Hi Bi!

Geordie Shore star Marnie Simpson is this month’s DIVA cover star. 

In the exclusive interview, her first with an LGBT publication since coming out as bisexual last month, the 24-year-old talks about not being taken seriously as a bi woman, and having her sexuality dismissed as “attention seeking” by those closest to her. 

Bi in a same-sex relationship: statistically rare?

“I'm a bisexual in a lesbian relationship and was totally shocked to read how rare that is,” writes Lea Rose Emery in an article for Bustle recently.  "According to Kristina Marusic at Slate: ‘The massive 2013 Pew Research LGBT Survey found 84 percent of self-identified bisexuals in committed relationships have a partner of the opposite sex, while only nine percent are in same-sex relationships.’ Which made me go: Really? Really? I'm not arguing with the numbers, I'm just surprised the numbers are so... split. I assumed that, just based on how many people identify as straight, you would find the majority of bisexuals in straight relationships, but with a whopping 84 percent of them — it just seems too big of a percentage to be just that. So why?”

She continues, examining the figures with the help of several researcher type people and coming up with various explanations.  (Read the article, it’s really interesting what they suggest.) The one they seem to have missed out, though, is the number of behaviourally bisexual women who call themselves lesbians, for various reasons. Some of us do it because our definition of lesbian is “in a relationship with a woman”, or because our partner feels threatened if we call ourselves bisexual, or because while we know we can be attracted to men we have no intention of acting on it for one reason or another, or because of the isolating biphobia we’d experience from our community/friendship group which would affect us as individuals and our relationships... So many reasons. Anyway, if women in this category had answered the survey as bisexual rather than lesbian, there’d be a lot more bisexuals showing up as being in same-sex relationships.

IN THE SHOPS: THE SEX ISSUE

Chock full of good stuff including our response to the latest round of TV lesbian deaths on The 100, The Walking Dead, The Vampire Diaries and Empire (#BuryTropesNotUs), plus Sharon D Clarke plays bisexual blues singer Ma Rainey on stage, non-binary trans parent Jack Monroe on deadnaming, we review Maggie Nelson’s amazing new book The Argonauts, queer menstrual activist Kiran Gandhi talks about free-bleeding and feminism, lesbian and bi intersex activists on the fight for acceptance, and a ton of other features, reviews, interviews and comment.

Anna Richardson: “Biphobia is an absurd prejudice”

TV presenter Anna Richardson slams biphobia in the latest issue of DIVA magazine, on sale now. Anna, who ended an 18-year relationship with a man before meeting her current partner, the Great British Bake Off presenter Sue Perkins, explains why she rejects sexual identity labels and discusses coming out to her friends and family, and her struggles with depression and body image.

Elsewhere in the mag, Charlotte Dingle unravels the bi/pan debate that is dividing our communities, we meet Alexa Davies of Channel 4′s Raised By Wolves, explore the myth of “reverse racism” with columnist Jay Bernard, hear from the disabled women who are challenging society’s stereotypes and look at the latest wedding trends + much more.

DIVA magazine is one of the most successful titles in LGBT media, delivering intelligent and innovative editorial content to its lesbian and bisexual readers for over two decades.

Our various media platforms provide comment, news, politics, humour, reviews, information, scene coverage and entertainment to keep readers informed about all things lesbian and bi. All our platforms play a role in serving our diverse queer women's communities and we are particularly keen to develop closer ties with our readers through greater use of interactive features and social media.

We're seeking an Editorial Assistant, with exemplary writing and organisational skills to work with the DIVA team in the daily running of the website and magazine, digital and social media platforms, in order to stimulate discussion and debate online and produce a range of content for the magazine in both its print and digital formats.

You will have unparalleled research and writing skills and a proven understanding of the DIVA readers' social media and online communities. You'll understand what makes a great story, photograph and video content for all our digital platforms. You'll have consummate verbal communication skills and due to the diverse aspects of this role, you'll be able to juggle a range of tasks.

