Vanilla Lychee

“What the fuck? My tyranny? What are you yapping about?” She seems confused.

“Rule from the Club Constitution Section 9.1: ‘Any member of the Taekwondo club can challenge the current president for their position in a manner determined by the latter.’ Are you scared, huh?” You swallow, and join her for the staring contest, but only she can see you dilating pupils.

“Hmm… interesting. Ok, I accept your challenge. But for what reason?” Yujin closes the distance between you; the warm air of the practice room is being replaced by her scent – deadly perfume mixed with her sweat from the practice.

“M… me and my fellow club members are done with your iron fist!” You exclaim, “2 hours of practice every afternoon? Two-mile runs as a warmup? You’re making our life so miserable, this is supposed to be a healthy and recreational club!”

“How is conditioning not healthy, hmm?” Yujin gets closer to you, you stumble backwards.

“A… and those so called ‘One-on-One extra practice?’ You randomly pick people to stay after. Every single one who’s been selected stumbles out and can barely walk straight the next day! What the hell did you do to them?” Your accusation is nothing but pure anger, yet the way your voice cracked showed exactly how scared you are in front of a strong woman like An Yujin.

“Aw~, the ‘one-on-one’ huh? I can swear they ALL had a good time… you want to find out what I did?” Yujin smiles at you mischievously, making you more frightened.

“I… I don’t have to know! Because after today, you’ll no longer be the president of the Taekwondo club! I… I shall replace the tyrant myself!” You give a final verdict, despite it is nowhere close to be promising.

“You stated the rule, and I pick the way of the duel. Any objections?” Yujin ignores your weak statements, instead she starts to kick off her sneakers that she just put on after the practice.

“No! Just say it.”

“Okay, I hope you won’t regret your decision. Now get on the mats.”

“What?”

“I said, ‘lie on the floor’. Is it not clear?” Yujin smirks, her normally cute dimple is now nothing but pure mischief.

“I…isn’t this supposed to be a Taekwondo contest? S… since this is a Taekwondo club?” You don’t dare to disobey the powerful president but you’re still confused as hell.

“I am going to challenge your endurance and strength, to see if you are capable of the position of the president. Which, I don’t think you do.” Yujin taunts, her grin grows even wider. “By the way, this is exactly what the one-on-one practice is about, but unfortunately? So far no one can finish the whole set without saying the safe word and chicken out.”

“What the fuck? T… this is not BDSM type of stuff, why is there a safe word?”

Apparently, Yujin is not as patient as you thought. She doesn’t like her club members when they ask too many questions. That’s why she decides to answer you physically.

“Ouch!” Within a blink of an eye, Yujin executes a sweep and tackles you onto the foam mats.

“Oh, by the way? The rule is simple, endure my assault and don’t tap out. Thirty minutes and you are the new President. Sounds easy, huh? I hope you have better stamina than your peers, candidate?” Yujin climbs up and mounts on top of your chest. Is this even a Taekwondo position anymore? You’re confused, but maybe she’s just gonna attack you? And you defend?

Well, that’s almost it.

Until Yujin starts to undo your uniform.

“Hey! What are you doing! What the fuck?” You scream as Yujin’s hands are already all over your bare chest.

“Uh… you seem to have very weak emotion control? That’s not good for the future president of the Taekwondo club? How can you lead, if you cannot even endure the slightest exposure?” She teases, while completely removing your uniform and the only piece of fabric covering your skinny body is that boxer of yours.

And for some random reason, it is damped and looks utterly unprofessional.

“Wow, not even compression shorts? No cups as well? You said you want to challenge me, but where your gears?” Yujin coos, while giving your crotch a teasing smack.

“Ahhh!!!” You gasp from the pain, but a weird sense of pleasure starts to overtake the discomfort.

“Hey! Are you ok? Why are you hard?” Yujin repositions herself on the side of your body, her strong, meaty legs clamping either side of your hips.

“Mmph…” A pathetic moan involuntarily comes out of your throat.

“Oh no! A future president of the club is not capable of resisting basic teasing! How can you stay calm and authoritative and manage your club members?” She approaches your right ear, whispering right into the very core in your brain. Meanwhile, her elegant fingers pinch your exposed nipple.

You itch even more; the final bit of your control is almost gone.

“Alright, let me finally see what your equipment is capable of doing.” Yujin yanks your boxer all the way down to your ankles, your fully hard length springs free in the chill air of the dojang.

She bites down on your earlobe, spilling more filthy words like a devil. “Smart boy, can you make a guess now? Why did your fellow club members couldn’t walk straight the day after?”

“Fuck!” You are falling deeper to the sensation.

“That’s the right answer, boy.” Yujin grins whiling grabbing the base of your throbbing cock.

“But since you’re not being a good boy and instead decided to challenge me?” She starts stroking, “I might not give you the same level of treatment as your clubmates.”

“Oh... shit... Yujin” Her name slips through your lips that you’ve been biting down.

“Stay still, a good leader should be able to resist external pressure and keep their composure. Where is yours?” She starts to accelerate her movement, and yeah, your twitching length is at its maximum hardness already.

“Oh fuck... Yujin, you’re making me feel so good.” You never expected a *challenge* would lead you to this, but hell, you’re more than willing to do so.

“Bet you wanna come already, look at how your cock is leaking like a faucet!” She sits up on the mat, smiling at you amusedly.

Then, while you’re closing your eyes to enjoy the sensation, she suddenly takes her hands off your cock.

You protest by thrusting your crotch upwards to seek for more friction, but Yujin instead puts her feet on your hips. You take a peek at the obscene view down below - Yujin’s wiggly toes painted in a glossy black - scratch your inner thigh softly but never actually touching your cock.

“What’s essential in Taekwondo? Footwork! Let’s see if you’re capable of defending my footwork, hehehe~” Yujin giggles, she steps her beautifully arched foot onto your shaft. You immediately tremble from the point of contact where her soft skin meets your hot length.

Yujin spreads her foot wide, letting your sensitive head slide into the gap between her big toe and the rest of her gorgeous little foot. Your cock had already been leaking crazily, the precum provides an extra layer of lubrication. She keeps sliding her foot up and down along your itching shaft, a new drop of precum oozes out of your slit each time her toe brushes through your frenulum.

“Holy shit… Yujin, your foot is doing me so well.” You manage a gasp to compliment her excellent footwork but obviously she does not need to hear it. That’s probably the reason why she smacks her other pretty foot onto your face. Her heel lies between your lips and her toes press your nose, trapping your face under her sole.

You uncontrollably sniff Yujin; her alluring scent immediately rushes to the very core of your nostril. The light, vanilla scent from her body lotion mixes with a faint hint of her sweat from the practice earlier. You never knew a Taekwondo girl would have such soft, sweet feet. You kiss her sole following your instinct as you put both hands onto her foot, caressing her.

“Mmph… Yujin, your scent makes me so hard.” You confess while Yujin doesn’t even bother looking at your face, instead she puts her focus on her footwork like a true master.

“Nah, that’s not the right way to say it, challenger.” She finally looks into your eyes, “In order to be a qualified president, you cannot be too honest and spill out what you really think.”

“But your smell like heaven… mmph.” You ignore her indirect warning, instead you plant more wet kisses with your mouth onto her pretty foot.

“Haiya… you’re helpless.” Yujin sighs, “maybe it’s better for you to stop using words, use your actions instead. Show me what you’ve got.” She then shoves her foot through your lips; your tongue gets greeted by her taste and silky sole.

“Mmm…” You spontaneously start sucking her toes, you savor each one like eating a lollipop. You greedily acquire her taste through your tongue, the wet, obscene sound of licking and sucking echoes between the walls. Your cock twitched hard against her sole even as shame burned your ears.

“That’s it, keep enjoying my footwork like a good boy you are. Maybe you’re better off being a club member instead of a leader… since you enjoy getting obedient this much? Hmm?” Yujin’s smile is dangerous but you are her willing prey.

You keep moaning helplessly as Yujin fucks your itching shaft and your naughty mouth at the same time. You’re getting close. Too close. Maybe Yujin is right in the end of the day, you’re just a sub little boy who enjoys being beneath a powerful woman like herself.

“Fuck… I’m gonna come on your foot, shit!” Your breath hitches as Yujin finally starts her merciless assault onto your leaking cock. She picks up her phone from the mat, taking a selfie of this utterly unholy scenery – Yujin sits on the foam mat with her legs wide open. Her left foot is still somewhere in your mouth, whilst her right foot presses your hardened cock onto your stomach and rubs your swollen tip with her wiggling toes. Meanwhile, she throws a cheeky “V” sign right between your messy face and the camera with Yujin biting her lips with pure ecstasy.

“Look at the camera. Do you wanna say ‘cheese’ for mommy?” The word hits you like a thunderbolt. It turns on something deep in your soul. “Oh fuck…” The humiliation turns your face into a beet root, but oddly you feel a strong-than-ever sense of pleasure. Your moans are louder and louder as your hips buck upwards to chase her foot each time she brushes through your sensitive top.

“You came to challenge me, but now you’re moaning like a little bitch boy? Hmm? Is that what you’re like?” Yujin giggles.

“Hmmnn… I am mommy Yujin’s bitch boy, please don’t stop!” You mumble with her foot still stirring in your mouth, your brain gives up any final effort to stay sane as the pleasure from the friction starts to overwhelm each sense.

“Oh? Now you don’t call me a tyrant? Or an iron fist? You call me mommy… Hmm. Don’t you worry, I’m not stopping until you cry and cum on my foot like a slut.” She picks up her pace, alternating between squeezing your tip and stroking your entire shaft with her sole. Her entire right foot is glistening with your precum leaking all over the place, shining obscenely under the afternoon sunlight through the certain.

The sensory is overloading, your hands are all over her pretty foot that keeps thrusting in and out of your math and your legs start to tremble violently – it’s time to release!

“I think you’re close, hmm?” Yujin teases while slowing down her movement, you groan painfully from the loss of friction.

“Please… please let me cum.” You beg pathetically.

“Aw~ poor boy, surrendering to my swift footwork already? Your endurance is a big issue, isn’t it? I think you need to hold it longer.”

“N…NO! I need to cum so bad, please Yujin.” Your eyes are teary, every cell of your body screaming for more of her foot on you. You’re a goner.

“You annoyed me, do you know that?” Yujin hums, but amusedly instead of angrily. “You were so arrogant to even think about challenging me.” She says, while starting to untie her own dobok.

“But surprisingly you haven’t come yet, most of your peers either ran away already…” She stops as she swings the dobok off her body, “or they already exploded their seeds all over the place.”

“Damn! That’s what you did to them in the one-on-one practice? No wonder they couldn’t walk straight the next day…. That’s coercion!” You shout.

“Exactly, but they always had the option to tap out by saying the safe word, you know?” She stands up onto the mat; Yujin is now only in her sports bra and a plain spandex short.

“W…what’s the safe word?” You seem confused because she never told you what it is.

“Oh! You wanna know? It is ‘mommy’! You already said it, so assume you don’t wanna continue? Aw~ how pitiful… okay imma leave then.” Yujin pouts, while pretending to leave (of course you don’t know if she means it or not).

“Hey! What the fuck! Please don’t…” You lie on the mat, trying to grab Yujin’s ankle – but obviously you also need more training of your agility as you miss by nearly a foot. Well, she doesn't even flinch, instead Yujin looks down at your trembling hand knowing you’re at the exact place she wants you to be.

“Oh, really? I thought you can be satisfied jerking off thinking about me, maybe you want more?” Yujin turns around, winks at you teasingly.

“Y…yes, I want more of you Yujin… please?” You mutter weakly.

“Aw~ use your words then, pretty boy… and just ‘Yujin’? Where’s the honorific?” She laughs.

“I meant ‘Mommy Yujin’, please! I want to feel your outstanding footwork on me again!” You exclaim.

“Hmm, maybe? The way you beg me is actually kinda cute. Fuck, it’s making me wet even...” Yujin murmurs as she turns back towards you.

“Yes! Please gimme all... your skin is smooth like butter, so soft on me. I want it so badly.” Filthy words escape out of your filthy mouth, and Yujin find another way to shut you up.

“You know... sometimes you talk too much. Besides that, you’re kinda a cute little boy toy for me. So say less.” Yujin stands tall, her 173 centimeters of height is simply dominance (or equivalently, 5’8” for my fellow American readers).

She then positions herself on top of you, before sinking herself down onto your face in one go. Yujin supports herself with her hands and her feet are finally back on your itching, desperate cock again.

The moment when she sits on your face is electric. Yujin’s weight and alluring scent assault your face all at once. The firm, warm muscle of her body settles directly over your face, the slick, sweat-dampened spandex of her shorts molding to your nose and lips. You gasp, but all you inhale is her deadly scent, especially the intoxicating pheromone from a dominating Yujin.

You manage to open your eyes and even that takes a lot of effort. What you see above you is definitely worth it though. Yujin’s glory body is all full display.

You can clearly see how the spandex shorts hug her thick ass and her athletic thighs. The dark fabric is slightly damp from the sweat but damn, the way her muscle stretches beneath the shorts? The way her thong is still barely visible through the shorts? You swear you’ll empty yourself soon if you don’t look somewhere else.

You moan as you gradually lose yourself in lust. You close your eyes again to stop the sensory overload. But there is this good old say: muting one sense only emphasizes the other ones. And that’s exactly the case.

The dojang is very quiet, but you can clearly hear the sound where Yujin’s shorts are brushing your nose. You can hear each time she lands her gorgeous butt onto your nose, as well as the slick sound where she massages your cock with her sole.

Your hands hover on Yujin’s perfect ass, only for her to slap them off. “Did I say you can touch?” She teases.

“P... please, your ass looks so fucking juicy...” You mumble.

“Hmm, really? You think so too? Many of your fellow members said it before. But you haven’t really seen it yet, bitch boy?” Yujin sits back onto your face, smothering you with her weight. “If you want it, you gotta earn it... you know? Perseverance is a nice trait for good leadership.”

“Mmph... But I can’t take them off without my hands!” You squeeze out a few words through her suppression.

“Aw~ you’re really struggling now huh? Use your mouth, little boy. Use your filthy mouth which spits out stupid words.” Yujin taunts while grabbing both of your wrists and pinning your hands to the mat effortlessly.

“P... please! I swear I won’t disobey you anymore! I won’t protest against your leadership again!” You beg in desperation as you’re so close - just need more of Yujin.

“I meant, use your mouth. Physically. Take my shorts off with your silly mouth.” Yujin pouts devilishly.

You’re in awe, but you oblige regardless. She lifts herself slightly, just enough for you to have room for some air. Her curve is perfect shaped, wiggling and hovering on your face. You lift your head just high enough to level up at the waistband.

You bite down onto the elastic band of the spandex shorts and pull the plain black shorts down. She stretches her leg muscles a little bit to help you out while smiling at you teasingly.

Yujin’s heavenly ass is finally at full display. You gulp starring at the curve, your hip pushes upwards to chase for more contact. Yet, there’s still a final layer of barrier before you gain full access to her pussy. A crimson laced thong.

“Shit, Yujin. Why are you wearing this to practice?” Your hands are already groping her ass, but this time she lets you.

“Come on naughty boy. Don’t act like you don’t like it.” She responses you with a dimpled smile.

“Hmm fuck, I like it so bad... You’re so hot.” You confess as you lose yourself in her cute and seemingly innocent face.

“Good. I bet you’ll do anything to taste my pussy, is that right?” She flexes her ass that has been hovering on your face for too long.

“Oh God, please just let me eat you out already!” You beg.

“Another fail. A president cannot be this impatient, your self-discipline is basically nonexistent.”

“Fuck. How do I have any self-control when all I see is your butt cheeks wiggling in front of my eyes?” You groan in protest. “Plus... your ass looks so pretty and juicy...” You add on weakly.

“That’s valid to be fair.” Yujin seems pleased from your compliment, “Don’t fuck up.” She finally slides her thong off and just throws it on your stomach. 

Your skin can immediately feel how moist the fabric had become.

Yujin then sinks her glistening, shaved pussy onto your waiting face. You open your mouth wide to acquire her alluring taste. Her vanilla-scented body lotion, the salt from the practice and her arousal all mix together as they ruthlessly attack your nerves.

“Hmm, Mommy...” you mumble as you keep lapping her folds hungrily “You taste so good.”

“Of course I do.” She answers you proudly. “And now you remember the honorifics, good boy… Now serve me well, let me feel good and maybe I’ll consider letting you cum.” Yujin orders.

“Yes mommy, yes! I want it so bad.” You immediately dive back to licking her wet, warm folds. You quickly locate her clit and give it a long lap with your tongue.

“Mmph...” Yujin moans, she sounds like heaven. Her leg muscles visibly tightens as you keep focusing on her most sensitive part.

Your cock is already a leaking mess down below as Yujin occasionally teases you with her feet. To urge to cum starts to become unbearable. You then accelerate your oral movement. Your lips open apart, taking in Yujin entirely.

You stick your tongue through her wet lips with ease; your finger now rubs her clit in tight little circles from below.

“Mmph... oh! Fuck!” Maybe a strong woman like Yujin herself has weakness. She soon succumbs from the pleasure and loses her balance.

“*SPLAT*” Yujin falls down onto your face.

“%#*+^”&$}]%!” You inhale in panic as your vision suddenly blacks out.

“Fuck, are you ok?” She finally picks herself up from your face after sneakily grinding her pussy one more time on your mouth.

“Oh shit, you almost smothered me.” You face is already full of Yujin’s juice.

Yujin purrs, “Even so you’ll be gone happily.” She switches up the position, lying sideways besides you and supports herself with her elbow instead.

You don’t wait, quickly bury your face back in between her thighs. Yujin now starts stroking your ignored cock with her foot again.

You moan like crazy as her soft, perfectly arched foot keeps gliding up and down your cock. Your hum vibrates through her pussy, Yujin hums happily.

“Mmph Yujin, I’m so fucking close, I wanna cum.” You mumble between her folds.

“Fuck, I’m close too... maybe I just found a better use of your silly mouth~” Yujin’s voice is slightly cracking as you project your desperate  urge to cum onto fucking her pussy with your mouth.

You grab her foot and holds it in place, before thrusting along her buttery sole. Your breath starts to become uneven and hell, your heart hammers your chest frantically.

It’s similar for Yujin.

“Hmnnn, mmph...” Yujin’s moaning is like sweet poison, her fingers slide in to rub her clit as you leave wet licks everywhere on her pussy.

“Oh fuck, Yujin, I’m coming!” The pleasure is overwhelming. But Yujin comes first.

“Fuck!” A high-pitched cry comes out of her throat as she reaches her orgasm in your sucking mouth. Yujin’s legs squeeze your head tightly; her walls flutter violently between your lips. Her juices squirts all over your face, dropping down to the mats as she grabs your hair to keep your mouth on her pussy through her climax.

You immediately cum after her. Spurts and spurts of your own nectar burst through your slit. The first few shots go through Yujin’s toes and land on your stomach. And the rest of your cum flows between her toes, turning that glossy black into white.

You’re left between Yujin’s legs, chest heaving from the orgasm. She scoops up the mess on your stomach with her toes while smiling at you mischievously.

“Fuck... Yujin, that was intense.” You look at the woman above you who had just milked you using only her foot — the very same woman you had tried to dethrone just moments ago.

“Hold on tight, pretty boy. We’re far from done with you and your naughty ass.” Yujin smirks as she stands up and presses her cum-covered foot onto your face.

“Clean it up for Mommy,” she orders.

Your face burns with humiliation, but your mouth opens anyway. Yujin pushes her high-arched foot between your lips.

You carefully take her toes into your mouth and lick them clean one by one, tasting the bitter evidence of how quickly your ambition had crumbled before her.

“Hmm... Good boy, cleaning your own mess off Mommy’s foot. Where’s the brave challenger who wanted to kick me off the president’s position, huh?” Yujin teases, giving you an innocent puppy face.

Your heart races faster as you see her effortless, sweet smile — the same smile she wore after cumming on your face. “M... maybe I do enjoy being under you sometimes, Yujin...” you mumble once you’ve finished licking your cum off her foot.

“You’re being very honest, and I love honest boys.” Yujin giggles. “Now go get my bag over there on the bench. I’m not done with you yet.”

“Wait, what? There’s still more?” Your half-soft cock is apparently more excited than you are, as it quickly stands up again.

“You’re hard again? For real?” She coos. “I’m just asking you to bring my training equipment over and you’re already this horny.”

“Ah, for real? Then it’s actual Taekwondo training? Bruh!” You protest in disappointment.

“Go. Don’t make me repeat myself.” Yujin gives your ass a light side kick, sending you stumbling forward as the embarrassing slap echoes through the empty dojang.

Her navy-blue sports bag sits on the wooden bench beside the dojang. You try to pick it up with one hand, expecting it to be light, but the surprising weight makes you grab it with both hands.

“What’s in here? Does she really carry a thirty-pound bag every day? It feels like there are water bottles in it too,” you mutter while slowly walking back to Yujin.

“That took you quite a while,” Yujin says, her tone flat.

“You can’t blame me! Your bag is heavy as fuck... what do you even have in there?” you complain.

“Don’t ask questions. Now kneel for Mommy,” Yujin smirks.

“F... fine. Mommy.” You obey, dropping to your knees.

“Open it.”

You place the bag in front of you and unzip it.

“What the fuck!” You fall backwards in shock.

“Hehehe~” Yujin giggles proudly.

“Otherwise… what else did you think I used to train my weak club members?”

You stare at the items inside Yujin’s bag, eyes growing wider at the scene before you. You tilt the unzipped bag over, the items inside fall onto the dojang floor one by one.

Yujin sits down onto the foam mat, legs crossed. She rests her chin on her hands like a professor that’s ready to give a lecture.

“Go on, baby boy~ Don’t be shy! Ask mommy nicely what each one is for?” Yujin says sweetly.

“W…what is this for?” You pick up this string of red grape-sized anal beads. “T…this is definitely NOT a skewer of Tanghulu.” You swallow nervously.

“Oh? This? This is for your pelvic floor strength training! What’s wrong with that? You need a strong core for better Taekwondo!” Yujin says with a straight face.

“What the fuck?” You scream to yourself, but you don’t dare to say it out loud.

“Then what is this? This has absolutely NOTHING to do with Taekwondo!” You hold up a leather harness and a… black strap-on with your shaking hands.

“Who says they don’t? They are both very essential equipment I use to train endurance and obedience to your seniors! Very crucial leadership skills, aren’t they?” Yujin says smugly.

“O…ok.” You look up and Yujin looks at you harmlessly. “Then I assume this is for… protection?” You grab a liter-sized plastic bottle of water-based lube from the ground; the bubbles are still visible from the fall earlier as it makes a thick, glug-glug sound that echoes a bit too loudly.

“Exactly! You get the point.” She doesn’t even fucking blink. “I don’t want my club members getting hurt during the intense training.” Yujin gives a look at the harness and strap-on, “Lubrication is the key, you know.”

Your heart races faster, “And how about the blindfold?”

“Muscle memory, very important to hit your target without looking.”

“And the fucking leg-spreader?”

“Oh, come on! How can you execute overhead kicks if you can’t even spread you legs wide? It is Taekwondo in the end of the day!” Yujin nods like she’s approving her own point.

“Fine…” You sigh. “The final one, definitely for mommy yourself to train your focus? When facing distractions from the opponent?” You lift the almost-empty bag upside-down, a pink, vibrator falls onto your waiting palm. Why is it a bit sticky?

“Oh shit. That’s my personal toy. I forgot to take it out this morning. Oopsie~” Yujin scratches her cheek with an embarrassed smile.

“Damn!” Yujin snatches the toy with the precision of a master, her fingers grazing your crotch with enough deliberate pressure to make you gasp out loud.

“Hmm... which one should I try on you today?” Yujin’s finger taps on her cheek as she starts to decide what type of training you need.

“From what I’ve been observing, you tend to surrender quite easily, huh? I think this will be perfect for you.” Yujin murmurs while picking up that red string of anal beads.

“A... are you sure about that?” You panic.

“Aw~ have you never tried it before?” She raises her eyebrow with a devilish grin.

“No? Why would I ever put stuff in my ass?”

“You’ll know exactly why today. Now stand up and back against the wall.” Yujin orders.

“Yes...” you obey.

Yujin sways her hips as she walks towards you slowly. With every step her bare feet take on the mat, your heart pounds harder against your ribs.

Her eyes are dangerous even when she’s smiling, a hint of hunger is hidden beneath that puppy face. “I wanna see how long you can last before you start begging me.”

“I... I don’t know?” You try to avoid eye contact because you know you’ll lose control at the exact moment her gaze meets yours.

“Maybe… two minutes? Hmm?” Yujin half closes her eyes as whispers; her warm breath brushing your face. You’re already itching with need.

She wraps her fingers around your newly hardened length and gives it one long, lazy stroke.

“Mmph…”

“Good boy,” she purrs, resting one arm on your shoulder while holding up the string of red anal beads with her other hand. “Get these nice and wet for me.”

You open your mouth obediently. Yujin slowly pushes the first bead past your lips. “Come on, use your tongue. They need to be slick before I put them inside you.”

You feel your ears burning as your tongue touches the cool texture of the silicone. Yujin’s free hand roams over your bare ass, squeezing lightly.

“Hmm… It feels wrong,” you murmur.

“Shhh…” She leans in, biting your earlobe gently. “It only feels wrong because you’re still pretending you don’t want it.”

She slides a second bead into your mouth as her voice drops into a sweet whisper. “But deep down, you’re dying to be a good boy for mommy… aren’t you?”

“Oh fuck… yes… I’m mommy’s good boy…” You close your eyes, letting this strange pleasure take you.

“Thwack”

The sound of Yujin flicking open the bottle of lube drags you back to the dojang.

She positions herself right in front of you, pinning your back against the cold, concrete wall. A few strands of her hair stick onto her forehead from the sweat, but her gaze is still with pure mischief.

Yujin pulls the beads out of your mouth; a thin string of your saliva connects the tip to your lips. She wipes the beads on your chest, ignore your mumbling protest.

“I’m very kind to my club member, especially the weak ones who need extra proper trainings…” Yujin squeezes a pea-sized amount of lube from the bottle as it lands perfectly onto the red beads. She reaches behind you, knocking your backdoor with the tip.

Your body tenses at the cold, slippery sensation of the lube.

“Chill, baby boy. It’s only gonna hurt if your pelvic floor muscles don’t relax. Or if it actually hurts anytime, tell mommy to stop and I won’t force you. Consent is sexy, you know. It’s your call.” Yujin mutters, her voice like a sweet poison.

“Yes mommy, please keep going.” You take a deep breath and try to relax your muscles. Yujin pushes the first bead through the tight ring; a strange and taboo feeling immediately emerges.

Your eyes shut close as you experience a weird fullness - instead of pain - from the bottom of your body. “Good boy, taking it in nicely for mommy~.” Yujin smiles at you proudly.

She quickly pushes in one more bead with a slightly bigger size before lifting your chin up and commands you to open your eyes.

“See that mirror over there?” Yujin smirks.

“Y…yes?” You stare at the mirror that’s on the other side of dojang and realize how the “challenger” is now being pinned to the wall pathetically and how Yujin towers over you with her dominance figure.

“Good. Because I want you to see very clearly what I’m about to do to your poor little cock.” Yujin nods as she stretches her waist. Her juices are still glistening on her inner thighs from when she came on your face mercilessly earlier.

Then, she spreads her juicy thighs and slides your fully hard cock right between them.

“Mmph…” You moan instantly as her warm, wet muscles tightly wrap around your shaft.

“Don’t just moan like a little bitch boy, tell me what do you see in that mirror?” Yujin orders.

“Your ass.”

“OUCH!” Certainly, Yujin is not satisfied with your answer so she squeezes your cock hard with her thighs and pushes one more bead into you.

“You’re helpless, my ass? At least be more specific, huh? I know you already don’t wanna be the president anymore, but public speaking is still a very important skill nevertheless. Trust.” Yujin winks at you with that innocent puppy eyes.

“Your ass… it looks like it’s the only thing in the mirror. Juicy, so fucking juicy. It’s squeezing me so nice and tight.” You confess as you keep staring at how Yujin’s curve flexes in the mirror surrounded by the faint sunlight through the curtain. Her slick thighs glisten in the reflection as it ruthlessly traps your poor cock in between.

“Hmm… not bad. See? I told ya you had the talent, just need more training. Now, keep that energy and tell mommy… Why is that boy in the mirror blushing redder than the beads in his ass?” Yujin drops the bomber question casually.

“W…what?” The embarrassment makes you dazed.

“Is it because it’s hot here?” She suggests, but you take the bait regardless.

“It’s because you’re too hot…mommy.” You surrender to Yujin’s force and her body.

“Ah, so in the end of the day, you didn’t want my position, you wanted my attention.” Yujin says with a playful tone.

“Maybe. I can’t think anymore.” Your words dissolve as Yujin begins properly fucking you with her thighs.

You try to distract yourself from the inevitable urge to cum between Yujin’s legs, but every piece of rational thoughts is being shattered by the loop her muscles tightening then relaxing. The wet, slick sound of your cock sliding in and out of Yujin’s legs are drowning your own frantic heartbeat.

And damn, Yujin kisses you.

She leans in to take in your lips aggressively with hers. Her tongue immediately swirls around yours, claiming every bit of your space. You’re overwhelmed by the pleasure that’s everywhere on your body – the friction down below, the itch on your lips and the fullness from the inside. You cannot resist anymore and you collapse onto the wall.

Well maybe you forgot you’ve got that thing in you. I mean the beads. An additional one passes through your entrance and the tip finds that mushy spot in your rectum. You gasp out loud as you suddenly want to pee really badly.

“Shit… I’m gonna cum!” You jolt.

“Chill, that’s prostate simulation.” Yujin calmly explains.

“What? How do you know? You don’t even have one!” You object.

“Need me to remind you how many times I’ve done this?” She laughs proudly. “Plus, if you study your biology with ten percent of the effort than memorizing that Club Constitution bullshit? You’ll know exactly what it is doing.”

“Fuck…” Yujin is right, she’s obvious very experienced in terms of the pelvic floor muscles training so you decide to give in. You start to get used to this odd yet pleasant fullness down below.

But damn, the sensations are building rapidly. With Yujin milking your shaft with her thighs? Beads stimulating your prostate? And her occasional tease on your bare nipples? You know you aren’t going to last long. But it’d be a real pity if you just let go of this moment that easily.

You try to look somewhere else in the dojang to distract your attention, but unfortunately the mirror just traps your vision like a magnet. You clearly see how Yujin’s muscles flex each time she takes your cock in between her thighs, her alluring curve oscillates along with the movement pivoting at your shaft. You witness how your sensitive tip is sliding in and out between her leg and how your itching length is throbbing under her force. It’s just too much.

Yujin knows exactly what you’re trying. “Baby boy, mommy is only using my legs and you’re shaking like this. Try to think about if it’s my pussy? Hmm?” She gives you an evil suggestion. Don’t go that way, it’s dangerous to think about it right now.

“Imagine how wet and tight my pussy is going to wrap around your little cock, hmm? I bet you’re already thinking about me pinning you onto the mat and ride you senseless, aren’t you?” Yujin keeps teasing you.

“Oh shit. Yujin… please don’t! Imma come very soon if you keep saying this. Ugh.” Your eyes are already rolling to the back of your head.

“Oh, really?” She pretends to be surprised although she definitely isn’t. “You’re doing good for mommy, maybe your endurance is not any worse than you peers. Hmm?”

You groan as a weak response.

“I bet your filthy little head is already losing its mind just thinking about how tight I am, isn’t it? Tell me if you want it ~” She continues.

“Y...yes, Yujin. Please let me...”

“Too bad. Maybe you really want to, but I’m about to drain your poor balls with my legs. I doubt it’ll have anything left for my pussy.” Yujin giggles as she pushes you even tighter to the wall.

“Hmmph...” It is dangerously close; your cock is throbbing madly between Yujin’s thighs. Your palms grab onto Yujin’s juicy ass and you start to thrust forward to chase for more stimulation.

She can tell you’re losing it, but her posture is perfectly straight. Yujin continues her rhythmic squeezing and flexing her thighs like a true master punishing her naughty student.

“Mommy... mommy I’m gonna cum!” You bury your face into her neck, scream for release.

But she stops abruptly and yanks your hands off her ass, smiling at you teasingly.

“Fuck. Oh.... fuck.” Your legs shake violently and your back collapse onto the wall behind you from the sudden edge. Before you can react and complain, Yujin swiftly picks up the pink vibrator on the floor - the one which she used and forgot to take it out of the bag.

“I think I decided that you can last a bit longer, hehe.” Yujin gives you a puppy smile while she effortlessly grabs your wrists and pin them above you head. “No jerking yourself off, bitch boy~ only mommy can make you cum.”

“Shit...” You mumble as your hips buck forward into nothing.

“Relax, you’re leaking like a fountain again.” Yujin spreads your slick precum on the tip with her fingers, and the stimulation turns you into a sobbing mess.

She pushes the finger into your mouth, forcing you to taste your own lust as she turns on the vibrator to pleasure herself.

You feel like a century had passed until Yujin finally turns around and slides your cock back in between her thighs. Her bouncy ass presses firmly into your abdomen as she puts the vibrator right against her clit.

The vibration conducts through her body onto your tip, causing more precum oozing out of your clit onto her thighs.

For a moment, the dojang is becoming the mixture of filthy noises.

The higher pitched moaning from Yujin as she draws little circles on her clit.

The more breathy and broken groans from your desperate mouth begging for a release.

The lower, steady buzz of the pink vibrator in Yujin’s hand, stimulating both her body and yours at the same time.

And that slick, wet gliding of your cock — lubricated by your precum and Yujin’s juices — sliding between her heavenly thighs.

You open your eyes and the scene in the mirror is the final thing you see before you lose it all.

Your shaft pushing in and out of Yujin’s legs, as she bites her own lips to try to contain the pleasure. The mixture of her own juice and yours are dripping down her inner thighs, making them glistening in the afternoon dojang. You see how Yujin’s facial expression starts to get a bit overwhelmed by the vibrator. You can’t resist for even a second longer.

“Look at your slutty face, huh? Enjoy getting put in your place by me. Hmm?” Yujin knows. She pulls the string onto the anal beads and pulls them out all at one, making sure you’re fully surrendered to the pleasure for your mommy.

“Fuck, mommy... I’m coming!” Along with a breathy cry, your lower body shakes violently and you release for a second time onto Yujin’s gorgeous frame.

Her thighs clamp onto your cock tightly as you burst strings after strings of your juice between her legs, painting her pale skin even whiter.

“G... Good boy, just came for mommy again. Mmph... your cock is doing its job for me.” Yujin murmurs as she turns up the vibrator.

She slides two fingers into her pussy after finally letting go of your wrists, her moans are starting to get more audible. Your liberated wrists automatically wrap around Yujin’s chest as you dare yourself to grab her tits and brushes her nipples with your still shaky fingers.

Her cheeks become pinker as her nipples are standing up from your touching. She doesn’t stop you as she’s getting close too. You lean in kiss her neck and her soft skin under her ears.

“Mmph... Good boy, you know to make mommy feel good too?” You answer by planting more open-mouthed kiss into her earlobe and caressing her swollen nipples. Yujin still traps your soften shaft between her legs and you can feel they’re getting shaky - even for a master like Yujin herself. Maybe you found her weakness! Next time when you fight her, you should pinch her nipples and stuff a vibrator into her folds.

Well, you doubt if you ever want to fight her though... And Yujin soon succumbs to the pleasure; her moans are cracking as she toggles the pink egg into the max.

“Mmph... fuck! I’m coming!” Yujin finally releases herself again under the strong stimulation, her folds are drowning by her flooding juice dripping all the way down her leg onto the mat.

“Shit... that felt so good.” Yujin sits onto the mat as you also give in to your shaky legs. You’re still yet to recover from the two orgasms in a row but Yujin’s posture is already straight. It is at this moment, you realize you fucked up.

“Shit, we are screwed! Look at the mat!” You pant, pointing at the stains on the foam - Yujin and you just recklessly released yourselves onto the training mat without a second thought.

“Shit!” Yujin grabs a pack of napkin amongst the equipments on the floor and throws it to you. “We better clean ourselves first, we’re fucking messy... then you’re gonna organize the stuff. Go go go!” She commands.

“Fine.” You start to wipe the nectar off your legs and stand up. But your weak legs fail you. Told you not to skip leg day.

“Hahaha why are your leg shaking like this? How can you do Taekwondo if you can’t even stand” Yujin taunts, but with a big dimpled smile on her face.

“I...I don’t need to be good at Taekwondo! I only need to be a good boy for mommy!” You find the right answer like a true fucking professional.

“Aw~ how cute! I’m very satisfied at your performance.” Yujin winks at you amusingly.

You finally stand up and walk towards the shower in the locker room.

“Clean yourself, baby boy. I’ll take care of the mat and join you later.” Yujin giggles behind you, but wait, what does she mean by joining you?

Is it gonna be another round? You smirk, lips curving upwards happily.

“And no, you are not fucking me in the shower.” Yujin suddenly shouts like she knows exactly what are the filthy scenes in your mind right now.

“Wait what? I don’t know what you’re talking about?” You speed up walking before she can see how red your face is.

“Well... you aren’t fucking me, but that doesn’t mean the other way around is not gonna happen.... damn look at that ass... hehehe” Yujin licks her lips behind you as she reaches out for something on the ground.

You let the warm water embrace you, washing off the evidence that you just came twice onto your President in the dojang. And Yujin gives you the impression that it’s not the first time she had done this - she’s really a master at it. You splash water onto your face to clean, but then you hear the door of the locker room being opened.

A few seconds later, Yujin brushes open the edge of the curtain of your stall and peeks into the steamy shower. “D... damn, at least notify me before coming in! That scared me off.” You protest, but only to see Yujin winking at you mischievously with her big eyes.

“I’ve got some surprise for you, you wanna see?” She teases, but of course she isn’t asking for your opinion. Yujin quickly yanks open the curtain and your heart immediately starts to pound your ribs like how Yujin is going to pound you.

