hi i read your abuse is not kink thing and i just wanted to ask your thoughts on death feederism. is that intent abusive? or like, can it be predatory? does it just get weird amounts of social media attention for something thats uncommon? i dont know where or who to ask these questions, but your online visibility makes you a safe bet. ^^;
I am probably not the best person to explain death feedism because I am not a death feedist, nor am I a feedee, but I know some people who are, so I'll give it a shot. If you're new here, you should read this first or else you're gonna shit your pants.
In short, death feedism is the concept of pursuing weight gain until the end. most folks who identify as death feedists enjoy the fantasy of the extreme, but actually have limits and are constantly checking in with themselves, with their healthcare providers, and re-assessing how they're feeling in their bodies outside of the bedroom. I would agree that it gets the most amount of social media attention because it is the most shocking subsection of our community to the general public, and it is a smaller subsection.
not every death feedee has a feeder, and if they do, the dynamic is not automatically abusive. assuming that a feeder must be manipulating their feedee into lifestyle because 'who in their right mind would ever want to get fatter?' is 1. anti-fat and 2. removes agency from the feedee. however, fat people may be more likely to experience objectification and abuse from sexual predators because of anti-fatness. Itās a problem that we are all combating together - a horrifying combination of rape culture and anti-fatness, which is why it is crucial that weāre putting in the work to organize, educate, set standards, and fight for fat liberation within the feedism community.
for some folks, death feedism includes risk/health play, which reclaims fatphobic tropes of living on the edge by 'eating oneself to death,' which, we could get into a debate about whether or not that's something that is actually happening, but I am less interested in discussing that than I am in discussing the concept of pursuing autonomy in the face of death.
If you are horrified by the idea of feedees intentionally gaining enough weight that it starts to encroach on their mobility or physical health (health here including societal risk of receiving poorer healthcare, accessibility, and other general privileges) - you are missing the most crucial aspect of feedism, and that is personal fulfillment and emotional wellbeing. feedism gets compared to an eating disorder all the time, but there is a clear difference here between a choice someone is actively making for their own happiness and something that is compulsive and causing them distress. are there situations where someone could be compulsively engaging in this kink and it is causing them distress? absolutely, and they should seek help in that instance, but that is an issue and not at all a requisite of feedism. almost everyone I have spoken to in the feedist community describes their identity as more than their sexuality. It's a core part of their being that is so intrinsic to who they are as a person and how they navigate the world. It is an orientation, a philosophy, and an all-encompassing identity for lots of us.
every feedist has a different relationship to the concept of never-ending growth. again, this is a fetish, and the growth/transformation aspect is (mostly) what it's all about. for me and many others, it's a fun fantasy, but we draw our limits at the real-world consequences of it. everyone has different individual limits that are acceptable for them. this is where risk-aware-consensual-kink (RACK) comes in. RACK is a framework created by the BDSM community that acknowledges the thrilling, boundary-pushing nature of kink while centering informed, enthusiastic, and ongoing consent. unlike the idea that kink is āsafe, sane, and consensualā (which can exclude neurodiverse, disabled, and taboo or non-normative players),Ā RACK embraces the complexity and agency of adults who choose to engage in intense play with full awareness of the potential risks. (definition by desiredunchained.com) FFL has a RACK tool for the feedism community you can access here.
It's okay that this concept is strange, outlandish, and confusing to you, dear reader. you do not have to understand this to respect it. feedists are fringe weirdos, and we like it that way. as another example of radical bodily autonomy, there is a separate community of folks out there who experience extreme dysphoria about certain limbs on their body, and undergoing an amputation literally improves their mental and emotional wellbeing. this is not something that society has pressured them to do, in fact, their desire is seen as extremely unacceptable, which is why if it feels crucial enough for them to overcome the incredibly difficult barriers to access it, pursuing it is actually life-affirming for them, rather than detrimental. I often point to being transgender as a (somewhat) similar example because it's something that my audience can wrap their heads around more easily. If you can accept that a trans person feels so strongly that they need to be themself, even if being themself puts them at risk of violence, discrimination, and even death, hopefully you can apply that acceptance to feedees who feel strongly that they need to be themselves, even if it puts their physical health at risk. for very certain people, there is no risk that could outweigh the reward. that is their choice to do with their body what they damn well please. your fulfillment and safety is your own unique balancing act to figure out. any one of us could die tomorrow. standing up for the freaks means standing up for the freakiest freaks.
