DIF FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE

Awwww shit Le back up in this thing!!! So far …. The top 3 teams have been pretty gay … so are teams 5-10 … don’t know what it is but the gayness is unbearable. WEEK 6 in the books … Power Rankings .. Let’s Go!

  1.  Foster AustrArian for Queer | 5-1-0 | W5 | 665.00 pts

Was there a more thorough and complete beatdown this week than the one Foster put on the Joon-Tang Pies? There wasnt a single point throughout the weekend where Francis trailed the Jooners. 30 for Jordy and 25 for AJ made up for the 49ers D giving you nothing. The clear favorite in the league is steamrolling after his opening loss. Someone order a Hundoburger, Plain, with cheese?

  2.  Can't Stop Won't Stop | 4-2-0 | L1 | 594.00 pts

LMAO. Dude ... you lost by 1 point. HAHAHAHAHAAHA ..... AHHAHHHAHAHAH.  Now that was a knee slapper. If only one half of your gay ass tandem (Run DMC) didnt fumble ... you'd have won this game. Don't worry though, you got RG3 and hes been beastly. A 1 point loss didn't justify moving you down a spot ... you still hold the #2 spot in the rankings ... but daaaamn thats funny!  Mr. "My only loss came from the top team in league" .... sit down. No one wants to hear from the women in the building anymore.

  3.  Sticky Banditz | 4-2-0 | W1 | 577.00 pts

Close win but the point differential means you didn't leapfrog Princess. Your team sucks and I dont feel like saying much about them.  You have no business being 4 and 2. Naaah. Jk … Good win. Eric Decker pulled it out in the end for you. Next up, Lexington Steelers.

  4.  Wiggums Wise-Guys | 3-3-0 | L1 | 536.00 pts

Shit! Le, get it together!.  That was a terrible performance.  It's bad enough to score only 46 points ... but to lose to the Bumblebee Tunas too????? They're garbage.  Got some work to do. Trade Everybody!!!!! ... Not all is bad, 40 points and one game off the lead in Division 2.

  5. 4th and Drunk | 3-3-0 | W1 | 519.00 pts

4th and Drunk??? more like 4th and mediocre!! ... am I right!?! ... ... no? fine. But check out your results for the season: Loss-Win-Loss-Win-Loss-Win. Doubt you'll keep this up the entire season, somewhere down the line you'll win 2 ....... and then lose 2.  Have fun being 7-7. LOL.

  6.  1st and Bone | 3-3-0 | L2 | 512.00 pts

If it wasn't for the Discount Double Check, this shitathon woulda been a diarrheathon. Skittles and Westley Powell did nothing for you. Pierre Garcon?? ... shoulda just kept him on the bench.  It's cool tho, not like anyone expected you to be any good anyway so being 3-3 at this point aint bad. Pat yourself on the back for exceeding everyone’s expectation. LOL JK.

  7. Bumblebee Tunas | 3-3-0 | W1 | 500.00 pts

Well, well, well, if it isn't the second lowest scoring team in the league ... the Bumblebee Raiders. 88 points this week means you get to 500 points on the season. Good job bro. Not really. but good job.

  8. Lexington Steelers | 2-4-0 | W1 | 551.00 pts

Finally your team explodes for a 111 points. Ray Rice, Deziree, and JMAC went OFF.  Shit ... even your bench went off.  Congrats on the first week your team didn't look like a PeeWee football squad.  Don't get too excited tho. You're still 2-4. Just barely out of the Gruesome Twosome. Hundoburger, hold the mayo.

  9. LETS FIGHTING LOVE | 2-4-0 | L1 | 464.00 pts

I seriously want to thank you for scoring 45 points this week and making me not feel so bad about my 46 points.  Where do I begin??? Percy Harvin is your only starter with double digits.  Your bench (including Mojo on BYE) scored more than your starters. Rivers sucks. Ridley sucks. Lloyd has always sucked. Eagles D suck.  Defending champs better get it together before even Lon passes you on the power rankings.

  10. 1-4 | 1-5-0 | L1 | 552.00 pts

Lon ....  Do yourself a favor and change your name to 1-13 already so you dont have to continue to keep changing it every week. Gruesome Lonesome. #tears :*[ … Hundoburger Jr.

  Just when we think that the winners and losers, haves and have-nots will begin to separate … everything gets a little more confusing … 1 team at 5-1, 2 at 4-2, and 4 at 3-3.  Everyone's Almost Everyone's (Lon) got a shot ... Good luck on the rest of the season ladies!

Let’s keep it real, bro. Who the fuck do I gotta text to get some decent power rankings?

It’s week 5 -- time to separate the boys from the men, the game changers from the name changers.  Many of us believed we drafted the right tandems prior to the season, only to be left with a losing record so far.  (Dayum!)  And others finally discovered what it’s like to win a game.  By now, it’s becoming clear to see who are the ones making it happen, the ones watching it happen, and the ones wondering what happened.  So let’s get to it!

1.  Foster AustrArian for Beer | 4-1-0 | W4 | 550.00 pts

SQUAD UP!  Posted at the number one spot all season so far, and rightfully so.  Of course, having the first pick in the draft helps too.  But a few savvy picks in the late rounds seem to have paid off (particularly Dalton & Richardson).  Arian Foster definitely saved your team on Monday Night, racking in 22 points.  (Enjoy it while it lasts because I’m gunning for that number one spot.)  This team has solid players at each position, and by the looks of the DIFFF, it’s almost a cakewalk to the playoffs. Winning the whole thing, however, is a different story.

2.  Can’t Stop Won’t Stop | 4-1-0 | W2 | 506.00 pts

You know, I’d hate to make it look like a conflict of interest by ranking myself second, but let’s face it, my only loss came from to the top team in the league (in a game that was a fluke!).  At the end of the day, numbers don’t lie. Tied for first place, 500+ points (2nd in the league).  No autodraft, no problem. 

3.  Wiggums Wise-Guys | 3-2-0 | W1 | 490.00 pts

It’s bad enough that Division 2 is full of garbage teams, but hey, somebody has got to be on top.  There’s a 3-way tie for first, and the Wise-Guys are putting up the most points.  Not too shabby with 122 this week.  Smart move to start Alex Smith, who had his best game so far all season.  But with Romo & Fitzpatrick as your other QB’s, did you really have a choice?  My concern is the trio of WR’s you choose to start on any given week, since they’re all unpredictable except for Marshall.  Then again, it’s not my concern because nobody in Division 2 is going to win this year.