You are thinking that because you see she is standing there naked, well this isn’t the important part. She is standing there naked with her cock hard and ready to go.

Yujin’s tall frame is now at the full display; her small but perky tits are like cherries on top of her athletic body. The muscles of her legs tell you who’s the real expert at dealing with situations like this. There is nothing but a mysterious smile on her face that you cannot guess the meaning behind. You gulp staring at the leather harness and the black silicon strap-on, a strange sense of anticipation starts to override the fear of the unknown that you even forget to cover your hardening manhood with your hands.

“Fuck… Maybe I am going to let her fuck me. Maybe…” Your mind screams.

Yujin’s hips sway, she catwalks slowly and suggestively while stroking the strap-on with her hand. “Baby boy~” She finally stops before you and leans down – her hair falls to both sides of her ear and your back hits the wall as you try to retreat.

“Aw~ why are you running away from mommy?” Yujin smirks.

“I… I thought we’re calling it a day? You said we’re not fucking in the shower… I… I’m already drained!” You stutter; desire mixed with exhaustion from the earlier orgasms – yet you don’t know if Yujin is doing what you think she’ll be doing to you.

“Poor boy, it must be that you came too hard on mommy that you misheard it. I said you’re not gonna fuck me in the shower, but I never said anything about the other way around, hmm?” Yujin is full on laughing right now but her grip onto your shoulders is reminding you there is no escape. “Now be honest. You don’t really want to stop, do you?”

Hell, why would you want to escape in the first place?

You don’t even hesitate. The words burst out before you process them. “…No, Mommy.”

You gather your courage and lean in to kiss her, she’s surprised but quickly adjusts her posture. Yujin pins your back onto the metal handle on the wall that prevents people from slipping in the shower. The cold metal sends shiver down your spine, or is it because Yujin’s strap-on is pressing onto your abdomen?

A brief moment of your tongues swirling in each other’s mouth, Yujin thinks you’re ready. She picks up the bottle of water-based lubricant resting on the steamy floor. (A/N: Please refrain from using silicone-based lube with silicone toys if you don’t want your backdoor to burn…)

“First time?” Yujin breaks away from the kiss, giving you a wet and alluring look.

“Mmph… yea… I hope it’s not gonna hurt.” You mumble.

“Good… your first time belongs to only mommy.” Yujin whispers into your ear, flicking open the bottle and squeezes a generous amount of lube onto her strap-on.

“Ass up for mommy.” She orders.

You oblige, your hands hold on to the metal handle and arch your back, your backdoor is exposed to Yujin as your heart rate accelerates for what’s coming next.

“Relax… it’s going to feel good. And damn, you’ve got a nice ass… Such a perfect little slut for Mommy.” Yujin smacks your cheeks playfully and she spreads your ass open.

“Mmph… yes.” A cracked moan comes out of your throat as she slides a lubricated finger through the tight ring.

“Damn… you’re tight, taking me in so well.” Yujin commends.

Your back arches even higher instinctively, allowing Yujin to slide in one more finger to test the water. Her fingers scissor inside you, making you groan each time they brush through that mushy spot of yours.

Yujin chuckles, satisfied as you let out several weak whimpers.

“I think you’re ready to receive some training on obedience in front your seniors, wanted to challenge me huh?” She pulls her fingers out of your boypussy, leaving you itch and clenching around nothing.

“See? You can still chicken out right now.” Yujin teases as she presses against your back but the strap-on is already hovering between your cheeks.

You shake your head frantically, taking short breaths but you both know you’re more than ready for it.

Yujin lines up the thick head of the strap-on and pushes into you slowly. Your tight ring gets stretch open – a little bit of burning at first but immediately follows is a strange sense of fullness. The lube makes the process smoother as half of the length is already deep into you by the time you realize to breathe again.

“Hmmph… so tight… You’re taking mommy’s cock like you’re made for it, little slut.” Yujin murmurs as she grabs your hip with one of her hands and the other lazily stroking your half-soft shaft. But it is quickly recovering from both Yujin’s dirty talks and the sensation from behind.

After making sure you’re taking her in nicely like her boy slut, Yujin starts her thrusting.

She pushes in deep in rhythmic pulses, making sure each one of the thrusts sends sparks through your prostate. Your moans mixed with broken cries echo off the tiles full of neediness. Yujin does not slow down as she keeps fucking you with a control power like a true Taekwondo master she is – right on the target, rapid but steady. The pleasure is still building despite your exhausting body and almost-empty balls. But Yujin’s relentless stimulation on your prostate simply makes resisting not an option.

“Tell me, who owns this ass?” Yujin grins as she slaps your cheeks with force, but the pain is soon getting overpowered by the will to submit.

“Mmph… fuck, it’s all yours Yujin… I’m mommy’s boy slut!” You scream.

“Aw~ Really? I thought you really hated me. But now look at who is getting fucked by me with shaky legs. Hehehe~”

Your final bit of rational thoughts is stripped away as Yujin grabs your hips with both hands and ram into you in a relentless fashion. Your cock is springing between your legs; dripping precum down to the slippery shower floor.

Yujin applies even more lube, letting it drip all over your bare ass down to your legs. But you’re at the edge of the cliff.

“Oh fuck… fuck… I’m gonna come.” You moan.

“Really? You’re so weak… I thought you could last longer, (sighs) come for mommy then~ drain those balls for me.” Yujin giggles but she never stops her slow but steady thrusts into you.

You follow your instinct and want to stroke yourself through that finishing line, but the moment hits a bit too fast – you reach your climax handsfree and your length twitches weakly down below and sprays all the remaining juice you’ve got onto the floor.

“M... mommy!” You scream out loud as Yujin pushes deep in for the final time and the tip of the strap-on applies huge pressure right onto your prostate. You are a goner; the whole world converges to that single point of contact where Yujin shows you exactly who you belong to.

“Good boy~ you did so well for mommy, took me in nice and deep.” She pulls out, praising you while padding your wet hair from the shower. You collapse onto the ground, leaning on the wall in the steamy air of the stall. Yujin caresses your hair slowly, “No more dethroning me?”

“I… I only want you to fuck me…” You confess, tone with nothing but pure submission.

“Ah, that’s my good boy~ You’re really nicely trained right now, mommy is really proud of you.” Yujin pouts, while nodding proudly. “Maybe that little body of yours is not built for fighting and Taekwondo…”

“W… what?” You are confused.

“It’s built for serving your mommy, hmm? Gosh, I never knew there is such a sub little boy in my club. ‘I’m mommy’s boy slut?’ That’s lame as fuck, but well it was also kinda cute.” She smiles.

You face becomes as red as an actual skewer of Tanghulu, “I… I never knew I needed all this too… until today.” You mumble.

“You definitely do, maybe it’s more than need, even. Now another bad boy becomes a good boy.”

“W…what? What the fuck do you mean by another?” You don’t get it.

“There is this naught student in my class… that fucked up his Finals and went to me and begged me to let him pass.” Yujin sighs.

“Huh? Aren’t you an undergraduate? What are you talking about?” Your eyes open wide, looking at the woman before you yet you still refuse to acknowledge the fact that she’s a teacher.

“I take that as a compliment, baby boy~ You’re implying that I look young? Thank you so much!” She seems happy.

“Hey stop joking, you seriously teach?”

“I do. Well, I was messing with you, I am not that older than you. I just got my degree when I was in high school. On Pocanomics by the way.”

“What even is that subject? And don’t you have to go to university and shit?”

“It’s basically gambling, if you will. But honestly, it was a fascinating subject and since it relies so much on luck? You need luck to get your degrees! I got it in one try in a lottery, so here I am now. Luck is skills.” Yujin laughs in a puppy face with full pride.

“You… you got your degree from a lottery? What type of bullshit is this study?” You shout out loud.

“Trust me baby boy, that’s the most normal thing of the subject… hey! Why are you questioning your mommy?”

“S…sorry mommy.”

“Alright, get yourself cleaned up. I’ll go pack up the stuff first.” Yujin stands up and stretches her long legs, ready to go back to the dojang.

“W…wait! Mommy Yujin!” You hesitate for a second, but eventually call her name as she’s pacing out.

“What’s up?”

“W…when is the next training session? I think I wanna make an appointment…” The end of the sentence is barely audible due to the embarrassment.

“Gosh… you’re really asking it already… Fine! Maybe I’ll even let you pick what toys I’m going to use on you since you took me in so well today.” Yujin doesn’t turn around, but that’s enough to make your heart race again.

Mid spring, I wander on the streets of Los Angeles to enjoy my long- awaited Spring break. The cloudy cool air brushes my face, Southern California is not always full of sunshine, sometimes the sky is also dim.

Hollywood is still crowded with tourists; I didn’t join their party because I’ve shown multiple family friends around the area to the point where I can basically memorize the orders of the names on the Wall of Fame.

L.A. isn’t always my place; I live in a city where many people would have no idea where it is until I say “It's a 20-minute drive from downtown L.A.” Right now, I am back here, to this place where I mostly visit to relax and to temporarily forget.

The winter quarter had been cruel, failing a class or not is not as important as getting this break ASAP. Fortunately, I am a dedicated DIVE (IVE fandom name) and blasting their songs can restore some of my lost energy – especially right after they released their second full album REVIVE+.

ODD is my favorite song amongst them despite it not being the title track. The lyrics are very poetic, beautifully written. The message of embracing imperfection motivated me out of the self-doubt swamp after failing the first exam of the quarter. “Not bad, this imperfect feeling… asymmetrical lines are beautiful.” I murmur to myself while staring at the asymmetric letter “F” on my Canvas portal.

It’d be nice if I could write a fiction using the lyrics as an anchor… Anyways.

I keep walking, letting the breeze caress my face and my body. My hair is a bit messy, swaying in the wind as I paid little to no attention throughout the quarter to take care of them. Surrounding me is this messy crowd, people from all over the country chit-chat as they blend in to be a part of the City of Angels. How I wish I can see my angels one day?

That day is way sooner than I ever could’ve thought.

-

My phone in the pocket buzzes, a two-line message from my best friend Henry.

“Yo bro, Bob and I are coming to pick you up in a bit! Send us ur address when ur ready.”

Both of them are dedicated DIVEs like myself, and as they now come back from their universities at the east coast during Spring Break, we decided to hang out in Korea Town here in L.A. All three of us had never seen IVE in person before, nor had any of us experienced a concert before. So, now it is a good chance to talk about the plan that takes the virginity of two “first-timers” on one occasion.

I’ll be standing at the Starbucks right next to that In-n-Out, see you in a bit.

-

A few minutes later, I see Bob’s car drifting towards me, Henry waving at me exaggeratedly with both of his arms at the passenger’s seat. I quickly hop on to the backseat before the car behind us even reacts with a honk. Well, that's downtown traffic for you.

“Yo! Long time no see! The last time we met was already…last time! Maybe it was last summer?” Henry greets me with his iconic, yapper-spirited energy.

“Ay I know right? How’s the photocard collection quest going for your hot “wife” Naoi Rei? You said you’re gonna get 100 of them by the next time we meet!” I roast Henry.

A lovesick grin grows on his face, “Ah… about that… almost there…How about you? I bet you’re still watching your I AM Liz fan-cam every day.”

“And that Baddie Yujin clip as well. Correction, it’s ‘Mommy Yujin’.” Bob adds on, hands still on the steering wheel.”

“Fuck you both,” I shoot back, laughing. “Dimplez ship is the best ship. I’m not horny like you two. Go back to drooling over your Gaeul ODD performance video, Bob.”

Bob smirks. “Hard to deny. Gaeul killed it. Even you said ODD was your favorite song from the album too, didn’t you?”

The banter flows easily as we drive toward Korea Town, palm trees swaying outside the windows. The cool breeze through the cracked window calms my nerves. Everything feels peaceful.

Until we turn the corner into the K-Town block.

The sidewalk is packed. We try our best to squeeze our car into a miniscule streetside parking spot before all three of us walked out of the car. What us three saw shocked us. In front of the Korean restaurant we normally hit up, there’re groups of people waiting outside. Many of them have cameras of different models; some pace back and forth impatiently, others stand in tight clusters, whispering and constantly checking their phones. The atmosphere feels… off.

“Yo, since when did it become another TikTok influencer’s place? I’ve never seen so many people waiting here.” My brain is full of question marks.

“I don’t know, maybe it just got viral or something,” Bob mutters.

“Fuck it… plan changed! They said two hours, we ain’t waiting that long…even though they got good banchan. Let’s just get some fried chicken instead.” Henry comes back from talking to the shop owner, face full of disappointment.

I sigh, starting to trudge back to our parked car across the street. I take a glance at the groups of people waiting outside of the restaurant. Someone has a stabilizer rig that looks like it costs more than the meal itself. All that for a 30-second Instagram Reels? When we walk past a young man in sunglasses, I overhear him on the phone, “They’re this popular even in L.A.??? No way I can make it… I drove two hours down the south!”

Who are “they”? Those TikTok vloggers and Instagram “GRWM” girls? And why are they popular in Los Angeles in the first place? I can’t recognize any of them. I think to myself. You see, this is one of the things I dislike about social media culture. One big name says a restaurant is good, everyone starts to hop on the bandwagon. Man, I really miss the old times when us three just drive by and have a quick, authentic Korean style lunch. They got really nice banchan and kimchi jjigae. They remind me of how we just regularly came to this place to hang out before we went to college in different cities last year.

Henry and Bob seemed to be upset as well, but there is always a Plan B, and Plan B today is to get some Korean style fried chicken at the next block – no lines at all. We decide to order to go as there is a park right near the restaurant area, and it’ll be a huge waste of the California sunshine so why not turn it into a picnic and eat outdoors?

It takes about ten minutes before the cashier waves at us for collection, so I walk back into the store from outside. “Thank you so much! By the way, do you know when that Korean restaurant down the street got popular? They said the line is two hours today!” I casually chat with the guy.

“Hm? I don’t know, maybe just a group of tourists today? I never knew you have to wait that long?” He seems confused as well while handing me our order.

“Well, then it’s God’s message for us to try some chicken today.” I give him a genuine smile before walking out towards Henry and Bob.

We settle our stuff on a wooden bench in the park; a few geese idle on the grass like they’re the owner of this place. Henry unties the plastic bag and takes out the paper box with our fried chicken — garlic gochujang as Henry likes it. Well, as a Korean himself, maybe he has the final say in deciding the order.

We immediately sink to the bench, pick up a few pairs of plastic gloves to start our feast.

“What do you think, Mr. Korean? Is it authentic?” Bob mutters with his mouth already stuffed with a big chunk of chicken, dipped in that sweet, spicy sauce.

“Mhm… it is decent, the gochujang tastes a bit like my mom’s cooking.” Henry responds after taking a bite.

“Your mom? Or your mommy Rei?” I of course cannot let go the chance to tease him; I smirk as Henry’s ear turns red once that name hits him.

“Damn… Surely I’d be more than happy to try out her cooking, just…no chance!”

“You’d like to taste HER, not her cooking.” Bob adds on with a devilish grin.

“You two horny asses, and you?” Henry points at me, pretending to be angry despite his smile that almost reaches his ears. “Bob, did you know that this man”, he turns to Bob, “Wrote a whole-ass 15 thousand words fanfiction about his ‘Mommy Yujin’? I bet your keyboard is already auto-correcting “Monday” into “Mommy” huh?”

It is now my turn to turn my face into a tomato. Well, I could argue it is because of the spice from the chicken, but all of us know that it is a blatant lie.

“It... it was just one fic! It was for... for the readers! And I used it as a metaphor for her ... leadership!” I defend myself, weakly.

“All caps. You were the one typing ‘she’s so damn hot, I even wanna call her mommy’ in Discord! Stop pretending you’re not down bad for this girl.” Henry adds on, I know I lost at the moment he mentioned the Discord group chat - where we had and still have a lot of  ‘honest confessions’. Well, you can’t blame me for that! Unlike Henry and Bob, I don’t have a girlfriend. So, it is quite natural that I need some ways to ease my loneliness, aren’t I?

Although it being the truth, tactical decline is the core of the banter. “I’m not down bad at all! Y’all know me well, my number one bias is Liz. I love her, purely, respectfully.” I claim.

“This guy is playing innocent now, too fake,” Bob sighs exaggeratedly while grabbing another piece of chicken from the box. “Liz fic when?”

“Never!” I almost shout immediately, “You know me, I... I just can’t even think about those scenes with her. I’d imagine wrapping her with a blanket and kissing her forehead instead.”

“Okay okay, whatever you say, pure hearted fanboy.” Bob exclaims.

“Hey guys, you know IVE is in L.A. now, right?” Henry suddenly asks.

“Oh yeah, I saw Yujin’s Story earlier today.” Bob responds casually.

“Wait, what the fuck? For real?” I almost choke on the chicken as I heard it, “but well, we ain’t gotta see them, there’re like ten million people around the metropolitan area.”

“Plus, they’re probably eating somewhere high-end, like a VIP room and tinted glass minivan type of stuff. They ain’t coming to Koreatown for food they can eat every day.” Henry says.

“If we ACTUALLY meet them, who’s gonna lose it all first?” I casually let the question slip: it’s gonna be another round of banter, but that’s why we love yapping with each other. “Henry is probably going to start reciting all the Rei verses out loud until he gets tackled by the bodyguards” Bob laughs blatantly.

“And you are going to lose your dignity, your sanity and all of your savings the moment you see Liz.” Henry fires at me.

“Hard to say I won’t, but losing my savings is foreseeable. You know the ticket sale for their concert opens next week right? Don’t blame me for not reminding you.”

“Wait really? I don’t even know they announced the date already?” Henry seems confused and excited at the same time.

“You’re a fake fan bro. Let me also set a reminder to get tickets,” Bob reaches his phone on the bench next to him, “Oh fuck! I forgot to wipe my hand! The sauce got all over my screen!” Bob screams while wiping the gochujang on his phone with a napkin.

“Hahahaha, you deserve it.” Henry laughs out loud.

-

Two whole boxes of chicken disappear amidst our chatter; I finish the last piece and chugged the rest of my Celsius before padding my full tummy.

“Hmm... what y’all doing later? Do I get a drive home?” I ask them. 

“Oh! We’re actually gonna head for my girlfriend’s place for a party. You said you're not interested in those before, right?” Bob lifts his gaze from his phone.

“Nah, count me out. For God's sake, please wear a condom, and don’t get her pregnant.” I shake my head.

“Not that type of party, don’t you worry.” He stands up, “well... it had been nice seeing you man, it had really been a while.” Following him is Henry, “Yeah, time flies! Anyway, y’all hit me up on the date when tickets go on sale! We should hop on a voice chat, definitely need a plan to secure our chances.”

“Will do! See you all around, I’ll just chill here for a bit.” I stand up too, waving at them as they walk towards the car.

Seeing them leave, I sit back down on the bench, plugging in my headphones to enjoy this moment of peace. I select my IVE playlist, watching the geese waddling around the grass. A few joggers or dog-walkers occasionally run by, and I give a polite nod to each of them. It’s a really rare chance I can just sit here under the SoCal sunshine and not have to worry about anything. What an afternoon!

Soon, I feel my eyelids getting so heavy. The last thing in my mind is Liz’s “Unreal” playing and me thinking, “it is not a bad idea to have a nap.”

The world turns black.

-

I don’t know how long had passed, maybe an hour? Damn, it was a really nice nap. I open my eyes, almost blinded by the sunlight. The park is strangely empty. The joggers had moved on, and the geese were silent near the pond. There is this faint metallic taste in my mouth and my lips are dry as hell. I feel strangely warm and relaxed: it had been so long since I’ve had the luxury to take a long nap, I’d as well just continue sleeping.

Wait.

Wait a second.

I feel like I almost fall unconscious again. But I see a group of people exiting the backdoor of that Korean restaurant we skipped earlier. Something feels…off. Why are they wearing such long coats? And with masks? And with sunglasses? I must be hallucinating right now. Do TikTok influencers have sasaengs these days? Look at those two bulk men in suits, I swear to God they’re bodyguards. Wait a second, is that....

She walks with her arms crossed, her chin tilting at that precise, elegant angle that suggests she wasn't just walking to a car; she is reclaiming a runway. It is a gait I’d analyzed in a hundred airport arrival clips—the "Wony-walk."

She is physically taller than the men in suits, her silhouette cutting through the hazy LA heat with a sharp, expensive precision. There is a glimmer of a silver heart-shaped pendant swinging against her chest, catching the sun like a strobe light.

It’s her. My brain didn't even need the confirmation of a face. That poised, that "above-the-rest-of-the-world" energy—it’s Jang Wonyoung. And if the "Center of the Center" is here, then the rest of my universe is standing right behind her.

My universer takes off her mask for some air, at that moment, my heart stops beating. Her gaze is shining so bright and clear like an energized puppy despite her minimal makeup, I’ll never  mistake her for anyone else.

The universe just put my angels 20 feet away from me, at a random park in Los Angeles. I rub my eyes, trying to open them wider. Confusion floods my brain like how my adrenaline does.

They shouldn’t be here... they should be in those high-end restaurants that have a reservation one year from now. Maybe some VIP lounges in Beverly Hills. Or maybe visiting some random venues of local sports teams as guests. The Los Angeles Clippers can be a nice idea. Any way they’d like, but definitely not in the back alley with dozens of paper boxes behind a Korean restaurant in downtown L.A. where even people like myself call it an affordable place.

I put my wrist between my lips and bite down hard. This is the standard protocol I have for myself to test if I’m dreaming. I hope the pain will be as brutal as possible, so I know I am not hallucinating when I say “I just saw IVE near a parking lot in downtown L.A.”

Instead, I feel the adrenaline spike and this very familiar feeling of fight and flight. This feeling that I’ve experienced countless times sitting in an exam, panicking and not knowing what to do. It almost cost me though. They’re walking closer and closer towards that parking lot nearby, where three black minivans parked parallel. My window is closing.

If I sit, I am a coward. I’m singlehandedly killing any potential fairytale stories before they even have a chance to start.

If I run, I’m a creep. And those big men in black suits are going to tackle my skinny body within a second without any effort. I’d be pushed away and it’d be the most embarrassing way possible to give my self-introduction to IVE.

I stand up and start walking.

One, two, three, four, five, six.

Gaeul, Yujin, Rei, Wonyoung, Liz, Leeseo.

They’re right there. They’re so close, yet so far away. My heart is hammering so frantically that I forget my chest exists. My cheeks and ears burn albeit someone just set a fire on my face. Well, they absolutely did.

I keep walking, picking up my pace just slightly so I don’t look suspicious.

Closer, I can smell the lingering floral scent of their perfume. Not just expensive, but overwhelmingly distant.

Even closer, and it is at the point where some actions are necessary, otherwise I’d walk right into them. A manager-like man in a polo shirt, with a transparent earpiece puts himself in the middle of the walkway. Right between me and my dreams come true.

“Excuse me, no stopping. Private time here, please keep walking.” He says, with a slight accent and a professional, emotionless tone. His palm sticks out facing me like a “Stop” sign.

I freeze, and the hesitation was nearly lethal. He quickly turns and nods at the man in suits, mouthing something in another language.

The members keep walking, don’t even bother looking in my direction like similar shenanigans had happened countless number of times. Well, I can understand that certainly. But I’m not a stalker! I... I need to prove it to him before I get swept away!

“No, please!!!” I raise my pitch just a little bit, hoping I won’t scare away the girls. “I... I am a DIVE! I’m NOT a sasaeng!  I... I live right here... and I was just walking by! I... I have this...” My expression stutters thanks to the extreme nervousness.

But I need to persuade him. I can see his tense facial expression just eases by a bit. And I have a lifeline.

I reach for my pocket with my violently trembling hand. The thing I’m looking for is on my phone. To be exact, it is between my phone and my phone case.

Clack…

The crisp sound breaks the pressurized silence as my plastic phone case drops on the concrete walkway. I don’t bother to pick it up at all. Instead, I carefully show the managers these two photo cards I’ve been putting in my phone case throughout the journey of being a DIVE.

First one, ATTITUDE era Liz. Blonde hair, lethal dimple on her left cheek. That warm smile itself is enough for me to squirm in my blanket burrito with a big smile every time I see it.

The second one, BADDIE era Yujin. The sharp outfit. The charisma that made me start writing fics on Tumblr. The origin of how Henry roasted me for all that “Mommy Yujin” nonsense. The daring stare like she can see through all my filthy fantasies at night.

“I... I have this... PLEASE! I’m an actual fan.” I hold the two photo cards like some sort of passing badge, hoping to move the manager.

But he doesn’t say anything, and he doesn’t move at all. I start to get anxious as half of the group is already at the parking lot.

“잠깐만요, (Wait a second) Manager-nim~” Two girls at the back slow down, before stopping and looking at my direction. I can immediately tell the one who just spoke was Yujin. She approaches the manager and whispers in his ear. “Aigoo, he’s just a fan! Look at him, he’s literally shaking right now. How can he do any harm?” Yujin giggles while peeking at the photo cards.

Well, don’t ask me why she just spoke English to her manager. It was NOT! It was Korean for sure. But a huge thank you to Duolingo, I was able to understand the most important conversation I’ve ever overheard in my life! (Author’s note, this message is not approved or endorsed by Duolingo).

They then kept whispering something that’s beyond one year worth of Duolingo learning, while I was left there, teeth clenching nervously.

I try to distract my attention. Hmm... who is that girl next to Yujin? It’s either Liz or Rei based on the relative height with Yujin. I hope she’s Liz... but I’d be such a fake Liz fanboy because I can’t even tell if that’s her.

“Listen, do you want a signature?” The manager finally turns back at me, after sighing like “are we really doing this”?

I don’t care. My soul is almost escaping my body. “YESSSSS! Please! Please!”

He waves at me as a signal to keep walking, so I do. But he’s still serving like a shield, completely blocking me with the girls. “Look, you are alone. No cameras. It is good. But if we stay here? People see and they gather. We don’t want that.” I immediately understood. The group of the people I saw outside of the restaurants? There were no TikTok influencers. There were no Instagram model girls. They were all here, camping IVE…

He clears his throat while I nod obediently. “I know you’re going to tell you friends, and everyone is coming here in minutes. So, walk with us, get in the car, get your signature. We drop you off somewhere mid-way and we both are happy, understand?”

“Y.... yes sir! Thank you so much!” I bow immediately, just for him to nod and he knowingly falls behind. Allowing me to walk parallel to the two girls.

“Hi~” Yujin smiles politely, fan service mode activated.

“Hi~ how are you?” The girl next to her takes off her mask.

It is a miracle that I didn’t just faint right at the moment. It is Liz. Kim Jiwon. Elizabeth Helga Muller, her German name, as you wish.

“OH MY GODDDD! Liz!” I scream out loud, only for the manager to give me a deadly stare like “keep it low or get out of here.” I instantly cover my mouth and apologize. “Sorry, sorry. I got too excited... I’m really a Liz fan.”

“Oh, really? Thank you.” Liz smiles, a bit timid.

“Can I see them?” Yujin asks, pointing at my photo cards.

“Definitely!” I hand them to her, while trying not to have any physical contact with her - I don’t wanna mess up this once in a lifetime opportunity by getting falsely assumed as a creep!

“Me and Jiwon, hehe” Yujin giggles proudly. “You are lucky today, no?”

“More than lucky, Yujin-ssi.”

“Aw~ what a polite fan boy, you can call me Yujin. What’s your name?” She seems a bit amused, which is definitely a green light for me.

“Ah! You can call me dimp...I mean, Mercy. m-e-r-c-y.” I almost slipped something that’s supposed to be top secret. Fortunately, I reacted quickly.

My heart has no sign to slow down, so I start to take some deep breaths. They notice. “Are you nervous?” Liz asks. “You don’t have to be so tense, fanboy. We don’t bite!” Yujin adds on.

Well, but to be fair, how can I NOT feel nervous at this moment? Walking next to me are literally the two women in the world that bring me the most joy. One with her dimple and a voice that’s clearer than my future. The other one with her...... charisma and....... leader spirit. I’m nowhere close to being ready!

“I....I try.” I manage to squeeze out two broken words.

“Hey buddy.” The manager taps my shoulder from behind as we’re close to the only minivan that’s still parking in the lot - well it seems like the rest of the members are already gone.

“Yes sir, what shall I do?” I try to be as cooperative as possible.

“This is the plan, ok?” He stops at the trunk, finds a sharpie from one of the bags. “You seem like a good person.”

“Yes sir, I am a good person. What do I need to do?” Man! Just give me the rest of the script! At this point I’m willing to do anything for their signature.

“You see, THAT group of people with cameras,” he stops, “We don’t want them to know where we are. So here is what’s going to happen. You unlock your phone, give it to me, so you don’t take photos or record. Everything is private, I will check your photo booth whether you stalked or filmed us.”

“My... my phone? Absolutely sir, I’ll give you my phone.” Yes! He’s taking my phone! I’ve never felt so happy before when someone takes my phone. Now he has my personal items, he can’t kick me away!

He quickly peeks at my photo booth to make sure I’m indeed not a sasaeng. He starts talking again, “Good. You give your photo cards to Yujinnie and Jiwon, they sign. Get in the car, we will drop you off somewhere mid-way so you don’t spoil our location.”

“Wait, what??? I’m getting in the car?” My brain refuses to believe the offer I just received - car ride with IVE. “Me? Really?”

“Yeah, you~” Liz walks past me, before getting on the back row of the minivan.

“Or you can take your phone back and walk away.” The manager says.

“No sir, you keep my phone.” I hop on the passenger’s seat at the front, try to be very gentle and give Yujin and Liz their personal space. I’m carpooling with IVE! That alone is already a miracle.

The door slides shut. The cool air conditioning and the smell of the leather seats separate me from the heat outside.

-

For the first minute, I sit with a tense posture: back straight, hands on my laps, palm sweating. I try to peek in the rearview mirror; Liz is on her phone with her hat back on and Yujin sits at the very back row next to the manager and I have no idea what they are whispering.

“Are you holding your breath? You look like a statue there.” Liz giggles.

“If I were you, I’d cherish the time and say something. Like, how did you end up becoming a fan?” Yujin adds on. I turn my head to my eight o’clock, and try my hardest not to look like I’m about to have a heart attack when I see Liz’s gentle smile.

“Liz-ssi, you.... you’ve always been my number one, do you know that? Every time when I’m stressed over those abstract proofs in Real Analysis, I’d watch your fancams over and over... and I’ll feel motivated again. Don’t get me wrong, I admire your vocals so much. It is cleaner than a glass of water...”

“Aw~ thank you so much for your kind words! Real Analysis, it sounds difficult... is it like a lie detector? To see if something is real or fake? Hehe” Liz giggles timidly and gently, her gaze flickers with sincerity.

“Eh... kind of, we analyze real stuff. It is very abstract, but you inspired me a lot when I had hard times nonetheless! I... I don’t know what else to say, Liz-ssi, it is my biggest honor in my life to get to tell you how much I liked you!”

I did it. I did the unthinkable in many fanboys’ sweet little dreams! I got to tell my favorite idol how much I appreciate her without being filthy! I showed her how dedicated and respectful a DIVE I am. I certainly just won the world.

“Ahem, Jiwon-ah, looks like you got a big fan here. How about me?” Yujin suddenly asks from the back, tone with a hint of mischief.

“I...I really like you too! Yujin-ssi.” For some reasons only I should know, I was NOT ready to answer this question so I stuttered.

“Really? You hesitated! Are you a fake fan?” Yujin keeps pushing, sounds a tiny bit frustrated but still playful.

“Leave this poor little boy alone, unnie.” Liz’s smile widens instead, her facial expression screaming “Not again” like she had seen Yujin battle for a bias title thousands of times.

“Then tell me what parts of me you like, fanboy?” Yujin reaches to the middle row, putting her face right next to Liz’s, her puppy eyes open wide and wink with anticipation.

“I... Ah...I... like your... hmm... power! And... leader spirit! Also, your... your confidence!” I defend myself, trying to convince Yujin that I’m not a fake fan but maybe only they can see how red I got when Yujin stared at me innocently like that.

“Aw, how cute! Leader Spirit and confidence.” Yujin intentionally emphasizes the two nouns like it is the password to something secret.

My heart skips a bit... please don’t be.

-

After a few more rounds of polite exchange of words, the manager (now driver) pulls over somewhere on the street. It looks familiar despite the tinted window.

“Yujinnie, Jiwonnie, do you want to get some In-N-Out? It is very famous in America!” The manager unbuckles his seatbelt, turning back towards Liz and Yujin and doesn’t even bother to look at me. More than reasonable, I don’t blame him. To him, I was just a piece of luggage they hadn't unloaded yet.

“Really! Let’s go!” Liz’s eyes flicker with sparkles.

“Not for me~ I’ve tried it many times when we toured in America last year!” Yujin says.

“Ok, then I’ll go with Jiwon. Yujinnie, you wanna wait in the car? We’ll be back soon.” The manager opens the door before Liz joins after him.

My hand automatically reaches for the seatbelt. My heart leaped. This was it. A walk with Liz. Just us (and the manager) under the California sun. "I’ll help! I can carry the—"

"No." The manager and Yujin almost say it at the exact same moment, the one single word cuts through my excitement like a cold snap. "If you truly care about her, you don't want to see 'Liz accompanied by mystery young man in L.A.' on Dispatch tomorrow morning, right?"

I froze, my hand halfway to the door handle. The implication hit me like a physical weight. Me? A mystery man? With Liz? My face didn't just turn red; it felt like it was radiating heat. The thought of being linked to her—even in a scandal—sent a shiver through my chest.

"Stop," the Manager sighed, glancing at me in the rearview mirror with a look of pure pity. "I know exactly what you’re thinking. No. Don't even go there."

I slumped back into the passenger seat, my ears ringing. "Right. Sorry. Safety first." For a twisted moment, I felt like I was almost a protagonist. Almost a “scandal”. Almost become the main character of a fanfic. Almost someone important enough to be "accompanied by Liz. The heat in my cheeks wasn't just embarrassment—it was a soaring pride. I felt like I was floating two inches off the leather, drifting in a golden California daydream where I actually mattered to her.

But a dream is always just a dream. You’ll wake up nonetheless.

“Good Boy~.” Yujin casually slips, her tone full of teasing.

I felt like I was being handed a death sentence wrapped in a compliment.

Some scenes that are not supposed to show up here start to automatically play inside my head. Fuck. I fucking forgot… My phone.  Please… Please don’t tell me she found them.

Yujin had my phone – it got handed to her naturally as the manager needs to drive. Maybe he told her to check my photo booth if I stalked them from the airport. But I have all of my Tumblr drafts as screenshots in my Pictures… All of those… stories.

Liz looked back at me, her expression softening into that sweet, concerned look. "Are you okay? You look like you're about to faint. Car sickness?”

"I’m 100% fine!" I squeaked, my pitch an octave too high. I gave her a thumbs-up that felt incredibly unconvincing. "Just... thirsty! Take your time!"

Beside me, I heard a muffled, frantic sound. I turned to see Yujin burying her face into a velvet travel cushion, her shoulders shaking with silent, hysterical laughter. She knew. She knew exactly how "screwed" I was, and she was enjoying every second of my internal collapse.

"Let’s go, Jiwon-ah," the Manager said, putting on his sunglasses.

"Bye-bye!” Liz waved, her silhouette flashing one last time before she stepped out into the bright Los Angeles afternoon with her mask back on.

The door hissed shut. THUD.

The lock clicked.

-

“So,” Yujin breaks the deadly silence. “Apparently, mister pure hearted fanboy… You write stories about me, very… analytically, hm?” It is over.

“I… I can explain it…” I want to turn around and defend myself, but I physically can’t.

“Can you?” I hear Yujin’s voice coming from the middle row, she had crawled from the back like a predator corning her prey. “You handed the unlocked phone to us yourself, and I was scrolling through those story drafts all the way.” Yujin’s words sound mysterious; danger is hiding beneath that seemingly emotionless tone.

“I… it… it was just fiction… I didn’t mean to… Sorry.” I give up, knowing I just dug my own grave. Maybe I get kicked out of the minivan after my confession, and Yujin’s gonna tell Liz all of those. I’m screwed… my character, everything… Liz is going to despise me and she’ll feel so disgusted!

“You told Jiwon she was your number one because she’s so pure… and so clear. You study mathematics and you love pure things, don’t you? You told her how a respectful and dedicated DIVE you are because of her, hm?” Yujin pads the seat where Liz was just sitting, “Come here, don’t make me say it twice.”

I hesitate for a fraction of a second, before squeezing my body through that tiny space. Maybe there is still hope, but I know for a fact that I am completely at Yujin’s mercy. The seat is still warm, Liz’s lingering vanilla-scented perfume is so healing – yet what’s next to me is like a blackhole, full of force and unknown.

I meet Yujin’s gaze. Her eyes are dark, unreadable, and terrifyingly vivid.

“It seems like you don’t write about her spirit, do you?” Yujin murmurs, finger hovering on her bottom lip. “Tell me, if Liz is your angel… Am I your… downfall?” she licks her lip now, her alluring eyes never leaving mine. “Or are you finally gonna admit that I AM the truth that you’ve been secretly hiding from her?”

My heart is not slowing down. I come to the realization that maybe I am still screwed, but it’d be the best bad news I can hear. “You’re not answering my question. And I’m getting impatient. If I am impatient, I do really messy stuff. You don’t want to get on the blacklist of Starship Entertainment, do you?” Yujin has no sign of stopping her fire, knowing she has the upper hand from the start.

“I… I’m sorry Yujin… Please don’t! I swear it is just some nonsense, I… I can delete them if you want. Just please don’t say it out loud! I’d do anything.” My cheeks must be radiating heat at this moment and I’m also already used to the frantic pounding of my chest.

Maybe it was my sincerity, it must be. My response is like it just triggered some keywords.

“You said, anything?” Yujin smirks with mischief.

“As long as I don’t get blacklisted…” I stutter.

“Get to the back row, now.”

“If… if you say so.” My nostril already misses Liz’s pure scent at the moment I lose contact with her seat. I carefully take a step over their designer purses on the pass-through before placing my tense body onto the back row as Yujin instructed.

