OH MY GOSH THEY LOSSSSSSSSS THANK GOD ARGENTINA LOST 🇪🇸🇪🇸🇪🇸🇪🇸🇪🇸🇪🇸🇪🇸

something that’s both infuriating and hilarious about harrow the ninth is that it becomes so difficult to differentiate the realities of canaan house from the byproducts of harrow’s lobotomy for two reasons that have absolutely no right to exist simultaneously: harrow has brain damage and gideon is allergic to locking in. what actually happened? which details from harrow’s perspective are just things gideon simply didn’t pay a lick of attention to, and which details are absolute horseshit made up in the aftermath of the great lesbian grief of harrowhark the first? someone needs to save them from themselves

Thinking really hard about Ianthe. She convinced her one-sided lesbian situationship to give her a new arm after she got dismembered by a saint. She and her twin sister love to dip their toes into incest sometimes but not in ways you’d expect. She also uses her magic to make herself look sickly so her sister can breast boobily. She and Jesus might be fucking but neither of them probably enjoys it. She voluntarily wore a maid dress in a game show inside her own mind. I hate her. She’s awesome. What is wrong with her.

Oh yeah and there’s also the cannibalism. I guess.

She’s the character ever. She routinely dresses for and inserts herself into scenes as the sex appeal, knowing she looks like a drowned albino rat. She’s smart enough to know going mad with power has consequences and she’s okay with it because she’s also smarter than most of the consequences. She’s canonically cannibalized people and it’s the least interesting thing about her. She’s even gay.

so i hauve covid rn and i must say, American cold medicine is the absolute bees knees. You go to a UK pharmacy and they tenderly press like eight (8) paracetamol into the palm of your hand... God FORBID you're sick in France, i had to scour every pharmacy in Paris for something that wasn't HOMEOPATHIC PASTILLES. meanwhile last night i took the last of my stash of Nyquil that expired in 2019 and it was like getting hit by a fucking baseball bat (affectionate). press X to timeskip. LOVE me a cheeky little medically induced coma. you can really feel that it's a precursor to meth. i know that everything is fucking awful over there my friedns and my heart goes out to every one of you but if you need one small bright light of national pride in this time of strife please know that i envy you your cold medicine every day

i once took an american antihistamine pill just a basic one for seasonal allergies and i had to immediately lay down and while doing so i vividly hallucinated that i was a steerage passenger on the titanic resigned to my death as my cabin filled up rapidly with water. then i blacked out and when i woke up again my allergies were gone for the entire season.

The Hat Man is our greatest export

hey followers. have you ever wanted to know how it feels to be inside a bag of cornflakes

ye

enter the cornflakes domain

I fucking hate this website because not only did I click this goddamn link expecting it to be a joke of some sort, but it wasn’t a joke and I sat here spinning the screen around enjoying myself in a stupid bag of cornflakes like the dumbass monkey I am on Tumblr.com, enthralled by being in a bag of corn flakes in

are you implying there is no skill to breast milk?

I was really just hoping breast milk wouldn’t become a major part of this conversation.

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.