Brutal
They posed together like that for _hours_
she laughed that long
Not today Justin

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Brutal
They posed together like that for _hours_
she laughed that long

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barnyard the original party animals is the uncontested lord of bad implications in childrens movies
ok so like âthe secret life of xâ movies tend to not strongly explore the actual reasons why, exactly, their life has to be secret⌠they donât really focus on it within the narrative. They do usually have some small justification for why animals or video games or toys or whatever have never just revealed themselves:
Thereâs no stated reason. They just pretend to not be alive. We usually can suspend our suspension of disbelief here because when itâs something like a video game or an emoji because any odd occurrences is perceived as a glitch or something similar but the actual reason why they arenât too hung up on this kinda shitty lot in life isnât said
They get something out of their current relationship with humans (like in toy story)
They have some specific reason to hide that theyâre alive, like they die if theyâre seen (like in the christmas toy)
They perceive themselves as sentient, talking creatures, but humans canât understand them. They just see a squeaking mouse or an inanimate hot dog or whatever.Â
and the last one is what most animal movies do, and itâs like, not devoid of weird implications but you can see where it mostly works.
but barnyard is the outlier here: it goes with tier one: the animals can talk and walk on two legs but just pretend that they canât for unstated reasons.Â
in the history of the barnyard world non human animals, at some point, decided to just pretend to be unable to speak. a âcowâ or a âcoyoteâ or a âhenâ do not exist as we know it in the barnyard universe. the baa of the sheep is false; the ewe doesnât understand it either. they only made up that noise to hide the fact that they speak human languages. a dog barking and running on all fours is a facade. animals naturally walk on their hind legs and made up whole postures just to appear non sentient.
and for what? what do they gain from this? they have no rights and no voice by their own choice. at one point a donkey claims the farmer is a good person because heâs vegan and a pig mentions bacon - this is not a fantasy universe devoid of death and misery and meat. do animals, in hushed whispers, remind their children not to sob in their real voice as theyâre taken away? do the dogs not beg for kindness when theyâre tied up and hit? do cows and chickens not cry for their life in the slaughterhouses? does a rat not scream a human scream when the trap misses their neck and only breaks their spine? Why? what is the point? They loose so much and have everything to gain.
anyways does everyone remember this really awful cat. it only appears in one scene but i can just sense the porn of it that would pop up if i googled itâs name
This post is like being tied to a chair as a a joker-style villain monologues and presses a gun closer and closer to my head as he reaches the climax of his rehearsed piece on the flaws of society and when he finally pulls the trigger itâs a little flag that says âbang!â
itâs so funny how iroh is always just like âoh donât look at me I am but a stupid old manâ and if anyone is like âum... no...... youâre the Dragon of the Westâ heâs like âwhat? that was , like, ages ago. six years ago, even. Iâm stupid now. my brains turned to mush!â and then they just believe him and completely let their guard down. I love it
do you support the war in vietnam?
maâam this is a John Lennon/Paul McCartney erotica blog
and SCENE! that was my impersonation of what i think tumblr would be like in the late 1960âs. just to clarify this is a joke. this isnât real. there is no beatles erotica here. itâs a bit. itâs a joke
this post is a failure because I was completely willing to accept both John/Paul fanblog and people demanding political positions on the Vietnam War in 2020 without question

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i donât spend a lot of time on this wretched website anymore bc every time i open the app it freezes for like a minute every couple posts and i donât have that kind of patience
perhaps this is a blessing
i am on another plane right now and this video has me convinced that I reached nirvana for a few seconds
the first time i watched this video i was stoned out of my motherfucking MIND and i watched it on loop for 25 minutes
this is the only fucking post on this entire fucking site
I have been trying to find this video for likeâŚa whole year
fucking lol
this is so fucking funny they just took yandere simulator and remade it from the ground up but better in basically every way and it only took two weeks and $0
a yandere simulator remake was finished before yandere simulator
masterpost of spongebob moments that dealt psionic damage to my 7 year old self (absolutely non-comprehensive)
When I blow SALM a kiss he acts like the kiss was something ballistic and does full body slow-motion miming of being struck, usually a headshot or through the neck, crumpling to his death as blood spurts dramatically from his neckvein or brainmatter out his skull

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a mother piping plover on massachusettsâs plum island plumps her feathers to provide warmth and protection to an increasing plurality of her chicks, giving new meaning to the phrase âa bird in the bosomâ. photo by michael milicia
*arriving at the club*
my girlfriend: do you promise you wont turn into an inaccurate 1800s reconstruction of iguanodon this time
me: i promise
me 3 drinks later:
[id: an inaccurate 1800s reconstruction of iguanodon]
itâs honestly so toxic to leave a desirable object under a box propped up by a stick
Did something happen, op?
no
consider this: wheelchairs should be free
Consider this: if you need it to live it should be affordable
consider this: if you need it to live, it should be free

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one time this nondescript guy came into my dunkin donuts and ordered a small black coffee with blueberry flavor shot, and for some reason that peculiar order stuck with me so much that when, seven months later, i saw him in the parking lot walking towards the door, i quickly made a small black coffee with blueberry flavor shot. he ordered it and i was already holding it.Â
i would describe his demeanor that second time as âincredulousâ
What the fuck who drinks that
itâs such a perfectly bonkers order because like, most unusual orders are maximalist and sugary but this one just combines the most basic drink with the most incongruous little add-on. itâs the order of a simple, regular man who has something wrong with him
When I was little I wanted to be Italian REALLT badly bc I loved the movie cars and specifically had a crush on this fucking THING
Which doesnât speak English at all, all itâs line are in Italian and itâs name is GUIDO. And everyone knew I was obsessed with Italy in elementary school but they didnât know why bc I, even as a young autistic child, had the sense to know this was a rightfully so, highly mockable thing. So I would read about cars on IMDB and then one day someone posted a crackfic on the message boards there and it was about this guy getting drunk and beating his wife, and it snapped me out of my fugue long enough to realize how absurd wanting to be Italian was, but then it made me cry really hard and my parents were like âhey what the fuckâ and I didnât have the chutzpah to admit anything so I told them I saw a naked lady online and then they went into the computer and found all the weird south park midi songs I downloaded on lime wire and I thought they were literally going to kill me for about two weeks.
The reason I was downloading South Park episodes and songs on limewire and frostwire was because I was also obsessed with Kenny McCormick and for school we had to make a shitty little website about a world issue, so I found this free platform that doesnât exist anymore but it was like a horrible little wix site from the mid aughts, and we based my groups theme on global warming. But when we were done with it I repurposed it as a perosnal site and lied about being a voluptuous blonde 19 year old woman who worked at a fictitious restaurant called the lunchbox, and I just wrote about how obsessed I was with Kenny McCormick and my sister found it and was like what the fuck is wrong with you. But she never told my parents. She also found this 80 page story I was writing about buddy the elf and all my weird skater ocs breaking into the moulin rouge, and at one point I was sick of buddy so I had a herd of buffalo trample him in the middle of a city and it was very tragic but jarring and unexpected. And she referenced a part of the story to me and it made me SO fucking paranoid that I wiped our entire, family shared packard bell computer and got in huge fucking trouble for it.