Yujin follows, taking the right side of the three connected seats. She sits on her knees, looking way comfortable despite being in such a packed space. “So... I’m going to give you some chances to prove to me that you’re not a filthy, degenerate fan.” Yujin says.

“I’m definitely not! Do you want me to show you my Spotify Top 0.1% Fan Badge?” I reach out for my phone that’s still on her lap.

“Aw, cute little attempt. But I'll keep it for now.” She holds my phone hostage, slipping it under her weight.

“T... Then how do you want me to prove it? I can recite the lyrics for all of IVE’s title tracks?” I stutter.

“Come on, you write those little stories about me, but still pretending to be innocent. Huh?” Yujin’s playful grin suddenly disappears, what comes after is something rawer that I was never ready for.

She slips her finger into my shirt from the bottom, scratching my chest in the most agonizing way possible. As much as I don’t want to admit it, the bulge down below starts to get visibly larger.

“See? You’re being very honest with your body.” She’s barely audible, basically just blowing air into my already itching ears.

“Yujin-ssi, please don’t! We... we will be in trouble! And I’ll become filthy and degenerate if you keep doing this to me!” I accidentally confess in desperation.

“Hmm... it’s better if we have an open conversation instead, maybe?”

“Y...yes! Conversation! We’re not supposed to be doing this at all!”

“Ok.” Yujin says, but her hands say otherwise. She quickly yanks my shirt off in one go, my chest suddenly exposes to the air. Next, she takes off her black jacket and her white T-shirt as well, leaving only a plain, white bra.

“What... what the fuck?!” I shout in awe while trying to cover my eyes with my palms. I can’t look at that... I'm not supposed to!”

“That’s why I call it an open conversation. If you don’t like it, I can also take it off. Hm?” Yujin hovers her finger onto the strap of her bra, teeth biting down her lips. God. Pure seduction. Why is she doing this?

“Why are you doing this?” So I ask.

“Aw, I want to test you. Let’s play a game.” Yujin smiles while putting her palms on each of my shoulders.

She then pulls me dangerously close, forcing me to look directly into her predatory gaze.

“Since you do analysis all the time, tell me, who is your favorite member in IVE?” Yujin asks, hands cupping my face. My breath immediately hitches.

“I... it’s Liz, you already knew that.”

“Nope baby... wrong name.” She crashes her red lips against mine. My whole world collapses. Yujin captures my hesitation, kissing me even more aggressively. Her tongue invades through my trembling lips, forcing mine to swirl with hers. I take it all, secretly enjoying this gut-wrenching guilty pleasure. I just got a kiss from the character in my wildest fantasies - but it feels like a huge betrayal to Liz at the same time.

“First chance is wasted. You didn’t give me the answer I wanted to hear. We can keep playing this game until your pure little angel is back. Guess what she’ll have to say when she sees us like this? Sweaty and half naked in the back seat?” Yujin is seemingly enjoying everything, her tone bright and joyful.

“Now tell me again, if your favorite is Liz… then why are you this hard, hm?” Yujin grins, fingers brushing my itching length through the fabric of my pants.

“Be…because I am a straight man!” I give out my final attempt to brush it off, but seeing Yujin’s facial expression remains unchanged, I know I’ll just let her do her thing. “Plus… you’re very hot.” I add on.

“It is hot here indeed, fuck, I’m sweating.” Yujin hums, realizing the AC is little use under the SoCal sun in the afternoon. “We gotta do this quick, before both of us pass out from the heat.” I take a quick glance at her half naked body, sweats already dripping down her chin – her scent mixes with the faint perfume, more arousing than ever.

“We are gonna do what?” My logic fails; it can’t be? I am never properly prepared for a scene like this.

“Take off your pants, right now…You’re lucky today. I’m going to show you why I AM the leader of IVE, and you’d start regretting why you didn’t choose me as your bias from day one.” Yujin mumbles, while unzipping her short culottes. I take a big gulp uncontrollably when she reveals her full curve, a few drops of sweats clinging onto her frame and her plain cotton pantie is already damped. Maybe from the heat, maybe from the arousal… or probably both.

My hands freeze on my belt, not knowing what to do after witnessing Yujin just stripped before me despite my throbbing length already screaming for release. “Fuck, stop pretending for be so innocent.” Yujin gets a bit impatient; her hands automatically locate my belt. And click, she unbuckles it before yanking both of my jeans and boxers all the way down to my ankle.

My itching length springs free, a wet sound covers the quiet humming of the AC. A pathetic moan escapes from my throat as Yujin wraps her hand around my base. “Look at this, already so hard for me~.” She gives it a long, slow stroke before climbing up onto my lap. Her hard is warm, contrasting with the cool leather of her boots squeezing my leg.

“Fuck… Yujin, are you sure we’re doing this? I.... My favorite member in IVE is An Yujin! Are you happy now?” The final bit of sanity left in my brain knows it is wrong, we’re both fucked if Liz and the manager are back from In-N-Out and see their respected leader of group is stroking a filthy fanboy in the back of their car. Is this even real? Is this even possible? I am just a helpless fanboy that fell into Yujin’s charm and couldn’t escape. But why? Why would she even talk to me, let aside… having sex with me? It must be a dream, but her deadly scent is so real.

“Too fake.” She clicked her tongue. One smooth motion and her fingers were at my belt. “You still call me by my stage name like a polite little fanboy. I want the real one. The one you type at 3 a.m. when you think no one’s watching.”

Yujin stares directly into the deepest of my soul, she unhooks her bra with her free hand. The strap slides down her shoulders and the fabric slowly falls off her gorgeous body. Her full breasts bounces up and down right inches away from eyes, she turns to throw the bra away.

“Now your Mommy Yujin is right here, do what you need, helpless little fanboy.” She quotes directly from the deepest secrets that I’ve been hiding, and that’s exactly enough to destroy any defense I have left. My hips jerked involuntarily and I groaned, the sound way too loud for a tinted minivan in broad daylight.

“Fuck…” The thrill of getting caught at any time mixes with her sweated scent are like a drug that just gets me addicted. I follow my instinct, carefully take in one of her juicy tits in between my lips and suck lightly. She tastes alluring. Her perfume alone is enough to drive me crazy, not to mention the faint salty, sweaty taste just mercilessly assaults my nostril.

“Mmph….” I try to say something, but my mouth is too busy savoring Yujin’s perfect tit. I never in my life had thought this would happen, yet the sensory had defeated the sanity. I manage to not faint from the overwhelming lust despite Yujin hasn’t started anything. I take a look at her soft hand grabbing my length, then keep my eyes shut again. Well, if I mute one of my senses, the rest becomes more sensitive, no?

“Look at me.” Yujin commands, she reaches close, hair brushing my cheeks. I oblige; she then opens her mouth and lets a string of her saliva fall onto the tip of my shaft. My body bucks as the slick, cool liquid meets with my overheated skin. Her eyes never leave mine. Deadly. Alluring. I can’t contain my desire anymore.

I reach out for her face, pulling Yujin close before kissing her juicy lips. This time it is much more intense compared to the first. My movements are desperate and hungry, and I can tell she likes it. She responds with equally thirsty kisses, the wet, obscene sound echoing in the warm minivan.

“Good… You finally stopped your little lie. I almost believed you’re such a dedicated and pure DIVE until I saw those filthy stories.” Yujin lets go of my lips, “It’d be your loss if you never tried me…bet you’ll feel different after this. Liz can still be your sweet angel with a crystal-clear voice, but you won’t ever forget who makes you this desperate.”

“Fuck…please, Yujin… Please don’t bring Liz into this.” Yujin’s words bring back that gut-wrenching guilt. For a second, I just hate myself so much for not having the self-discipline to resist Yujin’s force and it’s a pure betrayal to Liz.

“Uh-oh, look at who is triggered. But weren’t YOU the one who wrote ‘I am mommy An Yujin’s Puppy, please use me as you like’? Bet you got hard just by thinking about it when you hid under your blanket writing it, huh?” She amplifies the filth, quoting directly from one of my drafts. My head is a mess made of embarrassment and the painful pleasure from Yujin’s hand that never stopped stroking me.

“Am I meeting your expectations, or do you want more of me? The energy? How about the leader's spirit? Hmm?”  

“What even is the point of all this?”

“To prove you wrong, fanboy. It makes me sick listening to all those beautiful lies but I know for a fact your body thinks otherwise. Just admit it, or we can stop here and wait ‘til your Jiwonnie comes back and sees it herself. Hmm? Last chance~”

“You really care about it that badly?” I hover my hands onto Yujin’s sweat-covered waist in awe. “Fine, if you really want to see me being filthy… I’d let you.” I know it is time to let go of my rational thoughts and just follow my instinct. And my instinct tells me to grab her bouncy ass and feel it with my palms. “I’ll make sure this pair of sexy legs keep shaking for hours.” The final doubt inside of my head is gone as I feel the smooth texture of her body on my hands. I’ve never felt anything like this before. The velvety smooth skin, the warmth, the sweat. They just feel so vivid… and so Yujin. 

“Exactly the energy I want... Now touch me… show me how much you’ve been starving for this body.” Yujin’s tone is still commanding, but with a hint of arousal.

“Fuck… do you know how crazy you drove me with this body, Yujin?” I confess, mumbling because I am busy eating her tit at the same time. I draw little circles around her nipple, just to feel how heavenly she tastes with that faint scent of her body wash and the lingering sweat. Meanwhile, I don’t forget the work down below her butt. My hands start roaming free, staring from her waist, lingering on her cheeks before groping her insanely sexy thighs.

Yujin lets out several hums each time the tip of my tongue meets her nipple, her face is blushed from the increasing temperature and her own arousal. I lick and suck her other tit with equal desire – the desire that I’ve been hiding from everyone, that had made my head spin in countless midnight hours.

She doesn’t respond to my question. The minivan’s tinted windows trapped the heat like a greenhouse. Sweat beaded along Yujin’s collarbones, catching the faint dashboard glow and sliding down the valley between her breasts in slow, glistening trails.

Suddenly, a loud, door slamming sound from a nearby car drags me out of this dreamy picture. My heart sinks. We’re in the public; Liz and the managers are still coming back at any time. Yujin catches the sudden halt of my motion and I am certain that she can see through what I’m thinking. She dismounts from me, crawling to the driver’s seat only in her damped pantie.

Beep.

She locks the door from inside before turning off the engine. The AC is still on but it feels like nothing under the California sun. Yujin crawls towards me sitting there in the back row, slowly, like she is catwalking on a run way. Her hips roll and sways, each step makes her seducing frame even more alluring.

After like a year has passed, she finally gets back on my lap. Yujin grabs my leaking length once again and gives it a lazy stroke. Her fingers drawing lazy, tormenting circles on my sensitive head. “Mmph… fuck…” I groan, taking a deep breath so I don’t just come before even getting a chance to feel her. To really feel her.

She hooks her thumbs into the waistband of her pantie and peels it down her thighs in one fluid motion, kicking it aside. The scent of her—sweet, musky, unmistakably aroused—hits me like a drug. Her pussy was glistening, puffy and pink, lips already parted and shiny. She wrapped her hand around my cock again, guiding the head right against her entrance.

“W… wait!” I stutter.

“Aw… Don’t tell me you’re gonna chicken out at the last second.” Yujin purrs, her gaze is now nothing but pure desire. I don’t dare to keep staring at her anymore before I completely lose it and start screaming “Mommy Yujin”.

“We… we don’t have a condom!” I almost yell. Being caught walking with Liz? It is nothing compared to making Yujin a mother. There is zero probability that I can survive the fans if it ever happens, so, safety first.

“Screw it, we’re constantly on the pill anyways. Is that it? Can I properly fuck you now?”

“Y…”

I don’t get to finish. Yujin doesn’t wait for the rest. She drops the rest of the way in one smooth, greedy motion, taking every inch until her ass flushes against my thighs. A broken moan escapes her throat, and the sound goes straight into the deepest of my soul.

“Fuck, you’re bigger than I thought,” she breathes, already rolling her hips in tiny circles, grinding her clit against my pelvis. “Feels good, doesn’t it? Better than jerking off to my fancams in your dorm room?”

I cannot answer. My hands autopilots to her waist, gripping hard enough to leave marks. She starts riding me relentlessly then—slow at first, savoring it, then faster, the wet slap of skin on skin filling the van. The leather seat creaks under us. The AC still humming uselessly against the heat we were generating. Yujin bounces on my laps in near frantic motion. Each time she releases me from her slickness, the next second I’m being greeted by her warmth. Yujin is incredibly tight, and it makes me speechless. I’m nowhere close to being in charge as I helplessly watch how much Yujin owns the moment. Her bangs are damp from the sweat; her elegant fingers push the wet strand of hair behind her ears.

I dive back into her flawless body and continue to worship her tits before I lose myself in her alluring gaze. Her nipples are swollen, I plant careful kisses here and there, leaving wet marks on her frame. Her frame that owned my wildest dreams at those lonely nights.

“Mmph...” Yujin moans softly, “You’re doing good, maybe your mouth can do more than just lying.”

“Fuck… I never lied!” I thrust up into her in embarrassment, our sweat damps the leather seat – the squeaking sound echoes obscenely in the car. “Then show me, show me you are capable of making me come… like how it is in those dirty little stories you wrote about me.”

Her encouraging tone is exactly what I need to turn me on even more. I grab her waist with both of my hands, pushing her away from my laps onto the seat before I reposition myself before her. Yujin’s long legs immediately wrap around my chest; her leather boots are still on. The stiff texture contrasts with her smooth skin, and they just add an extra layer of stimulation on my sweating body.

I start pounding into Yujin in a relentless fashion as the desire I’ve been trying to hide is inevitably flooding through my body. I grab her thighs, lifting her legs and rest them onto my shoulder. Yujin rubs her clit with one hand, letting out several cracked moans, while the other hand grabs her own tits. Her eyes are half closed, getting lost in the sensation.

The minivan shakes, matching our fanatic rhythm. The tinted windows already fogged up from the heating atmosphere, I never stop my thrusting. My nails dig deep into her skin like I’m trying to hang onto something before my downfall. “Hmm? Yujin-ssi? Is this what you want? Getting wet because a fanboy is filling you up?” I tease.

“Mmph, just like that… harder… When are you gonna admit that I am better than Liz? Only this is not enough…” She mutters.

I thrust once more, to the absolute deepest I can and I just hold it still. “Don’t say her name!” I squeeze out a cracked groan.

“Liz this… Liz that, but look at who is so hard inside me right now… Hmm?” Yujin keeps taunting me like she is daring me to go harder. Yet, she pushes me away, I whine from the loss of the friction.

Yujin stands up and paces slowly to the middle row, where Liz was sitting. She gets her hands onto the seat, while arching her body and stretches her perfect ass out. I immediately follow her, hands located onto her soft waist try to enter her again. But instead, Yujin grabs my shaft, heads turn back toward me, eyes full of nothing but seduction.

“Bet your mouth is already watering just by thinking how tight this ass would be, huh?” Yujin teases, rubbing my fully hard length up and down along the entrance of her but never letting me in.

“Fuck… please let me in already.” I don’t stand a chance when there is a perfect body like Yujin’s in front of me.

“Does your precious little angel ever make you beg like this? I guess not, huh?”

“N…No”, I take a big sniff, but unfortunately, Liz’s pure, vanilla-flavored scent gets replaced gradually by Yujin’s addicting mixture of her sweat and her floral perfume. I whine again, but this time from pure hunger. “Please… I want you so bad…” My voice muffles.

“Good Boy, I love it when you are honest.” She finally puts me back into that warm and wet pussy that I’ve been craving for. I continue to fuck her from behind; my hand just can’t stop itself from slapping Yujin’s bouncy butt.

“Mmph~~~” She moans exaggeratedly, like an acknowledgment of how her body makes me lose control. “How does it feel? Becoming the protagonist of those stories you wrote?”

“Fuck… It feels amazing, you’re so fucking tight.” I admit in both guilt and shame.

“Good. Then give me all of it, do better than that nerd you built.”

“I…I’ll try, I am not sure if I can last long… mmph.” I slow down my pounding by a notch, otherwise I’d soon give in and unload myself into Yujin.

“You better do, you know the consequence of disappointing me, right~” I can’t see her face, but her words are enough to let me pick up my pace again. I bite my bottom lip as hard as possible to endure the building pleasure, but surprisingly I don’t feel any pain. It must be the dopamine flooding rent-free in my system, that my sense of pain is already overwhelmed.

I try to alternate my rhythm between slower, deeper strokes and shallower, quicker thrusts. Yujin is clearly also enjoying herself as I feel her walls clenching against me each time I enter, trying to drain me in a timely manner.

“Fuck… just like that, you are gonna make me come!” I can feel Yujin’s pussy clenching tighter and tigher on me; I keep slamming into her as she gradually gives in to the pleasure. It only takes one extra deep thrust before she hits her climax. Yujin’s body locks up, fingers digging into the seat while her walls flutter and spasm, almost making me come on the spot. I slow down, and keep thrusting through her orgasm.

Yujin takes a few deep breaths until she releases my throbbing shaft from her pussy. Her juice immediately drips out from the point of contact, my itching dick is swollen, coated by her essence entirely. She turns around, quickly pushes me down onto the seat before guiding me back into her again. I bury my face into her chest, greedily sniff her aroused scent.

“You made me come… not bad. So, you get what you deserve, fanboy.” She smirks.

And we both know it won’t take long for me to release into her. She keeps riding me – each time she rolls her hips so my shaft is getting sealed by her wetness from all angles. Sweat pours off both of us, mixing between our bodies, the air thick and heavy with the scent of sex and her perfume and pure desperation.

“Now… come for me~” Yujin orders, and that’s all I need.

After she slams back down on me one last time, I grab her waist firmly as I cross the line of no return. I come. Hard. Ropes of thick juices of mine flooding her walls while I keep kissing her tits messily. Yujin moans loud enough like she’s screaming. She keeps grinding down through my orgasm like she is chasing a second of her own, her walls fluttering and squeezing every last drop out of me.

But she doesn’t just stop there. Even as I am still pulsing inside her, she keeps riding. The overstimulation hits like lightning—pleasure so sharp that I can’t distinguish if it is pain. My thighs tremble violently, every nerve in my body is screaming.

I am gasping, chest heaving, sweat pouring into my eyes. My shaft keeps throbbing, raw and oversensitive. The minivan felt like a sauna now, windows completely fogged, the leather beneath us soaked with sweat and cum and her arousal. My balls ached, my thighs burned, but the pleasure kept building again, impossibly, another orgasm already coiling tight in my gut.

“Again,” she demands, wrecked but still commanding. She leans down, biting my lower lip hard enough to sting. “Fill me until it’s dripping out of me when Liz gets back.”

The mention of Liz—sweet, pure Liz—should have killed the mood. Instead, it twists something dark and guilty and unbearably hot in my chest. I buck up into Yujin with a broken sob, chasing that second release like I’m wicked. She meets every thrust, riding me harder, faster, her tits bouncing, hair wild, eyes locking on mine like how she shows up in every filthy thought I’d ever had. Within another minute, I come again. This time it doesn’t last as long, but the pleasure is equally high.

Yujin lifts herself up from my wrecked length, the obscene picture of my own essence mixed with her juice dripping out of her pussy almost makes me faint on the spot. She sits down next to me; fingers spooning a scoop of the cream and puts right into her mouth.

“Hmm… tastes good…” Yujin grins.

“Yujin… fuck… You’re unreal.” My breath has yet to recover from the overwhelming two orgasms in a row. I lie down on her lap while she caresses my hair in soft strokes. “I…I’m so drained, just give me like one minute. I need to catch my breath before we clean this mess.”

“Aw~ don’t worry, take as long as you need.” Yujin’s voice is like honey.

I feel the danger of getting caught by the manager and Liz approaching. But hey, how am I supposed to clean up when my balls just got drained by Yujin? As much as I want to get back on my feet and start wiping down the mess everywhere, my eyes are getting really heavy.

“My cute little fan boy~ have you changed your mind yet? Who is your favorite IVE member now?” Yujin teases me, fingers scratching my neck gently.

The dial turns. It wasn't a question, but rather a demand for total submission.

I gaze up at Yujin’s gorgeous face. It took me years to realize what I really wanted. I had committed a thoughtcrime for years, pretending to be pure-hearted and innocent. But I inevitably succumbed to my lust.

All those pitiful little lies I told myself! All those stubborn denials of my true desire! Two salt-scented tears trickle down the sides of my nose.

But it is alright. Everything is alright. The struggle is finished. I had won the victory over myself. 

“I love An Yujin.”

My eyes give up resisting the weight anymore.

“Hey… hey!” Yujin pushes my shoulders, “At least put your pants back on!”

I don’t care anymore. The oxytocin is real. Unconsciousness soon claims me.

The world doesn’t go out with a bang; it ends with the scent of Yujin and the crushing weight of a memory too heavy for my waking self to hold. My vision blurs, the tint of the van’s windows stretching into an infinite, velvety black—and then, the hum of the AC is replaced by the dry rustle of wind.

-

I open my eyes again, and I find myself sitting on the bench in the park where I spotted IVE an hour or two ago. The sun had drifted to the west, dimmer orange light hover above the park.

“Where I spotted IVE…”

I panic, my lips are dry and my eyes heavy. I quickly stand up and sprint to the parking lot, no minivans are there. NO! It must be that the manager dropped me off where he picked me up, and I fell asleep again on the bench because I was so exhausted from the sex! It makes sense that I don’t remember WHEN I got dropped off and HOW I said goodbye to Liz and Yujin.

I… I need proof of this. So, I reach out to my pocket. 

My phone is there; it must get handed back to me when they dropped me off! I know it! 

I need to see the signature…. I need to see that sharpie ink. 

I impatiently rip off the phone case and let it drop to the grass, where two sleeved photo cards of Yujin and Liz are still quietly sitting there. Back facing me.

I close my eyes and pray… Please don’t let it be a dream. But when I open them again, the photocards are gone as a breeze blows through me. The grass flutters, the geese idling in the lake fly up and I am left shaking in the wind. The two cards swirl in the wind, entering an entangled state like my memory.

The faces of my purest angel and my desired downfall start to blend, the colors of their hair and the light in their eyes mixing together into a frantic, spinning blur. Akin to the mess in my brain: there is one line of pure admiration, for the boy who smiles stupidly hearing Liz’s vocal; and the other line of unsatisfiable desires, for the boy who simps Yujin under the blanket in those lonely midnights.

They ran perfectly parallel in my head, one line never touching the other. Until today, when the boundary is starting to become a twisting manifold in front of my own eyes.

The photocards finally cease their frantic spinning in the spring SoCal air, drifting down like misplaced autumn leaves. They settle quietly upon the grass, just two feet away—a distance that felt like a light-year. I laugh; not a sound of triumph, but a soft, hollow exhale of relief. 

Maybe. Just maybe.

I realize in this heartbeat that I don’t have to know.

The wave function doesn’t need to collapse. 

I don’t have to see if the ink was still there. 

If I look and see the bold strokes of her pen, I’d spend the rest of my life doubting my own sanity, haunting by a miracle I could never explain. 

If I look and see only a blank, pristine surface, I’d be forced to mourn a ghost until the day I’m gone.

They are the definition and the projection of perfection and beauty onto my lonely little world. But for forty minutes, they were vivid. Liz’s dimple was a hymn I could finally hear, and Yujin’s touch was a fire I could finally feel—within my reach, yet forever beyond my grasp. 

They’re like smoke in a mirror: always visible, but always far away. 

Maybe it is destined? But we’ll never meet under the daylight.

I look up into the sky, squinting against the relentless gold of the California dusk, and one thing remains certain. 

We shared the same horizon. 

We breathed the same heavy, salt-tinged air of Los Angeles. 

We are both on the way for what we love. 

We both exist, beating hearts on this same spinning planet.

Doesn’t THAT make us real?

Perhaps.

See it on fanprose

“I… I don’t know if I can handle this anymore… (sob) It… It’ll be better if we both just… move on!” Dead silence afterwards, followed by the ruthless beeping sound from your phone.

That’s the last sentence you heard before your girlfriend Kim Jiwon hung up the call. To be more exact, she is your ex-girlfriend right now. You let your phone slide down on the mattress in awe, by the moment you realize to call her back, her number is already in voice mail mode. Within expectation, Message is sent and left on read. A few days later, your number was added to her Blocked list, no more “Can I talk to you?” or “Liz, please let me explain!” ever got through.

---

Her cracked and sad murmuring lingered in your head like a curse over the past week. Why? You swear everything in your relationship was going so smoothly. Hell, it was better than the few romances you had before you met Liz.

The first anniversary was just last week. You took a huge chunk of your PhD stipend to book a fancy restaurant that serves little food on very big plates and surprised Liz with a bouquet full of pink roses. You hid the bouquet behind you as you walked towards her. She’s wearing a brown tank top beneath a black cardigan. Her hair dyed brown, her plump lips are glassy under the orange late-afternoon sun. “She’s literally an angel.” You thought.

“Jiwon, I made a guess that you’ll probably like this.” You hand her the bouquet, trying to act calm despite your face is just as pink as the flowers.

“Aw~ they’re so lovely! How do you know I like pink roses?” Liz is blushed as well; your gaze meets each other’s. Her endearing dimple makes you fall deeper each time you look at her.

“I thought gorgeous and elegant girls all like roses. Like yourself.” You squeeze a faint smile, pulling her close on your side while she holds the bouquet with both hands, eyes flickered full of joy from your compliment.

“You’re trying to make me blush again, stop~” Liz hides her face into your neck, her warm breath brushing your skin. That fresh vanilla scent of her shampoo makes you smile.

You hug her closer to you and she hums softly, your palm never leaving her waist.

The rest of the date was phenomenal, you thought.

The way how she couldn’t hide her smile when you held her hand into the restaurant and told her to order whatever she wanted to eat.

The way her cheeks turned so pink after the second glass of wine was down to her stomach.

The way she covers her face shyly while mumbling something like, “Babe… I love you so much. Hehehe…”

The way how she eagerly kissed you when you shut her apartment door and she pinched you to the wall.

The way how she let out soft moans like melodies from heaven when you really felt her with your body.

The way your bodies and the sheets tangling together the morning after, her room filled with nothing but love.

---

“I loved you too, Liz. I still fucking love you right now. I still do…” Maybe it was the sixth can of beer tonight? Maybe seventh. You lost track.

---

But that was all in past tense. It wouldn’t change the fact that you’re now single again for reasons that are still unknown to you. You wish you have something to do, just to distract your attention somewhere else. But unfortunately, this year is the time you took to fully prepare the upcoming GRE exam so your life is nothing but doing practice exams and studying.

How the fuck you’re supposed to study when your girlfriend just cut you off after your first anniversary? You stare at the window with a pair of eyes that are red from too much crying. Even the weather is not on your side right now, 5 days of consecutive raining already. There is no sunlight, just non-stopping tears dropping down from heaven.

You rub your eyes with the back of your bandaged palm: injured from slamming the table while you re-watched every video clip you filmed from the past dates. Blossom bite marks turned into purple bruise still clearly visible as you bit your forearm as a desperate measure to stop your never-ending grief. You caress your neck, where Liz left you a hickey at that night – the final proof of her existence on your body.

For maybe the tenth time today, you persuade yourself to pick yourself up. You throw your phone onto your bed without mercy; it bounces a few times before it lands on the pillow. The lockscreen is still the first picture you ever took with Liz. In that amusement park. She forced you to wear cat ears like she did and it had been your wallpaper ever since. You have yet to replace it.

You stare into the empty practice exam booklet, each problem is easier to solve than to figure out why she left you like this, broken and messy. The knots in topology are like how your heart is tangling and twitching. Those non-converging sequences in those metric spaces are cruel reminders of how the distance between you and Liz is approaching infinitely, no matter how you define it.

“What did I do wrong that you abandoned me like this, Liz?” You ask yourself this one question. For many years since you really dived into the world of academia, intellect had been the only weapon you had against the world. And apparently you want to know the answer to this more than anything else on the booklet. So, you attempt to solve your broken heart.

Maybe someone else is doing the same.

---

Liz is working her shift in the boba shop next to your campus. She looks tiny in front of the shelves full of tea jugs and syrup bottles. Never enough makeup can cover her grief and joyless face. The good news is, it is not busy because of the endless rain in the past a few days. The bad news is, it is not busy that Liz is guaranteed to be mourning the lost love.

“How can I help you today?” She manages to smile weakly, letting her dimple to the work of greeting a new customer walking in.

“An iced Thai tea, half sugar and half ice, please.” The young man says.

She picks up a sharpie on the cash register, writing the man’s order on the cup.

“50% of sugar and 50% ice, but 0% of probability that I can stop thinking about him.”

Liz lets out a quiet sigh as she turns to make the drink. She isn’t living a good life for days either, dark circles from sleep deprivation. Her apron is stained with tea and the residues of brown sugar that she’s too exhausted to clean up.

She adds the tea base into the plastic cup, one pump of syrup instead of two. Then she fills the cup with ice, the ice cubes bounce with each other, that crisp sound temporally overrides the sad rhythm of rain drops onto the roof.

“Shuck-a-shuck” Liz shakes the cup harder than usual, maybe she is hoping that she can shake you off her mind. But she knows for a fact that she cannot.

For the past a few days, she asked for longer shifts from her manager as she claimed she is free and willing to help. But certainly, Liz herself knows the exact reason why. She needs work to numb herself.

Each time the door chimes, she’d forget to breath for a fraction of a second before realizing it is just another stranger walking in for drinks.

She started to make mistakes.

“Excuse me, miss? I believe I didn’t order for extra espresso and less sugar? It is too bitter, it is undrinkable.” A middle-aged woman grumbles, pushing the cup on the table aggressively, while pointing at the dark sharpie inks, saying “Espresso +2”.

“I… I am so sorry ma’am, I’ll make you a new one right now.” Liz stares into the plastic cup.

Vietnamese Iced Coffee, light ice and half sugar, adding two shots of extra espresso. There is no way she gets the order wrong, the lady literally just asked for a plain Vietnamese Iced Coffee, no customizations.

It is because of her muscle memory.

It is because that was your favorite drink.

Liz pours the mistakenly made drink in the sink. The brown liquid swirls on the metals, trying one last time to resist before getting dragged to eternal darkness by gravity. She sighs, the cup is being thrown into trash, but that sharpie ink is like a mark that she can never erase.

She quickly remakes the drink; the woman grabs it from the table and leaves without looking at Liz again. Glad that she didn’t, because Liz is zoned out again.

“Oppa… How can you sleep? Two extra shots of espresso at 10 P.M.?” Liz winked her puppy eyes at you as you visited during one of her late-night shifts.

“Don’t worry about me, Liz-ah. I’m going to pull an all-nighter, I am so behind on the topics and I need to catch up!” You smiled, putting your credit card onto the card reader.

“Okie~ Give me a moment! You’ll be my last customer tonight anyway!” Liz gave you a big, warm smile as she started to make the drink for you.

“Take your time, babe. I’m not going anywhere until you’re home safe.”

“You’re the best, you know that right?” She was so happy.

It was beyond suspicious if you say you didn’t plan all this beforehand. Because the late-night walk to Liz’s place inevitably led to further events. You kissed her while you were still in the doorway. Her finger trembled so hard while trying to insert the key to her apartment. Her face looked like a peach that you eagerly wanted to taste.

Your hands were already all over her slim frame as Liz impatiently kicked the door shut after you.

“My room, Oppa…” Her breath hitched, one hand on your belt with another cupping your face.

---

The first night was rather a fever dream for both of you, she insisted you to sleep over as it was already past midnight when you two were done with the “stuff”. You oblige.

---

“We’re never going back… I am sorry Oppa, I… I wasn’t good enough for you.” Tears in Liz’s eyes drag her back to the reality.

As the final customer has his drink and leaves the door closed, Liz walks out to the door to flip that sign from “Welcome in!” to “Closed”. She stands under the dripping roof, staring into the heavy fog under the city lights. She sees your silhouette like a mirage that she always couldn’t catch up on.

“He’ll be better off without me.”

She thinks too much. Always too much.

Liz recalls that one night before your last final exam before you put that Bachelor’s degree in your bag. She called you for dinner together. You didn’t reject her, but you brought your laptop with you.

As much as she tried to cheer you up and said something like, “Oppa, I know you will be fine, you’re the smartest person I’ve ever met!” You didn’t respond. Your eyes are lifeless and locked onto the pages of complex variables.

“Oppa~ Take a break! Does my outfit look cute tonight?” She insisted, tapping on your shoulder. You flinched.

She saw you flinched.

You knew you didn’t mean to dismiss her like this but you were caught up in the middle of a theorem - unfortunately she thought you did.

“I’m so sorry, Liz-ah… I am really behind and the exam is tomorrow, if I don’t get an A, my GPA falls under the scholarship threshold and my Grad school will be a huge financial burden on me. I promise I’ll compensate you this weekend, do you want to go to that amusement park again? It’s gonna be on me.” You packed your stuff up, paid the bill and walked out the restaurant.

“It… it is ok Oppa, I understand.” She remained seated, tried her best to finish her plate of spaghetti. When she was done, she ran out of the door trying to chase you. But you were nowhere to be seen already.

“I’m a distraction… and he’s so far away… there is no way I am catching up with him”

That was the start of her grand scheme of overthinking.

And the storyline inevitably shifted to the day of your anniversary.

---

Liz is still standing under the roof. The shift had already ended, her only colleague had finished their cleaning tasks and locked the front door. Liz farewells the girl as her boyfriend comes to pick her up. She tried to hold it longer, making sure they’re far away enough.

She ducks down, burying her face into her palms and start crying.

“Oppa… I’ll try to get better; will you ever want me back?” She sobs.

Her mind travels back a week before, to that anniversary date. She hated herself for being smart at the wrong moment, that she got all the “messages” she THOUGHT you were giving her.

Liz could not contain her happiness when she saw your approaching her with that bouquet of pink roses, she dived into your embrace, mumbling how much she loved you.

Until you ‘accidentally’ slipped the fact that you took out a big chunk of your stipend for that night.

The rain has no sign of stopping, so does Liz’s crying. She looks so small under the huge banner of the boba shop, the raindrops ruthlessly accelerate into the ground before splashing onto her face. Her face that she intentionally put on extra layers of makeup to cover up her sadness.

How she wished she never overthought about a simple dinner and kept playing the game with you?

But she could not when you two finally sat down in the fancy restaurant and when the waitress handed the wine menu to you.

Liz was nervous, she didn’t know what to order.

“Oppa… we… we really don’t have to drink wine! It’s too expensive… I am fine with water, really.” She pulls the bottom of your shirt nervously.

But what she saw was how you confidently skipped two pages of the “By Glass” section and went directly into the “By Bottle” ones. She saw how you confidently pointed at the Tignanello on the reserve list that easily surpassed two days’ worth of her salary. Liz watched the waitress quickly returns to the table with a big smile like she treated you two as some VIPs. Her stomach dropped.

Liz took a sip of the wine when the waitress politely poured her half a glass. It tasted like velvet: smooth, soft. But it also tasted like some debt that she felt she could never pay back. She took a peek at you, tried to guess what’s hiding beneath your emotionless face.

A horrible idea had emerged from the bottle of her heart.

“It feels like a pity gift… I feel like I’m drinking away his future…”

Once the seed of doubt has been planted, it started to grow violently.

She recalled ten minutes before, when you explained to her the reason you picked Tignanello from the menu. Liz remembered you mentioned something about “elegance”, “high-end”. She couldn’t stop herself from thinking about your future academia society. You’d be no strangers to those fancy wines for those social gatherings, yet she’d still be the boba shop girl who would never fit in.

The compliments you gave her every five minutes to make her feel more confident, turned into “duties” in her ears. She didn’t hear you sincerely said how pretty she was at that night, but instead interpreted as your one last attempt to make her feel like she belonged in the place. The live band was grooving in the beats; saxophones were playing beautiful harmonies. But Liz’s heart was nothing but dead silence.

When the food was served, Liz tried one more time to observe you. But what she saw was just another big hit to her fluttering, overthinking heart. You were in the middle of introducing something interesting you read recently to Liz, while effortlessly picked up the smaller fork to eat your salad.

Yet, she froze when her main course was brought to her by the waitress. Liz stared at the row of polished silverwares like huge walls that separate her world from yours. She looked at your face one more time, you seemed pretty relaxed and like you were no strangers to those “big plates and little food” places.

She frightened. Your hands waved in the air while you commended the food, and you told her with a big smile on your face, “Liz-ah… their steak is really nice, do you like it? If you like it here, we can come here more often. You deserve the best, babe.”

“Do I really?” … Her heart skipped a bit.

It was at that moment; a decision was made by Liz.

“He… he’ll be better off without me, without someone who takes away his meal stipend for flowers and tuition money for a bottle of wine…”

You didn’t see a drop of tear fell of her beautiful chin in silence.

“But tonight, I’m going to give him everything. I’m leaving but I am going to love him so well that he’ll have enough warmth to last the entire lifetime…”

“Babe, it was really a nice meal. I love you so much! Wanna come to my place?” Liz managed to smile as happily as she could.

“Hell yeah…” You could read her implication; your face started to burn but you couldn’t contain your excitement and eagerness.

But maybe for the only time, that intellectual brain of yours guessed it wrong.

The taxi ride back to her place was nothing but silence. You thought you were both nervous for the incoming romance and intimacy for the anniversary night. But Liz had a mental breakdown, repeating the breakup message she’d sent you like a mantra.

You held her hand tightly as you exited the taxicab, you let her lead the way up the stairs. You loved her, you were excited and impatient. You started to plant soft kisses onto Liz’s neck on the stair case. The night breeze blew through your body and you both shivered, you pulled Liz closer to you for a hug, murmuring maybe for the fiftieth time for the night, “Liz… babe, I love you so much.”

It all sounded like a pitiful lie to her.

The door was unlocked; Liz flicked the light switch open. The dim, orange lamp adds a bit warmth to the atmosphere. You remembered how eager Liz was.