3.  Sticky Banditz | 3-2-0 | L1 | 488.00 pts 

Close, but no cigar.  What can I say? A win this past week could’ve possibly changed the whole outcome of the season, but it all came down to the last game of the week with only one player left.  And it just so happened that that player was Arian Foster.  And instead of a win, you got lemons.  And when life gives you lemons, you don’t go to the playoffs.  Now, I know you’d like to think this team is bound for the Super Bowl, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Division 2 is still up for grabs, and the team you face next week is pretty darn good (it’s Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop). But I must say, you do have a solid squad. And with Stafford and Megatron, it’s almost a win-win. (Except when the Madden curse becomes true. Then it’s a lose-lose.)

5.  4th and Drunk | 2-3-0 | L1 | 428.00 pts

4th and Drunk and Lost Keys and Why Didn’t You Start AP?  By the looks of your team, I’m surprised you have a losing record. You can’t score points on the bench, bro!  Aside from the record and points scored, this team does have the power to come out on top in Division 2.  And as of week 5, I’m choosing 4th and Drunk as the dark horse contender for DIFFF.  The only question is, will you start the right players each week? Will you start AP?  I know you and Bumblebee Tunas got this trade offer going on, but seriously, is it amateur hour?  Enough with the child’s play.  Work with what you’ve got, make the right starts, and maybe, just maybe, we’ll see you in the postseason.

6.  1st and Bone | 3-2-0 | L1 | 431.00 pts

Bro … you lost to a team that was named 0-4.  Then again, there wasn’t much you could do about it.  Only A. Rodg & Cruz showed up this week while everyone else was TD-less.  There’s a reason they call it Any Given Sunday, and unfortunately, you weren’t given enough points.  Tied for first in your division, but the road ahead doesn’t look too smooth. Two of your RB’s are on a bye this week as you face the top team in the league.  There are a few stars on your roster, however, and they will need to have their best game this Sunday in order for you to turn things around.  (Let’s just hope Cruz isn’t one of them because they’re coming to Candlestick this week.)

7.  LETS FIGHTING LOVE | 2-3-0 | W1 | 419.00 pts 

The reigning DIFFF champ.  Something isn’t right here; you finally got your second win in week 5.  There’s only one possible explanation for all this:  last year was a fluke.  CJ2K hasn’t lived up to expectations this year, but luckily you’ve got the RB position covered.  Actually, your whole squad isn’t too bad. The problem is you’ve got 475 points against you (3rd in the league).  Chances of a repeat are slim, but with Percy Harvin having an awesome year and Brian Hartline leading the league in receiving yards (Dafuq?), it is a possibility.

8.  BumbleBee Tunas | 2-3-0 | L2 | 412.00 pts

Started off the season strong, but a two-game losing streak has turned things around for the worst.  Not to mention an awful performance this past week with 60 total points.  A very Raider-like performance, I might add.  But hey, I can’t be mad because you helped me with my win.  With Matty Ice having an MVP-like season, at least you have the QB position locked in.  Veteran WR’s & TE, but the RB position seems to be lacking.  Maybe that’s what you should be trading for with 4th and Drunk, but let’s keep it real, trades don’t happen in this league.  And you count on me to veto it.

9.  0-4 | 1-4-0 | W1 | 452.00 pts 

Well, well, well… 0-4 has finally achieved what most of us acquired in week 1 – a win.  It was really funny at first, but then it started to become downright ridiculous.  And just when I was ready to rule your team out to make a run for the playoffs, you finally put up your first win in stunning fashion – 134 points.  It’s no surprise to the rough start though, everyone seems to have their best game against you with 512 points overall (most in the league).  Your division is in arms’ race as we speak, but as I review your current roster, I can’t help but think of what the hell you were smoking when you drafted.  Tom Brady is a solid choice, but the rest of the team will need a prayer.  Only time will tell if this past week was merely a stroke of luck or for things to come.

10.  Lexington Steelers | 1-4-0 | L4 | 440.00 pts

Things have not been going your way as of lately.  A win to kick off the season, but it’s been an uphill battle since then.  And to top it all off, you got yoked by some chick at the porta potties this past Sunday.  In hindsight, I couldn’t blame her.  I mean, you did cut her in line, and then followed up by saying you’re going to stiff arm her.  But anyway, you had the 3rd pick in the draft, so I expect for you to have a squad.  You picked up Ray Rice, good. Unfortunately, it seems as though you had no idea what to do with the rest of your draft picks.  2nd pick, Jimmy Graham?! My nigga, is you serious?  It also doesn’t help that most teams are having their best games against you with 491 overall points (2nd in the league).  Unless you can convince Ant to drop one of his players for you to pick up off the waivers again, it doesn’t look too good.

All right, bros.  It’s been a great week in football, and it’s only going to get better.  The question is, can your team keep up?  We’ll see.

Well, well, well, Week 4 is over and with the NFL FINALLY paying the refs (iono what the fuck took so long) we are back to the product we all know and love. 1/4th of the way in and teams/players are settling in and getting into the groove of things. Quarterbacks and wide outs growing relationships, o-line men getting to know each others strengths and weaknesses and pass rushers doing what they do best.

Alright enough of the bullshit intro to our blog, its time now for me to dig in and see who made it to .500 and who didn't, who’s playing the right players and who's fucking off and just making some “i Am Sam” type starts. And that one guy (lon) who keeps changing his name and just gets unlucky (lon) and or his players just suck. Im not gonna name names (lon) but ill talk more about that later.....way later......LETS GET IT OOOONNNNNN (DMX Voice)

1. Fosters AustrArian for GayBeer | 3-1-0 | W2 | 440.00

Another HUNDO BURGER for francis. As of right now its looking like the red rifle / green combo is gonna pay off this year. They have a good connection and pretty much will be money the rest of the year, unless the injury bug hits. 49ERS DEFENSE coming up HUGE for you, so much for the people who said “too early” (i did). And the running back tandem is doing work. Let’s see if you can keep the streak alive and pull off another win next week.

