lydia(:

'crawling back to you, ever thought of calling when you've had a few, cause i always do.'

cw: alcohol consumption, happy ending yay!

part 1 // part 2

chan's head lolled against the back of the booth he was sat in, heavy with a drunken haze. he couldn't remember how many he had had at this point, probably not many considering he never usually drinks. but felix had thought it would be a good idea to go out to celebrate the release of their new comeback, and the rest of the boys were easily convinced. chan decided it was better to be out and depressed than at home, alone and depressed.

it had been a few weeks since his argument with you, such a stupid argument, and it had been the only thing he could think of recently. any song he tried to finish reminded him of you, any food he ate didn't compare to your cooking, even this stupid vodka redbull he was drinking now made him think of how you always stocked juneberry redbulls in the mini fridge at his studio. all those late nights you stayed with him, and the early mornings where you basically had to drag him through the front door. nothing but memories of you flooded his brain.

he lifted his head from its reclined back position, regretting it immediately as dizziness flooded him, and turned to hyunjin who was sat next to him.

'maybe i should call her,' he said, or at least tried to say; speaking was hard when mixed with vodka. hyunjin looked at him with something akin to pity. jisung, however, who was sat on the other side of chan, immediately perked up.

'yes hyung, please call her. i don't think i can handle being a child of divorce any longer.' jisung said, draping himself along chan's lap dramatically.

'maybe you shouldn't, channie, not when you're drunk anyway,' hyunjin chimed in. chan felt like he had a little angel and devil on his shoulders, like in the cartoons, but he couldn't tell who was who.

'do you think she's moved on?' he asked, leaning his head back against the booth again. jisung had removed his body from chan's lap and instead opted for leaning his head on his shoulder.

'yes, absolutely,' seungmin chimed in sarcastically from across the booth.

'seungmin you're so rude,' jisung whined.

'he's asking stupid questions, what am i supposed to do?'

'she has not moved on, i assure you.' hyunjin comforted, putting his hand on chan's free shoulder.

'so i should call her?'

'yes!'

'no, wait until the morning.'

'she hates you and she doesn't want you to call her.'

you can easily guessed who said what.

'you're all confusing me. i need air,' chan replied, rubbing his temples and pushing his way towards the exit.

chan had been outside a good 15 minutes now. he had found a comfy spot on the wall, but at this point the chill of the night air had started getting to him.

he was going to call you. he had made his mind up.

he pulled his phone out, scrolling through his contacts until he found yours, thumb hovering over the call button.

should he call you?

'ahh, fuck it,' he said, tapping the button.

the phone rang, and rang... and rang, until finally,

'hello?' your voice was thick with sleep, a couple octaves deeper than usual. shit, he woke you up, you hate being woken up.

'chan?' your voice came through the phone once more.

'yeah, hi.' he finally said, a smile pulling on his face at the sound of your voice. he hoped you wouldn't notice he was drunk.

'are you drunk?'

oh well.

'yes, maybe, a bit. but, look, i was stupid. i am stupid. so so stupid. i shouldn't have said all the things i said because you didn't deserve it. you were so good to me. you are so good. and i miss you, and i love you, and i need you back. i can't do anything without thinking of you. i said i didn't have time for a relationship, but i was so wrong to even think that, let alone say it to you. shit, if you asked me to i'd quit music without a thought. you are so important to me and i should have never let you walk out that door. i'm so sorry, please forgive me. i would be on my knees but i'm sat on the wall of an alley outside the bar and i don't know how clean the floor is.'

there was silence on the other end of the line, a silence that ran too long for chan's liking.

'are- are you still there?'

'yes, i'm still here.'

'and...'

'i think tomorrow, in the afternoon probably, when you've had time to get over your inevitable hangover, you should come over and say all that again to my face.'

'i don't think i'll remember what i said word for word, but i'll give it a go,' he replied, chuckling.

'i think anything along the lines of, i'm sorry, will do.'

'does this mean you forgive me?' he asked hopefully.

'i guess so, but you have lots of grovelling to do going forward.'

'i can grovel.'