Her mouth was already all over yours. You thought it was the alcohol kicking in as you felt a bit lightheaded. But you didn’t expect Liz to be this... aggressive. It was not the first time you two had intimate moments like this, but she was always on that shy side. You were the one that initiated and took the lead.

Instead, she pushed you against her bedroom wall while she impatiently kicked off her flats. “Babe... give me everything tonight. Don’t leave any regret behind.” She said as she gave you another wet, open-mouthed kiss.

“Regret? Damn... this girl is going all in!” You felt like a winner. It must’ve been the date night you spent a lot of efforts planning made her so happy. It must’ve been that you showed how deeply you loved her, that she was moved and wanted to love you as much in return.

So, when her fingers scratched and dug a little bit too deep into your chest, you didn’t feel the pain. Instead, you took it as a love language of how deeply she loved you. But for Liz, as she watched the angry red lines bloom across your chest—marks left by her own desperate, searching fingertips - Liz didn’t see a sign of passion.

To her, those scratches were a handwritten ledger of everything she was about to give up. They weren't meant to hurt you; they were Liz’s final, selfish attempt to make sure that for at least a few days, you couldn't even change your shirt without feeling the ghost of her touch. Of course, you never knew it.

You felt so triumphed that you finally won her.

You felt so inspired that Liz finally gave herself to you.

You felt so loved that her body and yours are merging into one.

For Liz... it was how she tried so hard to trace every inch of your skin for one last time. It was her attempt to touch you, to feel you as much as possible. When she left, she could hold on to the texture of your body a bit longer. Liz was mentally archiving the shape of you. The knob on your shoulders for days of sitting and studying, the muscles of your arms.

Liz moved with a desperate, silent greed, memorizing the weight of your limbs like a student cramming for an exam she was destined to fail. She wanted to lock the heavy rhythm of your heartbeat into her bones, creating a relic of you inside her mind that she could mourn once she exiles herself from your future.

You kissed her back, only to realize Liz’s eyes were shut the whole time. Maybe she was just lost in the sensation, maybe you made her feel so overwhelmed from the desires that she needed to mute one of her senses to focus on the others.

What you didn’t know was how she tried her best to not lock onto you gaze before her decision crumbles. Her decision to break her heart, and yours, for your future success.

You shifted your hands lower and lower, light touches here and there. Her small but perky tits, flat tummy and eventually to her swollen entrance beneath the black lace pantie.

“Liz-Ah... you’re already so wet for me.” You teased, sliding one finger into her.

“Mmph....” She responded with nothing but a breathy moan. Her hips locked onto your hands a bit tighter, eyes still closed.

Although she tried her best to not let go of your finger inside her, the pleasure pushed her to give in. Her arms crossed around your neck; her pretty doll eyes started to flutter from the sensation.

Once, twice. She started to grind into your finger, so you added in one more into her.

“Oppa... you are making me feel so good... don’t ever leave me...” Liz slipped out a weak murmur. You thought it was just a “standard” thing girls say when they’re aroused.

Liz meant it. She never wanted you to go. But she knew she had to leave herself.

Your hardness almost broke through the fabric of your boxers, so you removed your fingers from Liz and started to unbuckle your belt.

She was lying on her back, breath hitching from the sensation. Liz put her delicate finger onto her clit, drawing lazy circles.

“Mmph… Oppa, give it all to me tonight… Let me feel you already.” Liz murmured.

“Yes… babe, tell me any time if it is too much, ok?” You can’t wait, lining the itching tip of your shaft against her wet entrance. You rub it a few times before pushing into her tight walls. For a moment, you wondered why she didn’t tell you to put on a condom like every single time you two had sex before.

Maybe she wanted to really feel you for once.

You kneeled on her mattress, hands hovering on her waists. Liz put a pillow beneath her back to support it, her big, watery eyes finally locked straight into your gaze. You couldn’t resist the way she looked at you, it only made you want to love her more.

Hence you started your thrusts, deeper and faster each time.

“Mmph… just like that Oppa… I love you… I LOVE YOU!” Liz cried out. “She must be really enjoying the pleasure right now.” You thought, your hips never stopped moving.

Her angelic moans were the catalyst of your unstoppable climax and you were surprised that how closely she clung onto your body and how tightly her fluttering folds squeezed your itching length. It had never been like this before. You grinned; felt so fucking proud of everything you gave her tonight.

“Liz… babe… come for me, don’t hold back…” You noticed how her eyes started to dilate; her legs started to tremble under your grasp. She was close.

“Yes! Yes… I’m gonna come… shit!” Liz rarely cursed, when she did, you knew she was on hell of a ride. She sat up from the bed, hiding her face into your neck as you kept pushing deep inside her. You relocated your palms from her small but firm butt onto her face, pulling her close for a long, wet kiss as you felt her giving herself into you.

“Oppa! I… I am coming! Ah shit… I can never love you enough.” A hitched cry came out from Liz’s glossy lips as she planted another kiss onto your neck.

But what came with her climax was unexpected. First of all, you felt her walls started to spasm, flooding your hard shaft with her sweet nectar. It lasted quite long, longer than it ever had. Meanwhile, you felt a hard sting on your neck. Liz bit down onto your skin with a force that was as hard as her orgasm.

A hickey? Liz had got that dark romantic spirit in her. You thought.

She didn’t feel the same.

Liz didn't just want to kiss you; she wanted to leave a bruise that looked like a blooming rose—a twin to the bouquet you bought her.

She wanted a mark that would turn purple and then yellow, a slow-fading sunset of your relationship. She silently screamed a goodbye into your soul while you groaned out her name in a victory cry.

“Liz!... Fuck…” You quickly felt the urge to come after her, with the pain on your neck surprisingly boosted your pleasure.

“Don’t pull out! Oppa… Let me feel you inside me… please!” Liz begged, eyes already full of tears.

“Did it feel that good?” You didn’t have the time to finish the thought as the pleasure started to emerge and rushed down your spine. Your abdomen started shaking violently, you could’ve help but to push Liz down to the bed and give her one final, deep thrust.

You soon gave in. Spurts after spurts of your essence were pumped into Liz’s body, mixing with her own nectar. Her walls kept fluttering, milking every last drop that you had left in your balls. The oxytocin soon kicked in, you dived your face into her chest, inhaling the faint scent of her vanilla body wash, mixing with a hint of the salt from her sweat.

You planted kiss after kiss on her tits, each time murmuring something like how you loved her and how you would never let her leave you.

“I really love you too… Oppa.” She smiled, faintly.

Your world soon blacked out as Liz kept caressing your messy hair with her fingers. Her addicting scent and soft strokes made your eyes feel heavier and heavier.

That was the last time you see her. What you didn’t witness after was how Liz hid herself next to your body for the whole night with non-stop sobbing and crying.

Next morning, she was already gone by the time you woke up from the beyond-exhausting sex that took place. A short text was sent to you, Liz told you she headed to work already. Your clothes were nicely folded beside you, a cup of coffee was already half-cold, still waiting for you to drink it.

“Last night was a new start of Liz and I, we’re destined to be lovers forever.” You told yourself.

“Last night was the finale of Oppa and I, we’re destined to be apart from now.” Liz cried again in work.

---

Two more cans of beer had been dumped into your stomach that’s filled with nothing but alcohol.

You don’t understand. You genuinely don’t. You thought that anniversary date was a banger. It was an extraordinary attempt to compensate Liz for not being able to take care of her as a girlfriend during the busy days of your exams.

You don’t understand why she’d left despite she seemed so happy at night when she held the bouquet. That bouquet you acquired by skipping your daily caffeine: your only source of happiness in this world besides Liz herself. You thought the roses were a promise. You didn't know she was looking at them like they were a funeral wreath.

You don’t understand why she felt so timid in that restaurant and asked you shyly, “w.., which fork is for salad again?”

“Ah babe, take it easy, use whichever one you feel like. You can even use the spoon, no one is gonna judge you here.” You responded with a confident grin because you wanted her to feel at home. But in this room filled with alcohol-scented air, you realized it was probably a mistake. Maybe the way you tried to liberate those etiquettes for her was making her feel uncomfortable and not belonging.

Your stomach had growled through the entire three-course meal, a hollow reminder of the breakfasts that you’d skipped for a month. But every time you looked across the candlelight at Liz, the hunger didn't matter. You’d trade a thousand meals just to see the way the restaurant’s gold light caught her eyes.

You had a spreadsheet. You knew exactly how many days of ramen it took to afford that bottle of wine she liked. You felt like a genius for pulling it off, like you were finally playing the part of the successful man she always deserved.

You had calculated the cost of that night down to the cent. You felt like a king when you handed the waiter your card, even though you knew your bank account was screaming. But now, staring at the empty beer cans, you feel like a fraud.

“Maybe she saw the way my hand shook when the bill came. Maybe she left because she realized she was dating a man who had to choose between a bottle of wine and a week of proper meals. Maybe she didn’t need someone who needed to skip his coffee just to buy her roses …” You murmur in the darkness.

She deserved better.

You stumble your way to the bathroom, not even bothering to turn on the lights. The dim moonlight shines through the curtains, projecting your silhouette onto the walls. The strong urge to vomit makes your gut tangle, but you can only cough and nothing comes out of your mouth. Because you haven’t eaten for a damn long while.

You try to ease the discomfort by splashing cold water onto your face. You stare at your reflection in the mirror but you don’t recognize this person in front of you. Eyes are red, beards are unshaved and hair is messy. Days of skipping meals had already made your jaw line visibly thinner.

Why would Liz ever love a guy like this?

A sense of self-pitying and guilt starts to wrench your exhaust heart. All those sweet moments you had with Liz started to become bitter. You begin to doubt yourself.

Maybe if you didn’t study at that dinner date, she would’ve not seen you as an academic prick that values textbooks more than his girlfriend.

Maybe if your lips didn’t twitch when you signed the bill, she would’ve really trusted you that her life would be better being with you.

Maybe if you didn’t slip the fact that the bouquet was the product of you cutting your caffeine… at least you should’ve still gone to the shop to see her after work.

Or maybe, if you were simply a better person… better to the extend to deserve an angel like her.

You think, at this point, the reason why she left you was clear enough. But you want to give it one more chance because something you see from the mirror.

The hickey that she planted on your neck.

It had already turned yellowish, the bruise that you interpreted as a mark of eternal love was actually an unforeseeable goodbye. By the time it fades, Liz will be long gone. Your relationship with her would already vanish into the void. You hover your trembling fingers onto the faint mark, so afraid that the last tether you have to Liz would disappear. You stare dead into your reflection. One last time.

You wake up your phone, the picture of you and Liz wearing cat-ears is still there.

You just turned it into black and white.

You click into your contacts; the entire page of recent calls is nothing but Liz. But none of the calls ever went through, why should it be any different this time?

“She’s not coming back…” You cry out, tapping the call button regardless.

---

Liz is still standing beneath the roof in the pouring rain. Perhaps an hour had passed? Maybe two. She couldn’t keep track. She had been waiting. Waiting for what? She didn’t even know.

“Oppa… if you still have feelings for me, would you call me? I blocked your number before because I was so afraid that I couldn’t stop myself from running back to you the moment I hear you speak. But, I… I don’t dare to call you first, I’m so afraid that you got mad at me. Even you did, I am not blaming you at all. It was my fault that I left you like this… you… you’re just so far away, I’ll never be able to catch up to you.” She sobs.

Liz then feels something vibrating in the pocket of her jeans. She pulls out her phone and the screen is lit. The same lockscreen as yours: you, her, cat ears. She thinks it is her colleague calling to check if she’s home safe.

“Oh my god…” A fire is lit both on her face and inside her heart.

---

“Liz!!! Can you hear me? Liz!!!” You scream as for a miracle; Liz picks up your call.

You can hear nothing but rain dropping to the ground and occasional car-honking. She does not say a world. Only the consistent, non-stopping rain is reminding you she’s still there. Is she listening?

“L…Liz-ah, I am so sorry.” You quiet down, afraid that you’ll scared Liz away and this one and only chance will go to waste. Chill until you at least figure out the reason.

“Liz... I... should’ve not studied when you asked me out.” You start what you know is the chain of confession and apology.

“I… I was so afraid that if I fucked up that test, I would miss that scholarship threshold. If I didn’t get that stipend, I would be forced to go back to my parents’ house and attend school in my hometown! I… I couldn’t risk to leave you, Liz-ah…” You try your best to be calm, but the sobbing betrays you.

She does not say a thing. You can barely hear Liz’s uneven breath through the call, maybe she is giving you a chance? You don’t know, but you proceed.

“I am so sorry Liz… I should’ve been more confident that night. I really looked like a fraud, weren’t I? I must’ve been wolfing down the steak because I’d never been to such a fancy place before, I am sorry if that made us look bad. Liz-ah, please forgive me! I… I was indeed very hungry…” You are a stutter, crying mess although you tried your best to behave.

“Because I ate fucking instant noodles for weeks to save up money! Liz… I promise I’ll work harder; I’ll find a part-time job to give you more. Please! Please give me a chance!” You are both drunk and sad as hell, your neighbor may even call the police if they can see you hysterically screaming into the phone.

She is still speechless. Only a wet, repeating sound of something hitting onto the walk way.

“Thud, thud, thud…”

You see your own lifeline slip through your finger. But you want to give it a last stand.

“Please… don’t hang up! Liz-ah… I didn’t lose interest in you because I visited your boba shop less frequently!” You heart sinks, tears dropping without control. This is the last thing you want her to know. But this may be the final chance you get to talk to her, she has to know.

She deserves to know… even if that makes you look really bad.

“I HAD to cut my daily iced coffee… not because I didn’t want to see you! I switched to drinking Celsius instead… it was cheaper that way. So, I could add one more dozen of pink roses to the bouquet to make it 24… Liz-ah, do you know why?” You sigh, anticipating a response that you have no faith in receiving.

“Because I love you 24 hours a day. Liz…” You fall onto the floor.

Nothing. Only the frantic noise through the phone as the wind blows harshly into her microphone.

There is a weird sense of relief creeping up your chest, you stare into your phone emptily.

“She’s letting me speak, not because she wants to stay, but because she’s kind. Liz was always kind. She’s giving me a final defense before reading out my death sentence. She’s waiting for me to finish so she can say 'Goodbye' and hang up forever.”

You’ll be glad that you made the biggest mistake in this relationship with Liz.

“Liz! I am sorry! I never deserved you …” You scream one last time into the phone.

Weird enough, you hear your own voice echoing back to your ear through the door. Fortunately, the excess alcohol (double digits of cans, to be exact) did not fully take away your ability to speculate.

You dash to your apartment door like a mad dog, swing the door handle open violently. The door smashes your arm but you don’t care. Because Liz is there.

She is a sobbing mess, just like yourself. Her breath is still hitching; her chest moves up and down so fast that you think she is about to pass out. Her makeup is almost gone, only a faint line of her eyeliners staining on each side of her cheeks. Strands of her messy hair stick onto her forehead because of the rain.

“Oppa… I am so sorry…” Liz falls into your chest, looking up to you. Her pretty doll eyes are watery, filled with nothing but pure guilt.

It is at this moment; you figure everything out. Liz was not acting to be patient; she was not trying to offer you her final bit of mercy by letting you finish everything you wanted to say to her before burying your relationship in the past.

She was sprinting in the rain.

She was running like she was about to lose it all.

She was letting the rain showering her slim frame, hoping that can cleanse her guilt.

She was letting the storm brushing through her shaking body, praying that can blow away how much she was mistaken.

Occasional cars drove pass her, splashing water onto Liz. But she didn’t give a damn.  

People gave her weird looks as a girl was running in the rain, crying like someone had hurt her. But Liz couldn’t care less.

Because all she cared was you.

---

She can barely stand from the exhaustion of sprinting a mile in the heavy rain. You gently pull her into the apartment so she doesn’t catch a cold. “Oppa... I owe you an apology… is it too late to apologize?” Liz’s tone is weak, but her gaze with nothing but sincere.

“It is never too late… Liz-ah! I… I am the one that should say sorry.” You take off her rain-soaked jacket, leave it on the couch while pulling her closer.

“Oppa… I thought I was a liability of you… I am so sorry…” Liz murmurs, her chest moves up and down unevenly.

“Liz-ah… you’re never… I can never love you enough. I promise I’ll give you more from now on, would you give me that chance?” You inhale deeply, trying to take in all of her scent. The vanilla shampoo is fading, gradually replaced by the fresh smell of the rain.

“Oppa, I will never leave again!” She sobs.

You stare at her face; she is still gorgeous despite the blurred makeup. Her cheeks are flushed from the intense running, looking a peach that you suddenly have the urge to acquire a taste.

“Liz-ah, we can save that conversation for later. Now we are gonna get you dry before you get sick, ok?” You let her go, fingers caressing her wet hair. Liz’s tiny body is still shaking; you know for a fact that she’d get a fever if a hot shower is not applied soon.

You carefully hold her hand through the messy kitchen area that you didn’t bother to organize at all: bear cans everywhere, some instant noodle crumbs are just idling on the table, dished still yet to be washed.

“Oppa, did you drink all of this?” Liz asks, while sneezes heavily.

“Yeah… was too sad to have you go like this, but hey! Aren’t you here again? Let… let me worry about it later, we’re gonna take of you first, princess.”

She is amused from the title, one hand covering her mouth shyly but her grin is so obvious that she can’t hid even with both of her hands. You turn the water to the hottest temperature; the mirror starts to fog up as you look at Liz and yourself in the reflection.

Now you know how difficult was the past few days for both of you. Liz’s dark circles are almost at the size of her big eyes, her jawline just visibly thinner like yours. There is her tiny smile as she notices you staring at her through the mirror.

You won’t let her go this time. Not again. You turn around and lean in to kiss her.

Her pink lips are like fire that ignites the foggy bathroom, you cup her face with both of your palms as you keep savoring Liz’s plump lips. You both feel the hunger and eagerness that you tried so hard to suppress for days, now it is like a ruthless flood rushing through a falling dam.

Your tongue quickly enters her mouth, swirling with hers like you’re about to lose it all. You are. Your fingers impatiently unbutton Liz’s blouse, while she stumbles back a few steps to sit on the sink for support.

“Oppa…” This time you don’t let her finish, rarely. Days of separation and yearning for Liz had turned you into a desperate soul, if you had any left. Your hands wrap around her back, unhooking her bra in a shaky motion. The straps fall onto her body, revealing the full view of her upper body.

“I… I love you.” You stutter, before diving into her small but beautifully shaped tits. You put one of her nipples into your mouth softly, sucking her carefully. You are letting Liz know that you never abandoned her, instead you are always worshipping her.

“Mmph!” An airy moan comes through her mouth. You don’t stop. You know she needs it.

You flick your tongue back and forth around her nipple, you feel Liz’s breath hitching each time your hungry movement touches her sensitive tip. You don’t ignore the rest of her stunning frame, of course. Hands all over her firm butt – not the biggest in size, but absolutely perfect for you to grab.

Liz starts to feel the sensation that had been absent for the past week as well, her shaking hands are already on her jeans, unzipping the denim herself before lifting her hips to let the fabric drop to the humid wooden floor.

“I wanna see Oppa too, take your pants off for me~.” Her voice is like honey. You oblige without any hesitation. Your fingers are just as unsteady as hers, missing once before unbuckling your belt and kicking off your pants and boxer.

Your length springs free, Liz wraps her hand around it immediately. A shiver travels up your spine, assaulting your brain that you let out an involuntary moan. “I see it now, Oppa is not lying. I still turn you on~” She teases.

“Fuck… Liz, you always did. Always.” You manage to respond with a cracking tone, hands sliding into her plain black pantie with a white bow on the tip. She is already wet. Wet to the point that friction is almost non-existent as your finger slides directly into her juicy pussy.

“And you’re doing the same to me, oppa… you’re stretching me open with you finger… give me more, Oppa.” Liz mumbles into your ear while you bury your face into her other nipple. You leave slurpy, wet kisses all the way from her tits down to her tummy, to between her legs. The mushy, slightly salty scent of arousal dashes directly into your nostril through the thin fabric.

You kiss her folds through her damp panties; Liz’s response is instant. Her body locks tight and her watery eyes lose focus for a heartbeat. You take your time, hands roaming on her inner thighs and you alternate between touches and light scratches with your fingers.

“Oppa… Please do it already!” Liz moans while her legs clamping your head slightly.

“Aw~ Liz babe… look at you, how impatient. Weren’t you the one that made me wait, baby girl?” Suddenly a twisted thought comes across your head: her innocent, aroused face turned you on in such of a wicked way. You always gave her everything without any second thoughts, but maybe you want to listen to her ask for it?

“Honey, you deserve everything from me. But you are going to use your words, say it out loud and I’ll give it to you. Now what do you want from me?” A smirk climbs up to the tip of your lips.

“Hhmph… Oppa, you’re so bad! I… just… please!” Liz’s face turns from a peach into a tomato.

“Oh. Am I the bad one? I thought I was the victim,” you pout with an obviously fake impatience. “I think you are the bad girl that blocked me without a heads up! But it is fine, because I loved you as always… Tell me exactly though, ‘please’ what? Please let go of you so you can shower, right?” You tease.

“Oppa… I hate you! Please… please eat…” She now let’s go of your cock, instead both hands are covering her faces right now. Her face that is so red from the arousal and the embarrassment.

“Please eat a proper meal? Yeah… I’ve been dumping instant noodles into my poor tummy cuz of you, baby Liz? Hmm?” You push one more time.

She snaps. “Ah! Oppaaaa~ Please eat my pussy already! U… use it however you want if it makes you feel better!  T…treat me as your cumdump for the night if you wish… (sobs) I am so sorry Oppa…”

You snap too.

You never expected such lewd words would come from the purest girl you had in your life. But you also did not mean to hurt her even more. You’re here to make her feel your love, not to treat her as someone who exists just to fulfill your desires. You don’t want her to feel sorry for you, you just want her to be there. To simply exist.

So, you answer her by gently pulling off her panties down to her ankles and approach her swollen folds slowly. “Liz-ah… I was just kidding… I’ll make you feel really good. I try.”

You plant a soft kiss on Liz’s clit; her hands reach for your head in a blink of an eye. She pulls you closer as you slowly worship her beautiful pussy. Your lips wrap around her clit, sucking it like you’re tasting the cherry on top of a cupcake. The effect is electric, her body shivers faster – you are certain that it is not because of the rain previously, it is purely from arousal.

You insert your tongue into her folds, gently slides it across Liz’s wet, smooth walls. You look up to her. Her doll eyes are already shut from the sensation and her back arches forward to let you take in more of her.

“Look at me baby, look at how I am taking care of you, how I am making you feel good.” You murmur while your mouth is still doing its work – non-stop licking and kissing.

“Mmph…” Liz opens her eyes; you kneel on the bathroom floor while your head is deep between her thighs. The view makes the gap between her breathes shorter and shorter. “Oppa... don’t stop, I am so close!” Your oral movement is nowhere close to a halt, not when your precious Liz asks you like this.

You keep lapping her pussy with nothing but pure hunger and devotion. “C…come for me, Liz-ah… I am always yours.” You encourage.

“Don’t stop! Oppa… don’t you ever stop!” Liz is almost there, her pupils start to dilate and her thighs clamping even tighter.

“Give it all to me Liz… I’ve been waiting, fuck… I missed you so bad. Come for me…” You plant another soft kiss onto her swollen clit, and there it comes.

“F…fuck! I am coming!” Liz reaches her climax; her legs shake violently that she has to hold on to your head to not fall of from the sink. Her pussy flutters, waves of waves of her nectar flooding into your mouth. You take them all in, licking her folds continuously through her orgasm.  

You get back up on your feet; legs already numb from the kneeling. But you feel so relaxed because you gave Liz the pleasure, she’s always deserved. She pulls you in for an open mouth kiss, tasting herself from your lips.

Maybe a minute had passed, maybe more. You finally pull back, Liz walks into the shower before embracing her from behind. Liz’s body is still trembling from the aftershocks of her orgasm; her thighs slick not just from the shower but from the way she came so hard on your tongue.

You hold her closer, water streaming down her back, washing away the rain and the days of grief. Her small frame fits perfectly against yours, her wet hair plastered to her shoulders, those big doll eyes half-lidded and glassy with lingering pleasure and fresh tears.

“Oppa…” Liz whispers while turning around, barely audible over the spray. Her fingers trace the fading hickey on your neck, then the scarlet scratches she left on your chest the night she thought she was saying goodbye.

“I was so stupid… I thought I was saving you from me.”

You silence her with a deep kiss, tasting the salt of her tears mixed with the clean heat of the water. “No more thinking, Liz-ah. Just feel me. Let me show you how much I need you.”

Liz reads it. She arches her back forward, hands supporting herself on the door handle. Her full, bouncy butt is on full display. You gulp, already anticipating the long-gone warmth of Liz. You waste no time, lining up your itching cock in front of her folds – still wet from the previous release.

“Liz-ah, I… I am going in, let me know any time if you want me to chance anything.” You nervously make an announcement.

“Give it all to me, Oppa… however you like.” She turns her head around, before biting her bottom lip intentionally to allure you.

And it fucking works.

Her fucking dimple always works, never fail to trap you.

“Liz… you’re fucking gorgeous, do you know that?” You grunt, pushing all the way into her slick pussy in one go. She is incredibly wet, and warm like she had always been. Her walls are clenching onto your twitching length so hard like she’s so scared to ever let you go again.

“Mmph… I missed you Oppa… I missed you in me like this, filling me up really good.” Liz moans softly – she normally wouldn’t talk in sex, but you know she means every word if she does say something.

“Liz-ah, I missed you so much too.” You realize you haven’t released yourself for a week too. And as expected, the urge to do so is incredibly strong thanks to how smooth and velvety Liz feels.

Then you start your thrusting. The shower room is like a sauna right now; the mirror had been fogged up and the view of you slamming into Liz’s body becomes a blur.

You hold on to Liz’s hips as you gradually lose yourself into her wetness and warmth. A few breathy moans escape your throat while you keep pushing in and out of Liz in an almost frantic motion. The gut-wrenching self-pitying and loneliness are replaced by neediness and hunger.  

You fuck into her harder, the hot water amplifies the sound of your wet skin slapping onto hers. Liz’s sobs and moans are getting louder at the same time, raw, aroused. “Oppa… just like that, don’t stop please!” Her tone cracks, half from the relief and half from the pleasure after all those empty days.

You lean forward, body pressing again her back. One hand slides up her chest and caresses her tits while the other tightens the grip on her hip. Every thrust is sending ripples through her tiny frame, her ass bounces back against me with each deep stroke.

“Mmph… Liz-ah, you are perfect, so fucking perfect.” You groan against her, kissing her lobe. She whimpers, pushing back harder, her body demanding more. She reaches back, nails scraping your thigh, urging you even deeper.

“I love you… I love you so much, Oppa…” The words tumble out between shaky breaths, her walls fluttering wildly around you. You feel her getting close again, legs trembling, breath coming in short desperate bursts.

You slide your hand down between her legs, rubbing tight circles on her sensitive clit while you keep pounding into her from behind. “Come for me again, baby. Let me feel it.” That’s all it takes.

Liz cries out sharply, her walls pulse violently. Her second wave of climax is doing its work to push you through the finish line with her.

“Liz… I love you…fuck!” You groan, slamming deep one final time. The flood overwhelms your sanity, your cock twitches violently, spilling every drop of your own essence inside her. You keep yourself deep inside her until the mixture of your nectar and her juice leaks out around your cock and running down Liz’s thighs. You stay locked together, panting heavily, her back still pressed to your chest as the water keeps pouring over you both.

Slowly you pull out, turning her gently to face you. Her eyes are glassy, cheeks flushed deep pink, that sweet dimple showing even now. You kiss Liz softly at first, then deeper, holding her tight under the steady spray.

There’s no word needed. You’ve already found your rhythm under the pouring, warm water.

Neither of you want to move as you two enjoy the most perfect moment. Euler’s stupid little formula doesn’t even come close in terms of perfection.

---

A proper shower took place. You took your time washing every inch of your purest angel clean, before wrapping her around with a big towel and kiss your forehead gently. Liz laughs shyly, “Oppa~”

“Hmm?” You raise an eye brow.

“I… I didn’t bring my clothes over, hehehe…” She smiles.

“Ah, that is no problem at all Miss, I shall be right back.”

You walk into your bedroom and open your wardrobe. There is that oversized T-shirt you always let her “borrow” when she stayed over. You return to the bathroom, patiently putting the shirt on Liz’s tiny body. The tip of the shirt even reaches her knees and you cannot stop yourself from laughing. She’s back.

“Stop~ Oppa…” Liz blushes.

“Alright princess… it was a really… tough night. We shall get some rest?” You offer.

“Yes, Oppa.” Liz nods quietly.

To her surprise, you scoop her into your princess carry. Liz keeps laughing, mumbling something like, “Let me down!” or “Are we really doing this?”

She then notices the fading hickey on your neck. She then kisses the mark she left on you last week, bringing your attention back to her.

“Hmm?” You ask.

“The hickey, Oppa. I thought it was a farewell kiss.” Liz says.

“That’s too naïve of you babe, it is a milestone and a new beginning.” You pout, putting her onto your bed.

You fall onto the mattress after her, no more mess, just clean sheets and each other. You pull the duvet over both of you, the fabric still smelling faintly of the laundry detergent you stole from Liz a month ago - a scent you had spent the last week burying your face in while you sobbed.

“Oppa?” she whispers, her voice small and muffled against your skin.

“Yeah, babe?”

“No more skipping meals,” she says, and you feel her grip on your shirt tighten. “I heard everything. I was running, and I was crying, and I was so mad at myself…” Liz looks up, “I thought I was the one distracting you.”

“L…Liz-ah, I… was trying so hard to be someone who can give you everything. But I forgot to be the man that just… loves you with my heart.” You confess with a shaky laugh.

She leans in, her forehead resting against yours.

“Tomorrow,” she whispers, a tired dimple appearing. “We’re going to the market. We’re buying real food. And then... I’m taking you to the shop. I’m making you the biggest boba on the menu, and you’re going to sit there and watch me work, and you aren’t going to think about a single equation. Okay?”

“Okay Liz.” you breathe out, the last of the tension leaving your shoulders.

---

Morning.

The sun does not come out like it is supposed to, like a grand finale of a fiction. But you have Liz still snoring quietly on your side. And that’s enough. That’s more than enough.

You stare at outside of the window, the rain is still going non-stop, the sky is still dim. But you reach out for your phone, unlocking it and go directly into the settings. Your fingers move fast, and a satisfied smirk is on your face.

You put your phone back onto the night stand and hide yourself back under the duvet again.

Your phones are side by side; you tap both of the screens at the same time. The identical picture shows up on the lockscreen.

You.

Liz.

With cat ears.

Colorful this time. The black and white filter is gone.

“Hey! You must be my new roommate! Nice to meet you, my name is Gaeul.” By the time I step back inside with the last bag, a girl is already standing by the kitchen island, greeting me with a warm smile. Her outfit is very casual, a simply white T-shirt with an unzipped jacket and pair of jeans. Her eyes winks behind her glasses – makeup minimal, long hair that’s dyed pink naturally fall to the side of her shoulders.

“Oh hey! Sorry for getting stuff messy! Hi Gaeul, nice to meet you too!” I quickly introduce myself, and based on the conversation, Gaeul should be my noona. And indeed, I can catch a bit of those caring vibes inside her.

“Are you still in school? Or what do you do for a living?” Gaeul hands me a cup of ice water, perfect for this hot weather. I finish half of the cup in one big gulp, explaining how I ended up here.

“Aw… parental pressure, I see.” Her smile is still genuine, no judges, no comments, just welcoming and polite. “How about you? Gaeul-noona, what do you do?” I shut the door behind me as I finally move the last luggage inside of the apartment.

“You don’t have to be so formal, Gaeul is fine.” She giggles, cheeks tinting just a little. “And me? I write songs, and I sing.”

“Ah, so you are a musician!” I respond.

“Hehehe… part time musician is more accurate, gotta pay the bills first, you know.” Gaeul laughs shyly, like I just handed her the biggest compliment in years. “Most of the time I work at that pub across the block, serving, cashier kinda stuff.”

“I see I see, well, I gotta start tidying up my stuff before it gets too late. Will talk to you more later!” I give her a polite nod while standing up from the couch, offering my hand. Gaeul shakes my hand very lightly, her cold skin contrasts with her warm smile.

“Okie, I won’t bother you then. Let me know if you need anything, ok?” Gaeul then heads back to her own room, leaving the door slightly ajar. I kneel on the carpet and unzips my suitcases, the apartment is very clean and neat – minimal in decorations but the carpet is soft and fluffy, walls white without a single stain, the dishes are organized nicely on the shelf.

I feel a really cautious sense of relief as I step in my room. Maybe about 150 square feet in size? The landlord was kind enough to leave a bed with mattress, a wardrobe and a desk in the room. I stuff the clothes into the wardrobe, pillows and sheet on the bed, push the empty suitcase beneath the bed and that’s basically it for my move in. Well, what more do you expect from a broke ass college student? My bone starts to protest after this long way, so I stretch my body and let the bed embrace me.

I suddenly think of Gaeul. Well, at least I got a really quiet and nice roommate. Not like the ones who drinks and parties with their friends in a shared space. “Don’t get too attached though, she is just a roommate being nice.” I remind myself.

-

The following a few weeks are pretty monotone, I have minimal interaction with Gaeul anyways. I wake up each morning, feeling light-headed and muscles aching, but life goes on, isn’t it? I walk to my college across the street, finish those classes that God knows if they are useful in real life then I dip. Maybe a quick snack or lunch? Then I work to the cafeteria style dining hall in my school until dusk. 5 days a week, 6 hours per day. Since Gaeul works the night shift in the pub, she usually already left by the time my tired body arrives at the apartment. And similarly, when I get up, her bedroom is closed, occasional snoring sounds as I pass by her door for washroom.

Maybe she is really tired as well.

Over the weekends, I just stay in my room, writing fictions or just play games with my friends online as a coping mechanism. Meanwhile, Gaeul uses her free time doing her music stuff. I see a guitar stand in her room, as the guitar sits on her laps, her headphone is on while making her music.

We sometimes order takeouts together, quoting Gaeul, it is “splitting to lower the delivery fee”. Or we sometimes just eat at a different time. Even if we eat together, the conversation is minimal. Maybe a simple “How’s your week?”, plus some “Not bad, yourself?”. She never asks me about my school work or my cafeteria shift. I feel odd to start the conversation too, so neither do I ask about her “music production.” That is good, roommates are just roommates, an appropriate boundary is always the way to go.

There is just one thing odd.

Her kindness.

I feel like Gaeul is being too nice. We cook our own meals and share the fridge, that is normal. But starting the second week after I moved in? Sometimes when I opened the fridge, there would be a sticky note on some container. It either says something like “Don’t skip breakfast!”, or “I cooked extra food in the blue container, feel free to eat it before it expires! :)”.

Each time, I devour the food without thinking too much, I told myself, “She’s just being a good roommate, don’t read into it. People like Gaeul is just nice to everyone, I’m not an exception. I should instead be grateful for having roommate like her.”

Until today. I drag my almost-dead body back from a long cafeteria shift as usual – was assigned to carry the milk from the delivery truck to the storage for a minimum hourly wage. I yank the fridge open with rage, only to see a dozen-pack of Celsius with another sticky note on it. “I bought this after shift last night, there was a promotion, I thought you’d like it. Drink as many as you want. – G.”

How does she know I like Celsius? I feel confused, but cracking one open anyway. The familiar spark hits my tongue, and for a second the exhaustion eases. Then the thought creeps in: “She remembered. From that first night.” I swallow hard. On the night I moved in, Gaeul cooked us some hearty, comforting dish, saying it was her “Welcoming of the new member of the apartment.” She asked me what drink I wanted; I then casually slipped the fact that I am a hardcore caffeine addict so she handed me a can of Celsius. “Caffeine really helps sometimes, huh? I don’t drink energy drinks so I won’t get to taste this, I guess. My friend gave this to me but now it’s yours!”

“Yay! Thank you Gaeul, this is fire.” I took the Celsius, chugged it in a blink of an eye. “You know? This taste so much better than that cheap ass brewed coffee they offer in my cafeteria, but they are free because I work there, so I guess why not?”

“Hehehe, don’t be too strict to yourself, treat yourself better! Buy what you want to drink, you know.” Gaeul giggles.

“Nah… maybe when my life gets less messy.”

…

I try to stay up late until Gaeul is back so I can thank her in person, but my exhausted body eventually give in and sleep claims me. The next time I open my eyes, I am lying on the couch in the living room, with a blanket on my body. I stand up and scan the darkness around me; there is some faint light beneath Gaeul’s bedroom door: she is still awake.

Her door is shut, but I walk to her room regardless. I lean on the door to see if she is making music so I know if I should knock or not. Nothing but some light humming – maybe chilling after work? I hesitate, hand already on the cold, steel door handle. Am I overstepping? Am I just thinking too much? Gaeul buys roommate the drink he likes because there is a promotion, it is not that big of a deal, right? She is just too nice. Why can’t she just be a jerk so I don’t have to feel this?

I can feel my face blush, just a little bit though. I eventually fold. I scribble the note on a sticky pad, the pen scratching louder than usual in the quiet apartment. My handwriting looks shaky. I stick it on the fridge next to her last one, the ink still wet.

“Thank you so much Gaeul, let me know how much it is so I can pay you back!”

I wait. Ten minutes past. Then ten more. The light through Gaeul’s door gap doesn’t get dimmer, and she also doesn’t come outside. I feel like my eyes don’t want to stay open anymore, so I escape back to my room.

-

I hear the door of his bedroom is closed, I finally stand up from my bed and reach for my door handle gently. I don’t want to wake him up. I saw him falling asleep on the couch earlier when I got back from work, he must be having a tough day.

I walk outside towards the kitchen, barefooted, it’ll be really awkward if he comes out right now. Oh goodness, he turned his light off already. I don’t see any light through his bedroom door. I open the fridge while having my eyes closed. I bought this Celsius drink that he mentioned during the first dinner we had that he’s obsessed with it. Am I being too much? Would it make things more awkward? Oh no… what should I do if he just didn’t see them? What if he just ignored because he felt like I am crossing boundaries?