2. 1st and Boner | 3-1-0 | W3 | 349.00

Joon Bro you didn't lose your quarterback for the whole year and look at you now, doing the moonwalk and or krumping at 3-1 on a hot streak! A.Rodge back to his old self and the Beast is doing his thing in Seattle. Now i know why you drafted Cruuuuuuuz, for his awesome salsa skills? If not that then for his good relationship with eli but im leaning towards the dancing. The bench is looking scarce bro, i have a feeling that when bye weeks start to pop up its gonna be a tough road going forward, but for right now you making the right moves and for that i commend you sir.

3. Can’t Stop Won’t Stop (being gay) | 3-1-0 | W1 | 427.00

Now to the guy we all love to hate but have to put up with since we stuck with him (jk my brother).......but seriously i cant hate, you at 3-1 wile talking all that shit you seem to keep backing it up with wins (until last week) but came back with a win this week. RG3 is making you look like a genius (even tho i hate to admit it) and R.White is poised for another huge year with the falcons going no huddle. i do however need to quote you on “I don't know if you noticed but Can't Stop Won't Stop outscored Wiggums Wise Guys and 1st & Bone this week” BUT YOU DIDNT OUTSCORE ME BRO. Had to get that jab in. Its still early, so get all the wins you can cause its only gonna get tougher from here on out.

4. Sticky Faggotz | 3-1-0 | W1 | 386.00

Antonio Fabiano pulled out a butt clincher. Better thank Bears Defense for this win bro. What’s going on with Megatron? Madden Curse? You stole jerry’s thunder this year but the Lions are looking like pretenders so far. The “Burner” Turner and Frank “The Tank” Gore is working out since the o-lines from their respective teams are giving them holes and giving the quarterback time to get rid of the football. But bro the bench you have is looking graveyard’ish. You got J.Best and B.Wells still? why? DHB almost went full retard. Too bad we cant make trades cause that’s defiantly gonna hinder you going forward. But for now 3-1 is good and we should celebrate that.

5. Wiggums (not so) Wise-Guys | 2-2-0 | L2 | 368.00

Tien Mothafuckin Le, my bro i bet you didn't expect 5 picks from Tony Romo. I had the cowgirls winning that game but hey worst shit has happened, like not starting Forte and Olsen. But hey, you are at .500 and we still got a lot of football to play. B.Marsh has woke up and looks like the Fantasy stud we all thought he was. You might wanna consider picking up another QB bro or allowing 1 trade to happen cause its gonna be a rocky road with Romo/Smith in fantasy point terms.

6. BumbleBee Tunas | 2-2-0 | L1 | 352.00

Ok, i know what ur thinking (why didn't this asshole come up with a name for KO)...let me answer you by saying, fuck you and i couldn't come up with anything and that his name is already stupid enough. (jk bro) You let Joon Jabawalk all over you, the only question i have for you is....who the fuck is R.Barden? and why the hell you didn’t start A.Boldin? i don’t understand it and has to be the “I AM SAM” start of the week. I know what ur saying...he wouldn't of won anyways...but still stop experimenting with no name wide outs and stick with the proven commodity. Other than that, Matty ice is a cold blooded pigskin slinger and the wideouts you have are pure gold. You just need to figure out who to start when bro.

7. 4th and Drunk (lost keys in own pocket) | 2-2-0 | W1 | 333.00

Bottom line is, i should be 3-1 but fucked up last week and left 80 something points on the bench. i can already hear you guys saying (why didnt you start AP) shut the hell up hahaha. Lets not talk about the past tho and look forward, im 2-2 and still in the mix of things and for that i’m happy with.

8. Lexington Limp-er's | 1-3-0 | L3 | 359.00

LaMichael James Craig what the fuck is going on Jive Turkey? yeah i said it! Ur team just took on dump on you this week. Ray Rice didn’t get into the endzone and J.Mac got you 0.00 points. I’m sure it stings even more losing to Jordan, but hey don’t sweat it bro its only week 4 and you have a lot of time to step it up and come back up the rankings.

9. LETS FIGHTING MAN LOVE | 1-3-0 | L1 | 334.00

Chinman, wsup bro? kind of far from the top...its probably kinda hard for the rest of us to see the text so ima increase the font size. You just ran into francis on the week that the 49ers BLANK the jets and put up 27.00 points. its not like the team you put out is garbage, it was just a bad match up this past week. I still cant count you out since ur our champ from last year....but that was last year and this year you 1-3 early...step it up!

10. failure to LONch, Lons Of Anarchy (and wtvr other troll names you had) | 0-4-0 | L4 | 318.00

................I dont know what to say other than trolling aint working out for you bro....you been close the past 2 weeks but cant seem to take it over the top and get the W. Iono if the team hates you, or its bad mojo for tryina troll everyone, but what ever the case may be its never good to start 0-4. Now i know we still have a lot of time left, but you making it hard on yourself starting this poor right out the gate. Get ur shit right and get it in next week bro!

All in all everyone is about 1 game behind 1st place (except for lon) so its anyone’s championship to win right now. lets make this season one to remember.

Welcome to the end of week 3 of the DIFFF League and as we all know, this week has been a roller coaster. Between the refs horrible calls, bad coaching among some folks by leaving players on the bench, Raiders winning and 49ers losing, injuries, and more of the refs horrible calls.. i must say, i like roller coasters but this isn't one of the fun ones. 

So here we are fellas.. End of week 3. If you haven't noticed, 6/10 teams in our league is 2-1-0, so i wouldn't say anyone is really at the top at the moment but there is a lonely fella at the bottom! (S/O to my homie!!) However, the season is early-early and there's plenty of more NFL football to be played as well as DIFFF teams to be managed so LETS GET IT!!

1) Foster AustrArian for Beer | 2-1-0 | W2 | 314.00 pts

Mr. Foster threw Ms. Can't Stop Won't Stop a beer and told him to pump the brakes this week.  A good win for Francis as his 1-2 combo punched their way out with a combined 49.00 points. It's pretty clear Andy Dalton has jungle fever for A.J. Green and to Francis' advantage, he seen that before the draft and swooped them right up under his wing. Nice pick up, my friend. Droppin that 3 figure score means you're doing somn right… for last week at least. Keep it up!

