being a 26 year old woman is annoying as hell because youre either talking to people who are on the Im just a girl train or the Im decrepit and passed my prime train. hey what if we were just human adults

Women and women can never be friends because the sex thing just gets in the way

They're cracking me open like a crab and eating all my knowledge , information

Under communism the wait staff will not ask if Pepsi is okay. You will not even find out that's its Pepsi instead of coke until you take your first sip. Unless you train like me, to know the difference from the sound of the Fizz alone, that is the only way we can beat communism and I can teach you. Take my hand. Not like that you grabbed it gay. Stop. Giggles. I SAID STOP

person (non-practicing)

the reason that wounds that break the skin hurt is because its always supposed to be dark inside your body and when your blood sees sunlight for the first time it gets scared. and that causes the pain. or maybe it doesnt

Really the craziest part of being a great honking dyke is the way women will tell you (usually drunk) that they wish they were lesbians & it's like. Well. You can be. Do you want to scissor right now or just in general what's happening

weed before cider youre meeting the spider. cider before weed time for centipede

being single sucks [remembers that romantic love isnt the gleaming beacon of salvation that will fix the chasm within me] #mychasm #isupportmychasm [remembers not to trivialize my emotions] but it is painful to never have been deemed worthy of that kind of lasting love [remembers how many incels there are] but honestly you should be totally self-sufficient and never want anything ever [remembers that im evil] im evil