'i'll see you tomorrow chan, don't forget.'

'never, bye baby.'

'bye,' and the call ended.

chan rushed back inside the bar, finding the boys still sat at the same booth.

'we're back together,' he announced, probably a little too dramatically. the boys all turned to him happily.

'yes, mum and dad!' jisung cheered.

'shocker.'

'that's great hyung, very happy for you,' felix said, smacking chan on the back.

'thanks guys.'

on the other side of the city was your apartment, where you were currently kicking your feet and squealing with delight.

'i heard an unhappy ending, it sorta sounds like you leaving...'

tw: arguments, slightlymean!chan, no happy ending

part 1 // part 2

you loved chan, that you couldn't deny, but nights like these truly tested how far your love could stretch.

it started as it always does; chan cancelling yet another date night - his work at the studio always seemed more important. but then he had nominated you to be his personal errand runner.

"baby, would you please get some coffee for me?" or "would you mind grabbing my notebook from the dorm?"

it was now 10pm and instead of feeling satisfied after a fun evening of being wined and dined, you just felt exhausted, your feet aching after running up and down for chan.

"chan, i think i'm gonna go home now, i'm feeling pretty tired," you said, slowly getting up off the sofa behind him and grabbing your bag.

"oh, would you just mind -" he started, swivelling in his chair to face you, but your mind, fogged with tiredness, quickly became irritated by yet another one of his requests.

"yes, chan, i would mind." you cut him off, an exhausted sigh following your words. "i've been running around after you all night, and i came here straight from work, where i was running around for everyone else. i was hoping tonight would be romantic, or even just relaxing, but no, all i've got from you tonight is blisters on the back of my ankles, so please, if you want anything, get it yourself." your hands had been flying around animatedly through your rant, and you were yet to notice chan's increasingly annoyed expression on his face.

"if i had time to do all these things, then i would have done, but i've been swamped with work for the comeback. do you honestly think i'd rather be in here than out in a nice restaurant with you? things like this really remind me you have no idea what it's like to have a demanding job."

one thing you loved about chan was he never raised his voice at you during an argument. his tone of voice, however, was another problem. he always managed to speak to you like a disappointed parent who'd just caught their child smoking out the window.

"we are not about to play job wars right now chan, i'm tired and i want to go home."

"you always do this, you start arguments and then you never finish them. it's like you do it on purpose just to try get a rise out of me or, or make me look like a bad person!"

"are you joking? i wasn't trying to start an argument. look, i'm sorry if i spoke to you rudely, but i really have no patience left, and i most definitely do not have the energy to argue with you." by this point, you had sat back down on the sofa again, knowing that you were going to be here for at least another hour.

"i don't care for your apologies, i just want you to stop fighting with me, especially when you know i'm so busy at the moment. i really don't need you nagging at me all the time?"

"nagging?! i can promise you, i am not the one that's been nagging tonight."

"what is that supposed to mean." chan stood up, pacing across the studio, as he always did when he was stressed out.

"it means that i have been at this studio for a good four hours, and of those four hours i have done at least fifteen different things for you, to make your life easier. i haven't even had dinner for crying out loud!"

"if you really wanted to make my life easier, you could do me a favour and just leave." he had stopped in front of you, looking down at you with an expression you couldn't recognise.

"leave the studio, or leave this relationship?"

your words shocked chan, you could tell by the way he struggled to find a response to your question. but his lack of an answer told you everything you needed to know.

"maybe both." he finally replied, sitting back down on his chair in resignation. "i love you, but i don't think i have the time for a relationship now."

tears welled in your eyes. three years of relationship gone, just like that.

"wow, okay." you said, blinking back the tears and standing from the sofa. you walked towards the door, hesitating when you touched the handle. waiting, hoping, that he would take those words back. but he never did, so you left.

chan sighed, dragging his hand over his face. the reality of his words settled in his chest like an infection, squeezing his heart in its grasp. god did he want to go five hours to the past and just go on the date with you, or even let you sit in his studio without giving you all those menial tasks, but he couldn't. it was over.