comfortable silence filled the space, something you appreciated about him. If he had nothing to say, he didn’t try to make noise for the sake of it.

“What about you?” You inquired. “What did you want to be when you were a kid.”

“A soldier,” he said with no hesitation, but there was a hint of something melancholic in his voice.

“Oh.” You knew how that story ended. “Did you want to do anything after?”

He thought for a moment.

“I don’t know,” he said but you weren’t convinced. You didn’t pressure him, though, and just enjoyed the silent understanding between you two.

In time, you realized he longed for a life where he could just settle down, but his self-destructive tendencies would never allow it.

You used to avoid him when he came home from doing God knows what, but after seeing him wash a rather deep cut in the kitchen sink, you helped patch him up. Afterwards, he’d ask for your help if he saw you, but never bothered you if you weren’t around.

So you began to greet him when he came home.

There was something oddly domestic about the whole arrangement.

He touched you more, too. At first, it was a hand on your shoulder as he passed by, cupping your face as you tended to his wounds. But when he was drunk, he’d occasionally press you against the wall, his hands on your hips, his lips ghosting over yours, tempted but never indulging himself.

Rounded eyes would trace his features, and you could hear the low growl rumbling from his chest as he did the same. If he wanted to do more, you would have let him. He never did.

But then there was the coldness.

You never knew what sparked his moods and compelled him to be so distant, but there were days where he wanted nothing to do with you. He’d ignore you when you’d ask about his day, dismiss you if you tried to help him.

In time, you learned how to navigate him, though the constant changes kept you on edge. Still, he planted a seed of longing within you in the way he’d look at you, like you were something precious to him. It made you feel wanted.

Part of you knew it was foolish to believe Steve would ever want you beyond curious lust. You were never more convinced than when you heard the loud bang of his motorcycle falling onto the dirt driveway.

The noise brought you to the living room, where you saw him as he stumbled onto the couch. Even drunk and swaying, he still managed to look intimidating.

He'd come home tipsy many times, but never as drunk as he was, and he’d never driven himself home-- Sam or Bucky usually gave him a ride those nights.

But you knew what today was. It was the anniversary of the day he and Peggy got engaged.

He hardly acknowledged you as you began to assess any damage, prodding at his body to feel for tender spots. How he’d managed to ride a motorcycle home without hurting himself or others was beyond you.

“Steve, you can’t drive while drunk,” you sighed when you found he was unscathed.

“Why do you care?” He murmured, whiskey heavy eyes lazily looking at you.

“Because I do, and this isn’t good for you. Or anyone.”

“You know all about good, don’t you?”

Ignoring his comment, you went to unlace his boots, if only to make him more comfortable.

“So good,” he nealy slurred. “Too good for me.”

All too suddenly, Steve grabbed you and pulled you into his lap where your knees were planted on both sides of his hips.

“Steve-” you squeaked when you felt his lips press against yours.

“Fuck, you don’t even know what those doe eyes do to me,” he growled.

You couldn’t stifle a sweet gasp when his hands roamed your body with near hungry desire.

“Bet you never even fucked a man before,” he cupped a breast and your breath hitched. You shook your head and tried to push at his chest.

One of his hands lowered until it brushed against your core, and you let out a strangled moan.

“I don’t know why that does it for me,” he murmured as he continued to stroke you through your leggings. “Never really cared for the innocent ones. Peggy was commanding, could silence a whole room with a single look. I bet you couldn’t even flag down a waiter.”

Pressure boiled in your core, and you stopped trying to push him away when it became apparent he wasn’t going to let you go. Slowly, you started rocking your hips into his hand.

When he noticed you were responding, he moved his other hand under your shirt where he cupped your breast, rolling a nipple between his fingers. You gasped and looked at him. His eyes were closed, concentrated as he brought you closer to release.

A soft moan escaped your lips, and his eyes snapped open, bloodshot and focused on your lust blown gaze.

His hands stopped moving.

You made a sound, mourning the loss of pleasure, and he pulled away, all but shoving you out of his lap. With a thud, you stumbled onto the floor where you pushed yourself back, further from him, trembling.

“Fuck,” he hissed.

“Steve?”

He studied you, a storm in his eyes, and you weren’t quite sure what he was thinking.

“You’re not Peggy. Didn’t know why I thought I could replace her with someone so weak.”

You were stunned at how quickly he’d changed. Tears began to well in your eyes but you were too overwhelmed to get up.

Steve paused for a moment, something flashing in his eyes, before cursing under his breath.

“It ain’t happening again, sorry,” he grumbled and walked away.

As soon as you heard his door slam shut, you ran to your room and sank to the floor.

***

Steve didn’t talk to you after that. It felt like the first couple weeks you started living there, a complete stranger.

The silence was unnerving, and you weren’t sure if he felt uncomfortable because of that night. Wanting to get closure, you approached him as he worked on his bike in the garage. You hoped whatever anger he might have felt was gone, and the man you’d come to know over the weeks would return.

“Steve?” You called out.

He ignored you.

“I just wanted to clear the air about what happened.”

You heard him sigh and he tossed his wrench onto his workbench with a loud clunk.

“Nothing happened,” he nearly sneered at you.

While he could be dismissive before, he was never quite mean about it. The vitriol in his voice had you backing away.

“I haven’t been laid in awhile and you felt easy.”

Your heart dropped, heavy at his confession.

“You were always playing house with me, hovering over me like a puppy. Figured I could fuck you and get it out of my system,” he said while he grabbed a greasy towel and wiped his hands before tossing it at you where you fumbled catching it.

He didn’t look at you when he took a drink from his water bottle.

“I have work to do,” he picked up the wrench.

You stayed away from him after that.

***

A few weeks passed without so much a word from Steve.

Peter noticed the tension. You were sure they all did, given you stayed in your room when they were over.

“Is everything okay?” Peter asked you one day when he managed to see you.

You nodded, but it was apparent he wasn’t convinced. He didn’t press you, though.

***

Steve was out for the night. Based on his mood earlier, you knew he likely wouldn’t be out until the next morning, if not afternoon. You didn’t mind, though. You quite liked having the house to yourself where you didn’t feel his heavy presence looming over you. It gave you time to think and study in peace.

You were deep into making flashcards for your Anthropology class when you heard a noise coming from the garage.

With a sigh, you tossed the index cards onto your bed and went downstairs.

While you knew any kindness or compassion was wasted on him, you still felt compelled to help him when he was lost in a drunken haze. Perhaps that made you a fool. Or perhaps you felt you could bring back the best in him, which definitely made you a fool.

Knowing it was a bad idea, you still wandered to the garage and sighed as you opened the door.

A figure was shuffling around, oblivious to you.

“Steve?” You called.

He turned around and you felt the hairs on your arms and neck raise.

Rumlow stared back at you, viscous gleam in his eyes.

“Oh what do we have here?” He smirked and slowly walked towards you. “Haven’t you heard? Curiosity killed the cat.”

You backed up inside the house and tried to close the door but he wedged himself in the frame before you could.

With too much ease, he shoved you to the floor where you pushed yourself back before trying to run to the front door.

He was on you before you could get into the living room.

“What do you want?” You whimpered when you felt him put more of his weight on you, pressing you into the discolored linoleum kitchen floor.

“I was just gonna steal some cash from the stash Rogers keeps back there. Didn’t think you were home,” he said as he grabbed your wrists, stopping you from trying to push him off. “But now that you’ve seen me…”

“I won’t say anything, just please let me go,” you pleaded.

“Oh kitten, I know you won’t talk,” he hummed before he ripped your shirt down the middle. “Because if you do, I’ll come find you.”

You began to wiggle out of his hold, your breathing hitched, but he had you pinned under him.

“And when I find you, you’ll think back to this moment and realize I was going easy on you.”

You released a high pitched wail as loud as you could muster when he ripped your leggings off.

“Make all the noise you want, kitten. This far out, no one will hear you scream.”

***

Runlow left a few hours ago but you couldn’t peel yourself off the floor. Your gaze was trained on the ceiling above, imagining shapes in the aged paint.

Steve could’ve come back at any moment, and you didn’t want him to find you. With the rest of your strength, you pulled yourself up, wincing at the pain in your limbs and core and trying not to gag at the sticky feeling between your thighs. You limped to the bathroom where you removed your shredded clothes.

Your skin was already starting to discolor, and there were dark splotches along your neck where Rumlow sucked a few bruises and even bit you in several places, some of which drew blood. Your lip was split and you saw the start of what would be a bruised cheekbone.

You didn’t remember the shower, only that you took one until the water ran cold.

You didn’t remember getting into bed either, only that you gathered your tattered clothes and put them in a plastic bag to take to the garbage.

Sleep never came to you that night. You found yourself staring at the window as the dark blue sky eventually turned a deep shade of purple, and then pink.

The nearest drugstore was about a thirty minute walk. You knew it opened early, and you needed Plan B.

So you pulled on fresh clothes-- long sleeves to hide the bruises on your arms, and a scarf to hide your neck. Luckily, it was late autumn, and it wouldn’t look suspicious to be so covered.

Luckily.

You felt a rusted, sardonic laugh bubble from inside you, hoarse from all the screaming. All of this, because you wanted to do the right thing.

The drugstore was the one you witnessed Peter damn near kill another man. You stood in the same place you stood that night, but everything looked different now that your perspective changed.

Peter was a friend now, someone good you could trust. Standing in the very lot that landed you in your predicament, you couldn’t help but wonder if he was actually good, or if he appeared good because the company he kept was worse.

A single lit candle looks like the sun when darkness was all that was known before.

It did little to dwell on it. It did little to dwell on anything.

The house was empty when you came back, but that was for the best.

You took the first dose of the contraceptive, and crawled back into bed.

***

Steve didn’t notice anything out of place when he came home. Despite it being close to noon, he didn’t see you around, but why would he? He made damn sure you’d avoid him.

He never intended to get close to you, never intended to act on any of the things he felt. He couldn’t stop himself though. Your eyes beckoned him in closer with the docile glow that seemed to radiate from you, like a moth to a flame. You emitted warmth, light, and goodness. The dark in him wanted you, and he wasn’t sure if it was because he wanted to bask in your light or snuff it out.

What scared him most was that you wanted him back.

So he stayed away.

But in your naivety, you sought him out and he indulged himself from time to time.

It wasn’t until he nearly fucked you on the couch that he realized he needed to stop. You deserved better, far better than he could ever give you, and he wanted you to see that.

So it wasn’t unusual for you to keep your distance.

But when he didn’t see or hear from you in a few days, he became concerned.

***

Knocking on your door woke you up.

“It’s me,” you heard Peter call.

Or course. Steve wouldn’t care to look for you.

“It’s open,” you said.

Peter walked into the room, but you remained on your bed, turned away from him, knowing the bruise on your cheek and your scabbed lip would cause suspicion.

“Uh, hey. I haven’t seen you around. No one has. You okay?” He asked, cautious in his delivery.

“Yeah, I’m just tired, that's all.”

The desk creaked, and you assumed he leaned against it.

“You can talk to me, you know,” he encouraged.

“I know, I’m just tired though,” you repeated.

You heard Peter grunt softly and he breathed out, ready to leave when you heard him kick something, which toppled over.

“Shit, sorry, I-” When you didn’t hear anything else, you turned and looked.

The small trash bin was on its side, some of its contents spilling onto the floor, one of which was the box of Plan B you had yet to throw away. You hadn’t left your room enough to get to it.

Peter stared at the box, brows furrowed, before he glanced at you. His eyes widened when he saw your face and neck.

“Oh God, what happened?” Peter gasped before ticking his jaw. “Did Steve do that?”

“No!” You said emphatically. “I’m fine… just…”

You tried to hold back the tears but couldn’t.

“Hey, hey hey,” he nearly cooed as he walked towards you but you flinched away and he stopped. “Please, tell me who did that to you?”

You swallowed, but it did nothing for the lump in your throat.

“Rumlow… nearly a week ago,” you whispered.

You glanced at Peter, and the sweet boyish face you’d come to know was replaced with something harsh in his fury. There, that was the man you saw in the parking lot so long ago.

“We gotta tell Steve,” his voice was low, guttural.

“No!” You nearly shouted. “Please don’t tell. I don’t want anyone knowing, just… let it go, please.”

When he didn’t respond, you felt tears stream down your face.

“Please,” you begged.

His face softened at your weeping form, and with no idea how to handle the situation, he reluctantly nodded.

***

Steve and the others were at their usual bar. The place was on the busier side, the regulars scattered about. The occasional clang of pool balls hitting each other rang out, adding to the noise of shouting matches and raucous laughter.

It wasn’t uncommon to see members of different clubs there, some friendly, some not. It was an unspoken rule that the bar was neutral ground, so most kept to themselves or played nice.

So when Steve saw Rumlow approach them, he thought nothing of it.

He didn’t notice the way Peter nearly raised his hackles at the other man.

“Slow night?” Rumlow asked with a lazy smirk.

“Just relaxing,” Bucky said and gulped down his beer.

“Right right,” the other man dismissed. “Say, you gonna watch the game this Sunday?”

No one particularly liked having Rumlow around, but it was beneficial for them to stay friendly, even if it meant putting up with him.

“Yeah, might have some of the boys over,” Steve sighed.

“Kinda miss that cute little maid of yours,” Rumlow chuckled and Steve didn’t like the way he referred to you. There was something sinister in the way he licked his lips.

He was willing to let it go, but Peter nearly launched himself at the older man, landing a hard punch to the jaw.

“Woah what the fuck?” Bucky immediately got up and pulled him away.

“What the hell, Parker?” Rumlow spat as he rubbed his jaw.

The bar went silent.

“Y’all know the rules, if you’re gonna fight, take it outside,” the bartender yelled.

“Get your toddler under control,” Rumlow sneered at Steve before heading outside. “Or meet me outside, and we can settle this like men.”

Steve pulled Peter away from the group.

“Kid, what the fuck?” He scolded.

“Nothing, just… fuck that guy,” Peter grumbled.

“Come on, man, what’s going on? You can’t just attack him. None of us like him, but you know the rules.”

Peter gritted his teeth and nodded.

“What’s with the attitude?” Steve sighed before saying your name. He saw Peter’s expression change slightly, from unbridled rage to something softer. “This about her?”

Peter opened his mouth to say something but didn’t.

“Look, I figured you were sweet on her, but you can’t attack people who talk about her,” Steve sighed.

The younger man snapped his head towards him.

“It’s not that at all.”

“Then what is it?”

Steve saw the conflict wash over his face before he shook his head, regret flickering through his features.

“Rumlow raped her,” Peter admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.

Steve’s heart nearly stopped.

“What?”

“A couple weeks ago. Found some Plan B in her trashcan. It’s why she hasn’t been around much. She asked me not to tell anyone, but that smug motherfucker brought her up-”

Steve walked away before he could finish.

Rumlow was in the parking lot, cursing at Rollins and a few of his men.

“You put that kid in time out?” Rumlow shouted when he noticed the blonde stalking his way. His eyes widened slightly when he realized Steve’s pace never let up.

Without missing a beat, Steve’s fist collided with Rumlow’s cheek, sending him to the ground.

Steve didn’t hold back as he wailed on him, feeling his knuckles split open from pounding against the other man’s teeth. It did little to slow him down.

“Hey hey,” Sam and Bucky went to pull Steve off but he snapped his head towards them before they could get near.

“Stay the fuck away,” he roared.

Before anyone could stop him, he got off of Rumlow and dragged him further away. Vaguely, Steve heard more arguing and punching, his men and Rumlow’s likely fighting each other off.

“You raped her?” Steve hissed so no one else could hear.

Rumlow smirked, stretching the torn patches of skin on his lips, bloodied saliva coating his teeth red.

“So the little bitch told you after all?” He taunted. “Tight little pussy, that one has.”

Steve punched him, but Rumlow clumsily dodged.

“She cried so sweetly the entire time,” he continued, and Steve swung again, which Runlow barely stepped out of the way. “Didn’t stop her from moaning like a slut when she came, though.”

He was tackled to the ground immediately after, where Steve didn’t hold back the barrage of punches against his face and chest.

He wanted to kill Rumlow and would have if the red and blue glow of impending police cruisers didn’t stop him. By the time Steve pulled away, Rumlow was unconscious, his face barely recognizable.

***

Steve still felt raw anger pulsating through him when he came home. Knowing what had happened under his roof while he was nowhere around to stop it had him hating himself as much as he did Rumlow.

“Fuck,” he yelled and hit the kitchen table hard enough to splinter some of the wood. He grabbed a bottle of whiskey, but before he could take a swig, he threw it against a wall where it shattered, trails of liquor running down the discolored wallpaper.

“Steve?” He heard you call out.

The noise had tipped you off, and you were terrified, unsure if Rumlow had come back. But then you heard Steve yell.

You were never more relieved to see him, though you still weren’t sure what state of mind he was in.

He looked at you, and the rage immediately disappeared as he took in your frightened expression.

“You’re hurt,” you said.

Steve’s knuckles were cut open and bleeding, as was his lip.

You grabbed the first aid kit from under the sink and approached him wearily, unsure if he’d let you near him. He did, and you gestured for him to sit down at the table.

After everything he did and said to you, you still wanted to help him. His heart felt heavy.

No words were exchanged as you cleaned his hands. He was eerily calm, not even flinching when you dabbed an alcohol soaked cotton ball on his knuckles.

You never asked how he got injured, not after he refused to answer you the dozens of times you asked before.

“Peter told me about Rumlow,” Steve muttered, breaking the silence.

You felt panic rising in your chest, and you stared at a stain on the table. You were about to get up and return to your room, where you felt at least a little safe, but Steve’s voice took you out of your thoughts.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Steve asked, nearly begging.

“I don’t know,” you breathed, still avoiding his gaze.

You felt his fingers gently push your chin up so you could look him in the eye. He looked at you so delicately, silently urging you to tell him the truth.

“I… I didn’t think you’d care,” you said after a small pause, your eyes looking off to the side as you tried to blink away tears.

Steve dropped his hand and you lowered your head and peered at him through the veil of your eyelashes.

A mixture of horror and remorse was etched into his features, from his furrowed brows to his slightly agape mouth. He ran a hand over his face and across his beard before shaking his head and standing up.

“Steve, where are you going?” You asked, panicked.

“Finishing what I started,” he said as he headed towards the front door.

You rushed after him frantically. Your legs felt like they were weighed down with ice, but you stumbled towards him with all your energy.

“No, no, please!” You called and it seemed to fall upon deaf ears. It wasn’t until you grabbed his arm that he stopped and turned towards you. “I don’t want anyone getting hurt because of me.”

“No one’s getting hurt because of you, they’re getting hurt because of what he did,” he growled and nearly had the door open.

“Please, just… stay here,” you begged.

His eyes softened as they roamed over your form.

“I don’t like being here alone,” you choked out.

Steve felt a lump in his throat at your confession.

Of course you didn’t like being at his house alone. No one was there to protect you.

The dam you built over the weeks to hold back all you felt broke. The emotional toll came down on you, a deluge of grief. Feelings you couldn’t process finally came out as you looked down and began to cry.

You shuddered a little when you felt Steve wrap his arms around you, but felt him relax when you melted into his embrace.

“I’ll stay,” his voice was tender, soft.

You sat next to him on the couch, and he didn’t ask you any questions, just reminded you of his presence by occasionally stroking your arm or urging you to rest your head against his shoulder.

“I was wrong,” he said.

“What?”

“When I called you weak. You’re not.”

You felt the sting of fresh tears pricking the corners of your swollen eyes.

“Compassion takes a lot of strength,” he said. “More than people like me ever give credit for.”

***

Things were a bit awkward at first-- Steve wasn’t sure how to navigate around you, but in time, he found you just wanted to be treated like before.

No one talked about Rumlow. You didn’t know where he was, only that Steve assured you he’d never hurt you again. It was a good enough answer for you.

He was home more often, too, rarely keeping you alone unless he had to leave. Even then, he asked Peter to come over and keep you company.

Steve was kinder with you, much like how he was when he wanted to be sweet. The soft gazes he used to give you returned, far more delicate this time around, and it made your heart flutter. You weren’t sure how to handle it.

With every every airy beat was a cold aftershock.

In time, however, you began to open up to him. While you never went into detail about that night, you told him what had happened, and you could see the array of anger and guilt flash across his features as you spoke.

Shortly after, Steve told you he found a different house and he was moving. He never gave you permission to leave his service, so you assumed your arrangement would remain the same.

“How have things been?” Peter asked when he saw you taping closed a box of newspaper wrapped plates.

“Just a lot of packing,” you answered.

“Do you like the new house?”

You thought about it for a moment. It was definitely not what you expected Steve to get, but that didn’t mean it was bad. You liked it.

“It’s nice. A lot more modern than this one. It’s closer to other people, though, so I was a little surprised Steve picked it.”

“You know why, right?”

You furrowed your brows.

“No, but he never really seemed to like this one.”

“He didn’t want you staying here because...”

Your breath hitched.

“Oh, I… I’m sure that’s not why,” you sputtered. “I feel like he wouldn’t keep me around as a maid if that’s all it was.”

Peter smiled at you, knowing but warm.

“He loves you, you know.”

“What?” You squeaked.

“I don’t know if it’s love yet, but it could be. But I know he cares about you a lot.”

“I- Peter, I don’t think that’s it.”

He didn’t say anything else, not wanting to make you feel uncomfortable.

Over the next few days, you thought about what he said. It made your heart race, but you weren’t sure if it was fear or desire. Perhaps a mixture of both.

***

The new house was about the same size as the last one, but didn’t creak nearly as much. Steve pointed you towards one of the guest rooms and said you could stay there. Though you had few possessions left, you still wanted to unpack and get settled, exhausted from the move.

But before you could open a box, Steve stopped by.

“You don’t have to stay here,” he said.

When you didn’t respond, he continued.

“If you want to leave, you can.”

He didn’t say anything else before he walked off, leaving you with a choice, the first real one you had in a very long time.

Nightfall came and you couldn’t sleep, the possibilities running through your head.

Freedom was so close, but what did that even mean anymore? The world you knew was gone. It changed, because you changed, and you didn’t know if you wanted to be back in it.

So you had to make a choice, and with all the confidence you had left, you got up.

With delicate care, you opened the door so the hinges wouldn’t squeak. Your footsteps were quiet as you made your way across the room. Steve's light snores let you know he was still sleeping, so you gently brushed a hand across his face.

His eyes snapped open and immediately focused on you.

"Is something wrong?" He asked, confusion lacing his sleep heavy voice, before sitting up. The thin bed sheet pooled at his hips, exposing his muscular chest. You could practically feel the heat rolling off of him.

You hesitated, unsure how to move forward without making him uncomfortable, but you thought about what Peter said and remembered the way Steve would look at you.

Slowly, you crawled onto the bed where you straddled his knees, keeping a little distance between you two.

Steve's breath hitched, and he moved his hands up before letting them fall back into his sides.

Trembling slightly, you cupped his face and felt your heart flutter at the soft sigh he released as he closed his eyes. Your thumb ran over his lip and you felt him run his fingers along your knee.

You leaned forward slowly and paused to give him a moment to back away if he wanted to. He didn't and instead closed the gap where his chapped lips brushed against your soft ones.

He kissed you with a measured, delicate touch, like he was afraid you'd run away.

When you pulled away, you saw the storm in his blue eyes, a battle between succumbing to his desires or doing what he felt was right.

"I-" he started before pausing. "I don't know if this is good for you."

You laughed softly much to his surprise.

"I don’t want to be defined by the bad things that have happened to me," you said. "I want this, Steve."

He nodded slightly, his hands finding their way to your hips where he pulled you closer. You could feel his hardening length brush your core through the sheets and layers of clothes, and you both gasped a little.

He pressed another kiss to your lips before whispering against them.

"Tell me if you want to stop and I will."

You nodded and he kissed you again, his hands wandering up your body. He lifted the oversized shirt and didn’t suppress the sigh upon seeing so much of you for the first time.

Hesitantly, he touched you, his fingers trailing over your soft skin before giving you another kiss.

Before you could register it, you were laying down under him, and he gently parted your legs so he could rest between them. You swallowed the gasp at the feeling of his hard length on your thigh and he stopped.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

“Yes,” you said and smiled at him, pulling him down to kiss him, which he readily accepted.

He broke away only to trail kisses down your neck to your chest where he ran a tongue around a nipple. You moaned a little and you felt Steve hum in satisfaction. He gave the other nipple the same amount of attention before travelling downward.

When he reached your panty glad core, he tugged them off gently, gauging your reaction. When you didn’t stop him, he parted your thighs before resting them on his shoulders. You felt his lips press against the soft skin at the apex of your thighs before you felt his tongue swirl around your clit.

You arched your back and moaned.

He took his time with you, starting slow, letting you get used to the feeling.

He flicked the tip of his tongue against the sensitive bud before a calloused finger pulled the hood of your clit back and sucked it in his mouth.

Your back bowed as you felt the band within you pull tighter and tighter.

A thick finger prodded your entrance and pushed inside, and you keened at the feeling. He moved it slowly within you before adding another, stretching your walls. He hit something within you that made your entire body pulse.

Another hard suck, and it snapped, the tension in your body relaxing all at once, a flood of bliss flowing through you as you clenched his fingers in waves. You didn’t even hear the moan you let out, but Steve did, and he wanted nothing more than to bring that sound out of you again.

When you came down from your high, Steve crawled back up your body, capturing your lips in a kiss, swallowing every sweet sigh.

“You did so good for me,” he whispered. You felt your core tremble at his praise.

He ran the head of his cock through your folds, and you gasped. He gathered your slick, preparing himself before positioning himself at your entrance.

“You ready?” He asked you and you nodded.

Slowly, he pushed inside and stopped when you made a pained noise.

“Keep going,” you whimpered and he obliged.

Soon, his entire length was in you, and gasped when he bottomed out.

