Good Boy™

*unprompted during a first date* Its interesting don’t you think? Purity’s value lies in its potential defilement

Gotta make em laugh so they forget you ugly

sometimes artists worry if their art is actually capable of making the world a better place, or if its all just wasted effort. what you need to remember is: all art is evil, and the sole aspiration of the artist should be to maim as many onlookers as possible.

I work cybersecurity, this is like half my job.

the whole vaccine deal tbh

antidepressants

Yes these are all the work of wizards

What if silence is in fact a sound, but because its a universal sound we just adapted to it and dont notice it anymore

sometimes when my mom gets drunk she goes into Liberated Women Mode, and one time she was real tipsy and while talking about her friend’s divorce, she very earnestly told me and my sister (both adults) that regardless of preference or relationship, she hoped we would both reach a point in our lives where we were having really good sex with really good people. and my sister said, “i do that now except the good people part” and i said, “sex is real?” and my mom didn’t love either of those answers

ur mom sounds hot is she single

my mom is in fact single, and if you are so determined then it’s not my fault when you find out why

It’s important to occasionally be a horny pervert on main so your mutuals know it’s okay to be a horny pervert with you

kind of weird how parts of your soul are left in various locations without any warning… like yes i’m always at the top of that hill, sitting at the bus stop, in the cool light of the Japanese restaurant, standing at the pier etc etc