You'll have a passionate interest in inclusive lesbian and bi (cis and trans) culture that celebrates our community's full diversity and be well acquainted with the ever-evolving scene. You'll have a keen understanding of the DIVA brand.

The salary for this role is £19K pro-rata and the post is three days weekly, based in north London.

Please send your CV, a covering letter outlining briefly what you think makes you the right candidate for the job, a sample photograph and mpeg/mp4 file, and a 500 word blog on a topic you feel is relevant for the DIVA website, to Jane Czyzselska at [email protected].

OUT NOW: THE MARCH ISSUE OF DIVA MAGAZINE IS VERGING ON THE BI-TASTIC

American Horror Story’s Sarah Paulson (dating interests: people and sheep), bi activist Charlotte Dingle on befriending her school bully, bi trans women Freiya Benson on using photography to reclaim her body and Charlotte Cooper on making room for difference in lesbian communities. 

Plus Kaitlyn Alexander of Couple-ish and Carmilla, the delights of Tello TV, being queer and autistic, finding LGBT lives in museums, transparenting, the highlights of this year’s BFI Flare LGBT film festival and much, much, much more.

Get it while it’s hot! 

www.divadigital.co.uk

BISEXUALITY IS NOT JUST A PHASE, SAYS CHILDLINE

ChildLine is one of the UK’s best-known resources for children and young people, so it’s great to see the organisation addressing gender and sexual orientation in a series of short videos to coincide with LGBT History Month. 

Here at HiBi  we are naturally super stoked to see there’s one about bisexuality – no more silent B, hey? Twitter phenom Holly Brockwell, the geek girl behind Gadgette, the UK’s biggest tech site for women, shares her experiences and opinions with series host Amy. You’ll probably identify with a lot of what they have to say.

Check out more videos in the series here.

YOUTUBESDAY: AVA GORDY ON SEXUALITY

“I don’t want a label, I just don’t think it’s necessary.”

Gorgeous YouTuber and comedian Ava Gordy makes videos on a bunch of topics; from selfies to banana peels to gory stories about septum piercing fails, she manages to make pretty much anything hilarious.

She doesn’t talk that much about her sexuality (though TheNotAdam chats to her about it in this video) but a couple of years ago she uploaded a video rant to YouTube. (See above.) It’s a little old but to many it may still ring true. 

Ava says she likes both men and women, that before falling in love with the man she is in love with when filming this video she could have fallen in love with anybody. But she doesn’t want to put a label on her sexuality. 

I feel that this is something I hear from many people who may, or may not, fall under the “bisexual” umbrella - so do we need the term bisexual? Not all of us want to label our sexuality, so should we have to?

Do you struggle with labels? Do we have to categorise our sexuality? Are labels necessary? What do you think?

Let us know on Twitter/Facebook/Tumblr/however you like.

Lots of love,

MORE THAN FRIENDS?

Is she flirting? Is she not? What is this thing that I’m feeling? 

Life is full of twists and turns and it can be tough when you’re questioning your sexuality and mixed messages are flying around like a tornado inside your head.

YOUTUBESDAY: MISS FENDER - DATING A BISEXUAL

Alaynaa a.k.a. Miss Fenderr gets to the bottom of bisexuality and what it is like to date a bisexual. It is, frankly, amazing and YOU SHOULD WATCH IT NOW. It will make you laugh. 

On a more serious note you should also check out Alaynaa’s coming out video below. It is super adorable and lovely and wonderful and one that I can very much relate to. Maybe you will feel the same. 

Love,

13 things you should know before dating a bi girl

DIVA contributor  and Biscuit ed Charlotte Dingle wrote this educational listicle for Cosmopolitan magazine’s website - read the whole thing here. 

Thanks for making this point in particular, Charlotte:

5. We don't need a girlfriend on the side. And one of the most offensive things you can do is to suggest that we're free to get it on with other women because "it doesn't count as cheating" and other women aren't a "threat". That's wrong on so many levels. How sexist is it to suggest that only sex with a man counts as "real" sex?! Being bi usually means having the capacity to both love and feel sexual desire for more than one gender. I've loved women deeply and to suggest that me seeing a woman on the side when I'm with a man "doesn't count" is to completely devalue and dismiss that love. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR, BI FOLKS!