2) Wiggums Wise-Guys | 2-1-0 | L1 | 281.00 pts

Oooohhh we got ourselves a Wise-Guy over here! Only problem is, the same can't be said for your team, my friend. With Romo only dropping a 5-guys burger and the rest of your team not doing well and LETS FIGHTING LOVE (i lol overtime) scoring the way he did, there was no winning for you bro. I did the math! We all have bad weeks but always try our best. Better luck next week against the Sticky Banditoz ese!! 

3) 1st and Bone | 2-1-0 | W2 | 247.00 pts

Most horrible win i've seen in fantasy football but i still give it up to you.. because you won!! (queue the Vin Diesel 1-liners) And to that note, it doesn't matter how you get the W, just get the W!! All i can really mention about this team is HOW they won. Pierre Garcon was still IA but was left in, Miles Austin is the only other player on the team having a double digit score (10 pts) other than the kicker who scored the most points on the team! (Jason Hanson 17 pts). But… with 4th and Drunk only scoring a total of 41 pts and getting the W by only 16 pts.. come on. Set your players, pimpin. You won't get away with another win like this! 

4) Can't Stop Won't Stop | 2-1-0 | L1 | 317.00 pts

Ms. Can't Stop Won't Stop.. ehh ehh.. ehh ehh.. unfortunately came to a stop. Maybe a speed bump? Maybe ran over road spikes? Haha but in all fairness, your team did well. Da Bears DEF is holdin it down with 23 pts and Drew Breesy averaging 19.6 pts may mean trouble for opposing teams later in the season. Only if you could have benched WR D. Thomas (1 pt) and played WR N. Washing (17 pts) instead, Ms. Can't Stop would still be on a roll.. extra butter. 

5) Sticky Banditz | 2-1-0 | W1 | 288.00 pts 

hundo… hundo… HUNDO BURGERRR. I'm not in the mood to sit and talk about myself. I'm just glad the Lons Of Anarchy's RBs didn't go off (total of only 9 pts combined) otherwise this may have been a different story! YEAH I LUH DA STRIPPAAS!

6) BumbleBee Tunas | 2-1-0 | W1 | 263.00 pts

Another 3 figure niggaa.. putting the cream on Lexington Steelers with 108 pts and finishing with a 30 pt cream margin. And boy.. That's a lot of cream! Matty Ice has an avg of 23 pts so far and doesn't look like he's stopping any time soon, especially with Carolina on their plate next sunday at home. With BumbleBee Tunas WR stacked as it is, it's no surprise that all 3 WR combined have 48 pts. Good job. 

7) 4th and Drunk | 1-2-0 | L1 | 217.00 pts

There's times when you just wana go back.. back to that Thursday afternoon.. when you were looking at your DIFFF team.. and just make a couple changes. Not a whole lot, but just a few changes.. But since we don't have that luxury, we have to look at my homie putting up 41 pts for week 3 and having 3 bench players score more pts together than the whole opposing team. No one can predict the future bro, so don't feel so bad. Next week will be different. I hope.

8) Lexington Steelers | 1-2-0 | L2 | 287.00 pts

You know you messed up picking Vick right… yeah. You messed up! I know because i've been there! Ray Rice lookin solid in the RB position, very nice pick up there. It's tough watching your benched QB have probably the highest scoring FF score he will ever have but i also did the math on your game bro, and it wouldn't have mattered. 108.00 pts of cream is a lot of cream to take in. Season is still early.. many more winning opportunities ahead. 

9) LETS FIGHTING LOVE | 1-2-0 | W1 | 248.00 pts 

My favorite team name in the game pulls out of week 3 with their first W. Congrats, my friend. Jamaal Charles is looking like he used to before the injury and MJD snappin on Indy's defense.. its no wonder these 2 RB combined 58 pts and saving you a loss because of Philip River's poor performance, not to mention Jason Witten's huge 0 pt score. Good win, bro. 

10) Lons Of Anarchy | 0-3-0 | L3 | 227.00 pts 

Bro.. I aint even gota say it. I know you weren't there for the first couple picks of the DIFFF draft. I know. But these players of yours aren't doing SHIT. It's week 3, you have the #1 spot on the waivers this week.. hopefully you can find some help out there! We all have a long season ahead and as we all know, things can change on any given sunday!

An end to an awesome week of NFL and DIFFF. I know it's early in the season to be stressin off of anything that's going on so hang in there playas. Lets all just pray to the football gods that they exile these replacement refs and bless us with REAL officials. And just remember, I never wish evil upon any of yall.. unless you're up against me. 

We decided we wanted to flip it up this week and bring in KO as a guest writer for the Power Rankings.  I am not censoring anything he has written.  Everything is verbatim, so if it sucks or is not funny or has elementary school-level spelling or grammar.  Don't blame me .... hahah jk.  I'm sure its funny ..... ..... ...... ........ well here's KO with this week's Power Rankings:

We getting down to the niddy griddy week 10 is in and I am KO the guest writer for this Week 10 power ranking

theres alot of changes surprises and a team with pure dominance in the league with a 6 game win streak, hes prolly rubbing off on the Niners great season as off today, thats right motha fuckas I said it I cant hate Niners ard doing it with all the haters on they back, and this is coming from a Raider fan, but I aint mad Raiders soul possesion of first place in the AFC West. Anyway we have teams that got bumped up and prolly gonna be happy and stop bitching haha jk, and a team that flopped in the power rankings and the season itself, 4 more games in the season so its crunch time. Now ima talk my shit, you dont like kick rocks I'm the guest writer

  1) Female Body Inspectors | 8-2-0 | W6 | 1061.00 pts

Now if you didnt figure it out The shemales are the dominant team throw out the season his team has been consistant, his points hit the thousand mark and the record says it all....nice coaching to start Homo not Stafford. And this guy broke a hundo burger basically with 3 players in week 10 Homo, Arian Fosterchild, and Da Bears Defense all his other player scored 6 and below WHAT THE FUCK!!! haha but good job i still wish you get drunk saturday night and forget to set your line up so you can loose or all your players in Le's words die or get injured, i say this cause you in my division and u have a 3 game lead you bastard!!!!

2) Prestige Worldwide | 6-4-0 | W2 | 726.00 pts

Princess Worldwide haha jk Jordan calm your ass down haha, but he proved that he can draft instead of auto drafting with an up and down season, he did enough to get by and become number 1 in his division with a one game lead. Cant say the same for the WCW league but thats a different story, but cant hate. His players arent all that great besides Matty ice and Eli, Roddy White isnt having a great season but playing them waiver wires (FINALLY) is paying off for him. I guess he thought Jamal Charles was coming back, number 2 in the power ranking and your team is the lowest scoring team, gotta feel good about that, or your division is garbage cause Mike seemed to sneak up and be number 2 with a 3 game tie for second in that division, who wouldve known haha shut up im talking my shit, and again i hope your players die or get injured.

