5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and

you might be entitled to financial compensation if he or a loved one dies

I love how on Grey’s, Meredith, Amelia and Maggie all just refer to each other as “sisters”. No “half-sister”, no “sister-in-law”, they’re all just sisters.

do you love the colour of the sky

delete this

Good point

I was waiting for Howie Mandel to come up.

oh cool so it’s friday the 13th today, and next friday is 4/20…wild

Children born within the last few years are growing up already used to the sounds of their own voices due to access of smart phones/tablets. They will not experience the shock and hate most of us had after first hearing our recorded voice for the first time.

it’s march and like, you know what? that’s fucked up. literally, it was march this time last year too, and what’s up with that? like, a year has passed since it was last march, what the fuck ?

Friendly reminder to check you’re not holding tension in your body. Let your shoulders drop, unclench your hands and jaw. Take a deep breath. Much better.

Jupiter: YEET

Back at my old college there was a student lounge place I affectionately had dubbed “the weirdo lounge” because all the weirdos congregated there. You know those nerds who sit there and all they do is talk about anime, like those reddit pages, wear fedoras and shit? That kinda weirdos. So anyway the tragedy is that the Weirdo Lounge had THE BEST one person couch. It had a little laptop table attached and it was so damn comfy. Plus, it was always somewhat dark in there because of how the windows was positioned. So I’d go there to nap during my break periods. So one day I was napping when someone threw an empty plastic bottle at me and I snapped awake. A white nerdy girl from a few couches down said “I’m so sorry that was intended for my puppy to fetch!” and I’m like “DOGS?!” and I snap awake, that’s when I looked towards my foot and saw a whiteman. Sitting there. Like a dog. With his tongue out. and then he fucking barked. I was so infuriated but I handed him the bottle and he put that shit on the floor and then picked it up with his mouth. And then on all fours, ran over to the white girl and dropped it in her lap. I was so fucking upset.

This whole post is gold, but for me the best part is “whiteman” being all one word.

ok so I got added to this facebook group where people post bad pictures they’ve taken of boats and do you wanna see maybe the funniest thing i’ve ever seen

are you fucking kidding me