“Taking me so well,” he murmured as he peppered kisses along your jaw and neck. “Let me know when you want me to move.”

He stayed in you, patient, letting your walls get used to his thick length. When the ache dulled out to a mild throbbing you nodded at him.

Slowly, he moved his hips.

You gasped at the feeling of his cock moving through your silken walls with ease, having prepared you so thoroughly for him. His head bumped against the same spot his fingers had moments before, and it had your toes curling at the feeling. You rolled your hips to meet his.

“Can I go faster?” He asked between strained grunts. His hair was in his face, a few strands stuck to the beads of sweat on his forehead. He looked beautiful like that.

“Please,” you mewled and he didn’t hold back the full bodied groan at your pleas.

“Let me know if it’s too hard,” he whispered into your ear as his thrusts got deeper.

You saw stars in the way he was pounding into you, hard enough to entice and always on the precipice of too much but never venturing past it.

Soon, you felt that band within you pull taught once more, and a few more thrusts had you falling over the edge, your pussy fluttering around his thick cock as you let out another sonorous moan.

“Fuck,” he groaned when he felt you clenching his cock, the sweet sounds you made urging him to completion.

“Please cum inside me,” you asked him when you felt him leave.

He didn’t need to be asked again when he pushed his length into your overwrought core.

Warmth flooded you, and you gasped a little bit. It felt right.

Both of you were out of breath and he stayed inside you. A satisfied smile graced his lips and he kissed you once more.

You sniffled a little, tears pooling in your eyes.

Steve cupped your face and you nearly laughed at the panicked look in his eyes.

“Did I-”

“No,” you assured him and smiled. “That was amazing. I just wish…”

You paused.

“I wish… the first time was like that.”

He looked at you with so much tenderness and adoration, you felt your heart skip a few beats.

“As far as I’m concerned, this was your first time,” he said, doubtless in his words.

You nodded, feeling a few tears roll down your face, and he leaned down to kiss them away.

You didn’t know what the future held, where you were going, how this would end. You didn’t care. As Steve held you in his arms, you drifted into a peaceful sleep, one you hadn’t had in a long time.

***

Note: Ahhh what a long journey! Thank you to everyone for sticking with me! I know this was a longer read!

I don't have a taglist, so please follow @sweetlyscared-library for updates!

You huffed a frustrated sound as you rolled onto Ari’s side of the bed, burying your face in one of his pillows and inhaled the musky, masculine scent that was all him. Your hands were still searching in vain for your trucker, because you had to be sure he wasn’t there, but refused to open your eyes just yet.

Another discontented noise slipped from your lips, muffled by the pillow, as you reached for him only to find nothing but cold sheets and empty air. The bed you shared with Ari at his cozy bungalow by the sea was large, especially compared to the bunk in his truck, but you knew before you raised your head and cracked an eye open that he wasn’t there. 

For a moment, you were overwhelmed with yearning to be back in the cab of his truck, where there wasn’t as much space and Ari was always within reach. You’d taken it for granted that your trucker was always so afraid of you leaving that he never left you alone for long. 

If there was one major difference about being in Ari’s home after he’d completed the long-haul route where he’d found you, it was the sheer amount of space the bungalow afforded. Even glancing around the modest-sized bedroom, which the two of you kept relatively neat despite all the clothes and things you’d begun to acquire since Ari brought you home, it seemed like more space than either of you really needed.

Closing your eyes again, sleep still tugging at the edges of your consciousness, you strained your ears for any sign of your trucker moving around in the bathroom attached to the bedroom, or the living room or kitchen beyond. But there was only silence, nothing to indicate where Ari was. 

All of a sudden, a terrifying thought occurred to you: Was Ari…gone? Had he left you? 

An inexplicable fear clenched in your stomach as you turned over, rolling toward the windows that overlooked the small backyard attached to Ari’s house. His pickup truck—the one he drove when he wasn’t steering a big rig around the country—wasn’t in the driveway or the detached garage. 

The lazy weight of sleep cleared from your mind and body, quickly being replaced by panic and anxiety. Instinctively, your fingers lifted to your neck, and you breathed a sigh of relief when you felt one of your collars still circling your neck. 

The chain was thin and delicate against your skin, but deceptively strong, unable to be broken without serious strength or tools. The heart-shaped pendant engraved with ‘Baby’ on the front, and ‘Property of Ari Levinson’ on the back, still rested in the hollow of your throat.

The collar looked like a normal necklace, but it had a locking mechanism that only Ari could unfasten. No one else could take it off—including you—and it was still on, which you took as a good sign. 

Surely, if Ari had decided to leave you, he would’ve unlocked your collar first. Right?

Despite the reassurance you felt from the collar around your neck, a sense of unease still settled low in your stomach, making it churn. Something was off. 

Ari very rarely left you alone, and when he did, he always chained you up first. In fact, the only time he’d gone out without you was when he’d taken the cab of his rig to be inspected by the company he worked for. 

Before he’d left, Ari had looped your thick black leather collar around your throat and attached it to a chain tied to his bed, with enough slack for you to go to the bathroom if you needed. He’d left you with food and water and made the trek to the company’s inspection location on his own, since bringing you would’ve raised too many questions.

It was the longest the two of you had been apart since he’d picked you up off the side of the road—and you’d missed your trucker while he’d been gone. You’d happily accepted the collar and the chain and waited for him to return, because you’d known he would. 

You knew how it would sound to someone else if you ever told anyone—you knew it was more than a little messed up, the lengths to which Ari went to make sure you stayed with him. But you’d asked for the collar, you’d consented to being locked up and chained to his bed while he was gone.

After a lifetime spent begging people to love you—even people like your parents, who were supposed to love you unconditionally—and clinging on to men who barely tolerated your existence until they finally got sick of you and dumped you from their lives (literally, in the case of your most recent ex), being with Ari was exactly what you needed. 

It was what you wanted—a man who didn’t notice how needy or clingy you were because he was too busy clinging to you. He needed you just as much as you needed him, and he was so afraid of you leaving him that you never had to worry about him leaving you. 

Even after all your time together, Ari was still worried you’d run. He was trying to get better about trusting you, and believing you actually wanted to stay with him, but it was taking time. Thankfully, you had plenty of patience, and a deep desire to prove you were nothing like the people who’d left you—or the ones who’d left him. 

As far as you could tell, it had been going well. Since he’d brought you home, Ari had been getting better about letting you out of his sight. Sometimes he’d leave you to read in bed while he watched TV in the living room, or let you shower on your own while he cooked in the kitchen. 

But those were small steps. Leaving you home alone without a chain keeping you there… You had to wonder if Ari had forgotten to chain you up.  

But it was hard to believe Ari would forget such a thing. He wasn’t the type of man who’d care about waking you up to put your leather collar on, and he was possessive enough that it bordered on obsession. You couldn’t wrap your mind around the thought of your trucker forgetting to chain you up before leaving you on your own. 

There was only one other explanation you could think of: It must’ve been a test. And if it was a test, it meant you could ace it—and you could show Ari that he could trust you enough to be there when he got back.

Still, you were curious about how much freedom he’d given you. You didn’t think your trucker would actually let you leave, and you were half-convinced he was hiding just outside the front door or around the corner in his truck, waiting for you to run. 

You decided to poke around and find the limits of the false freedom Ari had given you. 

Throwing on one of Ari’s flannel shirts, you padded through the bedroom door into the open plan living room and kitchen at the front of the house. Biting back a smile, you darted to the front door and quietly undid the bolt, then grabbed the handle. 

Yanking the door open, you half expected Ari to be on the other side, waiting to pounce and haul you back inside. But when you whipped it open, prepared to surprise him and jump into your trucker’s thick arms, there was no one. Just the front porch of the bungalow, with its swinging bench and the many plants you’d accumulated since Ari brought you home. 

A fissure of disappointment wormed through your gut, and your heart panged with longing—not for the world outside the bungalow, but for your trucker. It had been a long while since you’d woken up alone, since before he’d picked you up off the side of the road and didn’t let you go, and you decided, right then, you didn’t care for it. 

Tentatively, still sure Ari was lying in wait for you, you stepped outside into the warm, spring sunlight. The chill of morning was still clinging to the smooth wooden boards beneath your bare feet, but the sun and the sultry breeze off the sea were ensuring it would be a beautiful day. 

You took a deep breath, inhaling the smell of salt wafting in from the ocean, and let a smile settle on your lips. You really loved the place Ari called home, and you were glad you got to be there with him—that he’d let you make it your home as well. 

Stooping down, you checked on some of your plants, still thinking Ari was probably watching you and waiting for you to run. But when he didn’t show, you shrugged to yourself. With one last look around the neighborhood, which had long since woken and settled into their day, you headed back inside. 

You locked the front door behind you and skipped back to the bedroom, more than happy to wait for your trucker to return from the comfort of his bed. There was still a fissure of unease in your gut, telling you something was off, but you chalked it up to the unfamiliarity of waking up without Ari.

Shedding the flannel shirt you’d donned to go outside, you dove back into bed naked, the soft sheets tangling around your bare body. Your face found Ari’s pillow instinctively, and you breathed in deeply, inhaling the delicious, familiar scent of his musk. The thick smell went straight to your head, making your thoughts a little fuzzy while desire bloomed in your core.

Ari was, generally, cleaner while you’d been at his house and he could avail himself of his private bathroom, as opposed to when you were on the road and he didn’t get a chance to shower as often. But frankly, you missed the pungent, spicy scent of his sweat, the way his smell permeated every inch of the truck cab, surrounding you and seeping into your skin until you smelled like him, too.

You took another deep whiff of his pillow, where his scent was embedded deep into the fabric. A heavenly warmth flooded your body, settling between your bare thighs, wetness gathering at your slit. All from the mere scent of your trucker. It was pathetic, how turned on you were from Ari’s smell, but you couldn’t help it—and you needed more.

You whimpered into his pillow, your lips parting and drool beginning to drip from the corner of your mouth as you inhaled his smell again and again. Need rolled through you like a freight train, your body reacting instinctively to Ari’s scent and preparing yourself for his cock in your cunt.

But he was gone, and you didn’t know when he was coming back. You didn’t know how long his test would last, how long he’d give you to run away only for him to catch you. But you were determined to be ready and waiting for your reward when he inevitably returned and found you still in his bed. 

Your pitiful whimpers devolved into needy whines the more you huffed Ari’s scent. It wasn’t long before your hips were rocking in a humping motion, though there was only air and the thin bedsheets for you thrust against. Neither were the thick cock of your trucker, and it made your mind even fuzzier with a desperate yearning for him.

Needing more friction, you rolled onto your front and dug your knees into the mattress. You shoved a pillow between your thighs that also smelled like Ari, and pressed your dripping slit down on the seam. You didn’t care if you made a mess of the pillow, it was the closest you could get to what you really needed.

You squeezed the pillow between your thighs and humped helplessly against it, grinding your greedy pussy on its softness so that every thrust of your hips rubbed your clit against the seam along the side. All the while, you kept your face shoved into Ari’s other pillow, inhaling his scent like you were getting high off it.

The delicious friction of humping Ari’s pillow was enough to keep you turned on, but the plush softness was too yielding for you to get off. So all you could do was chase your pleasure even as it remained constantly out of reach. You were writhing like a mindless thing while you waited for your trucker to return.

That was how Ari found you—with your ass in the air, hips humping his pillow, your face planted his other pillow while you moaned and drooled over the scent of his musk. 

You didn’t notice your trucker at first, and you didn’t know how long he stood at the edge of the bed watching you, but when he spoke, his rumbling, familiar voice brought you out of the delicious daze you’d fallen into. 

“Well, what do we have here?” Ari asked, a predatory grin in his deep voice. 

You turned your head toward the sound of him, finding your trucker towering over your naked body, wearing jeans and a t-shirt, a bulge already standing proudly in the front of his pants. He looked like a king—a god—and you were more than happy to be on your knees in front of him.

“I couldn’t leave you for an hour without you humping my pillow like a bitch in heat, huh, cock whore?” Ari teased, a cruel kind of mischief glinting sharply in his blue eyes. 

That look sent a shiver of need racing down your spine, but you barely had a chance to let out a pitiful whine before Ari’s hand was wrapping around the front of your throat, just below your chin, and he was lifting your head from his pillow. 

He manhandled your body into the position he wanted, sitting you up on your haunches, wringing a moan from your throat when the seam of the pillow rubbed against your sensitive clit. You watched him through heavy-lidded eyes, noticing the moment his gaze fell to your neck.

Something like panic flashed in Ari’s eyes before they filled with rage, his gaze narrowing on the hollow of your throat.

“Baby, where’s your leather collar?” he asked in a growl, his voice lower and more dangerous than you’d ever heard it. “Where’s your chain?”

It was taking every single one of your braincells to resist the urge to paw at his cock through his jeans and beg him to fuck you, so all you could do was blink innocently up at your trucker, your lust-filled mind unable to understand why he was asking those questions. Surely, he knew where your collar and chain were.  

“What d’you mean, daddy?” you asked. “I woke up like this.”

Emotions flitted across Ari’s face, almost too fast for you to understand them, but you recognized suspicion and anger. Then there was something that looked a lot like a tentative kind of hope—before it bled back into fury. 

“You woke up like this,” Ari echoed, each word bitten off like he was using his teeth to tear through stone. 

It was only then that his expression—stormier than you’d seen it in all your time with your trucker—and the tenor of his voice finally broke through the haze of desire that had still been filling your head. 

You blinked rapidly, tears gathering in the corners of your eyes. Absentmindedly, your fingers brushed the pendant in the hollow of your throat, beneath where Ari’s hand still circled your neck. 

“I thought…” you trailed off, coming to the realization that it hadn’t been intentional. Ari hadn’t been testing you. He’d genuinely forgotten to chain you up before he’d left. 

But that didn’t make sense. He was terrified of you leaving him, of that you were absolutely sure. He’d never forget to make sure you couldn’t leave him. Unless…

Your breath caught in your throat and you hardly dared to hope that maybe, just maybe, Ari had begun to trust you. That somewhere, deep in his subconscious, he’d known he could leave you at home without chaining you up because he could trust you to still be there when he got back. 

“It wasn’t a test?” you asked, your voice so full of hope it threatened to burst like a bubble in your face. 

Ari’s jaw ticked with the force of him grinding his teeth, and he used the hand around your throat to tow you closer, his gaze unreadable as it roved over your face. His fingers dug into the sides of your neck, and for a moment, you saw something wild in Ari’s blue eyes, something that made excitement zip up your spine.

“Did you go outside, baby?” Ari rumbled, a dangerous undercurrent in his voice, a slight tremor in his words. “Be honest—be honest with me right now.”

It spoke to how unsteady your trucker must’ve been feeling that he needed to urge you to be honest. But he didn’t have to worry, you’d never even considered lying to him, especially not when you were so sure you were so close to earning a shred of his trust.

“Just to the porch,” you said, staring deep into Ari’s eyes. “Just to see if you were there.” You paused, remembering the disappointment you’d felt when he hadn’t been there, waiting for you. “I didn’t like waking up alone.”

Ari stared at you for a long, long moment. You held yourself perfectly still, your heart beating a quick, steady rhythm in your chest while you let him look his fill. You had nothing to hide from your trucker—he was your man, your king. Yours. And you were his.

And you were certain, down to your very bones, that he was right on the precipice of finally believing you weren’t going to leave him. You held that hope close to your heart and held your breath, imploring him silently to trust you.

“You didn’t run,” Ari forced out finally, his voice rough and gravelly as an unpaved road. “You coulda run, but you didn’t.” For the first time since he’d noticed your collar and the lack of a chain affixing you to the bed, Ari let his eyes wander down the rest of your body.

His gaze flared and heated as it roved over your naked form, lingering on the way your plush thighs were straddling one of his pillows. The corner of his mouth tipped up in a small smirk when he focused in on your pussy, pressed against the seam of the pillow, an obscene wet spot visible between your thighs. 

“You didn’t leave—you got back into my bed and started humping my pillow,” Ari rumbled, a strange tenor in his tone, like he wasn’t sure if he believed the words he was speaking, even as he saw the truth of them right before his eyes. “Did you…miss me, baby?” 

Ari’s gaze flicked back up to yours, and the smile he gave you was devastating. Not just because he was so handsome—it was, after all, the same smile that had lured into into his truck all those weeks ago—but because you knew him well enough to see the insecurity buried deep in the depths of his blue eyes. He didn’t believe you could miss him.

It occurred to you then that you’d never told Ari you missed him. Granted, he didn’t often give you an opportunity to miss him, but even after the trip he’d taken to get his rig inspected, you’d been too distracted by his return to tell him how you’d felt while he’d been gone. 

You softened at his question, a sweet smile tugging at the edges of your lips. Your hands reached for him, not out of habit but because you wanted to touch him, your fingers curling in the cotton of his well-worn t-shirt. You pulled him even closer to the edge of the bed, his thighs pressing against the mattress. 

It was all too easy and enjoyable to kiss your trucker, to press your lips against his and smile as his thick beard tickled your cheeks. Ari’s mouth was soft and yielding beneath yours, and you took the opportunity to flick your tongue teasingly against the seam of his lips, grinning when he rumbled a hungry growl deep in his chest.

“I like you, Ari,” you murmured against his mouth before pulling back and staring deep into his eyes, willing him to hear you—to believe you. “And yes, I missed you. I didn’t like waking up alone,” you repeated what you’d said earlier, your fingers tangling tighter in his shirt. “I didn’t like waking up without you.”

For the first time since you’d met him, Ari seemed at a loss for words. He was quiet, watching you while his mind worked, and you were close enough that you could see the emotions flitting across his gaze—anger and disbelief giving way to something tentative and fragile.

Ari’s hand flexed around your throat, fingers digging into the sides of your neck so deeply, you went a little lightheaded, swaying closer to your trucker’s broad body. He used your closeness to sweep a palm down your spine and grab your ass hard enough to make you yelp, your tits pressing against his firm chest as he hauled you closer.

Then his mouth descended on yours and he was claiming you with a kiss. There was a feral kind of possessiveness in the way Ari’s lips devoured yours, the way his teeth sank into the soft, plump flesh or your lower lip, and the way his tongue swept into your mouth, plunging deep like he was determined to lick your soul out from your throat. 

Ari’s kiss was an assault on your senses, immediately overwhelming, and it was all you could do to let your body succumb to the sensations, giving your body to your trucker just as much as you’d already given him your heart. 

He claimed and he claimed and he claimed your mouth until your head was dizzy from a lack of air, and even then, Ari didn’t stop until you were squirming desperately in his arms. Finally, he wrenched his lips from yours, leaving you both gasping for air, your trucker’s broad chest heaving in time with yours where you were crushed against his body.

“You missed getting woken up with my cock in your cunt, didn’t you, you filthy little slut?” Ari cooed meanly, pushing you back so he could grin at the kiss-drunk look on your face while he slapped your ass. “Show me how much you missed me, cock whore. Show me with that depraved little mouth of yours.”

His command was your only warning before Ari shoved you down to the bed, tipping your face up so it was level with his groin. Your nose nudged the bulge in his jeans, and you felt his cock twitch in response, making you smile and nuzzle deeper into his lap.

You weren’t surprised by the shift in your trucker’s mood, or by the fact that he was steering you both back to much more familiar territory rather than confronting the implications of what you’d said—or what he’d done by forgetting to chain you up before he’d gone out. Ari wasn’t the type of man to talk about his feelings, but that didn’t mean something wasn’t shifting between you two.

Ari was finally starting to trust you, to believe that you weren’t going to leave him. You were sure of it. You just had to be patient while he came to terms with it. And if that meant sucking his cock instead of talking more? Well, it wasn’t like you didn’t love having Ari’s cock down your throat. 

You let the conversation go and pressed your face against Ari’s bulge, kissing and licking his hardness through his jeans, moaning when you inhaled the familiar scent of him straight from the source. Your fingers fumbled with the button and fly of his jeans, not bothering to pull your face away because you couldn’t bear to move. 

Besides, you knew Ari would give you a hand when he was good and ready. So you focused most of your attention on worshipping his cock through his jeans, running your tongue along the thick length of him through the rough denim, mouthing and sucking on the tip until the fabric was drenched in your spit. 

Eventually, Ari grew tired of you whining for his cock and fumbling with his fly, and he took over. He made quick work of undoing his jeans for you, shoving them down his thick thighs until his massive cock bounced free—right into your face. 

The long, girthy length bumped your nose and you purred happily, kissing the base of his cock and flicking your tongue out to lap at his balls. Then you craned your neck up to look at your trucker, his cock laying across your cheek as a sultry smile spread across your face. 

“I missed your cock sooo much, daddy,” you purred, giving Ari what he wanted—what he needed. You pressed wet, open-mouthed kisses along the line of his shaft while smiling up at your trucker. “Missed waking up to your fat cock splitting open my tight cunt, missed creaming all over your big dick first thing in the morning.” 

You cut off your own gushing words by taking Ari’s flushed tip into your mouth and sucking him deep into your throat. The tension that had begun to bleed from his body while you spoke drained entirely as you bobbed your mouth on his cock. You gave him a sloppy blowjob, drool filling your mouth and leaking from the corners to make a mess of your chin.

Ari’s broad shoulders were relaxed and his big hands were holding your face while his head dropped back, a pleased groan tumbling from his lips as his hips shunted forward, forcing his cock deeper into your throat. You gagged, making wet gluk-gluk-gluk sounds as he fucked your throat, trying to loosen and let him deeper as your hips humped idly against the pillow still stuck between your thighs. 

“Such a hungry little cock whore,” Ari rumbled, his voice rolling over you like the crashing waves of the near-distant ocean, sending pleasure down your spine and making you moan around his big cock. “Good slut, take daddy’s cock deep into that filthy mouth—lemme fuck your throat like it’s a pussy.”

Your trucker’s hips thrust forward and he buried his cock all the way to the base in your mouth, using his grip to hold you down while you choked and gagged and tried to get used to the thick girth of him. All the while, Ari groaned his pleasure, enjoying the way your throat clenched around his cock, until finally you managed to relax your muscles.

When you blinked tears from your eyes, you looked up and found your trucker grinning almost affectionately down at you, his eyes glittering like the bright sunshine off the blue water of the sea. His thumb brushed a tear from your cheek, then pushed it into the corner of your mouth beside his thick cock, feeding you your salty tears while he chuckled at the way his thumb distorted your face. 

“Are you thirsty, too, kiddo?” Ari cooed condescendingly, barely waiting for you to even think about nodding before he was moving. 

Pulling his cock from your mouth with an obscene wet sound, Ari lifted your head away from his groin, giving you a half-hearted glare when you whimpered pathetically at the loss of his heavy weight on your tongue. His hand wrapped around the underside of your chin, fingers digging into your cheeks as a slow, cruel grin curled his mouth.

“Open up, baby, and stick out your tongue for daddy.”

Obediently, you did as Ari commanded, opening your mouth wide and pushing your tongue out eagerly, waiting for what you knew was to come. You watched as Ari gathered saliva on his tongue, your hips wiggling excitedly while he pursed his lips. You stared up at your trucker with pleading eyes. 

Ari’s warm spit hit your tongue and you swallowed it with a pleased smile and a happy humming sound. “Thank you, daddy,” you murmured, your voice husky from how roughly he’d fucked your throat. Then you opened your mouth again and stuck out your tongue, just like your trucker had trained you. 

It made Ari chuckle, and the delicious rumble of it sent a shower of pleasure cascading down your body to settle heavily between your thighs, where your pussy clenched around nothing. A whine worked its way up your throat, and you squirmed in Ari’s hold, not able to ask for what you wanted with your mouth open and tongue out. 

“Still thirsty, sweetheart?” he asked in that patronizing tone you loved so much. 

You nodded your head as best you could with his hand still gripping your chin, but it was enough to make him grin and chuckle condescendingly at your eagerness. “That’s my good slut,” he purred, shifting his hand and pursing his lips, spitting on you again.

Instead of landing on your tongue, though, the glob of spit landed on your cheek, making you flinch a little. Blinking in surprise, opened your mouth wider and stared up at Ari, holding your pose even with his spit on your cheek.

“Oops, baby, I missed,” Ari cooed, his tone so unrepentant that you knew it hadn’t been a mistake. When he gathered more saliva on his tongue and spit on you again, you managed not to flinch even as he missed for a second time. “Fuck, I keep missing—guess I’ll just have to feed it to you, huh?”

Ari held your throat firmly in his grip while using the fingers of his other hand to gather up the spit on your cheek. Without warning, he shoved two of his fingers deep into your mouth, feeding you his spit while you choked and gagged on him. 

More tears sprang to your eyes as he pushed the tips of his thick fingers against the back of your throat, making you struggle and squirm in his grip. But Ari was unrelenting, his blue eyes sparkling with humor as he pulled his fingers free, scooped up the rest of his spit and thrust back into your mouth. 

“That’s it, kiddo, take daddy’s fingers deep in that pretty little throat,” Ari muttered, his gaze bright and intense as he watched you try hard to take his fingers. “Choke on them just like you gag on my big daddy dick.”

Warmth rushed through your body at his filthy, degrading words, and you loved it. You loved the way he treated, you the way he talked to you, and you wanted to be good for him, to do as he said. So you steeled yourself, learning Ari’s rhythm and starting to meet his thrusting fingers with a forward bob of your head.

Ari laughed when he realized what you were doing, the pleased sound washing over you as deliciously as any praise, and the corners of your mouth tipped up in a smile while drool and spit and tears streamed down your face. 

You were a mess, but you knew your trucker loved defiling your face and body, so you didn’t make any move to wipe yourself clean. Your hands stayed curled in his t-shirt, clinging to your trucker while he had his fun with you.

