im like scott pilgrim if he was nonbinarey

YOU don’t have to be perfect to be loved. but I do

i hate getting blackout drunk bc i talk to too many strangers and like make plans and promises i don't wanna follow up on. this morning i got up super hungover and made a fried egg bagel & as soon as i took the first bite a stats menu briefly manifested into existence over my head and OATHBREAKER appeared after my name 😭😭😭 what could that even mean

ocean.com/fish

ocean.com/fish/careers

ocean.com/fish/careers/marine-biologist/benefits

Has anyone noticed the fart queens are trying to mainstream their fetish

Really scared reading these words in this order. I am moving to the woods

In American culture it is considered “bad luck” to leave the stove on when you’re not using it

they want you to make fried rice

who is "they"

the wok left

how am I supposed to make fried rice if the wok left

skillet issue

im off twelve steven universe percocet, i’m fumbling bisexual bitches left and right. i don’t give a shit. i had to smoke the grass i was too busy touching your waifu’s balls. I have precambrian sea kin memories i swim in Trilobite pussy. Puffed the Nagito pack so hard they’re flying pride flags half mast. this shit ain’t nothing to me man. Refer back to my bio motherfucker, check the pronouns you’ll see that I am him