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i need ilya to be the little spoon so bad. i need shane to be so curled up around him. i need him nuzzling into shane’s chest. i need his curls to be pet and played with. i need him tucked into shane’s neck. i need his back scratched. i need shane cooing in his ear. i need him to have so many soothing kisses. i need him to wake up so wrapped up and loved up, he forgets for a moment that he ever felt lonely.
first post for context / see the tag 'open relationship au' for more snippets or the masterlist so kindly put together by @tafkarfanfic.
June 2015
It's been a day since Shane sent that message to Brian. A little over two hours since Brian's plane landed. Ten minutes since he texted Shane, telling him he was almost there.
Six seconds since he knocked on the door.
Shane is so anxious he feels numb as he reaches for the handle. He's practiced what to say but he has no idea what to expect from Brian, no way to really mentally prepare.
He's knocked off course immediately as he sees Brian.
His face is bruised, an angry dark purple stretched across his cheek. It's such an incongruous sight - Shane can't remember the last time he saw an injury like that on someone other than a hockey player - that it takes him a moment to figure out what he's even looking at.
"What happened?"
"Can I come in?" Brian asks instead of answering.
Shane steps aside, head still reeling. Once Brian is inside, leaning against the kitchen counter, he asks again, "What happened?"
"I, uh, kinda got into it with this drunk homophobe," Brian says, smiling wryly. "I wouldn't have engaged but I was kinda drunk too, so. I'm just lucky my friends were there and he was alone because it could've ended really badly."
Cold fear pools in Shane's stomach at the thought. He knows the kind of violence gay people face, has seen what even perceived queerness gets met with in locker rooms across every level, but this feels different, the stark, ugly reality of it staring at him in the face.
"That's awful," he says. "Are you okay?"
Brian shrugs one shoulder. "I'm fine. It probably looks worse than it feels. Anyway, it's not why I'm here."
"Oh." Shane shifts on his feet. "Right. Uh..."
"I really fucked up, coming to Vegas."
Shane blinks. Brian is looking at him, brows drawn, and Shane doesn't know what to do with the contriteness he sees on his face. This isn't how he expected this conversation to go, and it hasn't even really started yet.
"It was so inconsiderate of me," Brian continues. "I just knew that I really wanted to be there, even if we couldn't see each other. I didn't think about how much it would stress you out, and I should have because I know what's at stake for you."
"That's, uh - " Shane doesn't know what to say. Even if we couldn't see each other. Would Brian really have been fine with that, if Shane had just asked instead of making an argument out of it right away? "I guess I overreacted a little."
"Babe, no. You were right, I shouldn't have been there." Brian laughs, running a hand through his hair. "Truthfully, I feel like I've been going a little crazy over you lately."
"...You have?"
"I've been really jealous," Brian admits. "I think... maybe opening the relationship was a bad idea."
Shane has no idea how they got here. He feels ten steps behind, his planned speech up in smokes. These are all things he never in a million years would have thought he'd hear Brian say.
"It seemed to make sense at the time. But now," Brian waves a dismissive hand, "I feel like an idiot for suggesting it in the first place. For not closing it again when you asked for it, last May."
Shane doesn't remember asking for that. He remembers telling Brian that not seeing Ilya anymore would amount to the same thing on his side, but that hadn't been the point. He'd wanted to be able to keep seeing Ilya because he liked him - not that he'd realized this about himself at the time.
Right. He needs to get this conversation back on track.
"It wasn't a great idea," he agrees. "But it happened and it - it changed things for me."
Something sharpens in Brian's gaze and Shane looks away, feeling oddly ashamed.
"This is about Rozanov," Brian says. It isn't a question.
Shane nods at the floor. "I, uh. I like him. He likes me, too."
"And now you want to leave me for him."
It sounds so unbelievably cruel, phrased like that. Shane can't bring himself to look up and he startles when Brian's hand cups his cheek, nudging his chin up.
"And then what?" Brian asks, voice gentle. "It would be a hundred times more complicated being with him, wouldn't it? You don't even live in the same country. And what happens when he loses interest?"
Shane's stomach twists at that. It feels wrong, to think of Ilya as being so fickle, but it's been nagging at him all the same.
Brian's thumb brushes softly across his cheek. "This is my fault. I know I haven't been a good boyfriend lately, but I can make it up to you. I just need the chance."
It's so difficult, remembering how awful Brian made him feel before when right now, he's being so gentle. Saying all the right things, actually admitting to fault in a way Shane has never heard him do before.
