I sat behind the same girl in class all year and I was painfully jealous of her beautiful curly hair and I assumed she had just figured out some hair routine I didn't know, or had more time in the mornings than me, or was somehow more disciplined or just lucky. And then my friend talked to her one day and found out she gets 500$ perms and highlights 3 times a year. The answer was literally just money. The same friend found out that most of our classmates who I thought were just naturally smarter than me went to private highschools that cost 25k a year.
This is all a metaphor to say that there will be times when you feel like other people understand something that you don't, or have some ability that you don't, or are better than you in some way because they've accomplished something you can't. And it's going to turn out that they're just rich and they spent thousands of dollars to make that happen. You are not bad, you are not broken, the system is just fucked.