“That’s my girl,” Ari purred, pulling his fingers from your mouth and laughing huskily as you sucked in air. His hand squeezed around your throat until your gaze met his. “I take such good care of you, don’t I, kiddo?” he asked, a wolfish smile spreading across his handsome face.

For some reason, Ari’s question struck a chord deep in your heart, and your breath caught in your throat. You weren’t sure if there was a deeper meaning to his question, or if you were just reading into it too much, but it didn’t feel like simple dirty talk anymore. Without thinking, you let the truth spill from your lips.

“Yes, you do, daddy. You know exactly how to take care of me,” you said in a rush, the words nearly tripping over themselves in their eagerness to tumble off your tongue. “You’re everything I need, you’re everything I want—you’re everything to me, Ari.”

It was the closest you’d ever come to saying how you truly felt about your trucker, and as soon as the words were out of your mouth, you went completely still, horror washing through your heart that you might’ve read the situation and his mood wrong. Your eyes went wide, like you couldn’t believe what you’d just admitted, and waited for Ari to react. 

Everything in your gut told you he was going to dump you, that you’d pushed him too far and he was going to retreat into himself and do what everyone had always done to you—leave. As the seconds ticked on, with Ari’s unreadable blue eyes raking over your face, you were more and more certain he was going to pull away and leave you all alone.

“Fuck, I need to be inside you,” Ari muttered, something deep inside your trucker snapping. 

Between one breath and the next, he was using his hand around your neck to shove you backward onto the bed, his big body chasing you down and climbing onto the mattress to cover you.

It wasn’t graceful, the way Ari bullied his hips between your thighs, and it wasn’t gentle, the way he shoved his cock into your cunt without preparation. A startled cry burst from your lips, but your trucker didn’t stop, pulling his hips back and plunging into your pussy again.

It felt like he was splitting you open with his thick girth, but you relished the sting because it meant Ari wasn’t leaving. Instead, he was pushing deeper and deeper into your body, like he planned to stake his claim on your heart, and build a home between your ribs. 

“Ari, please,” you whined, clawing at the t-shirt he still wore until he paused long enough to tear it off over his head. Then you pulled him back down on top of you, so his big body was crushing yours into the mussed blankets of the bed. “I need more—I need it all, daddy. I need you, please.”

You pressed your face into Ari’s beard just under his jaw so you could whimper your desperate pleas and keening sounds straight into the pulse thrumming beneath his skin. Your ankles hooked around the backs of his thighs, your arms wrapping around his shoulders, clinging to your trucker for dear life as he worked his cock deeper into your body.

“That’s fucking right,” Ari growled, pulling his hips back until only the tip of his cock remained inside you, then his hips drove forward, impaling you completely with one brutal thrust on his final word. 

You screamed your pleasure into Ari’s beard, the cry feeling like it was torn from your throat. Already, you were shaking and overwhelmed with the delicious mix of pleasure and pain only your trucker offered, but he didn’t give you even a moment to acclimate before he started fucking you, words spilling from his lips.

“You fucking need me, don’t you, baby?” Ari seethed, biting his words out through gritted teeth while he fucked you in hard, merciless strokes, making you feel every inch of his thick length as it pounded into your helpless, greedy pussy. “You need me and only me—and you’ll never fucking leave me, isn’t that right, sweetheart?”

Ari’s words were a condescending sneer, but you knew your trucker well enough to hear the need beneath his tone. He was just as scared of you leaving him as you were of him leaving you. He needed reassurance that you weren’t going to abandon him, and you were more than happy to give it.

“Yes, yes, Ari, I’ll never leave you—I need you,” you cried, tears streaming from your eyes as emotion and pleasure swirled dangerously in your belly. “I need you, daddy, I need you. Oh god, I need…”

You trailed off as a wailing sob of pleasure worked its way up your throat, spilling from your parted lips. You buried your face deeper into Ari’s beard, trying to muffle your pathetic sounds, even as they spurred your trucker on, his hips snapping furiously between your thighs. 

“Come, cock whore,” Ari commanded, fucking you hard into the mattress. “Show daddy what a perfect little slut you are, kiddo, and come all over my big, fat dick.” 

He was everywhere—his broad body covering yours, hips snapping between your thighs to bury his thick cock deep in your pussy, hitting a spot that had your breath hitching on a scream. He wrapped himself around you, his biceps bulging deliciously next to your head as he held you in the cage of his arms. 

Ari pounded into you harder, one of his hands finding your throat and squeezing the sides until you could barely breathe. His teeth nipped at your neck, the sting of pain adding a delicious edge to the pleasure, before he was growling words in your ear that would ruin you. 

“Come for me, baby,” Ari cooed meanly. “While I split this cunt open in the way only I can, so you’ll never forget that you fucking need me.”

With a strangled scream, you came undone, your very being unravelling at the unguarded emotion in Ari’s words and the perfect way his cock filled you, fucked you. Pleasure washed over you and through you, shaking you down to your soul while you came apart on Ari’s cock. 

Black crept into your vision, and you didn’t even care, your mind too focused on the bliss spiralling through your body. But before you could pass out, Ari relented, a grunt spilling from his lips as he buried his face in your neck, sucking on your pulse point hard enough that your pussy clasped weakly around his cock.

Ari’s hips stuttered in their rhythm before he pressed himself deep in your cunt, but you didn’t feel the twitching throb of his release filling you. He squeezed you tight in his arms, a slight tremble wracking his body like he was exerting a great deal of effort.

As you came back to yourself, you noticed your trucker was still obscenely hard inside you. You felt strangely hollow without his come leaking out around his cock. A thread of unease worked down your spine, and you lifted shaking fingers to tangle in his hair. 

“Ari…?” you asked, your voice small and anxious in a way you hadn’t heard it since you’d gotten into his truck. You hated how uncertain and vulnerable you sounded, but in all your time with your trucker, you couldn’t think of any time when he hadn’t come inside you.

Before you could wonder what you’d done wrong, Ari lifted up enough so he could meet your gaze with his dark blue eyes. He shot you a depraved little smirk, something almost affectionate in the way his eyes crinkled at the edges. 

“You did good, baby,” he murmured charmingly, even as a little bit of condescension crept into his tone. “But I’m not done with you yet.” 

His praise soothed the anxiety curdling in your belly, and you were so preoccupied by your relief, it took you a moment to understand his words. You didn’t think you imagined the perverted glint in his gaze, and an echoing smile tugged at the edges of your mouth.

Ari pressed a quick kiss to your lips. “I got something for you while I was out,” he explained, still remaining vague. “Something to prepare you for when I take you to meet my friends.”

That statement piqued your curiosity, and you brightened at the idea of a present. While living with Ari, he’d made sure you wanted for nothing important, and got you little gifts sometimes. But it was rare for him to get you something for a reason so mysterious, and it made you excited to see what it could be. 

“What is it?” you asked, your voice still a little breathless from your release—and from your eagerness to see what he’d gotten you.

Extricating himself from your body, and ignoring the low moan that slipped from your lips when he pulled his still-hard cock from your sensitive pussy, Ari stood from the bed. He shed what remained of his clothes, and grabbed a paper bag from where he’d dropped it just inside the bedroom door.

You lifted your head, but couldn’t make out what was in the bag. To your surprise, Ari didn’t immediately rejoin you on the bed. Instead, he stalked into the bathroom, as if on a mission, leaving you to wonder what on Earth he was doing. 

For a moment, you were distracted by the sight of Ari’s naked body. 

After so much time on the road, when you only got to see bits and parts of his body—his bare chest with its thick coat of hair that felt delicious against your tightened nipples, or his tree-trunk thighs with their muscles flexing beneath your fingertips when he fucked your throat—it still felt like a treat to see his whole bare form so often.

And you were positively gluttonous for it. Your gaze raked down Ari’s body, appreciating the broad cut of his shoulders, every golden inch of his skin, every thick thatch of hair, every ridge and vein of his fat cock as it bobbed between his thighs, every sinew and muscle moving as he walked to the bathroom. 

As he disappeared through the doorway, you got a good look at Ari’s ass, and you nearly whimpered at the sight of it. Wildly, you had the impulse to bite it, your core clenching and a sultry smile spreading across your face at the idea of what your trucker might do in retaliation. Whatever it was, you knew it’d be deliciously depraved…

Those thoughts kept you occupied while Ari busied himself in the bathroom, doing whatever it was he was doing. Distantly, you heard plastic tearing open and running water, but couldn’t fathom what it meant, not when you were imagining your trucker marking your ass in his own, filthy way.

You were so distracted by your fantasies, you almost missed Ari emerging from the bathroom. Once you noticed his appearance, you smiled at your trucker, your gaze sliding curiously to his hands. When you saw what Ari was holding, your eyes widened in surprise and your breath caught in your throat on a soft gasp.

“Don’t worry, kiddo,” Ari rumbled in response to the expression on your face, a sadistic smirk tugging at his mouth. “It’ll fit.”

Your gaze flicked between Ari’s ruthlessly handsome face and the positively massive dildo in his hands, not so sure he was right about that. Sure, your trucker had a big cock, and you’d even taken his fist before, but the silicone cock he was holding looked even more intimidating.

“On your knees.”

It didn’t surprise you that Ari wasn’t giving you a chance to wrap your mind around the idea of taking such a large toy for him, but still, you were too distracted to follow his command immediately. Impatient for your obedience, your trucker stepped closer to the bed, grabbed your ankles and flipped you onto your stomach. 

You let Ari manhandle you into position while your thoughts remained caught on the huge dildo he held. Even without your eyes on it, you could still picture it. It was the thickest, fatest cock you’d ever seen—almost unnaturally so. 

It was the kind of cock that could split you open, stretch you beyond belief, ruin you for anyone but Ari…

Somehow, that thought made your pussy pulse with renewed desire, more wetness gathering in your already messy slit and coating your already drenched folds. Your thighs were sticky from your earlier release, but already your body craved more. 

Suddenly, you didn’t care if that included the fake dick Ari had gotten you, even if it was going to take some work to take it into your body. Your inner muscles clenched around nothing, begging to be filled—begging to be ruined by Ari’s cock and the toy he’d gotten for you.

As he arranged your body so that you were head down, ass up on the mussed sheets of the bed, you wondered which of your holes he intended to use the dildo on. Your body squirmed a little in excitement, your hips swaying slightly side to side as your heart beat excitedly in your chest. 

Once you were in position, you heard the sheets rustling behind you, the slight creak of the mattress’s bedsprings, and craned your head to look over your shoulder to see what Ari was doing. You watched his large body climb onto the bed, moving as swiftly and gracefully as a predator as he got behind you.

Your trucker was wearing an evil smirk on his handsome face, which only deepened when he caught you looking. He laid the thick shaft of the sex toy in the valley of your ass cheeks, letting you feel the weight and girth of it while he grabbed your hips and positioned himself.

His knees dug into the mattress on the outside of yours, forcing you to press your thighs together. You knew the position would make you feel tighter for him, and make his cock and the dildo feel even bigger inside your body. Your belly swooped with another surge of excitement, your desire dripping from your slit and making a mess of your thighs.

“What’s the occasion for the present, daddy?” you asked breathlessly, trying to distract yourself so you didn’t whine for Ari to fuck you already. “It’s not my birthday,” you said saucily, lowering your upper body down to the bed, arching your spine and presenting your ass for your trucker. 

“There’s no occasion, sweetheart, it’s to prepare you,” Ari reminded you, a depraved kind of humor in his tone. He gave your ass an affectionate smack, nearly dislodging the dildo from where it lay.

You only had time to giggle at the feel of your ass jiggling before Ari swiped the toy cock and shoved it deep into your pussy. Your laugh cut off in a scream, the thick intrusion of the dildo filling you up so suddenly, it punched the sound from your lungs. 

In all your time with your trucker, you’d gotten used to  Ari thrusting his big cock into your tight hole, but it felt different with the dildo. The feeling wasn’t necessarily unpleasant—you were plenty wet enough to take the thick toy, and it felt good to be stretched—but you still would’ve preferred to have your trucker’s cock inside you than the silicone dildo.

“Hnghh, daddy,” you gasped when you were able to suck in some air and breathe around the fake cock filling your cunt. 

It wasn’t like Ari to give you time to adjust, and sure enough, your trucker began fucking you in short, deep thrusts with the toy. But you were still curious about why he was using the dildo and not his own cock—why he hadn’t come inside you. 

“Prepare me for what?” you asked, dredging the words from the depths of your mind as you tried to continue the conversation.

Ari didn’t answer you right away, focusing instead on fucking you harder and faster with the silicone cock. You melted into the bed, basking in the pleasure the toy offered and letting loud moans spill uninhibited from your lips. You were halfway to mindless when he finally spoke, ignoring your question.

“Look at you, cock whore, you really were made for this—made for taking cock and enjoying it,” he rumbled, something close to awe in his tone. He pounded into you with the dildo, and you were so wet, your pussy was making obscene squelching sounds that had Ari chuckling. “Tell me, baby, d’you like this toy cock better than mine?” 

There was a low, dangerous warning in the teasing way Ari asked the question, and your cunt clasped reflexively around the dildo, trying to suck it deeper into your body. Ari obliged, pushing the fake cock into your hole until it hit the end of you, then he bullied your cervix with it, adding a delicious edge of pain to your pleasure.

“No, never,” you cried into the sheets, drool dripping from your parted lips and tears leaking from your eyes. “Yours is the best dick I’ll ever have,” you gushed, the truth spilling easily from your mouth while your body took everything your trucker had to give. “I love your cock, daddy, I love it so much—nothing will ever compare. It’s all I ever want for the rest of my life.”

Ari laughed, the sound mocking and a little bit affectionate, sending pulses of warmth straight to your pussy and heart. He slowed the pounding of the toy cock, changing the pace to deep, long thrusts that had you gasping and making the most pornographic sounds that had ever come from your lips.

“There’s something wrong with you, baby, if you love my dirty, filthy trucker cock that much,” he teased in a patronizing tone that made you clench even harder around the fake cock. 

Without warning, Ari brought his hand down on your ass in a sharp spank, but it wasn’t punishing—it was a reward, one that he repeated on the other cheek, slapping you hard enough for the sound to reverberate around the room. It made you moan so loud, you almost didn’t hear his next words.

“There’s something wrong with you if I’m what you want.”

Your heart squeezed in your chest and you whipped your head around to look at Ari over your shoulder. His dark blue eyes were fathomless as he stared into your face, a challenge in his expression. You realized, suddenly, that he expected you to fight him, to tell him there wasn’t anything wrong with either of you—and you knew that he knew it would be lie.

Instead, you told him the truth.

“There is something wrong with me, Ari,” you told him seriously, no hint of a joke in your tone. “And you’re a sick, perverted man for taking advantage of it—but I’m exactly where I want to be.” You folded your hands on top of each other and lay your cheek on them, giving Ari your most wicked smirk. “So do your worst, daddy. I can take it.”

With a feral sound, Ari fell on top of you, grabbing your face and pulling you into a wild, unrestrained kiss, his tongue plunging into your mouth and taking possession. 

He kissed you as violently as he fucked you, pouring so much emotion into your mouth that it made your head spin. He was hungry, ravenous, and it was all you could do to meet him with your own desire and passion.

Finally, Ari pulled away and sucked in a deep breath, leaving you gasping. He patted your cheek patronizingly, more than a little fondness in the gesture. 

“That’s my girl,” he growled against your mouth, nipping at your kiss-swollen lower lip before finally sitting back on his haunches. “Now, let’s hope you got this toy cock nice and slick, sweetheart, because I forgot to grab some lube while I was out.”

You knew your trucker well enough to know when he wasn’t telling the truth, and in that moment, you knew he hadn’t forgotten anything. He’d planned to use the dildo on your ass no matter how slick it was, and that depraved realization had you moaning low in your throat, the sound ratcheting higher into a whine when Ari pulled the toy cock from your pussy.

You barely had time to mourn the thick fullness in your cunt before the rounded head of the fake cock was pressing against the tight rosebud of your ass. You were no stranger to having Ari fuck your ass, and your body relaxed on instinct to make his entrance easier on both of you.

“Be a good slut and let me in, cock whore,” Ari urged, pushing the dildo into your ass. When the tip popped past the ring of muscle, you groaned obscenely, your body twitching at the thick intrusion. “Good girl, relax—I wanna see your ass take your new toy to the root.”

Little by little, your body yielded to the dildo. You let out a long, loud moan as Ari filled you with inch after thick, rigid inch of the fake cock. You panted while it slipped deeper and deeper, until the flared base finally pressed to your asscheeks. 

When the dildo was fully buried in your ass, you let out an exhale of relief, feeling proud of yourself for taking everything Ari had given you. You felt so full, even as your pussy clenched weakly, your desire dripping down your thighs and making them sticky with your lust. 

But still, you knew Ari wasn’t done. If he’d wanted to fuck your ass, he could’ve used his own cock. Your mind flicked back to what he’d told you earlier, about how he was trying to prepare you for something. 

Suddenly, you had an inkling of what might be coming—especially with your trip to visit his friends looming so close on the horizon. Your theory was confirmed when Ari sat up on his knees and lined up his cock with your pussy. You only had time to suck in an excited breath and angle your hips higher before he began pushing inside.

“Fuck, kiddo, you feel so fucking tight like this,” Ari growled, his palms grabbing big handfuls of your ass, his thumbs holding the dildo deep in your hole. “Your cunt’s choking my cock—it’s fucking heaven,” he said, his words almost slurred with pleasure. 

Ari used his grip on your body to pull you further onto his hard, thick length, wringing a pathetic whine from your lips while he groaned his pleasure loudly. It was right on the edge of too much, your ass stuffed full and his fat cock pushing deeper and deeper, filling you beyond what you thought possible.

“Maybe I should always fuck you like this, cock whore,” Ari rumbled, a hint of teasing in his tone. “Fake cock buried in one hole to make you tighter for me—or maybe I’ll fuck you with both in one hole and fucking ruin you. Gape you so wide you won’t be able to feel a single cock anymore.”

A desperate, helpless whine caught in your throat at his words, at the unbelievable stretch of being filled with two cocks and trying to imagine both in one hole. “Ari—oh my god, Ari,” was all you could manage as your mind was overwhelmed with sensation.

You felt your trucker everywhere—his cock drilling deeper into your cunt, his hands holding your hips like he never planned to let go, his scent invading your lungs from the sheets pressed against your cheek. It felt like he was damn near imprinted on your soul with how thoroughly he was possessing you. You’d never felt such exquisite ecstasy.

When Ari was finally fully buried to the root inside your pussy, he dug one of his arms underneath your chest, his palm skimming up the valley between your tits to wrap around your throat. Using his grip on your neck, Ari hauled you up, sitting back on his haunches so you were seated on his cock.

The position had his hard length and the dildo thrusting another inch deeper into your cunt and ass, his pelvis holding the toy plugged in your hole. You cried out, the pain-edged pleasure almost too much, making you squirm between Ari’s thick thighs at the impossible fullness you felt. 

But your trucker simply banded his other arm around your waist, holding you pinned right where he wanted you, impaled on his cock and the toy he’d gotten for this exact reason. All you could do was pant through the mind-boggling sensation of being stuffed so full, your cunt dripping indecently as pleasure burned through your blood.

“Look at you, taking two cocks in your holes,” Ari cooed in your ear, his big hand wrapped around your throat like a collar. “You’re such a dirty, slutty cock whore, baby,” he hummed, rolling his hips and fucking you in one, long, languid movement that made it feel like he was thrusting impossibly deeper into your body.

“Ari, it’s t-too much,” you cried. You’d lost control of yourself under the onslaught of pleasure, your hips wiggling, body writhing, fighting to get away from the overwhelmingly fullness between your thighs. You were in serious danger of blacking out from the devastating euphoria.

A deep, rumbling chuckle sounded in Ari’s chest, teasing down your spine. Then, your trucker slapped your tits meanly, his fingers catching cruelly on your nipples. 

Vicious zaps of pain joined the storm of pleasure raging in your body and you screamed, your shoulders pitching forward only for you to be forced back against Ari’s unyielding chest. The ruthless pain brought you crashing back down to earth and you were more aware than ever of Ari, of his cock and the toy inside you, and you succumbed to him.

“Nothing’s too much for you, cock whore,” Ari growled in your ear, a glimmer of pride in his words that was almost hidden beneath the roughness of his tone. “Besides, this is a fucking kindness.” He rolled his hips again, his fingers squeezing around your throat and choking you savagely while he used his other hand to abuse your tits. 

You were helpless in Ari’s arms, and it felt glorious giving the entirety of yourself over to your trucker. You were his toy to use, and it made you feel good to be used, to be the filthy, depraved cock whore he called you. You were never happier than when your trucker let loose and truly did as he pleased with you, just like he was in that moment.

So overcome by your pleasure, you nearly missed Ari’s next words, but somehow they penetrated the lustful haze in your head.

“Next week, we’ll be paying my friends a visit, and I’ll pay them for their services by letting them do damn near anything they want to you,” Ari rumbled, punctuating his words with rough thrusts of his hips, fucking you deeper with his cock and pushing the dildo in your ass. “And if I know my friends, they’re going to get creative about how they fuck you.”

Your mouth was open, helpless whines and desperate moans spilling from your lips uninhibited. You couldn’t control the sounds coming from your mouth, just like you couldn’t control the way your body shivered and your cunt clenched hard at Ari’s threatening words. And he wasn’t done.

“They might split your cunt and ass open on their cocks, sweetheart, and they’ll care even less than I do about whether it’s too much for you,” Ari ground out, using his hand around your throat to tip your head back so he could meet your gaze out of the corner of your eye. “You should thank me, baby, for preparing you with my cock and your new toy so they don’t tear you apart.”

“Thank you, daddy. Thank you, daddy. Thank you, daddy,” you babbled, sobbing your pleasure, your tongue loosened by the sheer amount of delicious delirium surging through your body. “You’re so good to me, daddy, making me feel soooo good—I’ll do anything for you. I’ll do anything you say, Ari. Anything.”

That declaration, wrenched from deepest part of your heart, seemed to surprise Ari. 

He slowed his brutal thrusts and pressed a finger to your jaw so he could look at your face more fully. He searched your expression, and you knew your devotion to him was plain as day by the way his eyes darkened in response. Depraved possessiveness twisted his features into something even more devilishly attractive.

“Anything?” Ari asked mockingly, a new edge in his voice. “What if I told you to leave, baby? What if I told you to leave me and never come back?”

You felt those questions like a punch to the sternum, stealing the breath from your lungs as your heart cracked in half. Panic like you’d never known before flooded your chest, tears springing to your eyes, and you couldn’t help the way your body fought against his hold. 

But Ari’s arms tightened around you, nearly crushing you with his strength, and it finally calmed you enough to realize your trucker wasn’t trying to poke at your insecurities. He was laying his own vulnerabilities bare for you to see, and you knew your answer would make or break your relationship. 

Reaching up, you cupped your handsome trucker’s face in your hand, your fingers threading through his beard until your nails could scratch lightly at his jaw. Normally, he might’ve leaned into your touch, but his eyes were fixed too intensely on your face, waiting too anxiously for your answer.

“If you told me to leave,” you said slowly, picking your words carefully, “I’d leave, and you’d never see me again, Ari.” You smiled sadly at your trucker, showing him the tenderest, most scarred part of your heart. “I’ve been with men who didn’t want me before—I’ve clung to them until they forced me to leave them.” 

Your heart thumped heavily in your chest, remembering the man who’d tossed you out of his car on the side of the road. He hadn’t cared about you. He’d thrown you away like trash. And even though it had led to you meeting Ari, it still stung to know you would’ve given everything to a man who never would’ve appreciated you.

“I won’t make that mistake again, I can’t,” you murmured, your voice breaking on your last word as tears streaked down your cheeks. Ari didn’t wipe them away, instead he looked at them hungrily, like they fed something deep and dark in his soul. “I won’t ever leave you—unless you tell me to.”

Ari’s chest was heaving like he’d run a marathon, his breaths sawing in and out of his mouth and brushing against your cheek. For the first time since you’d met him, he looked too stunned for words. You took the opportunity of his silence to drive your point home.

“I am yours,” you vowed, pulling your fingers from his beard and trailing down to the pendant around your neck, the one that listed your name as Baby and defined you as property of Ari Levinson on the back. “For the rest of my life, I belong to you, Ari—or until you don’t want me anymore.”

That final comment seemed to snap Ari from the daze he’d been trapped in, and his hand shifted from your throat to wrap under your chin, gripping you ferociously as his eyes bored into yours with their intensity.

“I’ll never stop wanting you.” The words felt ripped from the very depths of Ari’s soul, his voice almost animalistic in its rawness. “You’re in my head, you’re in my fucking skin—baby, you live in the black hole where my heart used to be.”

Ari pressed his forehead to yours, and though the angle was awkward, you’d never felt more connected to your trucker. Your breathing synchronized, and it felt like even your hearts began beating in tune with each other. For a moment, Ari simply held you, like he was gathering himself, and you were struck speechless by how undone he was.

“You are mine, and I’m never fucking letting you go,” Ari rumbled, his voice sounding like the roar of the ocean during a storm. “I’ll never tell you to leave me. Do you understand me, baby?” 

“Yes, Ari,” you said on a sigh of relief. 

It was on the tip of your tongue to tell your trucker you loved him, but in your heart of hearts, you knew he wasn’t ready to hear it yet. So you held the words behind your lips and dragged Ari’s mouth to yours, giving him a filthy, messy kiss, conveying all the emotions that were too big for words.

When you broke the kiss, you pressed your forehead to his and, for a moment, the two of you held each other as tight as possible. You couldn’t tell Ari you loved him yet, but you knew it was true, and you were certain he’d love you as well, if he didn’t already. The thought made you smile.

Then, Ari was shoving you forward onto the bed, one of his hands curling around your throat while the other palm slid over your face, two fingers thrusting into your mouth and making you gag on them. He choked you and fucked you, making a mess of your face while you drooled around his fingers, muffled moans spilling from your mouth.

