☆ there’s something so domestic about your relationship dynamic after dark. when the clock strikes twelve, and the barracks have gone quiet, levi still stirs in his office, sipping on his nth cup of black tea while he stares into the mountain of paperwork piled high on his desk.
levi ackerman doesn’t sleep. unfortunately for him, neither do you.
every night without fail, that knock on his door—the gentle, yet stern, rap of your knuckles against wood—serves to pull him back to reality. “name and business,” levi demands, as if he didn’t know who resided on the other side of the damn door.
“it’s me,” you call, a hint of exhaustion leaking through your words.
levi gives the air a sniff, rubbing his eyes with his thumb and forefinger before allowing you to join him. “enter, and be quiet about it.”
it was a routine the two of you had picked up many months ago—a terrible habit of staying up until sunrise, sharing tea and swapping stories. you claim you only come back each night because levi’s tea was addicting, but perhaps it’s both the tea at all, rather the sound of his voice that seems to draw you in.
there was something about seeing your fellow captain so late in the night. in the comfort of his own familiar study, captain ackerman let himself loosen from his perpetual, uptight persona. he was a real person, not just some cold-blooded captain barking orders.
“can’t sleep,” you drawl, letting yourself fall to the pristine sofa in levi’s office with a huff. “again.”
levi stands from his desk, moving over to the miniature tea kettle he keeps. “oh, you mean you’re not sleep walking right now?” he asks with a rare, playful lilt to his tone as he begins to expertly steep a cup of tea for you.
“nope. i’m awake, unfortunately.”
levi joins you on the couch, setting your mug on the coffee table—the same mug you always used every-time you came over. levi always had it washed and ready just in case you decided to show up.
a beat of silence passes, somehow comforting and awkward at the same time. levi watches with sharp eyes as you take a sip, sighing at the exquisite taste. more silence. levi is the one to speak up eventually, shifting his eyes to focus on the floor. “we’ve gotta stop doing this.”
you finish your gulp, swallowing down the warm liquid. it soothes the ache in your throat from yelling at the trainees all day. “stop doing what?”
he sucks his teeth. “this. our nightly rituals. they’re anything but professional.”
you exhaled in bitter disappointment, leaning forward to place your half-empty mug back on the coffee table. levi wanted to criticize the lack of coaster, but was cut off by your voice. “you don’t mean that,” you said quietly, eyebrows furrowed. he wouldn’t look at you.
“i do. this isn’t healthy.”
you grimace, pinching the bridge of your nose. “you know what else is unhealthy? losing people. i’ve— we’ve both lost so much, levi. that shit fucks with you.”
grey eyes snap towards you, angled and angry. “you think i don’t know that?”
“i know you know that.” you paused, licking your lips. “i don’t care if this is unprofessional. i don’t care if it’s doing more harm than good. i want you, levi. you make me feel something other than misery, even if it’s just for a few hours each night.” your eyes flitted between his, searching for any tells that he feels the same. “please don’t take this away from me.”
levi leaned in, invading your proximity. his breath fanned over your lips with each scolding word. “you can’t replace pain with pleasure forever, y/n.”
you pressed a gentle palm against his cheek, thumb gliding under the soft pad of levi’s under eye, stained purple from his lack of sleep. “i don’t know how else to cope,” you admit.
truthfully, levi didn’t know either. he found himself growing too dependent on your filthy little arrangement—so much so, that he began to play out scenarios in his head. what if he lost you next? who would he find comfort in if not you?
“i’m afraid i won’t be able to live without you,” levi confesses, a light pink dusting over his pallor. he looks so small, so vulnerable under your hands. “where else am i supposed to bury my sorrows if not in between your legs? you’ve become my lifeline, and i fucking hate it.”
“you need me,” you say softly, breathing against his lips. his eyes fluttered shut, expecting a kiss, only for you to lean past his willing lips, halting near his ear. “you need me to feel alive, just like i need you. say it.”
his hands snaked around your waist, curling into the frayed t-shirt draped over your figure. levi’s face found sanctuary against your neck, pressing open-mouth kisses along your pulse like it was his job. “i need you, y/n.”
satisfied, you pulled back, grabbing a chunk of raven hair and guiding his lips against yours. it was rough, the kiss held nothing but passion and want. his tongue shoved itself inside your mouth with no hesitation, just desperate to lap up your familiarity.
this is what levi needs to feel human again. he needs your hands on his body, touching and rubbing and—
“fuck,” he huffs, gasping quietly when you lift yourself and plant that ass of yours into his lap. instinctively, levi’s hands burn against your thighs.
“take your dick out,” you demand. he falls weak to your every word, nodding dumbly before kissing you again. between your writhing bodies, levi is fumbling with his belt. he never bothered to change into pajamas.
levi retracts, breaking the intense make-out session to spit into his hand before bringing it down to lather his cock. he strokes himself, lips parted in a silent moan against your own. “sit on it,” he mumbles, almost inaudible, but you are able to catch it. “please.”
how could you possibly say no? you made quick work of shedding your pants, not even bothering to shuck off your panties, instead just thumbing them over to the side. levi held himself in a rough grip, guiding his slick tip to slip over your hole. you both hissed in unison, gasping into each other’s mouths as he pushed inside.
“you better not fuckin’ leave me,” levi slurred, his voice shaking with emotion as you sit all the way down on his cock. he holds you like a vice, chest to chest as he talks directly against your ear lobe. “better not fucking die.”
“yeah? you too,” you reply through ragged pants of air, giving little jumps against his lap. his hands slip up your shirt, clawing down the flesh of your back as you begin to bounce on his dick.
this was exactly the kind of therapy you both needed. so lost in the pleasure, you were able to disconnect from your shitty lives and just live for each other.
“shit,” levi trembled beneath the weight of your ass. those steely eyes were rolling back, his toes curling from the way you ground against him. “make me forget, y/n. i don’t… i don’t want to think.”
he looked fucking delicious, all whiny and sweaty underneath you like that. you wished that the circumstances were better; maybe in another life, you two could be more than just secret fuck buddies who use each other’s bodies to make the traumatic memories go away. maybe in another life, you two could have a genuine relationship. maybe…
“just think about me,” you whisper, groaning. “think about us.”
his eyes peeled open, just enough to peer into yours. they held so much feeling—glassy in a way you’d never seen from the captain. he was lost in the moment, lips parted, words perched on his sharp tongue.
“i… i—fuck—” i love you, y/n. “i’m gonna f… finish…”
you two came together, holding eachother impossibly close while the orgasm of a lifetime wracked through your spine. levi mewled, sinking his teeth into your jugular to keep his voice down.
the afterglow was short lived. the sun had already risen, peeking golden light through the slits of the blinds. you slumped into levi’s heaving, sweaty chest, not eager to start the day. you didn’t want to fight anymore. a life of death and war wasn’t a proper life at all.
“training starts soon,” levi mumbled.
“we’d better get decent.”
“yeah.” your voice cracked.
here’s to another day of useless suffering. you’d only hope that levi would be waiting for you with open arms once the sun sets.