I have no idea.

Like a child blushing for a surprise Christmas Gift, I slowly open my eyes. The box had been opened; he took a can. Oh! There is a sticky note, what does it say?

“Thank you so much Gaeul, let me know how much it is so I can pay you back!”

Oh boy, you definitely don’t have to be this gentle. But why am I blushing so hard? It is not the first time this happened though. Let me recall where did it all start.

Maybe it was when you were moving in? Hehehe…. You called me noona, very gentle yet a bit restraint. You just talked about your life, your parental problems, being forced to move out? And just the bare minimum financial support? That’s really cruel. But I adore your courage to take on challenges from life to get what you want. I saw a version of myself in you.

The version of myself who refused a full-time job offer – way higher wage than this pub job – to pursue my song writing dream. Maybe the suffer will all be worth it one day? I don’t know. But at least we always have to try.

I heard you once mentioned that you skip breakfast regularly just for 10 minutes of extra sleep. Gosh! What did life do to this poor boy? I guess making extra food while I am cooking and save it for my roommate isn’t crossing personal boundaries, right? I’m not sure. I can always see the container being washed and drained on the counter when I’m up. But I can’t see your thoughts.

I hope you maybe just treat me as a kind noona who cares about her roommate, I don’t want to get things complicated, what if you also have feelings for me? Oh Gaeul, please don’t be that naïve to yourself.

I remember you said you had a girlfriend in high school, but she broke up with you because she was being too possessive. You said she would call you ten times a day after class just “checking-in”, gosh. That was the time when I started to realize I shouldn’t be this obvious. So, I just kept things minimal, maybe a greet when we meet in the hallway. Sometimes you thanked me for the food I made you, I just smile gently but you know that just made me so happy.

Do I have feeling towards you? I don’t know… I really don’t see the reason why you’ll think the same about me. I am just a part-time songwriter and you are a community college student that’s trying to escape from strict parental controls, maybe we’re just destined to walk on different directions.

Do you know I started writing a song because of you? I don’t dare to say it is “for you”, because I can’t afford to lose a roommate who can accept me. Accept my oddness, accept me for being such a romantic. Gosh. Hopeless one. I named the song “My Jamais Vu”. We’ve been sharing the same roof for weeks, but each time I see you, it is like seeing a beautiful stranger. What’s under that mask of yours? I know you must be tired and stressed from life, but every time you give compliment the songs I share with you? Every time you leave sticky notes on the fridge, appreciating the food I made for you? Every time you text me to be careful when I end a late-night shift?

I couldn’t stop myself from thinking if you’re just being nice. You must be. If you have feelings for me, why wouldn’t you just say it out loud? Gosh… I really hope I didn’t annoy you by offering stuff to you. I am afraid that things would go weird, but I also cannot help myself from imagining the “what-ifs”. Did I just fall for you? I don’t know, but it makes me blush and worry at the same time….

-

Gaeul eventually didn’t tell me the price for those drinks. I secretly slipped a $20 bill into the pocket of her jacket and just hope she’ll take it without a fuss. Maybe she’ll think she left it there. Maybe she’ll know it is from me. But either way, I don’t feel like I am ready for her to ask me why.

Nothing really happened, though. When I drag my tired body back to the apartment the next day, she is already out for her night shift. The jacket is still missing in action, maybe she sees it, maybe not. But I am glad that she didn’t send me a text message to ask.

It was the most I interacted with Gaeul for the week, I don’t know if she sees the bill and thinks I am “buying” her kindness. But I can clearly tell she backs up a little. Is that because she is just being a nice roommate, but I am paying back her kindness with money? Damn, that’s maybe a bit rude from my side.

Anyway, I didn’t let that distinguish my anticipation for one of the most important days of the year. 22 years ago, I was given birth to this world. Maybe I can finally be happy for once and get myself out of the swamp named school work and cafeteria job. I wake up, heart already pounding. Last year my parents gave me a decent chunk of money for birthday, even if they are mad at me, I can still at least have the ability to have a nice meal outside today. Hmmm… do I want to invite Gaeul? She is so nice of a person and the vibe had been a bit awkward since that Celsius incident – we barely talked! Maybe I should pay the bill, and let her off the burden for a bit as well.

I then rub my sleepy eyes with the back of my hand, and my arm reach the table for my phone. Screen unlocked. No notification? Ah, maybe I forgot to turn on Wi-Fi. Wait, I did. Is the router even working? Why am I not receiving any messages? I start to panic. I sprint outside to the living room bare footed, and I immediately check the router beneath the TV.

Three green lights, pulse steady.

I restart my phone, still dead silence. I turn off Wi-Fi and use my cellular data instead, still dead silence. I am in desperate. Maybe they’ll call me, they probably haven’t woken up yet. I try my best to calm down and brush my teeth. I splash cold water onto my face while telling myself that I am just overthinking. It is not possible for my parents to forget their only son’s birthday, right?

I open the fridge, that familiar blue container is there. “Don’t skip breakfast! (Smiley face)”. sticky note on breakfast as usual. Oh yeah, I never told Gaeul it is my birthday today. Maybe she’ll cook more food if she knew it, she is just such a nice roommate, and a very caring noona. I quickly get myself ready and just set up a voicemail message on my phone before turning it to silence.

“Hey mom and dad, I am happy to have you call me today, it means a lot to me. I am in class or working my cafeteria job that I just found earlier, I’ll call you back after I get home!”

The entire day during back-to-back lectures and the cafeteria shift that comes right after, I wasn’t focusing. How I wanted to get out of this place faster! Maybe by the time I retrieve my phone from the locker (yeah, no phones during work but I guess that’s fair), I’ll see my account doubling in balance that I can just call Gaeul out as well to a feast! Korean barbeque sounds like a nice idea.

Screen unlocked. One notification. I immediately click it with my trembling fingers, but what comes after just snaps the final string of calmness I have left.

“Your monthly auto-payment to Mr. Lee (Landlord) had been transferred, account new balance: $130.”      Oh yeah, what a coincidence! My birthday is on the same date as the due day for the rent. My decaying patience forces me to start looking at my family friends’ social media accounts, maybe I can find some clue.

“From Johnny (Cousin’s dad): Very nice family gathering! Had so much fun with everyone.”

Below the post is a single picture.

A single picture of my cousin’s family having dinner at my home. His parents sit across the table, with him sitting right between my father and my mother. On the chair that I always sat when I was back home. My parents smile so proudly when taking the picture, hands on his shoulder like he is their proud son.

They would be proud of me too if I made it into the Top 5 Med school of the country. They would be proud of me too if I found an internship in the freshmen year of my university in a big-name hospital. They would be proud of me too if I didn’t disobey their decision on my own life. But maybe it seems like I am more than being ignored and forgotten. It seems like I am replaced.

I cover my face with both of my hands, in the poorly lit and narrow employee’s locker room. I sob like how I once broke my father’s glass vase when I was a kid. This time though? I am really just on my own.

I stumble my way back to the apartment, and just collapse on the floor. I don’t bother turning on the light at all, letting the darkness claim me. I’ve lost track of time, but it seems like Gaeul already left for work – I really don’t want to let her see my mess. I don’t deserve her to be so kind to me. I keep my quiet sobbing, arms hugging my knees. At this point, the physical exhaustion from work is nothing compared to the feeling of getting abandoned by my own parents.

Click. Click. I hear the sound of key unlocking the door, ah, did I just cry for 6 hours already?

I indeed did not. And it is indeed Gaeul opening the door.

“Hey! You’re at home! Guess what! Power outrage at the pub and my shift is cancelled! Why didn’t you turn the lights on? That honestly scared me a little bit.” Gaeul pushes the door open with a warm giggle, and she sees me. “And you left your phone here on the….” She freezes mid-sentence. Picking up my phone and starts pacing towards me. Very slowly.

I finally turn my head towards her; my phone screen is on. Another notification that arrives “just in time.”

“Claim your $5 off for your birthday gift! We don’t forget you.” The Pizza delivery app says so.

The final string had snapped. I cannot hold it back anymore. I cry out loud – no longer just sobs, but with tears dropping down to the carpet like a pearl bracelet without its string. Gaeul doesn’t say anything, she lets her jacket sliding out her shoulders, backpack dropping onto the carpet.

“Hey… at least you could’ve told me,” She leans down and sits right next to me on the carpet, “I might’ve figured out what happened, but you know, you are never alone, right?”

“It…it never mattered anyway…my own parents abandoned me, and found a replacement on the day that they gave me birth 22 years ago” I cannot stop crying.

“It always mattered. Hey, listen…” Gaeul remains her presence in the dark with me, takes a deep breath. “You are home now. You are safe…”

“You chose to fight for the life you wanted, that is courage. You don’t live your life for other people, we are all independent human beings, not puppets. Right?” She continues. “I know it sucks to be alone, especially on a day like this…… But you can’t abandon yourself, and hey! At least I know it now… So happy birthday.”

Happy birthday. These two simple words are like a flood that destroys the final dam.

Gaeul reads me like a book. She doesn’t offer me fake empathy or care, instead she just… presents, and sees me through my mess.  She’s not running away and leaving all those craps on my own, she is staying. And honestly, it is more than enough.

“Hey Gaeul… just…. Thank you.” I wipe my tears with my palms, but I still can’t stop sobbing. “I don’t really know what to say, I just hope I didn’t ruin your night off.”

“Aw… please don’t say that. I see you as a very good friend and roommate of mine, and friends support each other, don’t they?” Gaeul offers me her hand, I hesitate for a bit but take it. She pulls me up to the couch and smiles, “How could it ruin my night? It is literally a birthday party ahead waiting for us to unwrap it.”

“You don’t need to smile, but if you need something to cry on? I’m staying here for a while.” Gaeul then sits on the couch right next to me, lending her shoulder for me to lean on as I continue sobbing. I again hesitate, not sure if I am crossing the boundary of roommates. But Gaeul just doesn’t wait. She pulls me close for a side hug; my head leans on her shoulder. I can smell the floral hint of her shampoo, and it starts to linger a bit too long in my nostril.

“Have you eaten? Wanna head out for some food? Or I’m down to cook you some ramen since I’m feeling generous today. Hehehe”

“I…”

“I know. Not feeling like eating out, I get it. Let me cook then~.”

“Gaeul?” I speak, before she stands up from the couch.

“Yes? I am listening.”

“You don’t have to cook; we can order pizza… don’t let that 5 bucks go to waste” I try my best to squeeze out a faint smile, “and can you please… stay for a bit? It…”

“It feels nice when you are not alone, I know. Take your time, I’m not going anymore.”

Her shoulder feels weirdly warm.

After whoever-knows how long, my stomach starts to protest as I spent too much energy crying. I eventually depart from Gaeul’s shoulder and order pizza on my phone.

“Ok, it seems like the boy who’s always smiling is back. I’ll make you some tea, you dehydrated hard after crying for, one hour?”

“Gaeul, thank you, really.” I feel like something very deep inside me had just snapped, but I can’t tell what it is.

“Not a big deal, remember, you’re not alone in this apartment~.” Gaeul walks to the lamp and turns it on, the dim orange light embracing her warm smile.

-

I already can’t remember the taste of the pizza last night, but rather the silent, awkward tension that starts to build. It’s weekend. How can I pretend nothing happened last night and say good morning to her while I cried on her shoulder like a baby for an entire hour last night? And yeah, I for sure caused troubled for her. It was supposed to be her night off from work, but I made it messy. I know she would do the same if it happens again, but I really don’t want to annoy her and overstep the boundaries.

“It’s only getting more awkward…” I sigh, pushing my bedroom door open and head towards the kitchen for breakfast. Very unfortunately timing, Gaeul is always there, brewing her coffee.

“Morning~” She smiles, not mentioning anything that happened last night.

Does that mean I caused trouble? Why is she not talking about the left-over pizza that’s right on the kitchen table?

“Good morning Gaeul, can I get my mug on the shelf really quick?” I respond, hands out for my mug. But I accidentally run into her, as she stood before the shelf and didn’t move.

“Oops, I am so sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.” She gives me an apologetic look, while handing me my mug herself. Her finger touches mine. We both freeze.

“You’re good.” Maybe I said it too fast.

---

“Why isn't he drinking the tea? Did he not like it, or was I being 'too much' again? He did compliment it last night over the pizza, but maybe he was just being polite. I stare at the coffee pot and force a smile, but my skin is still prickling. That touch—the one he probably didn't even mean? It’s making my face burn. Did I make it obvious?”

---

“Why do I feel like Gaeul’s fingers lingered a bit longer than usual? Am I overthinking, or does she feel the static too? Damn, I must be making it up. I probably pulled away too fast. Gaeul, I didn’t mean to make it awkward—I’m just terrified of doing the wrong thing. Am I too cold?”

---

The rest of the breakfast feels extra silent compared to usual. Gaeul, for some reason, just stares at her plate of pancakes and sips her coffee. I devour the microwaved left-over pizza in a haste as I just can’t stand the silence anymore.

“Thank you for your coffee as usual, I’ll talk to you later.” I dip back to my bedroom. For the entire afternoon, I try my hardest to focus and get some assignments done. But I realize Gaeul is replacing my knowledge with herself. Maybe, just maybe. I know I have a new love.

But would she feel the same? I doubt.

I encounter Gaeul again in the late afternoon when I get drink from the fridge. She is sitting on the couch, watching TV with popcorns stuffing her cheeks.

“Hey Gaeul, you look like a squirrel now~” I try to ease my nervousness as I walk by, only to let the familiar scent of her shampoo capture me.

“Hehehe…” She giggles, mumbled a few words but just gets muted by the popcorns in her mouth. Maybe something like “Getting a drink?”

---

“I feel my heart skips a beat as she smiles at me with those cute cheeks. Wait, did I just call Gaeul cute? I crack open a can of Celsius from the fridge, chugging it in one go to just try to distract my attention. I never knew her shampoo smells this good, not until, like last night.”

---

“Oh gosh… did he just call me a squirrel? I think squirrels are cute, did he imply I look cute with my cheek with popcorns? I must be overthinking again, maybe he just came out for drink. Hey, why is he chugging his drink while staring at me? Am I actually cute? I’d better stop looking at his direction, but my face must be beet red right now. That’s so lame…”

---

I intentionally walk around the couch that Gaeul is sitting on to avoid further eye contact with her. I take a quick glance at her; both cheeks are still full of popcorns. Squirrels are cute, Gaeul. I didn’t expect you to get what I wanted to say anyways. Damn, I hope I didn’t mess things up.

I hear footsteps towards the main door, and I peek through my window a minute later. Gaeul is out, confirmed. I come up with a plan. It seems just too embarrassing interacting with Gaeul at this point, maybe I do need to clam down for a few days. I think I’m gonna finish up the draft of my presentation and go to the library to print it out. Maybe I’ll just eat some fast food outside? Then I don’t have to sit at the same table with Gaeul and have my face red like a cherry. Perfect plan. I quickly gather up my attention and speedrun my presentation before heading towards my school library with my laptop.

---

Wait, I see him coming out of house, finally. It is three laps of walking around our community! I just need some air, it is so awkward~ Gosh, I knew he’s going to library to print stuff out. Hmm… is it even open? It’s Saturday today, hehehe…

---

Damn it, I only realize it is Saturday by the time I reach the closed door of the library. The presentation is on Monday morning! And I need the scripts to be printed out, maybe I should kindly ask Gaeul to borrow her printer? She seems to be printing her sheet music every now and then. Maybe it is also a way to go? Let me text her really quick.

“Hey Gaeul, may I please borrow your printer to print out some stuff I need for Monday morning? It is for a presentation and quite urgent ☹, I am at the library rn, only to realize it is closed.”

“Oh hey~, no problem at all! I went out to get some air; the weather is really nice today. My laptop is on the couch and it is not locked. Feel free!”

I then pace back to the apartment; it is still the same compared to when I left. Gaeul’s Popcorn bucket is still sitting on the couch, her laptop placed right next to the blanket that she used while watching TV not long ago. I intentionally sit on the exact spot that she was, trying to acquire a bit of more of her lingering warmth and shampoo scent from the couch cover.

Her laptop is still warm, I put it on my thigh, plugging in my USB-drive and carefully presses the spacebar once to wake it up. It is just business, let me get this done.

I am expecting a blank browser page, maybe the main desktop with a cute background – Gaeul is always so bright. But what I see is not what I should see. It is a Word document, looking like the draft for her new song lyrics by the formatting. I know it is just business; I am not supposed to look at her personal stuff. Gaeul trusted me enough to leave her laptop unlocked (although I’ve seen the laptop sitting on the couch for weeks, I never knew it was not locked. LOL. I didn’t mean to be creepy), so I have no reason to violate her trust, especially when it is in an awkward situation like this.

I swear I’ll just look at what’s already there. Nothing more. I look at the very top of the document, it is titled “My Jamais Vu.” The black cursor is blinking right at the end of the first stanza, like it is luring me in to discover Gaeul’s mind. OK, I’ll only read what’s on the screen.

I don't see a song. I see a mess. There are words crossed out so hard the digital cursor seems to ache. "Twenty dollars" is underlined twice, right next to the word "transaction." The image of Gaeul’s silhouette starts to unwrap in my chaotic brain. To her, I wasn’t trying to be fair and friendly by paying back the drinks she bought for me, but trying to put a price tag on the kindness and care she gave me. It starts to sting.

Beneath that, a lopsided phrase about "kettle steam" and "waiting for a door to click." My heart does a slow, painful roll in my chest. She wasn't just being nice. She was counting the seconds I spent hiding from her. Every time I thought I was being "careful" or "discrete" this week, Gaeul was right there, documenting the distance.

Then, at the very bottom, a single, un-edited line that makes the room feel ten degrees colder:

"You are my most familiar stranger...My Jamais Vu, I’m relearning your name at every sunrise."

She isn't just my roommate anymore. She’s someone who has to actively pretend she doesn't know the exact sound of my breathing through a wall just to keep our lives from collapsing.

Click. The door swings open. It sounds like a summer storm outside, Gaeul is basically dashing through the door. Her hair is damped from the rain outside, but she still giggles quietly. “Hey, it’s raining really hard outside… are you printing your stuff? Oh…shoot…...” She sees the laptop sideways, and it is obviously on that Words document that she forgot to close when she left.

The final barrier between me and Gaeul is disappearing. The maze of uncertainty, the fear of being too much—the walls we both built are finally starting to crumble.

“I… I was trying to print, I promise I didn’t mean to...” I should be happy, but instead, I’m just overloaded.

“It’s fine. How much did you read?” Gaeul squeezes a faint smile, shivers slightly from the weather, a few drops of rain on her pink hair falls to the carpet.

I stutter, but for the first time in weeks, I recognize a closing window. This is my only chance. I stand up, leaving the laptop—and her secrets—on the couch. “I read enough to know I was an idiot for that twenty-dollar bill. Enough to realize I left you alone every time you were waiting for me at breakfast. I just... I didn’t dare.”

“Didn’t dare to have breakfast with me?” Gaeul’s voice is small. “Did I make you feel overwhelmed?”

“No, absolutely not! Please don’t think that, Gaeul. Every time we ate together, it was the highlight of my day. Your music, your stories about the pub shifts... it was perfect. I was just afraid that I was the one getting too close. I didn't want to ruin the only good thing I had.”

Gaeul sits down to the couch right next to me, the fresh scent of grass and rain mixes with her floral shampoo. We both are visibly flushed, the air between us is heavy, with all the secrets we were hiding from each other.

“So… can I assume that you wanted to get close?” Gaeul covers her mouth, her tone remarkably calm compared to the hammering in my chest.

“I didn’t know, to be honest,” I admit, my hands starting to tremble. “Not until I read those lines. I was too afraid to mess things up. I never thought I deserved someone so caring, so warm...” I stop, reaching for a dry towel from the kitchen island and offering it to her like a peace offering. “And someone so beautiful.”

“Oh my gosh… stop. You’re going to give me a heart attack,” Gaeul whispers, her face as red as the kimchi soup she makes for me. She takes the towel with shaking hands. “Do you know how much I worried about being ‘too much’? I never wanted my care to become your burden. Every time I saw you chugging that Celsius just to avoid looking at me... I thought I’d failed.” She reaches into her jacket hanging by the door and pulls out the crumpled twenty-dollar bill. “I knew I’d screwed up when I found this. It was never supposed to be a transaction.”

“No… it was on me Gaeul. My life is already a mess… I cannot afford to lose one more precious roommate like you, but do you know what?”

“Y-yes?” Gaeul buries her face in the towel, refusing to meet my eyes. Her blush has spread all the way to the tips of her ears.

“I want to be more than a roommate to you, Gaeul.”

Silence.

The silence that follows is heavy, broken only by the rain against the glass. Then, a few quiet sobs. The sound of Gaeul crying starts to drown out the summer storm outside. She pulls her face from the towel, her eyes bright and shimmering.

She looks at me, face off the towel. “ME TOO! Do you know how long did I wait for you to say this to me? *sobs* I was writing this song because I was so afraid that I would make things weird if I confess first. *sobs* Then I wrote this song, about how badly I wanted you, but equally frightened to lose it all. *sobs* I… I don’t want you to see me as a kind noona who makes tea, I… want to be the one that brings you happiness to your world…”

“You had always been, Gaeul.” I feel the need to capture this moment, so I pull her close to me for a firm hug. Her chests against mine, still moves up and down from the sobbing. I brush and caress her hair that is damped from the rain, the other hand gently padding her back. “I… I am really an odd one, aren’t I? I should’ve confessed earlier.”

A light giggle escapes her throat, as she pulls back from my hug and the familiar smile is back to her face – this time with a slight hint of mischief. She cups my face with her small hands, fingers trembling. “Ahem… I think we should kinda make this afternoon memorable, shall we?”

I don’t wait for another word, but I rather crash my lips into hers. The kiss is not cinematic and messy, but rather a firm statement. A moment for two hopeless romantics to let go off their guards and truly see each other through their disguise – their disguise forced by mess in life. Our kiss lingers like the static electricity before a lightning strike—sharp, sudden, and grounding. When we finally pull apart, the apartment feels different.

Gaeul is still flushed, her small hands resting on my chest, feeling the frantic rhythm of my heart that hasn't quite slowed down yet. She looks down at the laptop, then back at me, a shy smile tugging at her lips. "So," she whispers, her voice still a little thick from crying. "Does this mean I have to rewrite the bridge? The part about the 'familiar stranger' doesn't really fit anymore."

I can't help it; a genuine laugh breaks through the lingering tension in my throat. I reach out, tucking a damp strand of pink hair behind her ear. "I think you should keep it. As a reminder of how much of a coward I was. Besides... I like the melody."

“Hey, don’t be fake! You haven’t even heard the melody.” She protests.

“But I know it is going to be good,” I reach for her face again, “because you wrote it.”

“Gosh… never knew you are a romantic like this…” Gaeul fakes a sigh, before pressing her lips back on mine once more. We carefully savor each other, as the masquerade comes to an end. I don’t know how long had passed, but the heavy rain outside is quieting down.

“Gaeul, can you hum me the melody for the song then? I’m curious.” We finally break apart from each other, Gaeul reaches for the towel to dry her hair.

“Imagine a song that’s like… I will wear a veil while singing it. A bit of mystery, a bit of whispering, a bit of melancholy vibes. And yeah, think about when I sing the chorus, I added wind sound and a lot of harmonics. Trust, it is gonna be a hit~” Gaeul’s grin is wide and proud, as a musician should be to her work.

“We’ll see, alright Gaeul… I guess we should get some food, shouldn’t we? I’ll cook.”

“Better be good,” she teases, leaning against the armrest. "I have very high standards for my 'more-than-a-roommate'."

“Already? I thought we are just getting started.” I joke, leaning back in to kiss her temple.

Gaeul stands up to join me, grabbing my wrist from behind. The laptop sits forgotten on the couch, the screen finally timed out into blackness. The document is saved. The song is finished. And as I reach for the rice cooker, I realize that for the first time in months, I’m not worried about the Monday morning presentation or the mess of my life, the mess of my family.

I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.

“But Gaeul, my life is like a mess right now. I’ll really try my best, but don’t blame me if I mess stuff up, ok?”

“Hey, who says my life isn’t? Isn’t that why we need boyfriends and girlfriends? Motivate each other, make each other’s live better, blah blah blah…”

“Yea, let’s make something out of nothing…”

Gaeul nods, “Let’s make something super beautiful.”

“You should add that line to your song; it is a nice one.”

“I definitely should,”

-

“So, now what? Still wanna go back to your dorm? But think about it, if you lend me your helping hand and we can move in quickly….” Yujin winks at you, while you are at the crossroad: turn right? Then it is your dorm building on campus, the place that you desperately begged Yujin to bring you back just a few minutes ago. Turn left? Then it is the bridge that takes you out of the core campus and towards the residential communities nearby where Yujin’s place is located.

“You know, baby boy. I’m always a grateful person, so if we can get it done this afternoon? Then you’ll get your reward at night, and I promise it is going to be a good one.” Yujin smirks, hands pulling your hoodie towards your left. Well, it is just less than a day but you probably already persuaded yourself to accept the fact that this girl in front of you can just get you every time without even trying.

“Fine Yujin, let’s do this quick.” You sigh, looking down at your pants where the tent already put its head down. “Good boy.” She leans in and gives you a kiss on your cheek.

-

Walking in a winter afternoon across your college campus isn’t necessarily a familiar activity for you, at least not like this. Normally your heatmap on campus is a triangle: dorm, dining hall and lecture halls. You never really allowed yourself to stay in the public for too much, especially this area which is designed as a park in the middle of the campus. You know for a fact that this place is for the couples out there to date. Maybe holding hands? Cuddles? Maybe exchange each other’s precious first kiss? Anything, but not your cup of tea.

You recall the first and only time you visited this park was the first week of your college for some God-knows-what Club Drive thing. Math Club? Probably too boring. Anime Club? You prefer real person stuff instead. Well, there is a K-pop dance club (that you now suspect Yujin is in it), but you don’t even dare to imagine what would it be like for your nerdy and skinny body to twirl and sway like the idols. Fine. No Clubs, and no more visit to this park which can bring you nothing but pure PTSDs as each corner there is a couple doing some “fun stuff” that hurts just by witnessing. Another cruel reminder of you being single.

“Which way are we heading towards? I’m kinda lost; this place is not too familiar to me.” You whisper.

“Hey,” Yujin pulls the string of your hoodie, gets you closer to her. “Have you never been to this park? What a waste of those good views!”

“Good view of watching people kiss while I’m on own?” You roll your eyes.

“You want me to kiss you right here then?” Yujin smirks, pretends to cup your face with her hands.

“Not right here, let’s just get your stuff done.” You sigh, holding Yujin’s hand with yours. This action feels natural already although it is just one day. Maybe having sex is really an effective way to bring people to closer, well both physically and mentally of course.

“Fine, our baby boy is still shy, mommy gets it. But tonight, I am not going this easy on you.” Yujin smiles devilishly, breathing into your neck. The hickey she left there is still present, exposed to the winter wind and the people passing by. You are getting use to it though, seeing it as a mark of warmth and belonging.

A breeze makes both of your bodies jolt; you spontaneously cuddle Yujin closer to you and puts her hand into your pocket. Damn, you didn’t know you have this K-Drama type of talent. Yujin gives you a slight hum, leaning in even closer to you. “Good boy.” She murmurs.

-

“You see that parking lot over there? We walk across it and it is my place.” Yujin points at the apartment homes right across the bridge.

“Sure. Yujin, so what is actually going on? I mean your lease thingy.”

“Lease is 11 months for this off-campus apartment. Move in February, kicked out end of the end. One month for them to do the maintenance job and find new victims to fill their greedy ass.”

“Have you found your new place yet?” You ask naturally, just to follow the conversation.

“I don’t know, maybe I’ll like you too much that I just decide to stay in your dorm?” Yujin raises her eyebrow, feeling like she is testing your loyalty to her.

“You… like me?” You feel your heartbeat is getting faster, do YOU like Yujin? You haven’t really thought about this question before. Did you just give in because she is the first girl to offer you something? Were you just too desperate that you caught the one and only chance you had to “un-virgin” yourself? Well, you don’t dare to think about it too much.

“Puppy isn’t staying in his place. Don’t ask questions.” Yujin murmurs, while facing down to search the keys in her purse. An invisible flush of pink appears on her face, but just for a second.

A crisp sound of the key unlocking the door drags you back from the brain fog. Yujin pushes the door open, gesturing you in. What appears in your eyes must be Yujin’s apartment then. A clean living room with the scent of her perfume still lingering in the air, some random flowers that you don’t know the names of are carefully trimmed and put into a glass vase with water. She kicks her boots off and just let it fall beneath the shoe rack. You do the same, following her to the couch.

“Stay still, I’ll quickly check what I need to pack up today. Won’t be long.” Yujin pulls out her phone and just lies down on the couch. You sit nervously, eyes scanning the surrounding. What makes you feel odd is how neat and tidy everything is to an extent that Yujin almost seems odd to be this room.

You take a seat on the couch, gaze locks in to Yujin who is now on her phone, checking what needs to be packed. The air in the room gets too quiet that you can suddenly hear your hearts hammering your chest again. Certainly, you are here to help Yujin move out, but how can you not just stare at her when there is a perfect body like hers sitting right in front of you?

Yujin just stretches her long legs and lies down sideways on the couch, her chest moves up and down with the rhythm of her pulse, cute little feet wiggles inside the socks. Her tank top is maybe a bit too short that you can almost have a full view of her skin beneath. You take a visible gulp as some untimely and intrusive thoughts reappears in your brain before you can realize.

Yujin notices it, of course. She raises her eyebrow; face just slightly turns towards you. “Already? Our puppy doesn’t seem to be very patient today.” She bites her bottom lip with a devilish smirk while “adjusting” her clothes, but the outcome is of course less fabric covering her upper body.

“Sorry Yujin, I’ll try.” You wipe off the cold sweat on your face with the back of your hand, “But you know I cannot hold too long if you just… expose yourself too much in front of me.”

“Hmm? What do you mean? It is not like you’ve never seen it before.” Her smirk widens, “You know, if you ask nicely, I can probably do something to get you more…. Focused and productive for the task.” Yujin giggles.

“Right here?” You can feel the heat on your face and your pulse accelerating.

“If you don’t mind getting caught?”

“I…. I don’t see anyone here? Do you mean the neighbors? I promise I’ll keep it low…” You suddenly feel an urge to get things done and your sweatpants gets tighter for reasons only the primal side of yourself knows.

“How do you know I don’t have a roommate?” Yujin asks.

“Do you?” You get the gut to stand up and take a step closer, now you’re right in front of Yujin and she can easily reach your body, if she decides to.

“Do I?” She smirks. “It seems like our puppy is so eager to have an audience, hmm?” Yujin then holds your hand, hovering right above her chest.

“Your STEM brain seems to be un-developing itself since you met me. Didn’t you see the extra pairs of shoes by the door? And obviously there are two bedrooms here.” Yujin points her finger right behind you. Yes, there’re indeed two-bedroom doors with one being wide open and the other one slightly ajar.

You immediately pull your hands back which almost started to rub Yujin’s juicy tits. “What the fuck? Then we…. We can’t do it here.” You murmur, taking a step back from Yujin in case you get caught standing there like a nerd with your hands squeezing her breasts back and forth like a dough.

“Uh oh… baby boy… you let me down.” Yujin plays a sad face, sitting up on the couch. “But it is your lucky day, Rei-Chan is not coming back until…. Until after dinner! You know, she is almost like you. Library, studying, club meetings… all the stuff.”

“Why? Isn’t she in her room? I swear I saw there was someone behind that bedroom door?” You whisper, while tilting your head towards Rei’s bedroom.

“Nope, you were just too nervous. I was messing with you; you have me and me alone until she comes back.” Yujin then pads the couch, which you immediately receive this signal and kneels right before her.

“Then please… Yujin.” The confirmation of Rei’s absence is the final hammer that breaks down your defense. Now you don’t need to worry about the risk of having an “audience”, so you don’t need to hide your needy side in front of Yujin anymore. “I promise I will work very hard, just let me get some taste, please? I’ve been itching since the Final…” Your voice is getting weaker as your hands uncontrollably reach out for Yujin.

““Hmm? This hungry already? Then mommy is going to give you some treats~” Yujin says, then she pulls her white tank top up and takes it off in a smooth motion. No bra inside. The perky, pink tits bounce as the fabric brushes through them. You then swiftly bury your face in her chest, hands already roaming on Yujin’s soft skin around her waist.

“Ummm… so tasty, you aren’t even wearing your bra…” Your tongue dancing on her nipple, giving a gentle, long lick.

“It was pretty much just soaked from last night; I just threw it in your laundry basket. You wouldn’t mind, would you?” Her words remind you of the actions that took place last night in your dorm, the faint smell of strawberry Soju, her floral perfume, the scent of the laundry sheets all start to linger in your brain. The urge of savor her perfect body keeps pushing you.

The movement of your mouth starts to get gradually more frantic, your desperate suck her tits like they are your gasoline that fuel up your day. You hate to admit but you got hard during your final exam just by replaying the scenes that took place in your dorm last night. Just pure absurdity, but the type of absurdity you are longing for.

“Mhmm, Yujin, you are fucking delicious. You got such a perfect body…” You mumble, as your mouth is half filled with her juicy tits. Your saliva creates such an obscene string between your mouth and her body, you cannot hold back as you need more than this. Yujin grabs your hair with one hand and pulls you closer on your neck with another, you’re still kneeling in front of her while she now sits up from the couch.

Your teeth slightly bite Yujin’s perky nipple; a few soft moans escape from her throat. “Hmmm... Good.” Unlike the dim dorm room light last night, the warm lamp at the corner of Yujin’s living room really gives you the chance to appreciate her flawless body. Her tits aren’t necessarily the biggest in size, but the shape is pretty like a teardrop. The pink nipple at the tip is like a cherry-on-top, just adds pure charm when it is swollen, your saliva shines under the light.

What you didn’t realize is her devilish smirk towards the bedroom door, where your back is facing.

“Ok, Ok… that is about it.” Yujin murmurs while biting down her lips, you know she is enjoying it too from her pinkish face, but it seems like she isn’t encouraging you for more.

“No…. I need more.” You just cannot stop yourself; hands uncontrollably reach out for Yujin’s belt. You quickly undo her belt and try to pull her jeans down, only for her to gently slap your hands off. Your throbbing length in your sweatpants is painful already.

“Puppy… remember you are here to help mommy pack up. If I let you get your release right now, your skinny body couldn’t even handle one single box, no?” Yujin says, “You have to earn it, baby boy.” She then blows soft air into your ear, making your body react instantly.

“One hour. I am not asking you for more. Pack everything up in those paper boxes—” Yujin nods towards the flat paper boxes that have yet to be folded on the ground, “And mommy is going to give you something… delicious.” She then gives a slow lick around her lips, just drowns you deeper into her charm.

“One hour?” The tight tent from the bottom half of your body protests, hands still try to hover on Yujin’s waist.

“One hour. Be a good boy, ok?” Yujin then points her index finger right at your tent, gives your shaft a slight tickle as you groan with half happiness and half grudge. You sigh, but it cannot escape Yujin’s ears. “Hmm? Are you not happy about it?”

“No… Yujin, I am s…sorry. One hour will do.” You murmur.

“Sorry who?” She teases with the cute pair of dimples.

“Sorry mommy…” You give in, hands picking up those paper boxes and starting to fold them into the right shape.

“Good boy.” Yujin smirks again, side-eyeing that bedroom door with pride.

-

For the first fifteen minutes, you are just assigned to fold and tape those flat paper boxes into shape. A thorough list of items that need to be packed already sent to your phone, which Yujin already “kindly” helped you rename her as “Mommy Yujin” in the contacts.

“Fine…” You mumble, but your throbbing shaft says otherwise. You know the upcoming hour is going to feel long, longer than the time you spent taking that final exam. You take a peek at Yujin, who now sits in the middle of the couch with her long legs stretching out of the armrest. Maybe Yujin is really someone who is so warm-hearted, that she decides you need some view during while working so you don’t feel bored. Maybe that’s the reason why she is still half naked, swollen tits bounces to the rhythm of her legs swing back and forth like a pendulum.

You sigh, trying to persuade yourself that it is no different than being in a boring math lecture. However, it is more about the realization that all those theorems and definitions in your nerdy brain are being gradually replace by Yujin. Her scent, her tone, her body… especially when she is half naked right before you, yet you cannot do anything but to focus on the work because she told you do.

You keep folding those paper boxes into shape, trying to acquire some false sense of control by doing those repetitive tasks and prays the time goes faster. Your fading patience and looming arousal are still battling through each other. But you are aware that there are just a handful of boxes in total, now that those simple, “dead” tasks are done and you are going to start interacting with Yujin and her stuff – which you are certain – that she won’t give me an easy time.

The first item on the list is Yujin’s laundry that she just finished; so you follow her into her room, where a rather huge laundry bag is placed. By the time you enter her bedroom, you realize something is going south. The scent. The damn scent from her perfume.

Those faint smell of floral hints just lingers everywhere in her bedroom, when Yujin hands you a stack of clothes – whether she purposefully put the lingerie on top – your pants get even tighter and your length hopelessly twitch inside your boxers. Yujin knows, of course she does.

“Mhmm? You just took a big sniff when I handed them over to you like you’ve ran a mile. Poor little thing.” She smirks, “Can you at least finish putting those clothes in the boxes before begging mommy to hump my legs?”

Shit. One more spontaneous twitch down there.

“Please… just let me do the work…” You reply, voice already unsteady. You stare at the stack of clothes, the plain black bra that Yujin was wearing while taking away your virginity last night, now washed clean instead of soaked with Yujin’s essence and your saliva. The scene form last night is still vivid, but you are trying your best to not think about it.

You fold and put the clothes into stacks before putting them into the box. One item is done, just a few more to go, you persuade yourself.