It wasn’t long before you could feel Ari’s cock twitching in your cunt, a sign that he was getting close. You were stretched so tight around him and the dildo, you could feel every throb of his hard length, could imagine every drop of his precum leaking into your hole. 

“Rub your clit for me, cock whore,” Ari rasped meanly in your ear, shoving his fingers deeper into your mouth and making you gag loudly, only to squeeze his other hand tighter around your throat, wringing the dumbest, most obscene sounds from your lips. “Come on your daddy’s cock, kiddo.”

With how Ari had your head bent back, his hand gripping your face, the position was awkward for you, but the command from your trucker was one you especially wanted to follow. So you braced yourself on one arm and reached under your body, straining until your fingers found the puffy little bundle of nerves. 

You rubbed your clit just the way Ari would—harshly, mercilessly—and even though your fingers weren’t as big or as rough as his, the delicious torture had you clenching even tighter around your trucker’s cock and the dildo in your ass. 

He groaned, changing the pace of his thrusts to be long and hard, hitting that spot deep inside you that had your moans hitching higher into helpless whimpers. He drilled into you, chasing his release, and it was all you could do to rub your clit and chase it with him.

“That’s it, baby,” Ari growled roughly, bringing his head close to your ear so he could nip at the lobe before spilling even more filth into your head. “Come on the cock that made you into the dirty, perfect slut you’ve become since meeting me.”

With a choked, muffled scream, you shattered apart into a thousand glittering pieces of pleasure, nearly blacking out from the lack of air and overwhelming euphoria. You hung suspended in the endless moment of bliss, pleasure pusling through every nerve in your body.

Your muscles clenched down hard on the toy in your ass, and your cunt strangled Ari’s cock, dragging him over the edge after you. He came with a rough shout, burying his face in your shoulder, his teeth sinking into your skin as he bit his mark into you, no doubt leaving bruises in the shape of his mouth behind on your body.

Together, you writhed through your releases, wanton moans and whines spilling from your lips while Ari growled a litany of mean praise into your skin, telling you what a perfect cock whore you were for him, doing such a good job milking the seed from his balls while your ass was stuffed full of your new toy.

Finally, when you felt entirely wrung out, Ari let you slump to the bed, a boneless heap of sated pleasure. Your trucker was surprisingly gentle as he pulled the silicone dick from your ass, and somewhat less careful when he slipped his own softening cock from your cunt. 

He ambled to the bathroom, giving you a perfect view of his broad back, thick thighs and perfect ass, making you smile dazedly at the delicious picture he painted. 

Once he was out of view, you heard the sink running and assumed he was washing the dildo. When he returned, Ari deposited the fake cock on the bedside table, then flopped down beside you, his chest still heaving slightly as he caught his breath. 

Instinctively, you scooted closer, curling into his side, throwing one leg over his thigh, neither of you caring about the mess when you pressed your well-used pussy to his hip. If anything, it made Ari rumble a happy sound, his arms curling around your body, and grabbing a possessive handful of your ass while he held you close.

“Tell me something,” you began, amusement and exhaustion clear in your voice. “Did you really want to prepare me for your friends, or did you just hate the idea that they might get to DP me first?”

Ari grumbled for a moment, and you thought he wouldn’t respond, though you were reasonably sure you knew what his answer would be. But your trucker surprised you by hauling you closer, until the entire length of your body was pressed against the side of his larger, stronger form.

“You’re mine, baby,” he growled against your temple, determination clear in his tone. “I’m gonna have fun watching those fuckers I call friends use you, but they don’t get to do anything to you I haven’t done already.” 

A delighted shiver raced down your spine at the perverted kind of possessiveness in you trucker’s voice and you lifted your head enough to meet his gaze. A smirk curled the edge of your mouth, a depraved challenge in your expression. 

“Didn’t you say something about how creative they are?” you asked, a teasing lilt to your words. As you watched your trucker’s face, his expression darkened. “You might need to work a little harder to make sure they don’t come up with something you haven’t thought of.”

In a second, Ari rolled you onto your back and pinned you to the bed with his massive form. He wrapped one big hand around your neck, catching on the delicate collar still circling the base of your throat. He paused, his blue eyes flaring, and an obsessive, possessive emotion flitting across his gaze. 

The fingers of his other hand slipped beneath the pendant on your collar, touch the words there—‘Property of Ari Levinson’. He traced the letters like he needed the reminder that you were his, that you weren’t going anywhere.

A soft, affectionate smile curled the corners of your lips as you stared up adoringly at your trucker, patiently watching him work through whatever he needed to work through. Your fingers curled around his ribs, your thighs bracketing his hips and urging him closer, until his hardening cock pressed against your damp, swollen pussy. 

After another moment, Ari’s eyes refocused on you and his mouth spread into a wicked smirk. He let go of the chain around your neck and reached for the dildo on the bedside table.

“If you think I can’t get creative, cock whore,” he began, pressing the tip of silicone dick to your lips until you opened and let him shove it into your mouth. It was so big, you gagged immediately, making Ari laugh meanly. “Then you don’t know me very well.”

Even though his words were a taunt, there was an underlying insecurity in Ari’s voice that you couldn’t let go unaddressed. Turning your head, you managed to spit the dildo out of your mouth and you reached for Ari, your fingers curling in his beard and bringing him close so you could look him dead in your eyes. 

“I know exactly who you are, Ari Levinson,” you told him, conviction ringing true in your words. “I know who you are, and I’m happy to belong to you.” 

You paused for a moment, letting what you’d said sink in. Ari’s eyes were almost unreadable, his expression a mask of stone, but the longer your words hung in the air between you, the more you saw that stone crack. There was a glimmer of something in your trucker’s eyes, something bone-deep and steady, something close to belief or trust. 

It made your heart soar, thumping happily against your ribs, and you offered your trucker a soft smile. Your fingers threaded through his beard, nails raking lightly at the skin beneath. You brought him down for a gentle kiss—gentler than any kiss you’d ever shared—before your mouth curved into a small, devious smirk.

“And I know you’re going to fuck my holes every which way with that dildo and your cock,” you murmured into his mouth, bringing you back to safer territory. You didn’t need a response to your declaration, just for him to hear you. “And I can’t fucking wait for you to ruin me before taking me to see your friends.”

At that, Ari chuckled, the deep, delicious sound rolling over your lips and down your spine, making your pussy clench weakly around nothing. His cock gave an answering twitch and he pushed his shaft deeper into your slick folds, right against your puffy, swollen clit and dripping hole. 

“You’re right, baby, you know me so well,” Ari purred, a pleased tone in his voice, as he grabbed the dildo and shoved it back into your mouth, fucking you shallowly with the silicone length. “I’m gonna demolish all your holes with my cock and your new toy so you’ll be ready to take good care of Lloyd and Curtis.” 

Your trucker’s eyes sparkled with something dark and possessive as he watched your mouth take the fake dick. He pushed it deeper with every stroke, enjoying the way you struggled and gagged around it. Tears streamed from your eyes down your temples, and drool coated your chin, but you finally took the dildo deep into your throat. 

“Good slut,” Ari cooed, brushing a kiss to your messy cheek before rumbling in your ear. “You’re gonna be a good toy for my friends next week, and you’re gonna make sure it’s worth their while to help us out, isn’t that right, cock whore?”

Ari lifted up so he could look you in the eye while you nodded awkwardly, and mumbled your sweetest, “Yes, daddy,” around the silicone dick in your mouth. Ari patted your cheek patronizingly, like you were nothing more than an obedient child and not a grown woman who adored him like he was your king—which only made your pussy leak more between your thighs.

“That’s a good girl, baby,” Ari rumbled, only a little bit of condescension in his tone. He wrapped his hand around your throat, squeezing it so you could feel your muscles clenching harder around the dildo. “Keep that dick in your mouth, sweetheart, while I destroy your pussy with my cock.”

With an eager nod, you pressed your fingers to the base of the dildo, keeping it buried in your mouth and throat while Ari focused on lining up his cock with your pussy. He pushed in with one ruthless thrust, making you scream as he filled your oversensitive hole. 

The sound of your pain-edged pleasure was muffled around the toy in your mouth, but it only spurred your trucker on to wring even more noises out of you. Ari laughed at your silly, helpless sounds, fucking you harder and rougher while you choked on the fake cock, his grip around your throat making sure you never forgot it was there. 

For the rest of the afternoon, Ari’s cock and the fake dick filled your holes in every combination your trucker could think of, devastating your ass, mouth and pussy until he was satisfied. 

When the two of you finally gave in to exhaustion, it was with Ari’s cock wedged deep in your pussy, the dildo pressed between your tits and snuggled to your chest like a stuffie. His palm pressed the pendant on your collar into the hollow of your throat, and you knew you’d wake up with the words on the back—‘Property of Ari Levinson’—imprinted into your skin. 

Even in sleep, your trucker staked his claim on your body, possessing you in every way possible—and you couldn’t have been happier. He was finally starting to trust you, and you held tight to that knowledge, falling asleep with a contented smile on your lips.

The next evening, after recovering from your afternoon marathon of fucking, the two of you were in the living room watching TV. You were curled up in Ari’s lap while he sat in the recliner, his hand gripping your bare thigh possessively beneath the hem of the sundress you wore. Ari’s other hand played idly with the delicate chain of the collar around your neck. 

Even after accidentally forgetting to chain you up when he’d gone out to get the dildo, he hadn’t swapped the collar out for one of the others, which you took as a good sign. In fact, he seemed to take great pleasure in tracing the edges of the engraving on the back, the one that read ‘Property of Ari Levinson’, which was what he was doing.

For the moment, you were content. 

You were still a little sore, but Ari had been feeding you well to help you recover, and you were still mostly full from dinner. But when you heard the song of an ice cream truck driving slowly down the street, your head perked up from Ari’s shoulder and you glanced outside. 

The setting sun cast the oceanside neighborhood in golden yellows and warm oranges, and you could already see some of the other residents poking their heads out, responding to the call of the ice cream truck on the spring evening. A child ran toward the sidewalk, happy parents trailing behind, a couple dollar bills clenched tight in his fist.

“Ooh, ice cream,” you said, looking to Ari with your eyes wide and eager. “Can we get some ice cream, daddy?” you asked sweetly, only a little bit of mischief in your happy smile.

Ari huffed a sigh like he was put out, but you saw the corner of his mouth flicker and knew he was amused by your antics. He patted your thigh before grabbing your hips and helping you to stand.

“My wallet’s in the bedroom,” he said, giving your ass a little smack through your sundress. “Go grab it, kiddo.”

With a nod and a giggle, you scampered off to do as he said, plucking the leather wallet off the bedside table beside where Ari normally slept, and returned to your trucker. He grabbed a twenty dollar bill from inside and handed it to you before crowding you toward the door.

At the front door, you paused and looked over your shoulder, checking with Ari before opening it. When gave a quick nod, you turned back and undid the locks on the door before opening it and stepping out onto the porch. 

Ari had been following you so closely, you’d assumed he was right behind you as you padded barefoot across the porch and began to descend the steps. But your shoulders were cold, Ari’s warmth nowhere to be found, and you froze, looking back.

Your trucker lingered in the door, arms crossed over his broad, bare chest as he leaned against the frame. His eyes were dark in the dimming light of sunset, and though you thought his mouth looked a little tight, he didn’t look angry or worried you might run. 

When you stopped and waited for him, he gestured for you to go ahead without him.

Your heart thudded happily in your chest when you realized what Ari was doing—he was trusting you to go outside alone. Granted, he was watching you from the porch, and with the ice cream truck parked by the sidewalk in front of his house, you’d never leave Ari’s sight. 

But it was still a big deal. In all the time you’d been with Ari, he’d never let you go outside unaccompanied. He’d always been with you, his hand holding yours, or his palm pressed against your lower back, or the back of your neck. And if he had to leave you alone, it was only because you were collared and chained up in his truck or to his bed—except, of course, the time he forgot.

So you knew it was a huge step for Ari to intentionally let you go to the ice cream truck by yourself, and you were more than eager to show your trucker he could trust you. 

A smile flickered around the edges of your mouth and you turned, walking determinedly down the rest of the porch steps and across the grass front lawn toward the crowd swarming the ice cream truck. You were intent on showing Ari that he could always trust you to come back.

You waited in line behind a few kids and their parents, glancing back every few seconds to make sure Ari was still there—and he was, standing sentinel, watching you. It warmed your heart to know he was close by, none of the unease you’d felt that morning in your gut. You felt safe under your trucker’s watch, and you were happy to have him in your life.

Finally, it was your turn to order and you got two ice cream cones, paying with Ari’s money, then skipped back to the house, a bounce in your step. You launched yourself at Ari as soon as you hit the top step of the porch, and he caught you easily while you giggled triumphantly.

Your mouth found his in a bruising, possessive kiss, both of you claiming each other. It was apparently filthy enough for one of the older kids still waiting in line at the ice cream truck to shout, “Get a room!”

A surprised laugh burst from your lips while Ari shot the kid one of his darkest glares. Some of the other kids screamed and laughed, high on sugar, as they played in the lingering light. The warmth of the spring day was slowly slipping away, but everyone was happy—including you and your trucker.

Ari tugged you into the house and once you were safely out of view of the neighborhood, he tossed the change you’d given him on the kitchen island. Then he pulled off your dress, undid the fly of his jeans, and pulled you down to straddle him in his recliner chair. He settled his hands on your hips and impaled you on his cock while you held onto the cones in your hands.

The two of you ate your ice cream like that, not caring if it dripped down your chest or down his, taking turns cleaning each other up. When your ice cream cones were gone, Ari captured your mouth in a delicious, devastating kiss, and began to fuck you, bouncing your hips on his lap and dragging the most obscene sounds from your lips.

Your trucker’s hand wrapped around the front of your throat, just above the collar that designated you as his property, and he held you close while he filled you with his cock, and eventually his come.

Once you both came, you collapsed against Ari’s chest and let him use your body to keep his cock warm, reveling in feeling of being your trucker’s perfect little fuck toy. You were his cock whore, his baby, and he was your trucker, your king. 

Even if your relationship didn’t have the most conventional of beginnings, with Ari finally starting to trust that you weren’t going to leave him, you were beginning to build the foundation of something real, something that would last for the rest of your lives.

You only needed to go see his friends—Lloyd Hansen and Curtis Everett—to get what you needed for the rest of your new life with Ari Levinson to truly begin.

trucker king masterlist

Almost none of you.

Steve’s is cleaner than a freshly waxed and plucked floor. Steve’s letter is perfect. He’s perfect. He’s the Golden Boy, designed in a bottle to be likable and confident and collected. Camera’s flash and his smile is whiter than the moon, and more blinding than the sun. He claps Tony on the back after a slightly mocking joke, clearly unfazed. He places his hand on Nat’s lower back in the most gentlemanly way possible, and everyone swoons like he’s some movie star.

He sits next to you on one of these panels you’re not allowed to skip—you tried to, and Clint dragged you to the helicopter like some misbehaving child—and ignores you all together. A tiny nod and smile for the cameras. Stiff shoulders that square away from you, like if he blocks you out, you’ll just vanish in the hazy lights.

He’d like it, if that happened. He’d probably throw a fucking party.

Because you don’t know why. You don’t know what you did. But Steve Rogers hates you, and no one even thought he was capable of that emotion.

It started the first time Nat dragged you in, spitting and weary like a feral cat. She’d given Steve and Tony the brief on your powers. Said that you had a good heart—although she hadn’t done an x-ray, so you have no idea how she was so sure—and asked to keep you.

Asked.

Natasha didn’t ask for anything. She said it like a question, and fixed Steve and Tony with the most terrifying glare in the world. Tony had shrugged, and Steve had tried to protest. Nat had crossed her arms and flicked her brows up in a silent challenge. Steve had swallowed, looked at you with a strange gleam in his eyes, and given up. He’d left the room with a grumble, not sparing you another glance. Tony would tell you later—after you annoyed it out of him—that he’d spent a month trying to talk Nat out of you. Like a toy he didn’t want her to be playing with.

You hadn’t said a single word. Natasha hadn’t told him anything about your past. And he still hadn’t wanted you there.

“Rogers,” you murmur, smiling at the flashing lights that—supposedly—have people behind them.

You’ve come to think of them more as vultures. They’d like to pick you apart and eat out whatever kind of black, charred thing you’re made of. You never give them the satisfaction.

Steve says your name, low and flat. His attention flits over, scanning you from the corner of his eye. You catch his gaze, and he looks away just as fast.

You roll your eyes and huff, slumping back in your seat. You drum your fingers on the smooth, deep blue cloth of the table. They gave you a water bottle. Maybe if you drink it fast enough, you can just go pee and skip this whole thing-

“Sit up.”

Steve speaks so low you almost don’t hear him. You frown at his profile—stupid clean jawline and strong features—and slump further in your seat. Just to test him. Just to make him twitch.

There aren’t a lot of things you find pride in. Being able to get under Steve’s skin is one of them.

He notices immediately, and shoots you a glare. You snort, and his eyes narrow.

“I told you to sit up-“

“I heard you.”

“And you didn’t listen?” Someone shouts his name. He turns to flash them that look at me, aren’t I perfect? Smile, and you try not to gag.

“You’re not my boss.” You hiss through your teeth, smiling at the people shouting your name.

Steve makes a low, rough sound in his throat. “I am your boss.”

“No. I work under Nat.”

“Who works for me-“

“Does she?”

Steve shoots you another look, and this time you giggle. He’s still smiling, through every single glare. It looks psychotic.

He doesn’t even try to reprimand you this time. He just sighs dramatically and looks back to the crowd. You sit up, but not because he told you to. You’re not another one of his dogs.

Because there’s one more rule about being an Avenger. About being an American.

No one hates Steve Rogers.

He’s an angel. A blessing. His pretty boy face and classy words and pure heart. He never falters, never gives up, never does anything selfish, never gets off his fucking high horse. He’s so handsome it hurts to look at, and he’s so innocent about it, like blushing virgin schoolgirl who can’t stand seeing a fucking ankle without getting red faced and sputtering. He’s all kind words to everyone, he carries twenties on him to give to homeless people, he donates most of his Avengers salary to charities, he handles every press question with tact and charm, and he looks at you like you’re sulfur coated gum, stuck to the bottom of his shoe.

No one tells you what to do when Steve Rogers hates you. He’s not supposed to hate anyone.

So you must be the fucking problem.

You try not to look at him, for most of the panel. It’s easy when he gets seated on the other end of the table, but whatever fucker was in charge of seating today must hate you. You can’t turn your head without seeing his lazy, kind smile, and you can’t turn out his deep laugh, and god, what if you just punched him in the face on live TV-

Someone says your name, and your head snaps over.

“Yeah?”

Steve tenses. You’re supposed to just nod, or say yes, not yeah. That’s not professional. Shame for him the media trainers gave up on you years ago. You don’t know why Steve still bothers. Everyone still loves you anyway.

And the person who said your name doesn’t deserve professionalism anyway. It’s a slimy man at the front of the question line, with slicked back hair and an expensive watch and teeth that look too big for his mouth. You know what kind of question this is going to be, before he even opens his mouth.

“Hi,” the man smirks at you, and you smile back. It’s the cold, bored smile that you wear like a shield. If the man feels the chill from it, he doesn’t even flinch.

“Hey.”

Steve’s jaw ticks. If he breaks a tooth, maybe you won’t have to deal with this question.

“Hey.” The man echoes back, his gaze dropping back to your tits. “I have to ask, what does it take to get you out of the Avengers compound and out on a date?”

You laugh, spinning your mic and leaning back in your chair. The audience laughs with you. They always do.

Steve doesn’t, and it stabs near your ribs for some useless reason. Sometimes you wonder if your powers just don’t work on him, which would make him even more annoying than he already is. 

“More than that,” you say, and the man stands a little taller.

“You wanna give me a step-by-step?” He winks. “I’m a good rule follower.”

“Hm.” You smirk. “I’m sure you are.”

A chorus of teasing jeers comes from the back of the crowd, where all the men always get shoved. They’re less insistent than the fangirls who want to see Steve and Thor’s muscles. The man at the front of the line looks back with a proud grin—he got you to talk, what a miracle—then returns his gaze to you.

“What about if I promise to be a gentleman?”

“Then I’d ask you to cross your fingers,” you say, smiling with so much honey you’re worried your face is going to get glued like this.

The oooooos are louder this time, and you laugh. The man at the front looks like he’s about to fall to his knees. He grabs at the mic stand like a lifeline, staring at you with wide, devout eyes, and you don’t even flinch when Steve rips your mic from your hands.

“She’ll be backstage after, buddy.” His tone is light, but firm. The man blinks at him, like he forgot he was there. “Remember, she’s got a whole panel to get through. Don’t want to distract her too early.”

He laughs. Everyone laughs with him, except for you.

You smile at him with enough venom to burn the super solider serum right out of his big, muscled body. Steve smiles back, with that strange gleam back in his eyes.

It’s only there for you. It’s been two years, and you never learned to read it. The questions move on, and your mic gets turned of while Bruce talks about his favorite kinds of tea. You lean to the side, hissing from the corner of your mouth.

“What the fuck is your problem.”

Steve doesn’t blink. He keeps his winning smile on his face, and you’re sure that to anyone looking on from the crowd, it seems like you’re exchanging friendly jokes.

“This isn’t a dating app.”

“I know that-“

“Didn’t seem like it.”

You scoff. Your smile is starting to hurt your face. “What was I supposed to do, tell him to piss off?”

Steve’s lips twitch down, ever so slightly. “You flirted back.”

“So? I was never going to go out with him, he looked like a fucking sewer rat.”

“That’s rude-“

“Oh, suck my dick.”

You look back to the crowd. Steve mutters your name, and you ignore him. He says it again, firmer this time, and you shoot him a shut the fuck up look.

His nostrils flare. His eyes are so blue, you think you could get lost in them if he wasn’t always trying to forcefully burn you out.

“You-“ He lets out a heavy breath through his nose, shakes his head, and look back out to the crowd. “You’re going to find yourself with a stalker one day. It happened to Nat.”

You almost snort. You’ve heard that story. Nat curb stomped him. “I’m sure I’d handle it.”

Steve’s lip curls. “You have no combat training,” he grunts, and you huff.

Not this again.

“If someone got the jump on you-“

“No one gets the jump on me.”

“Yet,” he gives you a pointed look, and you hold it, unimpressed and bored. “But one day-“

“One day what? I’m just going to lose all my powers? And need Captain America to protect me?” You laugh crudely, and Steve scowls.

 “I didn’t say that-“

“Then what were you going to say-“’

“That you need to be careful-“

“And why do you care-“

“I don’t-“

“Really?” You roll your eyes. “Could’ve fooled me.”

“You- You fucking-“

“Steve.” Sam leans over Steve’s shoulder, glaring between you. “People. Watching. Calm down.”

You and Steve both freeze, and glance out to the crowd. Sure enough, almost all the eyes are on you. Shining vultures. For one, at least, picking Steve apart with you.

You smile and wave. Steve sits so tall you think he might be trying to fly away.

“What were you talking about?” The next person asks, and Steve laughs.

Controlled. Always so fucking controlled.

“Nothing important-“

“It looked important.”

Steve shrugs. “We take everything we do here seriously. A conversation about dinner can look like a war meeting sometimes, with how much passion we have for- Everything.”

He waves at the air, and the crowd murmurs. You smirk, because Steve sees the light in that ripple. Only the rising relief. Not the dents it’s leaving in the water.

But you see them. You see them better than anyone. And you know why the people drop it. Tony’s glaring down the table, and Nat is rubbing her face, and you know they heard it too.

You love it when he fucks up. You’re beaming for the rest of the panel, because you know what the headline is going to be in the morning.

Passion, he said.

Idiot.

It happens so fast, and Steve’s the only one surprised by it.

“You two.” Tony points between you in the morning. “My office. Now.”

You smile, shoving your bagel in your mouth and following after him. Steve looks confused. You’re sure he’s never been called to an office before. You’re thrilled to have that first experience with him.

“Tony, what’s going on-“

“No.” Tony points at him with a scowl, and the door locks behind you. “Not a word from you, Cap. This is your fault.”

“My fault?” Steve almost recoils. “How is it my fault, I haven’t even done anything. It’s probably her fault-“

You snort, taking the bagel out of your mouth. “My fault? You don’t even know what we did yet!”

“Well, I know it’s your fault-“

“Because everything is my fault-“

“For stuff like this, yeah. It is.”

“Stuff like this- Like what, you getting in trouble-“

“I’m not in trouble-“

“Oh, you just got called to Daddy’s office because of your good behavior-“

“Can you both shut up?” Tony raises his voice, glaring between you with his nose pinched. “I swear, you’re going to give me a migraine that kills me. And you,” he shoots you a glower. “Never call me Daddy again.”

You smirk. “Why, does it turn you on too much?”

Steve looks at you like he wants to kill you. Tony just looks bored.

“Yeah, it does. Which is annoying.”

“Aw,” you beam at Steve. “He thinks I’m annoying.”

A vein is pushing out of Steve’s brow. If anyone is going to die right now, it’s going to be him, from bursting a vessel. You giggle, dropping in the seat in front of Tony’s desk. Steve just stands behind you, a soldier at attention against his greatest enemy. You tip your head backwards, looking at him under fluttering lashes.

“You should sit down, buddy.”

Something flickers over Steve’s face. “Don’t call me buddy.”

“Don’t stand there like a creep.”

His lip curls. You give him a challenging smile, and he lets out one of those heavy sighs that’s only reserved for you. He stomps over to the chair next to it, and drops down with a scowl at Tony.

“You want to tell us why we’re here, Tony?”

Tony frowns, and glances at you. “Does he not know?”

You shrug. “He’s a little stupid. You know that.”

