Dictating Patterns

Nobody loves me

I just want someone to love me

Here I am again. I feel like one of these days I will either die, or just straight up kill myself. I do not know where the depression comes from. I miss my Dad though. I hang on by a thread. Guess we will see how long that thread lasts. 

Metal on the skin

Nobody loves me but it's ok

My anxiety is off the charts right now. I don't know why. This is unfortunate.

I try to tell myself all the things I am supposed to to get better. No matter how hard something is, wake up, seize the day. Lately all I feel is crippling sadness. I can't catch a break. Nothing is going my way. I desperately try to right these wrongs but I've lost complete control of my life. The thoughts keep getting louder. Closer. Shapes begin to form. Clarity sharper. Its no longer a distant object on the horizon. It's here. And I'm afraid it has passed the event horizon. I'm afraid it's now swirling around my gravity, closer and closer. Eventually, collision. No longer a matter of if, but when. Its coming.