"I love you so much, Shane. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you."
Shane swallows. He can't even say it back, the words getting caught in his throat as he thinks them. They wouldn't be true; he doesn't love Brian anymore. When did that happen?
"I - I don't-"
"One chance," Brian pleads. He kisses Shane and Shane lets him. "This is just a stumbling block, I promise. We can go back to how we were."
Shane isn't sure he can believe that. He doesn't even know that he wants it to be true. But denying Brian the chance to even try feels wrong. Like quitting mid-game.
i think the first time they have sex missionary without a condom ilya is so overwhelmed by staring into shane's eyes and knowing shane loves him and knowing shane has welcomed him into his favorite place in the world that ilya cries during sex. ie, ilya cries during sex before shane cries during sex. send ask.
Anon you are right and you should say it. I’ve been on this wavelength for a while. I think it only gets worse the longer they’re together.
As soon as he feels the tears spill from his eyes, Ilya tries to duck away, to hide his face against Shane’s throat, or maybe distract him with a hand around his cock between them. But Shane’s hands are strong, and he circles Ilya’s face, holding him in place. The tears wash over Shane’s fingers, finding Ilya’s skin again through the gaps. Wetness coats his fingers, slicking Shane’s grip, but he sures it up, pressing with the pads of his fingers.
“Keep looking at me?” Shane says, almost a question, but it’s not a question at all whether Ilya will obey.
“Of course.” Ilya turns his face enough to fit one of Shane’s fingers in his mouth, sucking the salt of his own tears until he only tastes skin.
It feels so good inside Shane, Ilya wants to stay there forever. It feels so good to look at him, to take in the serenity of Shane’s pleasure. Slow, slow, Ilya has said before, when it was Shane who had been in a hurry. It’s worth it to insist on taking their time, and they have nowhere to be. The windows are open and they hear birds outside, the lapping of the lake. Not all birds make pretty sounds, but it’s offset by the tinkling of the wind-chime hanging to catch the breeze. A gift from his parents when he’d first built the cottage, Shane has said.
“Look at you,” Ilya breathes, letting Shane’s finger fall from his mouth, pumping the full length of his cock inside of him. Inside of his lover. As much as Shane balks at the word, Ilya loves it. He knows Shane loves it too.
“You’re not so bad yourself.” Shane thumbs at the tears continuing to fall from Ilya’s eyes. “Come on baby, want you to come.”
The endearment sends a pang through Ilya’s chest, down his belly, and to the root of him. It’s not the first time Shane’s used it. He likes it, likes what it does to Ilya. Ilya speeds up the thrust of his hips. He braces himself on his elbows, his stomach brushing Shane’s cock on every stroke.
“I want you to come in me so bad, baby,” Shane says, finally closing his eyes and giving in to the pleasure. Ilya buries his face against Shane’s neck, a wrenching moan like a sob as fresh tears wash over Shane’s skin. Ilya kisses his throat, licks the skin there. Shane’s arms wind around him, massaging his back, urging him on. “That’s it, just a little more. Wanna feel it. Wanna keep it inside me. Wanna keep you forever.”
A wave of heat washes over Ilya, and he doesn’t know what is emotion and what is physical anymore as he buries himself inside, spilling hot and wet as deep as he can. He comes down slowly, with Shane petting his hair.
Ilya sits up, pulling out to see Shane wince as the evidence spills from him onto the sheets.
“Did you like it?” Ilya asks quietly, hearing the desperate need in his own voice.
“I loved it.” Shane rubs Ilya’s arms. His cock is still hard and red against his stomach. “Love you—“
It’s still painful, to hear it. Like a wound Shane insists on reopening. Ilya moans, leaning down as wetness fills his mouth instead, and takes Shane inside to suck.
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good morning to ilya rozanov, who pulled off his best Oh No So Sleepy Still face to get out of a morning run so he can instead sneak a beautiful breakfast cigarette on the balcony, his heart doing that thunk thunk thunk thing as he watches shane and anya jog back up to the house against the rising sun, anya’s tail wagging and shane looking gorgeous in his little jocky jogging outfit while he smiles up at ilya through panting breaths.