Tony’s lips twitch despite himself. Steve scowls.

“I don’t know what you two are talking about, or- Planning-“

He cuts himself off, as Tony tosses the printed out article down on the desk. You hadn’t actually seen it yet, but you knew it was coming.  

From the look on Steve’s face, though, he really hadn’t realized at all.

“What.” It’s all he says. One clipped, dumbfounded word as he stares at the paper. You sort of want to laugh, but you bite it down. Tony’s looking at you like this is serious. Like he can’t make it go away with a wave of his hand.

Stever grabs the article. You lean over his shoulder, just to piss him off a little more. He doesn’t even bother to glare at you, his fingers digging so deep into the paper it tears. The headline gets crumpled, like he’s crushing it with just his gaze.

Secret Love In the Avengers.

It’s not very snappy. You think they could’ve tried harder, but at least the picture is good. You and Steve both look nice, and you’re staring at each other so intently you can’t even blame them for the minimum effort. With Sam looking bored on Steve’s other side, and you and Steve leaning so close together, there’s no mistaking in that photo who might be seconds from making out.

“Tony,” Steve mutters. “What’s this.”

Tony snorts. “What do you think this is, Cap? A news article about trades with China? No, because less people would be reading that than they’re reading this.”

“We’re hotter than trades with China,” you offer, and you think Tony would laugh if he wasn’t so pissed.

“Why is there a picture of us.” Steve mutters, and Tony rolls his eyes.

“Well, when two people look at each other like they want to fuck, everyone tends to notice.”

Steve’s jaw locks. You sigh, crossing your arms over your chest.

“So what, do you need us to do another release-“

“No.” Tony glares at you. “This is the third time something like this has happened with you two-“

“What?” You snort. “No, it isn’t-“

“Ah.” Tony raises a hand. “Don’t play stupid with me. I’m trying to be generous with third, and I’m not in the mood to hold your hands through feelings right now.”

“Feelings?” Steve spits, fumbling with the paper. “There are no- I don’t know what you think you’re talking about, Stark-“

“Steven.” Tony says flatly. “You. Shut up.”

Steve shakes his head. “You don’t know what you’re talking about-“

“Yes. I do. And you do too.”

You raise your hand, frowning between them. “Can I ask what the first and second time were, because I’d remember if this happened before-“

“No, you wouldn’t,” Tony snaps. “Because I have spent millions bribing people out of running these stories, and you never look online to see what people are saying.”

“What people are saying?” You look at Steve. “What are people saying?”

Steve coughs, ears turning red. “Nothing-“

“They think you’re fucking.” Tony says flatly, and your mouth falls open.

“They- What?!”

“You have chemistry, kid.” Tony shrugs. “Every second you’re next to each other, you’re eye fucking so much we all feel like we’re supposed to leave the room.”

You sputter, shaking your head. You can feel you flush, burning up your face. When you look at Steve, he won’t meet your eyes.

He never does.

“Did you know about this?” You hiss.

He sighs, running a hand over his face with a half-shrug. “Maybe.”

“Maybe?! What the fuck does that mean-“

“Means he knew.” Tony says flatly. “Everyone knew.”

“Everyone knew what?! That the whole country thinks I want to fuck Steve?!”

Tony snorts. “You do want to fuck Steve.”

Your face burns. Steve looks up with warning pinch in his brow. “Tony.”

“Don’t Tony me, pretty boy-“

“Just- Not now-“

“Yes, now.” Tony glares between you. “This has gotten out of hand. We get it. You’re both hot. You’d have hot sex. But if you don’t either fuck or cut bait and start acting like adults, you’re grounded.”

Steve scowls. “You can’t ground me, Stark, I’m your boss-“

“Well, I cut the checks.” Tony crosses his arms. “So I think I can do whatever I want.”

Steve and Tony keep glaring at each other. You stare off in the middle distance between them. Your hands don’t feel like they’re your hands. Your feet are planted on the carpet, but not on solid ground. Your head feels like it’s pressing into itself, yet also expanding to something bigger than you can hold onto.

You don’t want to fuck Steve. Sure, he’s all muscles and rugged yet soft features, but there are countless men like that.

There are very few men like that. Well, you could find one. You have one in front of you. But you don’t want to fuck him. He’s annoying. Impossibly annoying and bossy and always up your ass about something, and not in the fun way like you’d prefer-

No. You wouldn’t prefer. You don’t want to fuck Steve. You can have anyone else, you’d rather have anyone else. Steve’s just always there and always making you embarrassed and angry, and maybe you’re into that but it’s none of his business. It’s not like he’d be like that in bed, either way.

You think. Not that you’ve thought about it. He’s too perfect. Too boring. He’s not boring when he’s arguing with you. He just hates you that much. That you make him break. Or you let him show that side of himself. You don’t poke and prod at anyone like you poke and prod at Steve. He’s just fun to get a rise out of. He gets cute when he’s pissy. He sneers your name and it goes right between your legs, but that doesn’t mean you want to fuck him.

You don’t. You don’t. You don’t?  

He has big hands, but you don’t want them groping and squeezing all over your body. He’s got a strong nose, but you’ve never thought about it pushing against your clit, just like you’ve never thought about his huge biceps wrapping around your neck while he fingers you stupid. And you’d smile at him, dazed and long fucked out of protesting. And he’d feed those fingers to you while sitting you on his cock, and all that perfection would melt away into something raw. Something real, that’s open and refuses to be stitched close. Something that both of you want to drown in.

Something’s that’s just for you, and Steve, and no one else.

Oh, no.

You want to fuck him.

Tony says your name, and your gaze snaps back over. Your palms are sweating, your face burning, your skin suddenly itchy and your feet restless. You want to fuck Steve. You want to fuck Steve.

He looks at you weird, and you shift in your seat. He can’t know. Ever. This is going to get cleaned up, and Steve will never know that you might, kind of, really want him to just toss you over his shoulder and fuck you stupid. You glance at him from the corner of you eye, and his gaze sears into you. You have to look away.

There’s no way he can know. You’ve barely even known for a minute.  Tony only says he knows because he’s an ass. This will pass. It has to pass.

“Figure it out.” Tony tells you, before walking out of the office.

And you will. By never being in the same room as Steve again.

You shoot to your feet, and almost sprint out of the room. Steve calls your name, but you don’t look back. He’s faster, but he’s also respectful. He won’t manhandle you and force you to listen, like you want him to.

God, you really want him to. You’re going to kill Tony for making you realize that, then kill yourself, and no one will ever have to know that—for all your cool, bored smiles and teasing and flirting, for all your powers and siren-like smile—you just want to be fucked stupid by the most righteous, innocent sex-symbol in America.

But then Steve shouts your name again. He’s following you. Why is he following you.

“Fuck off, Steve!” You shout over your shoulder, and he scoffs.

“No, you heard Tony, we need to talk-“

“We really don’t-“

“Yes, we do- Will you slow down-“

You pick up the pace, just to piss him off. Steve groans, and you hear boots hitting the ground behind you. He’s giving chase, and you can barely outwalk him.

Steve grabs your arm before you can even break into a sprint. You thrash, but it’s useless. He’s too strong, and that’s so hot, and you’re going to throw yourself off a bridge about this.

“Let go-“

“No.” Steve drags you down the hall, into an empty conference room. “Not until we talk.”

“There’s nothing for us to talk about-“

“Will you just stop being such a fucking brat and listen?”

Steve raises his voice, stern and commanding. It’s deep, so deep it echoes through you, and your knees wobble. He sees it. His jaw ticks, his grip slackens, and you rip your hand away.

“Brat.” You mock. “What would America think, if they saw their Golden sun talking to a girl like that?”

Steve’s lips twitch. “You are not a girl.”

“Aw. I’m a woman-“

“You’re a problem.” He leans over you, voice dropping to a hiss.

And this is how he always looks at you, but magnified. With a sharper gleam in his eyes, his lips thin and white, like he’s trying to swallow every word. A vein in his brow ticks, and you smile.

“I’m a problem?”

Steve’s throat bobs. “Yes.”

“Hurtful,” you whisper, and he rolls his eyes.

“You’ll live.”

For a long moment, you just stare at each other. He wants to talk, he can talk. You’re not entertaining this. Not just for him to unravel you then keep being a fucking dick.

“You…” He shakes his head, a tiny motion as his tongue flicks over his lips. “You are impossible.”

“You’re impossible-“

“Because you make me impossible,” he sneers, and you lean back slightly.

“I- You-“ You try to scoff. It’s a weak sound. He’s too close, and he smells like pine trees and something spicy, and it’s not fair. “I don’t even do anything-“

“Yes. You do.”

“What, is my skirt too short? Are my shoulders distracting you-“

“You’re distracting me.” Steve presses forward, until your faces are only inches apart. “You always distract me, you fuckin’-“ He closes his eyes, shoulders heaving.

“Steve…” You breathe, and he chuckles.

“Don’t say my name like that,” he rasps. “You don’t fuckin’ mean it.”

You blink, trying to think over the desire, burning in your body. Of course you meant it. You didn’t even want to say it, but he’s so close. It’s intoxicating. You’d think he was drugging you, if that was possible.

Steve’s pressed you against the conference table. His arms are caging you in, giving you no escape from the electricity, almost crackling in the air. You open your mouth, then close it, lost for what to say. You’re worried you’ll just whisper his name again. He drags his eyes open after what feels like a million years, his voice dropping down to something hot and dangerous.

“You never push anyone,” he says. “Like you push me, doll. It’s not… It drives me crazy.”

You swallow, your voice smaller than you want. “You- You push me-“

“Because I can’t help it.” He presses closer. Your noses are almost bumping. “You are beautiful, and insolent, and infuriating-“

“Steve-“

“And you’re so sweet to everyone.” He grabs your jaw, and your hand flies to his wrist. “Everyone loves you, so they think I’m crazy when I say you’re tryin’ to kill me.”

“Everyone loves me because of my powers.” You try to remind him, because if he does this, you won’t be able to stop him. “You- You know that-“

“I do. Trust me,” he murmurs your name, gaze flicking to your lips. “I know. Spent so long blaming them too. All those daydreams had to be because you’re Nat’s honeypot. Thought it was the wrong thing to do, that I was some kind of monster to thinking about you like that, when everyone else already does. But no,” he looks back to you. “It’s just you, doll. I plugged my nose, avoided your pheromones, let Bruce experiment on me to make me immune, did fuckin’ everything, and I still wanted you.”

You take a deep, ragged breath. You have to lick your lips, to stop the spit, and Steve tracks the motion like a predator.

No one wants you. Everyone loves you, but no one wants you. You’re pretty but untouchable. No one can hurt you. If you ask someone for something, they’ll always do it, whether they really want to or not.

But Steve…

He says he wants you. And you really want to believe him.

“How long.” You breathe, and he sighs, bowing his head.

“Since the second I saw you.”

“You…” You scan over his face, looking for any hint that it’s not really him. That he doesn’t really, fully mean it. “You want to fuck me?”

His ears turn red. “I mean- Not just that-“

“But you do,” you breathe, and he sighs.

Stares for a second longer, then nods.

“Okay.” You whisper. Steve looks to your lips, then back to you again.

“Okay?”

 You nod. Steve’s grip on your jaw tightens, and your breath hitches. He leans down slowly. So torturously slowly.

Your lips meet, soft and chapped and nervous. You lean up, and he presses down. Your noses bump, and his tongue flicks over your lower lip. Your nails dig into his bicep, and he grunts, and-

Steve snaps.

His other hand flies to your face, and he presses over you, hot and demanding. Your breath hitches, you mouth falls open, and he shoves his tongue down your throat with a groan. You grab the collar of his shirt, yanking him so hard you both stumble back. Your knees hit the back of the table, but Steve’s fast. He ducks down without breaking the kiss, and scoops you up into his arms.

You squeal, but the sound is quickly muffled by Steve’s tongue down your throat. Your laugh is breathless and giddy. He chuckles, pushing further forward, and you pull at the collar of his shirt. He jerks forward, angling his head to deepen the kiss.

“Needy.” He mutters against your lips, and you shove his shoulder with weak hands.

“Shut up, I could still stop this-“

“But you won’t.” He taunts. “You like it, don’t you. Like gettin’ on my nerves, making me lose control.”

Steve pulls away, grabs your knees, shoving them apart with rough, firm hands. You gasp, grabbing at his neck. “Steve-“

“You’re wet under there.” He growls, running a big hand up your inner thigh. “I can smell it. Smell how much you want me, every damn time you’d mouth off.”

Your swallow, pressing your brows tight together. You watch him rub your legs, breathing through your nose like some wanton whore. Steve’s thumb grazes the place where you’re leg meets your core, and your whole body shivers.

He smirks, looking at you under pretty lashes. You try to glare, but you’re panting. His gaze just makes the fire in your core burn brighter, and your tongue flicks over your lips.

“You never said anything,” you whisper, and Steve gives you an amused look.

“You would’ve killed me.”

And you can laugh breathlessly. Ten minutes ago, you would’ve. But now he’s all over you, and you can’t even bring yourself to mock him.

“No,” you brush your lips over his. “I wouldn’t have.”

Steve works his jaw, that raw, strange look flashing over his face. The look that’s yours. That’s only ever been for you.

He leans in, and this kiss is softer than before. Steve massages your hips, settling himself between your legs. You spread them wide to accommodate him, and feel it poking against your thigh. His cock, thick and hard, somehow bigger than you imagined, and you hadn’t  been thinking small.

“You feel that.” He pulls your upper lip between his teeth, smiling slightly. “’S what you always do to me. Every day, I’d be walkin’ around so hard I was worried you’d see it. But no.” His kisses one corner of your mouth, then the other. “You’re oblivious, aren’t you honey.”

You hum, tipping your head back. Steve groans, dragging his lips over a pulse point, letting his tongue flick against sensitive skin. One hand slips under your shirt, careful fingers tracing up the line of your spine.

“Steve…” You whisper. “Don’t tease.”

“Oh, but you like it too much when I do.” He rasps. “You love it, love being a sweet little toy for me.”

You whimper, and he reaches around, grabbing a handful of your ass.

“So bossy ‘till I’m touchin’ you,” he sucks on your neck, grinding his bugle into your core. You gasp as the rough friction, and Steve chuckles.

“You- You’re such an ass-“

“You like that too.” He grunts, breath hot in your ear. “You like bein’ the one person that gets me going, that makes me lose it. No one else, doll.” He pushes your ass forward, so your clit is pushed against the thick hardness of him.

A long moan escapes your lips, and you drop your face into his shoulder. Steve grunts, rutting forward, and it’s so fucking hot you can’t think past it. The drawl of his voice in your ear, the strength of him around you, it’s intoxicating. The clothing adding extra friction, his fingers digging into your skin. His hand slips into your pants, deft fingers dragging down your ass to tease right against the drip of your pussy.

“Just you,” he thrusts forward, squeezing your ass. “Only you. So fuckin’ pretty and sassy, drivin’ me insane-“

You whimper, and Steve makes a low sound, taking a deep breath against your hair. The table creaks, with the force of his every thrust.

“So rude of you, sweetheart, to make me try and keep it together when you’re running around, beggin’ to be fucked- God-“

Steve moans, jerking his hips back suddenly. You stare at each other, panting and flushed. He swallows, and there’s a stain blooming on his pants. Your mouth falls open, and normally you’d make fun of him, but fuck. There’s so much of it. You can see white, leaking out of the cuffs of his pants and onto the floor. He came just from that. Just from holding and kissing you.

And he’s still so hard.

You lick your lips, and look back up. Steve’s throat bobs. You smile, fumbling with your pants, and he blinks.

“You’re- Uh-“

“In me.” You point at his dick, about to burst the seam of his slacks, then your core. “You- Do that in me.”

Steve’s hands curl into fists. You’ve never seen his face so red. It’s almost adorable. “Uh- Are you sure-“

“Do you want to fuck me stupid or not?”

He leans back, startled. You hold his gaze, pull down your pants, hike your legs up on the table, and spread them wide.

You could swear you see it twitch, as he takes you in. Head thrown back, your fingers rubbing between the swollen, dripping lips of your cunt. You breathe out his name, dipping one finger into your heat and pumping slowly. Steve takes a rough step forward, grabbing your knees like handles.

“Stop,” he grunts, and you obey.

Steve runs his fingers down your bare thigh, slowly guiding your hand away from your pussy. You grab his shoulder, holding his gaze as he rubs his thumb around your clit. You let out a slow, relaxed breath, and Steve smirks.

“You like that, doll?”

“As much as you did,” you breathe out, and Steve chuckles.

“Ah. Too late for that.” He presses a mocking kiss to your open lips. “You showed me what you want. How bad you want it.”

Steve flicks your clit, and your back arches. He presses back down on the little button, and a long moan rips from your lips.

“I came in my fuckin’ pants,” he whispers in your ear. “And you’re still beggin’ me to fuck you.”

“Wasn’t- Wasn’t begging-“

“But you would,” he coos. “If I asked you to. You’d say please, Stevie and cry for me to stuff this pretty little pussy.” He pushes down on your clit, and you whimper. “Like the good little slut you are.”

God, the hold he has on you should be crime. You choke out his name pathetically, and Steve starts to rub you in thick, unrelenting circles. His free arm wraps around your lower back, holding you in place when his fingers dip down, and start to explore the folds of you pussy.

“So wet,” he mutters, pushing one finger deep into your cunt. You clench around him, and a squelching sound fills the room as he pumps slowly. “Wet and tight.” Steve looks up at you with a smirk. “You think you’re gonna be able to take my cock, doll? Christ, you’re barely taking my finger.”

He pushes in a second one, just to prove his point, and your mouth falls open. He’s right. The burn of his two fingers, it feels like he’s stretching you open with a fist. He slides them in deeper and deeper, his thumb working your clit, and your nails sink into his neck.

“St- Steve,” you gape between your bodies, watching him disappear inside of you. “Steve-“

“Hm?” He gets up to the knuckle, and looks up at you with a smirk.

You try to take a second to catch your breath, and he scissors his fingers, twisting his wrist so it hits a gummy spot inside of you. You cry out, and he silences you with a deep, messy kiss.

“Feel it,” he mutters against your lips, pulling his fingers almost all the way out. “No talkin’ for once, doll. All you gotta do is feel it.”

He slams his fingers back in. You whimper, but nod. Steve hums in approval, and the sound shoots straight between your legs. You squeeze and gush around him, and he groans. You barely get a second to compose yourself before he starts to thrust his fingers, deep and hard, and you start to unravel.

Steve’s strong. This is him holding back, and he’s still so strong. You scramble to get a real, firm hold on something, because he’s pummeling your pussy into a drenched, slack oblivion. The pace is brutal, knuckles dragging right over your g-spot over and over, splitting you open in a way that makes you drool.

He makes his mouth busy, trailing kisses back down your throat, then over your shoulders. You moan, leaning your head against his, and he smiles against your skin. Steve draws back to meet your gaze, and through the daze of the pleasure he’s dragging out of you, you smile back.

Your body is rocking, from the brutality of how he’s touching you. Steve’s eyes flick down, but not to where his fingers are being swallowed by your pussy.

He’s looking at your tits.

He licks his lips, watching them bounce under his force. You think he might be hypnotized. Before you can say anything, he reaches up and rips your shirt clean off.

“Steve- Ooh-“

“Shhh.” He gives you a stern look, twisting his fingers in your cunt. “I’ve got you, doll. Just- Lemme-“

Steve looks back to your tits, and his eyes are almost black with desire. You’ve never seen anything hotter, than how he looks at you as he lowers himself down.

He mouths at the curve of your tits, sucking a tiny, dark bruise. You moan, starching at his bicep, but he just drags you closer. Forcing your back to arch, your tits to push into his face.

“Look at you,” he mutters, voice dripping with something close to reverence. “My girl.”

And you blink. Because that wasn’t discussed, but your pussy clenches all the same. His girl.

You don’t get more time to think about it before Steve’s lips wrap around your nipple, and you lose control.

He mouths at you like a starved man. Kissing and licking and sucking, sending tingling, electric sensations straight from your tits to your pussy. He moans every time you squeeze down on his fingers, which just feels like a vibrator right against your sensitive nipples, and makes you lose it all the more.

You’re grinding up into him, thrashing a little like an animal and whimpering in his ear. Steve bites down softly, his thumb staring to make quick, relentless swipes at your clit.

“Oh- Oh fuck-“ You moan, tugging at his short, soft hair. “St- Steve- Too much- I’m gonna- Fuuuck-“

You don’t know why you thought he was going to slow down. Steve switches nipples, biting down before sucking hard, right as his blunt fingertips hit that spot inside of you. You cry out as you cum, your body writhing against his stronger one. He keeps you in place, his hand working you through the orgasm. Pulling every last spasm of your cunt, and a few more after. He kisses your nipples and over your breasts before he draws up.

When it’s done, your eyes are lidded. Steve stares at you, slowly pulling his hand out. He smears your juices over your pussy, thumbing at your clit for a few more, light seconds. You squeak, and he smiles.

“You look pretty when you cum,” he mutters, and you flush.

You’ve been told that before, but this feels different.

This feels real.

You can’t think of anything to say. Steve doesn’t push you to try. He leans forward, cupping your cheek and giving you a smaller, softer look before he kisses you. You melt into him, too dazed from what might be strongest orgasm of your life to protest.

“’m gonna fuck you ‘till you can’t walk.” Steve mutters. “But- Not here.”

You hum in agreement. “Clean up later?”

“Later.” Steve grunts in agreement. “If I don’t get inside of you, think I’m gonna die.”

You giggle. It’s so stupid, but you giggle. Steve huffs out a low laugh, and drags your forward. You’re being carried like a koala in his arms. He kisses your cheek before drawing up to his whole height, and glancing at the door.

“I, uh-“ He gives you a sheepish expression. “I’m gonna have to run.”

You nod—you’re naked, you expected as much—and he clears his throat.

“You gotta hold on.”

“I am holding on.” You pat his neck, and he sighs.

“Doll, I’m gonna be running really fast-“

“I’m holding on tight.”

“Hold on tighter.”

You roll your eyes, and wrap him in the best chokehold you can manage. The asshole doesn’t even pretend to grunt.

“Your boobs are in my face.” He mumbles, and you snort.

“You were eating them like, five seconds ago-“

“Yeah, but- That was just us. What if someone sees-“

“That you’re carrying me naked? Probably that we’re fucking.”

He twists his neck to glare up at you. You smile innocently back, and he sighs.

His breath is warm, over your breasts. It makes you squirm a little, and Steve’s grip on your body tightens.

“You are such a brat,” he mutters, almost in awe. “I stop fucking you for ten seconds, and you’re already talking back again.”

“Oops.” You beam. “You should fix that.”

Steve chuckles. His tongue flicks over his lips. “Yeah,” his voice is dark. A promise. “Trust me. I’m gonna.”

And he runs. He runs so fast you squeal, because you forgot how fast he can be when he’s really trying. You press your face back into his neck to block the wind, and when he stops, you still don’t look up.

The smell hits you first. It’s deep and rich and-

Steve.

You poke your head up, and you’re in Steve’s room.

It’s not what you expected, a military cell where he sleeps and plans way to torture you. It’s… Cozy. There are books on a shelf that slightly poorly put together, and the bed is made but the sheets look thick and soft. There’s a mirror on the dresser, facing the bed, and so much paper you almost don’t know where to look. Drawings of flowers, and rivers, and sunsets. One of a bird, and a few of the landscape of the compound, and so, so many of-

“Is that me?”

Steve grunts, tossing you down onto his bed and starting to strip. You move to your knees, ready to scramble off the bed and get a better look at the drawings, but he gives you a stern look.

“Stay.”

You roll your eyes. “Shut up, I wanna see- Steve-“

He grabs you like you weigh nothing, and throws you right back onto the bed before you’re even on two feet. Your thighs press together, thrilled with the blatant manhandling. Steve notices it, and laughs.

“You like that, huh?”

“Shut up-“

“No, you liked that-“

“Maybe I did.” You stick your tongue out, and he smirks.

“You love bein’ a ragdoll, don’t you. Needy girl, you’re gonna let me do whatever I want to you-“

“You have drawings of me!” You blurt, because you really don’t need him to make you more horny.

Steve shrugs. “I do. So?”

“So?” You fumble, pulling at the sheets. “You- You like me-“

“That’s a shock to you?” Steve gives you an amused look. “I just fingered you in borderline public.”

“Well- You- You-“ You’re sputtering again. Only Steve does this to you. It drives you fucking insane. “You could’ve just wanted to fuck me-“

“Nope.” He shrugs. “I’ve been in love with you for a while. You just get on my last line sometimes, doll.”

And all your protests slip out of your head.

I love you.

He- He said-

“What?” You squeak, and Steve sighs.

“I love you.”

He said it again. “Wh- Why?”

“Why?” He gives you a tired, almost annoyed look. “Why wouldn’t I love you?”

“Because I’m annoying.” You answer immediately. “And mean, and bossy, and- I’m annoying-“

“You said that one already.” Steve starts to walk towards you, and you lean into his gravity, even as your heart beats in your ears.

“How do you know you love me.” You whisper. “It- It could just be my powers-“

“It’s not.”

“But-“

Steve takes your face between his hands, his thumb dragging over your lower lip. You fall silent, and you know you’re staring up at him like he’s the sun, but you’ve never been so warm. You’re afraid to move. To lose it.

“Steve…” You breathe, and he hums. “You- You can’t mean that-“

“I do.” He presses his thumb forward, and your lips wrap around it on instinct. You suck, and his eyes flash with more approval.

It’s embarrassing, how pliable that makes you. How he’d just need to give you one bit of praise after so much mocking, and you might just cum right here. Sucking on Steve’s thumb, naked on his bed, sheets bunched between your thighs.

