Would You Die Tonight For Love?

@disheveleddarkness

Selective Kylo Ren by Morzan. Tolkien Sideblogs: Mairon {maleficradiance}; Maeglin {princeofmoles} Writer is 30+

7,067 posts

naboosrulingsenator

Padmé Amidala

Queen, Senator, Wife and Mother

New to the fandom, not new to roleplay | Played by Laura, mun is 34 so minors do not disturb please. Blog established March 2025. Timezone = central

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"legacy of vader" comic: huxs meme compilation

I haven't been over here in a while! I need to watch The Force Awakens again. I do miss Kylo and the talented people over here. <3

"Pin-up? Not today"

Sorry, Hux is very busy. All hope for Kylo.

did someone say soft kylux

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you gotta be as gay as possible on the computer otherwise alan turing died for nothing

You wrote about murder?? Murder is illegal?? You wrote about this dude killing someone and you didn’t even say ‘murder is bad’ at the start of the book, wht wtf, wtf is wrong with you? I can’t believe you condone murder, I can’t believe you’re pro murber, oh my fucking God don'ttalk to me when ou literally kill people, freak. I’m calling the cops, what the fuck, I’m shaking and crying.

$fractured-spine blog's avatar$

fractured-spine

Hux: I want to hear those three little words.

Kylo: I love you.

Hux: That’s sweet, but try again.

Kylo, sighing: Fine. I will behave.

disheveleddarkness

@ofthestcrs

Kylo was in an officers’ lounge watching one of his holosoaps when his datapad illuminated with more messages. He never really got a break, but he did have some tea while he caught up on the notifications.

‘Where did you evacuate Andrzej Mitaka? He isn’t answering any communication channels’ Their espionage division had texted. Oh yeah. He was supposed to have called them back. Ugh, he had enough to do. They really needed to rework who they would report to.

Kylo typed out a reply: Evacuate? From what?

‘???????? From Hosnian Prime????’

Oh.

Oh no.

Horror descended over him. No one could know he had forgotten all about their top spy working from there…

Minutes passed before he could settle on a reply. He sent back: ‘Right. I will get back to you on this.’

He’d been so busy with the girl and starkiller and… and he had completely forgotten…

Kylo left to find Hux. It was time to gaslight him.

Hux was working as was per his usual state of being. His mind was always frantic, thinking of plans whether robotic in nature of more diabolical. It'd be nice to knock Ren off his high horse as it seemed no matter how often he fumbled, he was always the one who came out on top. As if he hadn't been beaten by some nobody with no training. As if Hux hasn't saved his ass when the first base had been blown to bits. He huffed as he worked on his datapad, typing in things quickly before hearing someone enter the room. Speak of the devil. It was Ren and his aura was ... slightly different.

"What is it now?" Hux asked, only gazing briefly at the shadow of a man. "Have you come to harass me as per usual or do you have an actual task for me?"

disheveleddarkness

Kylo rolled his eyes. “I’m trying to get into contact with Andrzej Mitaka. I was hoping you might care to inform me of where you evacuated him to last week if that isn’t too much to ask.”

Dopheld Mitaka glanced from his screen, having been working on the IT department’s timecard approvals. “Welcome back!” He had not seen him since before the starkiller incident.

“Thank you, Lieutenant. Some people certainly aren’t making my return to work easy on someone who has suffered such injury.” Kylo looked to Hux again. “Walk with me. You should have told me already what is going on with this simple task. Must I do everything?”

somethingxgreater

“Work out with me.” Kylo requested, coming to stand behind Rey. A hand fell to her hip.

@disheveleddarkness

Jumping in her spot when she heard kylo behind her she turned around feeling his hand on her hip. “By the stars…” she sighed in relief. “Sure, but what brought on this?” She asked with a soft smile tilting her head to the side.

disheveleddarkness

It was certainly not out of wanting to impress her with his strength. That would be childish.

He smiled at the thought.

“It helps to have a partner. Or I may talk myself out of exercising today.” he explained. He tried to be consistent, but it was much easier to intend to work out every day than it was to actually do so. It did however help his mental… challenges.

somethingxgreater

Rey smiled even softer. She knew it wasn’t easy coming to her for help. “Sure. I’ll gladly train with you.” She said taking his hand and giving it a soft squeeze.

Letting go of the hand again Rey tugged a strand of hair behind her ear looking up at the other with bright green eyes.

disheveleddarkness

Usually if anyone was in the fitness center they left when Kylo walked in. Lieutenant Mitaka glanced over from a tread and slowed his stride to prepare to end his exercise.

