i command.

“I haven’t heard a ‘please’ yet. Why should I oblige?”

It felt like falling, it felt like freezing. He knew to be wary, he had. But Noctis had wholly believed the defection was real. Looking at his garb, it was obvious Ravus’ loyalties always lay with Tenebrae, and he’d thought that enough to trust. But when Prompto had returned from his escapades with Aranea in Niflheim, it became clear what was true and what wasn’t when those sensitive documents had been returned with one especially damning in the context of this. Noctis collected himself as those very words tolled loudly in his mind, quick and virulent in its approval. He’d been naive. So fucking, damning naive. Even as Niflheim was in shambles he didn’t know who to trust.

Though the boot on his chest was removed, besmirching to Ravus’ very person, the blade was not. Still trained on him even as Noctis lowed the cloud of rage as betrayal and hurt refused to show their ugly faces. He’d wanted to believe that this new leaf turned was genuine. That there had been some kind of realness to their relationship, that reconciliation could’ve been had. Gods, his chest hurt so damn much–

“I trusted you,” he admitted brokenly, voice cracking. How the hell could he? He– No, it wouldn’t be admitted aloud. What they’d become, hell if he knew. But he wouldn’t say it. Not here.

“I let you here with the belief we could repair what had been broken by that invasion. By what we had before between our kingdoms. I had no knowledge of this, Ravus! I just had no fucking idea.” The words slipped venomously from his throat, and he hadn’t wanted to believe it, but it all fit together too perfectly. Everything played out like it had twelve years ago. But, what he’d thought was a repeat operation by a matricidal general became clearer and clearer. Especially for someone who’d resented his kingdom for so long. “Wonder if you planned on stabbing me in the back sooner or later.”

there isn’t a single instant where ravus tries to avoid this; it’s a thing that is a long time coming, and he deserves every single ounce of the venom being spat down at him. he deserves the biting anger, the sword looming dangerously over his throat. in an single moment, the man that hs become ravus’ entire world could be the end of his life. it’s heartbreaking. it’s nearly more than he can bear. but ravus’ entire life has been filled with tragedy that’s been nearly more than he could bear. he’s had practice. 

oh, but he never could have been prepared for this. never. he puts up a strong face, in spite of the pain he feels. he doesn’t close his eyes. he doesn’t look away. he wasn’t lying: since abandoning his post in niflheim for the maddening fire in his chest, he has always intended to let noctis choose his fate. always. 

‘ there was a time, a very long time, where i sought your family harm. i can offer no excuses for that, no reasons. everything leading up to the point of me coming here, i regret. desperately. the things i chose to be a part of, and those i was forced into- i regret it all. there is no reason or excuse i can give you that will change who i was before- before... ’ he has to breathe, but it’s so hard. the lump in his throat is so painful. hot, wet lines trail down his cheeks from the corners of his eyes. ‘ ...before i was brought to my senses. you choose what becomes of me. you’ve always been in control of that. ’

if that choice is the stroke of metal against his flesh, then so be it. it’s no less than what he’s earned, and ravus knows it. 

‘ but- but before you choose, please, i have to say this. since coming here, i have wanted nothing more than to be yours. nothing. what arguments we have had, i regret, gods, i wish i were a person who could have enjoyed the time we had together more peacefully. i would not harm a single hair on your head. i would never betray you. any questions you have, i’ll answer. i’ll tell you anything. ’ 

i love you. 

it’s a sickening sort of feeling, returning to this dynamic after so torturously and slowly convincing himself to trust noctis again. he saw this coming, all those months ago, when he finally dragged himself across gralean frozen wastelands and arid lucian countrysides to abandon his ties to niflheim. he saw this coming. it would be far too kind, for fate to allow him to gain and keep noctis’ trust, after spending an entire adult life vying for vengeance of his own. after spending an entire adult life dreaming absently about murdering someone who once was not only his friend, but lunafreya’s, and stella’s, and- 

he knew, coming here, that the uneasy peace that he and noctis had formed wouldn’t last. he’d resisted growing comfortable with him for as long as he had because he knew this was coming. but noctis had worn him down, in time, only for- this. perhaps it had been planned. maybe to make this hurt all the worse, noctis had wormed his way into ravus’ heart and soul just to make the pain of killing him so much worse.

somehow, ravus has difficulty believing that. he has difficulty believing most negative thoughts about noctis, now, even as the young king looms over him with intent to kill. 

‘ i - ’ / @antimundi.

     ❝Very funny,❞ she quips back, though her tone and expression gave away that she found it quite the opposite. Nevertheless, when his office chair is turned, Nyx finds herself a spot on his lap, curling into him as if she was much smaller, and not the same height as her lover. Her temple rests against his shoulder, a sigh ghosting over his neck as her gaze turns up to his, ❝And I don’t mean to make you nervous. You just are so seldom there when I wake, I get worried. What time did you wake up today? Nightmares still bothering you?❞ // @donotserve​ & continued.

“We’re actually agreeing on something here. Who are you and what have you done with the real Ravus?”

“Yeah, yeah. What, you could sing it better?”

“Des yeux qui font baisser les miens Un rire qui se perd sur sa bouche Voilà le portrait sans retouche De l'homme auquel j'appartiens–”

‘ were the trident a foot longer and you a slight more flexible, i’d say we could make a dragoon out of you in time. ’ he snorts, arms crossed, leaning against the doorframe to one of the long-abandoned training rooms in the insomnian citadel. they’ve remained here, to assist in the rebuilding efforts and recovering from their own, decade’s worth of illnesses and injuries.