“I love you because you’re smart,” he says, and useless, embarrassing tears prick at your eyes. “And funny, and kind. You never abuse what you can do to people. You work hard, you drive me crazy, you’re always ready to do anything for anyone else.”

You try to shy away. You’d been wrong. You’re not cumming, you’re getting so hot it feels like a fever, because having him degrade you is less embarrassing than this. Steve’s grip on you face tightens. He’s not letting you get away that easy.

“You’re gorgeous,” he murmurs. “And it’s got nothin’ to do with any powers. So I love you, doll. And you’re gonna feel it.”

There’s nothing you can say to that. Tears are pricking at your eyes, hopeless and confused and desperate. You need to see what that feels like. Steve’s love, painted all over you.

“You want that?” He mutters, and you nod. “Words-“

“Please,” you breathe out, the words muffled around his thumb. “Show me.”

Steve smiles. He pulls his thumb away with a pop, and taps your check gently.

“See?” He smirks. “Begging.”

Your eyes narrow, but Steve doesn’t let you spit out a response. He crashes down into a harsh, long kiss that makes your toes curl and thighs rub together. Steve gropes all over your body, pushing you down into the mattress before rolling over and forcing you to straddle his chest.

He’s naked. You don’t know how you missed it—probably the love confession—but the thick, hard curve of his cock slaps against your ass, and his bare chest flexes when you drag your nails over his pecs.

“You’re gonna ride my cock, doll,” he rubs your ass, smiling up at you. “Don’t need you to say anything back. Just show me,” he squeezes your ass. “How fuckin’ bad you need it.”

You look back at it, and your breath hitches. It’s huge. Bigger than any you’ve ever taken, bigger than any you’ve ever seen, even in porn.

“Did you take fucking drugs for that thing?” You breathe, and Steve snorts.

“Yes?”

You glare at him, and he raises his brows.

“You getting on, or not?” 

For a second, you think about being petulant. You cross your arms and pout, trying to test how far you can push him. But Steve just snorts, rolls his eyes, and picks you up. You don’t even get to wiggle before he’s forcing you down on his dick, and the air is knocked from your lungs.

Steve sits so deep in your, it might be pushing all the thoughts out of your brain. You gape down at him, making weak noises as your pussy pulses and stretches around him. His fingers dig into your hips, but it’s the only sign that he’s struggling to hold himself back.

“Much as I love you bein’ a brat,” he mutters, massaging your ass. “I’d rather see this.”

He reaches up slowly, tucking air behind your ear. You smile weakly, and he chuckles, settling fully into the pillows.

“Ride it, doll,” he orders, and god help you, you try.

You catch your breath after a long moment that feels like eternity, and start to roll your hips. Steve groans, eyelids fluttering, but doesn’t help you. His hands stay firm on your body, forcing you to use everything you have to grind down onto his dick.

He pushes against that gooey spot inside of you, and you falter with a long moan. You shift, forcing him right against it, and he lets out a sharp breath, but still doesn’t move.

“Feels good, doesn’t it,” he coos, cock throbbing inside of it. “Nice and big, fillin’ up your pussy so good.”

You moan, hips bucking. Steve grunts, thrusting up slightly, and you tip your head back. The friction is good. So good. For a second, back arched and thighs aching, you find a rhythm. It starts slow, rolling and pushing Steve’s cock right where you want it. You look down at him, sweaty and adoring beneath you. His hands wander, his breathing ragged and lips parted.

“That’s a good girl,” he mutters. “C’mon, baby, there you go.”

You keen, and move faster. Your knees are weak, but the need is stronger. You bounce on Steve dick, grabbing at his chest and gasping for air as he splits you open over and over again.

But it’s not enough. You don’t have extra stamina or strength, and he’s so big, and you’re so turned on your body is starting to forget how to move. Every wet, obscene sound makes you glance at where he’s disappearing inside of you, the way your slick is coating his cock when you pull up and his balls are heavy, pushed against your ass when you drop back down. You get hornier, and you want to just let go and allow your eyes to cross and toes to curl, but you can’t. You can’t find the pace.

You can’t cum. You can’t, and pathetic, fat tears stream down your cheeks because of it.

Steve reaches up, brushing them away with a tiny smirk. “Aw, babydoll. Don’t cry.”

You sob, shaking above him as your legs finally get to weak. You’re just squirming above him now, blinking under wet lashes at his teasing, lazy smile.

“Can’t get there all alone, can you,” he pushes you down, slamming his hips up, and you make a choked sound like his name. “Yeah, that’s right. Sweet girl, just a fuckin’ mess on my cock.”

“Ple- Please-“ You blubber, collapsing over Steve’s chest. “God, Steve- Please-“

“Aw. Begging so pretty.” He kisses your brow. “How could I ever tell you no?”

Steve grabs you off his cock, twisting you onto your stomach as he sits up. You’re shoved down into the mattress, your cheek pressed into the cushions by one of Steve’s hands on the back of your neck. The other stays on your hips, dragging your ass high up in the air to present to him.

“Such a mess.” Steve runs the head of his cock between the lips of you pussy, letting it press against your clit before he lines it up at your entrance. “You really needed this, didn’t you?”

He slides in slowly, and your eyes rolls back in your head. He’s impossibly deeper at this angle. You try to press your face into the mattress, to muffle your pathetic sounds, but Steve folds his body over yours, fisting a hand in your hair and yanking it back as he bottoms out.

“Look.” He bites your ear, dragging back before slamming forward, drilling his cock back into your abused, over sensitive pussy. “Look at us, babydoll. Fit so fuckin’ perfect.”

Your eyes dart up, and oh. Oh god.

It’s the most pornographic thing you’ve ever seen. Steve wrapped around you, his jaw tight and one hand resting on your hip. You can’t see where he’s fucking you, but you can see how his muscles flex with each thrust. You’re trapped under him, your gaze locked onto his black, fervorish one. There’s no blue left in his eyes, as he hits a pace like an animal. Only hunger and adoration.

“St- Steve-“

“That’s it,” he rasps. “That’s right, say my fuckin’ name- Scream it-“

“Steve!” You cry out, the tears streaming down your face as it becomes far too much. “Oh- Ooooh-“

 Steve lets go of your hair, wrapping his massive bicep around your neck. It keeps your head up, keeps your eyes on his. He kisses the side of your head, and you can feel arousal sliding down your thighs as he rolls his hips.

“So pretty,” he whispers. “Look at yourself. Look how fuckin’ perfect you are.”

Your eyes dart over, and an unbearable warmth prickles over your skin. You look more beautiful than you’ve ever felt in your life. Thoroughly wrecked, worshipped, fucked into a drooling mess with swollen lips and glazed eyes. Steve noses at you, smirking against your skin.

“Good, good girl.” His words are thick, his thrusts becoming erratic. “Feels nice, doesn’t it?”

You whimper an agreement, and Steve chuckles.

“You gonna cum for me? C’mon, show me how nice it feels, cum on my fucking cock-“ 

It’s like he has more control over your body than you do. The orgasm rips through you at his command, and you sob out his name as you fall apart in his arms. Steve grunts, pulling fully out for half a second to roll you on your back. You barely even feel the loss before he’s burying himself right to the hilt, and you can’t remember what being empty feels like.

There’s more than there looked to be. Steve pulls almost all the way out, to try and make more space, but it does next to nothing. Thick ropes of cum fill you up until you can almost taste it. There are wet, messy sounds as it starts to leak out, over your ass and thighs. You can see it in the mirror, dripping down onto the mattress. You’re stuffed up so well, you try to say Steve’s name, but it just comes out a pathetic moan.

He collapses over you with a grunt, and all the edge vanishes. He pulls fully out, cradling you in his arms and kissing over your neck.

“I made a mess.” He mutters, running light fingers over your inner thigh.

You giggle, kicking him away, and he smiles against your skin.

“You gonna talk to me?”

You shake your head, licking your lips. Your voice is gone, from screaming, and you can see him wince when he realizes it.

“I didn’t hurt you-“

You shake your head quickly, and his shoulders relax.

“Okay. Good. I- I’m gonna-“

He tries to get up. You grab him, and yank him back down. He grunts, giving you an incredulous look.

“Honey, it’s everywhere.”

You glare at him. He’s warm. He’s not getting away from you that easy. And you expect him to argue, like he always had before, but he just… gives in.

“Okay. Five minutes.”

He leans back over you, and you lay there. Cuddling.

Like a real couple.

You could be. Steve said he loves you, and he meant it, and that opens a door you’ve never thought about before. A door you never even let yourself think about.

A door you might want to see the other side of, more than you’ve ever let yourself admit.

But now-

You want it. You wanted this, and you want that, and you’re not going to spend another second pretending you don’t.

“About what I said,” Steve mutters, like he’s reading your mind. “Before we- Or- I guess during-“

 You roll over and grab his face. He blinks adorably, and you smile.

Steve murmurs your name, and you smile.

“I love you,” you croak out.

His jaw goes slack, and your smile widens. It’s the only thing you can think to say. The only thing you want to say.

And when Steve kisses you, it’s slow. Romantic and loving and deep. He really loves you. Everyone in the world, and the perfect man loves you. He holds you like you’re the only thing in his world. You feel like you’re the only thing in his world.

And he might really be the only thing in yours.

“I’d never really had a girlfriend before, not through lack of trying though.” Steve tells you. “I wanted, more than anything, to have someone to call mine, to be mated, but I was a runt.”

“Steve!”

“I was honey, and I know that’s hard to believe now but I was. Bucky had a line of girls back then, all pining to date the beta that could have been a model, and he’d always ask for them to bring a friend. I got a couple of kisses here and there but I’m pretty sure they were out of sympathy.” He paused for a moment and sipped on the wine he’d pulled from the basket and poured for you both.

He sat on the edge of the sofa, his plaid shirt pulling across his broad shoulders. His scent soured and you reached forward and gave his shoulder a squeeze. He glanced at you and gave you a worried smile. 

“I stopped growing really early on. I was sick all the time. After Mom passed I didn’t have anyone, apart from Bucky and his family. Bucky would spend days taking care of me. His Mum and Dad got me an appointment with a fancy specialist, who said I’d probably never present. Suggested some clinical trials that might help, gave me some leaflets and sent me away.” He paused let out a sigh. “Then Bucky and I tried to join the army. He got in and I got practically laughed out the building. I applied in anyway I could, even under false names.”

“Steve! Isn’t that a criminal offence?”

“Yeah, but I was desperate to join, to make something of myself, and I thought that was the only way.”

You squeezed his shoulder again and he sat back on the sofa. You shuffled closer and he placed his arm across on the back of it to allow you nearer, and you positioned yourself at his side, trying not to curl into him too much and crowd him. 

“I had a scholarship for Art school and Bucky pushed me to go, and with him off to god knows where, I didn’t really have much else. Art school was great and I lasted nearly a year but I still kept trying to join the army. The last time I tried the Recruitment Officer recognised me, spotted I used a false name. I went to run, tripped over my feet and fell into one of the army medics. The leaflet about the clinic trial fell out my jacket pocket. I’d forgot it was even in there. Turns out the army had a trial too. They had a bunch of non-presented working in bases here and abroad. The war in Afghanistan had started and they’d found that when the non-presented had been exposed to extreme trauma they’d present suddenly, so I signed up.”

“So you signed up to basically traumatise yourself, and have them do it for you too?”

“Pretty much.” You sit in a silence for a moment, before he continues. “I was placed at a base here in the US first. I’d run errands for the senior officers, make coffee, that kind of thing. Every now and again they’d do something, jump out on me, show me photos of the injuries the guys out there were getting, they pulled me from the bed in the middle of the night, put me through torture training, all kinds of things. Then one of the senior officers was moved to another base, nearer the fight. He could pick who he wanted to take, and I was one of them. He said he liked the way I pressed his uniform and organised his paperwork. The base was international, so there’s a mix of other countries and their units, and that’s when I met her.”

“Who?”

“Peggy Carter.”

“Why does that name sound familiar?”

“She works for SHIELD now.”

Your brow furrowed and you vaguely remember a conversation whilst you were in the hospital. You’re looking out the window as Storm strokes your hair. There’s a back and forth about who will be with you when the different agencies interview you. When it’s said who’s coming from each agency Logan and Frank both bark out a growled no. The name of Carter is mentioned but that’s not who comes to see you.

“Omega.” Steve says, snapping you back to reality. “You okay? I lost you there for a second.”

“Sorry, I think she might have been someone who was meant to interview me about the docks, but I have this vague memory of Logan and Frank saying no, but I was still a bit out of it.”

Steve nods in understanding.

“Peggy can be manipulative. Frank and Logan both know that. She was probably going to try and recruit you.”

“For what?”

“For SHIELD.”

“Well she can fuck off.” You say bluntly, making Steve let out a huff of laughter. 

You sit in silence again and feel his arm move to partially wrap around your shoulders. His hand begins to move in a soothing motion and you realise he’s comforting himself in the process as his scent levels out. 

“She was my mate.” He says suddenly. You nod in understanding. “She came bursting through the door of the Colonel’s office. Being an Alpha she’d smelt me from across the base. I still hadn’t presented so I didn’t know until I saw her. The disappointed look on her face said it all and she left as quick as she came in. I pursued her for months, followed her around like a lost puppy, just wait around her office and quarters in the hope she’d speak to me.”

“Did she speak to you?”

“A couple of times but it was always to say how disappointed she was, that she was disgusted to have me as a mate.”

“I’m so sorry Steve.”

“Don’t  be. I know now she wasn’t the match for me.” He tells you, pulling you closer. 

You place your head on his shoulder and allow yourself to curl into him. 

“You don’t know for sure I’m the better option.”

“I do. For a start the pack like you, they certainly don’t like her.”

“That’s understandable if she treated you like that.”

“Some of them actually knew her before I did.”

“From serving?”

Steve nodded. 

“Bucky and his unit were at our base between rotations, he’d already been warned about Peggy.”

“What?”

“Some of his unit were working with a special task force and it was made clear they weren’t to discuss it with anyone. I remember Bucky telling me to stay away from Peggy, that this alpha female special agent had warned them about her. He couldn’t explain why, but the agent knew what she was talking about. She was also slightly terrifying and Buck didn’t want to get on the wrong side of her.”

“Natasha.” You say, piecing together Steve’s story and the one Natasha had told you about them meeting. 

“Yeah, and she was right.”

“Of course she was.” You quip.

“Peggy buzzed around them the minute they arrived. A lot ignored her, but there was one that didn’t. A beta. She’d whisper in his ear, run her hands all over him, all whilst she’d be looking at me.”

“What a bitch.”

“Bucky had it out with her. I was mad at him, thought he’d ruined any chance of her coming around to the idea of us being mates. He left the base to go back to the fight and we were barely on speaking terms. Peggy left base for a week or two and I managed to get some flowers and a few other gifts for her. The Colonel confirmed she was back and I went off looking. I found her around the back of one of the armouries fucking the beta.”

You’re not sure what you’d expected Steve to say but that wasn’t it. You lifted your head from his shoulder.

“I dropped everything I was carrying and she laughed. Like really laughed, I remember saying her name, and she told me she’d never be with me, that I was a runt and then she rejected me. Right there, while the other guy was inside her.”

You’re jaw clenched and the lights started to flicker. Steve heard a rumble of thunder and looked to the window that looked out into the rear garden. The clouds turned dark and rolled over the cottage.

When he looked back your eyes met and Steve could see yours were now flicked with gold. His brow furrowed before his eyebrows shot up.

“Is that you? Omega, is that you doing that?”

You dipped your head and shuffled away from him. 

“Sorry.” You mumbled. “I’m better at controlling them than I was but maybe not as much as I thought.”

Steve glanced down at your hands and saw they weren’t moving. You were doing this without even a wiggle of your fingers. He moved so he was back closer to you and placed his hand over yours. Placing a kiss to your forehead.

“Hey.” He says, trying to get you to look at him. “You don’t need to be worried. I’m not scared of your magic. I just didn’t know you could do that, with the thunder I mean. Bucky heard it, he mind linked to ask if we were okay. When I said I’d told you about Peggy, he told me that was probably you, but I’m not scared Y/N, I was just a little surprised.”

“Where is she now?” You ask quietly.

“You’re not going after her.”

“We’ll see.” Leaning away from him to pick up your glass of wine, you take a sip and turn toward him again. “Is that what did it? Is that what made you present?”

Steve nodded.

“The pain for the rejection ripped its way through me and caused a reaction. I stumbled away and I found myself heading towards a wooded part of the base. It was used to practice camouflage tactics and certain terrains. I hid there for a week. The Colonel found out what Peggy had done and made arrangements to have her shipped off to another base. When I wandered out the woods I was pretty much like I am now. An alpha. A true alpha. Less facial hair maybe, few less wrinkles and I was a little blonder.”

“Do you have a photo?”

“Of when I presented?”

“No.” You smile. “From before.” 

“Oh yeah.” Steve shuffles at the side of you and pulls a photo from his back pocket. “Buck and Nat said I should bring it. They thought you might not believe me otherwise.”

“I believe you.” You say taking the photo from him. “Oh my goddess! Look at you!” Steve’s scent briefly goes to worry, before you continue. “You were so cute!”

“Cute? Like in a puppy?”

“Like as in you were cute Steve. Sure you were smaller but you have the same eyes. Kind, strong, as bright as a summer sky, like they’ve seen a lot of things.”

You sit quietly again for a moment before Steve sips his wine again. 

“Anyone ever tell you that you have a way with words omega?”

“Once actually. By a famous novelist I know.” You tell him, causing Steve’s eyebrows shoot up. You brush over it and pass him the photo back.

“What happened after you presented?” You ask. “When she saw you were an alpha?”

“She tried to take back the rejection.”

“Wow.” You say sarcastically.

“But I cut her off, accepted her rejection, and then the Colonel's plans to have her reassigned came through. We’d bump into her on occasion and she’d try to talk to me. I concentrated on training and moving up the ranks. Now I’d presented I could actually join the army fully.”

“And that was how you met the others right? Apart from Bucky?”

“Pretty much.” Steve paused, leaned forward and placed his now empty glass on the coffee table. He let out a sigh and looked up at the ceiling “I just wanted to be sure that you were okay with it, with how I presented late.”

“Why do you think I wouldn’t be okay with it?”

“Well, our kids could go through the same thing. Sometimes my alpha gets snappier than he should, which is apparently usual with runts who present late and become true alphas, especially when we think something is being taken away from us or not going our way.”

You curled into him again and cupped his face, turning it towards you.

“And if that happens alpha, if our kids late present”

“They could be runts.”

“If they are, they’ll have a father that knows exactly what they’ve been through. A witch for a mother and a whole bunch of aunty witches who probably know every remedy possible to help them too. And, as long as you’re sure about me, and you can put up with me, no one is taking me away from you.” You say with a sudden serge of confidence. 

“I’m sure about you.”

Your lips met softly at first, before Steve pulls you into his lap. You straddled him as one his hands came to rest on the back of your head and the other strayed down towards your ass. Your hands found your way up his chest and on to his shoulders. One stayed there and another made its way to his hair. You melt into each other as the kiss becomes more passionate. You can’t remember the last time you were kissed like this. You pull away as a memory flashes of the last time your lips were on another’s. You don’t get far as Steve tightens his grip on you. 

Your faces stay close, noses brushing.

“Steve?” You ask in a whisper, the earlier confidence gone. “Alpha, are you sure?”

“I’m sure ‘mega.” He tells you as he begins to kiss you again.

Neither of you see your phone lighting up with missed calls, tossed to the side and on silent as a text comes.

Tyler - Call me back Y/N. Stop fucking ignoring me. We need to talk. 

Enjoy this fic? Fancy a cuppa? My Ko-Fi.

TAGLIST

Prying your hand off his back, smeared in his blood, you wrapped your hand around his cock, jerking him. 

His brow arched up as he licked over your nipple, a rumble escaping him. “You’re such a violent little Omega.” He smirked as he bit on your nipple, the sharpness making you squeak out about wanting more. “Make me come.” He challenged and you twisted your hand around his cock and shifting up to get your pussy off his thigh. You slid his thick head through your slick folds, coating him in your scent while running your hand up and down his cock, spreading yourself all over him. He marked your breasts with sharp nips, intending to bruise you, sending jolting shocks that had you wetter than before. “You’re fucking driving me crazy.” Curtis dropped his head to your chest while he rocked into your hand, groaning whenever you twisted your slick coated palm around him, exploring every part of his cock and balls with your fingertips. 

It became to much and he pushed up, swatting your hands away to jerk himself harshly over your withering body, spurts of hot seed shooting all over your chest. He was still throbbing when he spread your thighs wide apart and fucked his still hard cock into your wet pulsing core. His palm spread across your coated chest, smearing himself into your skin and scooping thick dollop to stuff into your mouth, making your eyes roll back and suck. 

The taste was intoxicating to you, swallowing his taste over and over. “That’s right Omega, you’re all fucking mine. Gonna be so good.” He pulled out of you, his hands sliding between your inner thighs, spreading his spend all into your soft skin there. His typically blazing blue eyes were almost black now. 

 Another jerk had you flung into the nest and he took you from behind. You wanted to scramble away, all the warnings screaming in your mind to run, that something was about to happen but you didn’t know what, all the sensations and the Alpha wrapping around you overwhelming you. 

Curtis’s heavy body was crushing down into you, and you felt his mouth latch onto where your shoulder met your neck, causing ripples of pleasure to make you submit to the sensation. “Curtis.” The only words you were able to spit out, trying to get his attention or ask for more, now you no longer knew. His tongue dragged against the sensitive spot, and his lips skimming over and over, driving you mad, what you really wanted was sharpness, a heavy body crushing you while he sank teeth into you. 

No, you don’t.

The way his mouth would mark you, leave you unable to go back to the omega passing as a beta every day. If he scarred you, everyone would know, and he would always find you. You shouldn’t want that, but you did in your heat-driven mind. You needed this strong Alpha to claim you. 

Don’t do the bond! 

Whatever was left of your sanity screaming while starting to fight against him the more aggressive Curtis got fucking you. Leaving marks all over you, his warning growl made your omega self want to submit, arching your neck for him even as you tried to push him away. 

NO! 

It was too late, piercing teeth sank in sharply, making you scream and buck under him, pleasure you’ve never experienced before made your vision go black. Coming once more on his cock and he roared loudly in your ear. 

When you finally came back, you felt his knot once more. Pulsing inside of your swollen cunt, even as sensitive as you were you were grinding back against him still. His heavy, sweaty body was plastered to your back, and a deep, sharp soreness made you whimper into the messy nest underneath you. 

But what made you feel despair was the bond you could feel; it pulsed in your chest like a throb you knew wasn’t you. It was too masculine, felt too much like the Alpha keeping you in the nest. A sob escaped you, and immediately, you felt his hands smooth along your side and his purr vibrate from his chest, his need to soothe his new mate. 

*

When it finally ended, you felt no heat simmering in your core, no need to mate with the Alpha who claimed your cage as his space. You had no idea of how many days it had been. After Curtis bonded you, it was a blur. Just the feral demands you made on him, and he matched every single one till you were sated and burrowed in the nest. 

But now he was gone, you were alone in this mess of destroyed sheets and heat-bruised body. You couldn't even blame him for any of the marks left on you, except where he savagely bit your shoulder. With a wince, you touched the spot and felt the jagged, scabbed-over mark. 

It was going to scar, which was his intention when doing it. You felt angry tears well up, so you swiped them away. 

So many years of hiding what you were was all gone. You now had no more standing beyond belonging to Curtis, his personal toy, slave, property to do whatever he wanted with. You heard the stories of alphas who handed their omegas out to anyone simply because they could; as a bonded omega, you had absolutely no say in what happened to you. 

That made you sick in your heart, because you didn't know Curtis. He was the ruthless Alpha who tore apart the train, murdered countless, and ruled this city into destruction and fear. Would he ruin you completely? Pass you around? Would he keep you caged in this dark room for the rest of your life? 

A upset concerned twang filled your chest suddenly, snapping you out of your racing thoughts, because that most definitely wasn’t you. 

The bond. 

That had to be the Alpha’s concerns you were feeling, it was like a line in your chest, connected to make your heart feel in a way it never has before. Your hand splayed against your chest as you studied the sensation. 

It was foreign, and it was all wrong to you. Your mind wanted to reject it, pull it out of your body, and toss it away. The bond called to your omega senses, wanting to be accepted and embraced, which made you want to hum your omega happiness. 

Tears welled up in your eyes. 

There was no breaking a mating bond, you couldn't just reject him. This horrible Alpha had tied you to him till death do you part. 

This made your omega pleased to be claimed, and you wanted to scream in fear and rage. 

That string hummed in a gentle vibration, meant to calm you. 

“There has to be a way to break it.” You started to pace back and forth frantically, ignoring the constant reassuring sensation in your chest. “This can't be it, this can't be my life now.” A sob escaped you. “This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen.” 

You were supposed to meet someone, feel those sparks, find love and passion within each other, it was supposed to be YOUR choice. 

Not this, not claimed. 

His scent was a drug and you twisted around to get closer, bury your face into his neck, and drown yourself in it. You climbed up him, latching your teeth onto the thickness of his shoulder, and wrapped your legs around him, rubbing yourself against him. 

“Say it Omega.” He snarled, his hand fisted into your hair, yanking your head back from his neck where you were licking over his neck, needing him to fill your senses. 

You snarled in his face, trying to wrench your head free of his grasp. No “I don’t want this.” You whimpered as your body burned at your denial, your will slowly breaking. 

His eyes were ice-cold chips glistening in the dark, his teeth baring together as his nostrils flared at your scent that was giving you away. “I will leave you in the nest then, alone.” He moved like he was going to untangle himself and you tightened yourself around him with a warning snarl, daring him to try and leave you. 

Yes, I need this.

“Knot. Me. Alpha.” 