3) The Lonsilogs | 5-5-0 | W4 | 1004.00 pts

The Tapsilogs are the second team to break the thousand mark good shit, but loosing to Jerry when just 3 player had broke double digits is not good bro, prolly cause Bilbo Baggins Welker didnt do you no good, and Billy missing 2 kicks from 50 (he is no Janokowski). Besides that this lose didnt hurt much but tied you with ME,the great one, in 2nd place in division 2. And yea i hope your players get injured or die and you loose.

4) Belichick's Video Rentals | 5-5-0 | W4 | 942.00 pts

Well Well Well Mighty Mike haha cant hate 4 game win streak from the team who stayed at the gruusome twosome for prolly half the season and now is tied for 2nd place in division 1. I only have one thing to say, I hope your players die or get injured hahaha, naw but good shit with 4 wins and breaking hundo burgers left and right, the curse is over well maybe not cause players are still going off against you but your players are keeping up with them going off as well. Jackson and MJD are finally coming out and Jimmy Graham off waivers one of the best pick ups. Lets hope you can keep this up cause sorry Mike Shaub out indefintley sucks with Optimus coming back, now you ask youself pick up matt Lineart or dare i say TEBOW TIME!!!! haha

5) TDs or GTFO | 5-5-0 | W1 | 935.00 pts

Mr. Le the inventor of the DIF power ranking, A must win for him after loosing last week when both his star running backs were out due to injury (RUN DMC) and a bye (Adrian Peterson). Larry Fitzpredator finally going off, and unproven over paid Ryan Fitzpatrick not going off gave you a must win. Coming in 3rd place with a 3 way tie with Mike and The Average Joesapines, is a tough competition in that Division but with AP and Run DmC supposedly getting better the last few weeks is looking interesting, and NO Le you are not getting CJ aight, and i have to say tho i hope your players die or get injured.

6) Average Joes | 5-5-0 | L2 | 841.00 pts

Average Josaphines well i have to give it up playing you first time in Fantasy Football and your keeping up with your name average, not a bad thing dont cry, but i have to say in the beggining your team was looking good but became inconsitant at times. With loosing 2 straight not a good thing bro and your playing Franny this week who broke a hundo burger last week, set your team right cause if you loose this week not looking good at all. and yea i hope you players die or get injured.

7) Blue Mountain BumSlayers | 5-5-0 | W1 | 772.00 pts

Blue Mountain Raiders hahaha yea I picked up like the whole raider squad so what haha, Michael busch AFC player of the week with D Mac out I had too, and Carson Palmer well this week and this week only I say he had a solid game, both players gave me 44 points and a big edge over DIF U and came out with a win. But inconsistant and questionable coaching with my team lineup not starting players, where those players would of got me a couple of wins. All in all I broke a hundo burger for the first time and CJ stepped up FINALLY FUCK!!!!!

8) WestCoastJointRollers | 4-6-0 | L1 | 893.00 pts

West Coast Bammer Joint Rollers hahaha jk bro, 2 players with double digit scores not gonna do it for you bro trust me I know, you had a must win situation and blew it haha...it put you one game behind and worst of all your playing me next, but it seems like you can beat a team with just Mr. Rodgers cause one player with consistant numbers hes it, good first rounder. But your recievers didnt do you no good , and starting Chad and Manningham would've one it for you, and I have to say I hope your players die or get injured.

9) DIF University | 4-6-0 | L4 | 870.00 pts

FLASHBACK: Anthony Fontela drops Desean Jackson (2009 or 2010 haha) (2011) with the first pick in in the 2011 DIF FF DIF U selects Michael Vick ahhhhhhh wth  booo booo (thats if you had fans ant) haha jk but you have made the two biggest moves ever in DIF FF and did it pan out I dont know man...Vick is looking like the pitbulls that he was fight with, but in some games Vick did make you look good for picking him first but if you wanted a QB in the first pick Aaron Rodgers should've been it but loosing 4 straight put you down to being one of the grussome twosome, one game behind and last in Division 2 but hey 2 things 1) your only one game behind 2) I hope your players die or get injures

10) Garbage Brigade | 3-7-0 | L2 | 840.00 pts

Well the name says it all, Garbage...............

so thats it folkss........hahaha jk Franny, but you've been getting close but no cigar, the thing I dont get is that you started Battle over Rashart, Battle and KC havent proved to have any run skills after Charles Xavier went down and Rashart has been doing good, and too bad D Jack didnt set his alarm in the morning hahaha and Mambo King number 6 did get to the end zone, but put up some yardage and again I'm sorry but I hope your players die or get injured

Aight DIF fam there my takes on Week 10 power rankings hate it or love it cause I really dont give a fuck go cry about it haha....it is getting down to the 4 more games. Time to start doing your homework if winning is what you wanna do. And one more thing I have been doing this all wrong let me re phrase something to all of you...........I hope all your players get injured THEN die.

I know it's kinda late and technically Week 10 started already but I'd be doing a disservice to those who won this last week if I didn't do a Power Rankings.  So here it is. I'll try and make it quick. 1) Female Body Inspectors | 7-2-0 | W5 | 926.00 pts

Again, the Shemales are at the top.  Can someone knock this fuckin team off already?  The Blue Mountain Raiders had the best shot this week. His bench scored as much as the Shemales, too bad KO started the wrong people and his team lost by 9. Good Job Ko!

2) The Lonsilogs | 5-4-0 | W1 | 926.00 pts

His team looks back to form.  Thats the 4th Hundoguesa of the season. Lonsilogs got the Shemales next week. HUGE GAME. 

3) Average Joes | 5-4-0 | L1 | 777.00 pts

You Lost to Jordan. Garbage.

4) Princess Worldwide | 5-4-0 | W1 | 648.00 pts

I almost put you in front of the Average Hoes but the point differential is too great to justify the jump.  Reggae Bush had a big game.  Great win.  Can you keep it up against the WCJR?