“What are you reading?” Kylo asked while Mitaka bookmarked the app.

“A Halo book. Hello miss Rey!” said he before departing.

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Have a l<3vely day!

@ofthestcrs

Kylo was in an officers’ lounge watching one of his holosoaps when his datapad illuminated with more messages. He never really got a break, but he did have some tea while he caught up on the notifications.

‘Where did you evacuate Andrzej Mitaka? He isn’t answering any communication channels’ Their espionage division had texted. Oh yeah. He was supposed to have called them back. Ugh, he had enough to do. They really needed to rework who they would report to.

Kylo typed out a reply: Evacuate? From what?

‘???????? From Hosnian Prime????’

Oh.

Oh no.

Horror descended over him. No one could know he had forgotten all about their top spy working from there…

Minutes passed before he could settle on a reply. He sent back: ‘Right. I will get back to you on this.’

He’d been so busy with the girl and starkiller and… and he had completely forgotten…

Kylo left to find Hux. It was time to gaslight him.

somethingxgreater

“Work out with me.” Kylo requested, coming to stand behind Rey. A hand fell to her hip.

@disheveleddarkness

Jumping in her spot when she heard kylo behind her she turned around feeling his hand on her hip. “By the stars…” she sighed in relief. “Sure, but what brought on this?” She asked with a soft smile tilting her head to the side.

disheveleddarkness

It was certainly not out of wanting to impress her with his strength. That would be childish.

He smiled at the thought.

“It helps to have a partner. Or I may talk myself out of exercising today.” he explained. He tried to be consistent, but it was much easier to intend to work out every day than it was to actually do so. It did however help his mental… challenges.

#it’s okay Kylo can you acknowledge you’re mentally ill

KYLO (muttering): I bet Grandfather never had to deal with this kind of short-sighted bureaucracy... HUX: Mmhm. Keep going, I'm sure you'll be very comfortable on the couch tonight.

This funny little tidbit was inspired by @wisekrakenwise putting together Lego 'Darth Vader's Meditation Chamber' this afternoon. And we went 'of course Kylo would want one of those!'

disheveleddarkness

There was no coming back from the failure of Starkiller Base. He should have died with it if only so he wouldn’t have had to face anyone ever again. The greatest of his wounds weren’t to his face or shoulder or abdomen but to his pride. Where there once had been strength instead lived the shame he could not cope with and an accumulation of exhaustion.

Maybe he should have said something to Hux before he had left. Anything at all. But he couldn’t find any words valuable enough. None that could change anything.

He hadn’t even wanted to commit mass genocide.

So what did he want?

“Another margarita. Extra shot. And could I get more salsa?”

He drank half the shot and dumped the remainder into the next drink.

He didn’t know what to do with his life now. He was sure Snoke would show up any day now and murder him. Likewise, if any republicans found him they would want him dead too. For now this random planet was fine. It was mostly independent, neither favoring the new republic nor the first order and not having enough resources to be of much interest to either. No one here would recognize him as Ben or as Kylo, so although he couldn’t sleep, he could breathe. For now. But the credits were dwindling. He would need to figure out something soon that was a plan that went a little further than drinking margaritas near the average hotel he’d been staying in with hopes of being treating as an average person instead of a war criminal or a prince.

He missed Armitage. Perhaps the worst of everything was he would never see him again and would never know his kiss.

Fuck my life.

@askarmitagehux

He laughed a little but there was no humor to it. “Of course he doesn’t care about me. I am not an idiot, Ren, I know that. He cares about how useful I can be to him. And with the Starkiller gone, the only thing I had to offer was getting you back. If that’s not an option, what use am I? If you won’t finish me off, he will.” He stood up straighter and held his chin up. “So? What will it be?”

disheveleddarkness

“Quit insulting me!” Kylo struck Hux’s face. He immediately regretted it, but it was quite better to slap him than to sear him with the blade. “There was a time I thought you were different.” He shoved Hux back from him. “That for once I could be enough for someone! Someone worth loving, and that I would worship you in return, and move the stars to suit you! You are a man of many things, but a liar, I couldn’t have foreseen, so blinded I was by your radiance…”

Hux did not expect to be slapped so it took him a moment to gather his bearing. The push was what made him lose it and he swung to strike at Ren.