Just a heads up that UK readers still have a couple of weeks to get their mitts on the January 2016 issue of DIVA magazine, which includes a great interview with the hilarious and inspiring Margaret Cho as well as articles about out lesbian, bi and trans women in politics around the world, and the damaging effects of bisexual commodification on bi women.  You can find DIVA on the newsstand (including most branches of WHSmith and some supermarkets) or buy your copy at www.divadirect.co.uk. (We ship internationally too.) If you like to read magazines digitally, visit www.divadigital.co.uk to download your DIVA!

YOUTUBESDAY: LESBIAN FIRST DATE (WITH SONG)

Where do stereotypes end and cultural in-jokes begin? Sometimes it’s a close run thing, as this week’s video demonstrates. Written by Kristin Key, Scout Durwood, and Romi Barta, this tale of a doomed first date was the first lesbian-themed sketch ever performed on (America’s) CBS Diversity Showcase, in 2014. Many “lesbian subcultural cliche” boxes are checked – second date UHauls, staying close with your exes, cats, drama and, uh, biphobia. All accompanied by a very jaunty tune. I thought twice about posting this on HiBi, because I’m in two minds about it myself. It made me laugh. It replays a bunch of truths I recognise (and don’t believe are actually pathological - what’s wrong with loving cats or staying friends with your exes?). And I think the ending takes the biphobic sting away.

But does it play lesbian biphobia for laughs? 

BIG BI SHOUT OUT TO... MADAME DOLLAR

One of the fantastic things about working at DIVA HQ is the never-ending stream of talented queer women we get to hear about. Right now, for instance, I’m editing a brilliant, thought-provoking article written for DIVA by Izzy Rabey, a young bi writer/performer from Wales, which will appear in the February issue of the magazine (mark your diaries for 28 January).

In it she talks about all kinds of amazing and interesting stuff (keeping spoilers to a minimum here!), including her alter ego, Welsh LGBT rapper Madame Dollar, “the shell-suit-wearing spirit animal of my own imagination... amusing yet angry, familiar and yet alien... a way of indulging my teenage dream of owning a brightly-coloured, metallic shell-suit (in the colours of the Bi Pride flag), worn with mustard heart-shaped sunglasses in public and with purpose.”

To hear Madame Dollar rap about subjects like the struggles of Welsh sheep farmers, cat-calling, and championing Wales’s cultural heritage over its capitalist viability (yes, for reals), visit Izzy’s Soundcloud. London-dwellers can catch her next gig on 4 February at Scratch That Hackney. She’s pretty fun on Twitter too.

So there you go - my first Big Bi Shout Out. Want to write one? Know someone who should get one? Email [email protected].

YOUTUBESDAY: HOW DO YOU DATE A BI GIRL?

You may know Gaby Dunn and Allison Raskin from Buzzfeed but they also have their own YouTube channel, called Just Between Us. Which is a confusing name for a web series because what they say doesn’t just stay between them but is broadcast to the world. 

Anyway, in this episode they get a question from a reader asking how you date a bi girl. Gaby is bisexual so she answers it.

Is bisexuality confusing?

Not really, says Kate Harrad, one of the editors behind Purple Prose:B Bisexuality In Britain, a new book about bisexuality due to be published next autumn.

In an article for divamag.co.uk, Harrad dispels some of the pervasive and unhelpful myths about bisexual people and points out that nobody’s orientation is entirely straightforward, whatever label they adopt. Read the full story here.

As for her forthcoming book, we reckon it will be a crucial contribution to the discussion about bi identities and lifestyles. 

YOUTUBESDAY: I’M BISEXUAL, BUT I’M NOT...

Oh Buzzfeed, how we love you. 

It’s Tuesday and that means that you’re in for another bi video in our YouTubesday slot - run by yours truly; Bella Qvist. This week I’ve picked a new Buzzfeed Yellow video which talks about the many things bisexuals are and are not.