5) Belicheck's Video Rentals | 4-5-0 | W3 | 832.00 pts

You beat me.  You know what that gets you??? a big FUCK YOU! .... Nah.  Good job dude. 3 Game win streak.  Just when everyone counted you out, you get yourself right back in it.... Fucker.

6) TDs or GTFO | 4-5-0 | L1 | 838.00 pts

Lost this week. FUCK! Fuck you D-Mac for getting hurt, Fuck you James Starks for suckin, Fuck you Chris Ogbonnaya for being irrelevant and having having a retard name, and Fuck you AD for having a bye week.

7) WestCoastJointRollers | 4-5-0 | W1 | 830.00 pts

Holy Shit you won by 1.  That was fuckin hilarious.  Would've won by more if Maclin didn't drop all those passes.  That last catch on 4th down where he slips short of the first down saved your ass.  Gave you that last point to put you over the top.  

8) DIF University | 4-5-0 | L3 | 788.00 pts

Good god.  You almost snapped your 2 game losing streak.  Blame Forte.  2 fumbles??? HAHAHAHA.  You better drop him.  Too bad.  3 Game Losing Streak.

9) Blue Mountain Bumslayers | 4-5-0 | L3 | 644.00 pts

Very close to putting you at the bottom of the power rankings.  Losing 3 in a row in which you are averaging 58.3 points.  Ugly.  1 more loss and you're at the bottom bro. Starters this week = 73 pts, Bench = 82 pts. LOL.

10) Garbage Brigade | 3-6-0 | L1 | 739.00 pts

How is DJack gonna get 0 pts?  ... And who the fuck is Jackie Battle? and why are you starting him when you have RaShart Mendenhall?  I mean you woulda loss anyway but still.  Whatever.  Get em next week.  You have a shot to move into the 9th spot bro!

I know, I know, I know, last week we didnt have a power rankings.  Yeah yeah yeah. I was busy. Fuck Off.  4 teams scored in the 60's. That's Turrible Kenny.

1) Female Body Inspectors | 6-2-0 | W4 | 874.00 pts

4-game win streak. The Shemales are clearly the class of the league.  This week, they put a 61 pt. beatdown on Princess Worldwide. Reminds me a lot of ... 

2) Average Joes | 5-3-0 | W1 | 693.00 pts

Big Win over the Lonsilogs. Shady McCoy BEASTED.  Who would've thought that the team who drafted Peyton Manning in the first round, and is now starting Harvard Boy Amish Retard, would be ranked 2nd in the league.

3) The Lonsilogs | 4-4-0 | L1 | 822.00 pts

Rice did work! Breesus and Colston fell flat to the Rams .... the fucking RAMS.  Ahmad Bradshaw got hurt .... still scored 85 pts. ... that's more than I can say about some teams in this league. *cough* BumSlayers * cough* Princess Worldwide * cough* DIF U * cough * WCJR *cough* ..... but you still lost.

4) TDs or GTFO (Waka) | 4-4-0 | W1 | 761.00 pts

Finally, a bounceback win after 2 straight losses.  DIF U, u didn't really think you could have won, did you?

5) DIF University | 4-4-0 | L1 | 688.00 pts

69 pts. LOL.  Thanks for playing your ALL STAR LINEUP of Isaac Redman, David Nelson, and Nate Burleson.  HAHAHAH JK. Lots of players on bye this week so I dont blame you.  But you definitely need more depth ... ....  Isaac Redman. LOL. 

6) Blue Mountain BumSlayers | 4-4-0 | L2 | 591.00 pts

You just might be the worst .500 team .... bro. Garbage Brigade has scored more than you.  .... Wait I spoke too soon.

7) Prestige Worldwide | 4-4-0 | L1 | 555.00 pts

You are the worst .500 team.  How you're at .500, I have no idea.  You are averaging 69.36 pts. per game.  thats 10 points lower than your average 3 weeks ago.  You need to start setting up your lineup bro.  You shouldn't have played without a Kicker and a WR ... I mean you still would've lost but it would've looked less like ... 

8) Belichick's Video Rentals | 3-5-0 | W2 | 727.00 pts

2 game win streak & a beat down of the BumSlayers.  Only 2 games out with 6 games to go.  Your team finally has gotten out of "Gruesome Twosome" status.

9) WestCoastJointRollers | 3-5-0 | L2 | 729.00 pts

And taking his place ... the WestCoastJointRollers.  Damn Rique, you shoulda played Lions D. .... Why didn't you play them? .... You shoulda played Lions D. HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA. Finally backfired on you.  Enjoy being friends with francis at the bottom.

10) Garbage Brigade | 3-5-0 | W1 | 661.00 pts

Props to the homie for a big upset win.  He dropped the hundo burger on Rique (who should've played Lions D).  He was starvin for a win and got it ... still reluctant to give you the 9th spot in the rankings but at least you're not 2-6.  Another win should get you there.

Next week is approximately half-way through the regular season! I wanted to recognize the top performers half-way through the season.  Tonight we nominate players, teams and coaches for various awards and we will unveil the winners next week.

The Peyton Manning Award for MVP:

The Nominees are:

Aaron Rodgers (WestCoastJointRollers)

Tom Brady (Garbage Brigade)

Fred Jackson (Blue Mountain BumSlayers)

The Tom Brady Award for Best Late-Round Draft Pick:

The Nominees are:

Joe Flacco (Waka Flacco Flame) in the 14th Round

Matthew Stafford (Shemale Body Inspectors) in the 13th Round

Aaron Hernandez (Average Joes) in the 13th Round       

The Jamarcus Russell Award for the Biggest Bust!:

The Nominees are:

Chris Johnson (Blue Mountain Bumslayers) 6th Overall

Peyton Manning (Average Joes) 7th Overall

Jamaal Charles (Prestige Worldwide) 8th Overall

The Holy Shit That Was Awesome Game Award:

The Nominees are:

Average Joes 103.00 - Garbage Brigade 100.00 (Week 2)

Garbage Brigade needed only 10 points from DJack and or the Eagles Defense on Sunday night to win, they only got 6. Average Joes steals the victory with a 23 point performance from Shady McCoy

DIF U 134.00 – Shemale Body Inspectors 122.00 (Week 4)

The Shemales were up 122 to 102 with DIF U only the Ravens D left on a Sunday Night Game against the Jets.  The Shemales had it on lock … there’s no way the Ravens D gets 20 points to catch up. …. Check this, the Ravens D score 3 defensive TDs, 2 sacks, an INT, and forced 3 fumbles netting them 32 points. BIG come-from-behind-the-ass UPSET WIN!