“You are saying you would have moved the starts for me and I am the liar?! You kriffing left me there with him! You couldn’t face your punishment and I had to take it all while you partied in some hole! And now you dare blame me for it?!”

disheveleddarkness

He gasped as the impact came too close to breaking his nose. He swore, grasping at it, and answering, “If you cared for me you would have found me without needing to be TOLD TO DO SO!” He rubbed blood from his hand, sniffing hard. Blood slipped down his lips anyway. “I would have!” he declared. “If you had been the one to leave, I would have persued you! I would have VALUED you above HIM. When he has brought me NOTHING but self hatred and anxiety and BLOOD THIRST. But you’re so fucked up by your father I know you wouldn’t believe me if I told you I LOVE YOU.”

“That’s the difference! I wouldn’t have left you!” He rolled his fists and didn’t dare to attack again, no matter how much he wanted. “And especially not in my position! How would you pursue me if you had my resources? If you knew the second you step out of line, someone WILL snap your neck? If not Snoke, then Pryde and if not Pryde, then you! You love me? Then why the kriff did you abandon everything we stood for? Why did you leave me behind with no way out?!”

He took a step back. “You can take cheap shots at me. You can pretend you care. If you did, you would end me yourself and not let him toy with me the way he already has. And definitely not let him do what he will when I come empty handed. It won’t be quick.” He took in a shuddering breath. “So if that’s all you have to say to me, I will go and figure it out alone, like I always had to.”

And it’s not like he would go back. He couldn’t, not empty handed. He knew he had to continue tracking Ren, and he would on his own if he had to.

disheveleddarkness

PRETEND?! His fury heightened, and more tears fell. This was absolutely a nightmare.

He kept the distance between them, wanting Hux to calm down. Kylo stepped back too, pausing to rub at his wet face.

Not even his knights occupied a comparable expanse in his heart than Armitage did. Although it would be a lie to say he hadn’t slept with most of them.

But Armitage…

Kylo’s chest tightened with grief.

He had wanted a slow relationship with him. An establishment of love and trust before he would approach the topic of anything sexual.

What a mistake that had been.

What a lie love was.

What if…

“I could kill him for you.”

That was romantic, right? That would earn his trust? His love?

“I will kill him for you.”

He didn’t know how. It would likely take a long time to figure out a good plan.

Or die trying.

He blinked. “You mean Snoke? You would kill Snoke?” He laughed a bit hysterically. “Can you even do that? Why do you suddenly care about what he is doing to me?” He shook his head. “I trusted you once. I paid the price. You left me with him. I can’t see how this is not a ploy of some kind. For me to think you’re coming back to kill him only to watch him torture me, is that it? If you missed the show, all you need to do is take my shirt off, a lot of the injuries has a hard time healing. You’ll get the idea much easier.”

disheveleddarkness

“I didn’t mean IMMEDIATELY!” he exclaimed. There was so much knowledge he needed. Knowledge his so called master kept from him.

Maybe he fears my potential, he thought. He hoped.

He really was a useless master either way.

“What do you think I could have done? In that state I was in? Feeling like absolute shit from all my wounds too? No, show me. Show me what he’s done.”

Maybe not in the middle of a restaurant even if the bartenders and waiters were in hiding.

He huffed and quickly undid his tunic, and then his undershirt. His arms were all bruised and cut, with little skin remaining untouched. It almost seemed impossible that he could still move. He then pulled off his tank top, defiantly showing Ren the bacta patches holding together his skin, the impact where his broken rib was healing. Scratches and cuts covered him, and some clearly went lower, disappearing into his waistband.

“He usually spared my face but you clearly wanted to finish the tapestry,” he sneered.

disheveleddarkness

Kylo had seen—and inflicted—a lot of damage throughout his career. Carnage much more severe than this, yet nothing tore at his heart like this.

Quickly the redness of his face was not from his anger but from shame. He shouldn’t have hit him. Not for any reason.

He drew his gaze away.

“If you would stay with me…” He wasn’t sure what he was saying. His heart was broken but he tried to bring structure to his thoughts. His desires.

“I don’t believe either of us can last long avoiding him.” he admitted his own little scheme was bound to fail even if Hux hadn’t ever gotten here.

“But we could be better off together. Doing whatever it takes to find some freedom.”

Hux quickly put his layers on. If one knew him, the stiffness in his movements could be spotted. But to an untrained eye, he was doing just fine.

“I was not about to avoid him,” he said. “I now I can’t do it. And I don’t know how much I would enjoy being on the run. I would have to abandon everything I care for and replace it with constant fear.” He didn’t have many options but this one did not sound particularly great.

