After Sam dies, Dean lays him out in the mud and tucks his nose right into the crook of his shoulder, pulls in that little-brother smell while Samās throat goes cold against his cheek. knots his fingers in Samās rain-damp hair, pulls his jacket off and wraps it around Samās chest because-
āheāll get sick,ā he explains when Bobby gently asks what heās doing, thumb skidding over Samās cheekbone with his fingers cupped around the back of his neck to lift Samās forehead to his hand, check for a fever.Ā āI gotta get him inside, Bobby, heāll- heāll get sick,ā Dean asserts, teeth chattering.Ā
Bobby doesnāt say anything for a while, watching Dean struggle to shove Samās hands through the jacket sleeves while he repeats, letās get you inside, little brother, weāll fix you right up.
āDean.ā Bobby speaks after a while, his voice too loud in the calm-quiet of the thunderstorm, miles away.Ā āHeās gone, son.ā
Deanās still smiling, assured.Ā āLetās get you up.ā He tries to haul Sam vertical by his armpits, lame footing on the slick ground, but slips back onto his knees with all of the weight and the wretched rain. Samās head lolls to the side and the light catches on his pale cheek, fresh blood smeared there from Deanās hand- transference from Samās gutted spine. Bobby cringes.Ā
He tries again.Ā āDean-ā
āHelp me get him up,ā Dean half-yells, frustrated, pressing Samās face into his chest.Ā āCāmon Sammy, letās get you inside, you gotta help me out, here, sasquatch.ā His voice shakes even though heās half-smiling, chin tucked against the top of Samās head. Bobby canāt watch this anymore.
āKid.ā He lays his hand on Deanās shoulder-Ā ālook at me.ā And when Dean doesnāt, shrugs him off-Ā āLook at me!āĀ
Dean turns then, finally, and Bobby is nearly knocked flat by the look in his eyes- an expression he doesnāt know if thereās a word for yet- horror, confusion, nausea, pleading- Bobby has to choke back his own tears as one falls down Deanās cheek, following the same path as the rainwater.
āNo,ā he says, mouth twisted, sick, chest shivering. Absolute.Ā āNo.ā The tears come faster now, dam broke-open, and he gasps, heaving, falling forward onto Sam in the muck like he canāt hold himself up anymore.Ā āNo,ā he says again, and itās shaky, loud, drawn-out, muffled up against Samās chest.Ā āPlease, god-ā he chokes, fingers gripping white-knuckled in his own jacket against Samās still ribs.Ā
He doesnāt finish the sentence- never been the praying type. Bobby figures, later, when heās greeted with Sam-in-one-piece at his doorstep, clapping him on the shoulder like nothing happened, that Dean never really needed Godās help when he feels like he takes care of his little brother better than God ever could.