He broke your hold and dropped you into the nest. Moving into the nest behind you, he easily lifted you to where he wanted you to lay and shifted your thighs apart to bury his face into your cunt with a hungry growl. Your thighs spread wider for his head and shoulders, arching under him to offer your aching cunt to his tongue. Inside your resolve crumbled with every sound you made in response to him. Every dominating lap through your folds made him grunt, your slick coating him while your hips arched to rub against his face. “Fuck ‘mega.” He lifted enough to swipe his tongue along the glistening of his bottom lip. “This cunt could be an addiction that I’m willing to fall for.” 

You gasped as you knew his words should make you feel shame, but pride in the Alpha worshipping your body made you crave more, lifting your hips back up for him to claim once more. His rough beard sent you spiraling, grasping at the blankets and running your hands down your body till you could claw at his scalp, pushing him in closer. 

He bit you, sucking your clit harshly while it swelled before pulling off to lick your slick from your clenching hole. 

It was driving you mad, so much and not nearly enough. “I need it! Need you to fuck me.” A sharp desire was unlike anything you’ve ever experienced, usually your heats were managed easily enough with drugs and toys, but this… you felt you were going to lose every shred of sanity you had if he didn’t knot you.

Curtis lifted his face from your core, fingers swiftly filling you with a rapid pace, a curl of his fingers pressing into a spot that made you wither in the nest. “Say my name Omega, you know what it is.” 

Angry pinpointed eyes stared up at him as he fingered you, your lips curling up in utter annoyance at him “Fuck. Me. Now. Curtis.” 

It was all it took. Ripping his fingers from your cunt and shoving them in your mouth, your eyes rolled back at the taste of you and with a harsh thrust that made you give a muffled squeal, Curtis started fucking you into the nest, his wet hand pining you back by your throat and lifting a thigh high against his side so he could go deeper. 

Your cunt spasmed around him, burning from how thick his cock was and you couldn't look away from where it went into your body, filling you over and over. This wasn’t like the toys you experimented with, he was completely dominating in the way he took you and part of it scared you while you scrambled for more of him. “Knew you would be perfect.” He smirked at you as you glanced up at him dazed. His tongue traveled along your neck and he dropped his chest against you, crushing you under him, just having to take him. 

It satisfied some deep need in you, the room filling with the sounds of how wet you were as his cock pounded into you and the heated scent of sex. 

You came, hard, crying his name, his panting groans right at your ear. “They would have torn you apart ‘mega, the way you sound.” He nuzzled against your neck, inhaling deeply, going slow now, deep drags of his cock because you were so sensitive. 

So this is what fucking an alpha is like. Your hazed mind thrummed with desire and pleasure, your body feeling like it was coming alive in the most feral way. You arched to meet him with every push into you, feeling how thick he was, splitting you open in a way you had never been before, every sensitive spot you had never experienced before sending pleasure shooting through your nerves until you needed more. 

Faster, harder, deeper. 

You pushed at the massive Alpha above you, till he let you sit straddled on him and digging your nails into his muscled pecs, starting to pound yourself on his cock. He grabbed your hips when you needed the help, slamming himself up into you. “Keep going ‘Mega, I’m gonna keep this cunt full of me.”

He met you with the same force, roaring out when your cunt squeezed around him and he filled you with heavy spurts of cum filling you. His knot locked you against him and you felt the need to start humming in satisfaction. Your eyes were closed so you didn't see how Curtis looked at you like you were everything he had been looking for his whole life. 

But the frenzy still wasn’t gone, you groaned as you kept jerking on him till he twisted you till you were pressed under him, his body heavy over yours to keep you pinned in place. 

“Easy you little vicious beast.” A loud purr escaped him, breaking through the haze of the heat to make you blink up at him, His fingers buried into your hair to hold you still while he ran his tongue along your neck, nipping gently to make you listen to him till you went still. 

“Get some rest” He rumbled as his hold gentled, almost like he was petting you. You felt limp under him, your body heavy as you gave slow blinks. 

“Curtis?” Your voice took on a nervous tone, like you were unsure of what had happened, a small sob escaping you as tears gathered in your eyes.  

“Ssh.” He rumbled between loud vibrating purrs. “I got you.” A calloused hand cupped your face, wiping at the tears brimming your eyes. His eyes softened as he scanned your face, dropping his forehead against yours. 

Once you finally settled down, burying yourself in against him, he frowned. 

Was this the first time you let an alpha get you through your heat? How had you been allowed this freedom for so long? It made fear rise up, his alpha side bristling and ready to fight to hold onto you because letting you go out into the train as an unbonded omega meant you were in constant danger, especially after he was with you.

There were ways that he could alleviate that danger, in a small sense, Curtis really couldn’t let you go yet. Not with the way the train's conditions were. Omegas were disappearing faster than before. 

Of course, you would fight him every step of the way, he could see your violent little self squaring off with him. It almost made him smirk at you ready to battle him, loved seeing an omega with backbone. 

This wasn’t the plan though, not for him. For everyone’s sake, he should pass you into another's care for your safety, any number of other alpha’s following him would make sure you were safe while he continued with securing the train. 

The beta looked at you like he was bored, not interested in this little rebelliousness you were trying to inflict on Curtis. 

“Just bring what I asked for Grey, we might be locked in for a few days.” Your teeth sank deeper, but he ripped his hand from your grasp and set you down. You scrambled away from the overpowering Alpha, his scent had permeated past the foul clothing you wore and caused you to feel dizzy, his scent distracting from your anger for a moment. Curtis inspected his hand, wiping the blood you drew away. “What’s your name you lovely wild creature?” 

You couldn’t answer. Instead, you looked around frantically, trying to find a way out and away from him. This was the Alpha that brought down the safety of Snowpiercer. Spinning all you saw were metal walls, a foreboding grey color that made you feel closed in, and the train's constant hum. You had to be in the lower levels of Snowpiercer, a place you’ve never been before.  

Gotta be a way out, FIND IT!

Another cramp in your belly made you almost double over, panic starting to sit in.

“I came to you for help, please.” You took a deep breath, almost regretting that choice when his scent overwhelmed you and causing another cramp to rip through you. 

“Why?” Curtis sharply asked. 

“Because.” You couldn't help the snarl that escaped you; pain and need made you on edge. “I am trying to secure the survival of the omega’s who are starving.” 

“So you thought it was smart to go into a room full of feral males while going into heat?” He growled when you grimaced in pain again, the sound soothing that ache till it was tolerable, although more slick dripped down your thighs and filled the room. 

Curtis took a step forward, tensing as if he was doing whatever he could to restrain himself. 

“We’re desperate and will die, every day more of us go missing. Whenever we come out of hiding, we’re hunted. I won’t last either way.” Another cramp made you gasp and your arms went around your middle to try and subdue it. His eyes narrowed on you, and another growl emitting from him made you feel your core clenching needing to have him. “Stop that, you’re making it worse.” You snapped, he subsided the pain but increased your desire to feel this Alpha claim you. You knew it was just your Omega reacting to a strong Alpha. 

“Stop this?” Another rumbling growl, lower in tone than before but your body still reacted, a flood of slick drenching your thighs that made Curtis’s pupils flare and his chest expand as he inhaled your scent. ‘You’re trying to resist your heat.” He said almost in disbelief. “Why would you torture yourself like that?” 

“Because.” You were starting to fade out, instincts making you forget what you were trying to accomplish and focus purely on the strong Alpha you were locked in with. “I make my own choices.” 

A wicked smile crossed his cold face, tilting his head as he growled again. Making you step closer while you gushed now. “That is what they filled your head with, that you had all the freedom on this train?” 

Everything ached now, needing the heavy pressure of the Alpha enclosing you. “Will you stop that noise!” 

His heavy growls shifted to something a little softer, an alpha’s purr intended for their mates. Your gaze snapped to the nest, yearning for the safety and comfort it would provide. Defiantly you shake your head, glaring murderously at him. “I have my second bringing provisions for you, now tell me-” His tone took on an authoritative tone, one you already felt compelled to respond to. “-what is your name.” 

It was instinctive when you answered. “Y/N… Curtis, right? You have to let me get out of here or lock me somewhere till this passes.” Maybe you could reason with this Alpha, after all, why would he want an unwilling fuck when there were plenty of other choices who would happily accept him. A fool's wish but one you were dead set on believing at this moment.

“You are locked in with me for your safety. Either you submit to me to get you through this heat or you leave and you will never make it out of here, they will descend on you. You saw what happened before.” 

“You killed those alpha’s.” 

“I would do it without hesitation again.” His nostrils flared and his eyes simmered darkly. “They would have torn you apart."  

You hissed when Curtis approached you, making you back up sharply but raise your head in challenge. There was no way you were going to lower yourself to this monster. 

He was the reason everyone's life was destroyed. The train was their only source of life possible and now who knows how long they would last. Your voice darkened. “I said let me out of this room, you say you're doing this to keep me safe? Then take me to a safe place, which isn't in here with you."  

"You're mine." The Alpha stopped before you and wrapped his hand into your coat, dragging you in closer till his nose could inhale against it. You wanted to fight against him, but his scent overwhelmed you, making your eyes roll back and a soft moan escape. His growl sent heat straight to your core, slick seeping from you. 

“Wrong, this is wrong.” He growled, yanking at the coat till it was removed from your body. It seemed to offend him by the way he threw it as far from you as he could, finally able to see what was underneath the coat. “There you are…” The sensation was so erotic at that moment that you sank into it. A deep inhale from him expanded his chest, lowering his nose to trail along your neck. You felt his thick erection pressing against your belly, a timid whimper happened to escape, fear at what this Alpha would do to you. You managed to avoid being claimed all these years.

Your throat went dry seeing him, how massively Alpha he was, blocking your view from the rest of the room. Your arousal made your body heat, sweat building as well as slick. He looked like he was struggling to restrain himself now, jaw clenched and his nostrils flaring, his eyes were dark as they followed you wherever you went. You’ve never seen an alpha going into a rut but you’ve read about it. 

All because your heat was coming and you still had months till it was supposed to start again. 

What was going on? 

You backed away, trying to put as much space between you two as the room allowed. You gave another glance around, fear choking you. There really was no way out but that door. As if he even knew what you were thinking. “It’s locked Y/N” You leaned back into the train wall, the coolness of the metal dispelling some of the heat in your body. You felt like you couldn’t get enough air, your eyes unable to look away from the Alpha prowling back and forth across the room. He must be sucking all the air out of the room.

“You have to let me go Alpha, let me get away from here please.” 

“It’s Curtis and I can’t do that.” 

“You won’t.” Your anger rose among the desire, more slick collecting between your thighs, catching his attention. 

“That too.” He growled from across the room, seeming to try to give you space. “I can’t let you go, I set you free and every alpha out there will smell you’re in heat and what do you think will happen to you?” 

“It’s only like that because you made it that way.” 

Curtis snorted, his eyes following you closer than before, like he was waiting for you to lose control and give in to your heat. “I simply tore down the curtain Omega.” 

You bared your teeth at him and turned away from the maddening Alpha. “What curtain? We were all civil before you showed up." He merely grunted at your assumption. "What are you planning on doing to me then?” 

You heard him stalk across the room, your eyes closing in defeat because you knew what was coming, all these years you avoided being in this situation and now there was no place to run, no place to hide and no one to save you. 

You were the Alpha’s now. At least till your heat passed and he lost interest in you. 

You can survive this.

Now you were going into the literal den of killers, basically offering yourself up as a lamb for slaughter if the brutal alphas caught you. You were as prepared as you could possibly be, having spent your life passing yourself as a beta for the freedom it gave. Now those skills were valued, making you thankful for the years you practiced suppressing your Omega with the pills. But now they were illegal, making the ones sold on the street unreliable.

All you have to do is go in and make the Alpha listen to you, that the supplies he is sending isn't enough for the omegas.

Already your heart was threatening to slam its way out of your chest. Your hand fumbled into the oversized jacket pocket, searching for the suppressants the group managed to buy by selling most of their remaining food. You had sought out the dealer to purchase the now illegal drug, only managing to score a handful. Tiny blue pills fumbled into your palm and you shot them into your mouth, counting how much time you had.

Already your stomach cramped and sweat broke out on your brow. You were so scared. Pressing your nose to the heavy jackets collar you were wearing, you inhaled deeply. The stink was foul enough that it made you gag, but anything right now that covered your omega was a gift. Even if it reeked of an unwashed beta. 

Now or never.

You made your way up the stairs to go past the door leading into the few front cars of the train, raucous alphas made the noise unbearable with their loud growls and yells to be heard over one another. Fights were breaking out all around you while you slipped through the crowds, thankfully unseen as no one paid attention to what they assumed was just a beta going to ask the Alpha for a favor.

Every instinct told you that you had to get out, fear making you feel sick and heated under the foul jacket. You have to do this, the omega's were counting on you, it was this or starvation at this point.

You can do this Y/N.

Nasous as your nose buried into the stinking fabric, you fought the urge to vomit up the pills. Just a little closer, you could already see the large open space where the tail end leader was, holding some kind of court as someone appeared to be pleading for their life.

The stink of blood saturated this space, amplified with the overpowering alpha aggression, it was making the hair on the back of your neck stand up in warning. It was only a second of warning before the roar rose up above the noise and the man pleading his case torn apart, his life draining faster than the blood from his body.

Run, run, run. Every instinct screamed, but your feet planted in place. This was the only chance the small clan of omegas had. They were depending on you.

You snuck along the edge of the massive group who mostly ignored you except to jostle you out of the way. Moving closer to the Alpha took finesse, making you spend a significant amount of time studying him. This is the first time you have seen him up close. He was large, as most alphas were, but he looked towering. Cold piercing eyes caught everything, including you for a moment, seeming to study you for a few seconds with interest before moving on to another part of the massive group, the whole while the look on his face was stone. He was clothed mostly head to toe, so you were unable to see more of him beyond his scarred face, but you imagined the rest of him was just as hard and brutal as his look alone was.

"I did what I had to Everett." Spat a new victim being held captive in front of the Alpha snapped, seeming tired of begging for his life like he knew he was at the end. "You came and destroyed all of us, what I did was your fault." He spat on the ground near the Alpha's feet.

You had to muffle the gasp as you watched what happened next. The Alpha didn't show mercy to the man cowering in front of him. He tilted his head slightly and the beta next to him sprang forward, his hand grasping his head and wrenching till a loud sickening snap echoed around you. His body collapsed lifeless.

Everything about this Alpha said power and danger. It made you want to run, but the Omega ached to get closer as if his strength would be gentle for you, keep you safe.

Time for more pills.

You risked shaking out the pills into your bare palm, your fingers skimming the collar of your jacket enough to pull it down from your mouth to swallow when all the sudden the alphas in front of you turned, inhaling the air around you.

Oh gods no. 

All was deathly still for a few moments, then they rushed for you. You tried stumbling back, getting away from where a surge of hands reached for you, grabbing at you brutally as your scent started a frenzy, part of your clothes ripped away and your screams were lost in the aggressive snarls and yip sounds.

Then as suddenly as it started you were slammed down into the dirty floor while protecting your head from being bounced and rattled against the metal while someone stood over you, his large hand grasping the back of your neck and the most animalistic roar rattled you, making you cover your head and start praying, sure that this was the end for you.

You risked looking up and your heart sank, fear curling like a poison, making you unable to move. Curtis Everett had you pinned to the floor, blood-streaked all over him, his hands covered in it as his snarl dared anyone to come closer. "MINE." He roared once more before he hauled you up and into his arms. You squirmed to try to break out of his hold, but it tightened around you to the point you were wheezing from loss of air.

The alphas backed away, the bodies strewn around where you two stood made you gag.

They couldn't all be from him?

You paused for a moment, you hadn’t told her that the relationship had moved past fake to real. Elena and her dad knew and you guessed by extension, Chris knew now too, everyone else thought it was real anyway. Steph was the only person who didn’t know. Out of everyone, she probably had the most right to know since there was a chance, albeit slim, that this could all blow up and go wrong and it would be her job to clean it up. 

There was absolutely nothing in your contract that said you couldn’t date a player, so you didn’t have to worry about termination, but that didn’t make the prospect any less anxiety-inducing.

“Uh right yeah, it’s up going great” you nodded “We’ve heard that the USA head coach is paying attention to Ari and all media I’ve seen is good, I think it’s gotten the preferred message across” you said, hoping that all the good news would soften the blow “there’s has been a slight change of plan though”

Steph arched a brow as she looked over at you, “In what way?”

You shifted uncomfortably in your chair “Well, naturally we’ve spent a lot of time together and the fake affection we showed each other quite quickly changed to real affection and we decided that we don’t want it to be fake anymore”

“Right”, Steph said slowly tapping her pen against her lips. 

“Frankly, I think even if we hadn’t been doing this fake relationship, the end product would be the same, considering our mutual friends and similar interests and values”, you rambled.

Steph held out her hand to silence you, “Stop panicking, it's okay I’m not mad” 

“You’re not?” You weren’t entirely convinced, her reaction didn’t scream I’m not mad. 

“Like you said, it’s perfectly natural that feelings changed and this relationship blossomed, and I am happy for you, jealous like a lot of other girls would be, but happy” Steph said, a reassuring smile appearing on her face “Ari despite his hot-headness and stubbornness is a good guy, someone who would do anything for the people he loved”

“Thank you”, you smiled bashfully.

“I do have to warn you though”, Steph said, her voice turning serious “If this goes south and blows up, then it’s my responsibility to make sure he comes out of it unburnt in the media, I like you, but I can only protect one of you and it's not my job to protect you”

You nodded, “I understand, I’m not the kind of person who likes to cause a scene anyway”

“Good, and I must remind you that Ari’s position on Team USA isn’t confirmed yet, won’t be for a while, so if this goes south before then, you will still need to act like his girlfriend until it is confirmed, possibly a little longer”, Steph told you. 

“Of course, I know we’re probably still in the honeymoon phase, but I don’t see that happening, and if it does, I’m sure I can put aside my feelings”, you reassured her.

“Good, I’m sorry that I have to be the devil’s advocate here, I am really happy for you, I don’t know exactly what went down back in LA for you but I can see you’re a much brighter person, you two was the cutest couple at the christmas gala” Steph smiled softly “I just need to say all of that PR bullshit stuff so we all know where we stand and there’s no nasty surprises”

“I appreciate it, anything else you need from me?” You breathed out a sigh of relief.

“No all good, hope you have a good New Year’s”, she smiled, gesturing for you to leave.

“You too” You made your way back to your desk. 

You grab your phone and quickly shoot Ari a text to wish him good luck and let him know that you'll see him after the match. He responded before you even had a chance to lock your phone telling you that he couldn’t wait to see you. You smiled to yourself, a warm feeling spreading from your chest outwards across your entire body. 

You pocket your phone before grabbing the team phone that everyone used to capture media during match days. Apparently, they made the move to an official team phone after a college intern accidentally posted a personal photo on the team’s Instagram page after a wild party. It wasn’t anything highly appropriate, just a picture of college kids dancing at a house party, but some of the kids were underage. You wondered what happened to that intern and where they were now.

The fans were beginning to fill the stadium when you made it down to the sidelines, a sea of blue jerseys and bobble hats with drinks and food in hand, as they found their seats. You stopped a few people for photos in between capturing a few videos and candid moments. The mascot was causing havoc with fans as usual, stealing bobble hats, so there was a lot of content to capture.

When the teams made their way out to start warming up, you made your way to that end of the pitch to capture moments. You enjoyed watching how the different players warmed up. Some like Curtis, were in the zone and nothing would break them out of it, others were hyping themselves up and turning any nervous energy into determination. 

Johnny spotted you as he was running up and down the pitch, pausing at the end of his run to show off his guns with a joking pouting expression. You laughed and snapped a few photos, and sent them straight up to the media team to be edited and posted on team socials. You had no idea whether they would, but they seemed like the perfect photos that captured the jovial feeling in the stadium.

The team appeared to agree because you got a text from Steph asking more of the same. You smiled proudly, and as you looked up from the phone, you caught Ari watching you with a smirk on his face and an eyebrow arched. You snapped a photo of him, poking your tongue out at him which earned you a playful roll of the eyes. A photo you also captured.

You continued to capture videos and photos of the team warming up, laughing and talking with each other right up. You even got photos of Elena and the rest of the pitch-side team having fun before the match. 

When it was time for kickoff, you found your seat and settled in to watch the game. The team photographer and videographer would take over the content capturing now with their higher-tech equipment, better suited to the fast nature of sport. Your job now was to monitor the socials for fan reactions and enjoy the match. 

The match was probably one of the best you’ve ever seen. The bears were running in tries from the second the whistle blew. Almost every player of the team scored tries, Johnny scored a hat trick, and Ari scored one too, which had you screaming in joy from the stands. You almost felt bad for the other team, but it was like they hadn’t even turned up. 

When the whistle finally went, the team took their time heading back into the changing rooms. They walked around the pitch celebrating with the fans, taking photos with kids and other fans. Everyone in a very good mood, perfect for New Year’s Eve celebrations later. 

The entire team was back in the changing room by the time you managed to make your way through the crowds. The sounds of celebrations bled through the walls, so you knocked as hard as you could before entering, camera rolling on your phone to capture the moment.

“Everyone decent?!” You called out.

“Always decent for you”, you heard Johnny call back, shortly followed by a yelp.

The door opened and you saw Elena “You’re safe”, she chuckled.

You laughed as you walked in, panning the camera around at the team. Most had their match day shirts off, beers in hand. You smiled when you saw Ari, standing next to Johnny, who was rubbing the back of his head.

“Pay me no attention, just here to film you celebrating”, you tell the team, who promptly return to their conversations, all except Ari, who makes his way over to you “Congrats on the try”, you smile up at him.

“Thank you, scored it for you”, he said with a lopsided grin, leaning down to swiftly kiss you. 

“Look at the lovebirds!” Johnny calls out, making Ari groan in annoyance.

“Storm”, he warned, shooting a look over at the winger who paid him no attention.

“I knew you two were endgame from the second you met at my Halloween party”, Johnny continued, pointing to you with his beer bottle. 

“No, you didn’t,” Chris snorted, shaking his head, being one of the few who knew you and Ari had met months earlier.

“I did, it’s all thanks to me, I’m Cupid” Johnny grinned victoriously.

“You had nothing to do with it”, Elena called out, “it was me who invited her!” 

“Thank you for making none of this footage usable!” You laughed, shaking your head as you stopped filming. You looked up at Ari, who was chuckling along with you as he moved to wrap his arm around your waist.

“It’s usable”, Johnny argued, shaking his head.

“They’re not gonna put a video of you discussing our love life on the team socials”, you pointed out, laughing.

“I meant for your wedding! When are you gonna propose Levinson?” Johnny smirked.

“Not before I kill you”, Ari warned. 

Johnny just winked and turned his attention away to Jensen and a couple other teammates.

“I’m sorry”, Ari apologised, running his hand up and down your back.

“You have nothing to apologise for”, you smiled, lifting up onto your tiptoes to kiss him, “but if you wanna make up for it… Get your shirt off”

Ari’s grin widened “Anything for you” he said, putting his beer bottle down “Give me a hand” 

You put down the team phone next to his beer before helping him with the surprisingly difficult task of peeling his matchday shirt off his body. You had no idea how tight to the skin they were, not that you were complaining, that tightness made Ari look incredible. You did wonder whether they felt the same relief that women feel when taking off a bra.

“Thank you”, he breathed out as he tossed the shirt into the laundry bin.

“No problem, I’ll never say no to undressing you”, you smirked, turning to pick the team phone back up only to find it missing “What?” You muttered in confusion.

“What is it?” Ari asked, frowning in concern.

“The media team phone is gone, I could have sworn I put it here,” you said, looking around where you last saw it.

“I’m sure it just fell onto the flo- oh, there it is”, Ari said pointing to the opposite side of the changing room.

You turn to see Johnny taking selfies with his teammates using the media team's phone. He was currently trying and failing to get Curtis to smile, only getting a disgruntled raised eyebrow.

“That either makes my job so much easier or harder”, you sighed, hoping it was the former and the selfies were what Steph wanted.

Ari shrugged his shoulders, “If it means I can celebrate with you a little longer, I don’t mind at all”, he smiled down at you.

You smiled back at him, “Yeah there’s worse things to be doing”

Eventually, you got the phone back from Johnny, you checked the photos he took, and thankfully, they were perfect. You sent them up to the media team and got back to work, filming and taking pictures of the entire team celebrating. You made sure to include the coaching and medical staff, too, because they deserved the spotlight just as much.

The bathroom was full of steam when Ari stepped out of the shower, a consequence of having a shower after you. He had suggested that you share a shower, but you reminded him that you had a party to get to and couldn’t get distracted. However, the heat in your eyes and the smirk on your lips told him that you had seriously considered it. 

He wrapped the towel around his waist before stepping over to the large mirror and wiping away the condensation. He did a quick assessment of his torso for bruises post-match but found nothing. Not that he was expecting anything, the match today had been so easy it was like playing against 5-year-olds. Ari had just run straight through any player who tried to stop him. 

Once he did everything he needed to, he stepped out of the bathroom, glad for the cooler air. He spotted you sitting at the end of the bed putting in some earrings, already dressed, but all Ari could see was the black trenchcoat you wore.

He glanced at the imaginary watch on his wrist “I didn’t think I was in there for too long”, he joked.

You chuckled, “I was starting to worry we’d miss midnight”, you smirked.

Ari walked over to the closet to grab the clothes he was planning to wear “What’s with the coat?” he asked as he laid the shirt and trousers on the bed.

“Well, you see there’s this thing called seasons, and right now it’s the one called winter”, you said, glancing over your shoulder at him, he levelled you a look, but you continued “and winter is like super cold, especially here in New England”

“Hilarious. But it’s pretty warm in here, it’s like a rainforest in there, thanks to you,” Ari said, pointing to the en-suite where steam was still spilling out. 