“Why did you leave me behind, Ren?”

disheveleddarkness

Constant fear… that was the norm for him. Fear and anger. “Being on the run isn’t about enjoying it…”

Kylo looked away as he thought on his question, wanting to answer honestly. “I could never imagine you even considering choosing me over the Order. It’s always been your life’s purpose. And I can’t compare to that. You would be better off without me. Without all the problems I bring you. I’m meant to be alone. To suffer.”

“The Order is all I have,” Hux admitted. “Even more so since you left. But I really could not care less about the pity party you are throwing yourself. Unlike you, I do not intend to go out there to look for suffering. I will fight for what I want until my dying breath. I’m not a coward who pretends he is doing some sort favor to anyone.” Hux scoffed. “Maybe I would have been better off if you never showed up in my life. But you did and then you left, and ever since everything went to shit. I name one thing left I care about and I’m about to lose it too and it’s all because you left.” He shook his head.

“You didn’t do it for me. You did it because you were scared he would do what he did to me. You surrendered me to take your place. You claimed to care about me but in the end you cared about yourself more and I was a fool to ever have thought you’d do anything else. That’s all there is to it.”

disheveleddarkness

“That’s all? Hardly! I know what you really wanted. Why you’re so focused in on that. You wanted him to kill me, didn’t you? It would get his attention off you, would be great justice for my share of the blame for starkiller… I would have gotten so much more of the punishment, which really makes you the coward. He would have taken more out on me, killed me even, because he would expect me to survive longer, just to torment me until his hatred of me convinces him to end it… But you… you have different value. Different strengths and knowledge. Knowledge of military life and strategy he can’t afford to lose.”

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disheveleddarkness

“Hello sissy” (Rey, somethingxgreater)

Of all the things he expected someone to call him this was certainly not one of them. So his brain broke, just for a moment as he stared at her, trying to make some sense out of this greeting.

Until he threw the data pad he was holding into a wall. Too close to her head.

“Would you care to REPHRASE THAT?” Did this girl live to annoy him? Did she crave death? After all he’d done for her?

@somethingxgreater

somethingxgreater

“Umf. Hit a nerve I see.” Rey smirked at Kylo when he threw the holopad in her direction not even flinching when it flew past her head.

“I’m sorry. What I meant to say was hello dark lord of sissies.” She huffed crossing her arms over her chest as she looked at him with a challenging and mischievous look.

disheveleddarkness

His eyes widened. Heart raced.

She knew. No. How? This was horrible. A nightmare he couldn’t let get out of control. It was the Force bond wasn’t it? Had it betrayed him so intimately? Somehow he hadn’t even noticed her presence, whenever it must have been that he last indulged…

Kylo, looking upon her with fear amidst his anger, snapped defensively, “It isn’t funny! You know my image is important to me…” His voice softened. “Please.”

It didn’t even occur to him that maybe she was just mentioning the topic by coincidence.

somethingxgreater

Seeing the frightened look on kylo’s face, rey’s smirk grew even wider. That was until he spoke. Confusion took over as she knitted her eyebrows together.

“Wait. What are you talking about?” She asked letting her arms fall to the side. She tilted her head slightly to the left as she looked at the other.

disheveleddarkness

“What?” Another spike in anxiety had his head filling hot and heavy. “Nothing! I don’t know! I haven’t slept in three days, so not even I know what I’m talking about so certainly you wouldn’t either! And this headache! Don’t be unkind. Today is not the day to get on my nerves. I don’t know, I wouldn’t overthink it, who knows what I’m talking about… not me.”

He needed to get them out of this hallway on the latest military base that served as a central location as they figured out reorganizing the first order.

“I was just on my way back to my quarters, why don’t you come with me.” he said, walking off and expecting her to follow.

somethingxgreater

“Waaaaaaait a minute. You were throwing the holopad at me. You’re flustered. Kylo..? What did you look at?” Rey crossed her arms again and raised an eyebrow in suspicion. Something was up. Usually when he acted this way he was embarrassed by something. Oh this was going to be good.

“Do I want to?” She asked frowning at him when he invited her back to his quarters. She sighed softly when he started walking off and all she could do was follow.

disheveleddarkness

In his panicked flurry of feelings he had forgotten his holopad! He turned, dashing toward it in a fashion not at all becoming of a dark lord, while speeding the retrieval along with a pull through the Force.

“What do you mean do you WANT to?! I thought you liked my cooking!” he replied, desperate to get her mind off the mystery.

After a peaceful few years, I am back to being obsessed with my space bitches

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