Next up are the kitchen supplies which Yujin stored them in the overhead shelves. “Be carefully puppy, you don’t want to see Rei getting mad because you break her ramen pot.” Yujin reminds you. You are curious what is this Rei person really like before quickly telling yourself to get back to work. “Which ones are yours, Yujin?” You turn towards her to confirm, only resulting in pink flushing your cheek as Yujin still hasn’t put her top on.

“Hmm… hold on, let me check?” Yujin walks towards you, arms stretch out to the upper part of the shelf, her butt brushes against your pants deliberately. You jolt.

You hate how easy you are for Yujin. You hate how much you just allow her to keep doing this to you, or rather, you hate how you WANT her to tease you like this and make you earn your release.

“You see there? Everything on the left of that pan is mine and the rest belongs to Rei-chan.” Yujin turns back, finger knocks your harden shaft just for once, before heading back to the couch. “I bet you are already hard as fuck right now, aren’t you?”

“Yes…?” You mumble.

“Good. If you get caught touching yourself, no coming for a week. Hehe…. You’d better behave.” A grin appears on Yujin’s face as she enjoys your slightly trembling fingers and pinkish face.

Now you are on your own in the kitchen. You don’t know if Yujin is monitoring you from the living room. Honestly? You think to yourself that you are just a willing prey that felt into Yujin’s little trap for her to play. On the other hand, she probably also finds you suitable to do some hard labor to make her easier…. So? She has no reason to take it THAT serious, right? No touching otherwise no release for one entire week? Ridiculous, no? You palm reaches dangerously close to the tent down there.

“I am watching~” Yujin’s voice reaches your ears from behind, totally extinguishes your urge to just put your hands on your shaft to “adjust the position”. Fine… Just 45 more minutes to go, shorter than a boring lecture anyway. You soon realize this isn’t an easy and repetitive task just listening to professor yapping, the itching shaft makes it hard for you to reach the shelf top – each time you reach out your item to get a pot, your throbbing length would just protest by trying to pierce through the half-wet boxer.

After trying your best to not drop a stack of porcelain plates, your breath starts to get heavier and you can feel sweat on your back despite it being a winter afternoon. Yujin makes sure she is doing the inspection appropriately so she now stands up from the couch and starts to roam around you.

“You’d better keep your pace, baby boy.” Yujin giggles behind you, “good puppy gets his treats, and? Bad puppy gets his punishment. Hehe. Here you are.” She then hands you a bottle of water, how kind of her! But yeah, Yujin’s finger lingers on your wrist for a bit too long before she pushes you away back to the kitchen, leaving you itching even more.

“What if I just hump this box corner for a second? Damn… I am so fucking needy already…” You think to yourself, already replaying the scenes from last night in your brain, the last pot thuds into its box. Sweat soaks your shirt, the wet spot on your sweats impossible to ignore now. It is the time to clear the wardrobe. Yujin’s perfume trails ahead as she walks to the bedroom without looking back. “Time’s ticking, baby boy. Twenty-five minutes left. Open the lingerie drawer first—slow. Mommy wants to see how red your face gets.”

“M…more?” You swallow. You know that the laundry bag you just took care of was already bad enough, but the wardrobe? A drawer full of her lingerie? Damn. As Yujin slide open the wardrobe, you see her clothes just rest on those hangers. Crop tank tops, leather jackets, ripped jeans and a few prom dresses – which you can never imagine a girl like her would wear. And yes, a drawer full of her lingerie, laces, panties, you name it.

You drop to your knees, knees hitting carpet, face level with the drawer. You yank it open fast—too fast—hoping to just dump the contents into a bag and move on. Anything to avoid looking too long, to avoid remembering. A jumbled stack of underwear spills into view: lace panties, bras, all mixed together. You scoop the whole pile in both hands, ready to shove it straight into the waiting bag.

“Nope.” Yujin’s voice cuts through like a whip. She steps closer, one socked foot nudging your thigh so you freeze. “You don’t just dump mommy’s things like trash, baby boy. Fold them. Nicely. One by one.” She reaches down, plucks a single black lace pantie from the pile in your hands, holds it between two fingers. “Start with this one.” She flicks her wrist. The pantie arcs through the air and lands square on your face—soft lace draping over your nose and mouth. The faint floral scent hits you like a slap. Your cheeks burn instantly. Your bulge throbs so hard it almost hurts, straining against the wet spot already darkening your sweats.

You freeze, breath hitching behind the fabric. Yujin laughs—low, delighted. “Aw, look at that. Puppy’s already leaking just from a little lace on his face.” She leans down, close enough that her hair brushes your cheek. One hand reaches out, slow, and plucks the pantie off your face—but not before dragging it deliberately across your lips. “Too distracted to catch it?” she murmurs, voice dripping mock sympathy. “Or were you too busy fantasizing about me wearing it while I ride you again?” Her free hand trails down your chest, nails grazing lightly over your shirt, stopping just above your waistband. “Fold it. Slowly. Or I’ll make you hold every piece against your face until you’re begging for mercy.”

She drops the pantie into your lap, the lace brushing your tent on the way down. Your hips twitch involuntarily—once, tiny, desperate. She notices, of course. “Uh-uh.” Her palm presses flat against your bulge through the sweats—just one firm, slow circle. Then she pulls away, leaving you throbbing in empty air. “Fold. Twenty-three minutes left. Don’t make mommy add time because her puppy can’t keep his mind out of the gutter.” She perches back on the bed edge, legs crossed, foot dangling close enough to tap your knee if she wants.

You oblige, trying to empty out the filthy images of Yujin riding you in those panties. Your fingers trembles helplessly while you carefully sort and fold the lingerie before finally putting them into the bag. “Dresses and jackets next, puppy.” Yujin orders, you then take a step forward to reach the hangers up top. Yujin stands behind you, helping you by passing a new hanger to you after you’ve taken the clothes off the previous one. Her dangling tits brush your forearm for too long each time – of course intentionally.

You basically shut down your brain before any more of intrusive thoughts emerges. Kneeling immediately in front of Yujin to beg for your release? Maybe she’ll despite you and kick your ass. Pinning her to the wall and suck on her nipple immediately? You thought about it, but if you two really were to fight, you are unsure if you can win – and it will be horrendous if you cannot.

It is kind of hard to figure out why exactly you are so obedient to Yujin, to this girl who makes you call her “mommy” and makes your life joyful and miserable at the same time. Maybe you feel safe getting owned by her so you can forget about the rejections, maybe you intentionally try to please her so that she can reward you and fulfill your little nerdy yet filthy desires.

With those brain-fogs in mind, you kill another twenty minutes by clearing out her wardrobe. Jackets nicely folded, dresses stay in the hangers and covered with another layer of plastic bag, other stuff sorted and packed.

“Zaaaaaa-----p”, the loud duct tape sound sealing another box announces three fourth of an hour had passed. You scan around her bedroom, basically there aren’t much more stuff to pack up besides some miscellaneous decorations and a few small furniture. Then here comes the good and bad news.

The good news is, you can see that the end of this tormenting one-hour timer is going towards the end and all you gotta do is push through this final fifteen minutes. Then you get to fuck Yujin, or maybe she fucks you, either way you’re good.

The bad news is, your legs attached to your skinny body are already starting to shake violently as you kneeled and squatted on her bedroom floor in the past half an hour, taking care of her wardrobe. The clear damp mark on your sweatpants and the itch inside are begging you to give up.

Yujin also sees it, of course. “Come here baby boy.” She taps the space next to her on her bed, “I see my good boy is working hard, and you followed my order nicely – no touching your dick until I say so.”

“So…. I am considering some half time treat for you. Do you want it?” She smirks with mischief, biting her lips lightly.

“Shit! Please!!! I’ve been waiting for this moment too long…” You murmur, hands reaching your waistband.

Yujin quickly grabs your wrist and pins it on your back. “No touching still, close your eyes puppy.”

You obey, chest moving up and down unevenly, anticipating for contact. But obviously Yujin knows better, and it is never disappointing when it comes to the matter of disappointing you.

Yujin first grabs your balls through the fabric firmly, before gently grabbing and massaging them. You let out a few loud moans, only for Yujin to cover your mouth with her free hand.

“Shhhh….. time is not up yet.” She blows air directly into your ear, making your body jolt. Yujin then releases your already full balls and your mouth. Then she slides both of her hands inside your pants, scratching your inner thigh through your boxer in an agonizing motion. “Tell you what you’re think right now, baby boy. I bet you’re leaking like a faucet already, hmm?”

“Oh fuck… I want to come so bad… I need it right now Yujin, pleaseeeeee…” You beg, hips involuntarily thrust into the air. Yujin reaches the base of your shaft, and slides her finger all the way to the tip, you feel like more pre-cum had leaked into the boxer. But Yujin’s movement stops right there.

“Hehehe, I told you it is a half time treat, so wait until you finish your work.” Yujin whispers while abruptly slaps your balls before turning around and heading towards the living room, leaving you sobbing and leaking in your boxers.

“F…fuck! Fuck me….”You sigh.

“Exactly! Fuck you! But that happens 15 minutes later. Oopsie!” Yujin smiles.

“Be patient, baby boy. If you have the endurance, it is going to be the best climax of your life.” Yujin’s voice goes through the thin wall between her room and the living room, “I heard people say edging would make the release feels way stronger than it normally would. Trust mommy, it is all worth it.” The sentence is shut with Yujin’s evil giggles.

-

“Just fifteen minutes left, you can do it.” Yujin reappears in the bedroom, now pants are off as well. A slightly damped white pantie is the only piece of clothes on her body right now; she dances and swirls right in front of you like she is demonstrating her perfect body. Bouncy butt, juicy thighs and that damn full pair of lips with dangerous cherry-red lipsticks.

You swallow hard, trying to look away and start to put the small furniture in the final paper box one by one. By the time you unplug the lamp on her bedroom table and put it in the box with a pair of shaky hand, Yujin already drained the glass vase in the living room. She signals you to take it and wrap it with old newspaper so it doesn’t break while carrying it.

You grab the vase from the table, hands already shaking to the point that you almost drop it.

“Be careful baby boy, you don’t want mommy to be ma at you for breaking my vase. That means you don’t touch me for weeks.” Yujin smirks, as she now sits back down on the armrest of the couch, legs dangling in the air.

As you walk past her, she swiftly brushes across your shaft with her wiggling bare foot, just makes sure you are miserable enough. “Look at that cute little thing down there, already twitching like it is coming.” She giggles.

“Mommy…. Please…. I need it so bad. What time is it?” You are already a mess, but still don’t dare to disobey her. At this moment, the final piece of your rational mind realizes, Yujin wants more than you submitting your right to orgasm for her. She wants the entirety of you, your dick, your mind, yourself.

“7 more minutes, puppy. Come on, you can do it!” Yujin takes a look at her phone, before quickly winks at the ajar bedroom door with another evil grin on her face. You breathe heavily, the sweat from your palms leaves visible marks on the newspaper. You carefully wrap the glass vase with 2 layers of protection before finally putting it into the paper box. You peek at your pants, already damped like you just came out of a spa.

“3 more minutes to go, put that weight scale under the couch in there and you are done!” Yujin does a cheerleader pose with non-existent pompoms, only to let her swollen tits to bounce up and down. More seduction? Never enough seduction.

You lower yourself to the floor before reaching under the couch for the scale. “Ouch!” The friction between your already over-stimulated tip and the boxer makes you gasp for air out loud.

“Oohhhh…. Look at you. Mommy is not really into sadism stuff, but do you know how cute you are when you’re suffering? Hehe… I’m already so wet just watching my baby boy moaning.” Yujin giggles.

Not into sadism my ass! You protest in silence. You wouldn’t really have fantasies like this when you’re on your own during those lonely dorm room night before. The most you did was to imagine what is it like to have a girl that is as pretty as an idol, willing to hold your hand… kiss your lips… letting you inside her. Basic stuff like those.

But this? A bit beyond your wildest imagination. Maybe it is not too late to realize you weren’t just a gamer nerd. It was more than that. Maybe the nerdy part is just a mask you put on to disguise your filthy little heart beneath. Letting people see you try so hard for a girlfriend but fails?? That’s too lame. Become a nerd who doesn’t talk to any girls? Then they have no excuse to blame your skills. Brilliant.

Then you won a lottery and Yujin takes you. Now you have a girl…..

Wait a damn second.

You thought to yourself, “Who exactly is Yujin?” Definitely not your mommy, you just call her that because it turns both of you on. Girlfriend? What kind of girlfriend would edge their boyfriend for an hour while forcing them to do hard labor? Mistress and her pet slave? Maybe Yujin shows too much love and care for a slave…

Damn. Your brain is already a mess after this long edge; you can’t process logic properly anymore to figure out. Well but it doesn’t quite matter anyway. You know you want to be with her, you know your body enjoy having sex with her, you know your mind feels safe and trust when you submit yourself to her. The title is just a title.

With that final bit of rational thoughts squeezed out of your brain, you duct tape the final box before immediately trying to undo your pants. “Hmmm… our puppy is so inpatient. Mommy needs to make sure you are properly punished. Come here.” Yujin approaches you, grabbing the string of your hoodie in a blink of an eye, pulling you towards her. You collapse.

-

Her lips crashes onto yours, as inpatient as you are. Yujin grabs your neck firmly, while giving gentle strokes on your hair. She makes the kiss wet and loud, letting out soft moans every time her tongue meets yours. Her hand on your neck starts to roam freely along your spine, leaving shivers as she trails down.

You have your eyes completely shut; hands uncontrollably grab Yujin’s bouncy ass and rubs them nicely. You spread her cheeks under her wet panties and touch her butt with desires. Your tongue fights back against hers, desperately chasing the taste of her.

Her saliva mixes with yours, dripping down both of your chins in a thin string. Yujin caresses the fresh hickey in your neck like she is claiming her authority over you again, you lean in to her, cupping her face and brushing her hair in return.

The hunger that you tried to suppress over the last hour starts to backfire, your lips start to roam freely in Yujin’s upper body. You first depart her lips and kiss her neck, then her collarbone, then her shoulder.

Yujin lets out soft moans every time your lips touch her, like an appreciation of your effort in trying to make her feel good. And she does. Her hands reach her pantie; two fingers start to rub on her clit as you keep kissing her.

You lower your head and position yourself parallel to Yujin’s chest, and you start working on her beautiful pair of tits. You take in her nipple gently and worship each one of them nicely, leaving a long, slick kiss before moving on.

“Mmph… puppy, mommy can feel it.”

“B….bedroom? You squeeze out one single broken word.

“No. Right fucking here, give it to mommy.” Yujin gasps, before yanking both of your pants and your boxers in one go.

Your throbbing length, veins visible, finally gets release from the boxer. It almost kept erected for an entire hour, the tip is already full of slick precum, ready for the incoming battle. Yujin gives it a slower stroke and that’s all the foreplay. You both have had enough waiting.

“Fuck… look at you puppy, already leaking and so ready for mommy.” Yujin then gently presses you down onto the couch, you are now flat on your back.

“Look at how wet you made mommy by doing nothing…. Mmph.” Her fingers go beneath her pantie, when she pulls them out, the delicate fingers of hers are already coated with her juice. Yujin puts the fingers into her mouth, lips half parted and eyes half closed. She savors her own essence in such an obscene fashion, makes your lust grow even higher.

“Yujin… please let me in already, fuck…” Yujin then straddles your leg and positions herself on your desperate and needy length. She quickly takes off her panties and shoves it in your mouth like how she did it last night.

You take a big sniff, it is her familiar, long-waiting scent. Alluring. Deadly.

“Shhh… be quiet puppy. I’ll let you scream later, and I know you will. But keep it quiet for now for mommy, I need to feel you first.” Yujin smirks, while sinking herself down onto you in one go.

“Mmph….!” The impact is immediate. You want to moan out loud but mited by Yujin’s pantie. Only a few mumbled syllables pass through the gag. Your itching length meets Yujin’s warm, wet, clenching walls. At the moment you enter her, you know for a fact that you won’t last long. And obviously Yujin doesn’t care.

She starts to pick up her pace, hands pressing your chest firmly while occasionally pinch your nipples. Yujin then starts to ride you. “Shit… puppy is so hard for mommy… Mmph.” The wet, slick sound turns you on even more, you grab Yujin’s juicy butt from behind and just rub them into different shapes, leaving light red marks here and there.

“Mommy is proud of you; puppy did so well not touching himself for an hour. So let it all out now… give me that cum you’ve been begging me to release…” Yujin squeeze you tighter, her warm pussy is forcing you to surrender, especially after getting edged for an hour.

You feel a bit lightheaded, thigh shaking hard and brain is nothing but the urge to release inside her, to mark her with your essence, to fill her to the rim. You’re just waiting for a signal. Yujin’s signal.

“I bet you want to come already, give it to me then… give mommy that first load,” Yujin whispers, “Then I’ll make sure I ruin that little thing later… hehehe.” The flood had destroyed the final bit of resistance. You feel the heat rushing down your spine, the muscles around your pelvis start to clench uncontrollably. You are there.

“Ugh…” You let out a muted growl through Yujin’s pantie in your mouth before bursting inside her. Your dick twitches violently, hitting her soft walls back and forth, each time with a spurt of thick, hot juice of yours shooting out of your urethra, coating Yujin’s pussy white.

Meanwhile, your legs shake violently, breath hitches, ears ringing like someone just threw a flash bang right into your head. The release lasted so long that you don’t even realize it had come to an end.

“Maybe Yujin is right… this feels fucking different.” You think to yourself. “But wait a minute, why is she not stopping. Hello?” Yujin keeps riding your orgasm out, the mix of her juice and your cum starts to drop out of her cunt slowly, lubricates the point of contact even more. The post sex clarity hits you, you pull Yujin’s pantie out of your mouth, caching your breath.

But she is still riding you in an agonizingly slow motion, like she forgot you just busted into her. “Hmm, looks like my puppy has something to say, tell mommy what do you want?” Yujin smiles devilishly, fingers interlocking yours while still being on top you.

“P…. please… it feels so sensitive right now.” You mumble.

“Please what? Ah… you want me to ride faster, no problem puppy…. Hehe.” Her smirk widens, while keeps tormenting your overstimulated and hypersensitive length.

“You were so impatient, almost tried to touch yourself when mommy told you not to…… I gotta properly remind you… Mmph…” Yujin keeps her movement slow and steady, never accelerates. She makes sure her wet and well lubricated walls trap your half soft shaft. Yujin hip swirls left and right, not letting you into the deepest of her, also not allowing you to escape from her warm cage.

“S…shit… please… I’m gonna lose it…” you cry, almost scream out loud.

“Yes… puppy, scream if you need to. Show Rei-chan how needy and obedient of a puppy you are.” Yujin’s grin widens, with a hint of triumph like a huntress looking at an unfortunately prey that fell into her little trap.

“W..what the fuck do you mean Rei-chan? D…didn’t you say she isn’t back until after dinner?” You panic, heat rushes through your spine, all the way to your face.

“Ooh… did I say that?” Yujin smiles at you amusingly, “If you want to, you can knock on her bedroom door and see if she’s there…”

“Fuck, d… don’t mess with me… you said she wasn’t here! And please stop grinding… oh fuck.” You gasp, the overstimulated tip sends waves and waves of electric signals to the end of your spine, begging for the teasing to stop. A weird yet filthy urge to pee makes you half-crying and half-enjoying, tears start to capture your eyes.

Yujin of course, wouldn’t let you go just this easily. “Beg louder puppy, you look so adorable when you cry for mommy….” She giggles while keeping her grinding in slow motion, making sure all 360 degrees of your sensitive tip and slit gets contact with her warm walls coated by both of her juice and your cum. “Mmph… if you need, let it all out…. Mommy likes it when you give me all.” Yujin starts to rub her clit with her fingers, her other hand caressing your neck right on the hickey she left earlier before the final exam.

You become a moaning and begging mess; Yujin finally lifts herself up to give you a moment to catch up your breath. Your half-soft shaft twitches helplessly in the air, still covered by the mixture of your own desire and Yujin’s essence. “Aww… poor thing, still half hard for mommy. You see the mess you just made in me? It kinda makes me want more, hmm.” She then sits back down, the re-entry to her warm pussy makes your body jolt violently, every cell starts to beg for mercy.

Yujin keeps her non-stop yet very slow grinding, hands now pressing on your throat – enough to reassure you who is in charge. “Shit… I feel like I’m gonna pee if you keep…. Keep doing this to me.” You cannot even try to hide your painful groan anymore.

“Good… why not give it all to mommy then? Hmm?” Yujin smile at you amusedly, hands pressing a bit harder, making you gasp for air. “Or… if you cannot hold it, you can also beg me nicely for me to stop…hehe.”

Meanwhile, Yujin presses her cute little foot at the base of your balls, right at the perineum. She presses your ball lightly with her toes, while clenching her wall around your tip, The double stimulation forces waves and waves of spasm of your half soft shaft – not strong enough for you to come again right after the first wave, but enough for you to stay hard.

“P…please stop! I... I am begging you.”

“Hmm? Weren’t you the one who begged me so hard just a few minutes ago? Make up your mind, my cute little puppy.” Yujin taps your face very softly, while wiping a drop or two of your tears on your chin.

“Stop for now Yujin mommy…. It feels so strange, I can’t…. gonna pee… fuck!”

“Aw… look at you… already a sobbing mess for mommy.” She finally stills her hips, lifting off slowly—your half-soft shaft slips free with a wet pop, cum and her juice stringing between you, dripping onto your stomach and the couch.”

Pure agony.

“It is ok puppy, mommy got you. Just a small reminder for my cute little puppy to not be horny for me all the time~” Yujin’s voice softens, she leans in and gives you a kiss on your cheek. “You know…. You look cuter when you give me everything, especially when you scream out loud. Rei-chan must be really impressed how obedient and needy when you took everything for mommy if she hears it.” Yujin smirks triumphally, like she just won the world.

“Oh… shit, I forgot about her already, is… is she actually here? If she is, why is she not coming out?” You swallow nervously, teeth clenching as you think about the possibility of another girl witnessing your horny, needy self gets completely wrecked by Yujin. “P…perhaps she is taking a nap, or maybe you’re just joking… right?”

“Maybe. You can always just knock if you dare, but I guess you don’t. Anyways. Don’t get distracted by Rei.” Yujin giggles deliberately again, you already guessed the next step. “Hmm… You got your release; you got to enjoy mommy’s tight little pussy. But mommy has yet to have fun, and don’t you think I should come as well? I think my little puppy doesn’t mind me to play with him a bit longer, do you?”

You take a look around, probably not really an ideal environment for having proper sex, paper boxes are still stacking here and there, several drops of your cum and Yujin’s juice landing on the couch cover (that’s the washing machine’s job to take care of). You don’t really mind a round 2 as Yujin is kind right. She deserves to have little fun as well, and you are always very happy to please her.

So you stand up and turn towards her bedroom. “Hey! Where are you going?” Yujin speaks. “Huh? I am just heading to your room, don’t you think it is a bit messy here?”

“Nope.  It.. it is perfectly fine here, come back, we’re doing this my way.” Yujin climbs back onto your lap as you sit back down, she pins your wrists above your head, nails dig into your wrist just enough for you to feel the sweet pain. Then she crashes her lips to yours—claiming, hungry, like she’s starving for her turn.

Her tongue invades through your lips aggressively, like she was the one that was edged for an hour. She kisses you frantically, claiming every bit of your mouth. Yujin releases your wrist, hands now cupping your face. You have yet to recover from the first release, that your movement is not as swift and hungry compared to round 1. Yujin senses it when your kiss becomes a bit hesitated.

“Ah… my puppy is still in that post-sex clarity and pretending he doesn’t need more.” Yujin coos, “But I know your body will be honest.” She signals you to sit up on the couch, back resting on the armrest. Then Yujin drops to all fours between your legs, smiling at you with her “innocent” big eyes and that damn evil pair of dimples.

“What…. What are you doing, Yujin? W…why are you looking at me like that?” There had been a handful of times when Yujin gave you this obviously faked innocent look, and you knew the outcome each time was your poor little dick gets milked dry by her. By her position, you probably guess what trick she is going to play on you this time.

“I just realized that…. Hmmm…my nerdy puppy hasn’t had a chance to feel mommy’s mouth yet. I bet it will be as nice as my little pussy; do you want to try it out? Hehe.” Her grin grows wider, eyes now blinking, anticipating on how you are going to respond.

“Shit… it is not like I have the call anyway.” You murmur.

“Exactly!” She giggles, “I wasn’t asking for your permission anyways, oops!” Yujin gives a slow lick on the base of your shaft, then drags her soft tongue all the way to the top in a painfully slow motion. It is like she just casted a spell on you and your soften length reacts to it, gradually standing up again.

“Good…” Yujin hums like an approval, before slowly takes the tip of your dick into her mouth. “Mmph…” You immediately feel the impact of her warmth and moisture, letting out an involuntary moan while hips bucks once helplessly. She draws little circles on your slit with your tongue, making your body jolt as the wetness meets your sensitive tip.

Yujin really takes her time savoring you. No rush, like how she completely owns you. For a whole minute or two, she just focuses on the very tip of your shaft, not taking more of you in. She licks your frenulum, while constantly applying her saliva onto your swollen tip as her tongue keeps the assault on your manhood.

After dozens of slow cycles being applied to your tip, you can physically feel the urge to release again. Of course, that’s what Yujin wants to see as well – hard and leaking, just for her. Yujin releases your tip with a wet, obscene pop. A thin string of transparent mix of her saliva and you precum stays at the corner of her mouth as she departs. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, before diving back in to you.

“Mmph… I can feel it; you are hard again… hehe.” Yujin giggles, the vibration sends shivers all way the way up through your spine. This time she starts to slowly take you in for more, inch by inch, Yujin takes it all.

“Fuck… it is longer than I expected,” Yujin coughs as she surprisingly wasn’t able to take the full length in the first go.

“Oh shit… you don’t have to take it all in if it’s uncomfortable” You sense the cracking voice of Yujin, eyes glancing on her face, slightly concerned. “Aw… my puppy cares about mommy, how cute! But you know this cock belongs to me and me alone, so I am taking it all.” Yujin goes deeper this time after a brief break, forcing herself to take the entirety of your shaft.

You can feel your tip hitting the back of her throat, Yujin chokes, but hands clinging on your thigh for support. “Mmph…. Ugh…. Shit, it feels so fucking good.” Yujin’s wet, warm mouth traps your length like an alluring vacuum, attempting to suck out all the remaining essence of yours.

She hums quietly, while keeps working on your dick. Unlike it is your first time experiencing pleasure, Yujin clearly knows what she’s doing. She leaves wet slurping sounds every time she lets you off before sucking you back in, gradually destroying your resistance.

“Fuck… Yujin, if you keep sucking like this, I’m gonna come again. Mmph.” You try to slow her down with your cracked voice.

“That’s what I need, baby boy.” Yujin smiles, yet her movement doesn’t slow down. She trails between your frenulum and your slit, tongue brushing your sensitive length. Her head bobbing back and forth, faster and faster, only releases you from her warm mouth when she catches her breath. “Tell me how it feels, puppy.”

“Shit… It feels amazing.” You confess, the urge to plant your seeds into Yujin’s little mouth starts to stuck in your head.

“Good, that’s what I thought too. Which one feels better, my mouth or my pussy?” She releases your now harden shaft with a wet pop while staring right into your dilated pupil.

“I..I like both, honestly.” Your face immediately adds shades of pink, but your twitching dick that is still dangling in the air losing its patience. Yujin pulls you towards her, so you now lie flat on the couch, can’t see her anymore. You wait for Yujin to claim you back in, hips can’t help themselves but trying to thrust into her mouth.

“Aw…you are so impatient, but I guess it is understandable for a little nerd whose virginity just got taken yesterday. No worries though, I am far from done playing with you.” Yujin smirks, her hands grab the base of your length while her elegant finger spreads your precum around your slit. “Mmph….” That sensitive, itchy feeling makes your pelvis jolt. A few weak groans leave your throat as the pleasure starts to build from below.

“Look at how wet you just made me, fuck…” Yujin climbs onto your chest, while spreading her wet, pink pussy open with two of her fingers. They look so tasty, that you instantly grab her waist and pulls her closer to your face. “Fuck, Yujin… let me taste it then.” You mumble.

Yujin automatically starts riding your face as you requested, her left hand yanks your head to adjust the position while the right hand keeps its job of stroking your dick slowly. You grab her juice ass, mouth already watering just as she rubs her pussy on your face.

You stick your tongue out into her folds, tasting the lingering scent of her perfume, of her arousal and the faint taste of your own essence from earlier. It is nowhere near being unpleasant, instead the smell of hormone turns you on even more, your hands start to roam freely on her ass.

Yujin’s thighs clamp you a bit tighter as she starts to speed up her movement, you start to get smothered both physically and mentally. The juicy thighs force your gaze to stay on her shaved, pink pussy and her scent pushes you deeper into this abyss. Your worship of her ass gets more rapid and frantic; you rub Yujin’s bouncy butt and leave light slaps every now and then. The crisp sound of spanking and the mumbled groans from both of you create the most obscene symphony in the room.

“How dare you slap my ass, my puppy is really getting out of his place… mmph, but it feels so good.” Yujin releases your hair, instead rubs her clit in fast circles – she is reaching her climax as well. Her breath visibly hitches; walls clench and getting wetter and wetter.

“Fuck… I need it right fucking now, I need you inside me.” She gets off your chest in a smooth motion, pulling you up. “Now I give you the chance, fuck me properly, make mommy come.” Yujin captures your place, lying flat on the couch with her long legs spread wide open in an “M” shape.

“I know this, it is called the missionary position.” You mumble, while stumbling your way onto her.

“Shut the fuck up and put your stupid nerdy cock in it already!” Yujin slaps your balls while you try to kneel between her legs, you gasp out loud.

“Ouch! Chill Yujin, it is not like I don’t want to fuck you…” You mumble, only for her to pinch your nipples hard. “I told you already, it is you getting fuck by me instead, puppy…”

“I… I am sorry mommy; I just got too excited…” The pain from your chest reminds you to stay in place, so you start to thrust into Yujin’s wet, well lubricated pussy. You grab her tits with both of your hands while you keep your movement below, you draw little circles on Yujin’s swollen nipples and she moans each time you flick your fingers on her sensitive tip.

“Mmph… you had big improvements from last night already, mommy is impressed.” Yujin half-closes her eyes, seemingly enjoying your service. Her praise fuels you up by a notch, you try to speed up your inexperienced thrusts. Yujin locks around your waist, heels digging right into your ass like she’s guiding you through your shaky movements.

You pick up you pace as you are more used to this position, every thrust now gets deeper into Yujin’s fluttering walls. She is tight, wet and needy,  her moans getting louder each time you hit that sweet spot of hers.

“Fuck—puppy, right there—” Her voice cracks on a gasp as you hit deeper. “Harder—give it to mommy like you mean it. Show me how much you needed this after waiting so long.”

You’re still oversensitive from the first release, every thrust sending sharp jolts up your spine that blur the line between pleasure and too-much. Tears prick your eyes again; you blink them back, but she notices. Of course, Yujin always does.

“Aw… crying already?” Yujin coos, one hand sliding up to cup your cheek, thumb brushing a tear away. “That’s my good boy. You waited so patiently for mommy, didn’t you? Edged yourself stupid for an hour just because I asked. And now look at you—fucking me like you were born for it.”

She rolls her hips up to meet you, matching your rhythm, making sure every push bottoms out. Her free hand slips between your bodies; fingers find her clit and rub fast, tight circles. The added friction makes her clench around you—hard—and you groan, hips stuttering.

“Don’t slow down,” she warns, voice breathy but commanding. “Mommy’s close—keep going. Let me feel how desperate you want me even after coming once.”

You oblige, accelerating your pace but each thrust now gets shallower because of the overwhelming amount of stimulation. You feel your balls gets tighten again, impossibly soon, the pressure is building.

“Mmph, just like that, deeper…. Fuck.” Yujin’s fingers are already trembling, rubbing her own clit like a maniac. You can feel like her walls are literally twitching right now as she gets closer to her own climax. So, you thrust deeper following her instructions, “Yes…Yujin mommy, I am gonna come as well!” The building sensation makes you a bit light-headed and ready to release.

“Shit…I’m gonna come! Fuck! Puppy is fucking me so well… Mmph” Yujin is almost screaming now, contrasting with her possessing and dominant edge when she teased the fuck out of you just an hour ago.

Her walls flutter wildly around you, squeezing in rhythmic pulses that make your vision blur. Every thrust drags against her swollen spot; she arches off the couch, tits bouncing with the force of your hips, nails digging crescents into your shoulders. “Mommy’s close—right there—right fucking there—” Her moans turn sharp, desperate, hips bucking up to meet you harder.

As you make another deep thrust, all the way to the furthest you can go, Yujin snaps. Her legs lock your hips so your full length is stuck in her pussy. “Yes yes yes! I am coming… fuck!” A choked cry rips from her throat as her whole body seizes—walls clamping down like a vice, pulsing hot and wet around your cock. Her back bows off the cushions, thighs trembling violently against your sides, clit throbbing under her fingers as she rides the wave through every shuddering contraction. Her pussy flutters, squirting waves of her sweet nectar onto your dick.

The sight, the sound, the sudden tight grip of her orgasm drags you under. Your rhythm stutters; oversensitive nerves scream as her pulsing walls milk you relentlessly. “Yujin…shit! I am gonna”

“Mmph… yes! Give it all to me… you are mine…” Yujin bites her juicy lips while pointing at her swollen tits. You get the instruction, pulling out just in time before bursting right onto her chest. Strands and strands of hot, slick cum shoots out from your slit, splashing onto Yujin’s pretty boobs and a few drops land on her face.

“Good boy… look at all the mess you just made.” Yujin pulls your head close immediately and kisses you, you let her take the lead, still catching your breath after another violent release. You slowly savor her lips and the sweet taste of her saliva mixed with the slightly salty faint smell of your own nectar.

“Fuck… I love it so much, Yujin… You are so fucking perfect.” You humble while burying your face into her neck. She gives you gentle strokes on your hair, fingers caressing the hickey on your neck like an artist inspecting their work. “I know, it is not the first time you saying this. I bet you’ll repeat it 100 times, if I fuck you 100 times.” The triumph smirk is back on her face, tone becomes the familiar possessive one.

“You came all over my tits…” She whispers.

“I did… they are even more gorgeous right now.” You sigh.

“Fuck you. I meant for you to clean it up….”

“Shit…Yes mommy.”

You start your work immediately, now dive in to Yujin’s chest and starts to clean her up. You leave small kisses here and there, worshiping her perfect body while cleaning the evidence of the mess you left on her.  You bury your face deeper, inhaling her—sweat, perfume, sex, you. A shaky breath escapes, half sob, half relief.

“You know… you are always mine… and I am so proud of my puppy, took it all for mommy.” Yujin hums happily, as you go on full submission, body wrapped by hers. You keep worshiping her tits, and give a final lick to swipe that last visible drop of your own cum on her nipple.

“Ay-ay-ay… how I wish my sweetheart Rei-chan could see how obedient my little puppy is right now!” Yujin laughs devilishly as she pads your back with pride, like she is ready to show-off her precious treasure.

Maybe you are too focused on Yujin’s flawless body and her praise, that you didn’t hear the door squeaks.

-

A flushed, cute face peeks through the crack, eyes wide and sparkling with innocent mischief.

“Y..yujin-unnie, O..oppa, is everything ok?”

-

With a somewhat naive heart and immature mind, you thought answering the most math problems in class during middle school is the key ingredient to one’s rizz. You felt weirdly confident that asking a girl out is like a walk in the park with your mathematics fueled brain and a skinny body. And so, it was the prom season and you were starting your great plans. But plans are always just plans, the 3 straight rejections in a row, over the span of one week was the final hammer destroying your self-confidence.

“There is no way that I get rejected by these girls who scored 30% lower than me in the Algebra class Final!” You complained to your friends and received a series of laughter.

-

Your self-confidence was at the rock bottom but the ego is still there. Moving to a new town for high school as your family planned, you decided to start over again but this time you promised to yourself that you won’t get defeated shamefully like how you did in middle school. But your way of approach is unique, rather than go all in and improve yourself overall, you decided to not try at all.

“I’m a damn genius,” You murmured to yourself, “If I just don’t talk to girls, I won’t get rejected by girls. Hahahaha” The logic felt strangely well so you had made your decision. Four years had passed, and the few friends who you made in high school only remembers you as an introvert game-addict kid who was good at math and instruments, before each heading towards different towns for college.

You thought college would be the same, you can keep hiding behind the screen and try to persuade yourself that admiring and becoming a fan of Kpop idols are enough for your romantic need.

You made a second mistake.

-

Your college is famous for its dead social scene. You don’t see parties going around your dorm, you rarely see Frat and Sorority hosting events with everyone dressing up like you only knew they looked like some cowboys and cowgirls.

Library and dorm rooms are the preferred place for your classmates. Especially STEM ones. This day, you made a right turn after walking out of the dining hall instead of heading back straight towards your dorm because you have a Linear Algebra final on the next day so you are studying in the library.

You make it there, pushing open the door of the quiet floor of the library, you feel like this place welcomes you more compared to the dining hall which just keeps blasting whatever music that comes into the manager’s mind. You smell a scent of old books as well as plugged computer chargers (yes you can actually smell that). You take a quick glance around the floor looking for empty seats, only to realize almost every open place is captured by students in grey/black hoodies, with an iPad on their table and a can of Celsius along with lifeless eyes on their faces.

You smirk as you look at the sign which says “No Food or Drinks in the Library”. Difficult times it is, so probably they won’t be strict towards the rules as everyone is already suffering through the Finals Season. You drop your stuff on the chair next to you and sitting down. Suddenly you feel like someone is walking towards you, the seat at the very corner of the library.

“Sorry, this seat was taken, I was using the washroom.” You hear a feminine voice from behind.

Your nerves quickly react before turning around. You take a quick look and indeed see a backpack placing right beneath the chair you just put your stuff on, but the table is empty.