You just shrugged your shoulders in response. Ari narrowed his eyes at you as he shrugged on his shirt “So I’m not gonna see what you have on underneath that coat of yours?” He asked.

You looked over your shoulder at him again with an innocent smile on your face, “Who says I’m wearing something underneath it?”

That mental image immediately made Ari’s cock twitch, the corner of your lips tilted up in response. Ari took a deep breath to control himself because he knew he wasn’t gonna get a chance to indulge in that yet. He quickly pulled up his boxers and trousers, hoping the fabric prison would help. 

“As much as I’d love that, I don’t think the club we’re going to will be” he said as he buttoned his trousers and tucked in his shirt “you know, no shirt, no service”

You didn’t say anything, he watched as you stood up, his eyes falling to the red heels you wore, the only part of your outfit he could see. You sauntered over to him, hands reaching up to his chest. 

“You did one too many”, you said, voice low and sultry, as you unbuttoned his shirt by one.

Ari’s hands instinctively moved to your hips, but before he could make contact, you stepped back from his reach “I’ll let you finish getting ready”, you smirked as you walked out of the bedroom, grabbing a red clutch as you went. 

The door shut behind you with a soft click. Ari was silent for a moment before he laughed quietly to himself and shook his head. The girl he met in LA was back, no… she’d evolved. Ari barely knew that girl in LA, that girl was just one facet. Over the past few months, he’d seen there was far more to her. She was beautifully complex, and Ari got to see every single detail. 

He finished getting ready as quickly as he could. He sauntered out of the bedroom, spotting you leaning against the kitchen island. He strode straight over to you, you had barely looked up when he cupped your jaw and kissed you deeply.

“What was that for?” You breathed when he finally pulled away.

Ari smiled down at you, the pad of his thumb brushing over your chin, just below the cherry red lips he had just kissed.

He took a deep breath as he searched for a reason. He didn’t know why it was taking so long because the answer was so obvious that it couldn’t be anything else. He just wasn’t quite brave enough to say it. Give him hundreds of scrum players to tackle anyday, that was so much easier than those 3 words.

“Because I can’t believe I get to have you Bon… even if you are torturing me right now, not knowing what’s underneath this coat” Ari smirked, toying with the collar of your coat.

You laughed and smiled up at him, “All in good time, Clyde,” you said, reaching up to lift his hand off your coat, weaving your fingers through his “Let’s go before we’re really late”

Ari chuckled as he let you lead him out of the apartment. The team had organised the New Year's Eve party at one of the more popular clubs in town, booking out one of the VIP areas so they could have their own space away from the crowds. 

As soon as he stepped inside the club, Ari turned to you, “May I take your coat?” he held out his hand.

You laughed and slowly began to undo your coat “I guess you’ve waited long enough” you smirked as you slipped your coat off your shoulders.

Ari’s breath caught, and he had to stop himself from groaning when he finally saw your outfit. You wore a sparkly ruby red mini dress that made you look like a work of art. The corset-like bodice showed off the shape of your body in the best way. The skirt of the dress was swept to the side to create a thigh slit, where Ari noticed a couple of chains. 

“Are you gonna take my coat or should I slip it back on?” you smirked, bringing his attention back to your face. 

“Don’t you dare” Ari warned as he took your coat and quickly passed it to the cloak room attendant “I’m gonna have to keep you on a tight leash tonight” he murmured as he wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you close to his side.

“You don’t trust me?” you laughed, looking at him as you walked further into the club.

“I don’t trust the rest of the male population of Boston”, he said, eyes scanning the room to identify anyone who was looking for too long, sending them glares. 

“Good thing I only have eyes for you, Clyde,” you reached up to press a kiss to his cheek. 

The majority of the team was already in the VIP area when you got over there. Chris and Elena spotted both of you, the latter rushing over to give you a hug.

“Oh my god, you look incredible, Ari, Chris, I’m sorry but she’s mine now” Elena said as she pulled out of the hug and admired your outfit. 

“I’d like to see you try Rogers” Ari huffed, wrapping his arm around your shoulders.

“You might regret that, Levinson” Elena smirked “I got some new tape… extra sticky”

“You’re fighting a losing battle, man” Chris chuckled, clapping Ari on the shoulder “I’m gonna get some drinks? Join me?” 

Ari nodded, “Sure, what do you want?” he asked you. 

You shrugged your shoulders, “Surprise me.”

“C’mon, there’s a dance floor with our names on it” Elena said, grabbing your hand and dragging you away from Ari. 

Chris guided Ari in the opposite direction, but Ari couldn’t help looking over his shoulder to watch you disappear into the crowds. At the bar, Chris flagged down a bartender who gestured he’d be over in a minute while Ari turned and leaned against the bar, keeping his eyes out on the dancefloor. A smile tugged at his lips as he watched you laugh and dance alongside Elena. 

“I’m gonna cut straight to the point”, Chris said, grabbing Ari’s attention. 

Ari arched a brow as he glanced over at his captain, “Oh yeah?”

“You and Y/N…” Chris started with a pointed look.

“Those are our names”, Ari nodded “I thought you were cutting straight to the point”, he added with a smirk. 

“I am, as diplomatically as I can anyway”, Chris huffed before taking a deep breath “It’s all real now, isn’t it?”

Ari nodded as he looked back out at you on the dance floor “Yeah, it is”, he admitted “No point beating around the bush, still gonna give me that ‘you hurt her, I’ll hurt you’ talk?” he asked, glancing over at Chris. 

“It still stands, but no”, Chris shook his head “I’m happy for you two. I have to admit, when you guys first met in LA, I could see the spark, so I knew it was only a matter of time”, he smirked.

Ari chuckled as he turned to face the bar “Good to know she has that many people looking out for her, but the warning is not needed because I have no intention of hurting her, she’s gone through hell and back. I’m not gonna send her there again” he promised. 

Chris smiled softly, “Good, glad to hear it”

“When did you figure it out in the end?” Ari asked, curiosity getting the better of him. 

“The week after the gala”, Chris admitted.

Ari arched a brow “Really? What gave it away?”

“Nothing, El told me after she got back from Brunch”, Chris huffed before glancing over at Ari “I was waiting for you to come to me and tell me…”

Ari smirked, “After that warning you gave me?” he reminded him.

Chris chuckled, “Fair, thought we were pretty close though, I’m your captain, but I’m also your friend”

Ari breathed a deep sigh as he considered his next words, “You are… i’m just not great at that sort of thing” There were many cards Ari held close to his chest, some so closely he didn’t know how to show them if he wanted to.

Chris nodded, “Fair enough, but if you ever need it”, he said with a pointed look. 

Thankfully for Ari, the bartender finally appeared and ended the conversation, so he didn’t need to respond. He ordered himself a beer and you a cocktail before heading back towards the VIA session, more importantly, back towards you.

Your eyes lit up when you spotted him “Ooh, that looks nice” you smirked, taking the beer from his hand and taking a sip.

“Hilarious” he deadpanned as he passed you your cocktail and took his beer back.

You grinned up at him, tucking yourself into his side and taking a large sip of your cocktail, “god this is good,” you hummed to yourself.

“Looked like you were having fun out there” Ari nodded towards the dance floor.

You nodded enthusiastically, “Yes and you” you said, pointing to his chest “should join me” 

“I like that idea a lot” Ari grinned, not just because he liked the idea of dancing with you, but because he could send a message to every guy in this bar that you were here with him.

“Let's not wait around then”, you smirked, downing the rest of your drink in a way that would impress any rugby star before grabbing his hand and dragging him towards the dance floor.

Ari laughed, barely having enough time to down his own drink and ditch the bottle on a random table as you passed. Once his hands were free, he placed his hands on your hips to keep you close.

The next few hours were a blur of drinks, dancing, and Ari trying his hardest not to drag you to a dark corner and have his way with you. Each sway of your hips against his was a test of his patience in a way he never wanted to be tested again.

Before he knew it, it was nearing midnight. You had your arms wrapped around his shoulders, a warm smile on your face as you looked up at him. Ari couldn’t help but smile down at you, brushing some hair from your face. He could barely hear the countdown, all he could focus on was how fucking gorgeous you looked. 

The only reason he knew it was midnight was that you were reaching up to kiss him. He immediately responded, fingers weaving into your hair, hand gripping your hip. He felt you sigh into the kiss, your chest pressing into his as your back arched. He deepened the kiss, not caring that you were out in public. Let people stare, at least they’d know that you were his.

His lips chased yours as you pulled away “Happy New Year, Clyde” you smiled up at him.

Ari smiled, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear “Happy New Year Bon”, he traced his fingers along your jawline, drawing your lips back to his.

You chuckled softly, resting your hands on his chest as he kissed you “Got any resolutions?” you asked, head tilting in the cutest way.

Ari shook his head, “My life feels pretty perfect already”  he admitted, there was nothing he wanted to change right now.

Being here with you was something he thought he could only ever dream of, now that it was his reality, he didn’t want to change a thing. There was nothing to improve on.

“What about you?” he asked.

“Same, life feels pretty good” you smiled up at him “I guess my resolution can be to make sure things only get better” 

“I think that’s the best resolution I’ve heard” Ari smirked, he leant down to kiss you again but was interrupted by Johnny.

“Shots! Take a shot!” he cheered, shoving a tray full of shots between the two of you.

“What are they?” you asked as you took one from the tray.

“Vodka” Johnny said, pushing the tray towards Ar,i who reluctantly took one.

“Vodka? I thought you’d go for tequila”, you arched a brow.

“Don’t encourage him” Ari warned. 

A smirk grows on Johnny’s face “You want tequila? We can do tequila” he agreed “get that down you and I’ll get the order in”

“Deal” you smirked, shooting back the vodka.

Ari’s brows rose in surprise as you easily handled the liquor, he smiled though, because you were happy and that’s all he wanted.  

“Don’t go crazy, you’ll regret it in the morning” he chuckled as he downed his shot. 

“I know my limits, don’t worry” you smirked. 

As it turned out, you really did not know your limits. By the time you managed to encourage you home, it was 3 am and you were definitely drunk. Not that Ari was complaining because you were a cuddly drunk. Elena had offered to help Ari get you home but he waved her off, because he would be an awful forward if he couldn’t handle someone less than half his size. 

He initially had his arm around your waist to keep you steady, but you were so clingy that you were tripping both yourself and him up, so he switched tactics and got you to climb onto his back. It made it easier to walk, but it was very distracting when you kept pressing kisses to his neck.

Eventually, he made it into his bedroom, where he carefully placed you down at the bottom of the bed. You instantly lay down, giggling as you looked up at him, his hands on his hips. 

“You look so big from here” you giggled. 

“And you look pretty drunk” Ari chuckled, grabbing your hands to pull you back up to a sitting position “and we need to get you ready for bed”

A seductive grin grew on your face, well as seductive as you could be while drunk, as you stood up. Ari catching you when you wobbled. 

“You gonna undress me Clyde” you asked, trailing a fingertip down his peck.

“Yes but not like that” he sighed, an amused smile on his face. 

You pouted, “but you wanted to earlier, I saw you looking at me in the club” you said, booping him on the nose.

“I did, but that was before you got this drunk” he explained as he gently turned you around and unzipped your dress “I’m far more sober than you, so it wouldn’t be appropriate” 

He stepped away to grab one of his tees for you to sleep in. When he turned back around he saw you had turned around to face him too but your brows were furrowed and your pout more pronounced “it’s my fault” you muttered, voice cracking. 

Ari closed the distance between you quickly, cupping your cheek to get you to look up at him “no its not” he stated firmly “You had fun tonight, more fun than I bet you’ve had in years” you nodded slightly in response, making Ari smile softly “And that makes me so happy”

You tilted your head, “but you wanted to,” you reminded me. 

“I did” Ari admitted, “but I’m happy to wait for another time because we’ve got all the time in the world, Bon”

You bit your lower lip as you looked up at him, your eyes turning glassy, “god I love you” you whispered. 

Ari’s breath caught at your admission. You were pretty drunk so he had no idea how real that admission was, whether you meant to say it out loud or at all. He had no idea whether you would even remember saying it in the morning. He knew he had to respond, though, and there was only one true answer. 

“I love you too,” he smiled, leaning down to press a chaste kiss to your lips  “Now put this on” he chuckled, holding out the tee he grabbed for you. 

You smiled up at him and did as he said, he then guided you to your side of the bed, sitting you down, “don’t fall asleep just yet” he told you before stepping away. 

He first went to the kitchen to grab you a glass of water “Drink that,” he ordered. 

“But what if I need a wee in the middle of the night” you pointed out as you took a few sips. 

“Trust me, needing a wee is better than a hangover” he chuckled as he made his way into the bathroom to grab some cotton pad and your makeup remover.

He crouched down in front of you and began removing your makeup for you, he knew you’d feel awful in the morning if you slept in your makeup. As he did so you giggled like a 5-year-old who was having their face painted and found the sensation ticklish.

Once the glass was empty and your face free of makeup, he tucked you into bed. You pouted again saying you couldn’t fall asleep until he got in bed too, so even though he had a couple more things to do he quickly stripped down to his boxers and climbed into bed beside you. You curled up beside him, head resting on his chest, arm outstretched across his torso, legs tangled with his.

He smiled down at you, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head, “sleep tight, Bon”

Your head was pounding when you woke up the next morning. An involuntary groan escaped your lips as you rolled onto your back, hand moving to rub your forehead like that would make any difference. You peeked to the right when you heard a soft chuckle.

Ari was sitting up against the headboard, shirtless, his phone in hand as he smiled down at you, “How are you feeling?”

”Like I shouldn’t have had that 3rd tequila shot” you groaned, covering your eyes with your hand even though the room was still pretty dark.

”You had 4 shots of tequila”, Ari reminded you. 

“Storm is a bad influence”, you grumbled. 

“I did try to warn you,” Ari chuckled “, there’s painkillers on your bedside table and a fresh glass of water” he nodded over in that direction “Are you hungry or is food the last thing you want?”

You let out a long sigh, taking stock of how you felt. You felt like you had been run over by a truck, but your stomach felt calm and not on the verge of a revolt “A little hungry, nothing greasy though, I feel fine, but I don’t want to tempt fate”

Ari chuckles as he climbs out of bed, you watch him walk around to your side. He leans down to press a kiss to your forehead “Take some painkillers and drink that, and I’ll be right back with food”

You did as you were told, sitting up enough to take the painkillers. You had drunk over half the glass when Ari returned, a plate of food in one hand and a banana in the other. 

“One thing rugby players know best is how to cure a hangover quickly enough so coaches don’t find out you had one”, he said as he put down the plate of food on your lap. 

“So it's not some strange cocktail that looks like it's from Shrek’s swamp and smells like it too?” You asked as you looked down at the avocado toast and banana that he’d brought you. 

“That’s only for extreme cases, if you had a couple more shots, we might have needed it” Ari smirked as he returned to his side of the bed. 

“Aren’t you hungry?” You asked as you tucked in, noticing his lack of food.

Ari shook his head, “already ate, I’ve been up for a while”

Your brows furrowed as you realised you had no idea what the time was “What time is it?” You asked, glancing around. 

“Just gone midday”, Ari said, glancing at his phone. 

You nearly choked on your avocado toast “Seriously? I don’t think I slept in that late when I was in college” 

Ari chuckled, “It was New Year's, so I think you can be forgiven, especially since you seemed to have so much fun last night”

You smiled softly to yourself as you recalled the events of last night. You couldn’t remember the last time you just let loose and had fun like that. In college, you went to parties, but you were always a little self-conscious, so you restrained yourself and played it cool. Dan and his friend weren’t the big partying type either, so even though you had the confidence, you never had the opportunity. 

For the first time in your life, you had both. The confidence and the opportunity. You didn’t have to worry about feeling self-conscious because you had Ari. Ari, who would be by your side, laughing along with you, making you feel like there was no one else in the room.

You looked over to him and remembered the admission you had made when he was trying to get you into bed. You probably wouldn’t have said it if you hadn’t been so drunk, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t true. You were just loose-lipped enough that you were brave enough to say it.

”You love me,” you said softly.

Ari blinked like he was surprised that you remembered. His usual charismatic smile grew as he looked back at you, “and you love me too, I didn’t think you’d remember that”

”There’s no way I could ever forget that” you smiled, “especially since it's true”

It was, and it felt so simple. When you said that you loved dan for the first time, you could remember how sweaty your palms were and how your heart raced. At the time, you thought it was because it was such a momentous occasion, but you were so wrong. Because this is how it was supposed to feel, peaceful and just so right. You weren’t nervous because there was nothing to feel nervous about when everything was exactly how it should be.

”I’m very glad to know that” Ari grinned, leaning in to kiss you, but you lifted your hand to cover his mouth and stop him.

” Morning breath, we’ll have time for that later” you reasoned. 

Ari chuckled, wrapping his long fingers around your wrist and pressing a kiss to your palm “Sounds like a plan, what do you want to do today?”

You shrugged your shoulders, “Just relaxing with you sounds good to me, read a book, watch a movie” you suggested.

” Sounds perfect” Ari grinned. 

For the rest of the day, you and Ari did exactly as you suggested, you curled up in bed together, watched movies and read your respective books. Ari read the new book you’d gotten him for Christmas while you read the romance book you were currently loving. You were sitting curled up next to Ari, his arm around you as you both read.

” Your book looks interesting” Ari said grabbing your attention. You looked up to see the cheeky grin on his face that told you that he was very aware that the chapter you were reading was a spicy one.

”I’m definitely enjoying it” you admitted candidly.

Ari moved to put his book down before taking the book from you, careful not to lose your place as he looked at the cover, “Burnin’ Up” he read out loud. 

“It's a Romeo and Juliet type romance between a cop and firefighter, she’s the commissioner's daughter and he’s the chief's son, they hooked up before knowing that, though and through miscommunication thanks to a lost sticky note, they end up hating each other” you explained.

Ari hummed as he opened the book to the page you were on “Looks like they like each other quite a bit here” he commented. 

“That’s because they realised that they actually loved each other all this time, but god did it take them ages to get there” you exclaimed making Ari chuckle “so they ended up calling a truce after she found a fatal RTC and they become good friends and he ends up learning more about her childhood and it turns out her dad is an abusive piece of shit but she doesn’t realise that yet and when he tried to point it out it caused an argument because he’s a bit hot headed so didn’t go it in the right way” you continued gesturing wildly with your hands as you did so “but then they both respond to this major apartment building fire and he decides to go be the hero and save a little girl but he’s not got his gloves or respirator and while he’s in there the stairs collapse underneath him and he barely makes it out with the girl. She thinks he died and realises that she loves him and they both admit it to each other in the back of the ambulance”

”wow” Ari muttered, “that is a rollercoaster”

”yep and that not all, while in the hospital he hears her talking to his mom about how terrified she was and asking how to cope and because he decides that he can’t be the one who hurts her he decides that they can’t be together so he breaks up with her” you shake you head at the idiocy of the male character “he’s then miserable and she’s heartbroken and after going on a bit of a personal journey where he faces his own trauma he realises he needs to win her back which he does and this chapter is their first date”

Ari was silent for a moment longer than you expected, so you looked up to see him smiling warmly down at you “What?” You asked. 

“Nothing I just love watching you talk about something you love” 

You blush bashfully, “in another universe, I do wonder whether I could work in the literary industry,” you admitted.

”What’s stopping you in this one?” He asked. 

“Nothing, I love what I do and I’m good at it, if I worked in publishing, I’d never get any work done because I’d be reading instead of working” You shrugged your shoulders “plus, working in PR got me here”

”and I’m very grateful for that, now I think I’m hooked on this book, so why don’t you read the rest out loud?” Ari smirked, passing the book back to you. 

“Really?” You asked, surprised.

Ari nodded, “of course, maybe I can pick up some tips from this firefighter” he winked.

You rolled your eyes at him, “You don’t need any tips” you said with a pointed look.

” No harm in learning more, now c’mon get reading” he smirked, nodding to the book as he got comfy beside you. 

You let out a small huff of a laugh but opened the book anyway picking up where you left of. You only read a couple of words before he interrupted you and took the book back out of your hands.

”you can’t start in the middle of a chapter” he chided playfully as he flipped the pages back to the beginning of the chapter. 

You arched a brow at him as he passed the book back “any more requests? Do you require different voices for the different characters?”

Ari returned your look with one of his own “your voice is perfect now get reading”

you rolled you eyes but did as you were told and started reading out loud from the beginning of the chapter. Ari listened intently beside you, humming occasionally as he reacted to the story. You glanced over at him a couple of times and couldn’t help but grin. Who knew reading a book outloud could be so romantic? Dan was never interested in what you were reading, and here Ari was taking an active interest. You wondered what it would be like if he read outloud to you, his deep voice would be perfect for some of your favourite male characters. 

Your mind started to drift as you picture Ari reading out some of the spicier scenes, leading his voice to the dirty talk that the male characters loved to do. The thought alone was enough to make heat pool at your core, you shifted pressing your thighs together to try and contain yourself. You glanced over at Ari to see if he’d noticed but there was no indication that he did.

soon enough the spicy started to ramp up in the book which was making it even more difficult to focus “ ‘oh you don’t know what you’ve started’ he said with a lopsided grin, rolling me onto my back, propping himself over me with his elbows, his knee moving to push my thighs apart” you read out loud.

Ari hummed beside you, his hand moving to run up and down your thigh teasingly close to where you wanted him. 

As you continued to read you realised that Ari’s motions were beginning to mirror what the firefighter was doing. You glanced over at him, expecting to see his usual charismatic smirk but instead he wore a poker face, making you wonder whether it was his subconscious or if you were imagining it. 

“His hands ran over my sides cupping the underside of my breast” you continued, Ari’s left hand mirroring the action “his thumb brushed over my sensitive peak making me gasp” you continued sucking in a harsh breath when Ari hand slipped under your shirt to copy. 

You swallowed as you continued to read, your voice wobbling with desire when, like the firefighter, Ari began pressing kissing to your neck. You glanced over at him again and saw the smirk he was trying to stop, he definitely knew what he was doing and there was no way in hell you were gonna stop him. 

You nibbled your lower lip as he moved to kneel in front of you, his nimble fingers reaching out to unbutton the pajama shirt you changed into after your shower earlier. Where he could he pressed kisses down your body until he reached your pajama shorts.

”he smirked up at me, his eyes never leaving my as he leant down” you read, watching Ari do the same.

”keep reading” Ari prompted softly.

”as he leant down to press a kiss to my clothes core” you read, whimpering just like the cop as he did so. 

“‘Do you want me to feel just how wet you are?’ His fingers runs over my clothed core” your hips arched as Ari did the same, you couldn’t wait to see where this was going, you had never been so invested in a spicy scene before especially when you saw the next sentence, your gaze lifting to meet Ari’s “ ‘do you want me to fuck you with my tongue?’ “

Ari arched a brow in question as you read outloud the response “ ‘yes, yes to it all’ “ you nodded. 

you continued to read as Ari matched exactly what the firefighter did, pulling down your shorts and diving in like a man starved. You tried to focus on reading but your mind quickly turned to mush but when you stopped reading, Ari stopped too making you whine.

”gotta keep reading otherwise I won’t know what to do” he smirked, a mischievous look in his eyes. 

Your heart raced as you returned you attention back to the book, as soon as you started reading Ari dove straight back in. Just like the cop you could feel sparks of electricity coursing through your body as Ari fucked you with his tongue and circled your clit with his thumb exactly like the firefighter. 

You were amazed that you managed to not drop the book when your orgasm hit and Ari worked you though it. 

“Do they do anything else?” Ari asked once your breathing returned to a somewhat normal level, his beard glistening with your release. 

You quickly scanned the page and a smirk grew on your lips “ ‘You’re far too dressed,’ I stated, pushing his shoulder to flip him over” you read.

Ari’s smirk grew as he glanced down at himself, he was still only wearing boxers and that was far to many clothes “let me fix that now” he said moving to push his boxers down. 

“Wait, not yet, on your back first” you said quickly patting the space next to you in bed. 

Ari chucked and held his hands up in surrender as he moved to lay down beside you, you then moved to straddle his hip, one hand on his abdomen to keep you steady, the other keeping the book open “now you can” you said and just like in the book his erection sprang free and slapped against your ass cheeks. 

“I’m not sure how well I’ll be able to keep reading during this next bit” you admit as you quickly scan ahead. 

“I don’t doubt you one bit” Ari smirked “so keep reading”

you nibble your lip as you did what you were told “he didn’t complain, especially when i repositioned myself, lining my entrance up with him and slowly sinking down onto his erection” you read following the instruction to a tea, earning a moan from Ari in response. 

You continued to read and match your actions to what was happening in the book but the sensation was too good that soon it became impossible to roll your hip, hold the book and read at the same time. Before you knew it the book started to slip from your grip, luckily Ari caught it and picked up where you left off.

”his hands roamed over my body, squeezing my tits and hips, his own thrusting up to meet mine” Ari read, copying each motion to the letter. 

You braced your hands on his shoulder and moaned in response, it was so much hotter to hear the story in his voice, especially when the firefighter spoke “ ‘fuck darlin’ you look so good riding me like this’ he growled” Ari read, the headboard beginning to hit the wall with the ferocity that he moved to meet your thrusts. 

You moaned a whined, digging your nails into his shoulder and you chased your high. It felt like you had ascended into another universe, where it was just you and Ari, the pleasure you were feeling and the deep timbre of his voice surrounding you. 

Right on cue you found your second release which was even better than the first. You didn’t know how Ari did it but he just kept getting better and better. Your body pulsated around Ari as you felt him hit his own peak not long after your. 

You slumped down ontop of him, his arm’s wrapping around your body securely as you pressed kisses to his neck “I think we need to read together more often” you hummed.

Ari’s chest rumbled as he laughed “I love that idea”

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