I love the idea of Shane and Ilya having really casual sex. Like they are watching a movie together curled up on their couch and they are actually watching it, commenting softly on it but also four of Ilya’s fingers are pressed inside Shane, slick wet and he’s just crooking them slow and driving. Shane washing Ilya’s hair in the shower but Ilya’s on his knees sucking softy at Shane’s cock. Waiting for the water to boil to make pasta for dinner and Ilya is pinned against Shane’s back, grinding against him, hand down his pants. Shane reading in bed curled up on Ilya’s chest and Ilya is scrolling, his phone resting on top of Shane’s head but his cock is also inside him, fucking him slow and deep, Shane yawning into his chest.

jacob tierney voice i appreciate your hardwork designing the ottawa centaurs logo for season 2 of my hit tv show heated rivalry. is there any possible way we can make it look like the centaur in question is very sexually needy and, again if possible, cock hungry? i need it to at least be implied that the ottawa centaur himself is a, formally sexually repressed mind you, gay centaur currently coming into himself and his identity. thanks.

casting directors be like can we get the waifish clowning bodybuilder with a facial posture like marlene dietrich to play the closeted bisexual macho top whose signature move could only be described as the “tornado blowjob”. please.

looking forward to a slow push-in shot of ilya and troy sitting side by side on the bench staring deadeyed out at the ice until the coach calls their names and they blink back to life and throw themselves over the boards

Sometimes pervert shit is all we got in this dark world

idk it's just Shane reaching for Ilya's hand on the team bus and Ilya dragging Shane onto the ice by his hand for practice and Shane and Ilya holding hands waiting for the hotel coffee machine and Ilya sitting on Shane's left at tape review so Shane can still take notes if they hold hands and Shane scrolling on his phone while Ilya catches up with Harris and they're holding hands and

Ilya opening a gatorade and passing it on without looking, Shane mid-conversation at the bar tilting his head for a drive-by kiss unprompted, an annoyingly complicated handshake ritual before each game, checking each other into the boards to steal a headbutt, Shane getting to the sandwiches first and grabbing Ilya’s favourite, Ilya producing a spare roll of stick tape from nowhere, holding doors for each other, making breakfast, "can you grab my phone and text Rose—" and "your mom wants to know—" and "hey. by the way. we're married"

shane hollander would love a rice cake not even for weird diet reasons just for the crunchcrunchcrunchcrunch

my sick mind conjures the image of ilya and shane having phone sex and ilya is like really panting and grunting through the phone like “tell me what im going to do to you” and shane is like “youre going to get me on all fours (crunch) and spit on my hole cuz you own it (crunch) and then spread my legs wide and (crunch crunch)-“ and ilya is like “no fucking way youre eating a rice cake right now”