“I... I’m sorry, I didn’t see your stuff under the chair. I’ll go.” You grab your backpack in a smooth motion like a parabola and stand up. After years of lack in conversation with girls, you make a quick decision to escape the scene and avoid any further interactions with this girl before even looking at her at all.

“Chill, you are good. I only need this one seat, you can stay.” She speaks with a really cool and emotionless tone while gently pressing her palm on your shoulder, sending electric shocks through your spine without noticing it.

You panic. You turn your upper body slightly so that you can see her from your 5 o’clock. You try your best to ease your tighten facial muscles and give a polite smile to her.

“Al... alright, I’ll stay then.” You obey her words without realizing it.

“An Yujin.” She introduces her name. In this split second, you finally get a chance to take a quick scan on her. She doesn’t feel like she belongs in the library, you are honest to yourself that she looks stunning. Contrasting with the lifeless hoodies and loose PJ pants near you, she wears a short, white tank top with a plain black leather jacket - unzipped - showcasing the smooth skin around her waist. Crazily long legs are wrapped under a tight pair of jeans indicates the perfect curve of hers. The Dr. Martens boots add an inch or two in height, makes you almost have to look above to see her face. She has really alluring eyes, with carefully done eyelashes alone with grey contact lenses that you almost lose yourself in. The flashy metal necklaces remind you to stop looking before it gets too suspicious. You feel like you won’t be surprised if she tells you she is in the Kpop Dance Club on campus.

“Y/N, n... nice to meet you.” You still try to play it cool but the crack in your voice betrayed you. You quickly turn around and sit down, keeping your arms tightly tugged to your body and try to play it safe.

“You look like that nerd who always sits at the very front row in my Linear Algebra class, no?” Yujin raises her eyebrows, with a seemingly innocent smirk on her face, showing the dimples on her cheek.

“H...how do you know me? I’ve never seen you before in the class.” You hesitate for a second, only to realize it is just the inevitable so you respond.

“You know it is hard to not know when you answer every question the professor asks, right?” The “right” at the end sounds like a teasing, at least you guess that’s what she intends as her smirk gets wider.

“I wouldn’t go to that class at all if it is not because of the fucking participation points.” That smirk on Yujin’s face disappears, as you are indeed aware of the course policy punish the class-skippers.

“T...then why did you pick this class? And it is the Final exam tomorrow, how are you going to pass?” You try to claim some authority but surely you do absolutely no damage to her as the playful yet teasing smirk reappears on Yujin’s face. “Well, I only need to pass this Math elective thingy to finish up my minor’s requirement and I can get it out of the way.” You realize she’s at least a year older than you, despite you are already ahead in the classes.

“Well you asked me how I’m going to pass the class and I’m telling you exactly how. I was trying to grind today and pray probably Gemini or Chat will do me a favor and have everything I need to know into some bullet points.” Yujin plays a sad face, but only in a blink of an eye, she turns from the iPad on her laps towards you and smirks, “but I guess it is my lucky day isn’t it? The smartest nerd in the class decides to sit next to me, and I’m sure you don’t mind to go over the Study Sheet with me and instruct me on how to find an Eigenspace for a linear transformation, right?”

Her words doesn’t sound like a question but more like an order that you don’t dare to disobey. “Probably teach her some stuff and part ways, after today I will go back to my screen and keep my way of living my college life.” You thought to yourself.

The third mistake had been made.

“O...ok, but I’m NOT a NERD!” You try to act strong but obviously she doesn’t buy it.

“Ok nerd!” The evil smile on her faces tells you that she’s the one in charge.

-

Hours had passed at the corner of the library and you already tried three different excuses to dip. But each time Yujin’s aura just keeps you trapped there like a magnetic field.

“Hmm, you have to go for a club meeting? I don’t think so. You can go after I’m done copying the key for the Finals Practice.” She stares right into you, and you are frightened.

“O..ok, I guess it’s the finals week, they shouldn’t have anything important.” You finally give up and just hand your notes to Yujin and pull out your phone.

“That’s it, such a good boy.” Yujin teases.

“Don’t call me like that! It’s not like I owe you anything.” You decide to act tough instead of letting her keep treating you like that so you try to grab your notebook back from her hands.

But at the exact moment you touched her wrist, your instinct makes you pull your hands back like you had touched something toxic. Holding hands are for lovers, but you haven’t even touched a girl’s hand, Yujin’s wrist is ice cold, but soft. It was just a split second but you can feel it.

“What’s wrong?” Yujin turns around and asks.

“No.. nothing.” You feel some heat on your face, you are glad that Yujin quickly put her focus back to the notes. Otherwise, you have no idea how is she going to make fun of you.

- Another hour, your stomach starts to protest for the lack of nutrients.

“Hungry already? Well, I guess I am too. Let’s go get some food and drinks at the K-Barbecue nearby. I got you covered.” Yujin smirks as she hears the noise coming from your stomach.

“No.... th...thank you for the offer, but I usually eat at the dining hall.” It is the chance you had been waiting for; it is the chance to bail you out of this awkward interaction. You just want to go back to your dorm and probably stare at your girl group posters on the wall instead of interacting with this stunning yet a bit possessive girl in the library.

“I said I got you covered.” Yujin’s smirk is gone and you can see nothing but a cold stare on your face. “Don’t make me feel like a brat just bullies nerds for fun, that isn’t hard, is it?”

(But you are! You think. But of course, that’s not what comes out of your mouth)

“Well I guess I’ll go then.” You sigh.

“Hey nerd, I’m offering you a meal! Why are you this frustrated? Do you think I make you look bad if you eat out with me?” Yujin challenges.

“N...no! I... I just... had never.” You murmur.

“Never what?”

“I had never eaten out with girls before.” You totally give up, the fortress, the bubble you tried all of your high school years to build just cannot resist this storm named Yujin.

“Ah! Then you’re not just a nerd, but a VIRGIN nerd! Hahaha.” Yujin blasts into laughter but you don’t even try to argue, because the saddest part is that she is kinda right, although you had been brainwashing yourself that you are not.

Yujin then gives a loud slap onto your back and tell you to pack up quickly, which draws attention from a few other students nearby. You feel so embarrassed that you just crumble your way out of the library behind Yujin like a puppy of hers.

-

(In the Korean BBQ place nearby your campus)

The crisp sound of Yujin popping open a bottle of Soju draws your attention while you are staring at your laps for the whole time.

“Want some?” Yujin sniffs the bottle and a big smile grows on her face; the cute dimples reappear.

“What? How… how are you offering alcohol to someone who’s under 21? I turn 21 next year and before that? No alcohol for me.” You argue.

“Expected words from a nerd.” Yujin murmurs while chugging a whole glass of Soju in just a second. “But you know what? I think alcohol is a good thing in one situation, when a coward needs to be brave. Why are you even nervous? You don’t even look at me when you’re talking to me.”

“I just don’t feel comfortable.” You feel your lips become dry so you reach for your water cup.

“Hey! Isn’t that our professor?” Yujin points her delicate finger towards the entrance of the restaurant.

You quickly stand up to take a fast glance of the door, as the so called “model student”, the least thing you want to get witnessed is eating out with a girl like Yujin the night before the final exam especially when there is also a bottle of Soju on the table. But you see nothing but a crowd of loud seniors who seemingly enter here to celebrate the end of their quarter.

“I don’t see anyone. Are you just messing up with me? Honestly that scared me a bit.” You sit back down and grab your water cup, finishing it in one hell of a gulp. But it obviously doesn’t taste like water, it is spicy but has a hint of floral and strawberry scent. When you turn your sight back to Yujin, you can only see her playful yet teasing smile, still trying to play innocent.

“Y… you poured Soju into my...” You try to say something but the strong taste of the Soju makes your throat burn and your eyes watering instantly.

“Negative soldier, I didn’t pour anything to your cup.” Yujin says, while biting down the straw dipping in the cup in her hands with her cherry-red lips.

“Wait a second, there wasn’t a straw for your Soju cup….” Your heat skips a beat and probably already guessed what just happened. But to prove your lemma, you look down to your “water cup”, and a clear cherry-red mark is right at the rim.

That was it.

Yujin drew your attention away while quickly swapped her cup with yours, knowing that you’d drink it following your instinct. But the lipstick mark? That was something beyond your comprehension. You are still refusing to accept the fact that you indirectly kissed a girl.

“Hmm... this straw has some interesting taste to it.” Yujin giggles while half closing her eyes, makes you feel like she wants to figure out what’s inside you through the straw that you just nervously chewed a couple minutes ago to avoid staring into her face.

“Let it go! It is so nasty, why would you ever put that straw into your mouth? And why would you ever offer your cup to someone else? Well even you want to trick me into drinking the Soju, at least.... at least don’t let me drink it with your cup.” Your lengthy response surprisingly didn’t stutter under the influence of alcohol, instead you feel a strange heat on your face.

“oooh nerd, why is your face as red as the charcoal? Is it too hot in here? Or is it... me?” Yujin finally moves her lips out of the straw, but what comes out of them is like a sharp pierce targeting right at your weaknesses.

“H...hey! Stop teasing me like I had never talked to woman before! I’m much better in this than you thought. I’m a fucking expert when it comes to relationships.” You quickly regret what just left your mouth but it is too late. Obviously, the alcohol didn’t work in your favor as your brain just wouldn’t realize Yujin isn’t the person who you want to brag your “title” in front of her.

She quickly catches you, not missing a chance and laughs with her mouth wide open. “What the hell did you call yourself? An expert in relationships? What kind of next level bullshit is that? I thought you said I am the first girl besides your mother who eats out with you?”

“S... sorry, it is an inside joke with my friends, i... I didn’t mean to say that in front of you.” You give up, grab the Soju bottle from Yujin and chugged the whole bottle in one go.

“But fuck it, I have my own ways fulfilling my romantic needs. I got my wives with me.” You are mad at your mouth at the exact moment when you said this, wondering why wouldn’t they just shut the hell up.

“Your wives? I wouldn’t be surprised if you call some random anime characters your wife and hug a body pillow with her body on it while you sleep at night. But you know what, it is ok and I won’t blame a virgin nerd for being into stuff like this.” Yujin jokes after quickly waved and signaled the staff for two more bottles of Soju.

“No... They’re real people!”

“Hmm... but I am more curious about you.” Yujin stops in the middle, makes your body jolt a little before she continues, “I wonder why a guy with a cute face like you will be like this. A nerd with no social life.”

You can’t see any emotions on her face. You also can’t see the meaning behind her seemingly compliments.

“Don’t... don’t say that. Yujin. You are drunk.” You murmur.

“It’s been five hours since you knew my name, but it took you this long to say it for the first time.” Yujin’s cold eyes force you to lose the staring contest, otherwise you know for a fact that you’ll fall deeper into her gaze.

“It’s just the alcohol.” Your face as red as her cherry red lipstick, the color on the rim of the Soju glass in front of you. “Come on, you’ll get there once the Soju starts working.” Yujin smirks.

-

Your second bottle of Soju is down; you feel warmth on your face but fog inside your brain. The final filter between what you think and what you say out loud is gone. “Alcohol is good when a coward needs to be brave.” Yujin’s voice echoes in your head.

“H...hey, Yujin, you know what? I haven’t been rejected by a single girl since middle school! ZERO! Doesn’t that make me an expert?” You try to defend your title, without noticing you are making yourself a joke to her.

“Then why are you so scared of me?” Yujin asks.

“I... I’m not scared of you. You... you are just a bit too aggressive.” You lie but your cracking voice betrays you.

“You are not just scared, you are terrified.” Yujin says, while grabbing your phone next to your plate and turned it on.

Lock screen? Of course, another Idol. Yujin smirks before slipping your phone through her fingers back to your palm.

“Be honest with me nerd, I’m curious who are those “wives” you’re talking about.” Yujin challenges.

“Well... they are some Kpop idols. They are really... pretty and I love them. I have their posters everywhere in my room.” You confess while knowing to be honest is the only option under such an aggression from Yujin. A pitiful smile appears on her face.

"You talk big for someone who's spent four years in a bubble." she says, her voice low and dangerous. "You think they're enough to keep you warm?"

"They're enough for me," you mutter, though your pulse is lying.

"You’ve spent so long looking at girls who aren’t in the same world as you, that you’ve forgotten what it’s like to have one breathe in your face. You’re not an expert. You’re a collector. And collectors are always so protective of their little treasures, aren't they?"

She stands up, slowly zipping her leather jacket, her eyes never leaving yours.

"I want to see it. I want to see the place where you hide from the world. I want to see these 'wives' you think are so much better than the real thing."

"Yujin, it's late. I have the exam—"

"I didn't ask if you had an exam." She walks around the table, stopping right behind your chair. She leans down, her hair brushing your neck, her voice a ghost of a whisper in your ear. "I'm bored of this hide-and-seek. And I think you’ve been hiding for long enough. You’re going to take me to your room, and show me exactly what it is you’re so afraid of me seeing."

“It’s your choice nerd.” She doesn't wait for an answer and starts walking toward the door. You’re left with two choices: stay here and be the coward she says you are, or take a deep breath and dive into her.

You finally understand what Yujin said. “Alcohol is a good thing, when a coward needs to be brave.”

-

You accept her challenge.

-

When you chase her out to the sidewalk, Yujin is already yards in front of you. But your legs start picking up the pace regardless. The Soju in your system shatters your logic and all you know is to follow Yujin, even though she’s heading towards your own dorm, you aren’t the one who takes the lead.

“Hey nerd, don’t you think we are a bit too slow?” The steadily rhythm of Yujin’s boots hitting the sidewalk stops. She turns her upper body towards you with an evil-ish smile on her face.

You walk closer to her.

Closer, yet she still isn’t moving.

Closer, and you are already parallel to her.

“Yujin, why aren’t you mov...” In a blink of an eye, she grabs your wrist firmly. Firm enough to make sure you give up any thoughts to pull your hand back. Her hand is cold, like the air outside at a January night but it conducts waves and waves of heat all the way up to your face. Yet you still freeze, don’t know what to do.

“Now I also become the first girl to ever hold your hand. So make sure you follow me close, ok?” Yujin’s voice is surprisingly warm, contradicting with the firm grip of hers.

She then interlocks her fingers with yours, like a confirmation of the fact that you cannot run away from her.

Honestly, you don’t know if you want to anymore.

The January night is humid and dark, but where your fingers meet hers is like a sun.

“Yujin, I...”You are visibly nervous, voice cracking.

“Sheesh, just don’t say anything, otherwise I need ANOTHER way to keep that nerdy mouth of yours shut. Friendly reminder, that would give me another “first time” of yours.” Yujin hovers her finger on you lips, close enough for you to feel her scent from the perfume. Fresh. Flowery. Alluring.

-

For many times during the walk, you tried to say something to ease the awkward situation (or probably only YOU feel like it is awkward). Either the pure absurdity of a girl like Yujin, offers to visit your dorm; or it’s your sheer nervousness of not knowing what to do when a girl holds your hand like this; or you even wanted to apologize to her as you didn’t make your room organized enough for her to come, knowing her presence there is inevitable now.

But her “warnings” had shut you up. You can hear nothing near you, nothing from the empty winter campus night before the Finals, nothing from the occasional pedestrians that exchange weird looks with each other, probably wondering how you get to hold such a hot girl’s hand with your pure frightened and nerdy face. The only sound you can hear is your heart beat, it’s only getting faster, like your GPU fans during an intense gaming session.

Are you feared for the upcoming unknowns?

Do you anticipate it even, because the protagonist is a girl like Yujin?

Do you still care your so called expert title, along with your no-talking-to-girls philosophy?

You honestly don’t know.

-

The next time you hear something, you realize you are already in the elevator, fingers still interlocked with Yujin’s.

“Which floor?” Yujin doesn’t even look at you, instead she peeks at the mirror that reflects a seemingly inharmonic image of you two holding hands silently.

“S...six.” You swallow, still yet to recover from the freezing weather outside.

Yujin presses the button, then goes silent.

You expect her to say something, probably Yujin will confess to you that it is all a prank, just to shatter a nerd’s night before a final exam. Probably Yujin will change her mind, realizing a complete noob in dealing with relationships isn’t who she wants. Probably Yujin will just disappear, and everything becomes a fever dream caused by alcohol.

Fourth.

Fifth.

Still silent.

“Ding!”

The crisp sound of the elevator drags you back to the reality, the door then slides open, the corridor welcoming you like the red carpet for the biggest stage of your life so far.

Yujin then reaches her free hand to your hoodie’s pocket like it is hers and takes your keycard in one smooth motion like she already knows where you put it.

“606.” She reads the cover of the card, with a smirk like a predator finally cornering her prey.

The familiar corridor becomes so strange, your steps becoming heavier and heavier, yet the feeling and warmth of Yujin’s fingers make you feel like you have a pair of wings.

When you finally reach your room, your hand is already trembling, and Yujin taps the card on the reader. The green light goes up. The door handle is then turned, and Yujin gestures you to get in first like it is her place.

You obey.

“Are you going to welcome me to your bubble.” Yujin stops at the door, raising her eyebrows. “Or are you going to shut the door and pretend nothing happened? It is never too late for you to be a coward and fold.” Her tone is challenging yet taunting at the same time, like she is already certain that you don’t dare to just lock her out.

“P....please come in, my first ever visitor.” You take a deep breath and close your eyes.

The door is then shut, Yujin steps in.

-

The room is left exactly the same as before you left earlier today, but the difference is that there is one extra person in it.

The RGB computer case is still shining, the fans roaring but still too quiet to cover your intense heart beat. Dozens of posters hanging on your walls from a variety of Kpop girl groups along with a few sheets of math worksheets randomly spread across the workspace. Below the table are stacks of empty energy drink boxes that you are too lazy to recycle yet. Everything is so peaceful, before tonight.

Yujin is right next to you, her perfume which you have no idea which brand it is from, aggressively capture your room and replaces the smell of computer coolants, energy drinks and laundry sheets.

She is still yet to say anything. She takes a glance of your room like a visitor in a museum, or rather, in this shrine of yours that you never shared with anyone else before.

In this room, you were the expert.

In this room, you brainwashed yourself that Kpop idols are enough to keep you from being lonely.

In this room, you became the pro gamer that yaps about everything, let aside of your quiet mouth in public.

In this room, you created the perfect bubble to isolate you from the real world.

But also in this room, you have the girl who you realized just now that will change your world in one night.

-

Yujin then pulls out your gaming chair, which you spent 2 months of dining stipends to acquire. She then puts her leg on top of your desk, lying back on the chair while staring on the posters of yours.

“Hmm, let’s see my rivalries.” Yujin finally breaks the silence, but with a dangerous, low tone.

“My rivalries.” That’s what Yujin just called your idol “wives”. You stand frantically behind her, teeth clenching.

“They are perfect for you, nerd. Don’t you think so? They are pretty, they are quiet, they make you feel like you are in control.” Yujin murmurs with a barely audible tone, like a demon whispering to your ears.

“They stay where you want them to be. They always welcome you home with the sweetest smiles they have.” She keeps pushing.

“Yujin, please, it’s just how I like...”you don’t get to finish, for sure.

“But most importantly, they don’t reject you. Never.”

“Reject.”

This word hits you like a lightning. Yujin is a guest in your room, yet she knows your secrets like she is the owner of this space.

The game is over.

“I can see you are starving, nerd. But you are feeding yourself with papers.” Yujin carefully picks up the sleeved, limited version photo cards on your mousepad. The ones that you gave up a lot of fortune to obtain from the collectors.

“Honestly? This one is really nice, and this, she is stunning. This? Adorable face.” Yujin smirks with tease and pity both on her face.

“But they don’t take your heart away tonight.” Yujin’s smirk disappears, while she puts each photo card face down on your mousepad. One by one. Your heart is hammering your chest.

Yujin stands up and approaches you. Her boots tapping the carpet, you back up. She walks even closer, your back hits the closet.

She reaches out, her fingers hooking firmly into the fabric of your hoodie, and yanks you forward until your chest is a heartbeat away from hers.

"Look at you," she whispers, her eyes scanning your face with a dark, terrifying clarity. "You’re trembling. Your heart is trying to hammer its way through your ribs. And yet, you haven't moved an inch toward that door."

She tilts her head, a slow, predatory smirk spreading across her lips. She isn't threatening to go; she’s highlighting the fact that you’re staying.

"You could have stopped this at the library," she murmurs, her voice dropping to a low, possessive register. "You could have walked away at the restaurant. But you didn't. You followed me all the way back to this little cage of yours. Why, nerd? Why is a 'scared' little boy like you standing here, letting me take over his room?"

This is a trap. Your older self tries to fire one last time—to make an excuse, to blame the alcohol—but the words die in your throat. You look at her, and for the first time, you stop trying to pretend you're a victim of circumstance. You realize that every step you took tonight was a step toward this exact moment.

"Because I wanted you to," you confess, the truth feeling like a physical weight leaving your chest. Your voice is raw, stripped of all the defenses you built for the past four years.

You take a shuddering breath, looking directly into her grey contacts, offering up the last of your pride.

"I don't want to be an expert anymore. I just want... whatever you're going to do to me."

The silence that follows is electric. You aren't just a "nerd" she caught; you are the prey that walked into the trap and closed the door behind yourself.

"Finally," she whispers, her thumb grazing your lower lip with a touch that feels like a branding iron. "The truth. I knew you were a fast learner. You've spent your whole life watching, nerd. Now, you're going to learn what it's like to be handled."

Before you can react, her lips catch yours. Your body jolts at the exact moment of contact. Her lips are full and juicy, with a scent of the Strawberry Soju earlier tonight and her lipsticks. She savors your lips carefully, upper then lower, each time she her lips move, your spine just feel like waves and waves of electrons launching into your brain.

Several groans leave your throat out of your control, she then bites your bottom lip lightly, just enough for you to stop making sounds. And she pulls back. It wasn’t a wet and messy kiss like you thought a girl like Yujin would give you. It was more like a statement, popping the bubble you had forced yourself to live in.

“Say bye-bye to your first kiss, nerd. But buckle up because it is just the beginning.” Yujin lifts your chin up by her delicate finger, forcing you to stare right into her. You don’t know what’s behind those grey contacts, but you are certain you want to see it.

Yujin then places her palms on your shoulders. Before you can figure out what happened, she shoves you onto your bed. The mattress bouncing you back like a protest as it experiences twice of the weight than it normally should.

Yujin then kicks off her boots; laps crossed over your waist and staring down at you like a predator. Yet, you know for a fact that you are her willing prey. Your breath is messy, yet your body is honest. The tent is visible through your sweatpants. “Uhh ohh, don’t you think I can’t feel it, are you seriously enjoying being beneath a girl?” Yujin’s teasing smirk drives you even crazier.

“Yes... Yujin, please... everything.” Your brain is overflow by the adrenalines that you don’t acquire from playing video games, you can’t process logic and language anymore.

She then leans down and kisses you, this time it is much messier one. Her tongue swiftly crosses your mouth and finds yours, swirling. She places her palm around your neck, and for sure she can feel your pulse is probably above 200 Bpm already so she lets you go, with a thin line of saliva connecting your lips and hers.

“Damn nerd, I’d better stop kissing you otherwise you are going to have a heart attack.” She says with a surprised and amusing tone.

“Did that make you feel this excited?” She asks, biting her lower lip and eyes half closed.

“You taste so good, Yujin.” You lift your head up to seek her lips. She pushes you back to the mattress with both of her palms.

“Don’t get too cocky nerd, I told you you are mine tonight, so you take whatever I give you, otherwise I’d walk out of that door right now and you can finish yourself in your dreams. Understand?” Yujin whispers, just to remind you who’s the one in charge.

“Yes. Ma’am.”

“You’d better hold on tight. It’s going to be the best night of you’ve ever had, that you didn’t even dare to dream of in your wildest fantasies.” Yujin puts her lips right onto your ear, the air flowing into your ear canal makes your body jolt.

-

You realize this is really happening when Yujin swings her leather jacket off her body, just randomly throws it on your gaming chair.

Before you can process, you find your palms naturally locating her waist and hovering on her. It is less than an inch, your hands can already feel the heat of her silky skin. Yet you don’t dare to touch it, because Yujin didn’t ask you to.

“Ah, I see it, our nerd wants to touch me. Do you?” Yujin leans in. You can feel her breath brushing your neck, making you itch, but it cannot brush off the most primal desire that you had never experienced before.

You nod frantically, waiting for her permission.

Yujin doesn’t say a word, instead she just smirks and takes your hand and presses them onto her waist, sliding it up and down. It is so smooth and warm. Your eyes are already half-closed, your pulse gets messier because of the feelings from your hands.

“God, it is so different.” You squeeze out a few words.

“I bet it feels much nicer than when you rub your fingers on those photo cards or posters alone.” Yujin says, while she moves your hands inside her white tank top.

Your fingers are literally trembling and hands shaking, as your remaining logic knows where this is going to end up.

There was it. Yujin lets go of your hands and nods at you as a signal for you to “explore”, while she pulls off her tank top in one smooth motion.

You stop. Too frightened, or rather confused how to react to the scene before you. Yujin still sits on top your laps while you lie on the mattress on your back, but there isn’t a piece of fabric covering her upper body besides her plain black bra.

You hands roaming around her chest, a finger nervously taps her nipple, as a way to ask for her permission to proceed.

“Go ahead nerd, show me what’ve you got and you better make me feel good.” Yujin murmurs and your hands immediate move like a horse off its leash.

You grab a handful of her gorgeous breast and gently squeeze it while tickling her nipples through the fabric. A few moans filled with enjoyment and lust escape from Yujin’s throat, like a compliment to your effort.

That’s not enough, so you sit up and plant your face right into her chest and give the deepest inhale of your life. You greedily sniff her and your brain is immediate filled with nothing but her gorgeous scent. Her expensive perfume, her body wash, and the smell of hormone all together, pushing you to an abyss.

You bite her tits through her bra lightly and teasingly, right before sucking them with your lips. When you see Yujin’s pupils behind that cold, grey contact are starting to dilate and the moans becoming more primal, you realize it is time to take this final barrier away.

So you move your arms from her waist to her back, attempt to remove the final piece cover of her full and beautifully shaped breasts. But the sensory overload and the lack of experience fails you.

Yujin giggles while looking your fingers desperately trying to undo her bra. “That’s so cute of you trying but I guess the first-timer needs some help don’t you?”

A few groans leave your throat. She then reaches her back and unhooks the bra in an agonizing fashion. Contrasting to your hunger and lust in you gaze, she slowly pulls the bra down, revealing a stunning scenery right in front you.

“Oh my God, it is so beautiful.” You murmur, while your lips automatically position on her nipple. Just like tasting the cherry on top of a cake, you carefully put her nipple into your mouth and give it a nice lick, wet and slow.

“Hmm, good.” Yujin hums.

You then swirl you tongue around her tits, drawing circles back and forth. Her body jolts each time when the tip of your tongue makes contact with her nipple, the obscene wet sound coming out of your lips keeps pushing Yujin to an edge.

Yujin holds the back of your neck, grabbing your hair while pressing your face closer to her chest.

You gasp, you feel like the air in your lung is replaced by the most alluring and feminine scent you’ve ever smelled. Yet, you don’t stop the movement of your tongue, faster and faster.

“Hmm, shit, just like that, you are such a good boy.” Yujin murmurs, while you leave a wet pop as you pull your head back for air. Then you immediately dive back for the other nipple.

The fan of your computer is still roaring, but you can’t hear anything but your own hammering heart and Yujin’s occasional moans. You savor her other nipple nice and slow like a lollipop, saliva mixes with her sweat.

The time feels slow, after what you feel like a century, Yujin finally releases you from this paradise, pulling your face away from her. But you want more, so you look at her, breath breaking.

“I have no fucking idea where you learned all that from,” Yujin gasps, “But before anything else, you are going to answer me, which one feels better.” She then stops, while she starts to slowly unzip her jeans.

“Jerking off alone with those posters, or having me on your bed?” She lets her jeans slide down from her insane long legs, while looking at you with her eyes that are obviously faking to be innocent.

“You Yujin, definitely.” You react fast and are on your knees next to the bed already, while Yujin sits on the edge of your bed, looking down at you. “That was the answer I thought too. I’m glad to see you are being honest, and my good little boy should get his reward, yes?”

“Yes Yujin, please... anything.” You beg, not a bit of your tone sounds like your old self even just a day before. You are already lost in desires, you don’t even try to think how dumb and silly you sounded like.

“Hmm, then I am going let you show me how much you want me here.” Yujin stretches her elegant yet alluring legs and put her ankle right on your shoulders.

You swallow hard, as now all you can see are her juicy thick thighs and her white cotton panties, with a damp mark in the center. You must be honest with yourself that you’ve never seen this in person, but you are certain the wetness on her panties means she’s aroused.

“Why are you staring nerd?” Yujin teases you with a low tone.

“Because you are so beautiful.” Those words don’t even need any of thinking.

“Then what do you want to do to me?” Yujin raises her playful tone just a little bit, but already enough to turn you on even more.

“I.... I want to taste you.” Your face is as red as the LED lights on your PC, but you don’t know if it is arousal or embarrassment.

“More.”

“I... I want to dive my face in your thighs and lick them.” Your instinct knows more than you thought before.

“Mhm, and then?” Yujin giggles, although you can’t see her face.

“I... I also want to taste your.....your.....” You stutter, not sure what word to use as for sure you never needed to think about it.

“My pussy?”

“Y... yes.”

“Then ask nicely nerd.”

“Yujin... please, may I taste your pussy?”

Yujin then laughs with her teeth as she puts her fingers onto the waistband of her panties. Slowly, she pulls it down like an artist revealing her new statue.

Artist indeed. Her pussy is pink and already damp, with carefully trimmed hair around the entrance. You can’t wait for any longer, your primal side of your mind makes you stick your face right into it.

You take a deep breath, but there isn’t any unpleasant smell from her pussy. It is her hormone, arousing and addictive at the same time. You lick it with your tongue, inserting it half way into her pussy and just move it up and down, left and right.

The soft and warm feeling of her walls wraps around your tongue, and you can feel Yujin’s body jolting. She lets out a soft moan, making you itch even more and you realize your pants is at the breaking point due to your length.

“Yujin, can I please take my clothes off?”

“Not yet babe, gotta make me feel it first.” Yujin smirks, while rubbing her finger on her clit. “Try my clit here, do it gently, it is sensitive.”

“W.... what is clit?”

“Hell, where did the smartest nerd in my class go? Don’t mess with me. Or? Is it because you are a virgin and have no idea what I’m talking about?” Yujin’s smirk is gone, but you can tell she isn’t mad at you.

“Yes...”

“Yes what?”

“I....”

“You’d better answer carefully.” The possessive edge of her tone is surprisingly alluring. Something in your mind is turned on.

“I’m a fucking virgin and I can’t hold it anymore! Yujin, please let me...” You shout, even half crying.

“Oh, my poor little boy, I can see the desperate tears in your eyes.” Yujin’s tone softens, but immediately becomes teasing, “I guess it is time for the next step?”

You nod frantically, while your hands already positioned onto the waistband of your sweatpants. “Take it off.” Yujin commands, with a split second, you are already naked, standing right before her.

Your length is released like it has been held in positions by a spring, the moment your boxers are down, it bounces up to the air, already twitching and the pre-cum is all over the place.

Yujin doesn’t say a word, she stares at you silently, taps the bed as a signal for you to get back on. So, you do, you are lying in the bed again, and Yujin slowly approaches you, until her pussy is inch away from your face.

“Keep tasting it baby boy. By the way, you got a good cock for a virgin nerd, fuck... it’s getting me wet.” She puts one finger into her mouth while speaking, eyes half closed.

She turns around then sits down right on your face, forces you to get smothered in her scent. You grab her bouncy ass with both of your hands, rub and squeeze it into different shapes.

“Shit, your butt is so juicy.” While your hands enjoy the texture of her butt, you keep your mouth working nicely around her pussy, tongue drawing gentle circles around her clit, sucking it every now and then.

Yujin hums amusedly, while pulling your shirt above your chest. She quickly notices your nipples are hard as well, though certainly not as full and big in size compared to hers.

Yujin then teases your nipples with her soft, delicate fingers. The warmth of her fingertip contrasts with the coolness of her press-on nails. Your body trembles each time she brushes your nipple.

“Oh shit, just like that Yujin, you make me feel so good.” Your voice cracks from the sensation, but your trembling body alone is enough for Yujin to realize how much she just turned you on.

“Damn nerd, your body is shaking like you are electrocuted.” Yujin smirks, “You look like such a slut, nerd.” She then rubs it even faster, your body trembles even more, a few pathetic moans escape from your throat.

“You’re coming just by getting your nipples rubbed, mhm?” You can’t see Yujin’s face, but you know for a fact that she’s teasing you with that evil smirk.

You face is pressed towards the pillow by her juicy, thick ass. So you can only response by accelerating your tongue that’s already deep into her vagina. You also don’t forget to take care of her butt, you sniff her silky skin and worship it nicely with your hands.

“Oh shit, I can feel it coming.” Yujin murmurs, she then rides your face faster and rougher, only releases you for air when your grasp on her ass gets stronger.

You don’t see this as a punishment though, you see it as a reward. The deepest fear inside you head, which is to get rejected by girls, is perfectly solved by Yujin. You want to please her, because you know that she’ll then be the one to take good care of you and you don’t have to do anything but to obey.

You still concentrate on the movement of your tongue, trying your best to find those spots where Yujin moans the loudest. Your tongue swirling inside her, you don’t even know what you’re doing this whole time, but your hunger and lust hidden beneath that nerdy persona drove you all the way here.

“Oh...fuck... I’m coming...”Yujin’s voice starts to crack as she continues riding your face, movements become messier. She rubs her nipples and you are ready for the incoming flood.

You lick her clit with the tip of your tongue, and you feel like Yujin’s thighs are starting to shake. “Ugh fuck, I’m coming! Fucking your nerdy face makes me feel so good! Mmph. Eat mommy’s Pussy, ahhhh!” Yujin cries out loud, nails digging deep into your torso.

But you don’t feel any pain, instead you feel an intense wave of pleasure from your body to your brain, while Yujin just mercilessly releases herself right on your face. Her pussy twitches, nectar squirting out straight to your throat. You have your mouth wide open, receiving every single drop of this elixir of hers. It tastes like hormone, it tastes like desire, it taste like... Yujin.

Her body then softens after the climax and she finally lets go of your face and lies down right next to you on the mattress. You turn your face full of her nectar towards her, open your mouth, showing Yujin that you’ve got every single drop of her climax in you.

Then you swallow everything while staring right into her eyes - even lick your lips - like a puppy desperately asking for commend from his owner.

“Good boy, you made me feel real good, so mommy is going to give you what you want.” Yujin’s tone finally softens, you then plant your face into her breasts again, leaving gentle licks and soft kisses here and there, as a way to totally give in and let her own you like she did.

Yujin then supports herself on her elbow, with the other hand approaching your shaft. “Look right at me.” Her soft tone disappears, back to her old possessive, dominant voice. “Your cock is already so itchy, leaking all over the place.” She then taps the tip and draws a circle right on your urethra with her nails.

“Oh fuck... Yujin.... I’m going to come if....” Your whole body jolts, hands desperately grab the bed sheet.

“Not yet. I said you belong to me tonight, so you are not coming until I say ‘Puppy, come for mommy’, understand?” Yujin’s cold stare makes you feel even more excited.

“Yes.... mommy... anything you say.” “Repeat yourself, who do you belong to?”

“I am An Yujin’s Puppy, please use me as you like. Fuck.....” You don’t even know if you should feel ashamed by blasting out such words, but clearly that’s what your body wants you to say.

“Good boy, I like to see your slutty face begging mommy for more.” Yujin smirks. You are done with pretending that you don’t need anyone for company, you are done to act like someone who is too academic and rational to care about romances. You’ve been starving. You’ve been waiting for someone to see through those masks you put on and get you taken care of. Yujin is that savior you’ve been waiting for.

With her, you don’t need to think, you don’t need logic. All you need is to follow and obey. That’s why you don’t even try to hide your loud moan - half lust and half relief - when you finally feel her warm and soft grasp on your length.

“Fuck.....”

“You’ve been waiting for this moment all night no? My little boy.” Yujin approaches your ear and whispers. “Let me give you exactly what you need.”

“Yujin... please...”

“Don’t say anything, just feel.” She tightens her grasp just a little bit and starts to stroke your length in an agonizingly slow motion.

A few drops of clear pre-cum immediately leak out from the exit, your hips spontaneously thrust upwards, but she quickly slaps your leg to warn you, so you stop.

“Hmmm, More please....it feels so good.”

“I told you to be a quiet puppy.” Yujin takes off her panties that are still hanging around her hips, and slowly shoves it into your mouth.

And of course this can’t shut you up, her fresh, aroused scent immediate intoxicate your mind as you mumble harder while still trying to thrust for more frictions on your length.

Your eyes are closed, every nerve of your body is concentrated to the point of contact with Yujin’s soft hand. She still strokes you slowly, enjoying your aroused face with her pantie shoved into your mouth.

“Such a submissive little boy,” Yujin whispers, while steadily accelerates her movement. “Cock already so hard for me.”

“Mmhm, mmph....” you start to lose your control as she strokes you faster and faster, you nails dig deep into the sheet as if it is the final thing you can hold on to before falling into an abyss. Yet, her scent in your mouth and her motion on your shaft push you even deeper.

Yujin then leans closer to your dick, you can feel her breath brushes the tip of it. She then opens her mouth, as much as your brain is already processing the image of a hot girl like Yujin giving you a blowjob, she instead just hovers her lips right above you cock, and a thin line of her saliva drips right on your glans.

Yujin then spreads her spit out around the top of your dick, but your body starts to tremble each time her finger touches your sensitive glans. You are so desperate for release that you are dare enough to thrust into Yujin’s grasp instead of letting her stroke you.

“Hmm... my naughty little puppy is so desperate, fucking mommy’s hand with his leaking cock. Where did that smart nerd in my class go? Look at you, you are such a fucking slut right now.” Yujin murmurs while she keeps stroking your dick, while gently massaging your balls with her other hand.