good evening to ilya rozanov who’s just gotten his husband higher than god and promptly misplaced him in their own home, only to shuffle into the kitchen and find shane with both hands gripped around the brita, all ten fingers spread wide, his head tipped back and mouth slugging straight from the pour spout, effectively soaking the front of his comfy shirt
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shane and ilya fucking/getting each other off in the same room as some of the centaurs....and everyone Knows it's happening but no one bats an eye bc that's just hollander and rozanov, they're nuts. and tbh......the guys find it pretty hot. they'll all just be chilling at one of bood's bbqs, everyone various degrees of tipsy having a little fire pit convo, and everyone is fully aware of ilya's hand slowly moving up and down under the little blanket both he and shane have draped over their laps. they hear the breathlessness in shane's voice as he continues with the group conversation as if nothing's happening. they like when he cuts himself off and comes into ilya's fist beneath the blanket, and they all try to sneak a peek at ilya's sticky hand as he gets up to wash it in the kitchen sink.
they’re all sitting around one night and shane has his head in ilya’s lap and ilya casually grabs a fistful of shane’s hair and presses his cheek into ilya’s crotch and everyone pretends not to notice he’s hard but shane gets all droopy-eyed and starts breathing heavier and rubbing his face against it…..finally ilya drags him to the bathroom and makes shane come back out with his lips all swollen and his voice wrecked. they’re like fuck roz is he always that eager and shane hides his face in ilya’s neck and ilya is like usually he is much worse :)
blah blah blah ilya and shane fucking bare and shane just mumbling "i love you" because he's lost all sense of the english and quebecois dictionary pls walk with me here
Shane and Ilya are fucking - duh - and like Ilya has Shane's legs up around his shoulders and Ilya's in this push up position where he's able to hold Shane's hands and he's just PLOWING into him. And we all know that Shane gets all breathy and his eyes get all fluttery and his cheeks are red because he's panting so hard. And Ilya's fucking him so good, keeps saying like "Love how you feel around me, kotik" "you take it like such a champion" "my good boy" and shane is just doin his lil ah ah ahs because it feels so fucking good and he can't think of any words so he just blurts out "i love you." And he says it in this cute little breathy whisper and when Ilya doesnt respond right away he says it again. Ilya, of course, starts fucking into him harder and he's panting and making that one face where its taking everything in him not to make noise and finally he's like "say it again." So shane complies and is like "fuck, i love you. I love you so much, Ilya." And Ilya who is so greedy to hear those words just says "again" and he's jackrabbiting his hips and he's grasping Shane's hands like he's going to die if he lets go and Shane just has his eyes closed and his head back and his chest heaving and is crying out "i love you. God, i love you, ilya. Fuck fuck fuck im gonna cum, i love you so much." And when he finally cums, of course untouched because Ilya's dick is that magical to him, he's like whining and his head is thrashing around and hes just sayinf "iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou ilya i love you." And Ilya cums maybe harder than he ever has, his face scrunching and he's pulling Shane's hips up and into his soooooo hard and he's pulsing in Shane's hole and he can feel cum leak out with every tiny thrust he manages to force himself to keep going. And Ilya is like "mmmmmShanefuckiloveyou" and shane is all breathy still and this big smile on his face and his eyes are closed and he whispers "say it again" and so ilya does and shane says "say it in russian" and when ilya says "ya tebya lyublyu" he can feel Shane's hole clenching around him like the strongest vice in the world and Shane just lets out a lil "mmmmm" because he's all warm and fuzzy and he just feels so floaty and so good and so in love and he loves that ilya loves him. And this is all to say that theyve been married for like years at this point and this is like a multi weekly occurrence. Its just so sexy to them that they're in love and that they can say it.
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if s2 was up to me i would 100% include shane’s centre ice fantasy and i’d set it up like. ottawa vs montreal. they’re skating up for the face off. the viewer thinks it’s a regular game. there’s a whole crowd, two teams, the referees, etc. then they look at each other and they’re both dropping their helmets glove-drop style and making out and desperately taking off each other’s gear and with every layer that comes off there’s another ‘background layer’ lost, like the teams disappear, the crowd noise fades out, etc. the last thing to go is the commentary. the whole thing is narrated like ‘there appears to be a delay to the face off as shane hollander adjusts his helmet and- oh. oh wow. well. that’s unexpected folks. i did not think this game would have many surprises for us but here we are. this will delay the puck drop for sure. i don’t recall this ever happening on- oh good god let’s leave them to it we can’t show that on the broadcast’
and they fuck with ilya standing and holding shane with shane’s legs around his waist (idc that this is not feasible it’s shane’s dream and also mine). scene ends with shane all moaning and Lost In The Sauce with his head tipped back and his back arching and ilya’s mouth on his neck. followed by a hard cut to him in the same position but half asleep in bed like in the book and ilya waking up beside him like 🥵
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