My Online Grimoire

Oh, you don’t like members of non-Christian cultures pointing out the ways in which your behaviors continue to normalize and uphold Christian hegemony?

What IS important for beginner witches is learning mundane skills like discernment and critical thinking. Because when you're just getting started, the most dangerous thing you are going to encounter is other practitioners preying on newbies. Know how to spot grooming. Know how to spot cult-like behavior. Know how to read books critically. Know how to spot bullshit when you see it.

There are a lot of answers to this, and more folkloric history than I can sum up here or do justice to.

The folk devil (or really, devil(s)) go way way back as the bestower of power to witches, among many other things. In the old stories, witches would use flying ointments, brooms, etc, to meet in the forest, where they would convene with the devil and dance wildly. In trade, they would receive magical powers and desires, usually at some cost.

There are theories that historical “devils” were Old Gods erased throughout the rise of Christianity and renamed as “devils”, their true names lost to history.

To me, the folk devil is the dualistic God/spirit of all things. Birth and death, creation and destruction, winter and summer, storms and sunshine. They are the bestower of magical power, and the father of witches. They are the Old One. The ancient horned God of the world we live in. The cruelty, kindness, chaos and beauty of the world.

My UPG is heavily related to Gemma Gary’s depiction of them, as I connect most with this imagery. The Old One transcends all imagery, however, and will be seen in a unique way by each person.

(I’ve been using they/them pronouns because duality also often implies masculine and feminine, however in my eyes, the Old One transcends any gender spectrum humans follow. They are often also described as “The Man in Black”, “The Witch Father”, and other masculinized names.)

Some books if you want to learn more:

“The Devil’s Dozen: Thirteen Craft Rites of the Old One”- Gemma Gary. (To be read after “Traditional Witchcraft: A Cornish Book of Ways”. )

“Ecstasies: Deciphering the Witches’ Sabbath”- Carlo Ginzburg

If you see somebody on the Internet claiming they're setting up some kind of spiritual/magical academy, or looking for worthy pupils to teach, or - and especially - looking for a worthy pupil to teach, you need to be very wary.

Literally anybody can claim that they have all kinds of deep, true spiritual knowledge. Literally anybody can scrounge up a few mystical books and learn just enough to make it seem like they know a lot to someone new to magic and mysticism. Anybody can whip up some conspiracy theory to explain why the stuff they just pulled out of their bum three minutes ago isn't accepted by academic scholars and mainstream religion.

(And speaking of conspiracy theories, most conspiracy theories you're going to run into are going to be some variant on The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion and/or blood libel and early modern witch panic. Some conspiracy theorists swap out "Jews" for "the Catholic Church" or something, but it's no less bullshit because the source is the same.)

It's always worth asking yourself, "How do I know they aren't lying to me?" And don't just go with "I can just sense they're telling the truth" because it really does not work that way. What you might be "sensing" is their conviction in their own bullshit. Or they might be a really good liar. Or they might be saying stuff that feels true because it seems to confirm your own biases.

Also, if you see somebody telling you that reaching your highest magical potential means doing some kind of sex magic, or offering to teach sex magic to beginners, run. This person is a sexual predator.

I recommend ESOTERICA and Angela's Symposium to start getting a grounded view of religious and spiritual history, which will make it much less likely you'll fall for a scam.

Also, remember that at the end of the day, vital spiritual or magical knowledge is not locked away with any individual person or even group. The main thing that any specific person or group has is their own take on things, which generally as subjective as anybody else's.

Then one of your rich friends comes back from a vacation to Nepal talking about the Sunyata like "yeah they pray but they pray to nothingness because nothingness is generative."

Learn about the holiday of Lammas!

What is Lammas?

Lammas, Lammas Day, Loaf Mass, Loaf Mass Day—however you’d like to call it—is a holiday celebrated originally by Christian Anglo-Saxons. Lammas is also called “the feast of first fruits” and is a harvest festival taking place on August 1st in the northern hemisphere (February 1st in the southern hemisphere).

Some neopagan religions, namely Wicca, would later add this holiday to their sabbats (see: Wheel of the Year). Due to various reasons, the holiday Lughnasadh—a festival historically celebrated in Ireland—became conflated with Lammas, and the two are often used interchangeably. For a short explanation as to why this is an issue, please see this post.