Shemale Body Inspectors 111.00 – WestCoastJointRollers 103.00 (Week 5)

The Shemales were down 10 to WCJR, 77-88, each with 2 players on the Lions left facing a Bears team on Monday Night.  Stafford and Megatron on one side, Pettigrew and Lions D on the other.  Of course Megatron & Stafford racked up 31 pts between them, and Brandon Pettigrew & Lions D only got 16 pts.  The Shemales come through with the come-back win!

The Holy Shit That Was Bad Game UnAward:

The Nominees Are:

Avergage Joes 61.00 – Belichick’s Video Rentals 112.00 (Week 3)

51 pt. win … LOL! HAHA.

Lonsilogs 127.00 – Belichick’s Video Rentals 70.00 (Week 6)

57 pt. win …. LMAO! HAHAHAHAHAHHA.

Lonsilogs 128.00 – Prestige Worldwide 43.00 (Week 1)

…….. …… 85 pt. win? … LMFAO! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA.

The Dan Marino Award for Best QB:

The nominees are:

Aaron Rodgers (WCJR)

Tom Brady (Garbage Brigade)

Drew Brees (Lonsilogs)

The Barry Sanders Award for Best RB Tandem:

The nominees are:

Adrian Peterson & Darren McFadden (Waka) – 196 combined pts.

Ray Rice & Ahmad Bradshaw (Lonsilogs) – 177 combined pts.

LeSean McCoy & LawFirm (Average Joes) – 180 combined pts.

The Jerry Rice Award for Best WR Corps:

The nominees are:

Megatron, Steve Smith, Hakeem Nicks (Shemales) 253 combined pts.

Pierre Garcon, Roddy White, Deion Branch (Prestige) 160 combined pts.

AJ Green, D.Bowe, Larry the Fairy (Waka) 184 combined pts.

The Shannon Sharpe Award for Best Tight End (Pause):

The nominees are:

Jimmy Graham

Rob Gronkowski

Tony Gonzalez

The Martin Gramatica Award for the Kickass Muhfuggin Kicker:

The Nominees are:

Sebastian “Seabass” Janikowski (WCJR)

… this fool kicks like 50 yarders while brushing his teeth. He wins. … Next award.

The Bill Walsh Award for Best Coaching:

The Nominees are:

Jerry (Shemales)

Thony (DIF U)

KO (BumSlayers)

Couple things before I begin, this was a LOW scoring week. Only 2 teams broke the hundo burger on their opponent. … Also, gotta be mentioned: Division 2 absolutely murdered Division 1 in this week’s interdivisional play. Division 2 Teams were 5-0 this week … Division 1 teams were 0-5. Gaarbage! At least it means no one gained or loss ground in the divisional race. …. With that said, let’s get to it … (queue the SportsCenter Fooball Music – dun nuh dun dun dun dunh du nuhhh x50)

1) Female Body Inspectors | 4-2-0 | W2 | 641.00 pts

Dropped the hundo burger light on the mayo on the Average Joes this week. Good sound win in the game of the week this week with a 105-98 victory where all of his players contributed. All players scored between 6 and 20 points. No one went ape shit but no one flopped either – complete game. Congratulations Shemales.

2) DIF University | 4-2-0 | W3 | 540.00 pts

DIF U on a 3 game win streak!?!? Even though 2 of those wins were against the Basura Brigade and Prestige Worldwide, 3 wins in a row is impressive. I did get to thinking however, how the fuck does this team combine to score 3 TD’s and win???? Then I look at the other side of the scoreboard and see that Prestige, as a team, only scored 1 TD this week. LOL. You get one of the gruesome twosome next week. Make sure you don’t lose to them. They suck.

3) Blue Mountain BumSlayers | 4-2-0 | W2 | 489.00 pts

Averaging 81.5 points, the BumSlayers are the only 4-2 team to not have over 500 points. I guess all that doesn’t matter because he got the win. Just keep in mind it was against the Basura Brigade. This week’s game was won mid-week when a few great coaching moves proved to play perfect (The pickup of Kobayashi scoring 18 and the dropping of Jason Campbell who ended up breaking his collarbone. Great coaching Job!

4) The Lonsilogs | 3-3-0 | W1 | 640.00 pts

The other team to drop the hundo burger extra mayo on an opponent. Holy crap Ahmad Bradshaw went off. 30 points! The Lonsilogs took a two-flusher all over Belichick’s Video Rentals. This laughable 57-point win looks a lot more like an Alabama vs. Northwestern Texas State score. Shit, you could’ve sat Breesus, Rice, Thomas, Welker and Fred Davis and still would’ve won by 7. LOL. Big 4 spot jump in the rankings!

5) WestCoastJointRollers | 3-3-0 | W1 | 591.00 pts

Great win to pull to .500 this week. The 12 point win suggests it was closer than it actually was. The Madden Curse only got 1 point and so did Cheddah Bob. Credit to the WCJR for winning when 2 of key players were duds.

6) Waka Flacco Flame | 3-3-0 | L1 | 587.00 pts

After a monster 30 point performance last week, AD was grounded by the Bears for only 9 points. With 2 starting receivers out, the rest of the team did nothing to equalize the ARodge/Burner combo on the other side that racked 48 points on that ass. Keep playing like this and the slip continues. Next week: Lonsilogs.

7) Average Joes | 3-3-0 | L2 | 512.00 pts

Two words: Devin Hester. Big mistake not starting him. He was the difference between a win & loss. That and VD was completely MIA. The Jets DEF made it interesting on Monday night but not enough to pull it out.

8) Prestige Worldwide | 3-3-0 | L1 | 449.00 pts

I was laughing at his 76.8 pts/game average last week thinking it can’t get any worse. Can it?? Its down to 74.8 now. Jesus, man these are WNBA numbers. Get it together. Why do you still have Jamaal Charles on your roster? He’s not po’ lil tink tink. He’s been on IR since week 2. BumSlayers up next. Can you pull off the upset?