You are already on the edge. Not only because the physical sensation, but also something on the mental level. Since years ago, you’ve been spending your lonely nights on your bed, hands desperately stroking your shaft, imagining what would it be like to have company. Now you do. Yujin takes good care of you and knows exactly what you need, although with some prerequisites.

Rather than feeling embarrassed by her teasing or even humiliating words, you find yourself being turned on by her evil whispers. You give in and let Yujin take over complete control over your body and your mind. Yujin then removes her pantie from your mouth which has been soaked with both of her nectar from her earlier orgasm and your saliva.

You breathe heavily with your mouth as the sensation down there continues to build up even more. “My baby boy, now it is your chance. Tell me how much you wanted this, how much you want to release in mommy’s hand.” Yujin approaches your face, those big eyes filled with lust blinking right in front of you.

“Ooh fuck.... Yujin. I can’t hold it anymore, you made me feel so good. Ahhh.” You voice airy and cracks, you feel like your room is starting to disappear, and your entire world converges to your shaft. But Yujin stops her motion. Your already-red dick immediately twitches; the veins are visible through the skin.

“Please.... please don’t stop.” You cry out.

“I asked you to tell me how desperate you want to come, but you didn’t answer me.” Yujin smirks, while teasing your leaking length with her finger tip.

“Fuck... Yujin, you got me. I can’t.... shit.... I want to come so bad, I’ve been waiting for this all night. You are so fucking hot and everything just feels so good.” You confess.

“Tell me, am I better than those posters and photo cards?” Yujin asks.

“Absolutely.” You don’t even hesitate for an answer. It is not that you don’t love your idols anymore, but sensory overload had made you forget everything else in the world but Yujin. At this point, you would even agree to write her name on your own Final Exam tomorrow if she needs to, but that’s obviously not what what she cares about.

“Then if I let you come, will you be a good puppy of mine? Doing anything I ask you to?” Yujin keeps smirking, those dimples seem nothing but pure seduction. You cannot hold it for any longer.

“Please... Yujin.... I’ll do anything you want, you can use me however you like, just let me... ah fuck....” The moment you feel Yujin’s hand back on you, you’re like ascending to heaven.

“Good boy. I’ll count down from five and you can come.”

“Five...” Yujin strokes faster. “Tell me, did any of your idol “wives” drive you this far?”

“No...”

“Four... Three... Two...”Each count comes with acceleration from her movement. “Did any of those posters make you gasp for air like this? Like your lung is exploding?”

“No....ugh....”You are there. The flood is coming.

“One....”

“Oh fuck... Yujin.... ahhh.”

She then stops abruptly. Your dick twitching painfully in the air. A few drops of white liquid weakly flows out of your urethra. Yujin already quickly clamped both of your hands with hers before you realize you want to stroke yourself to sprint through that finish line.

You groan, even growl painfully.

Yujin winks her “innocent” eyes, then whispers to your ear. “Do you remember what I said earlier? You are not allowed to come until I say what?”

Your brain is certainly not functioning to give an answer. Yujin then continues herself, while repositioning to your shaft.

“I said, don’t come until I say, my good puppy, come for mommy.” Then she gives a soft, gentle kiss on your dick.

“Ahh.. An Yujin!”You are ruined. You explode. You reach the climax. You squirt out strands and strands of thick, hot cum everywhere. To your tummy, to the bedsheet, to your legs and leave out marks everywhere, showing your total surrender into Yujin.

The orgasm lasted so long that your body starts to tremble violently upon your release. You hands dig into the bed to the point your joints become white. Your ears are ringing, eyes black out. Your brain feels overwhelmed by the flooding dopamine.

Meanwhile, Yujin just stares at you with a smirk while your dick wildly sprays your nectar with your face filled with nothing but lust and arousal. You feel like minutes had passed, your dick finally puts its head down. You breathe heavily, inhaling each molecule of air you can to recover from this overwhelming orgasm. It is much more intense than all of your previous jerking-off-in-your-bed type of things combined.

“Hmm, look at you and the mess you just made. How cute of a good boy you are.” Yujin keeps smirking, while scooping your cum that’s dripping all over your tummy with two fingers. Then she sticks them right into your mouth. You don’t fight back letting her fingers swirling in your mouth.

“Taste your own desires, and tell mommy how do you feel?”

You don’t respond, rather you savor every bit of your own nectar on Yujin’s fingers, sucking and licking them clean and swallow everything in one gulp.

“You made me feel like I’m in heaven. Mommy Yujin. I’ve never felt anything like that before.” You let go of a airy and cracking whisper.

“Of course you can never get something like this if you don’t talk to woman at all.” Yujin smiles, while tossing you a handful of napkins. “Clean yourself up baby boy, you are a mess right now. Geez... never expected so much cum from a nerd like you...”

You suddenly start to realize what a mess you just made because of Yujin. You then wipe the semen off of your body with napkins, while your logic and mind still yet to recover from the sensory overload. “Hurry up puppy, mommy is not done playing you yet.” Yujin hugs you from behind, fingers teasing your nipples while whispering to your ear.

Your soften length immediately feel the impact, as it gets rapidly filled up with desires, wanting more despite the merciless release just now. Yujin pulls you backwards so you’re sitting on your bed with your back touching Yujin’s full, juicy breasts while she lies her back on the headboard.

You can’t see her, but her evil whisper flows into your ear. “You are already hard again, I didn’t even touch it. Looks like you want more babe.”

“Y....Yes, Yujin, please let me.”

“Let you do what?”

“Let me..... fuck..... fuck.... you.” Your voice sounds weak, contrasting to the energy and anger when you yell “Fuck you” in the Discord channel when you play games with friends.

What comes next is dead silence. The only thing that confirms you’re not deaf is the ongoing hum of your PC Fans. Other than that, it is nothing. You can’t even hear Yujin’s breath right behind you.

Following that silence is Yujin’s swift movement. In a split of a second, she’s already repositioned herself in front of you. She then puts her palms in your shoulder and pushes you all the way back until your back hits the headboard. Yujin then climbs up and sits on top of your laps, staring down at you with a predatory gaze and a cold face.

You froze for a bit, your weak and confused gaze is soon defeated by Yujin. “Well, well, well, seems like our puppy isn’t in his place. I said you are mine tonight, so you’re not the one in charge.” She approaches you, puts her breast into your mouth.

You quickly take in her breast, sucking it gently with your hands cupping them and worship them nicely. “But mommy is kind, so I am not gonna reject you.” Yujin’s smile becomes warmer; the scary vibe had been gone in a blink of an eye. “But I have to make it VERY, VERY clear.” She lifts her body up, her pussy hovers right on top of your erected length, you can feel it. You can feel it is just an inch away, if you dare enough, you can lift your hips and it’ll go straight in and you can take the “virgin” prefix off your name.

“Please Yujin… just let me get in already…” You cannot even try to hide your anticipation.

“Reminder. It’s me fucking you instead, puppy.” Yujin smirks, while sits down all the way to the bottom of your length. Your dick is immediately being embraced by her wet, warm pussy. You already forget the orgasm you just had a couple minutes ago, that primal desire makes you groan loudly. “Mommy, fuck me… please…”

“Shit, nerd…your thing is fucking big” Yujin murmurs, while slowly lifting herself up before sitting down on you again. Your dick is already sensitive because of her juice nicely lubricates the point of contact, each time she moves, you feel like it is a vacuum attempting to suck away all the essence you have left. But you hold on tight, mouth still worships Yujin’s tits nice and slowly. You then place your hands on her insanely juicy ass and starts rubbing it. The bouncy texture is just another level, compared to when you hover your hands on the posters on the ball.

“Tell me… are you enjoying it?” Yujin whispers, while licking your ear, before giving you a gentle bite on the earlobe. You immediately feel turned on, so you suck her nipples even faster while touching her thighs and hips.

“Fuck…. I’ll take that as a yes…damn… that nerdy mouth of yours can actually do something besides answering those stupid math questions in class…mmph…” Yujin’s tone raises just a little bit, but it is enough for you to interpret it as a compliment of your mouth work.

“Ummm… mommy you taste so good, and you are so fucking tight…. I am gonna lose it.” You let out a few really obscene moans when you leave her nipples with a wet slick, hands still roaming on her flawless body.

“You like it?” Yujin dives in for a kiss, her tongue immediately crosses your lips, finds yours and swirling in your mouth like doing a waltz. You can still taste the Strawberry Soju from dinner; you greedily suck your lips to acquire more of her gorgeous scent. You don’t stop even when the kiss gets too messy that the mixture of your saliva starts sliding down your jaws.

“Look at me.” Yujin lifts your chin up, forcing you into her gaze, “From now on, you are mine. I am going to ride you senseless that you forget every one of those idols’ names.”

“Yes… mommy… please ride me.. fuck.”

“I am going to fuck you until all you know is begging me to not stop, and all you remember is my name.” Yujin continues.

“Give me.... give me all that...” You groan.

She then starts to accelerate, for each a few short and rapid ride, she mixed in a long, deep stroke that your sensitive glans gets smothered by the deepest part of her pussy, the warmest, wettest paradise. You moan even louder, vision already getting blurry from the lust and sensation.

“Fuck… I can feel it, puppy’s cock is doing its job for mommy…. Uhh…” Yujin then tickles her clit with her finger, it visibly gets pinker and wetter.

“Mmmph, it is coming….” Yujin’s ride gets even more wilder, the wet slapping sound is so obscene that your PC is protesting by turning its monitor off. The room immediately gets dimmer, only the RGB lights on the computer case and the moonlight through the curtain are left. You prefer this way though. You don’t really want Yujin to see how slutty your face is when she rides you like that. Your final bit of ego still feels ashamed if Yujin makes fun of you, although your body is honest enough to find out who it belongs to.

Yujin puts her palms on your neck, not strong enough to choke you to death, but definitely with the right amount of strength to claim authority over your body and your mind. She then applies just a little bit of pressure, while smirking evilly at you, “Baby boy, tell me, how much you wanted all this since the library.”

“Fuck…. I’ve been waiting for this moment for my entire fucking life.” Your voice cracking, but you don’t forget to sniff her breasts and draws little circles on her nipples, making her body jolt.

“I’ve never seen a submissive little toy like you, but you are doing me good. How much do you enjoy getting fucked by me?”

“Shit… Yujin… you are so fucking hot… please fuck me….ahhh” Yujin’s movement gets even more relentless when the words reach her ears. She doesn’t care if your leaking dick is sensitive at all, she just keeps riding like she is about to lose it all. Her eyes are already closed, mouth half open, seeking for your kiss and her tongue immediately finds yours.

“God… I am going to come… get your stupid dick deeper… ahh” Yujin’s grasp on your neck tightens a little bit, your hips immediately start to cooperate and thrust upwards, while Yujin still slams her pussy on yours in a desperate motion.

“Yujin… I can’t hold it anymore…. Uhh… if you keep riding me like this… shit.” Your nails dig into your bed, grabbing the final piece of support before everything collapses into her.

“You’re not coming until I do. Good boy, hold it longer for mommy.” Yujin’s voice starts to crack. You then thrust harder, matching her frantic rhythm of slamming her weight onto your shaft.

The sensory is building, but it feels too good to just let go yet. You try your best to hold on tight and resist this pleasure that you feel for the for the first time in your life. It is not the dopamine rush when you win a clutch in FPS games, but rather, you feel relieved and relaxed. Years of isolation from girls, years of desperate seeking for love but failures, they became a burden that haunts you every lonely night. When your gaming friends log off to have hell of a night with their girlfriends, you are always the one left, hopelessly ask them to stay for one more game before you inevitably become the last one left in the Discord channel.

With that being said, you hold on to Yujin like she is the savior that can drag you out of this swamp. You are too done to think about your life beyond tonight, but instead you savor this moment with Yujin. As your movement gradually speeds up, you feel like you are losing your control from the overwhelming lust.

“Mmph... Yujin, you pussy is so juicy... I’m losing it.”You groan heavily, as the pleasure from below starts to build up.

“Hmm, tell me more.” Yujin urges.

“Your butt is so thick and bouncy, and your nipples taste like honey.”

“Good boy. Do you want to come inside me?” Yujin’s hairs messy, breath already short.

“I.... I want to so badly, but I’m not using a condom.” Even at this point, your STEM brain still attempts to claim control, calculating the probability that you accidentally impregnate the hottest girl you’ve met in this university.

“Fuck condoms.... I want to feel you more. I’m on the pill, come inside me.... ah!” Yujin is getting there, you can feel her walls becoming shaky and waves of warmth completely captures every inch of your dick inside her.

“You were a good boy tonight, so I am giving your reward. Come for mommy....”

“Holy shit, I can’t hold it anymore! I... I’m going to come!” Your mind loses control over your body, your hips violently jolt.

“Come with me... holy shit.... I’m losing it!” Yujin reaches her climax, you immediately feel her nectar flowing out of her tight, warm pussy and splashes onto your twitching dick. You feel every bit of her desire dropping down to your shaft, you can’t hold it anymore.

“Fuck... I’m coming!” You burst out strands after strands of cum inside Yujin, while she moans as she feels your heat in her. Your spine is shivering, your nerves exciting and your eyes are filled nothing but desire. Yujin yanks your hair with both of the hands to keep balance, but the pure sensation from your shaft muted the pain. You let out a long, primal groan after the release that you’ve been waited for 20 years.

“Shit, that was a lot.” Yujin breathes heavily, yet to go back to the reality. She then lifts herself up from you, the thick mix of her nectar with your sperm drips from her pussy. You lie down on the bed, feeling boneless, chest going up and down rapidly.

Yujin moves herself forward, leans her head to her shoulder and whispers, “Baby boy, do you want to clean mommy up?” You oblige, placing your palms on her soft, warm waist and pulls her towards you. Yujin then sits herself down on your face, and you start your work, tongue swirling inside her, licking every drop of her nectar combined with your essence. You gently kiss her shaft, appreciating her flawless body.

“So… I just did you a big favor, you are not a virgin nerd anymore.” Yujin giggles, “Well I don’t know if you can ever fix your nerdy brain, I might need to give you more help.”

You swallow, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. “But that first part is certainly gone.” You give her a relieved smile. “Thank you so much for this… Yujin… I don’t know what else to say, it was so….”

“Unreal.”

“It is unreal indeed; I’ve never expected to not die as a virgin.” You laugh at yourself, or actually, your old self. Years of isolation and acting like you don’t care had pushed you this far, you are sincerely thankful for Yujin who came in at the right moment and took you out of your little fortress.

You keep your mouth working, cleaning the evidence of pure desire and libido off her gorgeous body. Yujin hums gently, “You know, I sometimes wonder… you are a smart kid, but why did you play silly when you first met me?”

“I… I don’t know, I was kinda… terrified.” You confess, “I was afraid that you were just gonna be another girl who plays with me then throws me away.”

“I did try to play with you, but you’re mine from now on and I don’t want my investment to fail. It’d be a good waste if I just let go of this nice body.” Yujin touches you, but not teasing, instead she is claiming you. “Come on, we smell like sweat and alcohol, we should take a bath.” She takes your hand, you stumbling after her to the bathroom, like a loyal puppy following his owner.

-

The steam fogged up the mirror, you stand right in front of the sink, staring at yourself. For the first time in years, you feel utterly real. In front of you it’s not just a guy play pretend to play cool and disguises himself with math formulas and video games. You see Yujin standing right behind you from the mirror, hair messy from the sweat. She hugs you firmly, the bouncy tits pressing your back. You don’t feel like she’s seducing you though, it is more like a protection.

“Puppy.” She hums softly.

“Is that what you are calling me from now on?” You turn your head, kisses her forehand gently.

“Aren’t you the one who screamed ‘fuck me mommy’ like 10 minutes ago?”

“I bet every man would do the same if they get rode by a hot girl like you.” You joke.

“Now you say I’m hot.”

“I always thought so since I saw you for the first time.”

“You’re only saying this because I fucked you.” Yujin smirks, before pulling you to the bathtub. You slide in, the warm water wraps around your body. Yujin sits right across you, winking to you with her big eyes.

“You know, I wasn’t sure at first .” She says.

“Sure about what?”

“If you are as boring as you look.” “And what do you think?” You start to get nervous; the old memory starts to haunt you. The moments where you get rejected by girls and they gossip about how nerdy you are behind the scenes start to retake your mind and push Yujin away. “You haven’t showed me much yet, nerd.” Yujin gets closer to you, arms on your shoulder. Her hair is damped from both of the sweat and the warm steam in the bathtub, breath still a bit unsteady, “You still have time though, the night is long and the Final tomorrow isn’t until noon.” She then smirks devilishly, rests her delicate, soft feet against your thigh.

“I…. I can’t, I came twice already.” Your face is already red because of the embarrassment, but your half soft length is honest, graduating standing up when you feel Yujin is teasing your shaft with her cute, wiggling toes. Contrasting to her stunning style and height, her feet are surprisingly small and soft, nails painted in a glossy black color.

“Hey, I never knew you have this foot fetish thing in your nerdy brain.” “No I don’t!” You protest, but Yujin has her own way to shut you up.

“Shut up puppy.” She then lifts her left foot and presses it directly on your face, your nose is rapidly full of her scent and the smell of the soap. “Puppy don’t say no to his mommy.” Yujin whispers, while forcing your mouth open with her wiggly toes. “Show mommy you are a good boy, show me how much you worship this body. Every inch of it.”

Your instinct clearly knows better than the nerdy part of your brain, so before you can even process her words, you find your lips already sucking her big toe and your tongue swirling on it desperately.

“Gotta take care of my baby boy, gotta make you mine tonight.” Yujin smirks while working on your crotch with her other foot. She gently presses your length with her elegant, high arched foot while occasionally teases your frenulum with her big toe. You let out several weak groans while sniffing and worshiping her toes as Yujin strokes your cock slowly with her other foot. You carefully suck and lick each toe, like you are eating an ice cream. You spit out each little toe and suck them back in, your saliva paints her foot with your desire.

You carefully lift her foot with both of your hands before using your tongue to work on her arch, her heels and eventually her ankles. Her skin is so soft, you finally let it go before a final long, wet slick. Yujin stretches her toes slightly, gives a quiet little hum like a compliment. Her skin is shining with your saliva all over her foot, piercing through the foggy bathroom air.

“Mmph, Yujin, you taste so fucking good. Your skin tastes like butter. So smooth.”

“I knew you have foot fetish, puppy.” Yujin smirks before switching foot, pressing her now wet and well lubricated one on your hardened dick. Your body immediately jolts as she presses your length towards your tummy, while clamping your frenulum and the intersection between the head and the base with her toes. Yujin then move her toes up and down on your shaft, with her other foot resting right beneath, occasionally giving a soft kick on your balls. You desperately need to hold on to something before you get totally lost in this pure sensation. So you beg, on a rather cracked tone, “Mommy get closer.”

Yujin then sits up and gets even closer, her bouncy ass lands right onto your laps. Your lung forgets to get air as she places your already leaking dick right between her juicy thighs. “Shit... Yujin, you feel so fucking good. I’m losing the fucking control...” you gasp while automatically positions your hand onto her full, swollen tits.

“I know I’m hot.” Yujin smirks, starting to squeeze your length a bit harder, “How does it feel to get milked by mommy’s legs?”

“Mmph... fuck... it feels amazing.” You groan. “Damn right. Now let me empty your nerdy balls entirely....” Yujin squeezes your dick even faster, with your length being submerged to her thick juicy thighs, only the tip is visible. “You are mine, puppy. I want you to be mine and mine only. Not those idols who won’t ever know your name.”

“Ugh...Yujin, I’m all yours. Fuck.”

“Good boy, now empty yourself on mommy’s legs.” Yujin gives a few final strokes, before completely smothering your dick with her thighs. She dives in for your lips, your tongues all tangled together.

“Oh fuck. I’m coming! Yujin, you feel so good...” Your final defense had been stripped away, waves of waves of cum squirting through her legs before quickly disappear into the bathtub.

“That was impressive. Three times a night already? You got the potential boy.” Yujin smiles, then splashes water playfully onto your body and her tummy, washing off the remaining essence of yours like how she is trying to wash off everyone but her in your brain.

But you know that’s working.

After Yujin carefully washes both of you with the soap, cleaning off any evidence of the crazy night, she wraps you around right next to her with your towel. “Dry it up baby boy, we actually need some fucking rest before the test. I don’t want you to stare at the paper and think about me. Although you definitely will.”

“Hard to say I won’t. Fuck. Yujin, you’re perfect.” Your breath still shaky, recovering from the sensory overload just now.

“I’m indeed. Now let’s sleep. I’ll take that pillow and blanket. You use whatever you like.” Yujin pulls you towards the bed.

“Why not we both use the blanket?” You smirk; with relief and a sense of comfort you’ve never experienced before.

“Your lucky day, mister.” Yujin jokes, before shoving you onto the bed, she then climbs up and cuddles you from behind. Warmth. Peace. Protection.

-

Silence. But obviously none of you can sleep

“Yujin?” You turn around, she is still hugging you, your chest and hers are just inches away.

“Hm? What’s up?” Yujin rubs her eyes with the back of her hands – no more makeups but her bareface is just as stunning.

“Why… why me?” The scenes of Yujin staring at you in class while you answer the questions from the professor; when she swapped your cup with hers in the BBQ; when she pushed you against the wall and took your first kiss; and eventually – when she rode you like she’s losing it all. Now when all those were settled, you start to wonder WHY.

“What do you mean?” She seems to be a bit confused, tilting her head, but she doesn’t loosen her cuddle on you.

“Why me? There are many guys out there…” You swallow, the frantic lust fades. You enjoyed the perfect night of your life so far with Yujin, but you are SO curious, as you started to realize you don’t want this girl in front of you to leave after tonight. “I ain’t the hottest guy, I look silly… I don’t have any experience…You could’ve asked any other guys on this campus, and I doubt if any of them would reject you.” You voice gets lower.

“But that’s just what I want, nerd.” Yujin smiles, like she knows exactly what you are thinking. “I’m so done dealing with the guys who THINK they know what they’re doing. They show off, they perform in front of everyone. But because of that, they don’t treat relationships seriously. You? You are different. I can someone is hiding behind that nerdy mask of yours.”

“You pretend you don’t care about relationships just because you’re afraid to get hurt. I can tell you’ve been starving to have someone see through your disguise and takes good care of you.” Yujin continues, while gently brushes your hair. “That made me curious, why did you hide?”

She reads you like a book. For the first time, you feel like being in your dorm room at night isn’t a symbol of loneliness. “Yujin… I don’t know. I thought I knew everything, I thought I am the master in romance.” You sigh, “but turns out I am NOTHING. I had no charisma at all, rejected by every girl I asked for prom within one week.”

“And you never talked to any girls since?”

“Not until today. I wanted to just grab my backpack and go away in the library.” You confess.

“Then you stayed because I am too hot?” Yujin teases, just slightly eases the vibe.

“No… I stayed because I was terrified. I didn’t know what to do but to obey.”

Yujin cups your face, her gaze directly pierces through yours, like a claim of authority over you. “But it isn’t too bad submitting yourself to me, huh?”

“It… it feels weird, but in a good way. I had fun tonight.”

“Just fun?” She pulls your head closer.

“More than fun, Yujin. You made me feel like… I was alive.” You confess, realizing how empty your soul was until today and how silly it sounds to stare right into your dorm wall full with posters because you don’t dare to talk to girls.

“Good. Because we have all the time in the world. You’re not going back to your little bubble and pretend you don’t need to be touched, don’t need to be taken care off, don’t need company. Are you?” Yujin then plants a gentle kiss on your forehead, while cuddles herself even closer to you. Her warmth and scent never existed in this room before, yet you don’t want any of them to ever go away.

“Absolutely not, I need you Yujin… Please be with me.” You confess, having someone hugging you in the middle of a lonely night is exponentially more relaxing and comforting compared to the times when you drooling to your limited edition Kpop photo cards.

“Mommy is with you, but don’t ever forget who you belong to. You’re all mine.” She smirks, before releasing you from her hug.

“All yours Yujin. Th…thank you, really. Have a sweet dream.” You let go of a sigh of relief, relaxing your tensed body.

“You too puppy.”

- The alarm goes off in the most annoying fashion, in the middle of a scene when Yujin sucks you off with her full, juicy lips. For a moment, you start to wonder if everything was just a fever dream because of the Soju last dinner. You wonder if what you remembered was actually what happened as you find yourself to be the only person on your bed.

But the clarification comes just in time, Yujin is already by your desk, putting on her makeups in your oversized hoodies – bottomless. The fabric is barely enough to cover her seducing thighs, her outfits from yesterday is still lying on your gaming chair. You swallow, a bit stunned from the scene right in front of you.

“Morning puppy, glad you can still wake up after three times last night.” Yujin giggles.

Your face immediate turns red as her words reminding you how slutty and desperate you were when you gave all yourself to Yujin, letting her use you as she wished.

“Don’t tease me anymore, Yujin. We literally have a Final in an hour.” You protest.

“And we spent the entire last night fucking.” She says, while putting her lipstick on, cherry red.

You try to take your notebook out from the drawers, only for Yujin to slap your arms away playfully. “Forget about the notes, forget that 4.0 GPA. I want you to only remember me. I want you to replay our scenes last night when you stare the exam paper.” She then stands up, undresses herself right in front of you. Your hoodie falls to the ground and Yujin is only in her lingerie. You swallow, trying your best to not get seduced in a moment like this, not before a final exam. But obviously you failed, eyes locked in on Yujin’s flawless body and you swallow again, hard.

“Hmm, still staring?” Yujin grabs your collar and pulls you close, gives you a firm kiss. Your lips then get dyed by her red lipstick, you follow your instinct, asking for more. But Yujin puts her index finger on your lips, mouthing “not now”.

“It’s a teaser, nerd. Wait until the exam is done and we have all the time in the world.” Yujin then starts to put her clothes back on, her own outfit. White tank top, leather jacket, a pair of tight, navy-blue jeans. “I was just messing with you; you’d better go and pass that exam. Don’t be a loser and fail otherwise it’ll make my taste on man look bad, would you?” Yujin smirks, while grabbing her purse from your gaming chair, nodding at the door.

You then get yourself ready and walk out of the room with her. It feels less weird this time when Yujin grabs your hand and fingers interlock with yours. You enjoy her soft skin and her deadly scent, the elevator ride was dead silent, but this time it is not because of it is awkward. It is because you already told Yujin everything she needed to know.

The weather outside is still cold, but Yujin’s fingers didn’t just slide in yours: it is a statement that forces your hand to mold to hers to the point where there is no air between your palms. As you walk out of the dorm building, you start to see occasional fellow students passing by, with some familiar faces from your classes. Each time you see them murmur to each other, you can’t control yourself to think if they are gossiping about you. Something like “isn’t that the nerd from our classes? How the fuck he gets to hold Yujin’s hand like this?” or “Damn! Did this guy pay her a fortune to be his one-day-girlfriend type of shit? He fucking looks like someone who’ll die before dating a woman”.

But Yujin knows exactly what you are thinking, each time when your eyes move from her to the pedestrians, she would hold your hand even firmer. It is not just walking. It is a parade. It is a parade that Yujin shows the entire campus her precious trophy. “Thinking about what people might say about you?” She whispers.

“Y…yes, this feels unreal. Never expected to walk like this in the public, not with my headphones on and with my hands being held by a girl like you.” Your lips tremble.

“Still try to play it cool huh? Try to put that cold, nerdy mask of yours on? Did you forget how you scream my name last night?” Yujin teases, while caressing your hand with hers.

“Don’t say it in the public, Yujin. People can hear us!” Your cheek turns pink.

“Then what? I am letting them all know that this nerd is mine and mine alone. I don’t give a shit what they think.” Yujin slaps your back gently, and you all finally approach the lecture hall. The tall, 3 stories building is like a statue, staring down at everyone passing by like it is making a statement of “you shall not pass”. Well, if you actually fail your Final, passing isn’t possible anyways. Yujin and you walk towards the wall where the seating chart is posted, you’re at the second to the last row, whereas Yujin is two rows in front of you, on your right.

You find this arrangement perfectly working, if Yujin gets too close? You’re doomed. There is no way to focus giving her deadly alluring scent and she’s definitely going to tease you to a point where you’d abandon your final exam to jerk yourself off in the bathroom. You decide to chug another can of Celsius before the final battle for the quarter, so you start to pace towards the back of the building where the vending machines are located.

You think Yujin already went inside of the room, as she waved you goodbye with a big, warm smile. The cute dimples on her gorgeous face are the last thing you’ll remember until the exam ends, not those stupid theorems that you spent hours mastering. Not anymore. So, you take out your wallet, counting how many $1 bills you have left to feed to the overpriced caffeine.

You anticipate the sound of your good friend Celsius rolling down the ramp of the vending machine, but what goes into your year is a steady rhythm of footsteps, of someone’s shoes tapping the ground. Might just be another fellow victim of caffeine addiction that needs to get their dose before the final, you think.

But then it is that familiar scent, aggressively catching your nose, it can’t be anyone else. As much you try your best to play it cool out in the public, you cannot hide your curiosity of finding out why Yujin still isn’t in the exam room yet. So you turn around.

“Yu…” You don’t get to finish, she shoves you onto the wall with such a force that your skinny body cannot resist, well you wouldn’t anyway. “Hmm, I figured out that I forgot something last night and I might as well just do it right now. Yujin winks at you devilishly, with a playful smirk on her face.

“W…what?” You are confused.

“Close your eyes, baby boy.” Yujin hums.

You obey, and feel surprised in your mind that Yujin would do something this romantic like a farewell kiss to you. Well, that’s what you think. You feel her getting closer, you can smell it, you can feel it. Your lips half parted, waiting for hers to catch yours. You wait, but the gentle kiss of hers never arrived.

Instead, you feel warmth on your neck, right at the place where it connects with your collarbone. Yujin gives you a kiss there, soft at first, but you immediately feel a sting as she bites you with her teeth suddenly after a suck.

“Ouch!” You gasp, eyes wide open. But there is no way for you to run as your back is already at the wall. You take a quick glance on your neck, a pink blossom with Yujin’s cherry red lipstick mark on your skin. She just planted a hickey on you.

“NO! That’s so embarrassing! You try to pull your collar up, only for Yujin to slap you hands off.

“Don’t you dare to hide it!” Yujin laughs, while staring right into the mark she left on you like an artist admiring her own work. That’s still not enough for her, Yujin decides to drag your collar even lower, making sure the full blossom is well displayed on your neck.

“Good. Now let’s go and show them who you belong to.” Yujin grabs the Celsius that had been witnessing the scene at the exit of the vending machine, pops it open and takes a big gulp.

-

When Yujin and you enter the lecture hall, the proctor already started to hand out the exam. You quickly find your seat and put your stuff down, Yujin is in front of you, sipping the Celsius that you involuntarily gave her. Her hair is a bit messy from the winter wind, but just as stunning as she always is. You look at her, your finger hovering on the mark she just left on you. You can feel her warmth on your skin.

Yujin then turns back to check the clock hanging on the back of the lecture hall, so “naturally” that your intentional look somewhere else to avoid being fall into her little trap. But you know that her gaze is locked on your body, so you quickly turn back towards her. Yujin sees you, then she looks down on her own shoulder like a reminder of the hickey on yours. She picks up the Celsius with two fingers, takes a slow and deliberate sip with her full, juicy lips before mouthing a big “mwah” to you.

The exam then begins. Those familiar Greek letters, those abstract operators no longer feel familiar. First problem is about some Discrete Fourier Transform; you stare at the Greek letter omega (ω). But the double-curve of the character on the page didn't look like a mathematical constant. It looked like the bruise blooming on your collarbone. It was the symbol of a cycle you couldn't break—the way Yujin pulled you in, marked your as hers, and left you spinning. You try to calculate the value, but the only answer you could remember was the way your breath hitched when Yujin asked you who you belong to. Fine. You skip this problem for now.

Second page is about computing an Eigenspace for a matrix. The exact topic that you tutored Yujin in the library yesterday. But at this moment you don’t give a damn about the Av = λv bullshit anymore. Because that lambda λ just looks like Yujin last night so much: it looks exactly like her when she rode you on your bed frantically, hands pressing down your chest for balance. By the time you compute the limit of a Fourier series, the infinity symbol ∞looks like nothing else but Yujin’s beautifully shaped breasts. You realize you are screwed, but in the best way you can. You realize your mind has nothing left but Yujin and she know exactly that.

“Hey, you! Eyes on your own paper.” The professor shouts while pacing around the hall. Your body jolt immediately, wondering if he caught you staring at Yujin’s back like a freak. You swallow hard, trying to put your focus back on the papers, but the professor walks closer to you.

“What’s up with you today, man?” The professor whispers your name, laying down close to you. “You don’t seem to be focusing, you should know this better than others in this class. Don’t disappoint me, ok?” But then, you are certain that you see his eyes flickers onto your neck. Your face is now flushed red in a blink of an eye. Fortunately, he just walked away to answer another student’s question.

You can already imagine the chitchats, the whispers, the gossips. It is going to be the total collapse of your smart kid character. Your legs nervously shake is the most visible evidence of your own “unmaking.” You feel like the lecture hall gets filled with the sound of shifting fabric, pens stopping, and the low-frequency vibration of whispers. “Is that…?” “No way, with him?” “Look at his neck.” The judgment feels heavy, like a physical weight pressing you into the seat. You feel like a fraud, like you are being interrogated to answer how a girl like Yujin ended up leaving her mark on a nerd like yourself.

Circling the final answer with your trembling hand, your sweet GPA is probably slipping through your finger as your social anxiety reaches its peak. Just as you are read to fold by pulling up of hood of your hoodie, Yujin suddenly, “accidentally” drops her pen. As she leans down to retrieve it, she turns her upper body back, just enough to give you a piercing gaze like a reminder. Her eyes seem to say, “You are mine, why do you care about others?”

Suddenly you realize those non-existing whispers actually aren’t insults and embarrassment anymore, instead they sound like an envy. Let them keep wondering how the nerd they ignored and looked down is the only who is allowed to feel the heat of Yujin’s touch. The anxiety and fear had been replaced with an intoxicating sense of belonging: you belong to the most gorgeous girl on this campus, and for the first time of your life, you want everyone to know it.

The difficult battle against the final exam (well, the most difficult part is to have the self-discipline and not get distracted by Yujin) lasts for about an hour extra, then you’re finally done. The normal habit of doublechecking your answer for at least three times is gone. Your heart is already a frantic drum that tries to escape your ribs. You turn in your paper in a rush like your life is depending on it because you can see Yujin is packing up her stuff as well.

You pretend to be on your phone and totally not care about who is the next person that walks out of the lecture hall after you. But you sniff, trying desperately to search for the deadly scent of Yujin’s perfume. You take a quick peek, praying that the next thing you see is Yujin’s leather jacket that comes out of the double-door. Finally, after about a century of waiting, you see that familiar outfit again. Yujin walks out of the hall with her usual steady rhythms of her boots tapping the concrete floor, jacket taken off and hanging on her shoulder. She doesn’t look like someone who “survived” the final exam, but someone who thrived on it.

“Hmm, puppy, you are done already?” She quickly closes the distance between you, as you lean on the pillar right outside of the lecture hall. Yujin keeps getting closer, trapping you against the pillar. She doesn’t care about the crowd, nor the lifeless students storming out of the building. She then leans in close, the alluring mix of her perfume and your own body wash (yes, you guys took a bath together last night) reminds you of your hunger and desperation.

“You look a bit…. Frustrated? Did the exam not go in your favor, baby boy?” Yujin smirks with her iconic dimples on her face.

“You know it wouldn’t.” You murmur, tone sounding so thin and weak even to your own ears. You stare right in her eyes, now behind the grey contact lenses again. The hunger and desire you tried your absolute best to suppress during the exam finally spills over. You’re not just looking at Yujin; you are devouring her. Of course she notices, she hovers her palm right on the tent of your pants. “Hmm, look at you puppy. You don’t seem to care about her grade anymore, are you? You are thinking when we are heading back to your dorm and have the door locked.” She leans in, lips touching your ear. “Then… you are thinking how I’m going to shove you on to the bed and fuck you senseless, right?”

“Y..yes, Yujin. I already missed it so much, I couldn’t stop thinking about it.” Your body jolts as she leaves a kiss on your lobe while pulling herself back.

“But you know what? I might need to go back to my own room to pack up stuff for the break. Oh! And I also haven’t had lunch yet. And how about we go on a walk around the campus this afternoon? My good boy had been waiting patiently, and you for sure don’t mind to wait a bit longer, right?” Yujin teases, but that was it. The threads snapped.

“Please….” You whispered, fingers trying to grip the edge of her tank top as Yujin pretends to start leaving. You don’t care about the students around; you don’t care about your dignity. “Yujin, I can’t… I need you so bad. I’ll do anything for you later, just let’s go back to my dorm right now, pretty please?”

Yujin then turns back, her smirk widening to something that’s pure predatory. She sees your voice cracking and your pupils dilating. “Anything?” She echoed with mischief in her voice. Then Yujin grabs your hand and begins to walk towards the dorm buildings. “Well… since my puppy asked me this desperately, I suppose I shouldn’t keep you waiting like that. But before that, I have a question for you.”

“Yes Yujin, anything.”

“You aren’t going home this winter break, are you?”

“Not really because I am not local… why?” You start to realize something is going on.

“Good, because I am moving in your dorm for the break. My lease is expiring at the end of the year.” Yujin smiles, but it doesn’t sound like she is asking you to do her a favor, instead she is giving you a reward for “bothering” you.

“God….. I can see where this is going.” You murmur, but anticipation overcomes the confusion.

“Exactly. That’s why I told you we have a lot of time to do the stuff.” Yujin smiles. “So, are you still want it right now or are you helping me move in? Because once we are behind that locked door, you aren’t gonna beg me for mercy.”

“Shit…” You sigh, with the winter breeze brushing your face. The usual sense of loneliness and desperation when the Winter Break approaches is gone. What is left is the pure will to savor every inch of Yujin, or rather get savored by Yujin. Doesn’t really matter to you that much though.

God knows what the upcoming month is going to be like, but for the first time ever, you aren’t afraid of being lonely anymore.

-The End-