holy shit can we be thankful that there are only like, 2 types of phone chargers nowadays? if youre phone died in 2007 you were fuck outta luck

this shit had to be a fuckin fire hazard or something i swear to goddd

they beat jesus with that

me in line to meet pluto

Happy New Year’s [Eve] 2020! We’re entering the decade where Half-Life 2 canonically occurs.

Genuinely insane that George W Bush can go to like, starbucks or whalgreens or whatever without the constant fear that anyone he meets might start ripping at him with their hands and teeth like a baboon as soon as they lock eyes on him

i forgot how hellish pre employment screenings are

they say shit like “I would rat out a poor starving Victorian orphan boy for stealing a slice of bread” and you have to click “strongly agree” or they won’t look at u twice

Bro İ hate being an academic they're making me write shit 😭 İ thought İ was just supposed to sit in an old chair smoke & say something french every now and then 😢

am i having a stroke why are your i's so long i'm

​if spayders cant wak thay wood be rasins

We gazed upon the forbidden beans and were punished for it.

i went through an entire character arc during quarantine

i became more evil if you’re curious

I love both of them.

When he starts SCREAMING the gummy bear song in German I dIED