9) Garbage Brigade | 2-4-0 | L2 | 480.00 pts

Once again the gruesome twosome are at the bottom of the list. When you play Cruz, he sucks it up. When you bench him, he goes off! Looks like Victor Cruz better lambada his ass back to the bench. Maybe it’s just one of those seasons man …. Wait that’s every season for you. HAHA JK. The only thing you got going for you is … you’re not Mike.

10) Belichick’s Video Rentals | 1-5-0 | L3 | 532.00 pts

Unfortunately, you ARE Mike. And Mike, you aren’t very good. It does suck that the week you play opponents, their players go off … but no one on your team is going off either … When your TE is consistently your best player, you’re garbage … more garbage than the Garbage Brigade. Look at it this way at least you still play Basura Brigade and Prestige 1 more time each. Right? .. RIGHT! WOOO!!!! 3 WINS YEAAAH!!!

Female Body Inspectors vs. Average Joes

A matchup of two 3-2-0 teams with the chance for the winner to control their respective divisions.

QB: Stafford (DET) vs. Fitzpatrick (BUF)

Both QB’s face tough defenses.  Stafford is facing a stout 49ers defense, but has Megatron.  No one in the 49ers secondary can match up with the 6'5, 250lb beast (unless Fangio does what Mike says and let Chris Culliver sit on Carlos Rodgers shoulder and line up with Calvin every down. LOL) The Amish Rifle Harvard Boy on the other hand doesn’t have a receiver like Megatron to throw to and should be harassed all day by Jason Pierre-Paul & Pegleg72.

Female Body Inspectors (Slight Edge)

RB Tandem: Foster (HOU) & Gore (SF) vs. McCoy (PHI) & Sproles (NO)

On paper it seems this should be a landslide edge for Hamstring Injury & Goreilla.   However, all 4 players face tough defenses (Baltimore, Detroit, Washington (very underrated front 7), and TB). Expect none of them to score more than 20. ... Maybe Shady McCoy.

EVEN

WR Corps:  Smith (CAR), Johnson (DET), Hicks (NYG) vs. Boldin (BAL), Nelson (GB), Moss (WAS)

Don’t have to say much. Steve Smith & Calvin on one side VS. the 2011 disappointment thus-far, a white WR, and a midget WR.

Female Body Inspectors (Landslide)

TE:  Witten (DAL) vs. Davis (SF)

Witten against a non-existent D in New England (No Mayo). Davis is matchup nightmare for the Lions linebackers (weakest part of the defense) – however Davis will probably be used to crack-down on blocks and help slow the Lions pass rush taking away from his plays downfield.

Female Body Inspectors

  DEF:  Bears vs. Jets

Jets play a MIA team. ... LOL. They should be able to score like 23 points. .. Can’t WAIT!

Average Joes (Landslide)

DIF University Picks Up Ryan Grant & Drops Brandon Jacobs

Blue Mountain BumSlayers Picks Up Raiders DEF ..... No surprise there.

So since, I started this site late, we'll just kick things off at week 5.

1) Female Body Inspectors  |  3-2-0  |  W1  |  536.00 pts

The Shemale Body Inspectors are back on track, even though they're coming off a 2 game losing streak,  they're averaging a league-best 107.2 pts a game and sitting at the top of their division. Scoring has come pretty easy when you have Stafford and Megatron.

2) Waka Flacco Flame  |  3-2-0  |  W1  |  510.00 pts

After an ugly loss to the Garbage Brigade, Waka Flacco Flame comes back strong with a 19-pt win over the league-worst Belichick's Video Rentals. AD's 30 pts + D-Bowe 24 pts + The Motorcycle Crash Dummy 27 pts = WIN.

3) DIF University  |  3-2-0  |  W2  |  461.00 pts

Only against the REALLY Garbage Brigade do you score 71 pts and win by a margin of 20. Either way DIF University is riding a 2 game win streak and that Vick #1 overall pick doesn't seem too bad .. he's averaging 18.6 pts per game.

4) Prestige Worldwide  |  3-2-0  |  W3  |  384.00 pts

Averaging a laughable 76.8 pts/game this year.  However, a 3-game win streak, capped with a 33 pt. win where Prestige breaks the 100 pt barrier, jumps them up a few spots and earns him the 4th Power Spot on the list and maybe is beginning to turn it on right in time .... PS ya'll are garbage for letting him beat yall. 

5) Average Joes  |  3-2-0  |  L1  |  414.00 pts

Peyton Manning proved to be a horrible 1st round pick and Average Joes is still a 3-2 team.  That being said, a 33 pt spanking by Prestige, is aint good bro.  If only you took the legal advice of the Law Firm of Benjarvis Green-Ellis ... then you might have.... still lost! With The Shemales coming to town next week, it's gonna be another tough matchup for the Average Joes.

6) Blue Mountain BumSlayers  |  3-2-0  |  W1  |  393.00 pts

Good lord. Another 3-2 team that hasn't hit the 400 pt. barrier through 5 games this season. Despite their Defense doing absolutely nothing (-2 pts LOL!), they come out with a 9 pt. win over the Lonsilogs.

7) WestCoastJointRollers  |  2-3-0  |  L1  |  502.00 pts

Despite a good coaching performance, WCJR comes up short against the Shemales. Rodgers and SeaBass can't do it by themselves. Turner, McGayass, Maclin, and Chedda Bob better begin providing him with some help.

8) The Lonsilogs  |  2-3-0  |  L2  |  513.00 pts

The Lonsilogs are averaging the 2nd highest in scoring at 102.6/game, however have dropped 2 straight. Lot's of players on BYE weeks this week and Belichick's Video Rentals next week. Look for the Lonsilogs to climb back up the charts after this week.

9) Garbage Brigade  |  2-3-0  |  L1  |  415.00 pts

aka one half of the Gruesome Twosome.  .... 51 points?!? ... 51 points??? You're not gonna win many games scoring 51 bro.  Should have played the black QB and the Salsa Instructor, Veector Cruz. 

10) Belichick's Video Rentals  |  1-4-0  |  L2  |  462.00 pts

Other half of the Gruesome Twosome.  1-4 is not where you want to be at this point in the season. 102 points was nice, too bad you ran into a buzz-saw this past week. Schaub played big, 49ers D played big, can't say much for everyone else on your team.  Oh and if you thought you could tank the season for Andrew Luck ... Fantasy Football doesn't work that way bro. Find a way to win.