Film director

@general-luce I know you will love this.

I ordered Jimmy Johns and it took the delivery man 5 minutes and 1 second to bring me my food and he showed up with a katana and my sandwich and said “I’m so sorry, I’ve gone over my time promise, please, dispose of me, I am worthless” and handed me the katana and I was like “yo what, I don’t care dude, go back to your work it’s fine” and he was like “THEN BOSS WILL DISPOSE OF ME YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND I BROKE THE PROMISE” and then cops showed up and started shooting at him and was like “YOU’RE TOO KIND LADY, HE MUST DIE, ITS A LAW.” and then one cop started swinging the katana at his neck then I woke up

Source name. Keep forgetting to look at source names

laughter is my gut reaction to witnessing pretty much anything i find unbelievable and i’m counting down the days until it causes problems. i remember once i had a teacher who was screaming at someone and she said to them “in this classroom, i am god” and not laughing was the most difficult thing i’ve ever done

the way men think eating meat feeds into their masculinity is so fucking funny like miss thing you didn’t wrestle that shit with your bare hands you took your dumpy ass to costco in your wife’s pt cruiser you might as well be a drag queen at this point

MOTHERFUCKERS COULDN’T GET ON WONDER WOMEN’S LEVEL 

The “calm down, calm down” as he points a gun at them, ready to shoot if they so much as twitch wrong is my favorite part. Guess who’d have all the legal guns if some folks had it their way and prohibited self defense weapons. These fuckers.

wow how did i not hear about this and i fucking live here? This is infuriating.

Thank God they are alive

I’m reblogging this every time I see it.

AND COUNTING.