Etymology

Lammas comes from the Old English hlāfmæsse, or “Loaf mass”. This most likely references the tradition of making a loaf of bread with the crop harvested on Lammastide.

History

In the past, it was customary to bring a loaf of bread to one’s local church to be blessed or to have a procession from the church to a bakery wherein those who are working will be blessed. The blessed bread may also be used for the Eucharist.

Throughout Britain in the Middle Ages fairs would be celebrated, feasts would be had, rent would be paid, and local elections held.

Note: Lammas may have pre-Christian influences but the festivities we know of and its name come from a distinctly English and Christina era. It was not “stolen” from pagans.

Modern Day Lammas

These are simply suggestions, anything that can be seen as traditional will be marked with a (T).

Correspondences

Deities

The Christian God (T), Lugh, Demeter, Freyr, Osiris, and many of the harvest/agricultural deities.

Rocks, Crystals, Minerals, Etc

Sunstone, amber, gold, iron

Herbs and Plants

Wheat, cereals, corn (T), blackberries, blueberries, bilberries

Activities

Bake bread (T)

Hold a bonfire

Harvest crops (T) or tend to houseplants

Practice divination

Create or cast spells involving equity and justice

Visit a bakery (and tip your bakers if possible!)

Pray for blessings

Feast (T)

Offerings

Beer

Bread or other baked goods (T)

Any of the herbs or rocks mentioned above

Support local farmers

Dance or sing

Honor your ancestors, gods, or spirits with an altar or a space at your feast

References and Resources

Lammas - Britannica

A Little History of Lammas - A Clerk of Oxford

Lammas - Wikipedia

Stations of the Sun - Ronald Hutton

in no particular order, featuring- some of my fav epithets (both ancient and self-given), my obsession with post-modernism, my personal interpretation of the gods, my brainrot etc

Apollo-

Apollo of Philosophy [all self-reflection and deconstruction chaos included]

Apollo of the Ivory Tower 

Apollo of “oh no, this is a poem isn’t it” when I just wanted to write something random

Apollo of Post-modernism

Apollo Proopsiou [first sight]

Apollo of Post-colonial Theory

Apollo of structure

Apollo of homosociality

Apollo of young men and boys [always a classic]

Dionysos-

Dionysos of Philosophy [immediately there is a distinctly different vibe from Apollo of Philosophy lol]

of Psychoanalysis [o shelter me from repressive structures and aid me in the uncovering of the world’s true desires]

Dionysos Psilas [giver of wings]

Dionysos of “kill everyone now condone first degree murder advocate cannibalism eat shit filth is my politics filth is my life!” 

Dionysos of neurodivergency

Dionysos of homoeroticism

Dionysos of Existential Crises

Dionysos of modernity [unhinged]

A few others that are not as collected

Aphrodite Pandemos

Aphrodite of the Revolution [erotic]

Artemis of homosociality

Zeus of Anarchists/ Zeus of Anarchy [I could not decide on which one was better]

Zeus of Free Speech [basic and timeless]

//

It is my belief that giving epithets is a key language of worship in the modern world [giving epithets is my love language]

Απόλλων θεραπεία (Apollon therapeía) = Apollon the Therapist

Απόλλων μυαλό/myaloú (Apollon myaló/myalou ) = literally Apollon of the mind

Απόλλων διατεθειμένος (Apollon diatetheiménos ) = of the mind/sanity

Identifying Identifying if a new-ager is in your presence(or space) isn't hard! There are some key features to take note of!

Culture Appropriation! they love to steal and take thing from cultures! and Westernize it!

Toxic Positivity! They dislike when others and even themselves feel "negative" emotions! (They are life suckers! they love taking the life out of you!)

5d or different realms! I guess they are able to traverse outside this universe!

Vibrations! They like to keep their 'vibrations' high! who knew they were completely made out sound! and not matter!

Starseeds! They want to be oppressed.

Defend or Protect

New-Agers hate medicine! so make sure to keep your pill bottles or mobility aids near your doors or windows! (if you see one coming throw your bottles or aids at them)

If throwing your medical aids doesn't help, throw epsom salt! it's made out of magnesium, sulfur (scary), and oxygen (obviously something that harms you /s)

Play "aggressive" or "angry" music when they try to enter your space! that kind of music lowers their vibrations!

Be rational! Being rational is the strongest forms of protection from new-agers! as well understanding history!