TwistingRowlet

Gymnast: *double double on floor* FIG: H Gymnast: *double double off the beam* FIG: H Everyone: Why? FIG: Dunno.

Gymnast: *wobbles on beam and apparently is off the beam but somehow one molecule of her body is still on the apparatus and saves it* Judge: “Yuck, -0,5 balance check plus -0,3 for the form plus -0,3 artistry for lack of flow, being disconnected and being a gymnast on beam during the 2017 quad.”

Gymnast: *2 and 3/4 twist into ankle destruction into front tuck but stil facing the wrong way* Judge: “Totally rotated, indeed”.

Gymnast: *is chinese* Judge: “Mandatory -0,3 for the nationality”.

Gymnast: *Does front attitude turn* Rhytmic gymnasts watching: *Have mass seazures*

No one: Literally no one: FIG: “Let’s limit the number of teams at Worlds and kill the smaller federations!”

Russian gymnastics fan: “I’m so excited for Worlds!” Someone: “It’s a pre-olympic year”. *PTSD enters the chat*

Gymnast: *is a prodigy at age 11*   Gymnast: *is overworked from age 13* Gymnast: *is worn out at age 15* Gymnast: *retires at age 17* Everyone: How?! O:

No one: Literally no one: FIG: “Let’s limit the number of gymnasts each federation can bring at post-olympic Worlds to three!”

Simone: *does Amanar* Tim: “Ooooh man, I bet she could do a quintulle twisting yurchenko right now if she wanted!” Simone: *does triple double* Tim: “Ooooh man, she is so powerful she could do the octuple twisting quadruple back!”

Japanese gymnast: “I’m one of the favourites to medal at worlds!” Japanese federation: “You can’t go. You weren’t ready 10 months ago. You are literally the worst.”

No one: Literally no one: FIG: “Let’s do 4 people teams for Olympics! That’s a great idea.”

FIG: "So, this is how the olympic qualification process works: first you have... then you have... but don’t forget about... and there is this exception... and also in case of tie-break... and not less important is... and in the end you have... Questions?“ Normal person: “Sorry, could you repeat in English, please?”    

Gymnast: “Coach, how can I increase my D-Score on floor without beeing one of the top5 floor worker in the world?” Coach: “You don’t.” Gymnast: “But... there must be something I can do!” Coach: “What about you throw three or four D leaps that you won’t ever rotate in your lifetime?” Gymnast: “...not a good idea!” Coach: “Then do a couple H skills which could probably kill you.” Gymnast: “...maybe not.” Coach: “So what about doing crazy connections that could send you to Mars if you mistime your jumps for 0,1 CV?” Gymnast: “...not today, not tomorrow.” Coach: “See? Not possible. Now go back to beam and do your ring jumps which would up your D score from 5 to 6,5 even though you have a 0,01% chance to get full credit.”

FIG: *Brings open-ended code of points in 2006 but can’t balance the scores between the four events* *13 years later* FIG: *Changed the code 4 times but still can’t balance the scores between the four events”

Judge on vault: “What a beautiful vault. I will give you 9,3 E score for a total of 15,100!” Judge on bars: “A marvelous exercise with beatiful connections and precise pirouettes. 8,5 E score for a total of 14,700.″ Judges on floor and beam: “13,700.” Someone: “Did she fall?” Judge: “No. Actually her routines were some of the best I’ve seen all day!” Someone: “But... the scores...” Judge: “What. She got 7,999999 E score on both floor and beam!” Someone: “Is it so hard to give 8,0+ E scores on beam and floor?” Judge: “Are you kidding me? SHE PAUSED ON BEAM TO BREATHE SEVERAL TIMES, AND SHE DARED TO ADJUST HERSELF INTO THE CORNER ON FLOOR, MANDATORY DEDUCTIONS YOU KNOW?”

Gymnast in 2017: “I’m ready for worlds!” Montrehell: “I’m gonna end these gymnasts whole carreers.”

Oleg Vernaiev: “I only have two healthy pieces of body left... help.” Federation: “We ain’t give you no money” Oleg: “I’M READY FOR ALL THE COMPETITIONS AND WORLD CUPS, YES I AM. Just wait ‘till I’m all taped up”

Aliya Mustafina:  “I only have two healthy pieces of body left... help.” Valentina Rodionenko: “Come one, take Oleg as an example and come to worlds.” Aliya: “No.” Valentina: “Retired.”

Romania as a whole: “I only have two healthy pieces of body left... help.” Federation: *calls Ponor* “Let’s negotiate.”

Gymnast: *literally the worst vault ever, but it's a difficult vault* Judges: 8,733 E score

Gymnast: *literally the best yurchenko 1/1* Judges: 8,966 E score

Gymnast: *slightly low vault* Judges: -0,5 lack of height

Gymnast: *starfish legs* Judges: *cannot see sh*t because of perpendicular point of view* -0,1 leg separation, maybe?

Gymnast: *one wobble and one pause on beam* Judges: 6,900 E score

Gymnast: *breaths on beam* Judges: pause deduction Gymnast: *moves while breathing on beam* Judges: adjustment deduction Gymnast: *rushes everything and doesn't breath* Judges: artistry deduction

Gymnast: *walks under the low bar* Judges: 0,5 neutral deduction Gymnast: *is shook* Judges: “your composition is sh*t”

Gymnast: *risks life doing somersaults and twists on floor for 90 seconds while trying to sell the routine* Judges: 5,0 D score

Gymnast: *literally hugging the beam by falling from a wolf turn* Judges: *cannot deduct more than 0,3 because of FIG logic*

Gymnast: *double front half turn on floor* Judges: F Gymnast: *arabian double front half turn on floor* Judges: E Everyone: “why?” FIG: “dunno”

Male gymnast: *bad vault* Judges: 9,266 E score

Male gymnast: *good vault* Judges: 9,366 E score

Male gymnast: *lands with feet apart* Judges: -0,1 Male gymnast: *heel clap* Judges: “Oh, nevermind”

Gymnast: *does new skill* Kim: “here it is, the Kim XIII”

Everyone: Aliya FIG: Aliia

Romania: *asks help* Federation: “Lazy”